Mimic
by SunMoonKunochi
Summary: Many considered it funny, or weird, or disturbing. I treasured it. Imagine my surprised when I was tongue raped and dragged through darkness, to find that my talent was considered something amazing, and deadly. It was okay though, I had an everyday, kitchen appliance in my hand, a slowly fracturing mind, and ridicuously large chakra reserves to boot. Self-insert with a fun twist.
1. Opening Scene: Mimic age 14

**Hiya, this is just an idea I have to get down because it's irritating me so much. This is a real self-insert, by the way. The idea is something I haven't seen before and I'm excited about it. The character and all her quirks are based off me, I'm serious that all this stuff is truthful (either than her eyes, but whatever).**

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**Disclaimer:** _The only thing I own is this idea and my character._

**Warning:** _Language. Random kissing._

* * *

I stood slightly nervously in front of the class full of kids my age, judging me with their smart brains and higher intellect. Moving schools sucked.

Especially if you were moving in year eight, and to a high school of selective kids. Fucking smart asses. But I can't talk, really, _I'm _here aren't I?

The teacher, Mrs J-something or other asked me to do an introduction. Okay, didn't seem too hard. Looking anywhere but at the curious kids eyes, I spoke as clearly as I could with my accent.

"Hi, my name is Alice Clostar. I'm fourteen years old in two months, I moved to this selective school from a public school a few suburbs over. I like many things and I hate too many people," I grinned weakly at them, "I'm also a mimicker."

* * *

This is the part where we get the whole mimicking business underway and explained, blah, blah, blah. So, basically (to continue with this whole cliché feel) it all started not too long ago...

At a young age there was nothing special about little ol' me, barring my aptitude for contact sports and trying my best to be a boy. I didn't care too much about my aptitude of shirts and shorts rather than dresses, and it was perfectly fine to my family.

Not so much to the kids in primary school.

To my credit I didn't do the cliché, come home bawling my eyes out, or cutting, or suicide. I simply sat there and imagined that I was drop kicking the bastard a hundred metres.

I had a small group of friends, a good sense of humour and was the one female in the school who was bound to challenge a _guy _to a wrestling match, rather than play house with the other girls.

At the age of eleven, while I was in year five, I had developed a strange new habit. Everyone dismissed it as being funny, but I found it horrifying; I had a vocal tick.

Yeah, laugh it up, but it sucked big time, e]]]. Every once in a while I would blurt out a word or phrase completely and utterly unpurposely. Year five it was stupid words like 'tawesome,' or 'skillfish,' but by halfway through the year, it had gotten stranger.

I was calmly minding my business in class after finishing my work. My teacher was helping other kids and try as I could, I couldn't wait for the teacher to finish explaining the questions. Maths was a bit hard, but English flowed easily for me and I was now staring out the window bored out of my fricking mind!

The usual.

Out of nowhere my throat got an _urge. _I really couldn't explain the sudden _need _to do something. I opened my mouth, pushing air out, and imagine my surprise when my throat seemed to jump and beat itself. A high pitched chattering noise came out of my mouth and distracted the whole class.

I had made a fucking dolphin noise.

Of course to the class it was hilarious, but as everyone roared with laughter, I wanted to sink to the deepest depths of the ocean and drown myself in my sorrows.

But not everyone could win.

It got worse as the word seemed to spread and people continued to ask me to do it. I was happy to do it at the start as it seemed to make people laugh and enjoy it, but eventually it got tiring, and then it was...stuck. I couldn't stop doing it. By the time I was in year six, I had also aced the art of surprising myself with strange, new noises.

It seriously gave me a heart attack every time I felt my throat doing something unexpected and new.

I could mimic dogs, cats, horses, snakes, walruses, seagulls, kookaburras, lyre bird mating calls. The list could go on, and on if I tried. But it wasn't just animals I could mimic; a baby's cry, trains, waves, cartoon sound effects (falling sound, etc), crowd cheering, chainsaws (loved that one!) and easily my favourite, ticking bombs and explosions!

After a quick trip to my mother's homeland of Ireland (I was Australian) and a side trip to England and Queensland, I returned home with the English and Irish accent down pat. I continued to listen to other people's accents and managed to mimic French, Japanese, Scottish and Indian. But after mimicking and practising the accents for so long they got mixed up with my own voice.

The kids got a new target in teasing when they found my voice wouldn't go back to normal.

Meanwhile, my family merely accepted what was going on and I finally joined my older brother in high school.

That also meant I had to explain the accent, the mimicking and the vocal ticks that were **still **plaguing me all over again! Do you know how annoying it is to introduce yourself to someone and they ask where your from because your accents weird, and you reply lamely with 'Australian...'

High school was a bitch of a place, though, and my friends eventually left me for popularity. But that was okay since I had a new and improved version of my friend; the library!

I spent more and more time there until I spent my lunchtimes working behind the counter leasing out books. That was when I discovered the brightly coloured books that sat hidden behind the counter.

Fairy Tail was the first manga I had ever read and I fell in love with the bright animation and people. I caught up with the manga and watched the anime in record time. After that I wandered around for a bit until I found a very familiar person.

Naruto was something I remembered watching on Cheese TV at a young age. **(A/N: Who remembers Cheese TV out of the Australians?!) **and I quickly fell back into a pattern of speedily reading the manga and blitzing through the anime.

Reading/watching the series actually helped me through the shitty time I had at high school, as cliché and horrible that sounds. My grades were even higher in VisualAart after I mimicked the manga art style, and Japanese was something I excelled at after memorising anime voice actors and their words, which I translated into Japanese.

Although it was embarrassing when 'tebayo became my new vocal tick. Especially when a boy in my class knew exactly where it was from.

Even with all that shit going on, I finally finished year seven with high enough marks to ditch the hell hole and head to a selective school for smart kids. Nerds who were like me, yes!

I started the year hoping to be more accepted (it helped we were all smart rejects), and to refine my talent. I was betting there was going to be a whole heap of new accents here I can mimic! It'll be awesome!

* * *

I ignored the few curious looks from the kids and sat down next to a short girl who seemed fairly kind, if a bit spunky if her red highlights were any indication. I'm sure I would enjoy it here. At least, I hope so...

* * *

Turns out school life was fucking awesome! I had made a bunch of friends and found myself easily integrated into the school ad its inhabitants - I wasn't the weirdest person there!

Thank the gods!

People encouraged my talent and I aced the start of music when I found out I could mimic singers voices. It wasn't that hard, really, which surprised the crap out of me.

It sounded awesome every time I sung like Rihanna, or rapped like Macklemore. I mimicked famous people's voices and abused my power to be able to use Morgan Freemans' ultra sexy voice.

With great talent comes great sexiness.

Finishing my first school year at my school with good grades and a good mindset I prepared myself for a whole new year, with electives!

Doing Japanese and Visual Arts was fun and all, but life became more sweeter when I got a job!

It was a good paying job at a small pizza place right near my seaside town house. I worked counter, dishie and preparation (preparing the food), and loved it a lot.

In fact, **The Incident **that started the whole shenanigans (to put it very, _very_ simply) happened as I was walking home from my five till eight thirty shift.

* * *

Edging through a throng of drunk, partygoers, I was surprised to see absolutely no one near me. Shrugging it off as a rare phenomenon, I continued my way down the boulevard.

I knew I shouldn't have, but I couldn't help myself as I heard a strange rattling noise coming from one of the very few alleyways that came off from the boulevard. They weren't very long and were normally brightly lit, but this one seemed to be an odd one.

Creeping closer, I called out softly, wary of disrupting the silence surrounding me; I was starting to get a bad feeling here. "Hello? Anyone there?" hearing no answer, I crept in closer. The rattling sound had stopped, but the hairs on my neck hadn't settled down yet.

I let off a round of shivering as a sudden cold swept across the adventure time t-shirt and bright orange, denim shorts I had changed into after work. Rubbing my bare arms I kept close to the wall as I walked in further. I _really _could've had sworn that the alleyways weren't this long.

Again, I foolishly ignored the sense of foreboding, and_ nostalgia_ that swept across me, and I called out again, "sir? Madam? Is anyone there?"

I nearly wet myself as an answering growl was heard. Was there a feral dog in here or something?

Slowly beginning to shift back, I prepared myself to run, but stopped when a purple and black blur _passed through me_ and doused me in icy coldness. After shuddering off the freaky feeling, I slowly turned fearfully and bit back a scream at the ghoulish face I saw.

A dull purple face stared at me with its glowing yellow eyes that stood out more against its _black _of its eyes. They were supposed to be white! I flicked my eyes to the pointed horns that contrasted with the spiky, white hair **IT** sprouted.

The clinking of beads drew my attention to the red, bead necklace that nestled in the middle of the open chest robe **IT** was wearing. I gulped as I looked back at the watchful, yellow eyes that seemed to be staring right into my soul.

**IT **didn't have its usual knife in its mouth but I knew who **IT **was instinctively. I bowed deeply, "Shingami-sama," I managed to blurt out as my heart threatened to traitorously ditch me through my mouth.

I felt the cold gaze even as I bowed and I quickly skittered away from the idea of trying to shove away and escape from a _fricking death god!_ I'd be cut down before I even made it a metre.

I was confused and scared witless, and that usually meant I went into full retard mode with explosions and the whole works, or the ever silent, moody adult.

It was fortunate my body decided on being mature for once.

_"Human,"_ hissed out a voice that made me want to either pass out or attempt to kill myself from the pressure and coldness that emanated from it. My eyeballs felt like they were being pressed back into my head and my breathing was rasping tiredly out through the weight on my chest. Before I could freak out any more, claw-like hands pulled at my chin and I could only stare in horror as I had to look **IT **in the eye.

_"I have taken too many souls far too early,"_ hissed Shingami. Fuck! I didn't even know the thing could talk! _"Too many souls have been taken..."_ Yeah, I got that buddy. _"And it needs to be repaid!"_ Ohhhhh fuck.

It seemed to grin slightly, but whatever it was, it freaked the shit out of me! _"Your soul is bright mortal..."_ I don't like where this is going! I especially didn't like the claw-like hands that crept towards me. _"Balance is needed!"_ The claws pulled at my unwilling face until they slowly managed to pry my mouth open. And then I was exposed to my first kiss.

That is, if you call a tongue being shoved two thirds down your throat by a death god a kiss.

Go ahead, I don't know what you do in your free time.

Coldness began to spark inside of me and even as Shingami retreated, I couldn't move or make a single sound. The coldness burned and ate its way through my throat, where the tongue of Shingami had been. My voice box suddenly grated and shifted. I could literally feel it twisting and _changing itself. _I let out a scream as darkness began to close over me, and screamed again at the inhumane sound that was coming from my throat.

Tottering on the edge of unconsciousness, I only got one more look at glowing yellow eyes before I finally tipped back and slowly fell into unconsciousness.

The hissing, shiveringly cold voice of the Death god seemed to echo through my mind, and I swear to Kami I felt my mind begin to fracture slightly, just a splinter of insanity. Surrendering to that morbid thought, I let myself be dragged down into the depths of the cold that gripped me everywhere.

* * *

Kakashi stared warily at the girl before him. He had been walking the streets to home after the tiresome ordeal in Wave when he found this girl passed out on the side of the road, unconscious. It was very odd and weird, but of course his fucking morals just _had _to make him stop to help what seemed an adolescent girl on the street.

He scanned over her with a critical eye, trying to determine her classification. He could see the rise and fall of her slightly endowed chest and the jump of a pulse in her tanned wrists, so that meant that she was alive and had no problems with her heart or breathing. There were no visible signs of injury on her tanned skin either than old scar wounds on her knuckles and legs; she had been in a few scraps in her life, it seemed. There wasn't even a sign of a struggle which ruled out a civilian mugging or raping.

Sniffing the air experimentally and finding no scent of poisons or tranquiliser, Kakashi finally approached the girl. Judging by the slight sprawl and calm demeanour of her body, the girl had fainted. And although he girl looked fit, she didn't have the same physique as kunoichi her age.

Unless she was a fangirl.

Kakashi brushed off that thought and examined the girls face closely. A dash of freckles across a nice nose, tanned skin, rather long, brown hair that shimmered red in certain angles of light; natural colouring, it seemed. Her cheekbones, jaw or lips weren't prominent in any way, but the whole combination looked slightly..._foreign_. But other than that, she just looked like a harmless civilian that had fallen asleep. At least, until she suddenly bolted upright like she had been electrified.

Kakashi's one eye was met with slightly dead-looking green eyes that, frankly, actually creeped him out a bit. The brunette then spoke in the coldest, most wrong voice he had ever heard. _"Souls are repaid. Balance is fulfilled."_

The dead whispering sent shivers down Kakashi's spine and he only just caught the girl as her eyes rolled into the back of her head and she dramatically passed out.

Kakashi sighed slightly; he was too old for this shit. He knew he should take the girl to a hospital, but he was tired! Even after a few weeks rest, he could still feel the pull on Obito's sharingan. Shrugging slightly as he made his mind up, Kakashi picked the girl up in a bridal carry and began to walk the last bit to his apartment. He would do something in the morning.

After he'd slept.

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**Okay that was the first chapter of mimic. This is kind of like a promo so I want you guys to tell me if it is good enough to continue with.**

**Seriously there won't be any more OC's or OOCness, either than making Kakashi a little more sarcastic and SASSY. Why did Kishimoto make such an amazing person so calm and forgiving around little shits like team seven. Kami knows I would've become even more sarcastic and sardonic if I was around them as much as Kakashi is!**

**Anyway hope you liked it and please give me some feed back, flamers are more than welcome!**

**SunMoon Kunoichi out bitches!**

**(Edited: 1/11/14)**


	2. Enter: Ninja-copies

**Okay I'm deciding that I'm going to write Mimic on Tuesday, Wednesday and Kunoichi Say What on the weekends. But when I finally finish surf season I'll have heaps of time, YAY! So another month or two and I am free!**

**Prepare yourselves, Alice is here!**

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**Disclaimer: **_Don't own Naruto and all that magic_

**Warning: **_HAHAHA I'm a bad person for cussing. Also snarky Kakashi. You know you all want it._

* * *

Kakashi blinked tiredly once and then snapped awake. He yawned as he dragged himself out of the small futon he owned and turned to the kitchen. Walking over he grabbed a glass and filled it with water before slumping down at his small dinner table, the only furniture he held either than some appliances, a futon and a comfy chair that only he used. Sipping at the water he stared blearily out of the window of his small apartment on the third floor. The dawn was especially bright today, but Kakashi didn't feel like admiring it, he was still far too tired to admire anything. In fact, he felt like doing absolutely nothing, but alas, he had a team of genins to take care of.

As the Nara's say, troublesome.

He yawned again and cracked his back as he stood up. Padding towards his small closet he crammed a ration bar in his mouth, real food could come later. Pulling out some new clothes he entered the shower and cleansed himself thoroughly.

After finishing the shower, Kakashi quickly changed and headed for the door, pulling his mask over his face. Hopefully he could get in a few hours of stone-gazing before turning up late for his team's training.

Honestly he didn't want to go to training, but yesterday Naruto pulled the puppy eyes and annoyed him till he said he would turn up. Albeit late, but he would show up, and it's the thought that counts.

Sighing he continued for the door, only to stub his toe against something.

Cursing softly he looked for whatever he had kicked, only to find the body of the girl he had found last night lying right in front of the door.

Rubbing his neck he chuckled nervously, he had left the girl on the floor by accident all night.

Studying the girl, Kakashi deemed that she looked the same as last night, excluding the creepy voice thing. Sighing again he hoisted the girl over his shoulder and continued his way to the memorial stone.

* * *

Naruto was vibrating with excitement.

The wave mission had been a sort of success. Sure; he was sad that Haku and Zabuza had died, but he had completed a C-rank mission! The old man better watch out, 'cause he was coming for that hat!

Whistling tunelessly he jumped down from the building near the edge of town. Crossing a clearing he easily leapt into the trees and tree hopped to the training ground where he was going to meet with his team.

He surprisingly was usually first, alongside the Teme or sometimes Sakura, though usually she was spending time on her hair.

Flipping off the tree he nearly screamed at the sight of his sensei standing there, ON TIME!

"SENSEI!" He (screamed anyway), "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?" Squinting at Kakashi he suddenly exclaimed, "YOU'RE AN IMPOSTER, THAT'S WHAT!" Nodded sagely Naruto crossed his arms and glared at the 'fake' copy nin.

He got a groan in answer, "honestly Naruto it's seven in the morning, can you not be quiet like any normal human being?" Naruto scowled at Kakashi, "Kaka-sensei, it's not cool to be so mean!" he turned away with a pout.

Kakashi really wanted to slam his head in the ground, but that wouldn't be good for his image. The image of a tardy, lazy, pervert must be upheld for Obito's sake. Yes, Obito's...

"Kaka-sensei what the hell are you doing with an unconscious chick?!" Exclaimed Naruto as he pointed at the body of the brunette that was slumped on the ground behind Kakashi.

Said paedophile scratched his head embarrassed, "um, I found her?" He made it sound like an extremely awkward question, one that Naruto frowned disbelievingly at. "You don't just find chicks Kakashi-sensei! Even I know that!"

Kakashi laughed and patted the blondes hair, "at least you know something."

Naruto growled and snapped at Kakashi's fingers, who then made a large gap between the two.

Their tirade was interrupted by a low groan from behind Kakashi. Turning around the copy nin saw that the 'chick' was finally waking up! Unfortunately the girl was content to just flail around and groan a bit, not making a move to actually wake up.

Kakashi narrowed his eyes slightly, something was definitely off about this situation, even civilians had chakra sources, this girl didn't! Normally they were fairly dormant and hard to sense when someone is asleep, and Kakashi wasn't the greatest sensor. He had dismissed it and thought nothing of it, but this was serious! This girl was seriously chakra deprived if he couldn't sense her chakra as she awoke. When people didn't have enough chakra they were in danger of dying, Kakashi knew that this girl needed a chakra transfusion straight away. The hospital was over the other side of the village though, he knew she wouldn't last the time it took him to get over there, even using shushin.

"Naruto!" He barked out and the blond snapped to attention as he heard his sensei was in a serious mood. "Come here," commanded Kakashi as he knelt down next to the semi-conscious girl. Hurrying over the blond knelt next to his sensei as Kakashi held out a glowing green hand.

He passed the hand over the girl, stopping near the heart and stomach mainly. "Kakashi-sensei what are you doing?" Asked the confused blond, chakra was blue, not green.

"It's medical ninjutsu," clipped out Kakashi. "I know a few but I need your chakra, not that mouth of yours."

Merely nodding Naruto held out his hands, Kakashi placed them on top of his after he lifted the shirt of the girl and shifted her white bra slightly.

Ignoring the blush that threatened to creep up his face, Naruto slowly began to pour chakra into his hands. The hands were easiest to charge with chakra, and after tree walking, Naruto felt a bit more confident that he wasn't going to blow the girls face off. Like he had done with that poor tree he had trained on.

Kakashi meanwhile, was struggling to direct the massive influx of chakra that was coming from Naruto, safely into where her chakra core was, just above the navel.

Frowning when he could feel no pulse of chakra that signified that chakra was filling up her core, he asked Naruto to gently increase the chakra input.

Of course a little chakra for normal people equalled regular genin reserves for Naruto.

Cursing the blond and his ungodly reserves, Kakashi continued to direct the flow of chakra into the girl, gradually spreading it out to her whole body.

When he still felt no reaction, Kakashi grew worried, and that feeling in his gut never meant anything good.

Gasping slightly as he felt his reserves reach their current halfway, around a quarter of his normal reserves, Kakashi knew something was definitely wrong.

Cursing again he quickly flicked up his headband and analysed the girl with Obito's sharingan. Eyes widening in horror he instantly cut off his supply of chakra, only to realise Naruto's chakra was unconsciously trying to make up for the loss of chakra by shoving more in.

Groaning in pain, Kakashi struggled to channel the chakra safely, "Naruto stop!" The blond had his eyes and ears closed as he continued to pour in the chakra. Obito's sharingan saw that the blond was halfway full of chakra, adding to Kakashi's quarter reserves, this girl now had a - a fuck load of chakra.

Shoving the blond away Kakashi broke the flow of chakra, and shielded him just in case the leftover chakra in the air dispersed in a combustive bang.

Warily peeking around and deciding there was no threat, Kakashi let the blond up; who then gasped for air dramatically. "Kakashi-sensei you fat ass!" Cried Naruto, "you could've squished me to death!"

"Maybe I'll keep that in mind next time you get on my nerves," eye smiled Kakashi innocently. Naruto scowled at him before perking up, "ne, ne! Where's the chick!"

Both ninja turned to where the girl was lying, only to find her curled up in a ball, contently asleep.

"Well I guess she's okay," remarked Kakashi as the two made their way over to the girl and sat down.

"Ne Kakashi-sensei why were you so early?" Asked Naruto excitedly, he had never seen his sensei earlier than two hours late for training.

"That's my secret my cute little genin," smiled Kakashi mysteriously, "and it looks like another of my little kiddies is here!"

"I am not a child Kakashi, do not refer me to as one," drawled a bored voice as a blue and white garbed kid walked towards them. Sasuke had his hands deep in his short pockets and a bored look plastered on his face as he stood in front of his teammate and sensei.

"You're here early Kakashi, that's a first," Sasuke stared at his sensei questionably.

"I do not understand why it is so hard for you to call me sensei," sighed Kakashi as he stood up again and fished an orange book out of his pocket.

"Well you people are boring and I want to see what kind of naughty, naughty things Raiya can do to Tsundere!" He giggled lightly as he flicked the book open and went to lean against the tree.

"Kaka-sensei can be so gross and perverted sometimes," commented Naruto with a wrinkle of his nose. "Hn," was all he got in reply. His reply to that reply was a scowl with a fingered salute.

Sasuke scowled back and flicked the blond in the head, "Dobe."

Naruto snarled and jumped up, only to trip over something. Sasuke smirked in amusement, "can't see through the orange glare of that horrendous outfit Dobe?"

"Shut up!" Barked an embarrassed Naruto as he stood up and dusted himself off. Looking back he groaned, "I totally tripped over the chick!"

Curious the Uchiha peered around his teammate, to see a brunette passed out on the ground. She was wearing a white t-shirt with a blinding array of colours that seemed to make up extremely strange characters. Just as srange, but bright lettering were printed across it. The t-shirt seemed to match the fluorescent orange shorts and green lace up shoes she was sporting. She was almost matching Naruto in her brightness. In addition, he could see a small brown bag peeking out from the girl's orange short waistband.

A brief thought of _why _a girl had a _side-bag _tucked down her _shorts _crossed Sasuke's mind, but he brushed it aside in favour of examining the possible threat.

Her hair splayed out and the Uchiha stared at the brown hair that was mixed with slight blond streaks, and _was that red he saw? _It also looked rather long, as long as his female teammates hair. Her soft face with freckles and strong-for-a-civilian-but-weak-for-a-ninja physique obviously meant she was a civilian.

"Tch, why did you trip over a passed out civilian Dobe?" Asked Sasuke in a bored voice. Naruto shrugged for an answer and began to open his mouth when they heard a low groan, and a strange word.

* * *

**Alice P.O.V. (Finally!)**

My mouth felt dry like sawdust had been shoved down my throat. My brain hurt and it felt like someone was sitting on my chest. Groaning slightly I raised a hand to my head, "fuck," I swore quietly.

Blearily gazing around I noticed something; this wasn't my room! Where were the patchwork sheets and the bland walls that I-wish-I could-paint-but-I-was-still-stuck-in-a-rental!

Instead there were trees, a clearing, and two deceivingly familiar boys who were staring at me.

Smiling weakly I waved at the Naruto and Sasuke look-a-likes that were staring at me. "Sorry for asking," I spoke as clearly as I could with my accent, "but where am I?"

They looked at each other before looking back at me, _"nani ni?"_

Oh hell no! I was lost and two _foreign _cosplayers were the only people I could see that could help me!

"No English?" I asked desperately as they shook their heads and babbled more.

Where were the two and a half years of Japanese Alice?!

Standing up I bowed to them, "Hajimemashite. Watashi no namae wa Arisu desu. Doko ni arimasu ka."

Okay so the last part was a wild stab at where was I, but I had to try!

"_Doko ni arimasu ka?" _Said the Naruto-copy, he sounded confused, which wasn't good for me.

"Ano," I began, "doko?" I tried weakly and the blond nodded, "Konohagakure!" He chirruped wildly as the Sasuke-copy gave him a dirty look.

Sasuke-copy started yelling at Naruto-copy too fast for me to pick up anything, although I did hear baka a few times. Waiting for the two to finish I sat there quietly, humming to myself absently.

* * *

**Sasuke P.O.V. **

"You idiot dobe!" I fumed as the idiot had decency to look abashed, "you don't just tell anyone that they're in our village. What if she's a spy!"

Naruto scuffed the ground sulkily, he went to reply but Kakashi suddenly cut in. "She's not a spy," he remarked as he ambled over, "I've checked her over."

"Kakashi you pervert!" Screamed Naruto as he pointed at the surprised girl, _Arisu_, I reminded myself. "Feeling up a girl like that!" Continued the Dobe as he gestured at Alice with his arms.

Said girl blinked before bursting out in laugher, "ero-baka, ero-baka!" She sung out childishly before returning to chuckling. Definitely not a normal girl.

Kakashi looked fairly miffed at this, squatting down he raised his hand in greeting. Eye smiling he spoke, "yo I'm Kakashi." He continued to smile at the girl, "and you're a little shit."

Choking slightly I gaped at the man, why the hell would you just randomly say that to someone?! Naruto obviously agreed by the way he was yelling, "Kakashi-sensei that's not nice at all!"

The man shrugged in reply, "it's not like she can understand, and she's obviously foreign going by her accent and her meagre grasp of this language."

Scrutinising the girl I had to agree. She was currently sitting down with her face scrunched up in what seemed concentration. She stared up at an amused Kakashi, "yo I'm Kakashi." She spoke in Kakashi's voice perfectly, "and you're a little shit."

I could feel my mouth drop open a bit, she had spoken in our language, in Kakashi's voice! It had sounded like Kakashi was throwing his voice and she was moving her mouth. Glancing at said man, I saw he had a pensive look on his face as he stared at the smug girl.

Arisu was definitely looking pleased with herself and she flashed us a tooth-filled grin.

Kakashi turned to Naruto and I, "come on guys, we're heading to Hokage's office."

"Eh?" Asked Naruto, "why are we going to the old man's room?" Kakashi ignored him in favour of crouching down in front of Arisu. "On?" She asked, when she got a nod in response she squealed and leapt up onto Kakashi's back. Wrapping his arms around her legs, he hoisted the girl up more securely before turning back to us. "We'll use the roofs to get there, think of it as training," he added with a smile.

Arisu was peeking around the jounin's gravity-defying hair, she grinned at me before playing with Kakashi's silver hair.

Ignoring her I turned to Naruto with a smirk, "prepared to lose Dobe?" He grinned back in response, "not on your life Teme!"

We began to race each other to the trees, tree walking when we got to the trunks. The beginning to tree hop, we made our way towards the roofs of Konoha; and you better believe that I was not going to lose!

* * *

**Alice P.O.V.**

Mouth open, I gaped at the two boys that had run up the tree and began fucking jumping ten metre gaps like they were no problem!

"Well that does it, I'm insane," I mumbled to myself as I stroked Kakashi-clone's hair. It was insanely soft if you were wondering.

Kakashi-clone turned to me with the eye smile down pat, he babbled something that I couldn't really understand. I heard 'go' and 'Hokage' in there so I shrugged. "Ike!" I yelled out and kicked the Kakashi-clone in the ribs. I could tell he was irked but he began to run. And I mean run.

He sprinted up the side of the tree and began tree hopping at blinding speed. The trees seemed to blur slightly and I was tempted to put my hand out and touch it. You know when you're in the car with the window down and you just have an _urge_ to stick your hand out and touch something. Of course that generally results in hands being lost, but it always seems like a good idea.

Kakashi turned his head back slightly and I couldn't help but yell out, "eyes on the road!" Of course he couldn't understand me but there was sentimental value in there.

He said something slowly to me and I could pick up 'faster' and 'ok?' I grinned at this, I was an adrenaline junkie, this speed was as good as riding on a motorbike. Duh, I wanna go faster!

I nodded swiftly and screamed in happiness as he began to _really _sprint. The scream was lost in the howl of wind and I laughed as I ducked into Kakashi's soft hair.

Yes I had realised that it was the real Kakashi. It was kind of hard when you were running at speeds equal to the speed of sound. He even had that eye smile; damn that classic eye smile.

I couldn't help but let one of my hands that were clasped around my neck wander. Not that way you dirty, dirty people! I brushed my hand along the bottom of his masked face and felt him jerk in surprise.

Making a shushing sound I continued to brush my hand around his jaw and marvelled at how real it felt. The mask wasn't rough but smooth as silk. Well I would want something that covered my face 24/7 to be nice and comfortable.

Pulling slightly at the material, I pondered some. I had always wondered what Kakashi's face-mask was like; he always wore it and now I can see why. If I had something that silky, I'd wear it all the time.

I began blinking tears away at the sudden sunlight that hit my face; and I finally got my first glimpse of Konoha.

It was just a flash of a street with shops and people before we were up the side of a building and jumping rooftops.

Kakashi turned back to me again and mumbled something about 'high' and 'speed.' The only thing that would be faster than a ninja running like this, is a ninja using shushin.

"Shushin?" I asked hopefully and got a swift nod in return, I squealed again. Taking that as a yes, Kakashi initiated the technique. _Without any seals._

Imagine my surprise when everything warped and my breath was taken away. Just as quickly as it started, it ended.

Opening my eyes that had been shut, I peered around. We were standing in the front of a giant ass building. Well it was obviously big here as it towered over everything else. It was small compared to the buildings I had seen up at Sunshine Coast. **(Queensland, wet 'n' wild, etc for you geography retards)**

I slid of Kakashi's back and wobbled slightly, the ninja asking if I was okay. I waved him off with a grin and an exclamation of again. I don't think he understood the word, but I could tell he understood the meaning.

He patted my head and stood up with a smile as he stared towards my right. Turning I saw not-Naruto-clone and not-Sasuke-clone gasping for breath as they sprinted towards us.

They didn't look up as they sprinted for their goal, eyes widening I tried to get out of the way, with no avail.

They slammed into me full speed and my eye sight was blocked by a swirl of orange, blue and a clashing of limbs. A shoulder ploughed straight into my...chest and I nearly cried from the pain. Then someone's foot took mine out and with the combined force of the shoulder I went down. Hard.

I could feel a lot of weight land on my already sore chest, I couldn't stop the small whimper and the start of tears. Someone muffled the whimper by slamming across my face. My head cricked painfully and I retaliated with a bite to the persons arm. A yelp from above meant I had hit my target.

I snarled softly, fuck this! I could feel the old anger come spiking back and I roared as I thrashed around. I bit, scratched, punched and kicked whatever body part stood on my wrath.

Finally Kakashi intervened and I felt the weights dragged off me. I gasped for air and tried my hardest not to cry at the pain I could feel on my chest and face mainly.

Someone put an arm behind my back and helped me up. I grinned weakly at Kakashi as he supported me while I stood upright. I merely glanced at the two sulky boys before Kakashi distracted me. _"Daijobu desu ka." _

Not that, anything but that!

It was too late as I felt the tears well up at that question, anyone who knew me fucking _knew_ not to ask me if I was okay! It just took me a moment to grit my teeth and push the pain aside. That all fell to shit as soon as anyone asked me that question.

I could see Kakashi's panicked look as the tears began to fall steadily.

"NOO I'M NOT FUCKING OKAY! I'M STUCK IN KAMI KNOWS WHERE, BUT OH WAIT I DO KNOW! I'M IN A PLACE THAT IS FUCKING FICTIONALLY AND HE!" I pointed at the surprised Sasuke, "JUST VIOLATED ME BY PRETTY MUCH BADLY GROPING MY BOOBS!" I grabbed my chest and gestured towards Sasuke before moaning, "I'm done. I am 100 percent done!"

I fell back into a star pose on the ground, "what is life?" I asked jokingly, I used to always do that to annoy my friends, back home.

My lip quivered slightly as I realised a death god had sent me here, you don't just find a death god to send you home again!

An anxious face appeared in my peripheral vision, _"daijobu desu ka?" _Asked Naruto.

My fist made acquaintances with his face and I sighed as I stood up. "Much better now." I then laughed at the melodramatic blond that was rolling on the floor.

Laughing still I helped him up before tilting it upwards. There was a scuff mark on his left cheek where my fist had met his face; impulsively I gave a dramatic kiss to his cheek. "Mwuah," I said and patted his face, "all better!"

I rubbed his stupefied face before I turned to Sasuke. "Mwuah?" I asked innocently as I gestured towards him, he scowled and turned his head.

I stuck my tongue out at him before turning to an amused Kakashi, "ike?" I gestured at the stairs that led up the side of the Hokage tower.

He smiled before pushing me forward, I skipped up the stairs before turning to face the village. A labyrinth of streets and houses spread out below me. The buildings may not be as high as the buildings in Sydney, but they easily covered around half of its area.

I spun around and craned my neck around the tower and gasped at the sight I saw. The Hokage monument was even more amazing and beautiful then the manga or anime made it out to be! There was the First, Hashirama. The Second, his brother Tobirama. The Third, Sarutobi. The Fourth, Minato, Naruto's father. And the Fif-There was no Fifth. No Tsunade staring down at all.

I turned back to see the three males of Team Seven staring at me, I should've realised from the way that Naruto and Sasuke were dressed. Naruto in his orange and blue jumpsuit, and Sasuke still in his blue shirt with white shorts. That also meant that I was here before the final round of the Chunin Exams!

I grinned at them before ushering them ahead. I stared at Sasuke's hair as he walked in front. It was bobbing up and down, like a duck's butt was bobbing on a pond. I stifled a laugh at that, but obviously Sasuke heard me. He turned back with a glare and I couldn't but laugh as the duck's wings (the dude's bangs) flapped like they were irritated.

I pointed at his hair before making a realistic duck noise, "Ahiru," I managed to choke out before quaking again. His face grew red with anger, but I was saved by the beautiful knocking of the Hokage's wooden door.

I smiled at Sasuke before standing next to Kakashi. Where it was safe.

The jōnin looked quizzically at me, but I only quacked in answer. He shook his head but faced forwards as a 'come in' echoed from inside.

Opening the door, Kakashi led in, closely followed by me, with a vibrating Naruto and a trailing Sasuke.

I gazed adoringly at the old man that sat at the desk before me. The Sandaime sat serenely watching us, with his pipe lit and dangling out of his mouth.

"Ojii-san!" Cried a happy Naruto as he waved frantically at the Hokage, Sasuke slapped the back of his head to quiet him down. At Naruto's indignant shout the Hokage chuckled, he began to speak to Kakashi in a slow, deep voice. It sounded just as grandfatherly as it did in Sub.

I saw him glance briefly at me, but he was absorbed in the conversation he was having with Kakashi. Naruto and Sasuke stood quietly on the other side of Kakashi, but I quickly grew bored and the long and confusing conversation the two were having.

Humming to myself I inwardly laughed at the tune I always hummed, Sadness and Sorrow was a good song to be humming now.

"Don't try to live so wise," I sung quietly, "don't try 'cause you're so right." My amazing skills were interrupted by a soft cough. Embarrassed slightly I looked up to see everyone in the room looking expectantly at me.

I shrugged at them, but was saved when the Hokage beckoned me. I walked around the desk and turned around at his command. A hand began to pull my shirt up at the back, but I just blinked. I was a bit more worried when the Hokage undid my bra clasps.

Though I got a real kick when I saw Naruto go red and Sasuke a little pink.

Kakashi cuffed them on the head and made them turn around. Satisfied that they wouldn't peek, he turned back to face us. I glared at him and put two fingers to my eyes and then at him in the universal sign of I'm watching you. Then I spun my finger around, telling him to turn around.

He gave me the puppy eye, but I only glared harder. He sighed sadly but turned around, reading the little orange book he always had.

Feeling my back vibrate I started as I remembered the Hokage was there, and laughing at me. Ducking my head I gestured for him to continue to...undress me?

I held my bra to my chest as the clasp at the back flopped down. I shivered slightly as a wet brush was pressed against my back. Realising he was using fuinjutsu I stayed as still as I could. He speedily wrote characters down my back and I marvelled at the fact this wasn't even a seal master!

The brush disappeared from my lower back and I heard a clap from behind me. With a whisper of, _"__Akutibunisuru," _ the hand slammed against my back and I hissed at the sharp pain that crept up my spine.

The pain hit my brain and intensified ten times, I did something I had only done once before.

I fainted.

* * *

**Kakashi P.O.V.**

I turned as I felt Arisu's chakra plummet into unconsciousness. The girl fell onto the desk and I quickly did up her bra straps before anyone could see anything indecent.

I glanced up to see the Sandaime looking a little worried. "What's wrong?" I blurted out as the boys hustled over.

The Sandaime frowned, "the translating seal was only meant to cause short pain and that wouldn't be enough to make a girl faint. Especially since you say she took pain fairly well."

I stared at the girl currently passed out on the Hokage desk. She suddenly twitched and stirred. I watched as she slowly stood up, that was a short spell of unconsciousness.

Dead green eyes stared at me, but this time I could see a glow of yellow behind them. My heart began to accelerate at the sight of those eyes. Just as I expected, a hissing and cold voice emitted from her mouth.

"Shingami wishes to know who has tried to alter his chosen."

* * *

**Done and dusted.**

**That's pretty much a big leap from barely 2,000 words to like 5,000. Well done me.**

**They say Arisu 'cos that's how she introduced herself like that, trying to be Japanese and all that jazz. **

**The chakra problem will come later, along with Shingami fucking with her brain and the translating seal.**

**Okay any questions about this story or anything I've fucked up, just tell me.**

**_P.S. Akutibunisuru is basically activate._**

**_P.P.S Edited on 4/06/14. That's the fourth of June, not the sixth of April for you Americans._**

**SunMoon Kunoichi out haha!**


	3. Introduction: Team Seven gathered

**Disclaimer: **_Don't own. Don't own. Don't own_

**Warning: **_Alice and her mouth, also some mass confusion. Sakura when she's pissed._

* * *

**Kakashi P.O.V. **

Staring into those dead green eyes with the creepy yellow glow. I could safely safe I was just a tad bit freaked out.

I heard Naruto yelp behind me as Alice's? Gaze drifted over him. Sasuke was also extremely tense behind me, I touched his arm briefly and felt him relax a bit.

"Shingami's chosen?" Inquired Hokage-sama from behind the girl. He was still seated, but staring intently at the girl in front of him. Alice turned at that, she did so with an unnatural grace she hadn't seemed to possess before. She seemed to cock her head at him before she spoke again, "still upon the mantle Hiruzen?"

For his credit, Hokage-sama didn't flinch at all. "You seem to know my name. Are you Shingami or Arisu? Or maybe just a fraud."

Arisu's back was to us and I couldn't make out the facial expression she was making. The whole girl's posture was rigid, but seemed more like a coiled form. She reminded me of a snake, a creature you didn't poke with a ten metre pole.

"Alice is my chosen," she-it stated.

"Alice is her name? What do you mean by your chosen though?" I asked, it turned back to face me. I moved in front of Sasuke and Naruto, I didn't know how dangerous it was.

"She is my chosen. She will fulfil her duties." Again the cold voice seemed to talk with no emotion, like it didn't care about this conversation.

"THAT'S NOT EXACTLY HELPFUL 'TEBAYO!"

If this wasn't a serious situation, I would've palmed my forehead in absolute shame.

"Naruto stop," I spoke to the irate blond even as I kept my eyes on it. **"Alice"** was still looking almost bored, but it was more of a dead look than bored out of my mind.

"What consequences and conditions come with...you?" Asked Hokage-sama, he was picturesquely calm looking, like he was gazing over a tranquil scene. He didn't let any emotion touch his face as **"Alice"** looked at him once more.

"I was last in ethereal form twelve years ago." The first spark of life seemed to come into **"Alice's"** eyes, "I was summoned to devour the soul of the man you called the Yondaime, as well as half of the soul of the great demon. Kyuubi no Yoko resides inside thi-"

"I'm going to have to ask you to stop there," commanded Hokage-sama, "that is quite enough! We know this situation."

I relaxed slightly at this, I was prepared to take Sasuke outside. This was an S-class secret that only Naruto and Hokage-sama could give out freely. I don't know how a simple girl could know such things, unless this truly is the Shingami? I snapped back to attention when **"Alice"** spoke again.

"An S-class secret is it not?" **"Alice's"** head seemed to tilt slightly, "the fact that Kyuubi is still al-"

"ENOUGH!" Roared Hokage-sama, killing intent exploded out from him, I shuddered slightly as the immensely powerful feeling washed over me. I heard and felt Sasuke drop to the ground next to me, shivering. I managed to tilt my head to see Sasuke in the fetal position and Naruto...Naruto was looking scared and...awed? Of course, this was the man he worshipped. A Hokage. I studied the blonds face even as the killing intent continued. He was shaking and looked like he was going to collapse, but he was prevailing. I managed a small smile at that.

I turned my attention to **"Alice."** And felt my mouth drop slightly.

It looked completely unfazed, almost like she was waiting out a child's temper tantrum, It merely stared at Hokage-sama as he glared at her.

"Hiruzen," the amount of raw power in that voice stilled everyone, "enough of these childish games."

And with that, the KI stopped.

Sasuke gasped for breath and shakily stood up. He glared at It, but It merely raised an eyebrow. "Such interesting things humans," **"Alice"** spoke softly, "their souls are so bright. But can be crushed so easily." It seemed to be glazed over in thought, "this human's soul is the brightest I have seen in millennia, treat her well and do not question her life."

Suddenly the glow disappeared from its eyes and **"Alice"** passed out on the desk.

Again.

"Well that was interesting," I broke the silence with a small smile, "shall we go train?"

"WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED?!" Naruto screamed unhelpfully, he leapt around in frustrated circles. That was, until Sasuke smashed him over the head.

"Quiet Dobe," he panted out, still shaky from the KI, "you're too loud."

"Shut up Teme! I saw you drop down on your knees there!" He leaned in slightly, "_bibi neko,_"

Sasuke snarled at him and punched him in the face, I ignored the two in favour of talking to Hokage-sama.

"Well what shall I do with this...situation Hokage-sama?" I stared at the rather frail looking girl that was slumped over Hokage-samas' paperwork. "Kakashi I believe you can just treat this as a mission," he bit into his pipe and slowly lit it. Puffing away at the pipe he glanced at me, "the translation seal will take a moment to settle down. Days at the most, but beware the fact Alice here may lapse into her homeland language."

"If I may ask Hokage-sama," I said suddenly, "where does this translation come from? I had never seen sensei use this seal before." He chuckled at me, "I'm twice as old as Minato was. I have seen several interesting things, let's just say this isn't the first time." He chuckled again like it was a private joke before waving me away. "Those boys need some exercise, so take them down to the training ground along with your new charge."

I bowed and turned to grab the grappling boys, I knew Hokage-sama had just given us a sweetened order in form of a request. We had wasted a fair bit of his precious time, it was definitely time to go.

I slung Naruto over my right shoulder before picking up the rather floppy Alice. I chucked her lightly at Sasuke and smiled at his startled response of fumbling her and giving a small yelp.

Without a warning I put my free hand on his shoulder and performed a seal-less shushin.

* * *

**3****rd**** Person P.O.V.**

Upon arriving at the training ground, Sasuke shrugged Kakashi off with a scowl and slouched to the side, not realising he was still holding a comatose girl.

Kakashi dropped the woozy Naruto off his shoulder and fished out his orange book from his pocket. "Come on guys, it's time for training!"

That seemed to rejuvenate Naruto instantly, "Are we really going to train Kaka-sensei?!"

Kakashi gave a small laugh, "no Naruto, we're going to spend our day falling off this bridge." He gestured towards the red bridge that rested next to the training grounds.

Naruto merely scowled at him and flipped his head to pout, that was, until someone grabbed him in a headlock.

"NARUTO YOU BAKA!" Shrieked out Sakura as she held the choking blond in a headlock worthy of Tsunade. She held the blue head under her armpit and continued to clench and relax her muscles, while shaking him constantly.

"S-s-sakura-chan!" He choked out as he began to go purple from lack of oxygen.

"WHERE THE HECK WERE YOU GUYS! I WAS SITTING HERE ALL ALONE, WAITING FOR YOU RETARDS!" She continued to strangle the blond, who was changing through various interesting shades.

"Sakura don't you think he's had enough?" Asked Kakashi nonchalantly as he continued to read his book. Sakura's head turned around in a jerky manner, "enough sensei?" She asked in a sickly sweet tone, said sensei could sense the danger levels and wisely left his only blond student to die.

"Sakura enough."

The pinkette instantly dropped the blond and turned towards her crush, only to be crushed at what she saw.

"WHO THE HECK IS THAT?!" She pointed at the brunette lying in her Sasuke-kun's arms!

Sasuke glanced down and instantly recoiled at the sight of Alice still in his arms. He dropped her and stepped back, he discreetly wiped his hands on his pants.

Of course Kakashi saw.

'Look at my cute, awkward, anti-social genin,' laughed Kakashi inwardly. 'I'm sure we're going to have an interesting talk about the Kunai and the Shuriken.'

Alice hit the ground with an awkward slump, having been taller than Sasuke, she had her legs practically on the ground already. Unfortunately for her, her head smashed into the ground, face first. Luckily for her, she had finally woken up.

"OH FUCKING HELL!" She howled and grabbed her face, "WHAT THE FUCK? SERIOUSLY THAT REALLY, REALLY HURT LIKE A BITCH!" She continued to roll on the floor as she clutched her face, particularly her nose.

'I don't think the translation seal should be working at this moment,' deadpanned Kakashi.

Alice slowly rolled to her feet before glaring at Sasuke, "dude do you know how fragile this nose is? One more bad knock to it and it's definitely fucked! It won't set right either after I finally break it, so watch it you little shi-"

"Don't tell me what to do," sneered Sasuke **up **at the annoying girl in front of him. He didn't want to admit it, but the girl was slightly taller than him. And it pissed him off.

"Ke, shorty," Alice flicked his nose with a small leer, "whatcha gonna do huh?" Sasuke snarled slightly, "you're not, much taller than me _Yari koi._"

"Softy," she laughed, like I haven't been called that before. And," she grinned at him, "my mum always complains I slouch." She suddenly straightened up and now stood a full head taller than Sasuke easily. "Little boy," she laughed at him before turning towards Kakashi, "yo ero-baka! How come I can speak your language now?!"

Kakashi sighed softly and mumbled about ungrateful brats but complied, "Hokage-sama painted a seal onto you to translate your language into ours and ours into yours."

"So I have google translate in my brain?" She grinned even wider, "awesome!"

"What's googol translate?" Asked a confused Naruto, but Alice just waved him off, "nothing you guys would understand."

"Ummmm sorry, but who are you?" Sakura asked the strange new person uncertainly, she didn't know who this person was, but she had a foul mouth on her. Said girl blinked at her, "wow. Pink hair."

Sakura dipped her head shyly, the kids used to make fun of her unique hair when she was younger, along with her humongous forehead.

"That is so pretty!" Chirped the suddenly closer girl, Sakura started when the girl began to slide her fingers through her hair. "I wish my hair was like this, but mum won't let me dye it!"

Smiling at the weirdly shy Sakura, Alice found she was rather cute and a lot nicer than she expected from the show. Jade eyes blinked up at her, "but you have nice hair as well," spoke Sakura softly.

"Bah it's boring," waved Alice, "I want awesome colours in it like yours!"

Sakura had to disagree there. The girls hair was as long as hers and strangely spiky looking. A rather ruffled looking attempt at a side fringe flopped over her left eye and the other side was tangled in with her hair. The hair was a deep brown colour with odd intervals of blond streaks and, red? What was most interesting about the girl, was her face. Sakura had never seen freckles on someone before, and the light dashing across the girl's nose contrasted well with her bronzed skin. Her eyes were rather lidded looking, a lot like Shikamaru's, but they slanted upwards at the corners. They were a bright green colour, not a soft like hers, but an intense burning emerald green.

"I'm Clostar, Alice Clostar," the girl said brightly with a quick nod of her head. "I've always wanted to say that," she bubbled excitedly.

"What?" said Sasuke, "introduce yourself? Weirdo much." Alice shifted towards him and glared, "har-de-fucking-har ice cube. Spend all night thinking that up genius?"

Before the situation could get out of hand, Kakashi stepped in. "Now, now children, let's not get carried away." Sasuke turned his glare upon him, "I'm not a child Kakashi, and I'm twelve."

"Woah stand back," exclaimed Alice as she raised her hands, "we've got a badass here." She snickered at the pissed off expression Sasuke seemed to now be permanently wearing.

"Teme is always trying to act cool," complained Naruto, "he's not even that amazing!"

"Naruto!" Screamed Sakura, "Sasuke-kun is an Uchiha and was the rookie of our year! He's the strongest genin in the village!"

"Whoop-de-do," drawled Alice, "so he was top of your year." She shrugged, "not like he's the best out of the previous years. I mean, have you even seen any of the other ninjas your age?"

Sakura had no answer for that. Luckily Sasuke did.

"I have the sharingan," and he activated the dojutsu with a smug look on his face. Alice closed in on him and peered into his blood-red eyes, way too far in Sasuke's comfort zone. She stared into his eyes for a moment, until her hands suddenly flashed.

And she did a duel finger pokes to his eyes.

"AARRGGHH!" Sasuke yelled as he dropped to the ground in pain. He quickly deactivated his sharingan to stop the chakra from irritating his eyes. He didn't hear the worried yell of Sasuke-kun from Sakura, he only heard the hysterical laughter coming from Alice.

With a roar he leapt up and tackled Alice into the ground. He struggled with her for a while, but imagine his surprise when he was pinned down and straddled by his opponent. She grinned down at him, "you ninja pride yourselves so much on your fancy taijutsu! You have never really experienced wrestling matches have you? My older brother and I always wrestle, and I always win!"

Sasuke glared up at her with as much hatred as he could muster, this girl...Kami she made him so angry! He hadn't felt this ticked off in a while.

"Awww is baby Uchiha pissy," Alice simpered, "too bad. Man up girly."

Sasuke continued to glare at her, "I think I liked you better when I couldn't understand what you were saying. Kami you're a bitch."

She just laughed again, "damn straight I'm a bitch!" Surprisingly she began to speak in Sasuke's voice, "I like you, I understand you. Kami I'm your bitch."

Sasuke spluttered, "I didn't say that!"

Hearing a strangled sound, the duo looked up to see Naruto on the ground laughing. He pointed his finger at them, "S-s-s-sasuke-teme yo-o-ur face!" He continued to laugh even as Alice rolled off from Sasuke and walked over to him.

"Cut it out," she slapped him upside the head. He let out a short cry and cradled his head, "what the hell?!" She simply put out her arm, he smiled and grabbed it as she pulled him up.

"Uzumaki Naruto dattebayo!" Naruto crossed his arms behind his head and grinned so big his eyes were slits.

"Clostar Alice dattebayo!" She replied in his exact voice.

"Woah how do you do that?" Cried Naruto, Alice rubbed her head nervously, "I can mimic a lot of things. The more distinct sounding, the easier it is for me to mimic. I've been able to do it since I was around eleven years old, so I've been doing it for nearly four years now."

"You're fifteen years old right?" Asked Sakura curiously. "you seem slightly older."

"Hmmmm fourteen soon fifteen," began Alice, "my friends said I look older than I am, but act younger than I am."

"Che, like a five year old," scoffed Sasuke from behind her. Without turning around she replied, "nobody fucking asked you dickwad."

"You shouldn't say that to Sasuke-kun," mumbled Sakura, why did Alice have such a foul mouth?

Alice merely looked at her, "dude this guy is a total tool. Don't tell me you like him, please?" Of course Alice knew Haruno Sakura didn't like Sasuke, she apparently _loved _him. Sakura blushed slightly, "a-ano...ahh.." Alice let out a melodramatic sigh, "girls and their crushes, woe be me."

"So..." began Naruto, "what you're saying is...you're not a chick?"

Alice snorted, "I might as well be a guy by the way I act, people say I'm a guy in a girl's body."

"And that doesn't bother you?" Asked Sakura incredulously, "nope!" Replied Alice cheerfully, "I reply with I wish."

Sasuke rolled his eyes, "you would too." Alice wheeled around, "and how would you know that short stuff? You don't even know me," she then gave a wicked grin, "buuuttttt~ You understand me," she sang in a Sasuke voice.

"That is so creepy," deadpanned Sasuke, "don't ever do that again."

"Buuutttt~ Buuuutttt~" Sang Alice as she danced around him. She continued to chant it even as Sasuke began to make handsigns.

'I should really stop this,' thought Kakashi, 'but it'll be fine.'

True to his word, Sasuke's giant ass fireball missed Alice, but unfortunately set her clothes on fire.

* * *

"Why am I doing this again?" Asked Sasuke as he watched clothes go flying everywhere. "Because your giant ass fireball burnt my favourite pair of shorts," came Alice's reply, "you're just lucky it didn't burn my precious Adventure Time t-shirt!"

"I'm not even going to ask what the hell that is," muttered Sasuke as he watched Alice fling away all clothing that she apparently deemed 'not awesome enough.'

"Where's the ninja section?" She asked suddenly, Sasuke pointed to the left of the shop they were in. The duo was currently in the civilian part of a duel ninja/civilian "department" store.

Alice stalked over to the ninja clothing section, but was stop by a hand on her shoulder. "You can't go in there," glared Sasuke, "it's for ninjas only. I certainly can't see your headband."

"Jeez Sasuke," complained Alice, "live a little!" She continues to brush past him to the ninja articles, "such a rebel!"

Sasuke pressed his fingers to his temples, this girl was the most frustrating brat he had ever met. Loud as Naruto, but with a mouth like a drunkard, she had the most bipolar attitude. Alice seemed all laidback and then BAM! She became a four year old with a sailor mouth.

"No, no, no, no," muttered Alice tonelessly as she flicked through the racks at a high speed. "Where's something black?"

"Going emo?" Smirked Sasuke, "no ice princess," replied Alice. "Unlike you, I'm not going home to slit my wrists and cry about how life is making me its bitch."

And with that, she turned and marched into the changing rooms.

When she finally came out, Sasuke had to say she looked very different. He didn't know if it was good or bad, but it was definitely different.

The fluoro orange shorts had been replaced with black, skin-tight pants that Sasuke knew many kunoichi wore. Unlike the others, they were shorts, not the three-quarter length ones they usually were. She wore the black ninja sandals, but they went up to her shins and were laced rather than strapped. She had a black top on, one that definitely was different. It was strapless and had rather pointed crests, before it dipped low. It was tight around the chest before flaring out into the hips, where it had a small cut at the navel. A leather belt was worn underneath and Sasuke could see she had smuggled two ninja pouches to clip onto her sides. Two black things on either of her arms at the elbow drew his attention. With a jolt her realised that they were her sleeves, just hanging down in there and were joined underneath her armpits. With her chest shown, Sasuke could see a small black cord necklace, it had a ying and yang talisman hanging off of it. To finish the look, Alice was tying her hair up into a really high, left ponytail. Her left fringe was out and looked like it had been fixed up, it jutted slightly up and to the side, brushing her eyes.

"Tada~" She gave a pose, Sasuke merely stared. He then turned away, "they won't let you buy that. You're not a ninja, you don't have a headband."

"That's nice," she hummed before grabbing his arm and dragging him to the counter. "Wha-what the heck!" Sasuke shook her strangely strong grip off him and crossed his arms coolly.

"Can I help you?" Asked the cashier sceptically, he looked Alice up and down, "you're not a ninja so you can't have those clothes." Alice suddenly changed, her whole posture went shy and very withdrawn. "I'm very sorry sir," she said in a polite voice, "Uchiha-san here had offered to buy me things. He is very kind to pity me, I don't blame him for that rogue katon technique, it wasn't his fault." Her eyes were very big and innocent looking, "Uchiha-san is so very kind. I mean, the elite Uchiha is taking pity on me. A civilian hoping to be a ninja!"

Sasuke could only stare at her incredulously, where the heck was the rude bitch he had just been arguing with?

The cashier glanced at Sasuke and his eyes widened almost comically, "Uchiha-san I didn't see you there!" He hurried into the back room and appeared back with a basic ninja kit, "for the girl you so pity." Alice bowed deeply and murmured a heartfelt thank you before turning to Sasuke, "I'm sorry you have to pay Uchiha-san."

Okay what? Sasuke was really confused now, he had to pay for what now? Wha?...

"Oh no Uchiha-san!" Exclaimed the cashier, "you don't have to pay for anything!" He flapped his hands at them, "it's on the house." He bowed deeply to them and Sasuke blankly copied Alice as she too bowed. She smiled softly at the cashier and then turned heel to make her escape.

Once they got outside, Sasuke finally snapped out of his daze. He spun around to the humming girl, "what the heck was that?" She blinked at him, "what do you mean what was that?" Sasuke spluttered slightly and waved his hands around, "what the heck was that soft and polite girl back there! That isn't you! You're a rude bitch!"

"Such a charmer," said Alice dryly, "I said I'm bipolar. It's never actually been proven, but I have habits and emotions that are suppressed until a certain point." She began to wind her way through the crowded streets as Sasuke followed.

"What do you mean by that?" Sasuke shuffled past a fat merchant to get back to Alice. Konoha's streets were always busy in midday.

"I mean that with my mimicking," Alice paused slightly, "I...I...It's hard to explain." She glanced at him with slightly troubled eyes, "the years of mimicking, they have, _affected _my mind. When I mimic habits of people it gets stuck," she tapped her head, "in here they are constantly repeated for weeks and even months. I use the saying or action until it's coded into me, then," she shrugged, "I forget."

"What does that have to do with being bipolar?" Asked a confused Sasuke, "well..." Alice thought for a moment, "I copy _people's _actions and therefore I copy the person themselves. The habits I forget pop up in different situations, back then, a habit popped up. I can't talk to adults that I don't know without being shy or polite." She gave him a sly grin, "though I did twist his little mind slightly with your social stature."

"So you used my name for your gain?" Sasuke deduced and scowled when she nodded. He then looked around, "where are we?" She stared blankly at him, "I thought you knew."

"What!" He cried, "I thought you knew where you were going!" Alice snorted at him, "why the fuck would you follow a foreigner?"

The previously serious mood with shattered and Alice followed Sasuke back to the main part of the streets. She swore she didn't know how they got to the casino part of the Red Light District, but she knew she wanted to try her luck there sometime.

* * *

"Itadakimasu!" Cried out Alice as she began to devour another bowl of absolute deliciousness.

"Ifhs gud isn thit?" Naruto sprayed bits of noodles and broth over Sasuke's twitching face. "Dammit Naruto where are your manners!" yelled Alice, she licked her hand and scrubbed the food off Sasuke's face.

The twitching increased.

"I love the ramen here!" Alice downed the broth of her second bowl of beef ramen. Naruto nodded vigorously, "ramen is the food of the gods!"

A chuckle was heard as a hand put more noodles into their bowls, "on the house. Since Naruto has finally managed to bring a new friend, and a pretty girl." Alice cupped her face and waved her hand, "stop it Teuchi-san you sly dog."

"That is so wrong," sighed Sasuke as he stared into his untouched bowl of vegetable ramen. Suddenly someone leaned **way **to far into his personal space, "you gonna eat that?" Asked Alice hopefully, Sasuke silently slid the bowl over and sighed again, how the hell did he get saddled with this crazy chick?

"More please Teuchi-san!"

Sasuke contemplated if someone could drown themselves in ramen broth.

* * *

"Did everyone enjoy their lunch break?" Asked Kakashi with an eye smile, he sneakily observed their facial expressions.

Naruto looked as happy as usual and decisively full.

Sakura was looking like she wanted to say something to her crush, but didn't exactly know what.

Sasuke looked like he was suffering through hell.

And the foreigner Alice was bouncing like she had seen a giant mound of candy.

Both Sakura and Sasuke were silent, but the resounding shout of joy from Alice and Naruto had shown their approval.

"Well I'm sorry to inform you guys that we have no training on," chirped Kakashi happily, "so before I go I should inform you guys that Alice needs to stay with one of you. She doesn't have anywhere to go and since Naruto lives in a too small apartment, Sakura has no spare bedroom, and I don't want to deal with brats, Sasuke It's joy time for you! Hope you had fun waiting suckers. Later." He then disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Team Seven's mouths dropped open in horror.

"Are," said Sakura.

"You," said Sasuke.

"Freaking," said Naruto.

"JOKING!" They screeched together.

"This is so like Kakashi-sensei!" Ranted Naruto, "I bet he's gone off somewhere to read those damn perverted books of his. Ero-sensei!"

Sasuke fumed silently but looked up when Sakura spoke, "Alice-san are you okay with you and Sasuke-kun...bunking together?" Sakura sent a glance to Sasuke, she didn't want this girl to be with Sasuke-kun. Alone. IN HIS HOUSE!

"_What are you saying?" _Asked Alice in a confused tone, _"what the fuck's happening?!"_

"Dammit," cursed Sasuke softly, "the translation seal must've stopped working. Of course she'd cause problems on the first day,' he glared at the confused teenager. When she saw him glaring, Alice gave him a fingered salute and stuck her tongue out, _"damn prick."_

"I couldn't understand that," said Naruto, "but I know she just insulted you." Sasuke nodded absently, he turned and began to walk away, "come."

Alice knew by his beckoning hand that Sasuke wanted her to follow him. So with a wave goodbye at the rest of Team Seven, she chased after the Uchiha.

* * *

She silently followed the Uchiha through the town, the sun was setting now and they were on the outskirts of town. The quietness and deserted feeling gave her the creeps, shivering slightly she inched closer to Sasuke. He flicked his gaze over to her, but ignored his shivers. Enjoying her suffering, because all day he had suffered because of her.

He had never had to go have ramen with Naruto before, he always left too early for him to say otherwise. He had never suffered through shopping, he already had clothes made for all his ages. They were hand crafted by the Uchiha civilian merchants before...

He had also never had someone come into his clan compound either than Uchihas.

Opening the slightly creaky gates, Sasuke quickly walked the deserted and bloodstained streets to his house. A sneaky look at Alice showed a solemn face and a slight dose of curiousness. Sasuke gritted his teeth, what did this damn foreign have to be solemn about! This was his clan! His pain! No one understands his burden!

He slid open the front door with more force than necessary, and pushed Alice in roughly when she wasn't fast enough for his liking. She didn't say anything though, and merely followed him as he led her through the house.

He walked into a cold living room, it had a single couch and a lamp. All personal items had long since been taken down by Sasuke. He pushed Alice down onto the dusty couch, "stay. Sleep," he ordered and got a mute nod in answer. The girl curled up in a ball and closed her eyes, Sasuke left her and stormed upstairs. He quickly got ready for bed and threw himself onto his bed, he sighed heavily before closing his eyes and going to sleep.

* * *

It was definitely late at night. Sasuke had woken up with a memory of _Him._ He padded through the concrete corridors and made his way to the kitchen.

After splashing water on his face, Sasuke drank some water to calm his nerves. After breathing for a few minutes he felt himself ready to go back to sleep.

He began to walk back to his room, but he stopped in the doorway of the dark living room. Letting his eyes adjust to the darkness, he scanned for Alice. Seeing a small bundle on the couch he quietly ghosted over.

She was tucked into a small ball and shivering uncontrollably. Sasuke was used to the cold of his home, but he did admit that the living room was one of the coldest parts of the house. It didn't help she was only wearing her extremely short clothes.

Sighing he went to the cupboard and pulled out a blanket, throwing it over the girl, he turned and went back upstairs to sleep.

* * *

**Bloody done!**

**Thank Kami that took forever! I stretched that over a fair few days and I'm so happy it's done. **

**Yes Alice will continue to swear that much, she's like a female Hidan in that sense, but whatever.**

**Kari Yoi means softhearted, meek, limp, etc, etc.**

**Any questions just ask!**

**Bye!**


	4. Act 1 Part 1: The Awakening

**Mimic chap 4**

**So uh, hi.**

**I'm here to deliver a chapter, as well as other stuff. I'm leaving for two weeks this weekend and I'll come back in the hols. I have a new laptop that is my own, you know what this means? TWO WEEKS WORTH OF WRITING 'COS I'LL BE BORED! Enjoy the temporary silence of me not being here, then wait for the mass of chapters, mwahahaha!**

**On another note. Several beautiful people reviewed this lame ass story, hugs and kisses for you guys! I've had people ask will Alice actually be a ninja? Have fun waiting suckers, mwahahaha!**

**On with the story!**

**Disclaimer:** _Wish I could, but I can't_

**Warning: **_Language, sassy Alice and strange Kakashi_

* * *

**Alice P.O.V.**

I came into consciousness with a tired yawn. I rubbed away the bleariness in my eyes and sat up with a groan.

I fucking hate mornings.

I stumbled out of my bed and went to go into the bathroom that was straight ahead…..Only to smack into a wall. I blinked again and turned around to go to the kitchen. Except there were no stairs to get there.

A bit more awake, I realised that this definitely wasn't my house.

"Where the fuck am I?" I muttered as I glanced around the creepy, still dark living room I was in. The couch I had slept on had a blanket lying on it, a black in the poor light. Creeping closer I noticed a stitching in the corner. A red and white table tennis paddle. Not wait, sorry, that was the Uchiha clan symbol. Which was a fan…..I just insulted the most prestigious clan's symbol. Oops.

I snorted as I remembered yesterday's events, good memories.

I shuffled into the open doorway and glanced back and forth along the equally dark hallway. The floorboards were cold on my feet as I crossed into what was obviously the kitchen. It was a brighter colour due to the white and the glimmer of the rising sun.

"Fucking almost-insomnia," I cursed lightly. Normally I got up a few minutes before my six fifty alarm in the morning, but I usually _woke up _at bloody dawn and before. Joy time for me, it was seemed like summer here and that usually meant earlier sunrises. I estimated it was about four thirty to five in the morning.

Yay.

I continued my self-depressed shuffle to Sasuke's cupboards, when I opened them I groaned. What the hell was some of this food? I just stared at the packets of food that had katakana and bloody kanji written all over them. I stared at the packets for a while before picking one up and sniffing it. Before sneezing at the strong smell of Jasmine coming from it, I stared at the packet and slowly deciphered the barely remembered katakana it held. Jasmine tea huh? I shrugged and tossed it onto the wooden panel counter, why you would have something so flammable in the kitchen, I did not know.

I continued my merry search for food and hit the jackpot when I found an extremely ancient and forgotten tub of instant udon. Nearly its due-by-date, but it seemed okay. I was just a bit sad it wasn't ramen and it didn't have BBQ pork.

I looked around before I found, surprisingly, an electric kettle. Well I had seen Naruto use it before in the episodes and Sasuke was an orphan, he probably couldn't cook too well for himself. I poured water in it from the sink and settled myself down with a barely used cup filled with the Jasmine leaves. I always wanted Jasmine tea or Green tea!

When I heard the kettle begin to whistle, because it just _had _to be old-fashioned, I took it off its power source and poured it into the tea. Opening the top of udon and throwing the flavouring packets in, I prepared to pour the water in when a hand stopped mine.

Shrieking slightly I threw my whole body back in a spastic flailing movement. The persons hand let go when the water splashed slightly on it. Of course without the support from the persons grip, I jerked back even more and flung the _boiling as fuck _water up at myself.

The water splattered against my arm and up on my right cheek, I hissed slightly and fumbled the kettle before deciding to drop that god awful bitch.

"Son of a gun," I cursed as I studied the red that was slowly coming out against my whole arm and I could feel it coming out on my face. I shook the arm to distract myself and began to hum slightly hysterically as I tried to distract myself.

"What the hell where you doing?!" Asked Sasuke angrily as he spun me to face him. He grabbed my arm none too gently and began to inspect it. "It's your fault for scaring me dickwad," I said grumpily, "who actually grabs someone's hand! One that is holding fucking boiling water!"

He scowled at me, "I didn't want the stink from that crap," he pointed at the innocent cup of Udon, "floating everywhere through my house!" I stuck out my bottom lip, "poor baby Uchiha is now a house wife? Wifey is scared of getting shim's beautiful house all dirty from the commoner filth?"

He flicked my ear, "if I'm the wife you're the husband since you keep screwing around and doing nothing!" He then looked thoughtful for a moment, "did you just call me a shim?"

"Yep," I chirped. "you're a she and a him at the same time!" He rolled his eyes, "aren't you in pain from being burnt by boiling water right now?" I whimpered, "I was keeping my mind of that duckass!"

I could feel the pain that was at the back of my mind come rushing straight to the foreground. It was practically screaming, 'Alice! Alice! You're in severe pain right now! Suffer bitch, suffer! Feel thy boiling water wrath!'

I admit that I'm a bit of a baby sometimes, but luckily I had been burnt several times at home and at work. I knew what to do. I bent my elbow up to my face and began licking it lightly, saliva was just as good as cold water and I always felt better when _I _was the one healing myself.

"Stop doing that!" Scolded Sasuke as he yanked my arm from my face, "yes mother," I said dully. He glared at me before poking strangely gently at the wound. "Don't put your disgusting germs all over it," he began to press his cold fingers against the wound. I relaxed slightly at the cold that radiated from his fingers, Sasuke's hands were nice and cold. "Your hands are as cold as your heart Icy," I joked as he continued to inspect the burn. He hummed slightly before dropping my hand and going over to the timber cupboards to rummage through them.

"If you're going to get painkillers don't bother," I called as I began to lick the burn again. I could feel the pain ebbing away slightly, I would be fine in about an hour, that's usually when the healing process really took hold. I laughed at my wimpiness, "this is nothing compared to what I got last year," I commented aloud. "I flipped a motorbike while it was in second gear. I skidded along the ground at around thirty kilometres per hour with the bike on top of me, I broke the clutch off while I was at it! I was a dumbass and didn't wear a jacket, I got the most insane grass burn up my left forearm! It took two months to heal to this scar." I was rambling at this point and waved my other forearm at the busy Sasuke to show him the nearly invisible scar there.

Sasuke didn't bother to answer my rambles as he got tablets out of a large wooden box with other medicines, what was with Uchiha's and their bloody wood? He advanced towards me with a very suspicious looking white tablet, I told him so as he tried to make me eat it. He scoffed that I was an idiot and continued to try and open my unyielding mouth, as if he could move my super powered jaw!

"I'm not eating it!" I said stubbornly as I turned my head away from the _obviously _suspicious tablet. He growled slightly, "you will take these damn tablets or kami help me…" I narrowed my eyes at him as I discreetly crept my hand towards the pocket in my ninja (oh yeah!) shorts. I played with the box before sliding it open slightly, "I will set you on fire if you don't stop," I declared. He scoffed again, "you and what katon jutsu?"

I smirked at him before flicking the match I held against the matchbox in my pocket, I brushed the tiny flame against Sasuke's really flammable pyjama shirt. Which by the way, was grey…boring little boy isn't he?  
He yelped and dropped the tablet before slamming his hands against the flame that was creeping up his sleeve. When he successfully put out the flame he turned back to me, "what the hell was that for you psycho bitch! Where did you get the matches from?!" I grinned knowingly before tapping the innocent looking box in my hands, "my friend's pyro habits have rubbed off on me. Kami bless that psychotic, pyro!"

I could see that Sasuke was looking a bit freaked out about my friend, but hey, he was totally awesome! He could make heaps of explosives and he showed me a video of the actually legal fireworks they had set off. It was beautiful. He was pretty cool, except for when he nearly blew his fingers off. Fail.

"What's your friend like?" Asked Sasuke curiously, I smirked at him, "what's with all the questions princess?" "What's with all the stupid names?" He shot back, "touché," I quirked my eyebrow at him, "but why would I tell you what my friends are like?" I walked calmly out the door sipping the tea I grabbed, "you're a ninja are you not?" I turned slightly back to glance at Sasuke, "killing unknown targets is what you're bred for no?"

I continued to sip my tea as I walked to the couch I had woke up in.

* * *

The tea I had was really good and normally I don't like tea all that much. I ignored the cloud of happiness next to me in favour of glancing around the streets we were walking through. Konoha was a very large village, what was equivalent to a village back home was some huts in the middle of nowhere in some random rainforest. Not bloody Los Angeles with its low rise buildings, but large acre coverage and dense population!

Several merchants were crying out their early morning wares as sleepy looking civilians began to make their way to work. Everyone seemed to walk here, not like they had a choice, there didn't seem to be any mode of transport except for the occasional horse-drawn cart. It was a nice change from the long walk to school from the train station that I did in the morning, with its disgustingly polluted streets and cars everywhere! I hated human beings sometimes.

Sasuke and I continued our silent (and slightly awkward) walk to Team Seven's training ground. Why we were leaving at six thirty in the morning, I did not know. I knew that Sasuke was a fucking moron though. I stifled a yawn as we crossed the boundary of trees that surrounded the grounds, honestly there was a path here! Why would we walk through the trees! Sasuke was definitely insane.

"Why are we here so early girlie?" I asked a still brooding Sasuke as he leaned against the tree I was now sitting under. I fiddled with the still dewy grass as I crossed my legs, waiting for Sasuke's answer, but it never came. I huffed, irritated before deciding to do my stretches. I usually did stretches for flexibility after I did some sort of training, but since it was morning and no training, I'd have to find something to do.

I stood up and began to shake my limbs to get the blood running, I slapped up my legs to warm them up as well. I did a few simple leg stretches before some arm stretches, I could feel Sasuke's curious gaze on me but I didn't turn around. I huffed out a breath before cracking my neck, I began to run around the outside of the grounds. I kept my usual long distance running pace and sang songs in my head so I could focus on something either than my burning legs and lungs.

'_Disappointment haunted all my dreams-_

_And then I saw her face, now I'm a believer! Not a trace, of doubt in my mind. I'm in love!_

_Ooohhhh_

_I'm a believer, I couldn't leave her if I tried.'_

I snorted slightly at my apparent song choice, smash mouth was awesome. Good old songs from my childhood!

I slowly began to finish my tenth lap after about fifteen minutes, at the last hundred meters, I sprinted. I was an awful sprinter unless my life and dignity depended on it, so I felt like a retard as I tried to pick up the pace on my tired limbs. I slid to a stop and instantly began to do breathing exercises to get my breath under control. Thank god for swimmer lungs, if I didn't do so much swimming, I would easily suck even harder at running than I did now.

"Damn mum and her awesome running skills," I grumbled as I walked briskly to the centre of the sort of oval. I stood in front of the three posts that I knew Team Seven first met at. I believe the posts were for practising punches and kicks on it, to strengthen the skin around the appendages or something.

Pshhh, like I'm gonna do that!

I hoisted myself onto the top of the middle log, I then flipped myself around and lay on my back across the middle one and the right one. I shifted myself back until the upper half of my body was perpendicular to the ground. I hooked m feet around the far left log and began to do sit ups. Normally I did special ones against my wardrobe at home (my room was tiny! Shut up!), but this would have to do. The distance to get to my feet was bigger than usual, the fact my legs were straight meant I could stretch the tendons at the back of my knee. The posterior cruciate ligament if I recalled from mum's nurse talk, it connected to the hamstrings which meant they could tighten and tear if not stretched well enough.

I did my rep of fifty before getting up and lying on my front, I pushed my arms up and began to do my rep of fifty push ups. I was panting and sweating by the time I finished them, I _gracefully _fell off the logs and lay there on my back. I stared up at the drifting clouds for a moment, I was already tired. Tch weak!

I grunted as I pushed myself up, I quickly did twenty jump ups, which consisted of jumping up, then instantly dropping into a push up and then jumping up again. I could only handle twenty if I didn't want to be tired for the training that was sure to come later on.

I finished the rep and let myself drop back down to the ground, sitting on my bum with my legs outstretched, I curled my hands around them as I leant forward. This was the start of my twenty to thirty minute stretching session, and normally it was a lot better if I had my music to listen to.

'_So now I'll ask, do you like that, do you like that?_

_NNNOOOOO!_

_Something's getting in the way.  
Something's just about to break.  
I will try to find my place in the diary of Jane.  
So tell me how it should be.'_

I bobbed my head along to the song inside my head, some good, hard core rock was what I really needed right now. I wish I had my iPod, but I never brought it into my bag for work. Damn! I had left my bag back at Sasuke's, oh well.

I slowly began to wind down my stretches before preparing for the acrobatic part. Normally I would only do splits, but I had plenty of room and soft grass to break my fall. I slowly began to drop down into the side splits, it hurt a lot, but I manages to get the entire way down again. I grinned and whooped, point for head bitch in charge!

I rolled out of the splits since I couldn't get _up _out of them yet. I did some more stretches on my arms and hands before standing up. I rolled my shoulders before tilting back, I leant back until I finally let myself drop into a bridge. I grunted as I landed but remained stable, I swung myself back and forth slightly until I popped up into a handstand. I held myself there for five seconds until I felt myself collapse, I rolled with it easily since I couldn't get out of a handstand any other way.

I jingled my arms slightly before going for a run up, I hoisted myself into a handstand before going straight into a bridge from it. I felt my arms groan, but they held well. Today was a good day for me! I rolled out of it again and panted slightly, I could feel my arms shake as I tried to get up. I wobbled as I pushed myself up, I stopped though when a hand was thrust into my face. I looked up at the stoic face of Sasuke, I grinned at him before letting myself be hoisted up. I hissed slightly when I felt the still healing arm twinge in pain, I looked up to see Sasuke staring at me superiorly. I hit him in the arm before looking him up and down.

"You look like a relatively good weight," I commented as I continued to study him. He shifted slightly, "where are you going with this weirdo?" I punched him again in the arm, "I just wanted to do some strength stuff and it can only be done with a partner!" He glared at me suspiciously, "where are you going with this?" I grinned at him, "you'll see!"

* * *

**Third person P.O.V.**

"C'mon Sakura-chan! One date after this training session!" Naruto yelled out to an already grumpy Sakura as they walked along the dirt road that led to their training grounds. "NO NARUTO YOU BAKA!" She shrieked as she ploughed a fist into his face, he made a funny yelp as the weirdly strong fist smashed into his face. He bounced along the road once or twice before lying with his head in the ground as he twitched. Sakura growled at his comatose form before stomping down the path, Naruto was recovered and instantly at her side in less than a second.

For her credit, Sakura simply ignored Naruto as they entered the training ground from the east side. They began to look for their brooding teammate as they walked towards the tree they normally sat under. Naruto was the first to spot him.

He began to snicker, "look at Sasuke-teme go!" Sakura instantly spun around at the mention of her crush, only to gasp in horror.

Sasuke was standing in the middle of the training grounds with his arms up, a little strange, but that could be overlooked. What Sakura couldn't overlook was that girl Alice doing a handstand on top of his upturned palms. They were both shaking with effort, but Sasuke actually looked….._pleased._

He had a smirk playing around his mouth as he looked up at the upside down girl's face, he had his mouth moving as he _talked. _Sakura definitely felt horrified, and pissed.

"Sasuke-kun!" she called out across the grass. Both Sasuke and Alice turned their heads to see who was yelling out to Sasuke, unfortunately that overbalanced them. Sakura winced and Naruto laughed as the two fell to the ground. Sasuke was lucky enough to only fall back, Alice was unlucky enough to smash her head into the ground. She seemed to do a headstand for a moment, until the rest of her body finally caught up. Her legs flew over and she did a face plant forward. Lucky for her, Alice's landing was softened, unlucky for him, Sasuke's gut got a duel kick to it.

Sakura could almost hear and feel the grunt of air that was pushed out through Sasuke's lips. She hurried over to her teammate to help him in any way she could. After pushing off the girl's legs, Sakura tried to help Sasuke get up. _By leaning over him and continuously asking if he was okay. _

"Fucking hell," groaned Alice as she sat up, she rubbed her head and glanced around for Sasuke. Seeing he was in the clutches of a rabid fangirl she shrugged, "he'll be fine!" She then looked around for the source of the hysterical and choked sounding laughter. Her eyes settled on the orange form of one Uzumaki Naruto as he rolled around the floor laughing, "brings the meaning of ROFL to life," grinned Alice as she stood up. She walked over and none too gently kicked the blond, "shut up shorty, I'll bet you've done heaps of fails like that!"

Naruto stopped laughing and glared at her slightly before puffing up his chest, "the great Uzumaki Naruto would never do something so stupid dattebayo!" Alice snickered before speaking in a goofy sounding version of Naruto, "I am the great Uzumaki Naruto and I like ramen dattebayo!" Naruto frowned at her, "hey! That was mean!" Alice laughed nervously, "yeah sorry 'bout that. I can be a real bitch sometimes!"

The two sat and stood in an awkward silence, suddenly Alice clapped her hand, "well this is awkward and every time there is an awkward silence a gay baby is born. By the way we're going, we could populate the planet with gay people!" Naruto stared at her suspiciously, "where's your proof?" Alice simply waved her hand dismissively, "how did you expect Sasuke was born?"

There absolute silence for a moment, "you think I'm gay?" Asked Sasuke incredulously as he blinked at the grinning brunette from where he was still in a sort-of-but-not-really-and-not-wanting-it-embrace. She simply shrugged and bounced over to Sakura and Sasuke, "up, up, up! Let's face the day and get started!" She began to hop from foot to foot in her excitement, Sasuke gladly popped that bubble. "You do realise that Kakashi will be another hour since he doesn't care about this training?"

Sakura agreed with her crush (not like there's any surprise), "Kakashi-sensei is always late!" Naruto decided to throw in his two cents worth by nodding vigorously in agreement with his teammates.

"Aawww it hurts to realise you guys don't trust me," drawled out a voice from the tress behind them. The three kids and one pretty-much-teenager (although not in behaviour), turned around to see Kakashi casually slung along the branches of one of the trees. He didn't have his usual book in his hand, instead they were fiddling with a small scroll in his hand.

"WOAH KAKA-SENSEI EARLY FOR TWO DAYS IN A ROW!" Screamed out Naruto as he waved at the lazy jounin. He eye smiled at Naruto before sliding down, "if you check the time," he said slyly, "you'll see I'm late by two minutes." Alice laughed at Naruto's annoyed expression, "new record ero-sensei!" Kakashi sighed, "you didn't forget that last night?" She merely shook her head.

"What are we doing today Kakashi-sensei?" chirped Sakura as she smiled sweetly at her sensei, too sweetly.

'**CHA YOU BETTER NOT FLICK US OFF AGAIN ERO-BAKA!'**

Sakura internally agreed with her inner, Kakashi-sensei would pay if he flicked them off again!

"Hmmm well you guys will be doing laps as I take Alice-chan here to see Hokage-sama again!" Said Kakashi cheerily as he walked towards Alice. "Eww it's now Alice-chan you sick little pervert!" Cried Alice as she struggled under Kakashi's grip, he had grabbed her shoulders so she couldn't get away!

"Dammit Kakashi train me!" Snarled Sasuke as he glared at the aloof jounin. He got a shrug in answer, "I've got to take Alice-chan here to see Hokage-sama!" Sasuke switched his glare to the brunette, "great ero-fucking-baka!" Cursed Alice, "now you've got emo boy mad at me!" She shifted to look at him quizzically "if you're such a great jounin, why don't you just use kage bushin?"

Honestly Kakashi could've slapped himself in stupidity, but that wasn't cool. So he made a quick ram seal, and grabbed Alice again before she could escape, as a copy of him appeared. He eye smiled at his students, "I'll see you all soon!" Alice gnawed at his hands, "let me go! I can feel that something bad is gonna happen! You better not fucking rape me! I swear to Jashin I will set you on fir-"

The rest was cut off as the duo disappeared in a puff of smoke.

"Well that was interesting," muttered Naruto as they snapped out of the stupor caused by seeing their sensei kidnap a girl. The other two nodded in agreement before turning back to the Kakashi-clone…..only to see it holding a rather large whip. He cracked it at them, "run my mutts run!"

* * *

**Strange controversial Kakashi with his strange habits and his strange way of kidnapping young girls. Anyway this will be the last chapter in three weeks unless I can find wifi somewhere in the heart of hell. **

**Have fun chickadees!**


	5. Act 1 Part 2: Fire and Ice

**Here it is. **

**The start of the (hopefully) flood. **

**I have been waiting so long for this….so here we go!**

* * *

**Disclaimer: **_Naruto won't be mine! *cries*_

**Warning: **_Language and gangbang no jutsu (jokes-(or really?))_

* * *

**Alice P.O.V.**

"No fucking gangbang! No gangbang!" I was not going to be raped by stupid ero-sensei! No way at all!

"Alice-chan will you stop struggling?" Asked the pervert himself. I glared at him as he grabbed lower down my arms and hoisted me over his shoulder, "un!" I grunted as his incredibly bony shoulder dug into my stomach, "where the hell are we anyway?" I stared at the swaying, dirt ground of the main streets of Konoha as I waited for Kakashi-sensei's answer.

"Hmmm we're nearly at the Hokage-sama's office, I just thought we could take a little walk before we got there." I gave a dry laugh, "you just wanted to be late didn't you?" He hummed and kept walking, completely ignoring me that bastard!

I went into a daze as I stared at the ground, it was as close to daydreaming as I could get when I had a shoulder planted into my gut. I always daydream so it was so easy to just drop into the hazy state I normally go in, except, something was different. Instead of the calmness that descended over me and the usual fuzziness that went over the real world. Coldness began to make my hair on my head stand up, it slowly trickled down my back and I began to shiver. I could feel my heart begin to beat loudly throughout my body and it really, really hurt!

I snapped out of my stupor with a gasp, I was shaking and sweating, definitely not good.

"Alice?"

I stared up at Kakashi-sensei's worried face and did the most pitiful sound I have ever made. Seriously, it was like a mewl of a kitten along with a sort of whining noise like a kicked puppy. Kakashi-sensei blinked and we were instantly transported in a swirl of blurring colour, this time, shushin didn't make me feel too good. I thought I was going to throw up as we landed on the rooftop outside the Hokage's office. Kakashi-sensei jumped through the open window with me pathetically flopping on his back, a great look for me.

"Oh Kakashi, is Alice-chan there with you?" I could hear the deep voice of Sarutobi talking to Kakashi-sensei, but I couldn't see him. "Will everyone stop calling me Alice-chan?" I slurred as I tried to lean over Kakashi-sensei to see Sarutobi, obviously I didn't go to well.

"What has happened to her Kakashi?" Asked Sarutobi, "she looks awful. Alice-chan do you need a nurse?"

"I need Panadol," I moaned, "I need sleep." I felt Kakashi-sensei's grip slacken and took the chance to slide out of his grip. I collapsed on the ground and rolled until I hit something wooden, I dragged myself onto the chair and face planted onto the desk.

"Are you quite alright there?" Sarutobi had an amused voice as he gazed at me.

I put my head up slightly, "hmmm…yes." I sat up fully and tried to blink away the throbbing headache that was building behind my eyes, "Hokage-sama?" His eyes bored into mine, "Alice-chan…do you understand what is going on?"

I felt my brow furrow as I thought,

Kissed by a death god

End up in a world that is not real…_at all_

Happened to end up with Team Seven

Mind fucked by kami-knows-what

"Uh no."

Sarutobi leaned forward and steepled his fingers, "can you tell us what just happened to you then?"

I shifted nervously, "uhh I'm not too sure, but I'm pretty sure I have psychological damage. I believe I don't have brain damage since I haven't hit many head on anything and got a concussion." I hummed thoughtfully, "I often daydream and I have gotten quite good at it. I am able to block out everything, but the images of what I am seeing in my mind. I do that every time I don't have to be focused on anything, but this time it was different." I took a deep breath and tried to think about what had happened.

"I began to go into the usual daze, but then it was almost like…a cold..something trailed down me, it was really frightening and dark tasting. Do you know when you almost fall down something or get a really big shock? Well it was like that, tingly feeling and your heart suddenly pumps loud enough to feel it throughout your body. Not a nice feeling.." I trailed off and looked at Sarutobi seriously, "what is wrong with me?"

Sarutobi sighed and grabbed his pipe, filling it with tobacco and lighting it. He puffed on it and began to speak, "do you remember the first time you came into my office?" Rolling my eyes I replied, "yeah that was yesterday, I'm not senile." A hand cuffed my head and I turned to glare up at Kakashi-sensei, before wincing as my headache spiked again.

Sarutobi luckily chuckled, "yes well yesterday I placed a seal on you did I not?" I brushed a finger against my spine, "yeah it is useful, but a bit unreliable. Why is that?"

"Well Alice-chan it was quite.._interesting _when we met your…"

"Tenant," Kakashi-sensei chipped in helpfully.

"What the hell are you talking about?" I queried. "I am Alice and nobody else!"

A hand pulled on my shoulder and Kakashi crouched down to my eye level, "Alice-chan it's hard to say this."

I scowled at him, "just move your mouth and use that voice of yours."

Kakashi-sensei's hand cracked my head again, "son of a-!" Another hand slapped my head, I scowled at him again, "continue then!"

"Yes well when Hokage-sama placed the seal on you it is only meant to cause a momentary pain." Kakashi frowned slightly, "instead you go and pass out on us!"

I growled at him, "as if I would make myself pass out! I had no clue what happened to me, but I just assumed nothing had happened. I trusted you! Now your saying something did happen and it has something to do with something fucking living inside me or some crap!"

I was shaking in rage, I had been ready to ignore that something had happened. There was a blank part in my memory then and I felt extremely weird when I had apparently come to. But I was prepared to ignore it because I had _trusted _Sarutobi. Why didn't I remember that I trust no one! This was absolute bullshit!

"Alice-chan," said Sarutobi gently, "how did you get here?"

I blinked, so he knew I wasn't from, I guess, this dimension? Universe? And by Kakashi-sensei's puzzled look, he didn't know. I sighed, "I was walking home from work…"

I explained how I had foolishly gone to check what the noise was, and ended up getting kissed by Shingami and thrown into darkness. Throughout the explanation, Sarutobi and Kakashi-sensei stayed silent and occasionally nodded, opting to simply listen to me.

"And that's when I woke up in the training field with Naruto and Sasuke being there." I fidgeted with my fingers as Sarutobi pondered over what I had said. "Alice-chan I am not going to beat around the bush here," said Sarutobi, "when I placed a seal on you, you fell unconscious." I nodded, we all already knew that, "your point is?"

"You have a piece of Shingami inside of you."

I blinked and then turned to Kakashi-sensei, "excuse me?"

He gave a big sigh, "when you passed out, you awoke straight away. Only, it wasn't you. You were taken over by the piece of Shingami inside of you and it spoke to us, quite a peculiar thing to experience I may add."

I gazed at the desk in shock, a death god could take over me at any moment? I just..no this couldn't be! I could feel my heart begin to beat faster and breath came in haggard gasps, my hands shook as I grasped my head. This was not right, I don't want to have this! I want to go home, I want to..I want…

_I want you to succeed…_

I shuddered as the raspy voice echoed through my head. It seemed to stroke at my mind and whisper dark things to me. Nausea rolled over me and I could feel bile began to bubble up my throat.

_You are a chosen…..You are my prize._

"GET IT OUT! GET IT OUT! GET IT OUT!" I shrieked, "STOP TALKING TO ME!"

"Alice!"

I heard the shout as I began to claw at my face and ears, I don't want it….I don't want it. I didn't realise I was sobbing until my throat began to clog up and my shirt was wet with tears. "I d-don't wa-ant it."

I felt a chop at my neck and I thankfully sank into oblivion, no more….no more please.

* * *

I slowly made my way to consciousness, my throat was dry and sore, and my nose was also runny. A usual sign of crying. I groaned as I creaked open swollen eyes. Rolling over I tried to get up, but a hand pushed me down, my face pushed into a soft warmth. I turned my head away from the pillow as I tried to breathe. "Who's there?" My voice sounded pathetically weak as I tried to see who was there.

"Tch, Yari Koi how weak."

I grit my teeth, of all the son of a bitches…"Sasuke," I said shortly, I managed to roll around and look at the stoic face of Sasuke. I struggled to sit upright and I leant against the wall the bed was against, "where the fuck am I?"

A scowl came from Sasuke, "Kakashi just waltzed into my house and dropped you into my bed. He said you had passed out, _again." _He said the last part with a sneer, but I didn't talk back, I…..

"Oh Kami," I gasped, "it was real." I could feel tears beginning to gather in the corner of my eyes, crying one after the other was so sad and weak! Except, I had a death god inside of me, it could talk to me and…

I began to hyperventilate again, I choked as I tried to breathe and failed when no air got through the lump that was in my throat. I flailed in the sheets that covered me, everything was too constricting. I didn't have claustrophobia, but it felt like everything was wrapping itself around me and stopping me from breathing.

"Alice snap out of it," a hand cracked across my face and I screamed as I felt the cold presence rearing up. "Stop it, stay back, stay back!" I shoved at Sasuke as the coldness brought in freezing air that seemed to fill up my lungs with icy water.

_Kill him, kill the insolent mortal. He dare touch my vessel, my prize. Kill him and take his soul for us. For us…._

"NO!" I clawed at my face again and felt blood begin to pour down my face as the old scratches opened up again. The coldness spread up my arm and a hand grabbed one that was clawing my face. One of my hands scrabbled at the hand that was so cold it burned to touch, they both slapped against my face and body. I screamed as something warm fell against me, it was so hot! It burned! Fire began to lick at me and it hurt so much to feel the burn of cold and heat battle against each other.

So painful…

* * *

**3****rd**** Person P.O.V.**

Sasuke held onto Alice unsurely as she struggled and screamed. Each scream hurt his ears, but he couldn't do anything except hold her so she wouldn't hurt herself. His arms and chest were burning as cold fire was pressed against him from Alice's body.

_Damn it Kakashi, why did you leave me with this?_

Sasuke didn't know how long he sat there holding Alice, but his arms were tired by the time she stopped. "Are you done having your little tantrum?" Sasuke didn't really know how to handle this situation so he was hoping Alice would retort with something snappy, like normal.

"Sorry for the wait Pretty Boy," she smiled weakly up at him. Her side ponytail was now lank with sweat and her face was marred with long lines of bloody scratches, not a pretty sight. Her fingers brushed against her face, "damn I really did a number on myself." She groaned and stretched her arms out in front, "what the-"

Sasuke discreetly unclasped his arms from Alice and shifted away, "what the hell is wrong with your arms?"

Alice's right arm had the slightly pink mark from the boiling water of that morning, but the rest was a splotchy red. Just like burn marks. Her other arm though, was way worse. It was a mottled pale blue and white, the fingernails were a black colour along with some parts of the fingers. "It looks like," began Sasuke.

"Frostbite," agreed Alice. She gazed at the appendages solemnly and continued to curl her fingers out and in.

"Well it has full mobility on both arms so it should be fine," shrugged Alice as she pushed herself upright more. She shoved Sasuke off the bed and stood up to stretch, "ugghh so stiff."

Sasuke picked himself up with a glare, "geez just push me off my own bed that I let you stay in."

"Yeah that made me wonder," mused Alice, "why did you let me stay in your bed? Last night you left me to freeze in that dungeon downstairs!" She stopped to gaze around the room they were in, "you're a very boring person you know? Everything is dark colours and stuff, how about some orange or nice green?"

Sasuke hit her. "Don't turn into Naruto on me!"

"Oh does Naruto like orange?" Said Alice sarcastically, "I didn't know!"

A scowl was thrown her way, "don't be a bigger bitch," said Sasuke.

A snort came from the moving Alice, "ciao amigo." She skipped out of the room and down the stairs, Sasuke following behind sullenly.

Alice stopped in the kitchen, "so what are you doing home?" She hopped up on the wooden table and swung her legs, "did you have fun with Kakashi-clone?"

"Shut up," said Sasuke, "he let us go home for lunch." He pushed the girl off the table, "don't sit on the table!"

Alice slid off, "then stop changing the subject! Why did you let me stay in your bed? Not to take advantage of me I hope, you're not my type."

"Shut up!" Exclaimed a flustered Sasuke, "you say why you had a breakdown and I'll.."

"Explain why you're so angst ridden?"

"What the hell do you mean?!"

"I mean you're all emo and broody, you couldn't have always been like that."

"I'm not emo!"

"Could've fooled me."

"Oh Kami I will-" Sasuke took a deep breath and calmed himself down, "what I experienced is something you would never relate to." He clenched his fist, "it is my pain and my revenge! I-"

"Don't especially care for this shitty monologue," deadpanned Alice, "get to the point Flower."

Sasuke glared at her, "a person like you would never understand what I feel for _that man, _I am an avenger!"

"Avengers assemble!" Chirped Alice, "always~ we will fight as one, until the battle's won~ "

"What the **hell** is that?" Asked Sasuke.

"How dare you not know!" Gasped Alice, "Thor smite your ungodly, pasty ass!"

Sasuke recoiled, "don't bring my ass into this!"

Obnoxious laughter came from Alice, "you're so cute!" She patted his head mockingly, "now tell me your emo story."

Not after throwing a glare at the laughing Alice, Sasuke began a vague description of how his family and clan was massacred. He looked angry at how his mother and father was killed in front of him. He didn't say who killed them all (*cough*Itachi*cough*), but Alice just sat there and listened, it was different hearing it come from Sasuke's mouth. He finished the story and bowed his head, the two had somehow managed to get up and sit next to each other on the table.

"That does explain the pole up your ass," remarked a quiet Alice. She swung her legs out in front of her and hummed thoughtfully.

Sasuke looked up at her surprised, "so you're not going to say sorry?"

Alice stared at him, "why would I do that? It's useless and annoying for people to say that to those who have lost people. Besides I didn't kill your family, it's not my fault."

The two sat in silence for a moment and stared absently at Alice's swinging feet. Sasuke broke the silence when he turned to Alice, "so why'd you breakdown?"

A heavy sigh came from the brunette, "_apparently, _I'm possessed."

Sasuke choked, "possessed? What are you on?"

Alice glared sullenly at her legs, "I'm not joking! I have a piece of the soul of Shingami himself! Kakashi-sensei and the Hokage told me that when they placed the translating seal on me, the soul took possession of my body for a while."

Sasuke nodded thoughtfully, "that did explain the KI and the way your eyes were yellow."

"My eyes were yellow?" Shrieked Alice, "oh come on!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes, "no, you come on. I'll put some ointment on your face and arms."

Alice grinned as she slid off the table, "so you're not freaked out by me?"

Sasuke turned to her, "you're still a loudmouth bitch," his mouth twitched up in an almost smile before he walked off.

Alice's face broke out in the biggest grin yet,

_Maybe Sasuke isn't a total dickwad._

* * *

**Holy shiznit I am dying here. It went all angsty and I just wanted to stop then, but it took over me. I don't plan this out, I just write in the spur of the moment, so I was surprised when it was all 'omg I have Shingami in me!' *Claw my eyes out.***

**Fuck this is hard.**

**No actually, writing those fucking adorable, touching moments between Alice and Sasuke makes me want to burn my eyes out. The only way to describe Sasuke's actions is glare, sneer, scowl, etc. Writing him say something nice to anyone is **_**wrong, **_**I try and make it realistic, but Sasuke's a dick. Kami kill me now.**

**You guys better be grateful for this absolute hell-raiser.**

**Laters.**


	6. Act 1 Part 3: Team 7 Harmony?

**Nngghhh….I am so fucking done. This writing is actually doing my head in. Had a four hour car trip earlier today and managed to write a five thousand word chapter for my other story, I am sort of, but not really looking forward to this. Sorry in advance if this is shit…**

* * *

**Disclaimer: **_Meh I own this shiny laptop, but I don't own Naruto_

**Warning: **_Fucking language_

* * *

**3rd Person P.O.V.**

"What the fuck are we doing?" Moaned Alice as she followed Sasuke through the streets, she stumbled over a small dog that ran under her feet. "Does everything just run free here? I mean kids just seem to have no rules at all, they can go wherever the hell they want!"

And it was true. Kids were running everywhere. Most were holding wooden shuriken and playing ninja. The game seemed to be played all throughout the streets of Konoha, Alice could even see some kids that had scrambled on the rooftops and were continuing the game there.

"How do you play ninja Mr Chatterbox?" Asked Alice as she excitedly watched a bunch of kids come charging through a clear spot in the street.

Sasuke ignored her question and continued to walk on.

"Fine," huffed Alice, "I'll just ask the cool kids on the block!"

She stepped into the path of the bunch of kids that were running towards her, "excuse me ninjas!" They skidded to a stop and gazed up with happy grins. "What can I do for ya miss?" Asked a gap-toothed boy that was at the front of the pack.

Alice squatted down to his level, "I was wondering if you handsome boys can tell me how to play ninja. You guys seem to be true warriors that know what you're doing!" All of the boys blushed and stuttered, "are you a foreigner miss?" Asked a blond boy as he grabbed onto her hair, "your voice sounds funny."

Alice gave a little chuckle, "why yes I am a foreigner. How smart of you to realise!" She ruffled the blonds' hair and laughed when he blushed even brighter, the other boys all clamoured loudly, "a foreigner? So cool!"

"Well miss," began the blond, "we're on teams and you have to hide, or you're seeking. If you're found, the enemy ninja will attack and kill you with their shuriken!" He showed Alice the worn wooden shuriken they were using, "and then you're dead! Our team is the green team, the other is the blue team, the enemy nin!"

"Oh my it sounds like a fearsome game," grinned Alice, "mind if I play with you guys?" The boys happily exclaimed out and tackled her, "nee-chan's playing!" Alice laughed even harder under the pile of boys that had dog-piled on her, "let's go win the war!"

* * *

Sasuke noticed his chatty companion had finally stopped trying to talk to him. He glanced around bemused, "where the hell could that bitch be?" He did a revolution in the middle of the street to spot Alice, and managed to catch a glimpse of the girls long hair swaying as she walked. The only problem was, she was at least two hundred meters back the way they had come from.

And it was bargain day at the market.

"Are you freaking joking?!" Hissed Sasuke as he began to fight his way through the rush of people, "I ignore her for ten minutes and she decides to gallivant off on a grand adventure!" He growled as a lady smacked him in the face with her purse, "Kami damn this child!"

Frustrated by the lack of progress, Sasuke leapt onto the nearby roofs of the buildings either side of the street. He then made his way along the rooftops, following the street to hopefully where Alice was. Within a minute he caught another glimpse of the girl, and she wasn't alone.

She was laughing as a boy piggybacked on her and another hung of her neck. There were two more on each leg, but that didn't seem to slow her down as another boy guided her by tugging on her long ponytail. A swarm of boys surrounded her and formed a protective cocoon as they rushed out the street and into a plaza.

"We've got a new player!" Called out the blond boy that was leading Alice, the entourage stopped in front of another mob of young boys. Both teams had a distinctive item of colour among them, the team that surrounded Alice had green pieces of clothing strung all over them while the other had blue.

Alice grinned and attempted a wave at the other team, "I'm Alice and I want to learn how to play ninja!"

The blond boy smiled toothily up at her, "yeah nee-chan's a foreigner and she's the best nee-chan ever!"

Alice shrugged disarmingly, "I try my best, but I love the fact you call me nee-chan."

"Can we call you nee-chan too Alice?" Asked a bespectacled boy on the green team, he smiled shyly up at her.

"Off course you can sweetheart," gushed Alice, "as long as I can call you cutie!" The boy blushed and nodded even as the other kids all yelled out that she be their nee-chan too.

"I'll be all your nee-chan's okay?" Alice lowered the boys off her neck and back before gently nudging the boys on her feet off. She straightened up with a grin, "Kaigo here," she looked down at the blond by still holding her hair, "explained to me how to play ninja, is it okay for me to play?"

"Of course Alice-nee!" Chirped a brunette, "but your team is still a player short."

Conveniently Sasuke decided to reveal himself at that moment, "Alice we are going to training now." He walked away expecting the girl to follow him obediently.

As if, this is Alice we're talking about.

"You don't rule me duck-ass," sneered Alice, "go to training and I'll eventually come." She turned her back on the fuming Sasuke, "it's not even my training!"

Sasuke grabbed her shoulder roughly and turned her around, "you said you wanted to be a ninja right? So you need to train!"

"Nee-chan is going to be a ninja?" Asked Kaigo, "nee-chan is so cool!" He then let go off her ponytail to grab her arms, "are your arms bandaged from awesome ninja training?"

Alice managed to cover up the wince that came with the spark of pain from her arms, "not really Kaigo-kun. Sunshine here helped the right arm, but it was something bad that hurt my left, not exactly an awesome ninja am I?"

"Nee-chan is always awesome!" Called out a boy as he hugged Alice's waist, "bad duck-ass is bad!" The other boys yelled out in agreement and glared at an already annoyed Sasuke, "bad duck-ass!"

Sasuke growled, if he was late, there might be the whip again! He rolled his eyes when Alice sent a smug smirk his way, "one game Death boy and we won't be late since Kakashi-sensei is always late! Just chillax and join in on the fun! Be a good nii-san to this cuties."

The boys all took this as a cue to direct puppy eyes at the Uchiha, but it was Alice's huge, emerald eyes that convinced the Uchiha in the end.

"Fine," he sighed. He ignored the giant squeal of happiness that came from Alice, or the hug that she briefly gave him.

"Okay troopers are you ready?!" She yelled out.

"Yes nee-chan, yes!" Cheered the kids, "blue team seeks and green team hides. ONE, TWO, THREE, GO!"

* * *

"I haven't had this much fun with kids for a while," panted out Alice as she leant against the wall she was hidden behind. She turned to her two partners, "how do you think we're going?"

Sasuke grunted, "don't really know, I lost count of the time after we crawled through the vents of that coffee shop. How did you know that was there?" He asked the boy nestled in Alice's lap.

Kaigo gave a grin, "my mummy owns the shop and sometimes lets me play in the shop. I found the vents led outside when I accidentally threw my toy up there." The boys' eyes were temporarily covered by the floppy, green beanie he was wearing to show his team colours.

Alice giggled and pushed it back up for him, "I simply love that beanie of yours!" Kaigo blushed deeply, "I like your headband nee-chan, you look really, really pretty!"

Alice touched the strip of checkered, green cloth she was wearing as a headband. Her hair had fallen out long ago and the band kept the stray wisps of hair out of her face, her fringe was still out though and she brushed the bangs out of her face. "Thanks Kaigo-kun, that means a lot from a cutie like you."

Sasuke thought she looked different. Her eyes seemed to be brighter when she wore that headband. Her hair also looked different, it made her look more girly.

"Hn," he grunted through the green scarf he was wearing, "are we going to find a new hiding spot?" His arm was grabbed as Alice stood up and grabbed Kaigo's hand, "yep! Let's go Team Fabulous!" She then raced out of the alleyway they were hiding in and ran towards the more cluttered part of the district.

Sasuke let her pull him along this time, he didn't want to admit it, but this was actually fun. When he was younger kids wouldn't invite him to play ninja, they all thought he would be too cool to play with them. And they wondered why he ignored them in later years the idiots.

* * *

"Oh man I'm tired," groaned out Alice as she stretched. The game had lasted nearly an hour and the green team had won in the end from a boy Ringo's excellent hiding in the nearby river. Alice and Sasuke were making their way into Team Seven's training ground, they were a little late but it would be fine. Kakashi was always late.

"Yo Naruto and Sakura!" Alice called out to the two ninjas that were sitting under the shade of a tree.

"YOU'RE LATE!" Screamed out Naruto and Sakura.

"Wait, you're not Kakashi-sensei," blinked Naruto.

"Sasuke-kun where have you been?" Asked Sakura, "you're late!" She shot a look at Alice, "what have you two been doing? Alone?"

"Having sweet sex," said Alice with a straight face, "what else?"

There was dead silence. All of Team Seven stared at Alice with unconcealed horror, "WHAT?!"

Alice's straight face suddenly cracked into a blinding grin, "HOLY SHIT YOUR FACES!" She let out a howl of laughter before dropping to the floor in spasms of laughter, "O-OH MY SWEET JASHIN THAT WAS TOO GOOD! I WAS F-FREAKI-NG JOKING GUYS! I WOULD NEVER SELL MY VIRGINITY TO THIS ASS OF A GUY!" She let out some more chuckles before struggling upright, she wiped some tears that collected in her eyes, "that's too good."

"Don't ever do that again," deadpanned Sasuke, "never again." Sakura could only nod in agreement, "never…"

"I thought it was pretty scary that Teme had been finally jumped by a fangirl," confessed Naruto, "then I realised that you were joking."

"What gave it away," Alice said, "the laughing or the yelling that I didn't do it?"

Naruto shrugged, "a bit of both really."

"Sarcasm is not appreciated enough," said Alice dramatically, "you horrible people." She then glared at Naruto, "hey! I am definitely not a fangirl!" She then looked away bashfully, "well not for Emo here."

"Y-you're a real fangirl?" Gasped Naruto, "who for?"

"You guys wouldn't know they were," Alice waved them off, "but they are amazing!" She than sighed dreamily, _'Tobito, Sasori and Deidara….I guess Gaara and Lee are included as well, but they're not quite as hot as those three…mmm hot bad guys…' _She blinked and snapped out of her daze, "I'm just not obsessive, scary, chase you down fangirl. I admire their courage and strength, the people I admire are those that have overcome great and horrific events in their pasts. Some just have not come off for the better…"

Alice suddenly broke out in a cheeky grin, "so Sasuke…who are you a fangirl for?"

"Idiot," drawled Sasuke as he flicked the back of her head.

"Ow you douche!" Alice grabbed her head and glared at Sasuke, "you realise that means payback!"

Sasuke snorted at her, "what are you going to do weakling?"

With a cry Alice launched herself at the Uchiha. Sasuke, not expecting her to attack, was pushed down into the ground by her flying tackle. The two began to throw punches at each other, but were constricted by the fact they were tumbling around on the ground.

Alice suddenly kicked the Uchiha in the gut and held him away with her legs, Sasuke couldn't any closer to her torso since her legs were so long. "Point for the tall chick!" Crowed Alice as she vibrated his feet against Sasuke, "why aren't you getting out of this master ninja?"

"Because you're pressing me against a tree you ass," Sasuke said with a quavering voice. Alice laughed at that, "your voice sounds retarded!"

"Your face is retarded!" Sasuke scowled at her as he managed to overpower Alice's legs and push them up. He began to push them higher and higher as he walked towards the suddenly panicking girl. "Don't do that you psycho," Alice groaned as her legs were slowly pushed over her head.

When Sasuke reached just behind her head, Alice cried out, and then began to cry. Sasuke instantly dropped her legs and looked at her worriedly, "oh damn are you alright?"

Although Sasuke was an ass, he was a guy. And we all know that when girls, guys don't expect to cry-well you know. Cry-they get a little freaked out and worried. Sasuke wasn't an exception, it didn't help he was slightly socially stunted and didn't know what to do in this situation.

Sasuke repeated his question and crept slowly closer to the crying girl that was in the fetal position. He reached a hand out to her, "hey Alice are yo-"

Her hand suddenly lashed out and grabbed his arm, she pulled him in close and rolled him over her body. She pinned him down and gave him a foxy smile, "you fell for the oldest trick in the book dumbass!"

And it was true, Alice's face was perfectly dry and fine, there was no sign that she had been crying at all.

"I thought that you had actually hurt her Teme," commented Naruto, "it sure seemed like it. How the hell did you do that Alice?"

The girl in question shrugged and got off Sasuke, "I've always been good at acting and fake crying was something I just picked up, I remember at school I fake cried and got my friend in trouble." She frowned at Sakura's disapproving look, "no I didn't do it to be a whiny bitch. I did it as a joke between us, she was just told off so it was fine."

"Why are you a troublemaker?" Hissed Sakura, "shouldn't you be spending more time actually learning something?" She had said it in a rather venomous voice that Alice frowned at, "I am not a proper troublemaker, that is the class clowns job and the popular boys of the class. My job is to add witty and sarcastic comments for my friends, it's not my fault I'm just a bit loud sometimes." She then gave Sakura a piercing look, "I have been going to school for nine years now and I am in a selective high school. That means I am in the top twenty percent of the kids in my region and the region down south of mine. This pretty much means that out of five Konoha areas, I would be one of the smartest kids in that region." She cocked her head to the side, "do you still consider me to be an idiot?"

Sakura looked away abashed, "no I believe not." She fiddled with her dress and didn't look up at Alice, who then sighed, "girl there is no need to be all regretful and shit." She draped an arm over Sakura's shoulder, "if I met me, I would think I was a dumbass to."

"Thank Kami I'm not the only one," breathed Naruto, "I really thought you were an idiot for a while there."

Alice snapped her gaze up to him, "I said I was a dumbass not an idiot! Payback time buddy!" She grabbed the blond in a headlock and began to grind her knuckles against his head, "noogie time nerd!" Naruto cried out and squirmed underneath her arm, "what is the difference between a dumbass and an idiot?!"

"Everything!" Yelled back Alice as she got pulled to the ground by the flailing Naruto. The two began to wrestle, but their match was a dust cloud with comical noises emitting from it.

"Tch what losers," scoffed Sasuke as he watched the duo fight coolly. A jumpsuited arm grabbed his in a death grip, "you're coming in too Teme!" Sasuke didn't have enough time to make a sound as he was dragged into the expanding dust cloud.

The sounds of the fight, although loud, didn't reach Sakura's thoughts.

'_Alice forgave me even after I was so rude to her, she has been only nice to me and all I've done is be judgemental and jealous. She had said she wasn't a fangirl of Sasuke-kun and she seems to hate him, so I have no reason to be jealous of her.' _She nodded decisively as she watched her teammates and Alice fight, _'Sasuke-kun pays attention to her since she doesn't fawn over him like I do. I will try to do better, both as a person and to Alice. This I promise.'_

Sakura felt slightly better after her small epiphany, she had been feeling jealous of Alice since she seemed to have all of Sasuke-kun that Sakura had wanted. She had gone into the Uchiha's house, something all fangirls had wanted to see forever, and she had even slept there! She also seemed to have been doing things around town with Sasuke-kun since they had nearly been late to training, and Sasuke-kun was never late to training!

But all of those things were assumptions, Alice seemed to be stealing Sasuke-kun, but by the way Alice acted it wasn't correct. She joked around with the Uchiha like she would do to a brother or a friend, she also held slight amnesty with him judging by the way she called him stupid names, but not by his real name. Sakura let a small smile grace her face, she would try to befriend the girl, and heaven forbid that girl needed a level-headed girl friend.

"You're coming in too Sakura!" Alice grabbed Sakura and plunged back into the fight with the pinkette in tow, "don't fight it!"

* * *

"Ah I'm sore now!"

"Shut up Alice," said Sasuke, "we don't need to hear your whining. The fight was your idea anyway." Alice shot a glare at Sasuke, "I didn't expect you guys to break out your funky ninja moves, I **am **a civilian, remember?"

"Both of you just calm down," sighed Sakura, "we don't need to start another fight. The pink haired girl was nursing a rather swollen cheek courteous of Sasuke himself. Don't worry though, she had repaid him back with a punch to the gut. Of course she thought it was Naruto who had punched her otherwise she would have never hit Sasuke, the dust just made it kind of hard to see. But for all the pain that Sakura felt, she had actually quite…enjoyed it. She had liked to roughhouse with her teammates, it was quite liberating to finally let go of that girly mask she always put on, and to just let Inner out for a slam match.

"Damn Sakura that is some mean right hook you've got there," commented Alice as she checked over her body for any bruises.

"Yeah Sakura-chan that was amazing!" Cheered Naruto, "you were all like bam! Pow! I'm gonna beat you down and stuff!"

Sakura bit back the usual comments that would come whenever Naruto had complimented her, he didn't want a date he was…actually complimenting her. He had no ulterior motive, this was Naruto for Kami sake, he didn't have an ulterior motive. He was open and straightforward, he had never tricked Sakura in any way before, maybe Sakura had been too harsh on him before…

"Thanks Naruto," Sakura smiled at him unsurely and was rewarded with a mega-watt grin from Naruto. "Anytime Sakura-chan! You **are **really amazing!"

"Yeah Sakura you have a lot of strength behind your attacks," said Alice. She leant forward on her knees, "I think if you properly utilise that strength in your own taijutsu style you would be a deadly opponent!"

"You're a civilian," said Sasuke incredulously, "how can you be the judge of if Sakura is a good ninja or not?" He didn't say anymore since Alice's punch in the arm distracted him, "what the hell was that for?!"

"For being a bigger ass than usual," scowled Alice, "**you **can't judge her since you're a self-absorbed, cruel, heartless asshole that doesn't give a time of day for anyone else than you!" She finished with a glare and another punch in the arm.

"Oooh," gasped Naruto as he looked between Sasuke and Alice, "she got you there Teme!"

"Shut up Dobe," snapped Sasuke.

"Hey don't be a jerk to Naruto now," admonished Alice, "he got a whole heap of good hits on you with his unorthodox moves. His style may be slightly sloppy, but the chaotic style works well for him and confuses his opponents when he cleverly uses the landscape for his gain."

"That was..actually a really good analyse," said Sakura hesitantly, "how did you do that with one fight?"

'_Watched the series, read fan fiction and read several pretty much essays on characters styles of fighting, etc, etc.'_

"Well I really suck at learning things when they are explained through theory, written down, or simply being shown to me." Alice flashed them a grin, "I am better when I try myself and make a theory myself. I simply experienced Naruto's style and analysed his fight, blah, blah, blah."

"Way to be modest," muttered Sasuke.

"I'm sorry," Alice leant in with a hand cupped over her ear, "I couldn't hear you over the fact that I." She slapped his head, "do not give a fuck!"

Sasuke snarled at her and then slapped her head. This, of course, started a slapping match between the two.

"Slapping is for girls Teme," said Naruto with a foxy grin, "Sasuke's a girl! Sasuke's a girl!" He then tensed for the hit that normal came from Sakura whenever he insulted her Sasuke-kun.

"Stop being an ass Naruto," Sakura huffed before turning to Alice, "ano…I've been a bit of a bitch lately."

"Maa we have our off days," Alice clapped her on the back, "don't beat yourself up about it! All females are bitches, just some days we're scarier and snappier than usual!"

"Yes well," Sakura narrowed her eyes at Alice, "I just wanted to say sorry. I have been rude and jealous of you and I am sorry for it. To repay you, I was wondering if I could do anything for the injuries on your arms, I noticed they were bandaged so…"

"Yeah why are they bandaged like that Alice?" Naruto leant forward and poked at her left arm, "do they hurt when I poke 'em?"

"Don't poke her injured arms you retard," scolded Sakura as she slapped Naruto's hands away, "may I see the injuries? I do have some medical knowledge from books I have read and from what first aid my mum has taught me."

Alice fiddled with the bandages, "I guess you can.." She slowly unwrapped her right arm, "this was from dumbass over there," she thumbed at Sasuke, "he dropped boiling water on my arm this morning."

"That was definitely your fault," scoffed Sasuke as he crossed his arms, he turned away with a slight huff.

"Whatever Drama queen," muttered Alice, the last of the bandages came off to reveal pink and slightly fleshy skin. "Did it look this bad before Mr Dramatic?" She twisted the arm around to look at all sides, "it looks a little worse than before. Was that ointment you used for burns as well?"

Sasuke shrugged, "it was a healing cream that my..mother used to put on my cuts and bruises, I never burnt myself like you retard." He poked the arm, "does this hurt?"

"Yes you idiot!" Screamed Alice as she cradled her arm protectively, "that was a dick move!"

"Everybody just calm down," Sakura pushed Sasuke back and gently clasped Alice's arm. She studied the arm closely, "so you say boiling water did this? Well there **is **a burn that is slightly more healed here, but the others…This almost looks like your skin has been exposed to a continuous amount of heat, almost like you have been sunburnt or overheated. This is common when those who experience **cold **flushes have an extremely warm object pressed to their skin, this then creates a burning effect. What was the object that touched you?"

Alice stared at Sakura, "well Sasuke touched me there and also on my torso area, but it is not burnt there." She then waited for Sakura to flip out that her crush had touched another girl, but there was nothing. Sakura merely gritted her teeth for a moment before composing herself. "Human body temperature will be higher than whoever is having a cold flush so that explains that arm. I will try my best to look up a remedy tonight, but if I can't you may have to go to the hospital."

Alice nodded absentmindedly before beginning to unroll the bandages on her left arm, "this one may be a bit stranger."

Sakura instantly recoiled at the sight that she saw. "Oh my Kami.." breathed Naruto as he looked over her arm. Sasuke flinched slightly, but that was because Alice's arm looked worse than before.

Her arm was a grotesque white with blue veins bulging out, the nails were also a dark colour along with the tip of her fingers. She flexed the hand before putting it in front of Sakura for inspection, "have fun with this. Sasuke and I believe it is like a frost burn or bite, but I'm no medical expert."

"And neither am I," said Sakura grimly, "how the hell did you do this?"

"I can't tell you that," Alice stared blankly at Sakura, "I would rather not."

Sakura hummed slightly, "suit yourself. I can't do anything on this until I understand it more, can explain the symptoms and occurrence in which this happened."

"Well I can't say the specifics of what happened," Alice tapped her arm thoughtfully, "I had cold racing up and down my arms, like a cold fire ya know. Then it had pins and needles, but now it's just numb, I literally can not feel anything!"

Naruto whacked her arm, "you can't feel this?!" Alice snapped and growled at him, "no but you will feel my boot up your ass if you do that again!"

Naruto flinched slightly and wisely stopped.

Sakura stood up and stretched, "I'll grab some medical books in the library after training to fix your arms. I just hope I can find something to help that frozen arm of yours."

"Speaking of training," interrupted Sasuke, "Kakashi won't be here for nearly another hour. What are we going to do now?"

Alice suddenly jumped up excitedly, "oh I know! I know! Kill the dill with the pill!"

"What is that?" Naruto squinted at Alice, "it just sounds really stupid and confusing."

Alice just winked at him, "but you know you'll love it! It's a simple game. You have the dill, a person, who changes throughout the game. The dill is whoever has the possession of the pill, we normally use a footy, but you guys obviously won't have one. This means we could use something like a scroll, or whatever! But we will have a certain playing area, the training grounds, and the dill simply has to keep possession of the pill. Everyone else is trying to 'kill' the dill, that means we'll tackle the sucker into the ground and wrestle the pill from them!"

Alice whipped her hair up into her side ponytail, "let's get started!"

* * *

**Yeah I hope that is good enough for you guys. I haven't really wrote many chapters since I've also been writing for my other story, I have wrote four chapters in total in the last week since in the first week my comp demanded my attention. That ass.**

**Can people please give me some suggestions of what to call Sasuke. I am trying to change his name every time Alice talks to him, but it's hard trying to think up another name for him. His main ones will be: Duck-ass, Princess, Icy, Sunshine and Emo. Please help me!**

**Sakura has reached a little epiphany here cos I want to write this story with a Team Seven Sakura, not fucking cannon Sakura. She's annoying and it won't benefit this story.**

**This story is a semi-serious, semi joking story. Alice will eventually begin to fix things in the storyline, just you wait for the fuck ups that will come along. MWAHAHAHA! **

**Yes well, anyway, Naruto didn't say much. Sasuke and Alice were the main focus alongside Sakura's little thoughts. We met Alice's soft side with children. We also met little Kaigo, he may come up later or something cos I don't name my OC's unless they actually do something. I will not name every tom, Jim or Joe that fucking comes through this story.**

**Thanks y'all.**


	7. Act 1 Part 4: Screw the laws!

**Back again yay!**

**So I still don't have any wifi, but I have come back from my trip. Although you guys will be reading this when I have my wifi, I don't now. And that's really sad. I only have a 16 GM modem for each month and the bloody device has gone on the fritz, hopefully it will be fixed soon though.**

**Can't wait.**

* * *

**Disclaimer: **_Currently drawing, writing, but not owning_

**Warning: **_Language, duh!_

* * *

**Alice P.O.V (it's been a while)**

"I'm singing, ring-ding-dinging, oh I'm singing a song. If you want to, you can come too, and sing a song with me. Oh I'm-"

"Can you shut up!"

I stopped my impromptu singing and glared at Sasuke, "someone's in a pissy mood yeah?"

"Could you please stop saying yeah all the time!" He seemed rather snappy and irritable today, though I had no idea why.

"Are you on your male PMS?" I quirked my eyebrow at the pissy Uchiha, "because you've seem to have forgotten that I can't control my verbal ticks and I'm unlucky enough to have revisited the yeah stage. Again. I should not have thought about dub Deidara…" I trailed off absently, I didn't know why, but I had been thinking about home a lot recently. I really hope Sasuke didn't hear me last night, I had realised that I would never see my brother again…

Not unless I found a way to somehow transport myself through time and space. The only way I could do that was if I managed to convince that douche inside of me to transport me back, but I had a feeling that it wouldn't do that. My other option was….fuinjutsu!

I ignored Sasuke's snappish attitude, screw his pissy tantrums, I was going to find a way home! It may just take a fair time of studying…and I thought I had gotten away from school and it's never ending studying.

"Is there a library for ninjas?" I shook Sasuke back and forth by his shoulders, "I need to know now. It's urgent, yeah!"

"Let go of me bitch," Sasuke slapped my hands away and stood up off the ground we had been 'training' on. It was really Sasuke teaching me basic stances for taijutsu and then making me attack him so he could practise using his sharingan. Real selfish isn't he? The first chance I get to learn taijutsu and it's a ten minute lesson for Sasuke's benefit. When I told him he was an ass-among other words-and quit, that might've been the start of his hissy fit.

"C'mon douchebag!" I used my puppy eyes on Sasuke, "pretty please with a cherry-on-top." I pushed out my bottom lip in hopefully what was a pout and gathered up tears in the corners of my eyes. "Pllleeeaaaasssseeeee." I took in a big breath, "pppplllllleeeeeaaaaassssseeeeee-"

"Okay if you just shut up I'll tell you!" My face was shoved away by Sasuke's hand, but that didn't matter, I was off to a library. Yay! I'm coming back old friend.

Sasuke shoved his hands in his pockets as he led me away from the training grounds. I quietly followed him as he led me through the streets of Konoha, quite a fair way through Konoha might I add.

We stopped outside a large, old building which Sasuke gestured at, "this is Konoha's library. Civilians and ninjas alike can go in here," he then smirked smugly, "but only ninjas can go into the ninja sections. You need a headband as proof, and this time, you can't bluff your way through it!"

I nodded gratefully to him, "thanks for showing me here, you don't have to stay here, I can find my way hom-back to your place, yeah?" I smiled at him even as he scowled at me, "I'll see you in an hour or so yeah."

"Tch," scoffed Sasuke, "more like a minute."

I ignored him and continued up the stairs to the reception just inside the entrance. I stopped in front of the desk and coughed politely to get the woman busily working there to look up.

She glared up at me with bespectacled eyes, "child there better be a good reason why you're interrupting me work, hmm?"

I smiled at her nervously and felt myself revert to polite child mode. "Ano, I'm very sorry to bother you miss. I seem to have a problem you see, and I need to go into the ninja section to help me fix it, yeah?"

The lady harrumphed angrily at me, "child only ninjas can go in there and only civilians of Konoha can go inside _my _library. Get out of here _foreigner_!"

I flinched at the harsh way she spoke to me but continued to press my point. It was a risky move, and I didn't know how it would plan out, but I had to try it. I leant in close to the lady and cupped my mouth like I was telling a secret, in which, I was.

"Miss what you're about to hear is an S-class secret that only Hokage-sama, the famous Copy-nin Kakashi, and the last of the Uchiha, Uchiha Sasuke, know." I felt the woman stiffen and lean in even closer to hear me, "continue child."

I managed to swallow the wicked grin that threatened to cover my face and continue on with my bluff, of truth. "You see I _am _a foreigner, one that whose matters have been directed under Hokage-sama personally. My.._condition _is highly confidential and I need to know how to control the aspect of me that comes along with it. You see….that boy Uzumaki Naruto..you know of him and what he holds, yeah?" I felt the woman tremble slightly as she stayed stock still, "well my condition, is one of a higher calibre. What I hold is something that far outweighs the amount of death that the Kyūbi no Yoko can bring." I chuckled sinisterly to seal the deal and leant back with a perfectly innocent expression on my face, "you understand my situation now don't you?"

As the woman nodded vigorously I smiled sweetly at her, "thank you miss. Now if you tell anyone, I'll know~" I tapped my nose with a wink, "only high-ranking people know of this secret and I'm sure they won't be happy when their new weapon's secret is compromised yeah?" I turned away as the woman nodded vigorously again, and calmly walked into the ninja section of the library.

Once I was there though, I hurried to a secluded part of the library. I tucked myself in the corner of a pair of shelves and sunk to the ground shaking. Nausea swept over me as I thought about what I had just done, I had twisted someone's mind and used blackmail and threatening to get what I wanted. Was it the thing inside me or me, myself, that compelled me to do that? And to revel in the feeling it gave me too?

I shudder as a cold feeling passed over me, and flinched when the all-too-familiar voice crept into my mind.

_What's wrong child? You have gotten what you wanted, as my chosen you are meant to use those lesser than you to get to your goals. Wrap their mortal minds around your finger, seize them, and use them for your gain._

A hissing laugh made me shiver even harder, 'get out of my mind you bastard!'

_My child, you have done so well. Let some of the darkness take over you….You are meant to keep balance in this world, you can not do so if you aren't balanced yourself. There is too much goodness in your soul, just let yourself be corrupted by death, just a little bit, and everything will seem so much better._

I relaxed as the voice wrapped around me, just let the darkness take you over….just a little bit, everything will be fine….all will be fine…

I snarled and snapped my head back, 'I will never do that! Screw you asshole! I won't be your puppet, now fuck off!' I shoved the cold presence down and imagined locking it deep down inside of me…where it was dark and cold, the part of me that seemed to crack that little bit more…

"There you are."

I jumped, "holy shit!" Sasuke's slight laugh caught my attention and I scowled up at him as he stood above me with a smirk plastered on his face. "Don't scare a girl like that you asshole!" I shoved at his legs angrily. "What girl," he sneered, "all I see is some crazy bitch that.." He trailed off gazed at me with such scrutiny that I fidgeted slightly, "what you douche?"

"It happened again didn't it?" I froze and carefully looked up at Sasuke, "w-what do you mean?" I chuckled nervously and scratched my head, "what are you talking about yeah?" He scoffed and crouched down in front of me, "don't lie to me Alice."

My eyes widened in shock, that was one of the only times he had actually called me by my name. I hung my head and stared down at the dark carpet between my curled up knees, "yeah it did." I didn't look up as I felt Sasuke sit down opposite me, I did look up though, when he nudged me with his foot.

He was mimicking my position with his arms wrapped around his knees, "what did it say this time? Was it something to do with the terrified reception lady, or how you managed to get into a civilian restricted section?"

I nodded sullenly, "I-I don't even know if it was it or..me this time. I just thought I would bluff my way past by telling her the truth that I needed to learn things in the ninja section for my _condition_. Then one thing led to another and I was blackmailing her, and enjoying the feeling of power it gave me. I felt so..satisfied when I felt that woman shake in fear, because of me!" I was nearly crying now and I pressed my face against my kneecaps and began banging it softly against them.

My breath came harsher and harsher as I began to bang my face harder and faster, hoping the pain would distract me from the thought of twisting someone for my benefit.

"You know," began Sasuke, "one thing led to another? That sounded like you courted that lady to her bedroom."

I snorted and broke out into ragged chuckles, "who says courted anymore?" I peeked at Sasuke between my knees and watched as he put on a highly offended face, "why the great, last Uchiha of Konoha of course. Only those that are great and noble can _court _someone."

"So when are you going to court one of those _ravishing _girls that always seem to follow you yeah?" I uncurled myself and sat up on my knees, "maybe a certain bubblegum-haired girl hmm?"

Sasuke whacked me on the head as he stood up, "c'mon bitch, let's go find whatever the hell you're looking for."

I stood up and followed him out of the dark corner I had managed to tuck myself into. As we walked side by side through the bookshelves I quickly grasped his hand and smiled at him, "thanks Sasuke." I dropped his hand and turned my face away from him as we continued on.

Then I tried to ignore the tingly feeling that came from my hand or the sudden and foreign skip of my heart.

* * *

**3****rd**** Person P.O.V.**

"What's Alice reading Sasuke-kun?" Sakura questioned the Uchiha as she stared at Alice who was reading a thick book and ignoring everyone around her.

"A book on fuinjutsu," sighed Sasuke as he broodily stared off into the distance. "She's been reading it since last night and she hasn't put it down at all."

"Is that jealousy I sense?" Teased Naruto as he nudged Sasuke, "jealous of a book Teme?" He yelped as Sasuke punched him in the arm, "shut up Dobe!"

The two looked up when a hand was thrust into Sasuke's face, "scroll please Blackey," demanded Alice as she still read the book.

"Why would I give you a scroll bitch?" Sasuke slapped her hand away, "I won't waste any of my equipment on something that you need. I bet it would be stupid anyway, coming from you."

Alice finally looked up from her book, "what climbed up your ass and died today Sunbeam?"

Naruto began to laugh at Sasuke, "pssh, she always gets you Teme!" He began to roll around on the ground as he laughed even louder, "she's got you whipped!"

"Do you even know what that means you retard!" Shouted Sakura as she hit Naruto when he rolled too close to her. She then rummaged in her ninja pouch, "take my one of mine Alice."

Alice smiled gratefully as she took the red lined scroll from Sakura's hand, "thanks Sakura!"

"If you don't mind me asking," said Sakura, "but what are you reading about Alice?" Said girl perked up, "well Hime there told you I was reading about fuinjutsu yeah?"

Sakura nodded hesitantly, "yes, but that is a highly advanced level of ninja arts that only a few people can understand, let alone use."

Alice hummed and thumbed through the book, "yes well I've been reading this basic fuinjutsu book, and I just finished it then so I can get started on something I think will-"

"You can't have finished that book yet!" Naruto poked at the book, "that must be at least four hundred pages and you only just got it last night 'tebayo!"

"Yes well I speed read," scoffed Alice, "and when I get into a book, I get into a book." She then tapped the cover of the book, "fuinjutsu is a use of symbols to basically write a code that changes a function of whatever you are placing it onto, it can even change the laws of physics!"

"What is physics?" Sakura scrunched her nose up, "I have never heard of such laws in the Konoha book of laws!"

Alice laughed nervously, "yes I guessed you wouldn't understand, but it doesn't matter. What matters is what I have discovered about the way of writing fuinjutsu itself!"

Alice plopped down on the ground in front of Team Seven and began rifling through the pages of the book. Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura waited for the girl to find whatever it was she needed, they jumped when Alice suddenly exclaimed triumphantly and slammed the book on the ground.

"See this here," Alice pointed at a swirling looking symbols that was inked into the middle of the page, "that is a balancing symbol. It is used in various occasions when you use seals, sometimes to keep the balance of the users' chakra as they push it into the seal. If it is a delicate seal, the balance symbol could be used to help control the chakra of someone with poor chakra control." She pointed at Naruto, "people with large chakra masses like Naruto would benefit from this, but! You can't have two balancing symbols on one seal since they would cancel each other out, and there isn't enough symbol dynamics to add another anyway. Though if you linked it to another parallel seal.." Alice trailed off as she used a brush dipped in ink to write something down on the scroll Sakura gave her.

"How do you know that?" Sasuke stared at the symbol that was shown in the book, "I can't tell that from here. How do you know it's a balancing seal? There isn't anything about it being one here."

"Well I read about it earlier," Alice turned her attention back to the balancing seal, "but I could tell what it was after I looked at it closely." She tapped near the centre of the seal, "this part here, look at it for me." Team Seven complied and leaned in to look at the circular centre, "I can't see anything," whined Naruto, "it's just meaningless swirls."

"Humph," Alice traced an unknown path through the swirls, "this here looks just like a symbol of the universal symbol of balance. It's a ying and yang," she showed the trio the ying and yang necklace she wore, "see!"

"I see nothing," Sasuke commented flatly as Sakura nodded in agreement, "there's nothing there Alice."

Alice growled before throwing her hands up in frustration, "whatever! The next step I realised is that symbols back in my..home land, was the primary foundation of language in the later years. What came after symbols, years after, was the written language. But that's not important, what's important is the 'language' that has been looked over for years. The concept has always been associated with magic, symbols have played a large part in magical beliefs, but not as much as spells and enchantments. Spells and enchantments though, are just a souped up version of lyrics, or poetry! Rhyming words into spells, or in this instance, into a seal like quality. If I combine symbols that I know have great importance, with basically lyrics. Oh my sweet Jashin, I have a new way of using fuinjutsu! An easier and better way of writing it! The best part is, I can write it with symbols only I know and in my home language. That means that no one can undo the seal I put up, not even a seal master!" She grinned at Team Seven, "how amazing is that?!"

"Uhhh," Naruto muttered uncertainly, "what?"

"I have no clue what you just talked about," agreed Sasuke. Alice turned hopeful eyes towards the brain of the team, but was disappointed when Sakura shook her head sadly, "I don't understand what you're talking about Alice."

Alice looked uncertain for a moment, "but it will work….I mean..it has to work! I just…" Her posture slumped, defeated, "why is nothing going right for me?"

"There, there," Naruto patted her arm nervously, "it'll be fine."

"No it won't," came Alice's muffled reply as she burrowed into her crossed arms, "I just want to go back to bed and sleep forever. Just forget I never existed as I disappear into nothingness!"

"Stop being melodramatic," Sasuke poked her in the arm, "just go try and write one or something. Just try it out and try not to explain it to us because it is confusing and I really couldn't care less." He pushed Alice towards the scroll, "go on and write with that…Where the hell did you get that brush and ink from Alice"

"Your place of course," Alice said offhandedly as she sat in front of the scroll, "it has your emblem and stuff on it."

Sure enough there was a small Uchiha fan on the end of the brush and inscribed into the glass of the inkwell. "You won't be getting it back though," commented Alice as she searched through her ninja pouch.

"Oh why's that?" Sasuke scowled at Alice as she pulled out a kunai from her pouch.

"Because I'm contaminating it," Alice flinched as she sliced her right index-finger finger. "Drip, drip, drop," Alice sung quietly as blood dripped into the inkwell, "Alice is a rain woman."

"Alice is insane!" Sakura grabbed out a roll of bandages and pulled Alice's hand towards her, "why would you do that?" Alice mumbled something before frowning at the inkwell, "you think that's enough blood?"

Sakura scoffed, "well you cut your finger pretty deeply idiot, you tell me." She tied off the bandage with a flourish, "at least my medical skills have gotten better. After reading those medical books for treating your burns, I have gotten a lot better!"

"I still think you should become a Iryo-nin," Alice poked at the ink with the middle finger on her right hand, "definitely have the control for it yeah." Sakura didn't answer as she looked over Alice's arms, "I take the bandages off your right arm since the burns are healed, and straight away you get a bandage on your finger! Ugghh I'm just mad that I couldn't heal your left arm, there is something funky going on about that arm."

"Just learn some medical jutsus~" Alice dipped the brush into the ink, "just do it Sakura~"

"You do it then Alice!"

"I don't have good enough chakra control."

"Well get good chakra control."

"Kakashi-sensei has been working on me and my chakra for a week now and it's still too hard to control."

"Less complaining and more action."

"Just stop Sakura."

"Hah! I got last word in!"

"Whatever." Alice carefully put the brush to the paper, "It is a wonder I remembered to add chakra to the ink with all your yapping."

Sakura held her punch since Alice seemed so focused on whatever she was drawing on the paper. She watched with rapt attention as Alice carefully drew a circle, one that had a dot in the centre and a perfectly straight line coming off it to the edge of the circle. Alice then painted a small symbol of the number 'go' (five), next to the line, she then went on to write unreadable words around the circumference of the circle.

"What does that say?" Sakura pointed at the foreign lettering around the circle, "is that from your home language?"

Alice nodded as she blew on the ink to dry it, "it is a simple saying that fits the purpose of this seal. It's a concealing seal that expands to a five metre radius, the point of that circle is that it indicates the radius and the five in your language to indicate the size of the radius. The lettering reads as 'hear no, see no, speak no.' Let's hope it works!" Alice smiled nervously at Sakura before beckoning Sasuke and Naruto closer, "you guys gotta be in the radius if you want to be concealed."

"I want to be invisible!" Chirped Naruto as he flung himself down next to Sakura, "hit me up!" Sasuke whacked him in the head as he walked by to stand next to Alice, "let's see your fail."

Alice ignored him and sliced her thumb, she didn't hear Sakura's groan of annoyance as she began to mould chakra. She channelled a whole heap of the stuff to her hand as she slammed her hand against the seal she had drawn out.

"ACTIVATE!"

* * *

Kakashi's eyes widened as chakra washed over him and his students-with the addition of Alice-disappeared in a cloud of white smoke. He jumped down from the tree he had hidden himself in and waited for the cloud of smoke to disperse, "that girl should've realised not to play around with fuinjutsu! It's a dangerous art when you don't know what you're doing! One night of study, one kami-damned night!"

Kakashi waited with bated breath as the large cloud of smoke disappeared and he found the group…

Gone.

* * *

**HAHAHAHA SURPRISE BITCHES! HOPE YOU HAD FUN WITH THAT FUCKED UP AND CONFUSING CHAPTER, MWAHAHAHAHA!**

**Yes well, Alice is getting mind-raped by Shingami and Sasuke has a fucking touching moment with her to reassure she is not going all evil with corruption and shit. Ironic 'cos that's what happens to him.**

**She also fucks around with fuinjutsu, cliché, but necessary for this story. No one actually explains fuinjutsu in this series! It's kind of a tool Kishimoto uses when he's too lazy to explain some bullshit that happens in the story. **

'**Oh I gotta keep Sarutobi in one place so Orochimaru can kill him. Fuinjutsu it is! And I won't explain the concept behind it either than how many seals it is (I believe it is six sealed) and what it looks like. Have fun suckers.'**

**Why Kishimoto? Why?!**

**So I have screwed around with the theory, all we really know is that there are symbols used and some sort of language wrote around in circles. I'm pretty sure it isn't Japanese or anything so I'm going to use English in a lyrical way and just write it in circles around a symbol that has a meaning or some shit like that. I'm just winging it!**

**So I'm done here, bye!**


	8. Act 1 Part 5: Damn Kakashi

**I think my writing went for a turn for the worst if the lack of responses is anything to go by. I'm very sorry about that!**

**Here's another chap though which I offer up in sacrifice.**

**Also, why do people think this story is so funny? I do try at some parts, but it is honest responses that I would normally say. I am flattered by the fact that people comment that they were laughing and looked crazy in public from their laughing. **

**You know who you are JustFabulous. **

**P.S. to JF- OMG! Your name! I have been waiting so long for this! I have this thing about describing things as fabulous and here you are! I shall love you for eternity if you keep this name!**

**On to the story!**

* * *

**Disclaimer: **_Holy shit to everyone who has written SasuxNaru! You just did incest! HAHAHAHA! Oh and I don't own Naruto, whatever_

**Warning: **_Language and Kakashi blowing up. Also MASSIVE ANGST_

* * *

**3****rd**** Person P.O.V.**

Kakashi swore lightly to himself as he circled the spot where his team and Alice had been. He was leery about going into the radius of the now scorched grass because he could disrupt Alice's flow of chakra and the seal might collapse in a bad way.

On the other hand, he might give her a lucky kick to the head after what she just pulled.

There was a reason why fuinjutsu wasn't used by many shinobi. Sure it was a complex and a hard to understand profession, but so many died from experimenting with seals. Even sealmasters had died from their experimenting, and Alice had one night looking over a fucking beginner book!

Normally Kakashi would report something like this to Hokage-sama, but he had just come from a meeting with him and he had told Kakashi that Danzō had expressed interest in the new foreigner. Kakashi was told that the new part of the mission concerning Alice's wellbeing included keeping her far away from Danzō. That couldn't be done if Hokage-sama was currently in a meeting with the man himself.

He sighed and decided the best thing to do would be to wait out the time period of the seal. Seals were eventually burnt out by the constant chakra being pushed through it. Or Alice might collapse from chakra exhaustion, whatever was quicker.

Kakashi flipped his book out and sat on the ground to wait, he wasn't really reading the book. Instead, he was preparing what to say to Alice since she seemed so set upon being immature and inconsiderate to her comrades.

* * *

"Are you sure this bogus thing is working?"

Alice's eyebrows twitched at Sasuke's dry comment. Twisting around to glare at the Uchiha beside her, she had to take deep breaths to push down the reoccurring anger.

"Well Kakashi-sensei **is **sitting right there and he seemed pretty annoyed, it must've worked." She stifled a snicker at the expressions that Naruto was pulling at the oblivious jounin, "he would've responded to Naruto's gestures by now."

Sasuke only grunted in agreement as he stared around with a bored expression, "so how does this thing work again bitch?"

"Alice," muttered Sakura uneasily, "you do realise fuinjutsu is very delicate and hard to control? Your chakra is connected directly into the seal and the seal relies on the chakra being supplied to it, didn't you say you hard poor chakra control?"

Alice laughed and waved her off, "nah it'll be fine Sakura. Kakashi-sensei said I had shoddy control, but control doesn't matter so much in a seal like this. It would only matter if I wished to be completely undetectable, then I would have to suppress my chakra so no one could sense it. Get it?"

She then turned to Sasuke, "if you couldn't understand me before genius," she flashed him a smug grin, "how could you understand now oh wise, prodigy ninja?!"

"Don't be sarcastic with me," Sasuke sneered in reply as he flicked her nose.

Alice squeaked and gripped her nose, but not before a glare was sent towards the Uchiha.

"Hey guys look at this!" Naruto yelled out as he continued to goof around in front of Kakashi's distracted face, "cool isn't it?"

"Watch out Naruto," warned Sakura, "the seal could stop at any minute and Kakashi-sensei could see what you were doing. You don't want a Thousand Years of Pain to your ass again, do you baka?"

Naruto chuckled nervously before grinning foxily at her, "don't worry Sakura-chan! He won't see a thing! He's reading that dumb book anyway." He turned back to making faces before suddenly stopping, "hey! What about.."

"Uh…" Alice stared at the disappearing seal on the scroll, "Naruto?"

Said blond laughed as he stuck the finger up at Kakashi, "can't see this can you Ero-sensei!"

Kakashi stared right at the genin, "oh?.."

Naruto laughed lamely, "he can see me…can't he?"

Sakura, Alice and Sasuke all nodded, "we tried to tell you…but…" They finished with a sigh, "you're an idiot!"

"As cute as that was," Kakashi suddenly loomed over them with the sound of thunder cracking in the background, "whose idea was this?"

All of Team Seven pointed at Alice who sighed, "I knew there would be consequences.."

Kakashi scowled at her suddenly deathly serious, "of course there would be! I taught you to use your chakra so you learn how to become a ninja. Isn't that what you wanted?" He cut off any of Alice's comments, "no! That was irresponsible and could've killed you and my team!"

Alice visibly dropped at this, "Kakash-"

"No!" Snapped Kakashi, "if you don't stop doing such foolish things I will personally oversee the sealing of your chakra! Being a shinobi isn't a game Alice, it's a life and death situation. So grow up and stop acting immature!"

Alice flinched at every comment that Kakashi threw at her, but at the last one, the rage that always seemed to throb under her skin boiled over.

"SHUT UP!" She screamed as she stood up. The scroll she had wrote on and the ink she had used fell off her, the ink splashing the ground. Team Seven were startled by this sudden outburst, they stood ready with weapons out at the sudden movement of Alice.

"You think I would endanger people just like that?" Alice growled at Kakashi as yellow eyes with slits in them bored into a single black one. "This thing inside of me won't let me die! Every time I'm in danger of dying it goes and saves me that jerk!"

Kakashi was staring steadily at Alice as killing intent flared from her, "you can't rely on it Alice. You don't understand what it can d-"

"The hell I can't!" The white of Alice's eyes were slowly being tinted a grey colour, "you don't have it inside of you ya dick! It whispers dark thoughts to me true, but it seems to be the only thing I can rely on in this fucking place!"

Kakashi's eyes widened slightly at this accusation, "what are you saying Alice?!"

"I'm saying," the girl ground out, "that no one seems to care much about poor, little Alice. The shopkeepers look at me distrustfully since I'm a foreigner. Oh Hokage-sama is helping me? He's too busy running a village to care about one girl. And you! You seem to find more entertainment in my struggling rather than _actually _helping me out sometimes. You get your team to do stupid team exercises, and I do chakra control exercises as usual. True it may help me greatly, but you could at least pretend you care about what I'm doing. Maybe if you pretended it wouldn't hurt so bad as usual…" Alice trailed off as she lowered her sad gaze to the ground.

"Alice," began Kakashi before the girl suddenly fired up again.

"Oh and how about the fact that the precious last Uchiha over there only takes care of me, not from the good of his heart, but because he has been ordered to! He does not give a flying fuck about anything in this village, least of all the wellbeing of some stupid bitch he has to take care of!"

Sasuke frowned slightly at this as Sakura and Naruto flicked their worried eyes to him quickly. "What the hell is going on Sasuke-kun?" Whispered Sakura, "Alice is talking about something inside of her? What the hell is setting her off like that?"

Neither of them noticed Naruto's hand stray to his stomach. He clenched his jumpsuit tightly as he stared at Alice, "she has something sealed into her Sasuke?" He said hoarsely. He then looked across to the apprehensive Sasuke, "Shingami. Isn't it? I thought that what happened in the old man's office was just some sort of hoax or something, but it's not. She really has a piece of Shingami in her."

Sakura let out a strangled hiss, "what the hell do you mean by that Naruto! Sasuke-kun, just tell us the truth!"

"It's not mine to tell," he said lowly as he to watched Alice scream at Kakashi, "just watch and wait Sakura. I'm sure we're all going to get answers"

Sakura nodded uncertainly but watched as Alice tore into her sensei.

"You know what else _Copy-nin_?" Sneered Alice to Kakashi, "you're so caught up in your fucking past that you're fucking up the future of your team!" She laughed scornfully, "how about that Kakashi, prepared to kill off another generation of Team Seven?"

Kakashi finally moved as he slammed Alice into a tree with a chokehold, "don't talk about things you don't know!"

Alice choked out a laugh as she looked down at Kakashi with baleful eyes, "it hurts to be alone. Doesn't it Hatake? Everyone you love has left you, you don't know what way is up or down, you can't seem to find any light in the world. They had been taken from you and it feels like it was all your fault!" She laughed again, "well feel happy you've never been abandoned before. Feel happy that you have those precious memories _and none of it was a lie!_" She roared out the last part as she flailed against Kakashi's grip.

"Shingami is taking over your mind and influencing you," said Kakashi lowly, "stop this. Or else."

"Or else what?!" Alice giggled hysterically, "I've already lost everything! What's my life and what little freedom I have left!" She grinned at Kakashi's pensive look, "oh yes, I have sensed those precious ANBU you have been shadowing me. The only time they aren't watching me is here, with _you_. So Kakashi," Alice leaned in with her yellow eyes glowing, "are you going to teach your team anything useful? Or are you going to let them slip through your fingers again?"

Kakashi dropped her and stepped away, "what the hell is wrong with you Alice?! This isn't just the Shingami, this anger doesn't come from nowhere, so what's wrong?!"

"Wrong?" Asked Alice quietly as she pushed herself up onto all fours. She looked at Kakashi with sad, emerald eyes, "my entire being Kakashi. I am tainted and wrong, I should not be alive with this thing inside of me." She slowly stood up and turned her back on Team Seven, "I just want to go home. Can't you understand this?"

Alice began to slowly trudge away from the slightly shocked team.

"Alice!" Yelled out Naruto as he began to run towards her, "Alice! Hey wait!"

"Enough Naruto," Kakashi clapped his hand down on Naruto's shoulder, "she needs to wind down. Her mentality is unbalanced with that thing in her, but I think something was already wrong before that happened."

"But sensei," Naruto's eyes stared forlornly in the direction Alice had gone, "she's like me. In a way I mean, she has something inside of her like I do." He grasped at his stomach again, "but it's worse than mine isn't it? It can take her over or something."

Kakashi merely nodded as he stared off in memory, "we all have our own demons Naruto. No one can remained untouched in a world as cruel as this."

* * *

**Alice P.O.V.**

"Stupid fucking Kakashi!" I kicked out at a rock as I walked away from Team Seven, "why does he have to act like he's the boss of me or something!"

_You're acting like one of those female teenagers in those movies you seem to hate._

"Shut up you," I scowled, "you didn't help when you began to possess me like that!"

_I am sorry if I react to your anger, maybe if you weren't so fractured already you might actually be able to control that temper of yours. It seems to come out viciously whenever your past is brought up or when someone seems to say something about your..capabilities._

"Why the hell are you still here?" I growled as I sat down on a rock in a secluded training ground, far away from Team Seven's!

_When I was established into your mind, I had a shaky grasp onto you. Now, I have settled into your body a lot better. The fact that I still am able to talk to you is that I have a better grasp on your mind and the simple fact that the mind is closely tied with emotions. The strongest human emotion is despair and anger, that is when it is easiest to make contact with you. Right now you're still angry and in despair, therefore I can still connect with you._

"Thanks," I said dryly as I swung my feet out in front of me, "I didn't realise death gods talked so much."

_Since my establishment in your mind, I had to take on some of your factors and personality so your mind finds me familiar, rather than kicking me out._

"So that's why you're not so much of a creepy voice and you aren't so uptight."

_That may be the truth in your case, I am just correcting myself to your mentality. Which in fact, is rather fragile. I do get your memories my chosen, and I can not seem to see the point in which your mind fractured._

"Uh, maybe when you shoved yourself into me!" I yelled out. Picking myself up, I walked over to the stump in the middle of the field. "I am so angry!"

_I could sense that, why else would I still be able to talk to you?_

"Shut up and go away!" I slammed my fist against the stump and ignored the pain, "why doesn't anything go right for me?!" I punched the stump over and over until my hands began to bleed, "why'd you have to do this to me?..."

_This world is unbalanced, you have seen what darkness lies ahead. I may be the god of death, but my job is also to keep balance over this world. I am here to make sure that you do your job and fix it, now stop your crying, I do not understand why you humans are so fragile._

I blinked away the blurriness in my eyes that I hadn't realised was there before answering. "If you believe in balance so much, why do you keep trying to corrupt me? You keep saying to embrace the darkness and all that shit. How is that balanced?!"

_For all the badness that has happened to you, you still smile. Everyone has always thought you were so happy, you had even managed to convince yourself. But in here, in your mind, darkness is festering. All those times you felt like you were so angry you were going to kill someone, when you felt betrayed and hurt, when everything bad happened to you, all you did was smile. I believe that is when your mind began to fracture, lying to others is one thing, but lying to yourself is impossible._

I moved from punches onto kicks, my sandals slapped solidly against the wood with a soothing rhythm. "That's nice and all, but what does it have to do with you being creepy and whispering shit to me?"

_When I entered you, I was instantly pushed back into the very depths of your mind by your subconscious defence. I slowly began to override your subconsciousness until I became it, but your subconscious for all its help, is a very dark thing. You could push away all that badness with a smile or a blank look, but your subconscious still whispered violent and somewhat dark thoughts to you. I have simply made those thoughts heard. You are good on the outside and on the surface, therefore to keep the balance, you must have an equal amount of darkness. And if you won't show it on the outside, you must show it on the inside._

I sighed and rested my head against the wood, "so I'm crazy now."

_Crazy is a matter of perspective, but yes, I think your mind is fracturing into insanity._

"Happy times."

I tried not to notice the dripping of tears mixing in with the pools of red on the ground. "So what now? Shingami-sama?"

_Now? Now you fix it._

* * *

**3****rd**** Person P.O.V.**

Alice didn't know how long she had been punching the lone stump, but her hands had nearly formed new harden skin underneath the bloody one that took the blunt trauma.

Punching the stump as hard as she could, she could hear her knuckles creak in discomfort. She snorted slightly and flicked the blood off her hands as she went to lie down on the grass. It was nearing noon as she lay back on a soft patch of grass, over four hours since she had first started venting her anger out on the stump.

Stretching her hands out in front, Alice winced slightly at the pain that raced through them. While in anger, she obviously didn't think things through too much, but at least she had gotten better at those taijutsu stances Sasuke-teme had shown her.

"Quite a show you put on gaki."

"Holy shit!" Alice grasped her heart as she sat up. "Who the fuck said that?!" She then laughed lightly, "nah I could sense you before, nice try on sneaking up on me. Biatch."

"Oh? And a mouth on her too. Kakashi seems to find the most interesting brats washed up in the strangest of places. You're the foreigner I've heard so much about then, and I see you've got anger issues that need to be vented. Do you wish to play?"

The voice had seemed to drift and echo around Alice, but the last statement was whispered right beside her ear.

"So you're the Mitarashi Anko I've heard so much about." Alice grinned as she turned and faced the smirking face of Anko. "I think we might have some…common areas in our lives. Take this for an example, I love to beat the shit out of people, and apparently you do to. I have also heard that you have a great fondness for dango. There's a sad fact that I have never had dango," she ignored the horrified gasp that came from Anko, "and I've stolen some money from my duck-ass Uchiha. So what you say we hit your favourite dango place and you can introduce me to that lovely dish, hmm?"

"You had me at dango," Anko grabbed the girl by the collar and began to drag her away. "Nice choice of clothing there girly, but it could do with some mesh and a bit more cleavage."

Alice nodded, "I was thinking that too, but I quite like the bandages on my left arm. It somewhat makes me look like a badass. Not as much as you though," she said quickly, "I can see you've got a real kunoichi talent. Nee-san."

Anko barked out a laugh and propped Alice upright as they walked into the streets of Konoha, "a flatterer too? Where have you been all my life," a shit-eating grin spread over her face, "imōto?"

"I've always wanted to be a little sister to a fabulously, sexy woman who can handle a man properly."

"And what do you propose is the correct way to handle a man?" Anko asked as she led Alice under the flaps of a booth and ordered several plates of dango. She glanced back at Alice as she made her way over to her usual both with said girl trailing behind her.

"By the balls of course," Alice quipped an eyebrow at the purple-haired kunoichi as they slid into the booth, "what other way are you to handle such a creature?"

Anko roared with laughter, "I'm definitely thinking I'm going to like you girl. What's your name anyway foreigner?"

"Clostar Alice," she replied easily as she propped her chin up. Alice then let a smirk wander across her face, "what if I made an offer to you?"

"Depends what it is," Anko said casually, "depends whether it amuses me or not."

"How about you get to torture me whenever you want to and we can both call it training. I wish to be trained properly, not the pussyfooting Hatake always seems to do."

Anko smirked at that, "train you huh? Well," she cracked her knuckles with a leer, "I've always wanted a punching bag. Or even someone to try my poisons against."

"Poison immunity does sound pretty good," mused Alice. She stuck out her hand, "Show me seduction tricks and we have a deal!"

"Seduction?" Anko asked incredulously as she flicked the hand away, "for a delicate, little thing like you? Are you sure girly?"

Alice nodded determinedly, "I'm fucking positive. I am only just getting used to using chakra now and my control is a little off, but!" She steepled her fingers, "I'm sure that my talent will come in handy once I learn the henge."

"What are you talking about girly? What talent do you have that will go with a henge?" Anko frowned at the girl, "henge's aren't really used on the field unless you're going to disguise a kawarimi or something."

"Yes well," began Alice, "I'm not choosing to go onto the field." At Anko's sign she exaggerated, "I'm wishing to do more along the intelligence gathering and assassinations line of work. I can mimic a lot of people's voices and if I get a full report on someone and their quirks…"

"Combine that with a henge," breathed Anko, "holy shit! Do you know what this means!"

"Perfect infiltration," smirked Alice, "and if I have seduction techniques on my side, I can gather the information on the person myself. Some alcohol here, a flash there, and shazzam! Information for me and Konoha. So what do you say Anko-nee?" She stuck her hand out again, "we've got ourselves a deal"

A larger hand grasped hers firmly, "you've got yourself a deal…Alice-chan."

* * *

Sarutobi sighed as he stared into his crystal ball at the two grasping hands. "Alice-chan, I hope you realise what you're getting into. I certainly don't!"

* * *

**And done.**

**A bit short, but such drama! *Le gasp***

**So Alice has a pissy moment after Kakashi's pissy moment. She can talk to Shingami and they seem on better terms this time. She vents her anger on a stump. And she's going to be a mini-Anko in the poison, assassination and most importantly!**

**Da, da, da~ SEDUCTION! YAY!**

**I'm so excited to write what sort of crap Alice gets up to, although before then, she has been missing the whole day….How are the others going to react?**

**Just think over that till next time!**


	9. Act 1 Part 6: Wow That's some angst

**So Mimic shall now be my main focus. That means…MORE MIMIC IF YOU WANT!**

**That is, only if you want. 'Cause I've got another story I should probably get going…Hmmm we'll see.**

**I got another fabulous review from JustFabulous and it just made my day! So this chapter is dedicated to them 'cause they made me even more enthusiastic to write this rubbish!**

**Also, I've seem to have some people ask if Alice is going to be with Sasuke. Yes and no. Sasuke is a little shit who loves no one but himself, Alice really does not want any type of a man in her life either than friends and mentors. As well as the fact Alice is two years older than Sasuke. But there will be a point where it may get serious, until then, there will be some stupid, funny embarrassing *hurl* fluff moments.**

**Ew.**

**Here's some angst for you!**

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**Disclaimer: **_I don't own Naruto, DUH!_

**Warning: **_SASUKE BEING ANGRY EMO+ALICE=DISASTER!_

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**Anko P.O.V (WHAT?!)**

I let a small, satisfied smirk creep onto my face as I watched my new 'imōto' exit the booth. Damn that girl, I actually do wish I had met her little ass earlier. Imagine what fun we could've had…terrorising the village.

Ha! I caught you out you dirty minded brats! As if I wanted to have her in my bed, I'll have to show her some tricks before she touches the Ever Sexy Mitarashi Anko!

But back on track.

My head was slightly reeling at what the implications of that girls' enrolment into the ninja corps could bring. She had demonstrated her ability to really mimic people, she had my sexy voice down pat! But if she could learn the henge, some seductive techniques, tactics and some of my awesome assassination skills…I might have an apprentice on my hands here…a damn good one at that!

Up your little Uchiha bitch Hatake! I've got a perfect kunoichi I can mould out of this girl, and you went and threw her away!

I cackled slightly as I played with the dango skewer I had finished off. Of course no one really paid attention to my actions, they were used to it now. I fiddled with the skewer as I thought about what to do next.

The girl seemed anxious to start training, I'll let her deuce it out with the Uchiha bitch and then we'll have a fun training session tonight. Yep, I'll stock up on snakes in my sleeves and grab that whip I knew I had lying around somewhere…

* * *

**Alice P.O.V.**

I ruffled my hair in slight exasperation as I walked down the sunset lit streets. That was a big gamble bringing in Anko to this plan I had, but I didn't really know many jōnins that didn't already have genin teams. The only person I think may be available is Genma and I have no way to contact him. Anko may be unpredictable, but I knew her personality. Knowing is good, knowing is safe. Anko was definitely safe, as long as she didn't kill me with some outrageous training procedure.

Taking a deep breath I slowed my walk down, taking a moment to stop, and actually look around Konoha.

The streets were full of mainly couple going on a date, it seemed Friday night was the romantic night. The lanterns in the shops were being lit and they cast a warm glow as the sun began to set and darkness fell. I drifted as the smell of cooking did, I didn't know where to go now, but I was calmer about it now. If Sasuke threw a hissy fit over my hissy fit, I may have to go to Hokage-sama for an orphan salary.

Oh…I was an orphan now basically.

I blinked rapidly as I felt the usual flush from oncoming tears, I _did not _want to cry in public!

I made my way over to an alley connecting onto the street I was in. The buildings weren't too tall and I reckon I could make it this time 'round.

Closing my eyes I applied chakra to my feet and stuck my foot against the wall.

'Calm mind, calm body, calm chakra.' I hummed the mantra as I prepared to walk up the wall. Keeping a calm mind would get me up this wall, luckily I was tired and that meant being brain dead was easier.

I switched off all thought and only focused on the strong thrum of my chakra as I began to walk up the wall. I didn't open my eyes and I didn't get distracted.

I was still surprised when I made it to the top.

I heaved out the breath I had been holding and carefully made my way to the edge of the building. It was dangerous but I swung my legs over the edge and sat down. The sun was just setting, my favourite time of the day. Only this time, instead of it setting over the ocean, it was setting over the outline of buildings and trees.

Don't get me wrong, it was a beautiful sight, but I would give anything to see a grain of sand or some salt water to show I'm back home. Most of all, I wanted my brother.

Many siblings hated their siblings and always fought with them. My brother and I always fought, but we mock fought for fun, and I always loved it. Out of anyone in my family, my brother was the most important to me. We shared secrets, thoughts, dreams, even this anime together.

I blinked away the tears that began to prick at my eyes and curled my knees up to my chest. I wrapped my arms around my legs and hugged them as close as I could to me, a weak way of faking that someone was hugging me.

I began to softly sing to myself as I watched the last orange rays of light slowly disappear. It was aimless lyrics that I came up with on the spot, but it always made me feel better. This time it didn't work, the dam finally broke and tears began to streak down my face. I stopped my singing and shoved my face into my knees, blocking out everything.

"THERE YOU ARE!"

I didn't flinch at the presence I had felt before, it had become very familiar to me, but this time there was a bubbling feeling of despairing and annoyance directed at them.

"What do you want Naruto?" I muttered as I pulled up my head and stared back out into the now darkness of the night. **(A/N: Real poetic there) **

I did nothing even as an obviously enraged Naruto advanced towards me. "What do you want?!" He asked incredulously, he was now right behind me. "Are you joking Alice?! Kakashi-sensei, Sakura-chan and Sasuke have been freaking out looking for you!"

I let out a strangled laugh, "that's cute. Either than Sakura, none of them have especially cared properly for me. Sakura has been making sure that I've got clothing, keeping me company and showing me around Konoha. What has Sasuke done? Given me a place to live, _but,_ he leaves me downstairs on a couch with a blanket in the cold. He occasionally supplies me food, expecting me to somehow come up with money to feed myself. Also, you should've realised by now that Kakashi isn't training you, he's simply giving you team exercises and reading that porn of his. All I've seen is your taijutsu improve barely because I get you guys involved in spars since Kakashi is too fucked up to actually come on time."

Naruto's hand grasped my shoulder tightly, "stop talking like that Alice! Sure Sasuke is a teme, but he's been actually nice to you after all he's been through. I know his family was killed off by his brother and he was nice enough to let you live in his house with all those bad memories floating around. And Kakashi-sensei! I don't know what happened, but he's really sad inside and he tries so hard to help our team, and-" He hesitated slightly before pulling me around to face him.

I smiled thinly at his slightly startled expression. Licking the still dripping tears off my lip I said quietly, "and what about you Naruto?"

At his confused expression I continued, "what about Uzumaki Naruto. He lives alone and struggles every day for acknowledgement since the citizens here are so stupid to mistake you for your tenant." I poked him lightly in the stomach, "what does Uzumaki Naruto get?"

"A-alice…" Naruto looked unsure for the first time I met him, vulnerable even. His cerulean eyes looked shiftily at me, "how'd you know?" He managed to croak out, "wh-what do you-"

"I think nothing of it," I soothed. Wiping away my tears I grasped Naruto's hand gently before tugging him down to sit next to me. We sat there quietly as we looked over Konoha, both of us had been dealt a sucky hand of fate. Naruto three times more though.

Here I was crying about not being able to see my family when Naruto never had one. How childishly selfish of me.

I hesitantly put my arm around Naruto's shoulder, wincing when he stiffened. I waited for him to relax slightly before asking the big question, "you're the jailor of the Kyūbi aren't you?"

Naruto instantly stiffened before twisting in my arm to face me, "how did yo-"

"I know a lot of things Naruto," I smiled slightly at him, "some things I shouldn't know. And a whole lot of things I'm going to change." He looked confused by my comments but he relaxed even more when I began to run my hands through his soft hair.

"You have Shingami don't you?" He asked hesitantly, "the death god isn't he?" I hummed slightly in agreement, "yeah I do. He's not too bad except for when he tries to corrupt me into killing people and shit. So yeah, either than that he's pretty cool."

Naruto stared at me, "you seem so casual about that. When I hear the fox talk to me, it's scary and I don't like it at all. How do you stay so calm?"

Chuckling dryly I answered as he leant against my shoulder, "who said I was calm? I'm always scared no matter how much I pretend I'm not, but that's just part of being human." I laughed again, "not like I think being human is that great. Shingami is simply expecting me to do something big, and I'm not sure if I can do it. But if I do, it'll fix so many things and save so many different lives. If you're scared," I nudged shoulders with Naruto, "sometimes showing weakness isn't that bad. It's one of the things that make us human, and you're as human as anybody else Naruto."

I ignored the slight shaking of Naruto and continued to run my fingers through his hair. When I felt the tears begin to fall harder, I slowly pushed him into my arms. He didn't stiffen this time though and actually turned and clung to me as he cried harder.

How could I be so selfish when there was so many people in this world that were crying on the inside or crying alone. I gazed down at the blond mop of hair latched around my waist and positioned him so he was comfortably hugging my front. For being twelve Naruto was still short, it felt like I was comforting a ten year old, but one who had just realised his parents were never coming home.

I stared back out at Konoha as I stroked the village's jinchūrriki's head. Small things like this were all it took. Small things would hopefully bring this world to a better future.

The beginning of a plan continued to bloom in my head, I was just one girl. Would I….Could I do this? I flashed my gaze towards the kid in my arms and my resolve steeled.

Would I have it any other way?

* * *

**3****rd**** Person P.O.V**

Contrary to many beliefs, Sasuke did have a heart and emotions. He did occasionally get flustered. He did feel sadness, anger, happiness like others. It was just that he felt more anger and sadness than any other person, not that he didn't hide them well behind a stoic mask.

But this was the first time in ages he had felt anything near to panic.

He had stayed quiet when Alice had a spit with Kakashi. He had stayed silent when she had accused him. He had stayed silent when she had stormed off. But he couldn't stay silent when she had disappeared to Kami-knows-where and didn't come back, even when it was nearly five in the afternoon.

It was night now and Naruto and Sasuke was scouring the village for her. Sakura had to leave at one point because her parents wanted her home, but he and Naruto had continued to search for the girl.

Sasuke didn't know why Naruto seemed so _enthusiastic _to find Alice. Sure the two had become somewhat friends, they certainly acted a lot alike, but Naruto had been increasingly anxious to find the brunette. Something about today had changed Naruto's opinion about Alice.

And Sasuke wasn't sure he liked it.

Now he was tired, hungry and somewhat fed-up. Turning around he decided to head home, Alice did have nowhere else to go.

Sasuke chose to ignore the slightly panicky feeling in his chest and continued to walk through his district to his house. The door was unlocked as usual and he slid it open, not announcing his presence because..there was no one to answer.

Making his way through the hallway entrance, he finally noticed something. There was a smell in the air. It almost like…homemade cooking.

Sasuke could in fact cook for himself, he just chose not to because he had to be spending more time getting stronger so he could kill _that man_.

Yes there's italics, that's how serious he is about killing Itachi. Sasuke's a bit weird in that sense.

Sasuke shifted a kunai into his hand as he slowly crept closer to the brightly lit kitchen. He pressed himself against the wall and slowly inched towards the open doorway and-

"Stop fucking around Sasuke."

Sasuke started slightly, but coolly walked into the kitchen flipping the kunai to see Alice bustling around the kitchen and making some sort of meal. Sasuke made his way over to a saucepan that was bubbling on the stovetop and looked inside to see a reddish sauce overing the last of his mince.

"You can cook?" Sasuke asked quietly as he opened the lid of another saucepan to see spaghetti being cooked there.

"Yeah," Alice flung a pile of herbs into the mince and stirred, "it's surprising isn't it? I've picked up some dishes from my parents and this just happens to be one of my favourites." She dipped a finger into the sauce and licked it, "hm. Not quite like my mum's, but good enough."

Sasuke leant against the wall as he observed Alice set out the table with only slight hesitance. She fiddled around with the cupboards for a moment until Sasuke took pity on her, "cups are in the bottom right cupboard."

"Thanks."

Alice was definitely quieter than before, she also seemed to be bordering on a somewhat sad quiet. But as she maneuverer the kitchen with a grace she normal didn't possess, Sasuke had to admit she looked different. The calm sad look on her face softened her usually tense features and she seemed to dance as she twisted from getting another plate to checking on the mince.

Sasuke was roused from his observations when Alice stepped back with a flourish and proudly declared the meal was ready. Two plates sat opposite each other on the tiny meal table, both heaped with pasta and the mince with red sauce on top. Glasses of water sat next to them as Alice pulled a chair out and sat down.

"Are you coming?" A faint smile was on Alice's face as she watched Sasuke slowly make his way to his seat. When both of them were seated and had said the usual meal grace, there was a tense silence. The only sounds were of the utensils scraping their plates as they ate.

Halfway through the meal Sasuke had definitely had enough, "where were you?"

Alice slowed down her eating and slowly twirled a piece of pasta on her fork. "Does it especially matter?"

"Yes it does Alice!" Sasuke snarled at the now stoic girl, "you left for hours! None of us had a clue where you went and Kakashi just told us to leave you alone. He went off to Kami-knows-where.." Sasuke muttered sullenly at the last part but fired up almost as quickly, "Naruto, Sakura and I went searching for you and I find you just cooking here like nothing's happened!"

"I know," Alice placed her fork down, "I know you guys were looking for me. I met Naruto around sunset and we chatted for a while-"

"Oh so you chatted," scoffed Sasuke, "what about? Your _feelings_? How cute, how disgusting, how typical," he sneered at the end. "People like yo-"

"People like me disgust you, hm?" Life was finally coming to Alice's face, but it was a look of anger, something Sasuke quickly rose to the bait of.

"People like you sicken me," Sasuke glared at her across the table, "pissing about the sucky life you have. How about me? I've had my whole family massacred and-"

"Be happy they weren't massacred in front of you," Alice said softly, "be happy you didn't have to watch their blood spill." She was getting riled up again, "be happy that you didn't have their blood splash across you as they were cut down!"

Sasuke made an odd choking noise before responding angrily, "like you would know!"

"No," Alice softened slightly, "I don't know what it is like to lose a family member. The closest thing I can feel to that is the fact my aunt is currently dying back home, with no one but her kids. She's had a hard life, but she always smiled the brightest and I admire her for that." Alice stared at Sasuke, "I _do _know what it's like to be lied to, betrayed, angry at the person or people who would do that to you."

Sasuke glowered at her, "what the hell do you mean by that?"

Alice sighed before going back to her meal, "I'm not getting into a fight over this Sasuke. Yes I was selfish in my despair, but so are you. You are caught up in your past like Kakashi, so much that both of you can't seem to see the person that holds the most pain in your team."

She picked her plate up and continued to clear Sasuke's away, "you should know something. Some words of wisdom that I've heard back home, a truthful quote. The loneliest people are the kindest. The most damaged people are the wisest." She gave him a bright grin, "and the saddest people smile the brightest."

Sasuke stared after Alice as she retreated into the living room after clearing up. What she had said then, she had smiled and…All the smiles of hers, they were all so bright and big compared to the soft ones he had sometimes seen on her face. They were so much like…like Naruto.

_You are caught up in your past like Kakashi, so much that both of you can't seem to see the person that holds the most pain in your team._

Maybe the dobe was deeper than he had thought, and maybe he went after Alice because he felt close to her for some reason. Sasuke's eyes narrowed slightly, there was something about Naruto. And now he was curious about it.

* * *

Alice made a snuffling noise as she huddled deeper into the thin blanket Sasuke had given her. The shadow near the window froze slightly before realising she was still asleep. Anko easily picked the lock on the window and slid it open without a sound.

It was going well as usual, except for the fact Anko forgot Alice always seemed to sense anyone who was near her. Anko grinned as she reached out with a rag in one hand, only to be startled as Alice whipped a hand towards her face in a jab.

Of course Anko easily avoided it, but it still surprised her slightly.

Alice didn't make a noise even as Anko pressed the soaked rag to her face. Alice glared at Anko stubbornly and held her breath, no way was she going to breathe in chloroform! Alice should've expected Anko to do something about this, it was Anko after all.

Anko admired the girls stubbornness and awareness, but she apposing _Anko_! And that did not roll with the jōnin.

A swift punch to the gut had Alice gasp for air, '_something to work on'_ mused Anko as she picked the girl up and put Alice over her shoulder in a fireman's carry. Anko began to whistle a light tune as she made her escape, it was a weirdly jaunty tune for Alice's march towards death.

* * *

**Alice P.O.V.**

I woke up with a groan and a pounding headache that seemed to spike behind my eyes every time I blinked. I should've realised this would've happened, Anko wasn't well known for her patience, but still.

Fuck.

I noticed it was still dark, but that also might be because of the bag over my head. Cliché, but it was also insanely itchy, maybe it was a torture method?

"Welcome girly to your hell."

I rolled my eyes behind the bag, "that's too cliché Anko-nee. Get something with some oomph! Nothing cliché, but it has to be threatening."

"You have a point there brat, but you interrupted me." A punch slammed into my gut again leaving me short of breath, "there's your oomph brat!" I nodded weakly at that, "g-good ret-tort."

"Thanks," Anko replied smugly, "but we're not here to talk about my amazingness. As much as I'm sure that would entertain us both…"

I did not like that trailing off comment, I knew something bad would come from that.

A short cough brought my attention back to Anko. "Brat, you said you want to become an amazing ninja and all that magical shit. Well first you've gotta know something about being a ninja. As much as you might hate it, ninjas gotta have both physical and mental training. So if you don't like learning, you won't like our night lessons."

"I expect we'll be doing this every night?" I asked dryly.

"You betcha!"

"What's first then sensei?"

"Well student-of-mine, we'll begin with my favourite part of being a ninja either than the killing. Or the assassinations. Or the awesome jutsus you can do. Or the fact that getting laid is so easy. I mean-"

"Don't need any more until a later time sensei."

"Yep okay! We'll be learning the basics about poison tonight. I teach you the properties of a plant, then I'll beat the information into you if you get it wrong!"

"Yay." I bet she could feel the amount of sheer excitement for this lesson. Sure I would like to learn about poisons, the beating? Not so much. But if it is good for me then I'll take it without complaining. Actually, just not too much complaining.

"First thing you need to know brat," I heard a rattling sound coming from where Anko's voice was, "you need your basic instruments. Mortal and pestle are mostly used for grounding up poisons, so don't use it in your cooking 'kay? Another point there, most poisons are from plants around you. The most powerful poisons come in the raw form of plants like Hemlock and Aconite, but there are less obvious ones that work better."

I felt a leafy thing being thrust into my hands, hands which were bound in front of me might I add. I carefully felt along the plant, thick stems with slightly spiky leaves near the top. I could also feel bunches of small flowers at the top, completely harmless right?

"That's the dreaded Hemlock brat," Anko seemed to say it proudly, "describe it for me will you?"

I did as she said but I couldn't help but wonder, "what colour are the flowers though sensei? And do they always look like this? Where are they found and what are the properties?"

Anko chuckled in front of me, "good questions there. You might not be entirely useless here." I ignored the comment as Anko took the plant from me, "the Hemlock is a flowering plant also known as the Conium. The flowers are white and occasionally have a light purple tinge to them. They're found in more drier and areas, but they have been known to pop up in the strangest of places. The Hemlock literally slows your mind down until it's a mushy vegetable ready to be smushed. Eventually the brain slows down so much all the organs and body functions begin to fail. Most of the deaths are caused by suffocation because the respiratory system went and died, but the best part is that it causes paralysis!"

She sound way to gleeful when she told me that but I couldn't help but feel excited as well, I had always wanted to learn about poisons. Of course though, it's illegal to use poison back home. Apparently people don't like it when you fiddle around with toxic stuff.

Stupid laws.

Anko interrupted my thoughts when she rapped smartly on my head, "repeat that back for me will you brat. Any mistakes and I get to be forceful with you, a punch here, a cut there, maybe a lashing…."

That totally didn't make me nervous but I recited the information Anko had told me perfectly. "How long do the night classes go for sensei?" I asked Anko, "we talking an all-nighter or what?"

"Nah," scoffed Anko, "just till you learn what I reckon is the top ten poisonous plants, from touch and smell. Then you need to recite the information on them and what poisons they make, by themselves and with others from my ten."

I held back the groan that threatened to escape my mouth, just great.

Real fucking great.

* * *

**Well that wasn't especially exciting or funny, but it's going somewhere. **

**Alice is crying, firing up, comforting, understanding, happy and irritated. Sounds like she's having her time.**

**Sasuke is busy being an emo, angst-ridden twat.**

**Naruto is confused and sad.**

**Anko is enjoying herself.**

**And Sakura and Kakashi didn't make an appearance.**

**Hope to see you guys soon!**


	10. Act 1 Part 7: Make ups

**Hi y'all!**

**I've only got…six more days of school holidays. Sounds like a lot right? Enough to get you a few chapters here and there no?**

**Yeah well, don't get your hopes up!**

**I do happen to have a social life, and family life will take up majority of those days. Add three tests of studying and this may be the last chapter for the hols + a week. School will definitely be chock-a-block!**

**On a note of the last chap, that scene between Naruto and Alice was originally not going to happen. I began to write Sasuke and get primed up for a HUGE argument when I realised that Alice wasn't really in the mood. She had already screamed and yelled. Put on a brave face and convinced Anko to be her sensei. And just cried about her family.**

**If I was her, fuck Sasuke's argument. I want some chocolate and hugs, not a scrawny, duck-ass twat to start screaming at me.**

**So for the sake of Sasuke staying a man, it was Naruto.**

**That was just to clear up any confusion or any of that shit. Now that I've blabbed on, here's a new chapter.**

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**Disclaimer: **_DDOOON'TTT OOWWWWWNNNNN!_

**Warning: **_Language fuckrats_

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**Alice P.O.V.**

"Dear Kami Alice! You look like the dead!"

I managed a convenient zombie-like moan as I wandered into the training ground. I'd shuffled all through town to get here and I was still tired, normally moving woke me up.

"What happened to Alice!"

I winced at Naruto's piercing shout as I thunked my forehead against the tree trunk Team Seven was sitting under. "Cool your jets Naruto, I'm just tired. Now will you please be quiet?"

I heard an amused noise come from Sakura, "tired Alice is polite Alice."

I managed to roll my eyes before slowly sinking to the ground and curling up in a ball. "Can't I go back home?"

Sakura laughed, "you just got here and it's nine in the morning. Why are you so tired?"

I choked out a laugh, "you would be tired if you nearly stayed up all night." I sighed and tucked my head in further, "I shouldn't have slept at all. I function better when I get no sleep rather than just two hours. Screw Anko-nee right now."

The rest of my woeful tirade was smothered by Naruto lying over me, "I'll give you my energy Alice! It'll make you feel better!" I laughed again and rolled over so I could see Naruto lying across me. I pulled him towards me and hugged him to me like a teddy bear, "I'll get up after I grab some sleep with my teddy."

Naruto struggled under my arms and tried to wriggle out, "hey let me out! I don't want to be a stupid bear!"

"Shhh," I closed my eyes and hugged him tighter, "teddies don't talk."

A poke in the side made me crack open an eye. Sakura was standing over me with a slight smile on her face, "c'mon Alice. Let the poor kid up."

I stubbornly held Naruto tighter, "no he's mine! You can't take him from me meanie!" Sakura scowled slightly and grabbed Naruto's only free arm, "Alice…" She tugged on Naruto's arm to get him out, "let him go Alice."

"No." I quickly grabbed Sakura and dragged her down so that she was squished against Naruto in my arms, "yay! More teddies!"

Try as she might, Sakura couldn't get out of my grip. Both her and Naruto were _very _close and personal with each other, not that I ship them. I'm NaruHina all the way. I'm just trying to share some love between them and all that magic.

I'm also trying to get some sleep.

Stupid Anko….

It was close to three in the morning by the time I had memorised the top ten natural poison plants and their properties. Six when I had successfully made Hemlock into a sort of paste that could be ingested by someone. The cool part was that the paste killed in five minutes. Anko had demonstrated on a rat she had captured earlier. She had wanted to use a person, but they currently had no one in the I&amp;T holding cell to be killed. The rat had eaten the paste-really Anko force-fed it-and around the four minute mark it keeled over paralysed. I got to watch as the body functions of the rat failed, it took thirty seconds for the rat to die after its respiratory system died.

It was awesome.

I snuggled into Sakura's soft hair and slowly drifted off into a light doze. I didn't even bother to wake up when the dipshit I was arguing with last night entered the training ground. How did I know Sasuke was there? That was easy enough to explain, chakra sensing.

It had become apparent to me after only a few days of having chakra. A lot of things made me able to sense people's presence and their chakra, the fact that I had chakra played a part.

I had always been alerted to people's presence just before they came anywhere near me, a sixth sense you would call it. I always woke up minutes before my alarm, or I woke up a second before my parents opened the door to check on me or whatever.

And yes, I was awake when Sasuke put that blanket on me on the first night. As if I was going to say anything about that, it's better if he thought I was asleep. It was also better if I pretended he had no heart, it made ignoring him easier. Like I was currently doing.

* * *

**3****rd**** Person P.O.V.**

Sasuke had barely any sleep last night, but he was feeling slightly better than last night. He had spent a lot of last night brood-_thinking _over what Alice had said to him and what she could mean by her words. She had said Naruto was the person with the most pain on the team, Sasuke found it hard to believe the Dobe had the worst pain.

Naruto may have lost his parents, but it wasn't like he had _actually _lost his parents. They were gone before he could even get to know them, therefore he had never lost them in the first place.

The only thing he had noted about Naruto was that the population of Konoha seemed to glare at him as he walked through town. Sasuke had noticed it when they were walking to Hokage's office or when they were doing a mission, but he just brushed it aside. Maybe there was something about that, something to do with Dobe.

Sasuke would have to ponder it later because he had arrived at his team's training ground. He also arrived to see a strange sight.

Naruto and Sakura were squished together, something that Sakura wouldn't willingly let happen. They were also tucked under…Alice's arms as she held them in a bear hug. Alice's eyes were closed and it looked like she was asleep, which was preposterous, the noise his teammates were making could wake the dead.

"Sasuke!"

"Sasuke-kun!"

Sasuke internally groaned at his teammates pleading looks and shouts, this was not going to end well. He could just feel it.

"Come help us Teme," Naruto made puppy eyes at Sasuke, "Alice thinks we're her teddy bears. She won't let us up until she gets enough sleep or something! She was muttering about only getting two hours sleep, what did you do to her last night?!"

Sakura gave Sasuke a disapproving look, "it's not healthy for someone to get such little sleep Sasuke-kun. What did you do to keep her up so late? And who's Anko?"

"I thought you weren't being a medic," Alice mumbled as she shoved her head between Sakura's and Naruto's. "Change your mind did you Sakura-_chan_?"

Sakura growled and blushed at the same time. "I-I just read up on some more medical books Alice! It doesn't mean I'm going to be an Iryo-nin or anything!" Alice made a disbelieving noise and curled up tighter. Sakura wiggled slightly under Alice's increased grip, "and what's with the chan part?!"

Sakura could feel Inner get fired up inside her, **'DON'T YOU GET AFFECTIONATE LIKE NARUTO-BAKA! DON'T BELITTLE US LIKE A LITTLE GIRL, CHA!'**

Alice's mouth tweaked in a small grin, "mmmmn. You're just like what I imagined my little sister would be like. Fiery like me, but good at medical stuff like my mum."

A blush bloomed across Sakura's face, "like a lit-ttle sister?"

Alice's eyelid slid up and she stared at Sakura with her emerald eye, "not unless you don't want to be." Shaking her head vigorously, Sakura smiled at Alice, "no! I've always wanted a sibling!"

"Well it's unfortunate you've got one like me," Alice smirked, "or you could be lucky. I'm the little sister to my brother, how could I know what it's like to be the older sibling."

"Ne, ne!" Naruto beamed at Alice, "you have a sibling?!"

Alice rolled her open eye before releasing Sakura and Naruto. Sitting up she stretched and cracked her back, "yeah I've got an older brother. He's my favourite person the whole world, and he's the coolest bro ever!"

Sasuke scoffed as he leant against the tree the others were under, "what's so amazing about him? He's probably just as stupid as you are, and twice as ugly."

"I go to a smart school dumbass~" Sung Alice, "my brother is just as smart as I am. He's only a year older than me but he's skipped a year in school. Oh also, the girls at his school pine after him. He doesn't have fangirls, he has girls who reckon he's hot and awesome, and they don't stalk him. Therefore he's twice as cool as any Uchiha could be, especially you." She made a scoffing noise and crossed her arms, "you're jealous of my bro's mad skills."

Sasuke looked on bewildered, Alice was colder sounding to him and she hadn't made any eye contact with him either. She was giving _Sasuke _the silent treatment. It was meant to be the other way around! He ground his teeth quietly as Naruto asked Alice another question about her _amazing brother._

"So what's he like Alice?!" Naruto cocked his head in curiosity, "is he an insane ninja who knows really strong jutsus?! Oh I bet he's the best warrior of your village! C'mon Alice! Tell me! Tell me! Tell me!"

"Okay!" Alice shoved Naruto's puppy eyes away from her face, "I would be happy to." She sat down cross-legged and faced a curious Sakura and Naruto, her back to Sasuke. "Where should I begin….Hm well firstly, he's not a ninja. Where I come from we don't have ninjas. Or even chakra for that matter."

"No chakra!" Sakura gasped, "but how are people still alive then?! How are you able to do jutsus then?!"

"My mum answers questions similar to that first one," Alice smiled softly, "but she's never found any evidence of any sort of energy inside of us."

"What's your mum do to ask those questions?" Sakura asked, "you said she's good at medical stuff."

Alice looked thoughtful for a moment, "it's hard to explain. She's a scientist who specialises in Biology, but she also dabbles in Physics for her job. She specialises in Neurobiology but also is adept at other areas of science. As a part of Biology, she knows a whole heap about the human body and what it can do, along with several diseases and how to treat them." Alice stared at Sakura suspiciously, "I thought you were asking me about my brother and not my mum. Hmm Sakura-chan?"

Sakura blushed slightly, "sorry!"

Alice just laughed again, "nah it's cool. My bro is someone I love, but I'm also insanely jealous of. He's good looking, smart and the bloody best at sport. Like fucking hell I'm so inadequate compared to him."

"You don't seem sad when you say that," commented Sasuke, "you say you're jealous. So why aren't you more-"

"Angry?" Alice finally looked at him. "I would never feel angry about my brother in that way. I am told I have talent and all that shit, but honestly, I don't care. I'm fine cruising through life just asking stupid questions about it and fucking stuff up. My brother is different, he acts tough but he's rather fragile. He's hard on himself when he thinks he hasn't done well, it's the complete opposite of me. I've built up a I-do-not-give-a-fuck attitude so I don't feel disappointed ever. I'll never blame my brother for doing well at what he does. I just never said I wouldn't make fun of him along the way."

Alice smiled a soft smile, "he's my Dobe, and I love him greatly."

"Dobe?!" Naruto squawked, "why do you call him that if he's so good?!"

"Because he spent one year choking at sport," Alice drawled. "I can make fun of him for that 'cause it's ironic and frankly hilarious in my family."

Sakura tugged on Alice's arm, "you said he was older than you by a year. Is he fifteen?" Alice nodded before freezing, "what's the date?!" She looked around frantically, "guys what's the fucking date?!" She almost screamed out the last part she was so frantic. Sakura placed her hand lightly on Alice's arm, "calm down Alice it's the twenty fifth. What's so bad about that?"

"Wh-what so bad?" Alice asked shakily, "what's so fucking bad?!"

Sasuke instantly began to back up, he knew one of Alice's blow-ups. And judging by the way her whole body was shaking, this was the bad feeling he had earlier. Although he was surprised when tears began to pool up in Alice's eyes. The shaking wasn't from anger, it was from sadness.

"Alice!" Naruto grabbed the trembling girl by the shoulders, "what's wrong?! What did we do? Was it something I did? Or was it Teme?"

Sasuke slapped Naruto away, "Dobe it's obviously something to do with the date you idiot!" He knelt down in front of Alice, "what the hell is wrong?"

"My bro-other," Alice gasped, "I missed his birthday." She let out a small sob a clenched her shoulders, "he was turning sixteen and I missed it! That's the most important part of your teens either than eighteen! He was going to get his L's. He might find a girlfriend while I'm gone. I just….I just missed an important part of my family's life."

Honestly Sasuke had no clue how to answer to that. Naruto wasn't much help either. Luckily Sakura had relatives and being a ninja and completing her duties made her miss important times in her small family. She gathered Alice up in a hug and gently soothed her until her sobs turned into hiccups.

"You know I missed my mum's birthday while we we're on a mission to wave."

Alice peeked her head up at that. Seeing that she has Alice's attention, Sakura continued to talk about her family. She talked about how her parents threw a small party when Sakura had come back, and that her mum hadn't opened her presents until Sakura was home. She talked about what it was like to be a civilian in a clan's profession. And as she talked, she didn't realise that she had the attention of both Naruto and Sasuke as well. The two boys were often so caught up in their own loneliness and hardships that they hadn't even asked about their female teammate.

Sakura had to juggle clan stuff, although her clan wasn't big they still had obligations. There was also dealing with stuff at home, and managing to squeeze in any family time between training and missions. She hadn't had a proper sit down dinner with her family for more than two days in a row since training took up her time. Although she was a civilian and hadn't faced many hardships in her life, Sakura had to juggle more stuff than a year twelve studying for their HSC **(A/N: Graduating high school and all that shazzam)**

Alice was content to listen to Sakura talk rather than listen to the voice inside her head that kept saying she had betrayed her family by missing out on her brother's birthday. She knew she was going to have nightmares tonight. If Anko let her sleep that is.

* * *

**Alice P.O.V.**

I stared at Kakashi, "I can do the wall walki-what? Fine!-_tree_ walking exercise already." Kakashi just watched me suspiciously, "prove it then." I lifted my head up proudly, "fine! I will. Watch this scarecrow and feel stupid."

Man I was so glad that I did the exercise right then, it would've been _so _embarrassing. Thank you chakra control god!

I grinned cheekily down at Kakashi from the top branch I was on, "is this sufficient?" He merely nodded and gestured me to come down. I stalled slightly, I knew what was going to come next. And I'm sure I wasn't going to like it.

Kakashi tucked away his ever present book and sat down on the grass against the tree I had climbed. I dropped down, hesitantly sitting next to him and prepared myself for what came next. Unfortunately Kakashi was content for me to sit and squirm a little before he talked. After what seemed forever, Kakashi turned to me with a serious glint in his eye. "I've noticed you've stopped calling me Kakashi-sensei."

"Mn." I fiddled with the bandages that were always present on my left arm. "I have no need since I already have a sensei, one who has taken me on like a apprentice. I guess she could be my shishō, but that doesn't really seem to be her style, and I call her nee-chan anyway."

Kakashi looked curious at that, "you have a new sensei? May I ask who she is?"

"You may not," a smile tugged at my mouth, "it's a super secret, something you'll never know." I full on smiled at Kakashi's annoyed expression, "yeah, I'm an ass aren't I? The identity of my new sensei will never be found."

"You can call more than one person a sensei," said Kakashi quietly. He wasn't looking at me anymore, his gaze was directed forward and away from me. "Mn," I didn't exactly know what to say here. It seemed like Kakashi needed to be comforted, but was trying to act cool about it. Well….when in doubt, hug it out.

He instantly stiffened when I lightly put my arms around his shoulders. He lifted his arms up to actually look at me, "Alice what are you doing?"

"You can call more than one person chan," I retorted as I now hugged him around the waist. I gripped his waist tightly and buried my face into the soft material of his shirt so I wouldn't see his hesitant face. I was surprised though, when an arm was slowly placed around me. Taking it as a small victory, I grinned into his shirt, "thanks…Kakashi-sensei."

"Thank you, Alice-chan."

* * *

"So you kissed and made up with Scarecrow eh?"

I snorted at Anko's 'delicate' way of putting my hugging session with Kakashi. "Yeah Anko-nee, we totally snogged and all that shit."

"I fucking knew it!" Anko grinned at me to show she was playing along, "now let's see if you can get you mind out of the gutter and into ninjutsu!"

My mouth dropped open in surprise, "ninjutsu?! Oh my fucking Kami! We get to do that already?! But we did poison last night, I'm pretty sure I haven't learnt everything about poison yet Anko-nee."

A very _ladylike _snort came from Anko, "you know fucking shit about poison girly! We're doing ninjutsu today because, A. I feel like it. B. I want to see you actually use that mimicking skill. And C. I actually have a schedule you need to follow. Actually it's more like a training regime, but whatever. Now let's get started!"

I cheered happily, "yay for ninjutsu! It's fucking awesome!"

"You fucking bet it's fucking awesome," Anko flicked me on the nose, "but shut up and listen. You're going to learn an E-rank ninjutsu called the Henge. E-rank basically means even you should be able to do it with your shit control. Now it's a 'transformation' technique, but it basically is a minor genjutsu that changes how you look. What people don't realise though, is that when you put on a henge, if you come in contact with someone they can feel the fabric, skin and shit of you. So don't get cocky with it, it's not a fucking shape shift or anything."

I nodded easily at Anko's explanation, I already knew all of this but something was bugging me. You aren't meant to be able to properly transform into the person, or, object that you henge into. Like Anko said, it was a minor genjutsu. But in the series, Naruto transformed into an actual girl when he did his oiroike no jutsu. He also transformed into a Fūma shuriken that Sasuke could _actually _catch and toss. That definitely was no illusion. Either than being a jinchurriki, the only difference between Naruto and any other person, was his insane level of chakra.

Well Kakashi said I had a fuck load of chakra (not that he put it that way exactly), so maybe I could overload the jutsu with chakra to make it real. That was, after I learnt how to do it safely.

Anko clapped her hands together, "this is the hand seals. I'll only show you once, so watch this closely and don't fuck up." She twisted her hands into three signs I already knew. "That's dog, boar, tiger. Is that right Anko-nee?"

"So you're not completely useless my little girly girl." I scowled at Anko's comment, "call me anything but girly girl. It insults my entire being."

"Yeah, yeah," Anko waved me off, "now are you going to do the jutsu or what?"

"Well what am I turning into?"

"Who do ya think?"

"Some sexy chick. Unfortunately I don't know anyone I can turn into."

"Why you little!"

I began to go through the seals of a Henge as I ran away from Anko, "first try's the charm!" A white cloud obscured my vision for a second and I quickly wheeled around to Anko, "did I do it?!"

She began to laugh obnoxiously, "not even close! You made your hair purple and that's about it!" I scowled and grabbed the end of my hair so I could pull it around and see what I did. Anko was right, my hair was a deep purple, just off Anko's own colour. The cool thing was, it looked spikier than before.

"Anko-nee!" Anko looked up at me from where she was curled over laughing, "what is it loser child?!"

Ignoring her comment I showed her my hair, "even if it's not a full transformation it's changed colour." I made her grab my hair, "and look! It's spikier than before! Just like yours!"

"So what?"

I rolled my eyes at her bored question, "so! You shouldn't be able to feel the spikes or anything!" As her eyes widened in realisation I continued, "this means it wasn't a henge. If you overload the technique with your chakra it makes it real!"

Anko grabbed me by the shoulders, "kid you have just revolutionised ninjutsu as you know it!"

I grinned at her, "nah you can thank Uzumaki Naruto for that. He was the first person I realised who could actually do that. I simply copied what he did, but I think you need really big chakra reserves so you can do it."

She looked thoughtful for a moment, "I think you're right girly. I know that Kyūbi brat has a fuck load of chakra and I could sense that you had heaps to. I'll run some tests with the other jōnin and see who can do it, hopefully Scarecrow can't do it that bastard."

I rolled my eyes, "whatever Anko-nee, let's just perfect this ninjutsu already. I want to actually get some sleep tonight."

* * *

**Haha yep it's getting onto the actual mimicking part now.**

**Every time I finish a chapter, it'll most likely finish with Alice learning something from Anko. There was softy moments and all that stuff, but hopefully at least one of you laughed.**

**I'm nearly up to forty reviews though! Happy times guys!**

**I also have a cover to this story. It was drawn by me so that you know what Alice looks like. Hopefully it was good.**

**See you soon!**


	11. Act 1 Part 8: Nightmares and truth

**Wow in one day I got five reviews like, bang, bang, bang! It was so awesome for me! A special mention to Arcami for being the fortieth reviewer. Huzzah!**

**This was wrote quickly after the last chapter because I was **_**just that bored.**_** It feels like I can't find anymore good fan fiction stories. I want an OC story that I haven't read, is funny, and won't bore me half to death. I'm a picky bitch who, if it's not good in the first chapter, I won't read it at all. I'm just really bored of FF now.**

**Which isn't good.**

**Ah well, here's some Alicey-goodness to make me feel better. Well writing it is annoying, but I love Alice too much to not write about her!**

**MAJOR WARNING: There will not be lemons or limes! It's just a fluffy sort of thing I decided to add to the story. I'm sorry if you dislike it, or the slightly depressing stuff before it. I promise I'm just clearing out all of Alice's angst and making Sasuke feel slightly more comfortable (or awkward) around her. Please don't kill me after this! I was just releasing some fluffy feelings I gathered last night from a story. The adorableness!**

**Anyway, here we go!**

* * *

**Disclaimer: **_The war is nearly over! What are we gonna do when it ends?! I don't own Naruto as well_

**Warning: **_Gah! L-a-n-g-u-a-g-e. What does that spell? There's fucking language. Also a warning of severely strange Inception, dismembering and the last of Alice's family angst! Oh and there's some fluff as well. Quite touching really._

* * *

**Alice P.O.V.**

I went to bed feeling exhausted. Anko had made me experiment with the Henge so long I had chakra exhaustion! Well considering the fact I was ridiculously overpowering the technique might've had something to do with that. I hadn't got much further in transforming, it seemed the best I could do was change my hair colour slightly. I had changed it to Sakura's bubble gum pink after I practised changing into Anko.

So not too much success so far, but I was still excited to do more training on the Henge.

I crawled silently through the window Anko had unlocked to kidnap me and staggered over to my 'bed.' Although the couch wasn't the comfiest place to sleep, it was almost like a home base. I always felt safe under the thin blanket there.

Unfortunately I seemed to forget my comment from earlier on that day.

* * *

I woke with a start. Anko wasn't here so why did I wake up so quickly? Gazing at the off-white ceiling I tried my best to wake up and think. Slowly a thought came to me, wasn't everything in Sasuke's house either white or a warm brown colour? The colour of this looked exactly like….

I sat upright and stared around at the once familiar room. My keyboard and guitars sat in the corner of the small room and the chest of draws I had for so long rested at the end of my patchwork bed.

The frame of my bed shook as I slowly crawled out of it. I brushed my fingers against the chest as I walked to the end of my bed. My school uniform was folded over the bed like it always was, waiting for me to get changed for school.

I bit my lip and changed into the uniform as tears threatened to spill over. I glanced at my alarm clock and yelped when I realised that I was going to be late for the bus if I didn't leave now.

Racing downstairs, I grabbed a banana and my schoolbag that was always waiting for me at the door. Cramming my shoes on, I ran down the street to the bus stop. I knew my parents and brother were either at work or training when I woke up, so I wasn't too worried about not seeing them.

I was a bit curious as to why my guy friend wasn't at the bus stop waiting for me. He normally rode the bus with me until where my old school used to be. I brushed the thought aside as I leapt onto the bus and flashed my bus card at the bus driver. I ignored the weird look he gave me as I walked down to the back to my usual seat.

I didn't have my IPod, but I was content to simply stare out the window as the bus began its hour trip to school. The trip seemed to fly by, the only noticeable thing was that everyone seemed to be acting strangely on this bus, a lot of whispering to each other. Curious.

Also, none of the kids from my school were on the bus. Maybe I didn't realise there was a teachers strike or something along those lines. Ah well, it didn't really matter, one of my friends was always there at school anyway.

I hopped off the bus at the train station and began to walk to school. Again people seemed to be whispering to each other as I walked, but I couldn't see through the tinted car windows to see if it was them. Where was the whispering coming from?

Ignoring the chills going up my spine and the sense of foreboding now lying heavily in my gut, I slowly trudged to the lights in front of the school. As I walked across the street, the whispering increased and I could now feel stares of the people queuing in their cars. Mega creepy.

I could hear the normal noises of school as I swiped on the swipe machine just inside of the main quad where my girls sat.

My girls….That weird dream about the Narutoverse made it seem like I hadn't seen them in ages! I could feel my pulse quicken as I hurried into the cool light of the open area where most of my year sat.

A flash of red dyed hair caught my attention. That was….haha Rich Bitch! My ever rude friend Molly's hair flicked from between a sudden crowd of people. I halted as many people of my year group blocked my view. The soccer boys, drama kids, the book readers…

"Hey guys!" I smiled at them, "what is it? Did I miss something? Am I wearing the wrong clothes? Like is it mufti-day?" I was wearing the same uniform as them, what I wasn't wearing was the looks of what I knew to be disgust and fear on their face.

Backing away slightly I tried to look over them to where my friends were. "MOLLY?!" I jumped up to see, "where the hell are you Rich Bitch?!"

Scowling at the crowd in front of me I tried to reason with them, "c'mon guys stop messing around."

A boy from my class last year, Julian, stepped forward. I watched him cautiously as he slowly walked towards me, "Julian? What are you doing?" Unlike the others, his face was a look of….pure, cold…..rage.

Deciding to just go for it, I sprinted straight into the crowd. "MOVE IT OR LOSE IT!" I should've realised something was up when I managed to do a deep slide under a boy's grasping arm. I could've never done that, I didn't have enough flexibility. Ignoring the thought, it took another two minutes for me to muscle my way through the crowd. When I basically fell through the last gap, it seemed like everything was silent.

Six of them. All six of my girls were sitting down on the benches that we always sat at, chatting with no care in the world. Like a mob didn't form right in front of them.

I crept slowly towards them, it felt like a dream. "Molly," the whisper came softly from my throat, but the dyed red head stiffened all the same. "Megsy, Josie, Jen, Annie, Lu!" I began to run towards the girls that were just turning to face me. I was about to hug the dark frame of Jen when an iron grip closed around my arm.

"Josie?..." I trembled slightly under Josie's uncharacteristically dark glare. Her naturally ginger hair seemed to sway angrily as her glare bored into my eyes, "Jose what's wrong?"

"Freak."

I recoiled slightly at her venomous tone and her words, "what?! Jose what the hell is-"

A piercing scream came from my left and I turned to find petite Annie had fallen off her bench. The worst part was the way she was gazing at me with terrified eyes as she struggled back into a corner. She was dragging herself by her arms as she kept her petrified blue eyes on me, like I was going to kill her.

I reached out towards her with my free arm when Molly clenched onto that one as well. Her baleful blue eyes glared at me as she tugged on my arms painfully. She was so much shorter than me, but this time she actually looked threatening. Molly was our little spitfire, but this was the first time I felt scared when I faced her.

"You disgust me."

I was choking back sobs as Jen's scared and disgusted voice came from behind me. Lu circled me warily and alternated between glaring and looking terrified.

"What are you doing guys?" My left arm felt like it was burning. I didn't know if it was from Molly's iron grip or not, but judging by the way she hissed and let go of my arm, it was hurting her to. Angry, red burns boiled under Molly's skin as she gripped her wrist, "what did you do freak!"

"I didn't do anything?!" I ripped my arm from Josie's grasp and tried to walk towards her, "Mol-"

"Don't come near me!" Molly was now terrified as she cowered on the ground. "Just get away from here abomination! You're a soulless monster who is going to kill us all!"

Jen shoved me from behind, "just leave us alone!"

Josie shoved my from my right side, "go away freak!"

Meg clawed at my face, "who do you think you are?!"

Lu pulled at my hair as I stumbled towards her and shoved me down, "why are you still here?"

A sharp kick came from the now angry Annie, "I don't want you near me!"

Finally a now upright Molly kicked me under me arched stomach and sent my into a standing position, "go you psycho murdering bitch!"

I was openly crying now as my friends continued to play a cruel game of shoves. One that involved punching, kicking and Karate moves from Josie's way. I stumbled around blindly until the girls were suddenly gathered in front of me. All of them wore cruel smiles, "you were never our friend! We took pity on you, you poor frightened _rat_. You are just a heartless bitch who lives for no one but herself. You're a freak of nature and shouldn't live!"

I was feeling concussed from the beating, so I couldn't see who kicked me, but I felt the sharp pain as I flew back. I slowly fell, it felt like forever. The mob were waiting for me and began to tear at me as I fell down into oblivion.

The only thing I felt was the cold burning sensation in my left arm as I fell forever.

* * *

I gasped and flailed around, oh Kami it was so dark. There was just me and a void of dark nothingness, but I could see blobs of colour coming my way.

"Mum, dad?" I staggered upright as my parents walked towards me. "Mum! Dad! I've missed you so much! I didn't know where you were, and I jus-"

"You are no child of mine."

I flinched as those harsh words came from mum's mouth. "Mum! Please not you to! Why is this happening? I'm so confused and-"

"You never stop talking." Dad's aqua eyes glared into mine. He was the nice one, he would never do this to me! I looked at him pleadingly as I dragged my beaten legs towards him, "you don't mean that Ojii-san. Remember! I always called you Ojii-san a-"

"Yes and I always called you demon child." Dad's mouth curled up in a cruel smile that I had never seen him wear. Mum smirked and grabbed dad's hand, "we simply made sure you were never around when we told our friends that." She laughed scornfully and turned away, "I hope you rot in hell murder."

"MUM! DAD!"

They slowly disappeared and I was left alone in the darkness. I simply collapsed forward and stared down into more darkness. There was no floor, but I seemed to be able to lay down on something solid. The darkness began to ripple and I watched in horror as it turned into a mirror. I was standing upright now, but I didn't notice, I was too bust staring in horror at what was in front of me.

My body gazed back at me with a twisted smile on its face. A yellow eye glared at me and the black of its eye seemed to never end. There was a purple-black skin colour around that eye that crept down its face and down its left arm. The arm was a mottled colour with long, piercing nails that reached out at me.

_You are a monster child._

I shook my head at the hissing monster version of me, "no I'm not!"

_Oh yes you are my dear. You can lie to yourself, but you can't lie to your 'loved ones.' The true fact is that no one truly loves you. You're despised and scorned. Feared and hated. You are an abomination to human nature._

I guess what was the equivalent to Yami-Alice smirked at me, the strangely coloured skin was slowly taking over the regularly coloured skin. Its hair was spiking up and I could see a horn slowly twisting out of the left side of her head.

"Screw you!" I put the finger up at Yami-Alice, "I'll never be like you!"

It merely chuckled and ran its grotesquely long tongue over its sharp teeth.

_Just embrace your inner nature, your true nature. I promise that everything will be better. Let the darkness take over, become part of me._

The long folds of Shingami's cloak swept over me and I went tumbling backwards again. I only fell for a short time, but I now found myself back at home in the living room.

"A dream," I panted, "it was just a dream." I clutched at my chest as my heart beat wildly, "everything's alright Alice." I felt myself calm down and my heart slow. I looked around the room that was joint to the kitchen, "I wonder what day it is?"

A low thrum of noise brought my attention to the teenager who was facing away from me as he bobbed his head along to the earphones in his ear. I grinned at the back of his dark hair with natural blond highlights, "Dobe!"

He didn't respond as he continued to listen to his music at full belt. As usual. I flipped over the long couch he was sitting on and leaned into him, "you won't guess the dream I just had!" My brother usually listened to my dreams and so I rambled on loudly (so he could hear) about the strange dream of meeting Shingami and going to the Narutoverse. I described my experiences with Team Seven and how I had Anko as my teacher. As I finished telling him about how I had made Sasuke trip down the stairs at his house, my brother finally moved.

But he stood up and walked away without another word.

"Hey Dobe!" I marched after him, "are you on your male PMS again? I don't especially want to deal with you being all pissy and shit again."

"Well imagine my pain of having to experience living with you for fourteen years." Normally I would've laughed at such a comment, but that wasn't the bored tone he normally used, or the slightly amused one. It was mocking and pain-filled, like it had actually hurt him to be even near me.

I stumbled slightly at that, "what do you mean Dobe?"

His frigid aqua eyes bored into mine with such a look of _hatred, _I felt tears begin to well up again. "D-dobe please!"

"D-dobe please," he mocked in a high-pitched voice. His eyes hardened again as he advanced on me, his three inches felt like much more when he towered over me. "I'm so sick of you! I'm always putting up with your bitching and moaning, you're not even worth a second of my time!" He smiled kindly at me, something that scared me more than his unusual yelling. "Remember all those times we had _so _much fun together?! Laughing, playing, wrestling? Well fuck those times!" His hand snapped across my face, "they mean nothing to me!"

Another hand crashed across my face, this time it was a fist. A merciless beating came from my brother as I tried to half-heartedly fend him off, "please stop!"

A fist stopped right before my nose, "stop?" His eyes glimmered dangerously, "I'll stop when I've eradicated your useless existence off this planet!" The fist smashed into my face and I felt my nose cave in from the force of it.

I cradled my nose and tried to blink away the blurriness that blocked my view. I saw the shape of my brother stare at me before spitting on me and walking off.

A cold, burning rage began to build up in my gut. I couldn't hear anything over the roaring sound that filled my ears and drowned everything else out. I gnashed my teeth as my nose clicked into place and I began to advance towards my laughing brother's form. I curled my clawed fingers and flexed out my mottled arms. I brushed against my brothers' neck and laughed when his startled face turned to me.

"Repentance." I stabbed my claws into his aqua eyes. Red blood stained his tanned kin as I slowly slid the nails down through his head, like a hot knife through butter. I continued to slowly dismember what used to be my siblings, taking my time with each and every limb.

I watched as a creature feasted on my brothers' corpse. That is me?...What is going on? I'm so confused…

I let out a scream as the creature, which looked halfway transformed between me and Shingami, turned to face me. Blood slid down its fanged mouth as it snarled at me, before licking its lips. It prowled towards me slowly, a predator never hurried after easy prey. I stood stiffly as it circled closer and didn't make a sound as it leapt at me.

* * *

I woke up with a scream.

My throat was hurting and my scream was hoarse, but I continued on loudly. I couldn't breathe under the suffocating darkness that seemed to surround me. I couldn't tell if I was dreaming, or truly awake. What was really reality?

I began to cry loudly, I was scared and I felt sick to my core. I had killed my brother! I had killed my brother. Killed my brother. Killed my brother.

The mantra kept repeating in my head as I rocked back and forth. My arms were wrapped around my legs and I continued to sob into my chest loudly. The darkness was suffocating and scary, but I was more scared of what I was going to see when the light turned on. I just kept crying and rocking back and forth.

"Alice?"

* * *

**3****rd**** Person P.O.V.**

Sasuke woke with a start as a loud, piercing scream echoed around his room. Instantly a kunai was in his hand and he slid silently out of bed. The scream made him cringe from the shrill sound, and from the amount of raw emotions in it.

Fear, despair and panic were all heard in the scream.

Sasuke dropped the kunai as he realised the now sobbing noise was from Alice downstairs. He sprinted out of the room and easily cleared the stairs in his haste to get to the clearly distraught girl.

The sobs were slightly muffled, but Sasuke could hear something being mumbled under Alice's breath as she rocked back and forth on the couch. Her face was buried in her arms and he could barely hear the words she was saying, but when he did catch it, his blood ran cold.

"I killed my brother. Killed my brother. Killed him. Killed him."

Sasuke crept over to the girl and crouched down in front of her so he was in eye-level with her. He reached out to touch her but hesitated.

"Alice?"

* * *

Alice snapped her gaze up to the barely visible boy that crouched in front of her. She could barely see him because of the way his dark hair, eyes and clothes seemed to blend into the night. But his pale skin shone in the weak moonlight that came in through her Escape window. Her eyes were drawn to the onyx ones that stared at her with an expression she had never seen on him before.

She felt more tears pool in her eyes as the worried eyes bore into hers. Alice slowly hung her head and leaned forward until she was touching his chest with her forehead. He tensed at her touch, but Alice ignore that, she just wanted to feel that someone was alive. And that they wouldn't run from her.

She hiccupped slightly, "Sasuke."

* * *

When Sasuke had said her name, Alice's head had tucked out from her arms and her eyes were instantly staring into his. He felt like he was drowning for a moment as her emerald eyes seemed to glow in the darkness. Her normally tied up hair was mussed from sleep and curled around her shoulders and down her back. But Sasuke didn't take any of that in, he was too focused on the tears that were beginning to develop in her eyes.

He felt a weird sensation in his heart when he stared at her sad and panicked eyes. Without knowing, his expression softened further, not pity, but understanding. He too had woken up afraid and alone after nightmares, and judging from what she had said before, it was a bad one.

He watched as she slowly hung her head and leant forward. A hot feeling burned his chest as Alice leaned her head against his chest. Sasuke couldn't help but tense at the contact, but then relaxed when she realised that was all she was going to do.

A small hiccup was heard from her as tears began to dampen his sleeping shirt. "Sasuke."

Her voice was raw and tired sounding, like she had seen so much that night and he was the best thing that had happened. Sasuke huffed out a breath and hesitantly placed a hand on her head.

Instead of tensing like he thought she would, Alice seemed to relax further at his touch. Sasuke began to slowly run his hand down her hair in a soothing manner, much like his mother used to do when he had nightmares when he was little.

Alice sniffled into his chest, "I'm sorry."

Again her voice sounded tired, and unnaturally defeated. This was not the loud and proud Alice Sasuke knew. Her bravado was gone, and she broke down for the second time that day. Only this time, Sasuke was the one there to comfort her.

* * *

Alice wasn't too sure what to do next. She was so tired, but the idea of being down here alone actually scared her. It scared her as much as the thought of her brother being dead since that image would haunt her as soon as she was alone.

She gently tugged on Sasuke's shirt, "Sasuke?"

A slight shift of material was heard as he leant down to where her face was buried into his shirt. Alice was suddenly feeling very shy, "do you-do you think I could sleep with you tonight? I just…I don't want to be alone tonight."

She felt Sasuke stiffen slightly at her request, but was surprised at his answer. "Ah..yeah Alice. Just this one time okay?"

He sounded unsure when he asked it, but Alice nodded and began to stand up. Sasuke quickly rose up and grabbed the hand that wasn't fisted in his shirt to guide her. He slowly began to walk up the stairs with the unsteady brunette, very aware that his father wouldn't be pleased about his actions.

But he surprisingly didn't care.

Alice clung to Sasuke as they entered Sasuke's room, a plain room with unassuming features. Alice didn't notice any of the décor though, Sasuke was busy guiding her to the large, double bed that had rumpled sheets at the end.

Alice let go of Sasuke's hand and shirt so she could crawl over to the other side of the bed. She curled on her side as Sasuke climbed onto his side.

Sasuke lay on his back with his arms by his side, he stared at the ceiling stubbornly. The bed suddenly shifted as Alice leant down and pulled the sheets up and over her, cocooning herself tightly.

Onyx eyes glanced towards her, but Alice's emerald eyes were boring into him. She looked extremely shy and quickly slid her eyes shut. Sasuke stared at her for a moment before turning his gaze back to the ceiling.

A moment of silence passed until Alice's whisper, "Sasuke?"

Said boys gaze drifted down to her, "hn?"

She hesitated slightly before looking determined. She shifted closer to the Uchiha, close enough for the Uchiha to start panicking slightly, but the girl merely tucked her head firmly into his side and curled up next to him.

A burning feeling came from Alice's contact again, Sasuke didn't know what to do. His arms were by his side, but Alice had managed to shift under his left arm. His arm lay limply over her shoulder, hot fire pulsing across his arm.

Alice's body heat was strangely hot, like a small furnace next to Sasuke. Her touch warmed him easily, better than any blanket he had ever had. He mentally shrugged and slowly relaxed, letting his whole posture loosen again.

* * *

Wherever Alice touched Sasuke, his cool body temperature seemed to sooth her burning skin. She always felt flushed after a nightmare, but never sweaty. This was also the first time she had screamed because of a nightmare.

It was also the first time Sasuke had ever had a girl in his bed.

A night of firsts it seemed.

Alice was content to listen to Sasuke's breath even out as he fell asleep. She had always craved human contact, so Sasuke was correct to let her lie next to him. Her eyelids slowly slid shut and she fell asleep not too long after Sasuke.

* * *

The sun's rays slowly peeked through the open window of Sasuke's room. The sunlight lit up the forms currently sleeping on the bed.

Alice stirred slightly before dropping into a deeper slumber, her arms tightening on what she was holding.

Sasuke shifted and nuzzled deeper into the sweet smelling stuff his face was buried into.

Alice was gripping onto Sasuke's left arm as she lay her head on his shoulder. Her head was tucked under Sasuke's, his face was buried into her hair that was bunched around her head. The two of them were sleeping soundly as the sheets of the bed were tangled around their intertwined legs.

A bird chirped loudly from outside and Alice again stirred from the annoying sound. Her eyelids slid open and then blinked sleepily at the small rays of sunlight that managed to reach her. She felt warm and comfortable, like she felt when she was wrapped up in winter under her blankets.

Alice wiggled her head further into her pillow to get comfortable, but stiffened at the definitely harder surface. The pillow Sasuke had given her for the couch downstairs wasn't quite _this _hard.

Flashes of the night before sped through her mind.

_Friends. Betrayed. Parents. Monster. Mirror. Abomination. Yami-Alice. Shingami. Dobe. Beating. Burning. Rage. Pride. Blood. BROTHER DEAD!_

Alice shook away the fears from the dream and focused on what happened next.

_Crying. Screaming. Onyx. Soft. Fisted hand. Hand in hers. Sasuke's bedroom. Scared. Shy. Cool. Content._

She stiffened as she realised where she was. She carefully shifted her head and then froze as Sasuke moved. His left arm pulling on the two of her own that were wrapped around his. Her hands in his. Sasuke's arm pulled her more firmly against him, his head buried deeply into her hair.

A slight squeaking noise came from Alice, Sasuke was practically cuddling her! And the deal was sealed when Sasuke's right arm was slung over her.

'Take deep breaths Alice.' She chanted, 'it'll be okay as long as he doesn't wake up!'

She wanted to murder the god responsible for Sasuke to mumble slightly as slowly wake up. 'Yeah fuck you to Karma.'

* * *

Sasuke slowly woke up to a scent of apple and something spicy, like cinnamon. He breathed in the delicious scent of his pillow and wondered when it got so soft.

He was still sleepy when he felt something warm in his arms, and didn't flinch at the slight squeak that came from the tightening of his arms. Deciding he should check out what was so warm, he slowly slid his head from the pillow and rested his chin on the top of his shoulder.

His sleepy, onyx eyes stared into wide emerald ones. He smiled slightly at the colour, "such a nice shade of green…"

Again the squeaking noise sounded.

Sasuke leaned back and looked at what was in his arms. A light blue t-shirt and pink shorts with long, tanned legs coming from those shorts. Again a sleepy smile stole across his face as he leaned his head against whatever was on his chest.

That nice shade of green was still there and he took time to stare at the lovely emerald. He continued to stare at it, feeling disappointed whenever it disappeared, but it was only for a second.

"Sasuke."

Whoever had whispered had said his name. Feeling slightly more alert he grunted in reply.

"Sasuke I think you need to let go of me."

He breathed in the spicy apple taste, "mmnnn?"

"C'mon Sasuke, wake up."

The warmth in his arms began to wriggle and squirm, "Sasuke. I'm warning you, wake up already!"

The shout of wake up certainly woke him up. He just wished he could go straight back to sleep, or pass out, at what he saw.

Alice's face was exceptionally close to his, merely inches away. Her panicked eyes looked pleadingly at him, her tanned face looked slightly pink. Sasuke could count the freckles across her nose and cheeks, he never really could see them before.

Her hands were gripped in his left, and he could feel that his right arm was thrown over her. The reason why she was pinned against him.

And judging by the feelings of his legs, he would have to guess that his legs were tangled with hers.

Heat instantly exploded up his face and he betted a hundred yen that his normally pale cheeks were bright red. He slowly leaned his head back from Alice, "uhhhh," he said intelligently.

"Yeah," replied Alice, "I think we should let go of each other's hands."

Sasuke slowly unclasped his hand from Alice's two, instantly feeling the loss of warmth. He carefully retracted that arm, and the one that was slung over her.

Alice gently tugged her legs from his and Sasuke was quick to do the same.

Both of them stared at each other for a moment. "I think you should take your head off…" Sasuke spoke quietly and trailed off at the end.

"Oh! Yeah!" Alice lifted her head off Sasuke's shoulder as the boy let her untuck herself from under his chin.

The two never broke eye contact throughout the whole mauver, both highly embarrassed about the situation. Alice carefully slid out of Sasuke's personal space, "I'm really sorry about that. I am rather clingy sometimes and I always like human contact so…"

Sasuke swallowed nervously, "heh yeah…It can be my fault as well. It sometimes takes me a while to wake up in the morning so...Sorry about, nuzzling your hair and stuff."

Alice smiled slightly, "nah I'm surprised you even liked the feel of it! And I'm sorry for grabbing your arm and lying on you, it must've been uncomfortable."

"Not really." Sasuke paused at the strange look Alice was giving him, "I mean you were warm! And your hair smells really good! And..and!"

"Chill Sasuke," laughed Alice, "let's just pretend this never happened and keep the awkwardness to a minimum okay?"

Sasuke nodded, "I can agree with that."

A more playful smile curled up Alice's lips, "so you were blushing. You were flustered, _and _you can be clingy. You're sleepy in the morning and if I sleep on you again, I could get this reaction from you once more." She looked thoughtful for a moment, "I wonder if your whole face will flush if I lie on you completely.."

Sasuke spluttered, "shut up Alice!"

Said girl smirked at him, "stop acting so out of character Sasuke! It's just little, ol' me, your friendly neighbourhood Alice!"

Sasuke scowled at her, "you retard."

"There's you usual charm," cheered Alice. She was smiling at Sasuke cheekily, "shouldn't we get up for training?"

"No," disagreed Sasuke, "it's the weekend idiot."

"Oh."

There was a slight pause between them as they continued to stare at each other. Sasuke narrowed her eyes at Alice, "can you get the hell out of my bed."

"Do I have to? It's so comfy!"

"Get the hell out now!"

* * *

**And there it is! The maker or breaker of my readers. The scene will make you love, or hate this thing.**

**Also, there won't be a scene like this for a long time.**

**That's all the angst, fluff, and OOCness for a while now. It's going to focus on Alice's ties to the village, her progress, and lots of weird things with Team Seven.**

**The reason why I wrote that scene?**

**I had just read **_**Endear me**_** last night. It's one of the only stories to make me feel actually happy about an intimate scene. If you haven't read that story, you should. If it made my romance-hating heart like it, it's gotta be good.**

**Sasuke OOCness.**

**Sasuke felt both sorry and understanding to Alice. That's why he comforted her, because no one had done that to him in ages and he knew how much she needed it.**

**Sasuke let Alice come into his bed to sleep purely for a few reasons. Both he and Alice were tired and he knew Alice wasn't going to sleep much that night, when she said she could sleep better that way, he simply did as she asked. He was also tired, it's like one or two in the morning and his brain is fried. **

**Sasuke let Alice get close to him because frankly, he was surprised and shocked. Therefore he didn't have a chance to say no. He also found her heat quite nice, he thought she would just lie there for the whole night.**

**Alice woke up first from her slight insomnia, that she wakes with the sun. Sasuke **_**is **_**a trained ninja, but after a week of training, he's just a young boy who likes his sleep. I made him a slow waker in relaxed situations for this reason.**

**Why was he flustered and blushing? If I found a guy right in front of me, kissing width apart, I would be flustered to. Sasuke (surprisingly) does have a heart, and as they say, no matter who you are, you're still a man.**

**Hope that clears up some stuff. See you soon!**

**(Oh look 6000 words. Yay for me)**


	12. Act 1 Part 9: Sakura Day

**Fuck school! I come back and you goddamn want me to do tests and assignments? Man I can't think in the holidays, let alone doing a maths test first thing in the morning.**

**And school you dare keep me from writing?!**

**Yes, blame school on my 'slow' update. It's school's fault that I didn't update sooner, but here you are~**

* * *

**Disclaimer: **_Naruto and anything referenced here I don't own_

**Warning: **_Probably language_

* * *

**3****rd**** Person P.O.V.**

Alice slowly drifted around the marketplace. Looking around hesitantly she cursed, she was only slightly lost, how hard was it to find that store with Sasuke's favourite tomatoes?

As she scanned the crowd for the small cart that sold really good vegetables, a flash of pink caught her attention.

Grinning slightly, Alice made her way over to a calm looking Sakura who was looking over a butchers' stall.

The basket in Alice's' arm thumped against her side from the weight of that weeks' groceries. She felt so happy that she wasn't shopping for more than her and Sasuke, carrying all that would be nearly impossible.

"Hey Sakura-chan!"

Said girl started at the shout of her name and turned to see a smiling Alice bound towards her.

"Hi Alice." Sakura shifted her own basket to the side as Alice hugged her. "Shopping as well are you? Quite a lot of food you've got there."

Alice shrugged slightly and pulled away from Sakura, "yeah, between Sasuke and I we eat a lot." She glared sullenly at the basket of food, "I really dislike shopping sometimes, and today is one of those days."

Sakura smiled at Alice's facial expression, "maybe it would be better if you were to shop with a friend?"

"That would be cool," agreed Alice. "Shopping with my little Sakura-chan huh?" She suddenly gasped and pointed at Sakura, "wait! My cute little imōto shopping all by herself! How dangerous is that?!"

Sakura rolled her eyes before punching Alice's shoulder, "quit being melodramatic, _nee-san_."

"No need to say it sarcastically," sniffed Alice, "I just adopted you as my little sister. I didn't make you call me master or anything."

"You wouldn't have done that," Sakura commented as she paid for her meats. Placing the meat into her basket she looked up, and then paled at Alice's quirked eyebrow, "you so would've."

Alice merely patted her on her head and made her way into the steady stream of people walking around to shop. "Hey Sakura do you know where that really good vegetable store is? You know the one with the awesome cucumber and lettuce?"

Sakura rolled her eyes again, "that's really helpful Alice."

"Shut up." Alice spun in a quick circle to see everywhere, "it's like Mono-no that's no right. Momo? Mokon…Mokuton? Motorbike?-"

"You mean Mokundo."

"Yes that's right," Alice beamed at Sakura, "I'm glad someone knows their way around here!"

Sakura smothered a laugh, "and how long has Sasuke-kun been making you do the shopping for him? Two weeks? Three?"

"Four," Alice said sullenly. "He was a real ass about it as well. He was all like, 'Alice go do the shopping.' No, 'Alice could you go shopping for us?' Or even a, 'please Alice?' What a douchebag."

"Sasuke-kun isn't a douchebag," flushed Sakura. "He's just-"

"A bigger dick than you had realised before?" Alice gave Sakura a knowing look, "sweetheart you need to get over this crush. Sasuke doesn't want his teammate to be a girl who's over him all the time and fawning over him. He doesn't even have feelings towards the opposite gender yet, he says after he has revenge he'll begin to work on rebuilding his clan. And honey," Alice shot a look at Sakura, "there will be no love involved."

Sakura flushed red at her statements, Sasuke-kun would eventually like her. Statistics show that if she continued to chase him, the odds would land in her favour. And an Uchiha would land in her lap.

A giggle bubbled up from her throat, but a hand whacking her on the side of her stopped it.

"Stop thinking perverted thoughts."

A bigger flush came over Sakura, "I wasn't!"

"I smell bullshit."

"Shut up Alice."

"Whatever." Alice looked at Sakura seriously as they came to a stop near a stall, "Sakura-chan…I need to be blunt and honest for you to realise how wrong chasing after Sasuke is. First of all," Alice folded her arms as she leant back on the posts of a cart, "have you noticed Sasuke is talking to you more recently then any time before?"

A thoughtful look came over Sakura, Alice was right. In the past week or two, Sasuke-kun had been actually saying a few words to her here and there. Sure they were usually a command or agreement with Kakashi-sensei, but they were words.

Alice mouth twitched as Sakura nodded hesitantly. "The reason he has been talking to you is because you've been taking your training more seriously. I know you've been studying those medical books and practising chakra control exercises, it's been showing! Your chakra control was good before but with the exercises you've been doing, it's become amazing! I reckon you're ready to practise using medical chakra!"

A blush worked its way across Sakura's face, no one had praised her chakra control skills so much. And it seemed so honest!

"But."

Sakura knew it was too good to be true.

"As soon as you see Sasuke at training, your super amazingly, smart brain turns to mush. You make a fool of yourself when you blush and stutter around Sasuke. You're never training because you're looking at Sasuke. You're neglecting yourself so you can look at some kid with a few good looks?! That's bullshit Sakura! It's stupid as fuck and you know it."

"But…" Sakura's gaze drifted down and she played with the basket in her hands nervously, "I think I….I might lo-"

"Stop."

Sakura's eyes shot straight up into Alice's serious gaze. Emerald green and jade eyes stared into each other. One serious and hard, the other nervous and surprised.

"You do not love Uchiha Sasuke."

Sakura flinched slightly from Alice's words, "no I really do l-"

"You are twelve," Alice deadpanned. "You're young, naïve and haven't even brushed the going into puberty stage, you won't truly love someone until many years in the future." Alice placed a hand on Sakura's shoulder, "you think Sasuke looks good and that attracts you, but it is nowhere near what love is."

The hand was shrugged off Sakura's shoulder, "no I really do love Sasuke-kun! I thin-"

"You think he is a good-looking boy who's mysterious and charismatic." The hand was placed softly on Sakura's head, "but you don't love him."

Tears began to form in Sakura's eyes, "but I thought..it felt like what they said love felt like. I had butterflies in my tummy every time I looked at him and I felt my heart race when I was anywhere near him. That can't be anything but love!" Wiping away the tears in her eyes, Sakura sniffled slightly and stared down at the ground.

Alice's hand ruffled Sakura's hair lightly, "listen Sakura-chan." A smile that was softer than Sakura had ever on Alice's face tilted her lips up, Alice's other hand was tilting Sakura's chin up to look at her. "You have so much time in front of you, I know there's better looking guys out there. Better personalities and better people to pretty girls like you. You just have to wait." She grinned goofily at Sakura, "the butterflies and stuff you're feeling is just interacting with boys of your age. I knew around your age I was constantly screwing up my speech with nerves whenever I talked to someone, both boy and girl."

"Stop talking all superior," hiccupped Sakura, "you're only two years older than me."

Alice's eyes sparked happily, "and don't you forget that Sakura-chan! Now let's go and find that delicious vegetable store and get to training!"

"Yeah!" Sakura chirped determinately as she linked arms with Alice, "I'll train harder than ever before!"

Alice laughed lightly, "I wouldn't expect anything else from my imōto!"

The duo began to make their way out of the small corner they had been conversing, between a building and a small cart that sold jewellery.

Sakura tugged Alice by their linked arms towards a familiar looking stall that had buckets of vegetables and fruits around it.

"Hey obā-san!" Alice waved her hand holding the basket at the old woman who ran the store, "I have come for Uchiha-san's usual delivery!"

"Of course Alice-chan," the old woman smiled at the pink-haired girl next to her usual customer, "and I see you have brought a friend."

Sakura dipped in a bow, "it's a pleasure to meet you miss."

The old woman chuckled lightly, "youths these days…"

"I know what you mean," Alice rolled her eyes, "so strangely polite when they want to be!"

Sakura glared at the brunette, "shut up Alice! I'll say it again, you're only two years older than me! That doesn't make you old!"

"My, my, my," a new voice entered the conversation, "I thought I heard the horrible screeching of Forehead."

A girl of Sakura's age glared at the pinkette with dull brown eyes as she leant against the counter the old woman was behind. The girl flicked her dark indigo hair from her face and smirked at the surprised Sakura, "what are you doing showcasing that huge forehead around here. You're gonna scare all of the boys away with that ugly mug of yours."

Alice frowned at the girls harsh words but stayed quiet, Sakura was strong enough to fight her own battles.

"Ami!" Sakura looked at the girl surprised, "I haven't seen you since the academy!"

The girl Ami snorted, "too busy sucking up to Sasuke-kun I bet. What would he see in an ugly girl like you?"

Sakura flushed, but this time it was angry flush that sparked her eyes with rage. "I am a kunoichi Ami, I don't have time for such trivial things as chasing after boys. It'll get me killed, but you wouldn't know about that, would you?"

Sakura's voice was dripping with sweetness as she fixed a smile on her face, but her words held hidden barbs that caused Ami to bristle.

"Shut up Forehead!"

"Great come back Ami," Sakura rolled her eyes, "you should write a book."

Alice smiled at her honorary sister, she would be just fine. Turning back to the old woman she smiled at her, "girls are funny things aren't they obā-san?"

"Quite," she agreed amused. "Here's Uchiha-san's usual order Alice-chan."

Alice beamed in reply and grabbed the bundle of fruits and vegetables the old woman handed to her, including a large bunch of tomatoes. As she stored the food away, an indignant sound came from behind her.

"Why are you buying Sasuke-kun's food?!" Ami glared at the older girl that quirked an eyebrow at her. She ignored the fact that the girl was older, her eyes were a brighter and more interesting shade than hers, or the fact that she actually had boobs, she was buying food for her Sasuke-kun!

"Alice lives with Sasuke-kun," Sakura said smugly, "how could you not know that Ami?"

Said girl spluttered unintelligently, this…bimbo! Was living with Sasuke-kun?! And shopping for him too! She probably cooked for him as well, or cleaned….

"You're just a maid!" Ami grinned victoriously at Alice, "you're just some hired help that Sasuke-kun took pity on! You probably lived at some brothel and Sasuke-kun was so kind to let a slut like you stay with him!"

Alice looked at the girl incredulously, "that's cool. Now I need to be somewhere, so can you move your offensive presence from my fabulous one? I don't need you tarnishing it." She hoisted her full basket onto her arm and linked arms with a smug Sakura. "Excuse me Ami-san." Alice brushed past the shocked looking girl and continued her way down the street.

Ami recovered from Alice's casual dismissal in time to shout out at her. "YOU'RE JUST SOME SLUT WHO'S MAKING UP STORIES THAT YOU LIVE WITH SASUKE-KUN!"

Alice merely stuck her hand up and waved without turning around, "I'LL TELL HIM YOU SAY HI OKAY?!"

* * *

**Alice P.O.V.**

"Ami says hi."

Sasuke twitched slightly, "what the hell do you mean?"

I smirked slightly at his grumpy expression, "some stalker chick from your academy years thinks I'm your personal slut." I looked thoughtful for a moment, "or that I'm a slut who lies about living with you. I really don't know, that girl needed to get her priorities straight."

Sasuke just grunted at me and went back to brooding on the ground as we waited for Kakashi.

I stuck my tongue out at him and turned to Sakura, "I was so proud of you trash talking her imōto! She didn't know what hit her!" I put on a tearful face, "my little girl all grown up! Flipping off other girls with her witty words, I think I might cry from happiness."

"Yeah, yeah," Sakura sighed, "proud nee-san moment and all." She then perked up slightly, "but it did feel good to tell her off. She used to bully me heaps when I was in the academy."

I saw Sasuke glance at her curiously from where he was sitting, "you were bullied?"

Sakura didn't blush at the fact that her crush was talking to her, she twitched slightly but didn't respond differently than she would to me or anyone else. "Yeah I was really bullied in my first year of the academy and even before, but after I made friends with Ino and got more confident, they didn't bother me. The only person who constantly bothered me throughout my years was that girl Ami, but Alice easily brushed her off today."

"Not after you chewed her out," I commented.

"Mn," Sakura agreed before going back to reading the large book in her lap.

I glanced over her shoulder to see medical jargon all over the page with a few confusing diagrams. Some of the words I knew from my mum but they were mixed up with ninja related words that didn't seem to add up.

"What part of medical mumbo-jumbo are you reading Sakura-chan?"

She didn't glance up from her reading, "just revising over flesh wounds so I can begin to practise using medical chakra on actual humans!"

I looked at her quizzically, "actual humans?"

"Mn," she agreed, "I managed to heal some bird's wounds last week, and I even managed to heal a large cut on a dog's paw before."

"Wow Sakura-chan," I beamed down at the girl, "I'm really proud of you! Already up to practical application after only a few weeks of studying, truly you have great potential."

Finally Sakura looked up from her book with a blush adorning her face, "y-you think so?"

I nodded, "I know so."

I knew she was going to become a medic nin greater than Tsunade herself! A true inspiration to all kunoichi out there, and since she had started early, she could become even greater.

Sakura smiled sincerely up at me, "thanks Alice, you don't know how nice it is to hear that."

I simply nodded again, "I'm happy to say the truth anytime Sakura-chan." I slowly sat down and leant against Sakura's back, both of us content to simply sit in comfortable silence. Neither Sasuke nor Sakura felt like training before actual training, and Naruto wasn't here yet, that meant no spars since we all promised all four of us would have to be here to spar.

"Sakura."

Both Sakura and I jolted at Sasuke's sudden speaking. I twisted around Sakura to see that he stood in front of Sakura with his hand sticking out in front of her book.

I could feel Sakura's heartbeat quicken at her (hopefully) old crush's proximity, "what is it Sasuke-kun?"

No stutter or blushing. Superb.

Sasuke didn't reply, instead he grabbed a kunai from his pouch and cut a thin line across the palm of his hand.

Blood pooled in his hand but he was careful not to let any drip onto the book underneath his hand. Sakura would kill even him if one of her precious books were tarnished. Trust me, I've seen it happen, and it was awesome.

I looked at the hand critically, "I didn't think you would be an emo in public Sasuke. Those displays are usually done at home, not in public."

He scowled darkly at me before offering his hand to Sakura again, "heal it."

I sighed lightly, "so blunt emo-boy. You've gotta say please once in a while, like right now. A 'please heal my stupidly self-harmed cut on my hand Sakura.' But noooooooo, you have to be an antisocial douche with the manners of a five year old."

"Shut up Alice," Sasuke glared at me.

I tapped my chin thoughtfully, "I realise that a lot of people have been saying that to me today. I wonder why?"

"Because you're an annoying bitch?" Sasuke growled at me before turning back to Sakura, "just heal my hand already Sakura."

He looked across at the dark look I plastered on my face. "Please."

Sakura merely nodded before hesitantly bringing her right hand up to hover over Sasuke's wounded hand.

I watched intently as I felt Sakura's chakra spike slightly. I then flicked my gaze towards Sasuke's blood covered hand and back to Sakura's own hand that was faintly glowing blue. She could do this.

The light blue wavered before flickering a pale green. It instantly turned back to blue but Sakura concentrated more intently on the job at hand. It flickered a few more times before it stayed a pale green glow that surrounded her hand.

I bit my lip nervously as Sakura slowly pressed her hand to Sasuke's palm. She ignored the blood that covered her own hand and continued to keep her hand a steady green colour.

After a minute of watching Sakura's green hand, she pulled away from Sasuke and slumped slightly, "oh that was hard." She rubbed her hand tiredly as she panted lightly, "how does it look Sasuke-kun?"

Said boy was currently wiping the slightly dry blood from his hand. I stood up and looked at the palm…that was perfectly healed.

"YOU DID IT SAKURA-CHAN!" I picked up the pinkette and twirled her around, "YOU ARE AN AMAZING MEDIC!"

She blinked disbelievingly, "I did it?"

I put her down on the ground and tugged Sasuke's hand so she could see it, "damn straight you did! It's perfectly healed and it doesn't hurt, does it?"

Sasuke tugged his hand back and shook his head, "no it doesn't."

He then looked slightly hesitant before lightly touching his fingers to her arm, "you did good Sakura…thank you."

I really thought she was going to pass out then.

Luckily she pulled herself together and nodded to Sasuke, "thank you for your kind compliment Sasuke-kun."

He grunted in reply before going back to his spot under the tree to brood. I guess he used all his kindness up for the day.

I perked up and turned to Sakura, "if you can take a chance and make a breakthrough, so can I!"

She blinked, "what the hell are you talking about?"

I bounced lightly on my toes as Sakura rubbed the blood off her hand, "if you can do an amazing new jutsu, so can I!"

"What jutsu are you going to try?" Sakura looked at me curiously, "and why haven't you tried it before?"

"Because I was too chicken, "I said offhandedly, "but after watching you I'm going to risk it!"

She looked at me disbelievingly, "I only know how to heal flesh wounds that are extremely minor! If you're scared to try this jutsu, I'm sure I can't heal it!"

I waved her off, "nah just watch out if I pass out or something. My chakra levels is the only thing I'm worried about, or any side effects really."

"What's the jutsu?" Sasuke asked from his emo corner.

I grinned at him before summoning up a large sum of my chakra. I carefully made a ram seal before making a snake and a tiger after it.

I had watched Naruto do this multiple times and had gotten both he and Anko (with a bribe of dango) to explain it to me. I was sure I could do this!

"Kage bushin no jutsu!"

I felt half of my chakra be sucked out of me in a huge puff of smoke, making me gasp lightly at the slight tiredness that fell across my shoulders.

I frantically blew away the smoke so I could see if I had created a clone or not. Hopefully it wasn't like my attempt at the bushin before Kakashi had made me do all those chakra control exercises.

Unfortunately, it was exactly like my first attempt of a bushin.

A pale, and extremely blurred, mass of chakra lay at my feet. I could the impression of arms and legs jutting out of it, but they were deformed and frankly disturbing. The one improvement was that the torso actually looked like mine, despite my clothes more like being black paint slathered onto it. I could also see a rather good shape of my head squashed into the torso, unfortunately it was a brownish circle-thing with no features.

"That's no bushin," choked out Sakura before she began to laugh loudly.

"I've got to agree with Sakura," smirked Sasuke, "usuratonkachi."

I huffed lightly, "at least I can sort-of do the kage bushin, just needs more practise." I poked the thing with my foot and watched as it poofed out of existence, "I was too freaked out about doing the actual jutsu. I need to work on the shape manipulation of the jutsu, basic shape first and then go from there. I need detailing because that's more important, a look-a-like of me with no personality is better than nothing."

I hummed as I began to analyse the technique. I had no clue why Naruto looked so filthy and scratched after he practised the jutsu, I only had to guess that he got frustrated and broke poor trees. I knew though, that shape manipulation was very important in a jutsu like this, something I believe Naruto was fairly good at. He got kage bushin in only a couple of hours and the shape manipulation of the Rasengan only took a day or two.

Shape manipulation it is.

"I'm going to the library later on," I declared as I prepared to try the jutsu one more time.

"Are you going to see you friend at the desk?" Sasuke said cockily from his corner.

I glared at him as I formed a ram seal, "you promised to never talk of that incidence again douchebag."

I flicked my hair at him and formed the snake and tiger seal.

The backlash of giving up half of my chakra was bigger this time, I felt like someone was actively pushing me down, that's how tired I was.

The cloud of smoke cleared to show a much better attempt of the jutsu. The kage bushin was still collapsed boneless on the ground, bones was something I needed to work on. The torso now was separate from the head by a slightly wobbly neck, the head actually an oval shape that was sharper and clearer. Arms stuck out awkwardly from the centre of the torso, not quite right there, and a bit short. Also they might need hands. The legs were by far the worst, mere logs that stuck out from the rough waist. They had no definition between the calves and thighs, not even a hint of knees and feet were non-existent.

I shrugged lightly as I looked at it critically, "could be better."

Kicking it to dispel it, I sat down and glanced towards Sasuke who had an odd look on his face. Shrugging that off, I lay back on the grass, I was going to be tired for the physical training Kakashi had promised us yesterday.

* * *

Anko grinned wickedly at me from the centre of the cellar-like room we always trained in. "You said Scarecrow had done some physical exercise with you earlier on," a proud look crossed her face, "but I bet he had nothing on our taijutsu lesson! Did he?!"

I panted harshly as I tried to get air into my protesting lungs, my arms and legs were dead weights hanging off my somehow standing body. I wearily shook my head at Anko as my chakra slowly began to recover. She had taught me to use my chakra to enhance my body but I had never been allowed to use it in training before. I wonder why she had tonight?

"You also said you had been practising the kage bushin."

I stiffened and stared fearfully at Anko's happy face, she wouldn't….

Her mockingly raised eyebrow shattered what hope I had for a theory based night on poisons that I normally enjoyed.

"I bet you didn't even take it that far…."

Yep. Goodbye world, I occasionally loved you.

* * *

**SO here's a chapter to make up my silence.**

**Do you know what else? I got heaps of reviews for my angsty/fluff chapter before! Yay for controversial chapters!**

**A quick thing here 'cos I know a lot of people will bitch about this.**

'**Kage bushin? How unoriginal.'**

'**She's too powerful, what a Mary-sue.'**

'**She can't use kage bushin, that's Naruto's technique!'**

**Umm, kage bushin is a jutsu that I believe to be a kinjustu for people who are below chunin or jōnin. In the Chunin exams, the proctors commented on how Naruto used kage bushin, they were surprised, but at the fact that a genin had used it. It actually seems like a well-known jutsue, just not that common. Alice won't be spamming clones like Naruto and using them whenever she wants, it's for the purpose of one or two clones to help her scout and spy. She won't be able to do taijuu kage bushin, just five tops at this time.**

**She's not powerful either. We now know she can do the bushin and that's about it. She's been practising the henge, but that's still ongoing. Kawarimi will be later but either than the bushin, she can't do any techniques. She can now amplify her body with chakra but that's easy. She's doing physical conditioning and weaponry will come up in the future. Kakashi is making her do team exercises with Team Seven and chakra control. She's not powerful.**

**And kage bushin being Naruto's technique? Well if Kishimoto had filled out some more plot holes, the shinobi of all countries would be using it more often. They have enough chakra and it was never stated that kage bushin was a kinjutsu since it was a Konoha jutsu. In fact, it was for the fact that it consumed too much chakra.**

**It also took me awhile to get this chapter out because I had a bit of writer's block. Here's what I tried to write earlier, think of it as a omake.**

* * *

**Special Feature: Omake 1- Foreign foods**

**Sasuke P.O.V (Holy shiznit!)**

I slowly rolled out of bed a few minutes after Alice had _finally _gotten out of my bed.

The damn girl insisted on lying in _my _bed for as long as she could. She had only decided to get out because I had kicked her out myself.

She is so annoying.

I muffled a yawn and slowly made my way downstairs and to the kitchen where Alice was most certainly was going to be. She had a veracious appetite, luckily though, she was polite enough to eat properly. Unlike a certain blond he knew.

As I walked into the kitchen, I stopped and stared as Alice navigated my kitchen like she was born in it. After only what…..six weeks? Seven weeks? Of living here, she could easily find any of the utensils and food.

I wasn't too sure if that was a good thing.

Slowly I walked over to the counter and looked at the spread of ingredients Alice had spread out on it.

There was some self-raising flour I never knew I had, along with eggs, milk and some sugar.

I didn't know what she was attempting to make with this stuff. I knew how to cook fairly well-living alone makes you desperate to learn how to cook something either than microwavable food-but I had a basic plan for breakfast.

I either ate some toast or nothing. And it was usually the nothing.

A sharp crack drew my attention to Alice as she began to add the eggs to the other ingredients in a large bowl. She mixed them around even as she began to heat a pan on the stove that was behind her.

A happy humming was coming from Alice as she put butter into the pan and watched it melt. A sizzling sound emanated from the pan when she poured the batter from the bowl, the batter forming a creamy round shape in the centre.

I scrutinised whatever the hell Alice was cooking, "how do you know how to cook so well?"

"I cooked two basic meals Sasuke," snorted Alice, "that's not cooking well."

Taking the rest of the batter in the bowl and pouring it into a measuring cup, Alice quickly checked on whatever was in the pan. "Hmmm, your pan cooks pancakes really well."

I blinked, "what the hell are pancakes?"

Alice gasped in horror and whirled to face me, "you poor boy! How could you be deprived of the goodness called pancakes?!" She grabbed my arm and shook it, "I feel for you right now. The feels."

"I didn't know what that other meal you cooked was," I reminded her," spa-spagen-spagenti boli-"

"Spaghetti Bolognese."

I nodded, "that."

Alice continued to make a fuss, "but how could you not know **pancakes**! Next you'll say you haven't had apple pie or something like pizza here!"

I frowned slightly, "yes we have apple pies..but what is pi-za?"

Alice gaped at me before her eyes rolled into the back of her head and she fainted.

Staring incredulously at the girl sprawled out on my kitchen floor, I slowly nudged her with my foot and slid her out of the way.

I turned to the pancake that was currently sizzling on my pan, "now what the hell am I meant to do with you?"

* * *

I heard a sigh as Alice woke up and slowly scrambled up off the cold floor of the kitchen, "dear Jashin my head hurts. I can't believe I passed out again."

I shifted awkwardly on my feet before shoving the spatula in my hand into her face, "you can finish breakfast."

She readily grabbed the utensil and skipped across to the pan.

I watched as her face morphed to one of confusion, "Sasuke? Where's the pancake batter that I had on the pan? I know I was only out for a bit so it couldn't have been finished. Don't tell me you ate it raw!"

I nodded to myself, "so that's why it stuck so well."

Alice was glared at me sceptically, "what do you mean by that my dear Sasuke? Bed-buddy of the night, what have you done to my pancakes?"

I scowled at the name but obediently pointed upwards.

Alice looked up to see a new addition of a large creamy circle on Sasuke's ceiling.

"Wha-" was all she managed to get out before the half cooked pancake fell and splatted down on her face.

The glare Alice gave me froze my blood, "**Sasukeeeee**!"

* * *

**Sasuke OOC but that's it though, thanks for reading!**


	13. Act 1 Part 10: Sex,Drugs and Rock & Roll

**Well it seems nobody was especially impressed by my last chapter, but I'm writing one so quickly after because I am disturbed by my friend talking about scenes of the Conjuring. We watched the death scenes from Final Destination and I was fine, explain supernatural witch and I'm up all night terrified.**

**Fuck I'm getting the creeps.**

**On the other hand, I have a sudden fascination with the song Naruto Ondo. Has anyone heard it? Or the tailed beast counting song? Because they are really good and catchy. Currently listening to Ondo so I don't flip a shit.**

**Here's a story for you though. Enjoy.**

* * *

**Disclaimer: **_Bleck. Don't own Naruto or any songs_

**Warning: **_Don't think language won't be involved_

* * *

**Alice P.O.V.**

I was surprisingly chilled at the moment.

There was no training to be currently done but Sasuke had kicked me out of the house for 'loitering.'

That asshat.

So here I was doing something that I had found somewhat pleasure in doing. Not that many people knew I liked it, it seemed too 'tranquil' for me or something like that.

But here I was, gazing at the clouds as I lay on my back, on lush grass of a training ground I had stumbled upon. Humming a nice song to myself; one that wasn't in a mimicked voice.

"_All of me  
__Loves all of you  
Love your curves and all your edges  
All your perfect imperfections."_

I happily stretched my arms and folded them behind my head comfortably. A nice song to keep me relaxed, a fast song would irritate me too much.

"_Give your all to me  
I'll give my all to you  
You're my end and my beginning  
Even when I lose I'm winning  
'Cause I give you all of me  
And you give m-"_

I instantly stopped singing when I felt a presence brush across me. It was only fifteen meters away! I must've slacked in my awareness if someone could get this close to me.

"Tch," the voice was a bored sounding male one, someone I hadn't met while I was here. "Somebody's already here…troublesome."

I rolled my eyes, "Nara-san, I can vacate your spot if you wish me to."

Shikamaru flopped down not too far from where I was laying and merely sighed. "It would be much too troublesome for you to leave, it would mean I had to apologize or try to rebuff your presence leaving in a polite way. And that would be just too much work."

"I understand completely." I was trying so hard not to laugh at the fact that Shikamaru actually wasted his breath to explain that all to me when he could've just done it.

Shifting slightly so I could see a large, pure white cloud better, I took the chance to look at the young genin to my right. He looked the exact same as canon, which probably meant I was in Team Ten's training ground. Great.

"You're the new foreigner."

I groaned lightly at the statement, "yes I am! How the fuck does everyone know about me already? I went to go get out some library books and suddenly everyone was waving at me and knows my name! Like what the hell?!"

"Your accent is the dead giveaway." Shikamaru sounded highly amused as his lazy eyes drifted towards me, "you've been hanging out with that troublesome blonde and his team."

I narrowed my eyes slightly at him, "I don't even wanna know how you got that information. I'm just gonna go with the fact that you're a genius and leave it at that."

Shikamaru's gaze was more focused and calculating now, "how do you know if I'm a genius?"

I shrugged as best as I could on the ground, "Nara's are renowned for their intellect and I know about your father Shikaku-san. I had a meeting with him recently, about confidential shit and whatnot."

Shikamaru made an agreeing noise before turning his gaze back up to the clouds, "my mother said it was always polite to ask a woman's name. Something about manners."

I snorted but obligingly told him my name. "And what about you Nara-san?"

He tsked again, "I'm pretty sure you already know my name, but it's Shikamaru."

"Nice." I slowly stood up and stretched again, "well it was nice talking to you Shikamaru, but I believe I must be going. A certain last Uchiha would get pissy if I didn't do my share of making the food in the household. He's like the Kami-damned wife of that place, uck!"

Shikamaru merely huffed out a breath of air before lazily twitching his hand in a wave goodbye. "Bye Alice, nice singing by the way."

I swear I nearly blushed for the first time. "I-uh-you-fuck it! Later Shika."

Storming off in an embarrassed matter never looked so dignified. **(Lies.)**

* * *

**3****rd**** Person P.O.V.**

"For heaven's sake Alice, hurry up."

Alice muttered something unintelligible under her breath but quickened her footsteps to catch up to the irritated Sasuke.

The two continued their way along the outskirts of Konoha to get to the Uchiha district, where Alice had to become a maid and make food that wouldn't kill her or Sasuke with food poisoning. It hadn't happened yet, but Alice certainly wasn't holding her breath.

As they walked Alice didn't mean to hear the conversation, but just hearing those magic (albeit muddled) words come from a nearby shop, she just had to interrupt.

"Why would I need such a thing! No one would use this stupid instrument because nobody knows what the hell it is! Damn Teto and his fucking weird obsession with that western culture. I don't even know what a gu-taa is! I'm going to go through it out, it's bloody trash anyway."

The man started at the sight of Alice politely smiled up at him as he currently ducked out behind his counter. "I heard you say something about a guitar?"

The man scrutinized her, "well I guess. I have two of those damn things, something about one being electric and the other a-ako-akoshi-fuck it was something."

"Acoustic!" Alice chirped at the man, "I would be more than glad to take those off your hands my kind sir!"

The man raised an eyebrow at her, "and why the hell would I just give away an instrument? Admittedly a stupid one, but still an instrument."

Alice just looked at him, "do you really think I'm going to pay for something you were going to throw out? All instruments should be used, not trashed!"

Grudgingly the man nodded, "okay then. I'll give you the stupid instruments and the crap they came with, but you owe me one miss!"

"Of course," Alice said distractedly, "anything you say." She was too busy staring at the wonderful black cases that the man had brought out from behind the counter, "perfect condition as well I hope."

The man grunted and thrust the cases at her, "just take them and get out."

Alice all too happily obliged.

* * *

Glancing around Sasuke let out an irritated grunt, why did Alice always have to go missing? As soon as he was distracted she disappeared. Well she couldn't have gone too far so Sasuke stopped on the side of the street and looked around for the missing girl.

After a minute or two, Sasuke finally saw Alice emerge from a nondescript shop a little bit back from where he was standing. The only thing was, she had two black cases slung over her back, and was currently holding some sort of shiny, red thing in her hands.

Alice looked around for Sasuke, when she caught sight of his usual duck-ass hair she excitedly ran towards him.

"Sasuke! Sasuke! Look what I have!"

"Would you shut up!" Sasuke slammed a fist down on Alice's head, "you're too loud, just like Naruto."

Alice rubbed her head but quickly perked up again, "but seriously, look! This is a guitar, an instrument from where I come from! This one is a beautiful, red, electric one, but I have an equally beautiful tan acoustic in one of the cases."

Sasuke stared at her blankly, "I really don't know what you mean by that crap you were just sprouting, but I bet this….gu-taa, is going to be stupid."

Steam nearly came out of Alice's ears by Sasuke's casual dismissal of her instruments. "How dare you say that about guitars! They're not stupid! By dissing my guitars, you have dissed both my skills, the person who taught me, and also music!"

Alice was now glaring murderously at Sasuke, "insulting me I can let slide. But insulting my friend and one of my beloved things?" A dark look crossed across her face, "I guess I'll just have to convert you to my view."

The brunette flipped the shiny red instrument around so she could slide the leather strap attached to it over her neck. She plucked a few strings and began to tune it to perfection.

Meanwhile Sasuke was surprised about how Alice was so passionate about something, she only properly riled up about a few things, and what was that sound that the gu-thingy made. It was deeper than the Shamisen or the Koto, it also had less strings than a Koto, but more than a Shamisen. It was shaped more like a Shamisen but it was more irregular-shaped than he had seen on any instrument. Just what the hell was this thing?

A deep throb of sound jarred Sasuke out of his thoughts. Alice had her arm hovering over the vibrating strings with a strangely calm look on her face. She flicked her fingers over the strings a few more times, drawing strong sounds from the instrument, and the attention of the few people around this part of town.

Flashing a grin at Sasuke, Alice raised her hand high above her head and declared that Sasuke would see the light. Not matter what.

Suddenly flashing her hand down, a loud rhythm of music began to echo out of the instrument. It was deep sounding, strong and fast. The fast strumming of her hands drew the last of the people's attention from around them, forming a slight crowd around the girl with the guitar.

She grinned once more at Sasuke before launching into song with a strong male voice. Something that many didn't expect.

"_Everybody's got their problems  
Everybody says the same things to you  
It's just a matter how you solve them  
And knowing how to change the things you've been through"_

The beat of the guitar began to throb in a catchy beat, Alice bobbing her head along to it.  
_  
"I feel I've come to realize  
How fast life can be compromised  
Step back to see what's going on  
I can't believe this happened to you  
This happened to you"_

The guitar changed back to the first beat, the introduction of the song._  
_  
_It's just a problem that I'm faced with am I  
Not the only one who hates to stand by  
Complications that are first in this line  
With all these pictures running through my mind_

_Knowing endless consequences_  
_I feel so useless in this_  
_Get back, step back, and as for me,_  
_I can't believe._

As she drew into the chorus, Alice began to almost scream as she sang. The strumming getting more frantic as she went on.

_Part of me, won't agree  
Cause I don't know if it's for sure  
Suddenly, suddenly  
I don't feel so insecure  
_  
_Part of me, won't agree  
Cause I don't know if it's for sure  
Suddenly, suddenly  
I don't feel so insecure  
Anymore_

Alice flicked her head up and shot the slightly bewildered Sasuke the happiest smile he had seen on her yet. It curled more than the soft smile she had used before, but also made her emerald eyes crinkle slightly like her grins did. It was…different.

Sasuke just didn't understand why it was slightly hard to breathe at that moment.

Raising her arm up once more, Alice began to strum the guitar increasingly fast. The sounds were higher and faster than before, screeching loudly through the air. Her fingers jumped from string to string as she slammed out chords she hadn't played for so long. As she continued to play, the almost frantic solo slowly died down to a soothing pace before ending with three hard strums.

Alice slowly relaxed and slung the guitar over her shoulder where the other cases were. "How do you think that was?!"

Clapping began to echo from the back of the crowd Alice hadn't realised was there. She looked around, stunned, at the group of clapping people. Fidgeting for a moment, she bobbed down into a polite bow, "ah! T-thank you!"

A sudden fist bumped lightly on her shoulder.

Her eyes flashed left to where Sasuke smirked softly at her, "not half-bad bitch." It was a seemingly harsh compliment, but Alice didn't mind too much.

It was the closest thing to a smile she had seen on Sasuke.

* * *

"How far have you come with your henge?"

Kakashi had taken Alice aside for a short while to see how well her "mystery sensei" had taught her. He knew that she had been practicing the henge, and her "sensei" had polished off her bushin, but he wanted to see how well she had done with the transformation jutsu.

The "sensei" certainly liked to teach Alice taijutsu, the girl hit hard as hell. Her form still sloppy and basic, but when she landed hits, it was nearly as bad as Sakura. And now he found out that she can channel chakra to enhance her body, just who the hell was this mystery sensei? The fighting style Alice used looked really familiar. It was a mainly dodging style, involving several outrageous acts of flexibility Alice had seemingly picked up from nowhere.

He had the name of the taijutsu style right on his tongue, along with the mystery sensei.

Kakashi snapped out of his thoughts when Alice shrugged slightly at him. "A fair bit better than before. Just need to work out some kinks here and there."

Kakashi nodded slightly before gesturing at her, "show me then."

Humming slightly in answer, Alice twisted her hands together into the necessary seal and charged them with a mass of chakra.

A puff of smoke washed over her and clouded Kakashi's vision. As it cleared, he got a good look at a slightly off Sakura look-a-like.

Her hair was the same bright pink, and her eyes and skin colour was the exact same shades as the real deal. Her clothes were also right, it was just the height now that was slightly off.

"Sakura's" legs looked too long-the same length as her usual legs-and her height was off by a couple of centimeters. It was close, but there were just a few things that needed to be changed to look authentic.

"How does it look sensei?" The look-a-like asked in Sakura's voice, "realistic yet?"

Kakashi cast a critical eye over it, "yes and no. As usual, your voice is uncannily perfect." He bent down slightly and poked at her legs, "your legs need to be shortened, along with your spine it seems." He stood back upright again, "either than that, it is almost perfect. Do you use a variety of people to henge into?"

Alice nodded in answer, as she poofed back to normal "yeah I do, I just like turning into Sakura. She's a person that is easy two work off. She is female like me and around the same age, meaning I don't have to change _too _much of my body, unlike when I change into Anko." The girl shuddered slightly, "do you know how painful it is to enlarge your boobs that much?!"

No Kakashi did not, but he wouldn't mind seeing more females using the henge like that!

Wait. How did Alice know Anko?

Oh Kami don't tell him…..Anko? Really? Well that actually explained a lot. The fact that Alice had been collecting those poisonous plants recently, or the fact that her taijutsu looked like a modified version of Anko's Hebi style.

That really explained why he had seen Alice buy a ridiculous amount of dango last week.

"Alice?"

The girl looked up quizzically at her daytime sensei, "what's up?"

Kakashi scrutinized her thoroughly before just going for it. "Is Anko your sensei? You know, your other sensei. The sensei who isn't me. The one who you are fine with kidnapping you at night?"

"Yep!" Alice chirped in answer, "you know Anko-nee?"

"_A-Anko-__**nee**__?!"_

Taking the usual stunned silence and pale face that appeared whenever Anko's name was mentioned as a yes, Alice smiled sweetly and patted Kakashi's arm softly. "Don't worry sensei, she takes good care of me and I love her sessions!"

"O-o r-re-really?" Kakashi stuttered out, "and pray tell me what she has been teaching you?"

Alice put on a thoughtful look, "welllll~" She pulled out the sound in a taunting matter before answering. "Anko-nee has been consistently teaching me mainly about poisons, taijutsu and handseals. She said she would leave the boring stuff like chakra control and team-building shit to you!"

"Oh really?"

"Yep!" Alice now looked like she was getting well into the swing of talking about her nighttime training. "We've been focusing on fixing my ninjutsu recently alongside my taijutsu. She would exhaust me in taijutsu practice, either form slash skills or strength and dodging., and then exhaust my chakra in injutsu." She rolled her eyes good naturally, "man you should've seen the strength and flexibility session we had two nights ago! It was ridiculously painful, but doing extended splits is a massive benefit! Alongside the fact I can now lift around sixty kilos now! Oh man it was so awesome Kakashi-sensei!"

"I bet," Kakashi replied now amused. It seemed like Anko was being fairly sane with little Alice-chan, he was expecting strange and cruel motivators and punishments.

"Mn!" Alice suddenly slumped slightly, "though the way she did it was slightly painful." She looked Kakashi in the eyes and spoke truthfully, "do you know how hard it is keeping weights over your head when snakes keep biting you on the arms and legs?!"

Kakashi could only stare in horror.

"Or that you can tear all your ligaments in your groin area after someone pulls your leg up as you're in a split?" Alice continued absently.

Kakashi wasn't listening now, he was too shocked.

"But it was awesome how Anko-nee showed me salve you can make to help the healing process after an iryo-nin has looked at it!" The brunette smiled happily as she remembered how she had made the natural salve by herself, with only some verbal instructions from Anko.

_How dare Anko injure one of his students?_

"I also managed to do a front flip off the ground last night!" Alice cheered, "it only took a couple of cricked necks and a concussion, but I did it!"

_How dare she._

Alice now jumped up and down excitedly, "and she helped me finish this jutsu!" She formed a couple of seals and blew away the accompanying smoke that came with it.

Two Alice's grinned at a now shocked and slightly awed Kakashi, "what do you think Kakashi-sensei?! Cool or what?!"

_It was impressive but.._

"And tonight Anko-nee said she would start teaching me about how to seduce a man! We won't go into actions tonight, but we'll be doing the theory on it. Pressure points that cause orgasms, parts of skin to brush to make people shiver, and maybe even sexy talk!"

**He was going to kill that woman.**

Kakashi grabbed Alice's arm and began to drag her away. "We're going now. We're going to sort this out and-"

"Oi sensei! Where are you going with my kage bushin?!"

Swiftly Kakashi popped the clone he was holding and went back to tuck the confused Alice under his arm. "We're going to see the Hokage right now and get this sorted out! That Kami-damn woman is not tainting one of _my _students!"

He broke off into angry incoherent mumbling before jumping up into the nearby trees with an exasperated Alice tucked under his arms.

* * *

Naruto ears twitched before he turned and caught a glimpse of his sensei bounding away with Alice under his arms.

"Uh guys…"

"What is it Naruto?" Sakura asked as she continued to throw kunai at a wooden post.

Sasuke scoffed lightly, "the Dobe's probably going to say something incredibly stupid as a lame joke. As usual."

"HEY!" Naruto yelled indignantly, "SHUT UP SASUK-TEME!" He suddenly paused slightly, "well actually this might sound weird."

"Just spit it out already, " sighed Sakura.

"Kakashi-sensei just kidnapped Alice."

Sakura paused before looking at Sasuke, "you were right. He is being a dumbass."

Naruto went to argue against his crush, but stopped when he realised how stupid his statement was. He shrugged slightly before continuing to try and balance kunai on his fingers. "Do you guys ever think Kakashi-sensei's teaching methods are a bit weird?"

"Of course," Sasuke replied from where he was currently trying to get his legs out from a snare that Kakashi had put him in.

"Our sensei's weird," agreed Sakura.

* * *

Ano tapped her foot as she glared angrily at her young disciple. She continued to let Alice squirm in the silent but angry atmosphere that was crushing her.

"I said I was sorry Anko-nee!" Alice finally cracked under the pressure and frantically tried to make amends with her sensei.

"Sorry doesn't cut it gaki," hissed Anko. "Do you think I like Hatake on my ass all day? Hounding me again and again?"

Alice's scared face suddenly turned into one that was choking back laughter.

"What are you laughing at gaki?!" Anko glared at the girl.

A strangled laugh managed to escape Alice's mouth, "Kakashi. On your ass. All day!" She broke down into hysterical laughter, "Hatake Kakashi! The hounder of females!"

Anko's face turned from angry, to confused, to amused in a span of seconds. "Hatake the hounder! Oh man that's pretty good gaki!" She too broke down in laughter.

The two continued to laugh for a good long while. When Alice managed to compose herself, she grinned up at Anko. "That _was_ pretty good nee-san."

"Yeah," laughed Anko, "but not good enough to save your ass!"

Alice paled, "oh sweet Jashin no!"

"Oh yes," purred Anko as she advanced on the girl, "Yakunan has been itching for your blood."

A large snake slowly uncurled from Anko's trench sleeves and hissed menacingly at the now petrified Alice.

"I never understood why that snake was called evil," Alice laughed nervously, "that was, until I met him properly."

Yakunan advanced on Alice quickly and the girl began to backpedal just a quickly, "what's tonight's lesson Anko-nee?" Alice narrowly dodged a lunge from the snake, "I thought it was finally seduction time!"

"It was," smirked Anko, "but that privilege has been taken from you and replaced with a speed lesson. I know how much you love these sessions."

Alice yelped as she dodged another lunge from the sake, "is that we're outside tonight?"

"Yep!" Anko beamed through the darkness at the student she could see, but the student who could also barely see. She suddenly let out an exclamation, "I nearly forgot! Catch gaki!"

Large weights just missed Alice's head, "damn it! I thought you had forgotten about those!"

Anko merely laughed at the girl as she struggled to avoid the snake and tug on weights onto her arms and legs. "I never forget about any of my punishments that I can afflict on you!"

Alice shrugged slightly, "seems fair." She then continued merrily into the night, being chased by a large, _poisonous _snake called evil

* * *

**I know it's a little on the short side, but I just had to whack it out!**

**The songs used was All of Me and The Hell Song. If you like old music like me, you would know that song by Sum 41. If you don't...listen to that shit. I'll use a whole heap of old music as well as Japanese and new songs, prepare yourself.**

**Guys we are about to enter the next arc so get excited! We'll see a more functional Team Seven hit the ground running, dazzling the competition with their skills! Kakashi has trained them better than in canon, so expect great things from them! And we'll see Panda-kun! Cha! Shannaro!**

**Next time! Chunin Exams are revving up! See you there!**


	14. Act 2 Part 1: Don't diss my ADHD

**Well it has been a while, hasn't it?**

**I have no excuses either than school, so let's just move on and get on with the story.**

**Oh! I almost forgot. P.s. I lied last chapter, we're actually 'priming' for the Chunin exams. Which means the next two chapters shall be tying off loose ends so that the exams make sense. Also, I really just wanted to write this.**

* * *

**Disclaimer: **_HOLY HEPHAESTUS! NO! I don't own Naruto or any songs mentioned_

**Warning: **_OBVIOUSLY LANGUAGE!_

* * *

**Alice P.O.V (it feels like ages since I wrote her P.O.V…..)**

Swinging my legs absently, I continued to sit quietly until I was called in.

I was actually quite glad to be sitting down outside Hokage-oyaji's office. It meant that I could finally take a break and relax from the hell training I've been getting lately.

Anko had already told me about how the Chunin exams were only eight days away. That's basically a week!

Although I don't know why, I knew that was the reason why she had suddenly upped my training a fuck load. I've gotten an average of four hours of sleep for the past week and it was starting to take its toll.

Back home I had been somewhat diagnosed with a weak case of ADHD. Unlike other people with ADHD, my case came from my insomniac pattern of sleep. So that means;

Barely any sleep + Alice = ADHD to the max!

I'm just waiting for the moment the dam burst and I flip a shit. It's been steadily building up and I can already feel the twitches in my arms and legs that means my energy levels were starting to fluctuate randomly.

I don't think having an abundance of chakra is helping either.

On the plus side though, my henge is finally finished! And while we're still on the ninjutsu front, I've been given a new technique to learn by the Chunin Exams!

It's actually a genjutsu…but it's still awesome!

Kakashi-sensei has been pushing Team Seven's taijutsu and chakra control skills to the limit, while also promoting teamwork between us. The control exercises have really saved my ass on the genjutsu.

A clicking of a door interrupted my thoughts and I quickly stood to face Hokage-oyaji who had just come out from his office.

"Ah, Alice-chan." His face crinkled warmly at me, "I'm glad you could make it."

I rolled my eyes good-naturally as I approached him, "of course I would come. You _are _the Hokage after all. Even if you are an oyaji."

He chuckled slightly and beckoned me into his office, "you're quite right Alice-chan."

Following him into the now familiar room, I had to smile. It was nice to have a responsible adult to talk to. Anko and Kakashi-sensei are cool, but really, I wouldn't call them responsible.

Taking my usual chair opposite Hokage-oyaji, I sat quietly as he took off the Hokage hat and filled his pipe with more tobacco. Soon after lighting it, the pleasant smell from the smoke filled the air.

"What are we discussing this time Hokage-oyaji?" I cocked an eyebrow at him and leant forward on my elbow onto the desk.

"As you most likely have been informed by Anko-chan." He began, "the Chunin exams are coming up."

"Yeah." I interrupted again, "I really don't see what that has got to do with me though."

Hokage-oyaji looked at me sternly, "Alice…"

I clapped my mouth shut, "understood!"

He relaxed and continued to puff away, smoke curling from his lips. "The Chunin exams are being hosted in Konoha, this means we are able to place more teams than usual in the exams."

"Thus raising Konoha's reputation of great ninjas," I finished. "Clever."

A smile played around Hokage-oyaji's mouth, "naturally we would take advantage. We _are _a shinobi village. After all."

"In these exams, we are going to let all teams of Konoha genin choose if they want to compete in the exams. The rookies are offered this choice as well, but rarely do they ever choose to compete with barely a year under their belts."

I smirked slightly, "why would they? You could have four months of being active and have possibility; or have a year or two advantage and surely be able to win. It's quite obvious that it's smarter to wait and press the advantage you have when you're ready."

"Quite right," Hokage-oyaji agreed. "Unfortunately this year, we've had an abundance of rookie genin teams from the other villages and as a result-"

"We should enter our rookie teams so as to not look weak." I nodded, agreeing with Hokage-oyaji's decision.

This certainly explained why Kakashi-sensei, Kurenai, and Asuma entered their teams into the exams. It seemed rather stupid for such incompetent teams (no offense to the Rookie Nine) to enter an exam where you could very easily die.

No wait…that actually sounds exactly like this series. Nobody has a shred of fucking common sense here.

"Very good Alice-chan," praised Hokage-oyaji. "Has Anko-chan been teaching you politics and tactics on the side of your training?"

I shook my head, "nah. Shikaku-san's son, Shikamaru, met me at his team's training grounds last week and he asked me to a game of Shōji the next day. I suck royally, but I'm learning some things. Mainly tactics from Shikaku-san when he pities me."

Hokage-oyaji laughed lightly, "ah, so you've been dragged into the Nara's-"

"Obsession?" I snorted slightly, "the way those two always seem to be playing, they're definitely obsessed."

"Mmm." Hokage-oyaji nodded absently before leaning forward intently. "Alice-chan, I wish you to enter the Chunin exams."

Pausing, I considered if Hokage-oyaji was a senile oyaji. "And why would I do that?"

"Many reasons," he answered vaguely. "The main being that, if you wish to truly become a ninja of the Leaf, you must showcase you skills. Normally new recruits for Konoha shinobi corps would simply show me, and the shinobi council, the three academy jutsu and any other skills they may bring to the village. Except, in your case…"

"I'm a foreigner that can't be trusted, even compared to people from other villages, because they don't know where I came from, I won't tell them, they can't kill me 'cause you won't let them, blah, blah, blah." I rolled my eyes, "you guys are so freaking political here. If I didn't want to die, I'd say kill me and get it over and done with."

"I'm glad you don't want to die," said Hokage-oyaji dryly. "Joking aside, you shall enter the exams with a team of two others. They will be people who have been apprenticed to someone, or someone who has no more teammates, and wish to advance to chunin."

Beginning to ponder over the fact that I was going to be with randoms that I have no intel on, wait. Hold the phones!

"Do they have to be human?"

Hokage-oyaji actually looked rather taken a-back by this question. "What in Kami's name do you mean?"

"Well," I tapped my fingernails on the desk. "I could compete with someone who doesn't wish to pass, am I right?"

At Hokage-oyaji's nod I continued. "Why couldn't I just go with some summons? There are really no rules against the competitors even being human. In fact, it's really for 'genin' level ninja, which could also stand for lowest level of active ninja. If you have a headband, but no chunin vest, technically you're a genin. So if you have a headband and are genin in all but name, you can compete in the Chunin exams."

Hokage-oyaji blinked, "I have…never thought of it that way, but….you are correct. Albeit in a twisted sense, you are correct."

Nodding slightly, my legs twitched erratically. Jashin-damned, cock-sucking….ADHD!

I got a frown from Hokage-oyaji, "are you alright Alice-chan?"

"Mn?" I chuckled nervously and scratched my neck, "ha, yeah…I think so? Do you happen to know where I could a check-up? I know Inoichi-san brushed over my mind before Shingami kicked him out, but I was never fully checked over back home. My mum made a wild stab at one of my many tics, but she isn't a mentality nurse. I have, what she believes, to be a slight case of ADHD."

"I believe we can schedule a check-up at the hospital." Hokage-oyaji smiled, but it looked more…evil. "After your mission."

"Wait. What?"

* * *

**3****rd**** Person P.O.V.**

"Have you got your warm clothes packed?"

"What about your explosive tags?"

"She needs to be prepared to be healthy, not to be a killing machine!"

"At least from me she _actually _learnt something!"

"I swear to Kami I will-"

"Whatcha gonna do Scarecrow? You going to use your magic eye on me?"

"Like you can talk! You're going to probably try to molest me or something!"

"That's it bastard!"

A purple-clad girl with lilac hair stared worriedly at the two feuding ninjas. "Are they always like this?" She turned to Alice who was standing to her right, "they seem really mad at each other."

Alice laughed, albeit forcibly. "Nah they're good. Anko-nee and Kakashi-sensei just have a pissing match over my training whenever they meet. It's the norm, so don't worry too much. And besides, Kakashi-sensei is the only one coming along to do this mission."

"Along with us idiot."

Alice's ear twitched and she turned with a scowl, "I have had a great day so far. Then you decided to come into it."

Naruto laughed and slapped Sasuke on the back, "burn there Teme!"

"Get lost Dobe." Scoffed Sasuke in return.

"Boys, boys." Sighed Sakura as she came between the two. "You're both pretty little things, and you both have dicks, no need to get all pissy."

Sasuke scowled deeply, "you have been spending _way _too much time with Alice. She has made you into a-"

"You better not finish that sentence Ice Princess, or you'll have no more dick to piss around with."

"That's definitely another burn there," whispered Naruto.

"When are we leaving! Kiyoko-hime is meant to arrive at the stadium in exactly two days, three hours, five-"

"Hundred I-don't-give-a-fuck's!"

"No talking to the client's manager like that Alice!"

"Sorry Kakashi-sensei!"

Sasuke sighed and kneaded at his temples, "am I the only sane one here?"

Kiyoko tilted her head as she watched Alice begin to argue with her manager Nori. Sakura begin to hit Naruto as he made another stupid comment. And Kakashi and Anko continue to argue loudly. "I think this is fun. These people are interesting, unlike the people I'm usual around."

A contemplating expression came across Sasuke's face. "You don't act like what I thought a teenage idol would act."

"I get that a lot," laughed Kiyoko. "But my father always said that I was much too polite for my own good. Also Nori is rather protective, he rarely ever lets me spend the money that I earn. He says that I should save it until I am older, that way I can have something for when I'm older."

"Hn."

"You're not very talkative are you?"

"No he's not!"

Kiyoko started as Alice popped up between her and Sasuke. Alice flashed her a cheeky grin when she lay her head on Sasuke's shoulder.

"Get off bitch."

Stumbling slightly after being pushed off Sasuke, Alice snapped towards Kakashi. "We should start heading sensei! Sasuke-chan's PMS is starting!"

"Wha-?" A confused Sasuke asked.

"Alright!" Cheered Naruto as he ran by. "C'mon Sakura-chan!"

"I'm coming idiot." Sakura chased after the blond.

Kiyoko began to get dragged away by an excited Alice, "let's go Kiyo-chan!"

"A-alright."

Nori hurried after them, "unhand Kiyoko-hime you hooligan!"

Anko waved at Alice's retreating back, "have fun!"

"Stay safe!" Called back Alice.

"Love you!" They finished together.

Kakashi put two fingers to his eyes – well actually, eye and covered eye, but whatever – and pointed them at Anko, "I'm watching you."

"Shouldn't I be the one keeping _eyes_ on you Cyclops." Anko leered at Kakashi, "don't do anything I would regret!"

"Whatever, later Anko."

"Bye Scarecrow."

A twitch crossed Sasuke's eye. "Why am I left behind?"

* * *

Alice skipped ahead of the group before doubling back and running around them.

"What the hell are you doing Alice?" Asked an irritated Sasuke. Not even an hour out of the village and she's already annoying.

Tripping slightly over her feet, Alice righted herself and jumped onto Naruto's back. "My ADHD has kicked in completely! YAY!"

She jumped back off Naruto's back and continued to run circles around the group. "I can't stop moving and my face is hurting from smiling too much!"

Kakashi looked at the girl, "what does smiling have to do with your ADHD?"

Alice began to jog backwards facing Kakashi. "My mood always uplifts when I get into ADHD mode. I don't know why, I just never stop smiling."

The brunette cartwheeled away and then picked up a stick from the side of the road. She skipped over to Kiyoko who was standing in the middle of the group between Sasuke and Sakura. Linking hands with the lilac-haired girl and swung the stick in her right hand.

"Oh, it's a jolly holiday  
With Mary  
Mary makes your 'eart so light  
When the day is gray  
And ordinary  
Mary makes the sun shine bright!"

Kiyoko giggled lightly as Alice sung in a cockney accent and fluttered her eyelashes at her.

"Oh 'appiness is bloomin'  
All around 'er  
The daffoldils are smilin'  
At the dove  
When Mary 'olds your 'and  
You feel so grand  
Your 'eart starts beatin'  
Like a big brass band!"

The stick in Alice's hand swung lightly as the she and Kiyoko skipped along the dirt road that the group was following to one of the many towns in Hi no kuni.

"Holy Kami it's horrifyingly sickening to watch." Said Sasuke.

"…I actually have to agree with you here Sasuke-kun." Sakura watched the two girls, dumbfounded at their childishness. "Kill me now."

Naruto hummed happily, not exactly knowing how the tune went.

Kakashi sighed lightly, "she's a weird one alright."

Nori glared after them. 'Kiyoko-hime shouldn't be straining her voice before her big performance!'

Both Kiyoko and Alice happily skipped on, singing tunes that they remembered along the way.

* * *

Kakashi halted the procession of people. "We'll stop here for the night."

"B-b-but we're in the middle of nowhere!" Stuttered Nori, "where are we going to sleep?"

"Obviously here." Scoffed Alice as she crashed down onto the long grass that carpeted the clearing in the forest they were in. They were currently a little way off the track and were preparing to sleep for the night, if only the uptight bastard with the name Nori would just let them.

Rolling around in the grass, Alice curled up in a ball and began to go to sleep. That was, until a kick woke her up again.

"Where's your sleeping bag idiot?"

Alice flapped her hand at Sasuke, "don't have it and don't need it bastard."

"Well don't come crying to me later on."

Sakura rolled her eyes at the two's playful pissing match. "I wish they would hurry up and kiss, get rid of all that sexual tension."

"Do they like each other?" Kiyoko asked the pinkette.

"They sure do!" Chipped in Naruto, "even I can tell that!"

Sakura scoffed, "you can't even tell who likes you baka."

Naruto squinted his eyes and cocked his head to the side, "someone…likes me?"

"Another time Naruto." Sakura waved him off. "For now, I just want to get a good night sleep."

* * *

Another shiver passed over Alice.

'Fucking Uchiha and they being fucking right. I'm gonna kick his fucking ass someday that fucking bastard. Kami-fucking-damn it I'm cold. Fuck this; sleepless night it is.'

* * *

"Alice?" Sakura glanced at the girl anxiously, "are you alright?"

"Fucking peachy." She grumbled in return and rubbed at the dark rings under her eyes. "Just prepare yourself for a bi-polar Alice all day long."

"We're dead." Muttered Sasuke.

* * *

**Well I beg your pardon right now.**

**It was short, but I think it was necessary to pause it there. It would get a bit messy if I continued writing after all those breaks.**

**I'll write again soon, nearly done all of my assignments!**

**Ciao!**


	15. Act 2 Part 2: Many Copies Much Wow

**Well hello, hello, hello.**

**Miss me?**

**I missed you guys…**

**I was busy doing stupid school stuff and I writing a chapter for my other story. Did you know I nearly have 100 follower! SHAGADELIC!**

**LET'S WRITE THIS!**

* * *

**Disclaimer: **_Madara's now a female and I don't own the __**male **__Naruto. I also don't own any songs mentioned, that mantle goes to many fabulous artists_

**Warning: **_Contains traces of singing, ADHD, swearing and Alice_

* * *

**Alice P.O.V.**

I continued to cartwheel continuously down the dirt road that Team Seven, Nori, Kiyoko and I were travelling on.

We have been travelling for the past two days up to the northern parts of Hi no Kuni, and were to arrive to the hotel that we would be staying in for the duration of the mission at around two o'clock. About thirty minutes from now. Kiyoko was to have a concert tonight, marketing some her new songs before heading back to her home somewhere to the west. We would head back to Konoha after the concert though. Nori had organised the premiere concert in preparation for the Elemental Nations tour Kiyoko was to have in the next year. Team Seven was actually quite excited to see a real idol in concert. Well; by Team Seven I meant Sakura and Naruto. Kakashi never really showed much emotion and Sasuke is a little icicle with no heart.

On the not-so-plus-side of things, my ADHD has only gotten worse. It has never been this bad before. My attention span has really taken a hit, my actions have gotten even twitchier and I haven't stopped moving since I had woken up. We had been walking anyway, but I had to do more than walking, so that led me to seeing how far I could cartwheel until I stacked it.

"Twenty-six, twenty-seven, twenty-eight, twenty-nine, THIRTY! NEW RECORD! Thirty-one, thir–GAH!"

I broke off my count as my face made acquaintances with the ground. "Jashin-damned gravity, thou art a heartless bitch."

"You are…I don't even have the words to explain how absolutely stupid you are."

I brushed the dust off me as I stood up and turned to the exasperated Sasuke who had stopped next to me. "Well my dear Sasuke-chan, if you guys _actually _got an education, you might use big words such as ridiculous, insensate, or one of my favourites, dopey." I finished my inspection of my being for no dust and looked up to see Sasuke death-glaring me.

"You are really annoying you know that Alice?"

Laughing his cutesy attempt at using KI, I patted him on the head and spoke in a condescending way. "I believe you mean exceedingly irksome my little princess." And so I continued my game of cartwheeling for however long I could while dodging a pissy Sasuke's kunais that he continuously threw at me in a pathetic attempt to mar my beautiful skin.

Oh, and if you're wondering, I made it to sixty-four.

* * *

"Sha-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la, you know you want to, kiss the girl~"

"Would you just stop singing Alice!"

I paused my amazing singing of The Little Mermaid in order to dodge an irritated Sakura's swinging fist that barely missed my head.

"I think I felt some hairs get snapped off from the force of that." I rubbed my head slightly and looked sulkily at the still angry Sakura. "Have you been practicing your taijutsu?"

Instantly the fierce look on her face transformed into one of bashful shyness. "W-well, yeah I have. Could you really notice Alice?"

I beamed and gave her the thumbs up, "sure did imōto-chan! I could really feel the force behind that swing. It's a wonder how Naruto still has brain cells after being hit by those killer punches all the time!"

Sakura suddenly looked rather nervous, "do you reckon my punches really hurt Naruto? I didn't think I was that strong, and I thought Naruto was just acting hurt so that I could be concerned over him, therefore showing affection."

My lips nearly twisted up in a smile. Manipulation wasn't something I was especially good at, and I felt guilty for doing so to Sakura, but this was necessary. Now if Naruto could be his normal nosy self and…

"It doesn't hurt THAT much Sakura-chan!" Naruto's head popped out of nowhere and grinned at the pinkette as he squeezed himself between the two of us. "I mean, it kinda gives me headaches sometimes, and occasionally my nose bleeds 'cause I hit the ground too hard, but it's fine! Sakura-chan's punches are amazingly strong!"

Sakura was looking more and more horrified with each passing moment that Naruto spoke. It seemed that she had only just realized that Naruto was actually hurt when she punched him, and hey, maybe she would finally stop abusing him so much. She had been a hell of a whole heap nicer to Naruto since her sudden revelation that I wasn't going to steal 'Sasuke-kun' and that Naruto wasn't a completely annoying idiot.

I mean, Naruto _is _kind of annoying, and he can be kind of stupid sometimes, but I find it hilarious and love him for it. Sakura just seems to get really riled up by it. Maybe it's because she's a genius and finds people on a lower intellectual level annoying to talk to since they have such a limited knowledge and vocabulary compared to her.

Kami knows I was like that when I was in a public school.

The duo from Team Seven began to talk in earnest, ignoring me in favour of 'discussing' Sakura's punches. Although, it mainly involved Sakura apologizing and declaring she wouldn't hit Naruto anymore and Naruto saying it wasn't that bad.

My work is done here!

_You're a manipulative little thing, aren't you?_

My eye twitched slightly as the hissing voice crept out from the corners of my mind.

'What do you want Shingami-sama? And how the hell are you talking to me? I'm not feeling especially mad, sad and generally bad! And do you know how long it's been since we last talked?! As your current home, I should get to know how my tenant is faring!

There was a long pause in my mind.

…_You're my home?_

I nearly groaned out loud. 'That's all you picked up from that?!'

_It is a little strange…I can't really use your mouth like or a door or anything…_

'When the hell did you get a sense of humour? Let alone a personality?!'

_Last time we talked I did say that in order for your mind not to kick me out, I had to take on some of your qualities in order to not be deemed as foreign._

'Oh yeah!...You did say that!'

_I know you aren't an idiot, so for both our sakes, stop acting like one._

'I really can't help it. Bipolar. ADHD. _Remember?_'

_No need to get snarky…_

My stimulating conversation with my tenant was interrupted by me bumping into Kiyoko who had been walking in front of me.

"Ah!" She squeaked slightly and turned to face me. "I'm so sorry Alice! I really didn't mean to bump into you!"

"It's my fault Kiyo-chan." I waved off the girls apologies and slung my arm over her shoulder. "What have you been doing in the last twenty or so minutes of our lovely walk to the place where you shall sing?~ I know we have only five more minutes until we finally get there! Thank the gods!"

Kiyoko giggled lightly at my tone of voice. I knew there was a reason why I liked this girl. She was my age but as innocent as a Disney princess. Much like my friend Annie.

The purple-clad girl wrapped her arm around my waist before answering. "I've just been going over some of my songs before the concert, but my throats been aching heaps. It's really weird."

I looked at her worriedly, "are you getting sick at all? Are you going to be alright singing for the concert? If you don't feel well, tell Sakura. She will probably have something for sore throat and colds."

Kiyoko giggled again. "You're a cuddly, mothering-type at heart aren't you Alice? I'm _fine_. Don't worry, I'll be alright for the concert."

I looked her over again before nodding. "I hope so Kiyo-chan."

* * *

The next hour or so went in a massive blur to me. I remember entering the city the concert was being held at and being floored at the massive sprawl of it. It was a huge difference from the low-rising sprawl of Konoha, it had _actually, almost skyscrapers_! There were flashy signs everywhere, advertising in katakana which I could now actually read real well. I could tell my genin comrades were pretty gobsmacked as well. Naruto was spinning in circles trying to see everything at once. Sakura's head was swivelling from side to side so fast I thought her neck was going to break. And Sasuke's eyebrows were hidden by his bangs, for once actually showing his surprise.

We had followed Nori because the asshole had apparently known where to go. He sure rubbed in the fact that he had been to such an amazing city before right into my face.

Idiot. He doesn't know that this is tiny compared to some of the massive cities I've been to back home.

Our procession had finally made it to the hotel and had gotten to crash on the two-beds-in-one-room-because-Kakashi-sensei-is-a-cheap-bastard-and-stole-a-room-for-himself. Kiyoko had been whisked away by Nori in order to get primped and ready for the concert.

I had taken one look at the hundreds of tools for make-up and hair. Placed down the mug of tea I had gotten for Kiyoko's sore throat. And bolted.

But I have to say, the end result was amazing.

Team Seven plus yours truly had been waiting outside the hotel obediently (not causing havoc for once) for Kiyoko and Nori to come down. When Kiyoko exited the building, I had gasped with some sort of deeply buried, girly, happiness. Ugh.

The idol was wearing her usual trademark purple, this time in the form of a short dress in deep purple that flared out in a petticoat. Purple boots with massive heels clad her feet, and her curly lilac hair was done up in two twirling pigtails that barely brushed her shoulders.

"I think," I paused for a dramatically teary sniff, "you are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Ever."

Kiyoko's face had lit up in a blush that would've made Hinata envious. "T-thanks Alice! It's nice of you to say that."

"I would say it anytime you asked sweetheart."

"This is cute and all, but we have a date at the stadium." Kakashi-sensei spoke up in the first time in what felt like forever. He had spent the entire trip reading his porn books and what seemed like keeping Nori distracted from the rest of us. I would have to thank him for that later…

"LET'S GO!" Naruto rushed off excitedly and I quickly followed him, dragging Kiyoko along as Nori yelled at me to stop.

Stupid mortal, as if you could stop the fabulous Alice!

* * *

**3****rd**** Person P.O.V.**

"A-a-alice…"

Said girl twitched slightly and turned to see a depressed looking Kiyoko gazing up at her. "What's wrong Kiyo-chan?"

"M..mhy froat."

The idol was obviously having trouble speaking and those two words had taken a lot out of her. She looked sadly up at Alice, "Iht shu-shudenly disappeared jhust t-then."

Alice gasped sadly at the girl's tired whispery voice. "But it was fine just before! You could speak and you could sing barely an hour ago!"

"I..lied."

Now Alice was really confused. "What do you mean you lied? What did you lie about?"

Kiyoko shook her head sadly. "I chouldn't sing ea-earlier. My singing voice was ghone by then." She finished off with a fit of weak sounding coughs. "What am I going to do? I don-" She broke off in a coughing fit again. "I dhon't want to dis-disappoint my fans. They paid so much for this and I…don't want to let them down."

Now Alice was anxious. They had arrived at the concert around an hour ago, preparing to get everything set up. Alice and Team Seven had been dragged into doing mundane tasks around the whole stadium and Alice was the only one excited enough to do a whole heap of jobs.

She actually had done so much already that the stagehands had told her to take a break, and that's when Kiyoko–who had been Kami-knows-where–approached Alice with her plea.

It was nearly sundown, the time that the concert was about to start, and Alice didn't have an answer to Kiyoko's question.

"Uhhhh…" The brunette stalled slightly, looking for an escape option. "You could just postpone the concert until your throat's better."

Kiyoko shook her head in answer. "Noh…My fans have come from all 'round the Elehmental Nashions. They can only stayh here for so long…They paid ghood money for this and this stadium is so pohpuler that-" She broke off coughing again. "That we chan't get another day fhor another three months. Too long away." She hung in her, "I jhust don't want to disappoint them."

Alice twisted her lips in a sad smile, "you're too king Kiyo-chan. Most idols would be annoyed that they couldn't sing, or they would simply drop this concert all together and not care about the fans. You on the other hand, you are scared about disappointing them. You don't want to hurt their feelings, you're such a kind girl." She gather the slightly shorter and more petite girl in a warm hug, "I'm sorry Kiyo-chan."

The smaller girls' body shook slightly and…the touching scene was interrupted by Nori bursting in on it. "Kiyoko-Hime! I heard your voice has disappeared!" The man tugged Kiyoko out of Alice's arms and looked her over frantically, "please tell me it isn't true Kiyoko-Hime!"

"You better believe it," Alice said dryly. Nori shot her a glare that she returned all too happily.

"Kiyoko-Hime," Nori turned away from Alice and stared into the idols' eyes in a serious manner. "Please tell me that it's not true."

Kiyoko could only shake her head.

Nori moaned and slumped to the floor bonelessly. "No! All that planning. All that effort. The practice. The cost! All gone to waste!"

Alice watched the man for any more actions before deciding he wasn't going to do anything but cry on the floor like a baby. 'Real helpful.'

_Then do something…_

The brunette ignored the voice in favour of peeking around the curtains fringing the stage. She, Kiyoko and Nori were currently on the right wing of the stage and out of sight. Alice could see Naruto waving erratically directly opposite of her on the other wing. The rest of his team standing around him with various states of excitement.

It was just about sundown and Alice could see that the seats were nearly filled by a mass of chattering fans, excited for their idols' new songs.

Leaning back out of sight, the girl began to chew nervously on her nails. What the hell was she going to do? This was her mission and it seemed like her main objective had no voice to continue the mission. She had no help from the surrounding people, her support was currently over the other side of the stage and the one man who was running this was currently bawling on the floor behind her. A few minutes and then the most important part of her mission would begin.

What the hell was she meant to do?

An idea suddenly popped into her mind. So crazy and foolish that it might actually work. Maybe it was her ADHD talking, or maybe it was just her, all Alice knew was that she was already beginning the plan.

Walking briskly over to the sobbing Nori, Alice tugged the headset that Kiyoko was to wear (so that the whole audience could hear her) out of his hands. She then turned and grabbed Kiyoko's arm, squeezing it lightly in a comforting way. "Don't worry Kiyo-chan, I'll fix this for you."

The idol only looked up at her with shining purple eyes.

Alice nodded firmly, not sure if she was reassuring Kiyoko or herself. She formed very familiar seals and disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Two Alice stepped out of the smoke and nodded determinedly at the original. They pulled out two scrolls from the ninja pouches that hung at the belt around Alice's hips and unsealed the contents.

Meanwhile, Alice performed more handsigns and disappeared in another puff of smoke. This time, she stepped out to reveal an exact copy of Kiyoko.

"Don't worry Kiyo-chan." The Kiyoko-copy spoke in her voice, "I will finish this concert for you!"

The Kiyoko-copy placed the headset on her head and put a thumbs up at her two copies. "Are you ready girls?"

The two girls nodded, "of course mistress!"

One of the bunshin did handsigns and dispersed the smoke to reveal a female look-alike to Sasuke.

At the other two's incredulous looks she shrugged, "What? We can't have two Alice's going out there and Sasuki _is _pretty hot."

Kiyoko-copy shuddered slightly, "it's disturbing that it's true." She paused slightly and then looked more revolted, "it's disturbing that you've thought of Sasuke in female form."

Sasuki raised a dark eyebrow at her, "really mistress? I'm you, you know that?"

Kiyoko-copy raised a fist threateningly before lowering it with a sigh, "damn snarky clones. There's always one…"

She looked back over at the Alice-copy and Sasuki, "are you actually ready?"

The two nodded in confirmation, each holding a different guitar in their hands. Sasuki with the bass and Alice-copy with the electric.

Just as Kiyoko-copy was about to go stage, Alice-copy grabbed her arm and tugged her back. "Wait mistress! There's a drum kit out there already! We can use it for the songs!"

Kiyoko-copy nodded and patted Alice-copy on the head, "good job copy! I love the way you think!"

"That's because we think like you," deadpanned Sasuki.

Kiyoko-copy waved off her retort, "details, details! Now! Get us a drummer!"

Sasuki sighed in exasperation before making the handsigns and creating another kage bunshin. "What do we want her to look like?"

"Naruko?" Offered Alice-copy, "she would be a hit."

"Rightio!" Alice-copy mark 2 made the necessary handseals and disappeared in a puff of smoke. When she emerged, she was now a curvy, pigtailed blond with no whisker marks but blue eyes. She wore a midriff version of Naruto's normal jacket and his pants as shorts. She had tweaked some things so that there was no evidence that she was a ninja. She struck a pose and winked at her fellow Alice's, "fabulous!"

"I love it!" Chirped Kiyoko-copy, "but you two need to change as well!" She pointed at Alice-copy and Sasuki. "You have my clothes on Sasuki and Alice-copy you need to get rid of any signs that you're a ninja!"

The two clones nodded and puffs of smoke obscured them again. When the smoke cleared, Sasuki was now clad in a leather miniskirt with a mesh, dark blue top with a black crop top underneath.

Nobody made any comment about her weird choice in clothing, but there were a few raised eyebrows.

Alice-copy on the other hand, had taken the opposite route. She was clad in a green dress that matched her eyes and was nondescript in any sense.

"Yosh!" Kiyoko-copy clenched her hand excitedly. "Let's go get 'em before I come to my sanity!"

Naruko cheered happily, Alice-copy smiled slightly and Sasuki grumbled before following closely behind Kiyoko-copy who turned her headset on.

The fake-idol bounced onto the stage and swept her arms wide, "hello my beloved fans!"

The crowd roared happily in answer, whistles and hollers coming from all sides. Kiyoko-copy felt her heart clench nervously before she put on a bigger smile and flounced into the centre of the stage. "Who's ready to hear some music?!"

The crowd roared again, excited to hear some of Kiyoko's new songs.

"Before we start though," Kiyoko-copy gestured wildly to the side of the stage, "I would like you to give a warm welcome for my musicians tonight! I couldn't do this without them!"

The three disguised bunshin filed out, holding their guitars with a smile and wave (Sasuki and Alice-copy), and twirling around with a wide grin (Naruko).

The crowd clapped them on as they made their way to the other side of the stage. Naruko sitting down at the waiting drum kit and picking up the drumsticks while Sasuki and Alice-copy took their places either side.

"Oh shit…" Naruko hissed quietly as she fiddled with her drumsticks. "We can't play drums!"

Her fellow bunshin didn't turn from their positions, "just do a basic beat idiot! Nobody especially cares whether or not the drum's fancy! Besides, the drum is easy in the songs we're going to do."

"Oh," Naruko said quietly before smiling brightly at the waiting crowd, "I guess I could do it! But I wonder if Team Seven knows that mistress is doing this plan?"

* * *

Team Seven certainly knew that Alice was doing the plan.

They were actually panicking about it.

"What the hell is she doing?!" Shrieked Sakura as they watched Alice make two bunshin. "What does she plan to do with those? Are they kage bunshin? Kiyoko-san needs to go on stage like right now!"

Naruto placed a calming hand on the pinkette's shoulder, "uh, maybe Alice is doing something for the concert Sakura-chan? I'm not too sure what should be going on, but Nori doesn't seem to be doing anything to stop her, so it must be good."

It was true, Nori seemed to be crouching on the ground, what he was doing, nobody was too sure of, but if Alice was going to do something that was bad for Kiyoko, Nori would've stopped her by now.

Kakashi watched on with a sense of foreboding. He knew that somehow, Alice was going to do something…he just didn't know if it was good or not.

Another puff of smoke from Alice's side of the stage distracting Team Seven from their thoughts and drew their attention back to her. When the smoke cleared, everyone could only feel confusion and slight fear.

The two copies seemed to have unsealed their guitars and another puff of smoke dispersed to reveal a second Kiyoko over that side.

The Kiyoko-copy seemed to be talking to the real Kiyoko before turning back to the two Alice-copies. They talked for a moment before one clone vanished with the smoke and reappeared in an entirely different form.

Sasuke choked slightly as he stared across at a female version of himself. "In the name of Kami…What is she playing at?!"

"Sasuke-kun makes a pretty girl…" Sakura remarked absently as she gazed at the pretty girl with spikey, black hair.

Meanwhile Naruto was laughing his ass off. "HAHA! Sasuke-Teme's a girl!"

There was another puff of smoke that cleared to reveal a blond with long pigtails.

Sasuke snapped out of his stupor enough to punch Naruto in the arm, "who's the girl now Dobe?"

Finally there were two more puffs of smoke that revealed a provocatively dressed Female-Sasuke and a green garbed Alice-copy.

"This is not going to end well," sighed Kakashi.

His team could only watch as the Alice-disguised-as-Kiyoko hyped up the crowd before introducing the rest of her bunshin (not that anyone knew that). The bunshin carefully made their way to the end of the stage, right near Team Seven.

It took all of Sasuke's willpower not to reach out and strangle the Alice-copies. _Especially _the one that looked like him. Like a female version of him!

"Are you ready guys?!"

Sasuke focused attention back to the centre of the stage where the original Alice was, disguised as the idol they were protecting.

Kiyoko-copy nodded back at her copies and suddenly stood still as a guitar began to slowly strum a tune.

**A/N: You don't especially have to read this, you can skip this until I say it's done. There's not just singing here though.**

Kiyoko-copy crooned slightly into her headset before clicking her fingers in time. Suddenly she began to sing as Naruko rattled off a drum beat.

_Yume wo otte mayoikonda kokoro no mori no oku_

_Kagami yori sunda izumi utsuru yuganda Smile_

_Koboreta namida wa (Don't Cry) kin demo gin demo nakute_

_Arifureta namida (Fall From My Eyes) megami mo kizukanai_

The trio of bunshin harmonised with Kiyoko-copy, echoing the English lyrics. The beat picked up into a faster pace, Kiyoko-copy bouncing happily around the stage, clapping in time.

_Masayume Chasing Chasing_

_Koero motto jibun shijou saikou no_

_Ima wo Chasing Chasing_

_Sou egaita jibun ni natte moyase mune no hi wo_

_Na na na na na na na Oh_

_Na na na na na Hey Hey_

_Na na na na na na na Oh_

_Kakenukero Hero_

The bunshin sang along with Kiyoko-copy, the crowd getting into the exclamations at the end of each line.

_Na na na na na na na Oh_

_Na na na na na Hey Hey_

_Na na na na (Hey) na na na (Oh)_

_Moyase mune no hi wo (My Life... Yeah)_

The guitar slowly strummed into nothing and Kiyoko-copy slowly died off. There was a momentary silence before the stadium burst into applause.

"That's just a sneak peek of that particular song! It's called Masayume Chasing!" Called out Kiyoko-copy, "now! Who's up for the next?!"

The crowd roared again and Kiyoko-copy smiled happily before launching into the next song with her trio of bunshin backing her up.

* * *

**A/N: Y'all can come back to me now**

* * *

"That was the most irresponsible thing I've seen done on a simple body guard mission."

Alice hung her head sadly at Kakashi's bland words. "But sensei! Kiyo-chan had been so happy that her concert was a hit, and she got the lyrics from all the songs I had sung. Nobody was any the wiser!"

Kakashi stroked his masked chin in thought, "I guess…Nori-san seemed happy that the show wasn't a huge flop, and Kiyoko-san had seemed ecstatic…I guess you're okay." He looked at Alice sternly before she could yell in celebration, "but next time you should explain your plan before going through with it. If this was any other type of mission, a combat one, you would've put your teammates in danger. Understand?"

"Yes sensei," Alice replied meekly. She suddenly perked up, "but how awesome were we?! Copy, Naruko and Sasuki were awesome as! Well they _are _me, but they were still cool! It's just annoying how their personalities seem to waver so much, must be my bipolarness."

"That's not a word," Sakura corrected the girl absently as she passed her on her way to the exit of the village. "Oh and by the way, Sasuke-kun is about to kill you for turning into a girl-version of him. Just thought you might want to know."

Alice gulped as she felt a flare of KI from behind her. She turned to see a murderous Sasuke glaring at her, "n-now Sasuke!...We're all friends here…"

"I'm going to **kill **you Alice."

The brunette let out a girly scream as the Uchiha began to run after her. "No Sasuke! We can resolve this like responsible adults we are! We ca-WHERE ARE YOU GETTING SO MANY WEAPONS FROM?! STOP THROWING STUFF AT ME!"

"**KATON: GOKAKYŪ NO JUSTU**!"

"DAMN IT SASUKE! I CAN'T SURVIVE TWO DAYS OF THIS! HELP ME! SAKURA-CHAN! NARUTO! HHEEEELLLLPPPP MEEEEEEEEEE!"

* * *

**And that's a wrap!**

**So it was a little silly and stupid, but I enjoyed writing it!**

**I've been reading a lot of crack stories lately so it may have influenced my work. Just a little…**

**I hope the Alice-bunshins weren't too confusing. Basically the real Alice was henged as Kiyoko (the idol), one clone was Alice with a green dress on, one was Sasuki. That's gender bender Sasuke, a female Uchiha that has Sasuke's spiky hair but longer. She wore a provocative outfit because this clone was a bit of a defect one. Naruto always has one weird clone thrown in their and Alice's ADHD made this clone act a whole heap like Sasuke. The last clone was Naruko, someone I hope everyone should know. Again, this clone was defect and acted a lot like Naruto. I think that'll be a thing with Alice's clones. They'll have different personalities every time they are created.**

**That'll be fun.**

**Hope you liked it and prepare yourselves for the Chunin exams!**

**Here comes Gaara!**


	16. Act 2 Part 3: Sand Siblings

**Hello everybody! It is I, SunMoon, and I'm here to bring you another chapter of Mimic.**

**ONE WITH THE ACTUAL STORY LINE! EHRCWFUWEIREMQWJKRECNR.**

**HOLY HELL!**

**Ok, I'm cool now. BUT WE'RE PAST 100 FOLLOWERS AND ON OUR WAY TO 100 IN FAVOURITES!**

**Wow. I didn't think this story could be so popular.**

**Thanks to y'all.**

* * *

**Disclaimer: **_It's hard coming up with a new one each time. I don't own anything but Alice and this version of Shingami-sama. He's? It's mine~_

**Warning: **_Language, blah, blah, blah. GAARA!_

* * *

**3****rd**** Person P.O.V.**

"Everything seems pretty okay in there."

Alice swung her feet over the hospital bed as a male medic gave her the diagnostic on her mental state.

The medic looked over some notes on his clipboard before continuing to explain Alice's state of mind to her.

"Basically Alice-san, you've got a fairly solid mind there. You've passed the basic mental test in order to be a shinobi, there's just a few mental quirks that we found. First of all, your thoughts on having ADHD were somewhat right. You said you mother didn't drink or smoke during the time of your conceiving, so that ruled out any chemical involvement in your development of this disorder. According to stories of your youth, I would have to say it developed during some point when you were younger. Did you have any trouble with twitchiness or attention-span in your younger years?"

The brunette tipped her head to the side in thought, chewing her lip softly. "Well…I always seemed–I still do–to be daydreaming, nonstop, around the clock ya know?" Alice tugged on her side-ponytail slightly;

'Another habitual quirk of nervousness,' noted the medic absently before pencilling it in alongside the numerous other ones the girl seemed to have.

"I often got distracted because of it," continued Alice. "The real attention problems started around year four. Sorry, about six years ago, I was going by schooling years. At that time, I began to drum my fingers and jiggle my feet around, but it didn't develop any further until year seven, three years later."

The medic continued to nod during Alice's explanation, adding in extra notes to his medical report when needed. "As for your little…_quirks _Alice-san, you listed several: beating your feet and fingers in rhythm when stressed, whistling a selected tune when reverting to a bored mindset, random words blurted out at a seemingly random time, and the most prominent, mimicking people's actions and incorporating them into your movements subconsciously. We also have your mild case of bipolar attitude, you're lucky that it's a mild case or there would be no chance of you becoming a ninja."

Alice's lips twisted down distastefully, "well that wouldn't do."

"No it wouldn't, would it?" Chuckled the medic as he handed the medical report to a nearby nurse and gestured for Alice to stand up. "You're free to go Alice-san, I heard Hokage-sama was asking for you."

"Shit." Alice moaned slightly, "what the fuck did I do this time?"

"Various stages of politeness as well." Noted the medic critically but quickly softened when Alice flinched at his comment. "Ah well Alice-san, off you go."

Not forgetting the politeness comment, Alice bowed to the medic before racing off to go see that Hokage-oyaji who was asking for her.

* * *

"Hello Oyaji~"

Said old man looked up from the paperwork he was currently filling out and smiled at the image of one his more favoured younglings throwing the door open dramatically and posing.

"Hello Alice-chan. I'm glad to see you're excited to see me."

"Of course Hokage-oyaji," answered Alice easily as she sauntered over to the chair she normally sat in and threw herself in it. "What's the suss today?"

Hiruzen stretched his aching back discreetly and shuffled the paperwork so it was out of the way before turning his full attention to the girl in front of him. "Well Alice-chan, I've called you in here today to talk some more about the Chunin exams."

Alice groaned in answer and slumped down in the chair more. "Don't remind me! It's less than a week away and I'm already nervous! What do you specifically want to talk about in these stupid exams?"

"Your team members." Hiruzen looked at the girl intently as she twitched from his casual remark. "More specifically, how did you get them?"

"Well…" Alice chuckled nervously and tugged at her ponytail. "It was a bit difficult at the start, but I managed it!"

"How Alice?"

The girl drummed her fingers on the desk and looked anywhere but the authority figure in front of her. "It involved doing things that were unimaginable. The horrors I had to go through…"

* * *

"You are the best sensei ever."

Alice grovelled at her sensei's feet before looking u with puppy dog eyes. "I'll be forever grateful to you if you just let me have one!"

Kakashi blinked at the girl at his feet, "Alice…"

"Your teaching methods are better! You're way cooler! I would never pick Anko-n-_Anko!_ Over you!"

* * *

Clasping her hands tightly, Alice lifted the appendages and shook them at her sensei.

"Please! I love you way more than that stupid scarecrow! I'll be your bitch from now to forever! I'll do anything!..."

Anko smirked as her disciple kissed the ground she walked. Gone on a week-long mission and she already had the brat begging her. She could deal with this.

* * *

Alice shuddered at the memories, "I will never speak of such memories." She looked at her oyaji seriously, "let's just say my sensei's were kind enough and leave it at that. Okay?"

Hiruzen nodded hesitantly, but before he could ask any more information, a knock at the door interrupted him. He turned to the door and spoke a quiet 'come in.'

There was a flash of yellow and orange and suddenly one Uzumaki Naruto was bouncing around the room excitedly. "Hello jiji! Did ya miss me?! Well I for one didn't miss those D-rank missions! They suck so much! Why does an awesome ninja like me have to deal with lame missions like that?!"

His tirade would've gone on if it weren't for the fist that slammed down on his head. "Shut it usuratonkachi."

Sakura frowned slightly at her dark haired teammate as she and Kakashi entered the room behind her two male counterparts. "You shouldn't hit Naruto so hard Sasuke-kun! He was just excited to see his grandfather figure after our onslaught of D-ranks!"

The pink-haired girl put a glowing green hand on a whimpering Naruto's head and soothed the headache from Sasuke's punch. "There you are Naruto."

"Thanks a bunch Sakura-chan!" Cheered a now happy Naruto as his head cleared up. "You're the best!"

The girl blushed deeply at Naruto's heartfelt comment. "Thanks Naruto."

"Ugh," groaned Alice. "I think I'm going to be sick from the sweetness."

"AH!" Naruto pointed dramatically at the girl casually sprawled out in the chair in front of the Hokage. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?!"

The rest of Team Seven's genins turned with a surprised look to Alice while Kakashi waved cheerfully from the back.

Alice returned her part-time sensei's wave with her own before turning to the still pointing Naruto. "I was chatting with Hokage-oyaji here. What of it?"

Naruto scowled at her and marched into her personal space. "He's not your oyaji! He's _my _jiji!"

Now, Alice knew that the Hokage was Naruto's only family figure and he loved him deeply. She only called him oyaji because she knew that he disliked the stuffy Hokage-sama that everyone gave him and the fact that she had spent so much time in the leaders' time that she was quite attached to him might also add to it. Alice didn't want Naruto to feel abandoned by his jiji, and she actually was found of the old man, but she could easily twist this to her own benefit.

_Here comes the manipulative Alice…_

Putting on a massive grin, Alice poked Naruto on the nose firmly and pushed him away slightly as to get some room for herself. "Now, now my little Naru-chan. This problem is easily resolved. He's _my _oyaji," she poked herself in the chest. "And he's _your _jiji," she poked the confused blond firmly in the chest. "The best way to resolve this is that I simply must adopt you as my little brother. That way, he is _both _of _our _old man." She leant back in the chair more and submerged the smug smirk that threatened to overcome her deep into her subconsciousness.

There was silence in the room as the other occupants of the room took in this information.

* * *

Hiruzen hid the smirk that tried to cross his face. That Alice was a manipulative little thing, but she always seemed to use her talents for not just her benefit, but others. She was very selfless in that sense. By proclaiming that she and Naruto considered him a grandfather, you could instantly think that they were his grandchildren by her speech. Obviously she knew that and took advantage of it to adopt Naruto as her little brother, further cementing Naruto's ties to the village as a whole. Clever girl.

* * *

Kakashi's thoughts were much on the same track as his superior's. Alice had somehow developed a manipulative side some point along the timeline that she had been here. He wasn't sure where that had come from though. His first suspicion was that snake-woman Anko, but it could also be Shikaku and his brat Shikamaru that she had been hanging out with recently. Even worse, it could be from the death god currently residing inside of her. Either way, it was a devious plan that benefitted his team as a whole.

* * *

Meanwhile, Sakura had a niggling thought that drifted towards the thoughts of the two older men in the room. She quickly dismissed such a thought and focused on how sweet it was for Alice to adopt the parentless Naruto.

'**You idiot!' **Raged Inner Sakura, **'don't you see that Naruto's now your brother!'**

Unfortunately for Inner, Outer Sakura was used to ignoring her homicidal side and didn't listen to her subconsciousness's truthful proclamation.

'**Fine! Don't listen to me bitch!'**

* * *

Sasuke's thoughts were much like Inner's. He noted that both Sakura and Naruto were Alice's adopted siblings, both adopted by her, and judging by Naruto's hopeful look, neither minded it. Kakashi was also Alice's official guardian in a sense. He had taken the 'mission' that enlisted his abilities as a ninja of the Leaf to protect her (and by extension, the village from Shingami that was sealed in her). Kakashi was basically her father, and Sasuke…What the hell was Sasuke?! Everyone in his team had a tie to Alice except him. He didn't know if he could count her as a friend, _that man _would surely use any friends of his against him. So what the hell was Sasuke to Alice?

* * *

Out of everyone's thoughts and in the real world, Naruto was staring at Alice with a fragile and hopeful expression that he hid from his team with his bangs. Alice softened at his expression and quickly swooped in for a hug, her softer side being pulled at by the look on the blond.

"I'm happy to be called nee-san," whispered Alice quickly before continuing on past Naruto. "I'll see you guys later!" She quickly jumped out the always opened window before anyone could question her.

* * *

**Alice P.O.V.**

'That window was surprisingly easy to jump from…' I mused as I wandered through the streets of Konoha to my destination.

_Trying to kill yourself in such foolish matters is not going to help you save this world._

'Whatever Shingami.' The girl flicked off the presence in her mind before entering a shop that jingled with a merry bell. "Sasuke said this is where he gets his supplies from…"

The happy jingling of the bell didn't match the atmosphere inside of the shop. Alice had to duck a flying projectile quickly after she had closed the door. "What the-!"

Looking back to see what dangerous weapon was thrown, Alice saw…a bar of soap?

"What in Jashin's name is this place?" She whispered as she made her way further into the shop. Weapons and ninja supplies of all kinds were cluttered along the floors and benches in the 'shop.' It was a mini maze that Alice had to pick her way through to get to the counter, but she easily picked up the supplies that she had wished to buy.

"Exploding tags…Shuriken. Kunai…Oh there's that ninja wire Sasuke likes so much! Ration bars…Soldier pills will be useful. Anything else? Nope, okay!"

Tripping over some unknown object, Alice finally arrived at the counter of the shop. "Hello? Anybody there!"

A gloopy splash sounded from her right and Alice started at the sound. Peering at the strange, silvery liquid that bubbled sluggishly next to her, she shivered at the disgusting sounds it emitted.

A large clutter of voices rang out from the entryway behind the counter and distracted Alice's disgusted thoughts. She could see the figures of what looked like an adult male and female shrieking loudly and throwing an assortment of kitchen appliances at each other. Not scary or anything…

Shifting nervously, Alice tried to keep her attention elsewhere as the screaming match continued, but started again at the flurry of black that zoomed past and the resounding splash that echoed shortly after.

"Kami damn it! Why are you always throwing pans at my head!"

"I'm hoping that they'll knock some sense into you!"

Alice cowered at the booming shout that the male gave off as he came out of the adjoining room, and the scream of the enraged female that followed. She did feel her interest pique when the man pulled a pair of gloves on and dunked his hand in the vat of gloopy liquid, seemingly fishing around for something.

"The blasted pan landed in the chakra-conducting liquid you crazy bitch!"

Cowering again, Alice waited for the certain scream that would follow the man's comment. And sure enough, the woman came out to scream some more at the man, who quickly hung up the slightly dripping pan so that he could fend off–what Alice assumed–his wife.

"It's quick-drying you nincompoop! So stop your bitching!"

"I'll show you bitching!"

Alice drowned out the voices and gazed at the frying pan whose silvery layer of liquid had seemingly solidified. Much like quick-drying cement.

'Chakra-conducting huh?'

_Interesting…_

"We've got a customer you ass, so do your job!" The woman hit her male companion with the rolling pin she had obtained and walked into the back part of the shop with a huff.

"Sorry about my wife," laughed the man nervously as he pulled the gloves off and chucked them in the corner. "She can be a bit crazy sometimes."

"I heard that!"

"You were meant to!"

The man smiled at the nervous Alice, "what can I do for you girly?"

Said girly steeled her nerves before offering him the bundle of supplies she had clutched to her chest. "I wish to by these! Oh, and you can charge it to the Uchiha tab my kind sir!"

The kind sir chuckled at the girls antics and took the supplies from the girl, professionally ringing them up on the register on the counter. "I know you 'ain't taking advantage of Uchiha-san's account, you're that little foreigner he has staying with him, aren't you?"

"How does everyone know!" Grumbled Alice before reluctantly nodding at the man, "yes I am."

More laughter rumbled from the man's throat as he handed Alice a bag filled with her supplies. "Thanks for using this shop little miss, it would be my pleasure to serve you in the future!"

"Thank you very much." Alice bowed gratefully at what she decided to be one her favourite people in this world yet. She straightened up and went to leave, but paused when she caught sight of the silvery pan. "Um, sir?"

She got an answering grunt from the man and she hesitantly pointed at the pan. "Can I have that?"

"A pan?" The man asked sceptically. "What'cha gonna do with a pan little miss?"

"You said it was chakra-conductive, right?"

At the man's nod, Alice continued. "I would like to have it as I am striving to be a ninja, and kunai and shuriken aren't my strongest point. I'm barely average at throwing them, but back home I enjoyed swinging around large objects. I was pretty good with handling bō staffs when I could grab them. I think I would be better suited to the blunt force of that pan than to the pin-point accuracy of throwing weapons."

There was a pause as the man pondered over Alice's request. "Well little miss, I can safely say that this pan would be thrown out as soon as it's dry. Me and my family have been the suppliers of this towns source of chakra-conductive metals, but nobody would buy a frying pan that conducts metal! I'd say you've got yourself a new…weapon little miss."

Alice restrained the roar of triumph she wanted to let out and calmly took the pan from the man's offered grip. "I'm much obliged."

"Don't worry about it." The man waved off her proclamation and tapped the pan in a serious way. "The chakra-conducting metal coating this pan will make it stronger, more durable, and you can push your chakra through it so that it becomes twice as powerful!" The serious manner dissolved as the man waved at Alice, "have fun with it little miss!"

"I will!" Called Alice as she left the shop with her goodies. "Thank you so much!"

* * *

**Alice P.O.V.**

A jaunty whistle escaped my lips as I skipped down a backstreet, the pan spinning in my hands.

Kami! This thing was amazing!

It was so light in my hands, but I dented a lamppost early on when I swung the pan into it. Of course, I then had to run from the scene, but eh, it was worth.

Now I was happily walking the streets to the team meeting that Kakashi had called. Apparently I wasn't needed to come, but I was bored anyway. I didn't know anyone either than Team Seven, Anko, Hokage-oyaji and the troublesome two of Shikaku-san and Shikamaru.

Two of them were jōnin _and _my teachers, thus making it null and void to hang out like friends. They were like, ten years my seniors for Pete's sake! And don't even get me started on how many years senior Hokage-oyaji was to me. Team Seven always disappeared after training, I only knew where Sasuke lived anyways. And it would be worrying if I didn't, I _lived _there. As for the troublesome two, the elder was–_yet again_–senior and the other had left for a C-rank last night. He had told me at our latest match two days ago.

So I apparently had no friends. That's kind of sad, but ah well. I'll just have to practise more guitar; that was generally a good way to rid me of boredom.

I rounded a fence corner and froze at the sight that was in front of me. How could've I forgotten?! Sure, I was seeing it from the other angle than in the anime, but still! I could see it!

"How 'bout I crush this little pipsqueak?"

"Enough Kankurō, do you want _him _to see you goofing off?"

"Shut up Temari."

Holy mother of wizard god! The first thing from canon that I was witnessing! What the hell do I do? What do I say? How should I approach them? Wha-

_Stop your insufferable lamenting and go do something that will alter the future for the better._

'Gotcha Shingami-sama! I won't let you down!'

_So _now _you say sama._

"Excuse me."

The two sane Sand Siblings turned to face me, Kankurō with a sneer on his face and Temari with a rather haughty look.

"The Konoha brats just keep coming out of the woodwork like termites." Kankurō sent what I assumed to be a scary look at me, but the face paint kind of let him down in that aspect.

"I don't mean to be rude." I slipped past the two, Temari gripping her fan suddenly and Kankurō tightening his grip on Konohamaru steadily. "But if you wish to continue in the Chunin exams, I'm afraid you're going to have to drop the brat you're holding. He's out Hokage's grandson you see, and hurting him won't look too good on Suna's reputation."

Kankurō dropped Konohamaru like he was a boiling potato and the kid quickly scampered over to a confused Naruto that was standing nearby. I noted that Sakura, Moegi and Udon were standing nearby as they did in canon, all looking confused at my comment about the Chunin exams.

I made a show of blanking my expression except a small smile that looked a bit dreamy and tilted my head to the side.

Sasuke's chakra signature shone out as strong as ever in the tree to my right and behind. The signature as familiar as my own, and not well hidden that retard. The thing that caught my attention the most was the violent swirl of chakra right beside me. How could no one sense Gaara? He's like a fucking power beacon, just like Naruto. The only thing was, I couldn't hear any movement from him, breathing or small muscle spasms. How odd.

"You might want to get your companion to lower their bloodlust." My smile became more calculating, "he'll alert the nearby chunin level shinobi and up to his presence. Our village won't take killing intent being thrown around like free popcorn too easy.'

Temari and Kankurō froze, "wha-?"

"Shut up or I'll kill you."

And there was the man of the hour himself. I could sense the group's behind me surprise at Gaara's sudden appearance. A rustle from a tree indicated that Sasuke was surprised as well.

My right eyebrow quirked up at the stoic Gaara's face that was staring blankly into mine. For all his efforts, I could still see a glint of madness in his teal eyes.

"Hello there."

Gaara didn't respond to my greeting but I felt a soft thump behind me as Sasuke jumped off the branch he was hiding on.

"What are they doing here?" He put on his cool mask as he slid to a stop beside me, his crossed arm brushing against me slightly. Was ice princess trying to be reassuring?

_This world is doomed._

'Quiet you.'

I turned to my housemate with a flat look. "Obviously they're here for the Chunin exams Sasu-chan. Or are you not in the know?"

"Stop acting cool bitch."

A cry of pain escaped my lips as Sasuke's painful punch hit my arm. "You absolute ass! Why the fuck do you always do this to me?! What do I deserve for such woeful treatment?! It burns! Ah! It burns!"

The palpable tension seemed to disappear at my dramatic acting. Just as planned.

_Maybe this world won't end…_

'I thought I told you to be quiet!'

Naruto laughed from behind me as he walked towards Sasuke and I, dragging a reluctant Konohamaru behind him.

Thinking quickly, I scooped Konohamaru up and placed him on my shoulders. He wriggled a bit but settled down quickly, I had met the Konohamaru corps beforehand and I had seemingly given them a good impression.

I have no clue what they were on.

A tug at my left hand revealed Moegi to be holding it anxiously and Udon quickly hid behind me and Sasuke, peeking out anxiously at the Sand Siblings.

Sakura sighed in an exasperated way before standing on my left where Naruto also was. "Who wants to bet Kakashi-sensei was going to 'tell' us all about the exams in the next meeting?"

"I bet fifty!" I chipped in happily with a grin at her before Sakura's glare made me shut my mouth and faced back towards the Sand Siblings who were watching on with a disgruntled (Kankurō), slightly amused (Temari) and an impassive face (Gaara).

"I personally welcome you to Konohagakure and I hope your stay here is pleasant." I bowed deeply to the siblings, Konohamaru sliding forward slightly as I did so. "I also apologize for whatever grief my friends here have caused. They are green genin and don't recognise powerful shinobi when they're around, they mean no disrespect."

Judging from a pained noise to my left, Sakura must've quickly stepped on Naruto's foot before he could brashly say something offensive.

I knew there was a reason why I adopted her.

Gaara nodded in acknowledgement to my comment. "Who are you?"

"I am Clostar Alice," I offered to him with a smile. "To my right is Sasuke of the Uchiha clan. To my left, the female is Sakura of the Haruno clan, and the male is Uzumaki Naruto. We will surely be seeing you in the exams…"

"Sabaku no Temari."

"Sabaku no Kankurō."

"…Sabaku no Gaara."

I bowed quickly to them again before taking Udon's hand in my free one and leading him and Moegi away. "I shall see you then."

Turning from the siblings, I began to make my way down the alley where Sakura and Naruto had come from, Sasuke walking easily beside me. Naruto and Sakura fell into step beside me and we quietly walked down the dirt road. That was, until…

"WHAT THE HELL ARE THE CHUNIN EXAMS!"

"SHUT UP NARUTO-BAKA!"

"DON'T BE MEAN TO BOSS YOU HAG!"

"WHAT?!"

"Konohamaru…"

A sigh escaped my lips as Konohamaru slipped off my shoulders and began a shouting match with Sakura, Moegi let go of my hand to stop them, but Udon just glanced up at me and continued holding my hand.

"They're so loud."

Sasuke's quiet voice made me glance over to them. Instead of the grumpy look I expected, there was a slight smile on his face.

_This world's doom just came back online…_

I bumped shoulders with the Uchiha and offered him a smile when he looked up at me. "Would we really have it any other way?"

He looked thoughtful for amount before smirking and shaking his head softly.

We continued on in a content silenc-

"OH YEAH! WHY'D YOU ADOPT ME ALICE?!"

Fucking Dobe.

* * *

**Well that's that.**

**So we met the Sand Siblings and they seemed pretty chill. I quite like them, they're interesting characters.**

**Just a little note here. **

**The moment in the room where Hiruzen and Kakashi are commending Alice's manipulation skills in their head is totally wrong.**

**Alice can be really selfish, and that'll be shown later on. Alice isn't a goody-two-shoes who believes in light and dark. She's a somewhat Grey!OC. She'll do anything in her power to get the future in a better place, even if she breaks some things in the past.**

**I'll show it a lot more later on, **_**especially **_**in the Forest of Death. Kukuku…**

**Next time! We discover Alice's teammates and we get to see Anko finally meet Alice's 'lameass' teammates. Oh, and IBIKI-SAMA!**

**I love that guy.**


	17. Act 3 Part 1: Grey is my shade

**I have finished school! YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH BBBBBOOOOOOOYYYYYYYYYY!**

**I'm so happy right now. Either than my cold and C in English for apparently not reading enough and writing poorly, I'm good.**

**Here's a chapter!**

**Thanks all of you guys who Favourite, Follower or Review this story. It's a pleasure to write for you guys. Over 100 Followers and nearly 100 Favourites, hopefully it'll be 100 Review soon. That's my dream.**

* * *

**Disclaimer: **_Reverse Harem no jutsu! Winner of the war. And maybe of this story…that has no relation to me owning this manga_

**Warning: **_Language and finally Grey!Alice. I've been waiting so long for this!_

* * *

**Alice P.O.V.**

My frying pan felt comfortable in its belt on my back, exceedingly so as it calmed down my nervous stomach with its weight.

I was about to enter the academy to start the Chunin exams.

_I was about to do the freaking Chunin exams!_

A chattering noise echoed from my mouth before I clenched my jaw tightly. I was approaching the doorway of the academy, where a steady stream of chunin hopefuls were going through. Some of the competition looked rather tough and mean while others looked as harmless as the young kids they really were.

Slipping into a gap that appeared in the crowd, I managed to get through the doorway and up the first flight of stairs unnoticed. My sneakiness was turned up high and I lowered my head slightly so that my fringe shadowed the left side of my face. The side that was closest to the current predicament of the henged chunin examiners.

There was a crowd around the two 'genins' and all of them were protesting loudly at the fact that they were being barred from the room.

My eyes caught sight of a team of genins that were pleading to the guards to let them through. I scoffed at their stupidity and lack of honour. "Tch, idiots…"

"Now Alice-chan." A growling voice spoke near my ear. "No need to be mean."

I absently brushed my hand against the reassuring weight on my head and replied. "You're too soft, just like your paws."

Pakkun let out an amused huff, "it never ceases to amaze me how rude yet kind you can be. And yes, my paws are amazingly soft. Would you like to touch them some more?"

"Maybe later Pakkun." I saw a flash of bright pink in the corner of my vision. "I just have something to do before we go upstairs and do the exams."

"Whatever you say pup."

* * *

**3****rd**** Person P.O.V.**

Sasuke smirked superiorly at the two genins who dared to bar access to him. And his team. They thought that such a weak genjutsu could fool _his _eyes? Alice's henge was solid, these flimsy fakes were ridiculously easy to see through.

"Who do you think you're fooling?"

The Uchiha went to step forward and show the genins their place–especially that Hyūga–but just as all eyes turned to him, a hand suddenly covered his mouth, burning it with its heat.

His eyes flashed open in surprise. 'I didn't hear their movements or feel their presence!'

"Now, now Sasuke-chan." A playful voice echoed mockingly from behind him. "Don't say anything, this game isn't meant to be spoiled by presumptuous brats like you." Sasuke narrowed his eyes in recognition. 'This girl…'

Slipping out of the hands grasp, Sasuke came face-to-face with a crookedly grinning Alice.

"Alice-nee!"

"Alice!"

The brunette winked at Naruto and Sakura respectively as they came into the conversation. "How's my little bro and sis going?"

"Fine." Sakura smiled at her adopted older sister, "we haven't seen you in the past couple of days. Where have you been?"

Alice froze at that question and a shiver worked her way down her back. "Don't. Even. Go there. Let's just say my past couple of days have been spent building up my somewhat immunity to poison and getting beaten up by my own weapon." Her fingers brushed against the handle that peaked over her right shoulder and she shuddered again.

"Your secret sensei Alice-nee?" Naruto chirped happily as he got closer to the girl who had adopted him as her sibling in the past week.

"You bet!" Alice ruffled his hair and laughed at his pouting face.

"HEY YOU! DON'T TURN YOUR BACK ON US LIKE WE'RE NOT EVEN HERE!"

Alice's laughing face froze in a creepy way. She turned slowly to face a disguised genin who was pointing his finger rather rudely at her. "Did your mother never teach you manners before? Don't interrupt conversation dickwad."

The 'genin' spluttered sightly before getting fired up again. "You're the one who interrupted my conversation!"

"What?" Alice thumbed at Sasuke with an innocent expression on her face. "You mean, when princess-of-all-things-cold was about to interrupt your little fight with your _fellow genins_." She tilted her head at the sprawled figure of Rock Lee who was being held up by Tenten, both of which were staring at the new genins in curiosity.

The two 'genins' shared a look, it seemed that this one genin brat knew what this part of the exam was and wasn't going to tell. From the ninken on her head that belonged to Kakashi and the familiar smirk that was on her face, both Kotetsu and Izumo could tell that this was Anko's brat. The one who she always boasted about and who was apparently able to do a fully-fledged henge.

"That attitude will get you killed in these exams."

Alice merely stared at the 'genin' who had spoken and turned, intending to simply walk away and hurry up and get to the actual fucking exam.

"Where are you going Alice?" Sakura stared in a confused fashion at the girl who was _walking away_ from the exams!

The brunette didn't speak, simply grabbed Sakura in one hand and Naruto in the other, dragging them away.

"AH!" Naruto flailed slightly in effort to get away. "Where are we going Alice-nee?! The exam's that way!"

Glancing around at the other genin who were watching and noting that all of their attention was on her and her actions (exactly what she hadn't wanted!), Alice sighed in a suffering way. "I just wish to talk to you guys in private. Up on the _fourth_ floor."

Sasuke and Sakura's eyes widened slightly in realisation. Sakura began to follow Alice willingly, prompting Alice to release Naruto to let him follow, and Sasuke slouching slightly behind them.

They made their way up to the next storey in relative silence, the only words spoken were Alice's praise on Sakura's hair.

"You there! The one with the dark hair and the sharp eyes! Fight me!"

The quartet of genins all turned to see the boy from earlier staring determinedly at Sasuke.

'That hair!'

'Those _eyebrows_!'

'_That outfit_!'

Team Seven shivered at the horror that stood so boldly in front of them with his shiny, bowl cut hair, his insanely thick eyebrows and hideously green jumpsuit.

"Hello there!" Alice waved cheerfully at the boy. "You must be Gai's prodigy student, Rock Lee. I've heard of your strength before and I'm a huge fan!"

Team Seven's jaws dropped in surprise at Alice's cheerful acceptance of the boys' appearance. Oh, and her remarks that _this _genin was strong.

Lee's face lit up in a blush. "G-Gai-sensei's prodigy student?!"

"Yep." Alice nodded her head. "Maito Gai, taijutsu master of Konoha, Konoha's majestic green beast and Kakashi-sensei's rival. And you, Rock Lee, student of Gai, ex-dead last, currently training in the** Gouken**, teammate to Tenten and Neji Hyūga, the prodigy of the branch house and rookie of the year last year."

Everyone around her was surprised at Alice's wealth of information. Team Seven's surprise was the fact that she had so much information on a genin that they had never heard her mention. And Lee's was that he hadn't heard his Gai-sensei talk about this girl before. Gai-sensei knew of Kakashi's students and this girl was clearly a foreigner, someone who wouldn't get her own team because of the fact that she couldn't be trusted.

"LEE!"

Lee started at the shout of his name and turned to see his female teammate stomping up the stairs towards him. "Ah! TENTEN!"

"Be quiet."

Unconsciously, a snarl appeared on Alice's face at the cold remark that Neji spoke to the kind-hearted Lee. 'I can't stand Neji before Naruto sets him right!'

_Don't kill him. That was one death that shouldn't have had to be in the future._

'Of course Shingami-sama.'

"I'm sorry my rival! I'm afraid that my youthfulness got carried away!" Lee continued to shout at a loud decibel, hurting the ears of the people around him.

"Lee…" Tenten let out a sigh and kneaded at her temples. "Why are my teammates so frustrating?"

'What the hell is this team?' Sakura eyed the other team discreetly. 'One's the most hideous and loudest thing I've ever seen, one's one of the hottest males I've ever seen and the other is a normal girl.' She blinked in surprise. 'Wait, Naruto's outfit is pretty horrible, so that could make up for the bowl cut and eyebrows…Their team is just like mine!'

"You are Uchiha Sasuke right?!"

Sakura snapped out of her thoughts just in time to see Lee point and shout at Sasuke again. She watched as Sasuke nodded coolly in answer.

"Yosh! I wish to challenge you to a battle in strength! Let our flames of youth catch alight as we-"

"Now, now." Alice walked between the two dark-haired boys. "There's no need to fight. You'll have enough time to do that kind of stuff in the exams, you don't want to get tired before you can even start. Also," a smirk appeared on her face. "Sasuke-chan doesn't want to get beaten, his ego is already pretty deflated from his lack of awesomeness recently."

"Shut up bitch!"

Alice patted Sasuke on the head. "Awww, is little Sasuke-chan angry?"

"Okay Alice." Sakura pushed the brunette away from Sasuke before he could kill her. "Let's just go to the exams and get this over and done with."

"Whatever you say imōto!" Alice slung an arm over Sakura's shoulders and began to lead her up the rest of the stairs. She paused long enough to wave at Team Gai and yell out a goodbye. "See you in the exams Lee-san! I'm more than willing to help out your team if needed! Konoha should help out Konoha! Bye!"

Naruto nudged a fuming Sasuke and ran after the two girls. "C'mon Teme!"

"Shut it Dobe." Sasuke quickly jogged after his idiotic teammate and towards the exams."

* * *

"What a weird team." Tenten put her hands on her hip and quirked her eyebrows at departing backs of the rookie team. "The brightest shade of pink I've ever seen. The most hideous amount of orange I've ever seen. A cute kid with attitude problems. And…That was a foreigner, wasn't it? I've never met someone with an accent as strong as hers."

"Her fate shall stay the same." Neji calmly walked past his female teammate and headed for the exams as well. "She will lose to those who have been born into such a profession as ours. Fate has decreed it."

Tenten refrained from rolling her eyes at her teammate's melodramatic attitude. Why'd she have to get the weird team?

"Let our flames of youth explode!"

"Shut it Lee!"

* * *

"So, what was up with that creepy bowl cut kid from before?" Sakura peered at Alice's grinning face as she walked beside her. "And the dog on your head?"

Alice skipped forward a couple of steps and then turned to face Team Seven, Naruto and Sasuke having caught up by now. "That kid was Rock Lee, the dead last from last year and soon to be taijutsu prodigy. Give it three years and he'll be the most feared taijutsu master in the Elemental Nations behind his sensei Maito Gai."

Sasuke scoffed and crossed his arms. "If he was the dead last then he'll never go anywhere in life."

"Shut up Teme!" Naruto shook his fist at the Uchiha. "Even if you're labelled a dead last, doesn't mean you suck at being a ninja! That Lee kid seems awesome!"

"Right you are little bro!" Alice slowed her pace to drop back next to Naruto, slinging a familiar arm over his shoulder. "Show what the losers in this exams what it means to work hard!"

"YEAH!"

"Cheering up aside." Sakura muttered. "What's up with the pup on your head?" She did a double take and peered at the dog on Alice's head. "Has he been asleep the whole time through that Lee's shouting?!"

Alice reached up and patted the dogs' fur. "He must've done. But anyway, his name is Pakkun and he's-"

"One of my ninken."

"Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto shouted and pointed at his lazy teacher who barred the way into the exams.

"Yo!" The jōnin clapped his ever-present orange book shut and eye-smiled at his genin. Oh, and Alice.

"Sup Cyclops." Alice nodded at her part-time sensei, wary of the dog on her head.

"Hello Alice-chan." Kakashi gestured towards Pakkun. "Are you sure you want him as your teammate?"

"Yep!" Alice smiled at her sensei. "See you guys in the exams!" The brunette quickly made her way past Kakashi and into the doorway, not wanting to answer her friends' questions and listen to the boring speech Kakashi was going to tell them.

Upon entering the waiting room of the exams, Alice nearly froze at the amount of KI present in the air. It was nearly palpable, but Alice ha felt worse from Anko, so she shook it off and made her way to a quiet corner at the front of the room.

_So you consider them friends now._

Alice started slightly at her tenants' voice that suddenly spoke up about her previous thoughts on Team Seven. She fidgeted before answering the god.

'Well…kind of. I mean, what else can I call them? I basically have adopted two of them and the other is my roommate. I think we're friends.'

_It's been a while since you called anyone new that._

'Mn.'

The conversation died off and Alice wished for her IPod to listen to some good music and to block off the noises of her fellow contestants for the chunin rank. Or to actually become a ninja in her case.

_Do you not find that they don't trust you…irritating? Angering?_

'Not really. I'm not the most trusting person in two worlds and I can respect their military point of view. I find it more insulting that they don't place more ANBU on me. I mean, two ANBU?! That's just insulting to my entire ego.'

_They __**are **__the greatest fighters in this village. It would be overkill if they assigned five of them on one little girl. And it would draw other villages' attention to you, resulting probably your capturing and torturing. I did not go through all that effort to get you here, only for you to get killed off by some place like Kumo._

'I can see your points there. In a way, Konoha is caring for me. I sometimes wish that the ANBU wouldn't follow me _everywhere!_ It's really annoying to feel their presence following you everywhere. Their presence is so faint that it's just an annoying itch in the corner of my consciousness. But I can't scratch it!'

_You complain too much._

'…Shut up.'

_Fine._

"Why'd you runoff like that Alice-nee?! And what's up with that dog on your head?!"

Alice started and looked up to see Naruto shouting and running towards her, Sakura and Sasuke sighing in irritation at their teammate's behaviour.

"Quiet down Naruto." Sakura slapped her hand against her teammates' side, wary of not screaming and smashing her fist against his head like she used to.

Alice caught the grateful look that Naruto sent towards Sakura and answered them when they all got to her little corner. And the other competition had turn their attention away from them.

"I ran off for my own reasons and the dog on my head–as I said before–is Pakkun and is my teammate for this exam. Along with-"

"Yahoo! Found ya!"

Alice fumed and kicked the ground. "Is everyone finding it amusing to interrupt me?"

Naruto yelled something unintelligible at the grinning Kiba who had appeared in front of them, his teammates in tow.

The two loud mouths began to argue about something, so Alice took the moment to lean in to Sasuke's personal bubble and ask him some questions.

"Who's that team? I can tell it consists of an Aburame, Hyūga and an Inzuka, and that they must be in your academy class, but who are they?"

Sasuke actually obliged Alice and answered her questions. "The loud mouth Inzuka is Kiba, a prankster just like Naruto. The Hyūga is Hinata, I only know her name because she's the clan heiress and my clan had a rivalry with them. As for the Aburame, he's Shino, and that's all I know about him. He's really quiet and I don't think I've ever heard him talk."

Alice nodded in answer before getting closer to Team Eight. "Hey th-"

"Sasuke-kun~!"

"Fuck it!" Alice threw her hands up in the air. "I give up!" She sat on the ground, "I'll just be sitting here crying if anyone wants to know!"

Shino studied her under his glasses but dismissed her as unimportant.

"Did you miss me Sasuke-kun~?" Ino attempted to hug her crush from her position on his back. "I missed you sooooo much~ I bet it was hard being on a team with a billboard brow like Sakura." The blond paused to let her rival yell something at her, either at the fact she was touching Sasuke, she called her billboard brow, or both. But the shout never came.

Ino looked up from the struggling Sasuke and at her ex-friends bubblegum-pink hair. "Forehead?"

"Mn?" Sakura blinked and turned around from the comical sight of Alice crying fake tears on the ground. "Did you say something Ino?"

Said girl flapped her mouth in surprise a few times and Sasuke took advantage of her surprised state to wriggle out of her grasp.

'Sweet freedom!'

"What have you done with your hair forehead?" Ino put her hands on her hips, her confidence easily gathered again. "Trying to impress Sasuke-kun?"

Sakura touched her hair self-consciously. "Long, loose hair could be used against me, Alice advised me to cut it or wear it like I am now." The girl brushed her fingers against the long braid that was her hair. "Do you not like it Ino?"

"It's just a ploy to get Sasuke-kun to like you!" Ino jerked her head away stubbornly.

Sakura sighed in annoyance. "It's not Ino. I don't like Sasuke-kun anymore. You can have him if you want, I don't want to fight over him anymore."

"Lies! The kun on his name shows that you still like him!" Ino pointed her finger accusingly. "You can't trick me forehead!"

"Whatever Ino." Sakura turned away from the girl and went to talk with the quiet Hinata who was staring at Naruto talk to Kiba, a blush lighting up her face. "Come talk to me when you grow up."

Ino was left with her jaw hanging open again, aghast at the fact that the shy, insecure, little girl she once took under her wing had blossomed into a strong flower. Maybe even stronger than her.

She didn't notice her teammates joining the groups expanding circle.

"Troublesome…You guys are all doing this troublesome exam?"

Alice perked up at the drawling voice of her strategy buddy. "Is that you Shika?"

Shikamaru let out another grumble and nodded his head tiredly, leaning slightly on his big-boned teammate Chōji. "I should've known that with any trouble around, you'd be a part of it you troublesome girl."

The brunette laughed lightly and got up from her position on the ground, approaching the Nara boy. "I don't think you've introduced me to your teammates Shika. I would love to know the name of an adorable boy like this one." She patted the garbed head of Chōji who paused in his eating of his chips in order to blush.

"I'm Akimichi Chōji. Our female teammate is Yamanaka Ino."

"I know of Yamanaka!" Alice clapped her hands in remembrance. "Her father was the one who interrogated me!"

Ino sauntered into the scene. "You must've done something bad in order for daddy to interrogate you. What'd you do?"

"Oh I'm a foreigner." Alice laughed again and waved her hand dismissively. "Hokage-oyaji had to follow the procedure that follows the arrival of a foreigner. Just backstory bullshit."

'I fricking love Abridged Parody!'

_Oh Kami, shut up._

'Never!'

"Daddy talked about you!" Ino pointed dramatically at Alice. "You're the person whose mind he couldn't break into!"

Shikamaru tilted his head towards Alice. "You didn't tell me about that."

Instead of laughing it off like Shikamaru expected, Alice was staring coldly at his female teammate. "Oi Alice, what's with that look?"

Alice narrowed her eyes at Ino. "Who said that you could let such information be known? That is information that only your father and I are privy to, nobody else is to talk about it as it is a confidential topic and a secret weapon." She leaned in to the Yamanaka. "So little boar, who's to say that you could let out such information? You've just completed a crime against Konoha's military, you're now treading on thin ice. You'll shut your mouth if you know what's good for you."

Ino shuddered at the girls' cold tone of voice, especially at the thin layer of KI being outputted by her.

Alice leant out of Ino's personal space and noted that the rest of the rookies were looking at her. Various degrees of curiosity, suspicion and horror being directed at her. She stood more upright in her anger and levelled a steady look at them, "you will all keep your mouths shut tighter about information if you don't want to die a horrible death."

Kiba stepped forward in anger, baring his teeth at the brunette he didn't know. "Who the hell are you to say what we can and can't do?!"

"I am Alice. I say you shouldn't go about spewing your villages' secrets if you want to keep your head. You lot seem to forget that this isn't some game, Konoha is a military village and it can spare one meagre ninja rookie in order to keep its secrets."

"I couldn't have put it better." A different voice spoke up from behind Alice and she froze at the voice and at the fact that they managed to sneak up on her.

"I'm glad that I could be of assistance." Alice put on a cool façade and turned to Kabuto who was smirking at her. "Konoha ninja should help Konoha ninja. Right?"

Kabuto nodded in answer. "You are quite right. I am Kabuto, and you are?"

"Leaving." Alice brushed past the 'genin' suppressing a shudder at the disgusting taste of his chakra. Humongous in its size but still hidden well if you weren't a sensor.

She ignored the confused look that Sasuke sent her and made her way towards the large crowd of competition; all of which who either were staring at her or at the conversation that was being struck up between Kabuto and the rookies.

A flash of red caught her vision as Alice made her way past the front row. She turned her head slightly to catch Gaara's gaze, smiling in a mocking manner at him.

She continued up a few more flights of stairs, stopping in a small niche somewhere in the middle of the crowd and settling down on a bench there. She hadn't been sitting there for more than a minute when she was approached.

"Hey you."

Alice looked up to see a smirking face with black hair in a quiff looking down at her. "Can I help you Oto-nin?"

Zaku merely smirked wider. "I just wanted to say thanks for putting those rookies in place for me. They were beginning to grate on my nerves."

"You're not the only one." Kin stepped out from behind her teammate, Dosu flanking Zaku on the other side. "Those brats' loud voices were so tone deaf that I was tempted to gut them like the pigs they are."

"Interesting way to go about it." Alice put out a hand, "I'm Alice. Pleased to make your acquaintance Oto-nin. You're the first people in this exam who aren't trying to be tough or loud enough to make up for it."

"Kin." The Oto-girl laughed as she shook hands with Alice. "You're an interesting one. What village do you belong to? I don't see a headband on you, but that dog on your head has a tree-huggers' one. Don't tell me you're one of those peace-loving tree-huggers."

Alice tilted her hand in a deliberating way. "Yes and no. I'm a foreigner and Konoha was the village I ended up in. I haven't been allowed out of the village before and this village has enough dark secrets to keep me interested. So I thought, 'what the hell?' And joined 'em. It's not like I could go to any other village anyway."

The bandaged Oto-nin cocked his head to an insane angle. "Not necessarily. I'm Dosu punk, and if you want to blow this joint, talk to us after the exams."

"Yeah!" Zaku clapped the surprised brunette on the shoulder. "I'm Zaku and if you want some more…freedom, just approach us at any time."

'Holy fuck! I'm being offered a part in Oto's shinobi force! How the fuck do I answer?!'

_I did not foresee this coming._

'Great load of help you are.'

Alice put on a cocky smirk. "I might take you up on that offer. But first, let's get through this shitty exam."

"Right on," Zaku nodded. "When are they going to start these fucking tests?!"

"SHUT UP YOU MAGGOTS!"

Alice looked up at the black-haired boy. "There's your answer."

Ibiki's presence cowed the chatter and KI out of all of the competitors and complete silence followed his entrance. "All of you shut your mouths and listen up! This is how the first part of the exam is going down! So if you don't want your pathetic asses kicked out of here, listen up!"

Kin let out a low whistle. "Now that's a real man. And he's a tree-hugger?"

"Mn." Alice's smirk grew larger. "He's one of the reasons that I still play around here. Ibiki-sama is part of I&amp;T, the greatest member in many years. Don't get on his bad side. _Or else_."

"Scary." Dosu rolled his eyes. "Let's just hurry up and get this over and done with."

"I'm with you there." Alice and the Oto-nin joined the steady stream of genins who were grabbing a sheath of paper out of a box that Ibiki held and entering a door in order to get to the first part of the exams.

"Hello Ibiki-sama." Alice smiled at the scarred man as she grabbed a paper out of the box.

"Snake-brat." The man grunted before pushing her on.

Scanning the number, Alice made her way to her seat. Conveniently in the middle area and next to Kin.

"Pretend we don't know each other. They'll accuse us of cheating off each other otherwise." Alice managed to hiss quietly to the girl before sitting down. She adjusted the _still _somehow sleeping Pakkun on her head to a more comfortable position and prepared for what was to come.

'Should I cheat to get the answers or what?'

_You don't have any talents that are situated to such a situation._

'Yeah, I need to fix that…Anko's new genjutsu that she taught me won't be any help here.'

_I don't get why you learnt that jutsu. When are you actually going to use such a jutsu? It's useless._

'Well I can use it for fun, but I'm sure it'll help out at some point. You just wait.'

_Whatever you say. Just pretend to know the answers and write something down._

'Okay.'

There was a brief explanation by Ibiki to explain the rules, a lot of protesting came from the rules but were quickly stifled by Ibiki's KI. Finally it was time to do the exam, Alice flexed her fingers in preparation.

"You may begin!"

Flipping the paper over, Alice scanned the paper for a moment before freezing.

'No way!'

_Oh this is too good._

It was maths, English and scientific points that all linked up to being a ninja. Some just having weapons as a theme in order to confuse the people doing the exam.

'I thought I escaped this Kami-damned maths! Fucking hell!'

_Just be happy that there's science. You've learnt this stuff from your mother haven't you?_

'Yeah, I haven't been so glad to have gone through mum's lectures as I am now. I love you mum!'

_Stop your praises and do the test._

'Fine.'

Barely twenty minutes later, Alice had finished her test and was now bored. She noticed a flash of light and looked up to see mirrors on the ceiling, ninja wire leading down to Tenten who sat nearby.

'That's right. They're all cheating.'

_Well that __**is **__the point of this test. If this was a real information gathering mission, you would fail. Absolutely fail._

'I would just torture the information out of them.'

_This is __**discreet **__information gathering._

'Fuck discreet.'

_That's what it means to be a ninja._

'I know! Shut up!'

"Time's up maggots!"

Alice blinked rapidly. Time flew by when you were arguing with a sentient being inside your brain! Another series of blinking happened. She had never expected to say such a thing.

"Are you ready for question ten brats?! Know this, if you attempt this question and get it wrong, you can never retake this test again."

A round of protesting started up from the people in the room. Alice looked across to see Kin wearing an amused smirk on her face. "You're not buying this bullshit either?"

Kin looked to the smaller brunette, "not at all. Back in Oto, we have tests much like this. I wouldn't be here if I didn't have big enough balls."

"That's smart of Oto."

"We're pretty fucking proud of our cunning and preparation."

Alice let a smile curl her mouth discreetly. 'Their cunning and smarts seemed to have failed them when faced with Sakura in the real series.'

_They let their pride and arrogance get in the way._

'Mn.' Alice agreed absently before looking around at the leaving genin. There seemed to be a massive rush to get out of the door, it almost seemed like they were scared that they would stay genin forever if they didn't leave fast enough.

"Are you not backing down pup?"

Alice looked up at the face of the _finally awake_ dog who was hanging over her forehead in order to peer at her. "Nah Pakkun, I'm okay with this whole situation. If I don't get to become a genin, I can just leave this village for another, I haven't even cemented my citizenship here so it doesn't even matter."

Pakkun frowned at her. "That's pretty anti-Konoha talk."

"No it's not. I'm just looking out for myself."

"Hmmm…"

"Hey! You pinky promised that you wouldn't tell Kakashi-sensei the kind of stuff I say or get up to. I hold you to that!"

"Ugh, fine."

"SCREW YOU AND THIS TEST! I'M GONNA BECOME HOKAGE! EVEN IF I'M STILL A GENIN, I'LL BECOME THE GREATEST NINJA OF THIS VILLAGE!"

A fond smile crossed Alice's face, "that's my bro."

Everyone seemed to take heart from Naruto's mini-speech and there was a pause where no one left.

"Okay maggots." Ibiki's mouth quirked up in a smirk. "You all…PASS!"

"…**WHAT?!"**

Alice let out a laugh as Ibiki began to explain the real purpose of the test and answered several angry people's questions.

"What idiots…" Kin flicked her hair out of her face and leant forward on crossed arms. "Can we just stop the fucking talking and move on? Some of us wish to become a chunin before they die of old age. Tch, tree-huggers."

"You're right there." Alice put her head in her hand and tilted it, mindful of Pakkun. "But I believe that Ibiki-sama is finishing up. He's getting angry with all the questions and might snap soon. Or something else will happen…"

A shattering of glass in the window at the front of the room drew everyone's attention to it. A black mass flew through and some people could see a woman's figure as she flung kunai outwards to stick the corners to the wall. When the black tarp cleared, it read something along the lines of…

"THE EVER SEXY MITARASHI ANKO IS HERE!"

The whole room stared in shock at the posing, scantily dressed, purple-haired woman at the front of the room. That was, until a loud clapping drew their attention to a brunette dressed in black with a dog on her head that was standing up and applauding the crazy woman.

"Bravo nee-chan! Bravo! Take a bow!"

Anko grinned at her brat, "how was my stunt gaki?"

"A-class performance nee-chan!" Alice grinned back at her sensei. "Why don't you ever enter Sasuke's house in such a way to capture me? I'm always awake anyways and waiting for you to grab me."

Several things happened at once after Alice's casual remark. Firstly; Naruto stood up and pointed at Anko. "YOU'RE ALICE-NEE'S SECRET SENSEI?!"

Secondly; Ino let out a high-pitched scream. "THAT TRAMP IS SLEEPING AT SASUKE-KUN'S?!"

Thirdly; many males in the room had to hold back a nosebleed at the thoughts of what the crazy lady would be doing to that girl if she was kidnapping her.

Fourthly; Kin let out a low whistle and discreetly high-fived a grinning Alice. "Damn girl, you know how to make a ruckus."

"I know." Alice gave a nearby exasperated Sasuke a wink. "It's a talent."

* * *

**And it is finished!**

**How was that? Very different from the series in Alice's point of view. I wasn't too sure what to do with her when Kabuto came, but I decided it would be best if she just walked away. Then I was wondering if she should go chat to the Sand Siblings, but then decided that Gaara might kill her if she does. So I decided to make her chat to the Oto-nins. I quite like the idea of those guys being actual characters, Kami knows I've seen enough harems or pairings with Kin.**

**I hope you guys liked it 'cause it was a bitch to write. See you all later!**

**The greatest being ever, SunMoon Kunoichi.**

**P.S. Cheers for the reviews again guys.**


	18. Act 3 Part 2: Enter Training Ground 44!

**Don't you just hate it when people don't reply to your PMs or reviews? Like Kami! 'I know you've gotten my message! You've seen it in your email inbox or on your PM inbox, answer me asshole!'**

**People are annoying.**

**But here you guys are! Another chapter so soon as I got 9 whole reviews for my last chapter! Huzzah for the support!**

* * *

**Disclaimer: **_What the hell is going on in Naruto? Don't own this rip off version_

**Warning: **_Language and more Grey!Alice oh yeah!_

* * *

**Alice P.O.V.**

After Anko did her dramatic entrance and everyone got over her awesomeness, she led us off to the greatest place in the world! Seriously, I love it there! It's like my second home with the amount of times Anko has drugged me and I've woken up there.

Maybe I don't love it so much when the giant ass tigers are after me, but they're real sweethearts deep down. I'm just too delicious for them to resist!

"You've really got to stop making friends with weirdos."

I started at the sudden comment, but recovered quickly to stick my tongue out at the sulking Sasuke next to me. "You're just jealous because Anko-nee is _way _cooler than you'll ever be Sunshine!"

Sasuke scoffed in answer as he crossed his arms. "As if."

"It seems like some little brat is doubting me again~!"

The nearby shinobi leap back at Anko's sudden appearance behind me as she leant over my shoulder to peer at Sasuke, but I didn't even flinch as I was used to her doing such sudden surprises that I was immune to it. She would always use shushin to get the jump on me that crazy woman!

"Aw give him a break nee-chan." I patted Anko's face in a soothing manner. "The little brat just doesn't understand artistic flair, even if it pulled his tighty-whitey's over his head and choked him with them."

"Oh Kami gaki," Anko laughed at Sasuke's angered expression and leant on me further. "I knew there was a reason why I kept you around."

"And it wasn't just for my good looks!"

"No it wasn't…" Anko's arm around my shoulder that was keeping her upright tightened significantly and she dropped her voice into a deadly whisper so that no one could hear. "If you hurt her gaki…! There _will _be _pain_!"

"Of course Anko-nee," I said solemnly. "I wouldn't hurt her even if your dickwad sensei himself asked me to!"

Anko just gave me a knowing look before bounding in front of the collected group and beginning her explanation of Training Grounds Forty-four; The Forest of Death!

With capitals I might add! Just to make sure you guys know it's important!

_Make sure who knows it's important? I'm the only one who can hear you!_

Shh! Fourth wall stuff, don't break it!

_Wha-_

Shh!

Anko swayed her hips as she finished her introduction to the second exams. "So I'll give your teams a random scroll, either Heaven or Earth, _after _you sign the consent forms."

"What do you mean by consent forms?!" Kiba called from his spot in the crowd near me. "What the hell are we giving you consent to?"

Anko and I shared a look and rolled our eyes at the lack of this years genins brains. Idiots think they're invincible.

"Your death obviously." Anko licked her lips and grinned in a sadistic way at the Inzuka. "Now if you want to stop wasting my time, let's hand out these forms."

She divided the stack of papers she held in her arms to several people in front of her, Naruto included. They all took one and began to pass them around, slowly making their way towards the back of the sizable crowd.

Picking my own form up and passing the rest on, I slyly held it up to my face as I peered around at the competition.

'There's Orochimaru…I can't even tell if he's a man or a woman. Like really, what the fuck is that guy?'

The disguised Orochimaru picked up his-its-her form and licked shims' lips with its freakily long tongue.

_Well you called him a guy, obviously you're thinking he's a male. And what the hell is a shim?_

'I call everyone guy or dude, deal with it. And a shim is a she, plus a him. Do you get it? I'm a freaking genius!'

_Just shut up and fill in the form._

'Aye, aye captain!'

I made my way over to where Team Seven sat, Sasuke leaning against a tree with his holier-than-thou attitude, while Sakura sat on the ground nearby and Naruto hung off a branch and read the form upside down.

"Sup losers!"

Naruto instantly looked up and prepared to yell at whoever called him a loser, but visibly deflated when he noticed it was me. "Oh hey nee-chan. I should've known it was you."

"Yeah you should've Naruto," Sakura remarked, not looking up from her form. "How long has she been greeting us like this? Ten weeks? Eleven?"

"I lost track of time," Naruto shrugged before going back to reading the form.

My shoulders slumped at their lack of reaction. "I knew I shouldn't have always greeted you guys like that, now you're immune to my awesomeness."

"Whatever you say Alice," Sakura said.

"_Whatever_ you noobs, I'll just be quiet now." I sat down with a huff and leant back against the tree beside Sasuke's legs.

"That's a first."

I glared up at Sasuke's smug face. "No one asked you, ya little bit-"

"Sasuke-kun!" Ino waved at her crush from over the other side of the field where she sat with Shika and Chōji.

My anger boiled over again and I punched the ground in my fury. "I thought we finished this crap in the last chapter!"

"What?" Sakura looked at me in a confused fashion.

"What?" I replied.

She looked at me distrustfully before writing off the last few parts of her form and addressed her team. "When you guys are finished, we'll all go up and hand in our forms so we can get our scroll and get this over and done with."

"Okay Sakura-chan!" Came Naruto's chirpy reply.

"Hn." Yeah, you can guess who said that.

I rolled my eyes at their responses before picking up a dozing Pakkun off my head. "Wake up Pakkun. I need to know if your boss _did _sign those consent forms for you."

Pakkun let out a soft snort before opening one droopy eye to stare at me. "Of course he did pup, don't you worry your soft little head about it."

"You better be talking about my hair."

"Of course pup."

"Naruto-nii!"

The blond in the tree above me started at the sudden shout and fell off his branch, hitting the ground with a dull thump.

"There goes the brain cells we need for this exam," muttered Sasuke.

I stifled a laugh at his comment and turned my gaze to the three small kids running towards us in their excitement. "Aw, the chibi corps are here. I love these kids!"

"That makes one," Sasuke continued to mutter.

"Yeah Alice," Sakura agreed with the asshole, "Konohamaru _is _a little brat, but the other two are kind of cute."

"Moegi-chan!" I called to the blushing girl. "What are you guys here for?"

Well I already knew the answer, but it didn't hurt to be polite every once in a while.

_You've got the while part right._

Moegi waved cheerfully at me before running over, jumping down into a sitting position in front of me. "Well Alice-nee, Konohamaru, Udon and I have been chosen to write an article on the exams for our school newspaper! And we decided to interview Naruto-nii's team since you guys seemed so cool!"

I couldn't help but laugh at the girls' enthusiasm. "Sounds like a big honour Moegi-chan, I'm sure Naruto-chan, Sakura-chan and the ball of sunshine behind me would love to answer your questions!"

My comments of the sunshine behind me were rewarded with a solid kick to the spine. "Ah fu-!" I remembered that little kids in front of me and turned the curse to that of a year three calibre. "-dge muffins! Fudge muffins…he he, yeah…"

"You're so lame it almost makes me sad," Sasuke's amused voice came from behind me. "I think I feel a tear coming up."

"You must be so proud," I drawled, "your first tear. Little Sasuke-chan is finally growing up to be a real human."

Another sandal to the back.

"Mother ducking son of a gun!"

"Lame."

"Go screw you yourself Uchiha since no one else would do it for you willingly!"

"I have a legion of fangirls, what do you have?"

My arm wrapped around an observing Sakura possessively. "A family. I have younger siblings you ass!"

Sasuke froze at my last comment and the other conversations around me died down. Naruto stopped trying to convince Konohamaru that he was cooler than Sasuke in favour of looking at me in shock. Sakura stiffened in my grip and looked between Sasuke and I in fear.

_You've really done it now._

'It's all part of the plan Shingami-sama.'

_So you're getting serious now are you? Good, I was getting tired of your idiot mask, and this manipulation works in our favour anyway._

'Of course Shingami-sama.'

"Shut up."

Sasuke's now angry eyes glared into mine. "Just shut up you freak! You don't understand anything! You're just some stupid freak that's waltzed into Konoha and has decided to screw my life up. Shut up you demon."

Trying not to show how much his comments on my tenant hurt, I simply blinked and pulled on my cold façade. My face dropped into one with no emotion and I easily slipped my arm away from Sakura and stood up. Naruto made a move to intercept me but hesitated, I sent him a look of reassurance before walking away, completed form in my hand.

"That was uncalled for pup," Pakkun commented from my arms where he had settled after I had taken him off my head. "Why would you say that?"

"It was necessary Pakkun," I replied. "Sasuke needs to realise he isn't special and that everyone won't treat him as such just because he's the last Uchiha. I've been trying to do it subtly the entire time I've been here, but the events that are going to come to pass in this next exam forced me to play my hand quicker than expected."

"What events?" Pakkun looked up at me suspiciously as I drew nearer to the tent where you had to exchange your consent forms for a scroll.

"You can smell it can't you Pakkun?" My gaze hardened and my grip on Pakkun tightened. "That smell and taste of foreboding in the air. I trust my gut, and my gut is telling me that some funky stuff is going to go down. Go down _hard._"

"Whatever you say pup." Pakkun leapt up onto my head and settled back down to his usual spot. "I believe you there, this forest for all its scariness, is going to bring about a big change. A change that we may not like."

"No," I muttered. "We won't like _at all_."

* * *

My hands shook slightly as I made sure I had all of my supplies in the two pouches attached to my belt. The pouches were bulging with several sealing scrolls that had huge supplies of food, weapons and medical equipment just in case. There was also several dummy copies of the scrolls that I had made prior to taking the exams. The Earth scroll in my hand looked so fragile and unimportant that I almost laughed at his real significance.

"Are you ready pup?"

I bobbed my head at Pakkuns' question. "Are you comfortable on my head Pakkun?"

"Yes. I can sniff out any enemies easier this way and you now have an extra advantage on sight with me on your head."

"Thanks Pakkun." I adjusted my frying pan more securely on my back and tightened the bandages that always covered my frostbitten left arm. "I'll just hide my scroll…"

Keeping a wary eye on the chunin who was looking over the massive gate to the forest I was standing in front, I put my hand on the bulge that rested in my top. "Akemi-chan. C'mon Akemi-chan, it's time to wake up and start the exams."

Pakkun gave a snort at the tickling action my fingers were giving the shifting bulge. "I can't believe you called that thing bright and beautiful."

"She's beautiful and bright Pakkun, she's the prettiest little thing I've ever seen." I leaned down to the bulge that was slowly making its way up my top. "Isn't that right Akemi-chan?"

There was a hissing noise and I laughed at the tickling sensation that Akemi's forked tongue caused on my chest. "That's ticklish Akemi-chan! Hurry up and come out sleepy head! We've got an exam to ace!"

Akemi sleepily nodded her silvery head before coiling around my neck comfortably, hissing slightly all the while.

I noticed Pakkun peering down at Akemi with a disbelieving expression on his face. "How can you let a pup of a Boa Constrictor and a Coastal Taipan just hang around your neck like that?"

I laughed at stroked his head reassuringly. "Akemi-chan was a runt of the…litter of snakes she was bred into. Anko-nee only had her in her collection of snakes because she _owns _the mother of Akemi-chan. Anko-nee didn't ever use Akemi-chan in battle because she's so docile, but she's fiercely protective of her, just like Akemi-chan is to those who hurt her friends. Did you know? Some cat started hissing at me just after I had collected Akemi-chan and Akemi-chan suddenly rose up and hissed at the cat! She was so awesome!" I rubbed my cheek against Akemi's unique scales. "I love Akemi-chan 'cause she's the best and I trust her with my life! Just as she trusts me!"

"Oh Kami," I heard Pakkun grumble. "Where did the real ninja go? I'm stuck with a snake fangirl."

"Oh the real _kunoichi _is here Pakkun." I let a smirk cross my lips as I waited for Anko to open the gates. "Just you wait…"

I wagged the scroll in front of Akemi's face. "Do you mind Akemi-chan? Just like we practised before, and if you found it uncomfortable, then just cough it up. Okay?"

The snake around make neck nodded again before opening her mouth impossibly wide and began to eat the scroll, swallowing it whole.

"That's gross," Pakkun commented on my head.

I shrugged, "Don't blame her, it's an awesome mechanism that's going to save our asses."

'Thank you Orochimaru!'

_I can't believe that creep gave you an idea like that._

I ignored Shingami in favour of winding a finished Akemi around my neck more securely. "Are you ready guys? 'Cause we're going to hunt down that competition!"

"I DECLARE THE SECOND PART OF THE CHUNIN EXAMS TO BEGIN, **NOW!**"

The gates swung open and my constant smirk grew bigger as I darted into the trees. "This exam won't know what bitch slapped its face!"

* * *

My eyes narrowed as I caught sight of the group of genin beneath me. I crept along the branch I was on, making sure to not to make a single noise as I did so.

Akemi hissed in my ear and I nodded softly to her, the smirk on my face never leaving. The snake slowly slid down my neck and draped herself on the branch, slowly winding along it to get to the trunk of the tree. I watched as she carefully made her way down the tree and into the lush grass the genin were setting up camp on, even though it wasn't even a three hours into the exams.

A flash of silver caught my attention as Akemi signalled to me with her tail. One of the genin got up and left, obviously going to pee or get more water. Whatever floats his boat.

My sandals gripped the bark easily when I shimmied to the end of the branch, making sure not to bend it too much. I bunched my muscles and leapt to the next tree, barely rustling the leaves as I landed on another branch.

'I thank Anko for such good lessons on stealth and travelling through these trees.'

_I thank her too, but now you know what you must do…_

My gaze hardened as I approached the genin who was bending down to scoop water up into his flask. He was such an easy target for me in the trees above…

_You know what to do…_

'_**Kill all humanity…'**_

My smirk widened as I fingered a kunai I had pulled from my pouch. What should I go for? There was so many choices, but…

'The spinal cord.'

_Excellent my vessel_

I stood up in a crouch and braced my legs, arms curled out in claws and my kunai gripped firmly. There was almost a silence in the forest as my target bared his neck to me once more.

'Now.'

There was a swirl of air going past me and I absently noted that Pakkun's claws gripped my head rather tightly as I fell. My feet landed with a light tap and before my prey could move, my kunai flashed across in a slash that neatly severed his spinal cord and rendered him paralysed throughout his body.

"Shingami-sama shall take your soul." Was all I said to the clearly terrified boy before I picked his limp neck up and snapped it cleanly. Stabbing his throat would result in him making possible gurgling noises, and that was a mistake that I couldn't make.

"Are you alright pup?" I heard Pakkun's concerned tone as I closed the eyes of the unknown boy from a lesser village.

"Quite Pakkun." I cleaned my hands of his presence and stood up. "Next stage commence."

I had been observing this particular team for over an hour, listening to them talk and move, making sure that I could memorise all of their little habits. The one trouble I had was matching my chakra to those of my preys', something that Anko and I had touched on in a previous training session.

Looking over the corpse once more, I supressed my chakra to his level and formed the necessary hand seals. A cloud of smoke overcame me, but I ignored it in favour of placing Pakkun on a nearby tree.

"Stay here Pakkun," I requested in my barely deeper voice. "I shall finish the mission as quickly as possible and then return."

I could tell the dog was unnerved by my blank expression, but that quickly changed when I transformed my expression to one of innocence and of joy. "Don't worry puppy." I patted his head before picking up the water flasks that the boy had dropped, "I'll be fine!"

After reassuring Pakkun, I did a brisk walk back towards the other two of 'my' team. It wouldn't do if they got antsy.

"Hachirō. Moriko-san."

"Hotaka!" Hissed the black-haired girl I knew to be Moriko. "Not so loud you oaf!"

"Moriko," warned a brunet called Hachirō, my preys' brother. "No need to be so rude. Hotaka-kun is just informing us he's back." The twelve year old turned his dark gaze towards me, "isn't that right Hotaka-kun?"

"Yep." I placed the water flasks in front of them and took my preys' previous spot in the triangle they had formed. "Here's the water you guys. Enjoy."

"Tch." Moriko scoffed and shook her long hair before taking one of the flasks. "Took you long enough oaf."

"He he." I laughed in a cute way as I scratched my brown hair. "I'm sorry Moriko-san, you see, I was kind of busy at the moment. A really cute butterfly came through…"

"I shouldn't be surprised." Moriko ignored me in favour of drinking some water. There was a pause in the conversation as we all drank, that was, until the next stage of my mission began.

"Kyah!" Moriko shrieked and dropped her flask, standing up swiftly and backing away. "A snake! You two! Get up and move away!"

Both Hachirō and I stood up and moved beside her as Akemi slithered into view, acting her usual docile self.

"Calm dowm Moriko-san." I went on my hands and knees, offering my hand to Akemi. "She won't bite. She's just passing through."

My preys' teammates stuttered some as Akemi coiled her way up my arm and settled around my shoulders comfortably. I turned to my preys' teammates and beamed at them, "see!"

There was a tense moment as my preys' teammates studied the lazy looking Akemi on my arms before they too relaxed.

"I guessed she isn't so bad." Hachirō approached me and reached out a hand to brush his fingers against Akemi's silver scales. "She's quite nice. Do you want to touch her scales Moriko?"

The girl hesitated before approaching to, "I guess so." She too ran her fingers along the scales of Akemi, marvelling out loud at the silky feeling of them.

I kept my preys' bright smile up even as one of my hands let go of Akemi in favour of grabbing the windpipe of Morikos'. The girl always screams the loudest.

"Ho-!"

That was all Hachirō could get out before Akemi wrapped herself around his neck, constricting his vocal cords and windpipe.

"Shh…" My preys' smile didn't leave me as I snapped Morikos' neck. "Shingami apologises for doing this, but your sacrifice is necessary for my mission to go smoothly."

The boys' brown eyes bugged out almost comically as red veins began to take over the white of his eyes. I watched with the bright smile on my face as the veins in his eyes all burst and bled red colouring across the whites. He made a few choking noises before finally giving up and passing out. Akemi didn't relent though, only stopping when I informed her that he had died.

"Thank you Akemi-chan." The snake wound up my arms as I dropped the henge, my face once again blank. "You did well."

The snake hissed happily and flickered her tongue across my cheek.

A small smile twitched my mouth before closing the two children's eyes who lay at my feet. "I believe it is a waste to leave such supplies lying around." I pulled a kunai from Morikos' pouch and examined it. "Good craftsmanship."

Deciding to grab Pakkun before I finished _salvaging _the team of genin of supplies, I hefted Akemi to a more comfortable position and began to make my way back to the dog waiting for me.

_Excellent work…_

* * *

I could still sense Pakkuns' discomfort at my previous actions. They had been my first kills and he was scared that I hadn't reacted yet, but I didn't have time, I could taste the foul stench I had been hunting nearby and my friends just another ten kilometres away.

"I am quite alright Pakkun." I patted the dog on my head reassuringly. "You just keep looking out for enemies okay?"

The dog grunted before sniffing the air. "I smell…" There was a pause before he cursed. "Damn it pup! There's a stench of blood and sand in the next clearing, stop!"

I gasped in surprise, but couldn't stop my next leap as it carried me through a bunch of trees and into a clearing where fighting had obviously just happened. My sandals made a crunching noise as I landed on the dirt ground and slid across it to stick the landing, my eyes never leaving those of the three figures in front of me.

"Sabaku siblings huh? Just my luck."

Temari and Kankurō were obviously surprised by my sudden entrance as they dropped into battle stances, but Gaara's cool gaze bore into mine without flinching.

"Clostar Alice, you will prove my existence."

I let a confident smirk cross my face as I adopted a casual stance. "I wouldn't be so sure Sabaku no Gaara. I don't have time to play in the sandbox with you, I am preferring to play with something with fangs and scales, not insanity and sand."

Gaara's eyes narrowed at my dig at his tenant, but his sand still didn't move. "Why do you challenge me? Your existence means nothing to my existence. Your friends and family mean nothing. I will kill them all to prove my existence."

"That's cute." I laughed scornfully at him, painfully aware of Team Eight's presence as they tried their best to sneak away. "I believe you could never beat my little bro. You see," I tapped my nose and gave him a wink, "you're only one of a set of nine. Your little sand traps are no match for my little bro. You see, you're one while he's nine-o. Get it?"

Okay, so I totally did a Killer Bee there, but it was actually kind of awesome to do.

I could see Temari and Kankurō's shocked expressions from the corner of my eye. "N-no way!"

"Way." My lips curved up even more. "So unless you want a Kitsune on your little Tanuki ass, you better not touch mine."

Sand twitched and rose around me before dropping down in a heap. "Fine." Gaara glared at me in pure hatred. "I will crush your brother, and then I will crush you."

"Okay." I waved to him as I bunched my leg muscles. "You have fun with that. See ya Temari and Kankurō! I'll see you in the middle of the forest!"

"Bye…" I heard the slightly dazed reply of Temari as I leapt into the trees, intent on hurrying up and getting to my next objective in time.

"That was close pup." Pakkun shivered on my head. "I was so sure he was going to kill us then."

"So was I." My feet tapped in a rhythm against the tree branches. "But then I remembered that I am the queen of talking my way out of confrontations."

"Hm," Pakkun grunted. "But you _do _realise that you just broke a Konoha law? That you can't talk of Uzumaki's condition unless you have been consented to."

"It's not breaking the law if the person already knows of it."

"So they knew?"

"Not exactly. Gaara just…could tell. They feel a pull towards each other as fellow brothers. Trust me."

Pakkun didn't reply, so I concentrated on getting to my destination as quickly as possible.

* * *

About thirty minutes had passed before anyone said anything.

"Pup! A huge wash of chakra just exploded a kilometre ahead of you! There's a stench of snake covering the entire area!...I've smelt this scent before!"

"Thanks Pakkun," I managed to pant before kicking up the pace some more. Ten kilometres was a long way to run and even though Anko's training prepared me for long distances, I was still slightly winded.

A rolling sensation of fear brought my senses under momentarily as another pulse of chakra swept over my chakra sensors.

"F-fuck that's ridiculous!" My knees trembled as I barely made another jump. "I've never felt KI as strong as this before!"

_Calm yourself…_

The fear began to ebb away as Shingami's presence reared up in me, the familiar presence calming me slightly.

'What do I do?!'

_The plan. You had planned this out so many times, you can do this with your eyes closed._

My leaps got steadier as Shingami continued to talk. 'Yes. I've planned for this.'

_I'm going to take your fear away. Your fear is of death, and that is absurd because you are fearing me. I will not have my vessel fearing death when she has a death god in her! Take care, for even if you have no fear, you can still die._

I smiled broadly at my tenants concern. 'Thank you, Shingami-sama.'

_Enough of that vessel, just fix the future._

'As you wish.'

* * *

**Gah! What the hell was that?! Cliff-hanger? S****o totally random and weird. WTF?!**

**Ah well, hopefully y'all like it.**

**Why did Alice kill those genin you may ask? Why, because she hadn't killed before and wanted to be able to kill with no remorse or hesitation if needed later on in the exams, so it's better to get it over and done with at the start in a controlled environment. She also has no straight forward, charging attacks like many other people in this exam and series. Hebi style is a taijutsu style that is heavily based on flexible dodging, not charging in wily-nily. Also, some people have complained about not enough mimicking, so here you are!**

**Oh, and controversy with little Sasuke-chan! Oh ho ho, what will happen there? Only time will tell.**

**Who was surprised about Akemi-chan? I love her very much and I was wondering how no one picked up on who Alice's third teammate would be. She asked Anko, so…Do you get it now?**

**Anyway, thanks a bunch guys for your reviews!**

**Ciao.**


	19. Act 3 Part 3: One too many

**This is it. The moment apparently a lot of you have been waiting for.**

**I'm sorry for the (completely unintentional) cliffhanger of the previous chapter, but here it is and it's going to make a lot of you raise eyebrows in disbelief or confusion. And no, there will be no saving of Sasuke. Because, as we all should know now, Alice is a bitch who could and will leave someone to die if it benefits her.**

**So kick back and enjoy what is sure to be a strange and confusing chapter. Kukuku…**

* * *

**Disclaimer: **_I only own the Ever Sexy Alice Clostar and her adorable companion Akemi-chan_

**Warning: **_Yep, totally prepare your asses for some diabolical stuff and disappointment if this doesn't go how you expected, 'cause Alice ain't a hero. Oui?_

* * *

**3****rd**** Person P.O.V.**

Alice's breath hitched as she paused for a break and leant against the tree for support. "Got to…keep…moving."

"Pup." Pakkun shivered on her head, claws unconsciously drawing blood from her scalp. "Are you sure you want to go there? This presence…only one person could have a presence this strong and with a scent like that! It's-"

"Orochimaru." Alice stood up straight, trying to keep her exhaustedly shaking knees still. "It's the Snake of the three Sannin and one of the most formidable shinobi to come from Konoha. I know. His scent reminds of Anko-nee, and I've never felt a presence of chakra this big either than when I'm with Hokage-oyaji. It couldn't be anyone else." Unsealing a scroll, she grabbed a jar of pills and unscrewed the lid, chucking one of the pills in her mouth and crunching it down.

"Soldier pills?" Asked Pakkun.

Alice merely nodded before she bunched her leg muscles and leapt for the next tree, stumbling slightly as she landed. "I've got to hurry up, I can sense Team Seven's there."

"Kakashi's pups?" Pakkun asked disbelievingly.

"Yep." Alice formed a ram seal and summoned a vast amount of kage bunshin. She guessed around sixty of them appeared in the trees around her. The soldier pills really did wonders for your chakra reserves.

The kage bunshin nodded to the original and to a surprised Pakkun before scattering, their objective clear in their minds.

Pakkun really had no idea what to say to such a display.

A hissing sound emitted from Alice's shirt where Akemi had taken up refuge from the greater snake. She was scared of the scent that was ahead of her friend, it was an alpha snake that wasn't meant to be crossed. Yet Alice was heading straight for it! Maybe her friend didn't know what lay ahead.

The snake poked her head out of the top that Alice wore and hissed loudly up at the girl. Who barely spared her a glance as she picked up her pace.

"What is it Akemi-chan?"

The snakes' silvery tail coiled out of the top and around the brunettes' arm tugging it in an indication to stop.

And stop she did.

There was a sudden explosion of pain in Alice's gut and head, causing her to cry out and dropped in a boneless heap on the tree branch she was currently on.

"Ugh…AH!" The pain intensified and Alice curled up in a ball, trying to lessen the pain somehow. Pakkun and Akemi both whined and hissed at her respectively, unsure as to why their companion was in pain.

Alice's spine arched and she screamed slightly again, unknowingly bucking Pakkun off her head. Akemi hissed in pain as the girl rolled over her, quickly making her way out of the girls' top as to not get hurt anymore.

"Pup!" Pakkun nudged the screaming girl with his nose. "Pup! Are you alright?!"

Alice didn't reply, not for a long time. A few minutes later, the girls' screaming suddenly cut out and she went limp in a tangle of sweat and limbs.

"Hah…I'm…alright Pakkun…" The girl shakily sat up and brushed her limp fringe from her face. "I don't know what that was…but it felt worse than any brain attack Shingami-sama has caused me. I think I'm alright now though, we have to hurry! Team Seven is just in front of us!"

Pakkun let out another whine as the girl dragged herself upright and shakily picked the pug. "Pup, you can't face him after something like that!"

Akemi hissed in agreement as she wound her way up Alice's leg, the snake eventually making her way up to the girls' right arm.

"No Pakkun," Alice picked the pug up and placed him into a hollow of a tree branch. "You and Akemi-chan can't come with me." She picked up the struggling snake off her arm and placed her beside Pakkun, both looking worryingly up at her. "It's not because I don't want to be heroic and not let you risk your life, it's because you both will just slow me down." Alice tightened her side ponytail and adjusted her frying pan more securely on her back. "I'll come back for you if I can. If I don't return in twenty minutes, follow my scent, but be _very _careful about it. Okay?"

Akemi nodded her head in agreement and curled up to sulk. Pakkun let out another whine but he too nodded his head. "Stay safe pup. I hope you know what you're doing."

"I hope so too…" Alice turned from her two companions and began to jump tree branches, ignoring the trembling of her limbs as she did so.

_Are you ready?_

'Not in a million years.'

* * *

**Alice P.O.V.**

Smashing through the last few branches, I jumped straight into the clearing where Orochimaru and Team Seven were fighting. There was no point in being sneaky, Orochimaru was a fucking S-class ninja, he could easily detect me miles back. It didn't help that my screams were probably loud enough to alert him as well.

Taking in the situation as the people in the clearing stared at me in surprise, I noted that Naruto was already down for the count and was currently being treated by a shocked looking Sakura. Sasuke was standing in front of her in a protective manner, but his gaze was also fixed on me. Surprise and anger flitting through his eyes as they locked onto mine. I ignored him for the moment, turning to the disguised Orochimaru who was staring at me in a creepy manner.

"Kukuku…What do we have here? Another little birdy coming out of the forest to play?"

Licking my lips, I steeled myself and stood upright, hoping that I at least looked a little bit confident. "I prefer to be called something that isn't as flighty as a bird Orochimaru-sama. It's quite beneath me."

The man-who-currently-looked-like-a-woman laughed at me, his long tongue flicking around as he did so. "My, my, what an interesting one you are. Standing there like you own this place or something. Tell me," his eyes glimmered as he leaned forward to stare at me. "If you know who I am, why did you go rushing into this situation? You _must _know of my power, so it seems rather foolish to provoke me. But," he grinned at me, "these birdies must be important to you. Aren't they?"

Stepping back into a loose stance that enabled me to move into a defensive or offensive tactic, I smiled disarmingly back at him. "I came rushing in, not to be the hero, but to just learn some little facts that interest me. I'm well aware of your power and I respect you for that, if I tried to hide, you'd find me. If I tried to attack you, you'd kill me. So it's simple; I shall see how this predicament works out and then move on from there. As for these _birdies_. Yes, I believe they hold some sentimental value to me. Why do you ask?"

Orochimaru's hand came into view, toying with a kunai in a taunting manner that was meant to remind me that he held the power in this situation. Not that I didn't know it.

"So defensive aren't you? I don't know if it's a trait I admire or find disgustingly weak."

I shrugged casually. "Take it as you will, it doesn't especially matter."

A whistling noise made me freeze, the thudding noise behind me and the sudden pain in my cheek letting me know what happened.

"I don't like being interrupted brat." Orochimaru relaxed his body and dropped his outstretched hand. "Impertinence like that will get you killed."

I wisely kept my mouth shut, even though several sarcastic comments made themselves known in my mind.

_Stop this foolishness. Perhaps I should give you back the fear that I had readily taken away, maybe it would clear up the infuriating arrogance you seem to have suddenly possessed._

'I'm sorry Shingami-sama, I have forgotten my place.'

"Alice!"

My gaze snapped over to where a red-faced Sasuke yelled to me.

"Run away!" The dark-haired boy panted and trembled as he glared at me. "You can't take him on! He'll kill you!"

"I know."

Both he and Sakura stiffened at my casual and cold acceptance.

"I know he could easily kill me." I looked directly at Orochimaru as I spoke, noting at how he seemed to get more…excited at my easy acceptance of death. "But that doesn't mean he will."

The smile on Orochimaru's face died down at my comment and I drew my frying pan in preparation.

"Anybody could kill me. Anything could kill me. Anytime. Anywhere. But will I run scared? Should I scream or shake in terror like you are? No. Because if I did, there would be no point to my life." I turned my gaze back to Sasuke and glared at him. "If you want to run, fine. Run and cling to your so called 'life.' You're too weak as it is right now. So just run Sasuke. Run and don't look back, because that's all you're good for!"

The boy had started to tremble halfway through my small speech, obviously reminded of his elder brothers' remarks on the night that he left him. "S-shut up! You know nothing!"

"Alice…" Sakura looked at me with a form of fear in her eyes. "Stop it…"

But I couldn't. Sasuke _needed _to get angry. He got more powerful when he was angry, and more _reckless_. Something that needed to happen if I wanted him to attack Orochimaru.

"Don't you see Sakura-chan?" My mouth quirked up in a slightly crazed smile that was certain to frighten her more. "He needs to know he isn't immortal. That he isn't a top dog. Because there will always be people like Orochimaru-sama here to beat him down and break him when he gets too cocky. Isn't that right Orochimaru-sama?"

The eerie laugh hung in the air between us as Orochimaru threw his head back and let it out. "Oh my, if only I had someone like you in my ranks. What a delight it would be to set you on your own friends and comrades!" His head dropped back forward and he licked his lips in a hungry manner as he switched his gaze between Sasuke and I. "But unfortunately, an enigma like you shall have to be destroyed. I can't have such a person with no fear of death running around and ruining my plans."

My grip tightened on my frying pan as I raised an eyebrow. "Who's to say I'm going to ruin your plans? If they work to my advantage, I won't touch them. Is that quite alright with you?"

The answer I got was another kunai flung towards me, but slower than last time. So he was testing me?

I raised my frying pan and batted it away, the clanging noise ringing in my ears momentarily. "I do not wish to fight, but if I must, it will be on my life it seems."

I got no answer again as I ducked under a surprise swipe from a suddenly appearing Orochimaru from behind me. "A bunshin?"

My frying pan came up in a block that made it rattle from the force of a punch. "I can sense dōton in this, a dōton clone is it Orochimaru-sama?"

His laughter echoed around me as I blocked his punches with my frying pan, pushed to my limits by his outrageous speed. "A sensor nin? How long has it been since I've seen one come from Konoha? But wait, you're a foreigner, right? I wonder where the old man found you?"

Grunting in reply, I twisted to the side to dodge a forward kick that would've probably broke my ribs. Unfortunately, I didn't see the follow up punch that smashed into the back of my head and sent me flying.

Sharp pain wracked down my neck as my head made contact with a tree face first. My breath was pushed out as my body followed, bending my neck in an uncomfortable way as it did so.

"Alice!"

Ignoring the panicked yells of Sakura, I shakily stood up and gripped my frying pan better. "I will not go down so easily Orochimaru-sama. I don't wish to fight you and I know you have other objectives, so why do you continue?"

Hands grabbed my from behind and slammed me back into the tree, my neck cricking painfully as I did so. Orochimaru's face appeared next to mine as he slowly came out from the tree, the brown dripping away to reveal the woman's' pale skin.

"I just wish to play with my new toy. What is the rush little…Alice-chan wasn't it? My, what a strange name, it just rolls off the tongue in a way I could've never imagined."

My hands spasmed as the man tightened his elongated grip around my middle, effectively trapping my arms by my side. I was losing feeling in them quickly, a sure sign that he was cutting off the oxygen and blood flow to the limbs.

"Thanks," I managed to grunt out. "My mother chose it for me." I reared my head to the side and slammed it into his face that was conveniently facing me, a cracking noise coming from the contact of our skulls.

My head rung slightly but I shook it off with ease, it wasn't the first time I had head butted someone. It also seemed that Orochimaru had experience with the move as his arms hadn't loosened his grip and he was still smiling in amusement at my futile actions.

"That's a cute move. Did my beloved student teach you that? I can smell her lovely scent all over you."

Snarling in answer, I flashed my teeth at him and struggled to get closer so I could bite his smug face. "Don't you dare talk about her like that you bastard!"

_Calm yourself. You are letting your personal emotions get in the way of your objectives. Remember…_

I took a deep breath and calmed myself, Orochimaru's face showing mild curiosity at my sudden change in emotion.

"Remember…" I looked into Orochimaru's slitted eyes. "Kill all humanity."

_Excellent…_

Orochimaru blinked at my comment before laughing again. "What do we have here? A perfect little soldier. The old man doesn't normally let such teachings come into contact with his 'newest generation of the Will of Fire.' You are interesting Alice-chan, I'll give you that."

"I shall take it as I comment," I replied. "Now I believe I shall take my leave now, I really don't want to get injured anymore if I want to finish these exams."

A puff of smoke covered me and I found myself several metres from the clearing, but still able to see Orochimaru pinning me against a tree.

"What futile effort was that Alice-chan? What are you going to do?" I heard him chuckle. "You have nowhere to go."

"It seems like you are right Orochimaru-sama." My bunshin replied blankly. "I guess I shall just have to die here. That's unfortunate, I was hoping to go out in a bang."

Before Orochimaru could reply, there was a yell of rage and Sasuke exploded into the scene, whirling through handseals faster than I had ever seen him do.

"Take this you bastard! Move Alice!" The Uchiha breathed out a massive fireball, obviously unaware that Orochimaru had 'me' captive.

_The stupidity of the boy astounds me every time._

'Quite.' I watched carefully as the fireball consumed Orochimaru and my bunshin, Sasuke's horror struck face clearly showing that he had just realised what he had done.

'Now's my chance though, while Sasuke engages the real Orochimaru – rather than the dōton bunshin he just killed – I can move Naruto and Sakura away from here and into safety.'

_Good, we don't want the main person of the future and his companion to die before they can do the good they need to._

'If I knew any better,' I thought as I stealthily leapt through the trees towards where Sakura was guarding a still unconscious Naruto. 'I'd say you're affectionate of my little sis and bro.'

…_It's hard to not be somewhat fond of them after they proved Kami and fate wrong so many times in the future. It was a pleasure to see Kamis' face when the boy defeated Pein under such a dire and heavily outweighed situation._

'Are you fond of me then?'

I got no answer from the Death god.

Approaching stealthily from behind the trembling Sakura, I touched her shoulder carefully and covered her mouth so that she wouldn't scream. The girl whirled around with tears in her eyes, but the sadness quickly turned to surprise and shock when she saw me.

"Bunshin." I winked at her before picking up Naruto. "We have to go now Sakura-chan, we have the chance so we should take it and be happy."

"But Sasuke-kun…" Sakura looked over her shoulder to where Sasuke was battling Orochimaru furiously. "We can't just leav-"

"Shh…" I took my hand from her mouth and made another kage bunshin to take Naruto from my hands. "I have heaps of clones surrounding the area Sakura-chan. They will keep an eye on the situation and help out Sasuke wherever he needs it. Now, do you have any injuries?" I held one of the girls' arm carefully as she stood up with shaky legs.

"No." Sakura began to follow me and my bunshin as we leapt down from the tree branch we were on and down to the forest floor. "Both Sasuke-kun and I were confronted by…that person, and we were subjected to the strongest KI I had ever felt. I saw my own death when it happened, but I recognised the genjutsu that was hidden in it and I managed to dispel it and get myself moving in time to help Sasuke-kun up and get away. He had stabbed his leg in order to move though, so I had to heal that when we took a break."

"That break was cut short though when a snake attacked, so I pushed Sasuke-kun out of the way and followed him to the clearing. That person rose out of the snake and swallowed the scroll we needed. Sasuke-kun went to offer our scroll but Naruto burst in and punched Sasuke-kun. They argued before Naruto got angry and began to battle that person. I backed him up by using my shuriken and kunai, I also used that confusing genjutsu that Kakashi-sensei taught us last week to slow down the movements of that person."

I grinned reassuringly at the clearly shaken girl as we followed my clone through the roots of the giant trees. "That's my girl. Let me guess what happened next. Naruto went insane and battled the guy, getting himself knocked out in the process and you healed him after. How is Narutos' status?"

Sakura instantly replied with a sureness I had rarely seen in her. "He suffered a concussion and minor wounds. I healed his cuts and relived his torn ligaments before bringing the brain swelling down and numbing the area around it. He was exhausted so I gave him a boost both physical and chakra wise. He should wake up in around half a day."

I nodded at her report before halting as my bunshin slid to a stop in front of me.

"I have found the resting place mistress." The bunshin carefully placed Naruto down into the hollow of the tree that they had stayed in during the series. "Is there anything else you wish me for?"

"Yes." I guided Sakura into the hollow as well and sat her down, smiling in what I hoped to be a reassuring way when she looked at me shakily. "Continue to dispel yourself. The code is Celtic knot and mark one. Do you understand?"

The bunshin nodded before dispelling itself in a puff of smoke. I shifted through the memories it had, noting that it saw the fight between Orochimaru and I and had several opinions on my flaws of fighting style.

"What do we do now Alice?"

Looking down at the still shaking Sakura, I crouched down and patted her head soothingly. "Don't worry Sakura-chan. I have my clones looking out for Sasuke, he'll be fine. I'll send one of bunshin for water and to hunt for some food. I'll be right here beside you the whole time. Are you alright?"

The pink-haired girl nodded before shifting around to check on the comatose form of Naruto. "I'm fine Alice. I'll look after you and Naruto with my healing chakra. Is there anything you need me to heal?"

Smiling at her determination, I pointed out that my neck and head still hurt slightly. The girl eagerly jumped at the chance to further her healing skills and began to heal me right away.

I created a bunshin and watched it run off to find sustenance, before summoning another one to go and get Pakkun and Akemi.

"Stay with them out of sight, okay?" The bunshin nodded at my request and dashed off, intent on getting to the teammates of mine.

Leaning back as Sakura placed her hands on my shoulders, I noted that I didn't even relax one iota as Sakuras' magical healing chakra soothed my sore neck.

* * *

Alice-clone number fifty-five blinked as the memories of fifty came to her; 'The code is Celtic knot and mark two.'

The bunshin nodded to herself and stood up from her position on a tree branch above the fight Orochimaru and Sasuke were still going at. Her legs cricked painfully after crouching for so long, but she ignored that in favour of summoning another bunshin and quickly dispelling it. She would be the one to complete this part of the mission.

Dropping down from the trees, she made sure to make eye contact with forty-nine to see if she was ready to kawarimi her out like forty-six had done for mistress.

Forty-nine nodded back to fifty-five and crept along the branches, following fifty-fives' movements from a distance.

Fifty-five leapt down the last few branches, launching a flying kick at the exposed back of Orochimaru who was currently choking with a still enraged Sasuke. Her leg was caught and she was flung away towards a tree at high speeds. The bunshin braced itself as the strange sensation of kawarimi came over her and she found herself above the fight where forty-nine had been.

Meanwhile, forty-nine had gotten smashed into the tree, the puff of smoke alerting a distracted Sasuke to the situation.

'No way…It can't be!'

Fifty-five flipped off her branch and set herself up for a devastating dropkick that was going to connect with the Sannins' head before he let go off Sasuke and leapt back. Fifty-five felt the odd sensation come over her as she was substituted for another bunshin, fifty-two it seemed.

Orochimaru looked around the clearing for the nuisance of a girl that had seemingly come back from the dead.

'Those blasted kage bunshin. Curse Nindaime for creating such a jutsu.'

The Snake Sannin kept an eye out for what the girl would do next, aware that she was to the south of his current position and seemingly waiting for something.

"Where are you little Alice-chan?" Orochmaru called out in a taunting voice. "Doesn't the little birdy want to play?"

"Wh-what?" Sasuke looked around wildly for the girl he believed to have killed. "Alice? She's alive?!"

"So it seems Sasuke-kun." Orochimaru licked his lips as he turned his gaze to the boy. "I should've made extra sure to kill the useless brat. Maybe I should squeeze every last breath from her and let her die in front of you? Hmmm?"

Sasuke felt his activated sharingan twinge once more as he glared at the disgusting specimen of a human being in front of him. "The hell you will you bastard!"

Orochimaru went to reply, but found an odd sensation coming over him. A puff of smoke disappeared around him and he found himself around a kilometre away from the clearing and from Sasuke.

"Interesting." He licked his lips once more as he turned to face the direction of the clearing. "Such a conventional way to use the kawarimi. I believe I might have a game on my hands."

* * *

Sasuke's eyes widened as he took in the appearance of his roommate that had appeared from the smoke. "A-alice?!"

"Not quite." The Alice-look-alike stared at him with blank eyes. "I am number fifty-five and mistress sent me here to make sure of your wellbeing among other things. Tell me Sasuke," the bunshin leaned forward to peer at his eyes. "How many tomotoes – or whatever they're called – do you have in your eyes? I think it's two in each now."

The shocked expression twisted into one of somewhat amusement. "Only you would say something like that in a situation like this."

"Mn." The bunshin continued to look closely at his eyes. 'Celtic knot is cleared. Mistress will be pleased that at least half of the operation has been completed. Though I believe the next part will be done quite easily.'

Sasuke went to open his mouth, but found himself interrupted by a loud piercing yell from behind.

"I have you now Sasuke-kun!"

The Uchiha could only stare into the Alice-look-alikes' dead green eyes as a pain overcame his senses. He clutched his neck, the origin of the pain, and fell forward onto his knees. His hearing and sight began to waver as the pain came too much. All he could hear was maniacal laughter and loud screams. All he could see was green eyes before he fell forward and into unconsciousness.

* * *

Orochimaru let a massive grin cover his face as he looked down at the trembling form of Sasuke that lay at his feet. "I've got you in my clutches Sasuke-kun." He looked up at the obvious creation of kage bunshin that stood in front of him. "Are you not going to cry or wail for your friend? I've marked him now and he's sure to come to me for power. He's an avenger and you have already lost him. What do you say to that Alice-chan?!"

The bunshin merely blinked calmly at him before replying. "Mark one complete. Objective completed. Beginning transition now."

Orochimaru could only watch as Sasuke was replaced by a grinning Alice. "What is this?!"

The grinning bunshin held up a peace sign at the Sannin. "Surprise mother fucker. You may not have gotten logged, but you just got trolled big time. What do you have to say to that snake fucker?"

The Sannin let out a scream of rage before stabbing the infernal bunshin with a quickly unsheathed kunai. "You bitch!"

"Yes, I'm quite sorry about that." Fifty-five calmly commented as she watched the demise of thirty-nine. "We occasionally have an odd one like that, mistress always laughs at them, but I find them rather off."

"Oh?" Orochimaru reigned in his temper with a great amount of effort. "So your kage bunshin are defected? And in such an odd way too…"

"Quite." The bunshin continued to stand there with a blank expression on her face. "You do realise that you have no reason to stay here anymore. I can sense high chakra level personals coming towards here and you have no need for Sasuke. I suggest you move on Orochimaru-sama, mistress doesn't wish for the fun to end now."

The yellow eyes of the Sannin disappeared as he closed his eyes in mock mirth. "Alice-chan, Alice-chan…Where does the old man find someone like you? You seem to have no care for your friends. I know you could sense me coming, so why didn't you do anything to stop my attack on Sasuke-kun? You could've done something there to save him."

Fifty-five merely shrugged, "it was necessary." That was all she had to offer to the subject, so she stood there and waited for the Sannins' reply.

"My, my…" Orochimaru began to flip through handseals at almost lazy pace. "It seems like the fun is only just starting, isn't it Alice-chan? Ah well, I'll bring you some more fun very soon my dear." His yellow eyes glowed ominously as he began to turn into earth and sink into the tree branch they were standing on. "I bid you goodbye Alice-chan. I hope we meet soon."

"Goodbye Orochimaru-sama."

* * *

I started as a whole bunch of bunshins' memories assaulted me. It seemed that they were commencing my plan to get Sasuke to me in the quickest manner. I had never been gladder in my life to know the kawarimi. It had been a life saver today.

Literally.

Lazily making two kage bunshin and instantly dispelling one to make sure the other bunshin knew of my position, I waited a while until the bunshin suddenly disappeared and a groaning Sasuke replaced her.

"Well…" I looked over to a dozing Sakura who lay protectively over a still sleeping Naruto. "I have no better chance to look at this thing either than right now."

Picking up the strangely light boy, I held his shaking body to me and ignored his pitiful cries. Taking a few steps and planting myself down on a felled tree, I held Sasuke's head in my lap as I studied the famed curse mark.

It was so innocent looking, like a tattoo that Sasuke hadn't told us about. Two bite marks were positioned next to it, oozing a small amount of blood.

"Troublesome." I grumbled one of my favourite comments as I realised I had no way to seal the accursed…curse mark.

The Sandaime had been kind enough to lend me some beginners' scrolls on fuinjutsu after I kept moaning to him about Kakashi not letting me practise. I had been lucky enough to create my own version of storage seals after studying the components of one for a week or two. The balancing seals had been substituted for a ying and yang sign that twisted into a vortex in the centre. It was meant to mean balanced space as black holes were a form of space that never ended. Of course, my storage scrolls had a limit but they were still rather good.

The problem I was facing now was the fact that I wasn't sure how to do that stupid evil repelling seal that Kakashi uses on Sasuke. True, I had looked over the seal, but there were more components that I was used to, so that made it tricky to try and tie them together. Hopefully I would be able to create something soon, although it was extremely unlikely I would be able to place it on Sasuke as it was untested and Anko wouldn't let me go anywhere near her with seals after one of my failed attempts at storage seals had set on of her good trench coats on fire.

That was the night I had mastered a basic use of kawarimi. Oh man, painful memories.

Sighing despondently, I picked Sasuke up and carried him over to the hollow. Bending down and placing him next to Sakura on the leaf litter that lined the bottom of the hollow, I unsealed my scroll of medical supplies and bandaged his neck and other superficial wounds in an efficient manner.

Again, I was glad of my training. Sakura had shown me how to dress wounds after I asked her. That then kind of degraded into a lesson on how to plait hair since I sucked, but I still picked up a lot.

Gazing fondly at the sleeping forms of Team Seven, I watched as Sakura unknowingly snuggled further into Narutos' chest, her hand finding its way to one of Sasukes' spasming ones. I let out a huff of air when I realised how young they still looked. So different from the angsty and grown up forms of them in four years' time.

'Am I doing the right thing?'

_Of course you are. You are achieving a better future for everyone. How is that not the right thing?_

'No, what I mean is, am I doing the right thing _right now_. I can't help but think, what if I didn't let Sasuke get bitten by Orochimaru? What if I saved him? Then Naruto and Sakura wouldn't have to suffer after he leaves the village. It would resolve so much if I let him stay untainted by Orochimaru!'

_That _could _happen, but are you sure? With this situation, you know what happens, you can plan for the end results because you already know what happens. _

My eyes widened as I stared down at a trembling Sasuke. 'You're right…'

_Of course. Sasuke might just leave the village later on, even if he doesn't have the curse mark. Or Orochimaru might attack the village again later on in order to give Sasuke the curse mark. You don't know. And you know…"_

"Knowledge is power," I murmured as I pushed Sasukes' bangs back in order to feel his feverish forehead. "Knowing is safe."

_Yes. Sakura and Naruto _need _Sasuke to leave so that they may be pushed into becoming the strong people they are later on. And since you have pushed Kakashi into training them better, they shall be stronger than ever and I shall not need to take so many souls like last time around._

Carefully drenching a scrap piece of cloth with water that one of my bunshin got, I placed it on Sasukes' forehead before doing the same for Naruto. 'Is this just a repeat of this world?

…_What do you mean?_

'I mean, have you rewound the clock and placed me into the beginning? Or have you diverted this universe into an alternate one, leaving the original to get destroyed as you fix this one?

_Quite perceptive aren't you? I have done the first one. Rewinding a world is rather hard and taxing on even a being of immense power like me. I'm just glad that it was only a few years rather than decades._

'But then…' I unsealed a blanket and placed it around Sakuras' body, making sure to not wake the girl. 'Doesn't that mean you could've gone further back in time, to a point before Naruto lived? Even further back than Obtio. Couldn't you have rid the world of Uchiha Madara?'

_I could've…but going that far back in time would've torn whatever vessel I had to pieces in the time stream. You would've never survived even a month more back in time from where I inserted you. I was surprised that you survived the trip here._

'Thanks.' My eyes drooped at the fact that I could've been dead right now. 'Is it worrying that death doesn't scare me like it used to?'

_Slightly. I have given you back the fear of death that was absent during your confrontation with Orochimaru, but still, I can sense that aren't as worried or fearful as before._

'The idea doesn't cause chills to go up my spine.' I sat down just outside the hollow and surveyed the surroundings around me. 'It's like, I've made peace with the idea, since I've made peace with you.'

_You believe to have made peace with me?_

'Well, you didn't answer my question earlier on, so I'm going to take that as an unspoken yes. Yes, you are fond of me.'

…

'See?'

* * *

**Rather tempted to leave it there, but I want this chapter to be my biggest yet. You can praise me at the **_**real **_**end of this chapter. **

**Worship me!**

* * *

**3****rd**** Person P.O.V.**

Dosu rolled his eyes at his teammate's louder-than-necessary chatter. "Enough you two. We are here to kill Sasuke. Not to bicker like a bunch of little girls."

"What's twisted your bandages?" Kin remarked as she stepped away from Zaku and followed her elder companion. "Don't tell me, it's your time, isn't it?"

"Shut your mouth Kin, if you know what's good for you."

Zaku made faces at his female teammate after Dosus' comment, but quickly stopped when she slugged him in the arm. "Ow you bitch!"

"I said shut it you two." Dosu turned to glare at the two, raising his KI in order to scare them into submission. "I can hear Sasuke breathing up ahead, I can also hear two other people breathing right near him."

"Must be those kiddies he calls his teammates." Zaku grinned at the thought of beating the other two kids in front of their objective. "What do you say we have some fun with them in front of Sasuke? Show him the power of Orochimaru-sama."

Kin smirked and flicked him on the head as she passed him. "I think that's one of the only good ideas you've had in your life. Do you feel proud Zaku?"

The Oto-nin went to reply angrily to the girl, but stopped when Dosu raised a hand in front of him, motioning them to stop.

"They're right there, under the tree. Do you see them?"

Zaku and Kin crouched beside their teammate and peered through a scrub of bushes in order to look at the scene Dosu could see. The vague shape of three children could be seen lying down in the darkness of the hollow. The feminine shape seemed to be shifting around though, perhaps attending to the unconscious forms lying either side of her.

"Oh yeah…" Zaku rubbed his hands in preparation. "Let's go 'n' get 'em."

"I'm right behind you there Zaku." Kin flicked out a kunai from her ninja pouch and toyed with the pointed end. "I dibs the little girl though, it makes me angry to see such a pathetic wisp declaring that _she's _a kunoichi. Honestly, it makes me feel ill."

"We can attack once we've woken Sasuke up." Dosus' lone eye studied the scene intently. "So what do you say? Shall we go and wake up the kids?"

"Hell yeah." Zaku stood up and flanked Dosu, Kin on the elder boys other side. "Let's do this shit and pass these fucking exams."

* * *

Alice nearly laughed at the snarky comments Oto-nins shot at each other. Honestly, it was so refreshing to hear the good and snide comebacks of older kids, rather than the pathetic yelling that twelve-year olds did in Konoha.

She didn't dare swing the feet that hung in the air below her, she didn't want Dosu to hear any movements of hers or else her observing tactic would fail.

As it was, her breathing was almost non-existent since it was so quiet. Shingami had also quickened her vitals in order to replicate those of a bird, so that Dosu may not hear her heartbeat and know that a human was watching them.

'Kookaburra sits in the old gum tree, merry, merry th-'

_Stop your infernal singing. It's getting on my nerves._

'Sorry Shingami-sama. I just sing stuff in my head when I get nervous.

_I know, you were singing stayin' alive when you first faced Orochimaru. You may not have realised it, but I certainly heard it._

'Eh he he…sorry?'

_Just shut up and pay attention to what's happening. It's important you know?_

'I know, I know.'

Barely moving her body weight, Alice craned her neck in order to look at the events that were unfolding below her. Sakura had clearly sensed the Oto-nins presence and was currently standing off with them, determination marking her petite features.

'I know Sakura-chan will do well, I believe in her!'

_You can say whatever it is you want to say, but know that the events in the end will determine your verdict._

'Mn.'

* * *

Sakura held a kunai at ready as the three Oto-nin formed a semicircle around her. "What do you want?!"

The male with the fluffy black hair leaned forward with a leer. "We want you to wake up Sasuke little girl. We want to fight him!"

Sakura frowned to herself at this. "Why the hell do you want to fight Sasuke-kun?! What will you get out of such a confrontation?!"

"Quizzical little thing isn't she?" Kin fiddled with the kunai, slender fingers stroking it in an almost loving fashion. "Let me cut out her questioning tongue, it'll be _so _much easier to deal with this when she can't talk."

"Enough Kin." Dosu halted the girls' advancement with just two words. "The girl needs her tongue in order to wake up Sasuke." He glared at Sakura with baleful eyes. "So hurry up and do it you stupid girl. You don't want to see me angry."

Zaku shook his head with a smile. "No you don't. Let me tell you know little girl, your entrails will be the curtains to your little hidey-hole if you don't wake up Sasuke."

"Wake up Sasuke. We want you to wake up Sasuke! Just wake him up already!" Sakura parroted the Oto-nin before dropping her taunting expression into a smirk that was reminiscent of said teammate. "Don't you say anything else? You guys seem kind of stupid to me."

Both Kin and Zaku growled in their throats.

"Can we just deal with this bitch already Dosu?" Kin leant forward, the kunai stowed away, only to be replaced with a handful of senbon that poked through each of the gaps between her fingers. "I'm itching to kill her."

Dosu paused for a moment before nodding. "Alright, kill her."

* * *

Alice cocked her head from her perch above. 'And so the games begin.'

_And so the games begin._

* * *

**Uh, kill me now! That was a rather disappointing chapter in my opinion. I found I had a lot of trouble with the dialogue between Orochimaru and Alice. I mean, how the hell do you right a psycho mans' reply to an insufferable OC?!**

**Why is this so hard?!**

**But here, I'll answer some questions you might have.**

_**How did Alice not get totally axed by Orochimaru?**_

**Easy, he was a cocky little thing who thought nothing of her and just wanted to play with his new toy. Ergo, he batted her around rather than just killing her 'cause, we all know that's what he does!**

_**How did Alice escape Orochimaru?**_

**Well a clever idea of spamming the forest with kage bunshin and having them kawarimi with her when she's in danger of dying. That what bunshin number fifty-five did when she went to complete the mission.**

_**What's up with Celtic knot and mark one? What the fuck is that?**_

**Celtic knot is a swirling cluster of three, sometimes in spirals and other times in angular loops. This stood for Alice trying to level up Sasukes' sharingan in preparation for surviving the events in this chapter and ones later on. Mark one just stands for Sasuke getting the curse mark. Pretty simple right?**

_**If Sasuke thought he killed Alice, why didn't he get the Mangekyō sharingan?**_

**I thought of this after I wrote that part and realised that I might have to cut it out. Then I realised that Alice isn't Sasukes' best friend, Naruto still is. Sasuke saw Kakashi get killed in front of him, and although he's a precious person, he didn't even get Mangekyō, let alone develop the sharingan.**

_**How did Sasuke suddenly appear in front of Alice after he got the curse mark?**_

**A series of kawarimis with Alice bunshin made a chain of reactions that eventually led to the original Alice. Cool idea isn't it?**

_**Where's Pakkun and Akemi-chan?!**_

**They'll be back, just you wait.**

_**What or who is fifty-five?**_

**Fifty-five is one of Alices' lovely defected kage bunshin. I decided to give some of them numbers and/or names for when they appear so as to not get you confused. All of her bunshin are pretty screwed up as you saw when that Alice kawarimied with Sasuke and was rather rude to Orochimaru, especially compared to the original and fifty-five. The bunshin aren't going to be a one-off thing as well, I'm sure we'll see fifty-five again, just like we'll see the insane kage bunshin again.**

**I hope I answered some questions, but if not, just PM me. I'm happy to answer any questions!**

**Next time: Cherry Blossom blooms!**


	20. Act 3 Part 4: Cherry Blossom blooms!

**Dear readers, I hope we may be able to hit the 100 reviews mark by the end of this chapter. Number 20 chapter should go with a bang! Especially since it'll be the last one in a while. School is a bitch isn't it?**

**So yeah, hope you enjoy.**

* * *

**Disclaimer: **_Baby, I don't own this any more than I own a real set of kunai. (Something I desperately want)._

**Warning: **_Language, fighting and maybe the end of Grey!Alice? Still Manipulative!Alice though.._

* * *

**3****rd**** Person P.O.V.**

Sakura initiated the battle, flinging the kunai she held to her right, completely missing the Oto-nin that were directly in front of her.

Zaku sneered as he stepped forward. "Was that supposed to do some-"

The three Oto-nin suddenly had their legs cut out from under them and went sprawling back from the whiplash. Blood trickled from a devastatingly even line that appeared on the back of their legs.

"What the fuck?!" Kin let out a low hiss as she touched the tender wound. "What the hell was that?!"

A smug look on her face, Sakura cocked her hip and placed her hands on them. "Did you really think I would leave this place completely open to attack? I'm the smartest kunoichi of my age, don't insult me. And with Alice gone to find her teammates," Sakura lowered her sense of gravity and flicked out right fist in a ready stance. "I guess I'm taking it upon myself to show you bastards what shinobi of Konoha are capable of."

"Tch, don't make me laugh." Kin quickly stood up, joined by her two teammates. "A little trick with some ninja wire is nothing, little girl. So either wake up Sasuke, or face the heat of Oto's wrath."

"Ooooh~" Sakura rolled her eyes and spoke in a sing-song voice. "I'm _so _scared."

Kin let out a growl and rushed Sakura, senbon raised in her hands once more. "I'll fucking show you!" The brunette flicked out the senbon with an accuracy unknown, barely missing Sakura as she twisted and turned to dodge.

Not leaving Sakura any room to recover, Kin lashed her fist out, intent on finishing the battle as quickly as possible.

She was surprised when her fist was caught with a resounding slap by a peeved Sakura.

"Don't mock me," Sakura growled. "I'm not just known as the smartest kunoichi of my age, I'm also known as the kunoichi with the strongest fists." And to emphasise her point, Sakura twisted Kin's arm around and effectively turned Kin herself into the jaw-shattering hook that slammed into the girls' cheek.

The odd crunch of Kin's face was lost in the thump and drag of her body as she hit the ground with a bounce and tumbled back to the feet of her teammates.

Zaku and Dosu stared at the quivering girl at their feet before slowly looking up at the pink-haired girl that looked upon them with a smirk. "I told you not to mock me. Now," Sakura raised her right fist up again and curled it in a beckoning gesture. "Come at me with the 'wrath of Oto,' scum."

* * *

A grin appeared on Alice's face as she watched the fight unfold below. 'Sakura is finally letting out Inner-chan. I love it when that happens! The spars always get more interesting when she…does she merge with Inner-chan or something?'

_In a way. I don't know what goes on exactly in that girls' head, but I know that she has somehow, more or less, accepted the secondary persona in her mind. Her…Inner as you say, is a fragment of Multiple Personality Disorder, and those who have the disorder can either fight with the other fragments or accept them. Sakura simply ignored hers and a lot of her moral strength was in her Inner, thus, weakening her mind and making her lack self-confidence as a result. Since you've basically shaken her beliefs, she's probably found herself accepting the ideas of Inner and letting her come out more. People can get over their MPD by merging with their personalities, often becoming stronger because of it._

'Thanks Shingami-sama, I appreciate the whole lecture thing even though I was just asking a yes or no question. I really appreciate your effort.'

_I hate being sealed into you sometimes…_

* * *

Zaku's head lurched back at an unnatural angle from a spinning kick curtesy of Sakura. Dropping onto the ground from her leap, Sakura spun on her heel and swept his legs out from underneath him, grinning to herself when he landed with a thud.

Standing up and continuing to grin to herself, she clenched her fists in excitement. 'Look at me! Sakura of the start of this year wouldn't be able to even dream about doing this!'

'**SHANNARO! LET'S KICK THEIR ASS!'**

'YEAH!'

Unfortunately for Sakura, her brief trail of thought and the cockiness she was feeling due to defeating her enemies left her wide open for an attack. Something that Dosu was _very happy to do for her._

"Don't count us about, girl."

A pressure built in Sakura's ears and she let out a shriek of pain as the pressure made her head ring and disabled her hearing. Vaguely feeling the dull pain of her knees hitting the ground, Sakura clutched her ears and let out a low moan that she couldn't hear. Raising her shaking hands out in front of her, her jade eyes widened at the sight of red that met her.

"W-what the…"

"Do you like my Melody Arm?" Dosu said as he walked up behind the unsuspecting girl. "Oh wait, you can't hear me, can you?" Ignoring the sounds of dry heaving coming from Sakura's mouth, Dosu calmly took out a kunai and raised it above his head. "It seems almost impolite to kill a woman, especially a little girl like this."

"You and your courteousness, Dosu," Kin scoffed. "I'll kill the bitch if you pussy out."

"I won't be needing your assistance for this, Kin," Dosu calmly replied before swinging his kunai down in a killing blow to Sakura's head. There was a pause as a trickle of blood came from where the kunai had cracked the back of Sakura's head like an egg.

"Sakura!"

The entire Oto team turned at the wail that came from the bushes. A platinum blonde girl was standing up in the bushes, staring at her friends' body with horror. "Get up pig!"

"Oops." Kin smirked at the girls' heartbroken look and slowly trudged over to pick up Sakura's limp body. "Was this a friend of yours?" She shook the lolling head mockingly before giving a shout of surprise as a cloud of smoke came from the body.

Dosu's eyes widened as he heard a familiar hissing sound. "Kin! Move!" Both he and Zaku dove out of the way, but could do nothing to help the still shocked Kin as the exploding tag covered log she held in her hands detonated.

Over by the bushes, Ino shrieked as Shikamaru dragged her down into the bushes, narrowly avoiding the blast that washed over just after. "Sakura! She's still out there!"

"Shut up Ino," hissed Shikamaru as he held the struggling girl. "Didn't you see she did handseals and kawarimied herself before that bandaged guy stabbed her? She replaced herself with an explosive log she had obviously already had prepared earlier. I bet she has this whole place booby-trapped."

Taking a gulp of air, Ino looked over to her teammate and nodded shakily at his words. "S-so, she's alright?"

"Watch guys." Chōji leaned forward, chips forgotten as he peered through the foliage in order to see into the clearing. "I can see people moving."

Indeed, there was movement in the leftover smoke that the explosion had caused. Dark shadows began to move, and then the smoke slowly began to clear, to reveal Zaku being held at kunai point by a shaking and badly burnt Sakura.

"How about that?" Sakura let out a hiss of pained breath at the burns she still managed to collect, even though she had tried to get as far away from the blast as possible. "Do you still think little of me?" She watched with sick amusement as the male she currently had in a headlock and held at kunai point babbled something she couldn't hear with her damaged ears. "Oh right, I can't hear whatever crap you're probably sprouting. Sorry to ruin your fun, but I'm not dying until me and my teammates pass this damn exam."

Zaku visibly gulped as the kunai crept worryingly near his jugular vein. "Dosu?"

There was some scuffling from his right – just outside of his peripheral vision – before an answer came. "I'm here, Zaku. But Kin's pretty badly burnt. I'm moving her out of the way so she doesn't hinder us; can you get out of there?"

A wicked grin crossed Zaku's face as he clenched his modified hands. "Forget about that bitch. I'll be out of here easily, hm!"

The kunai in Sakura's hands drew closer to Zaku's jugular and she mentally prepared herself for the guilt she would feel from the life she was about to take. Before she could do the deed, the earth beneath her suddenly boiled and broke from the air pressure that Zaku's Zakkuha was forcing through it.

"Time to return the favours, hm!" Zaku twisted free of Sakura's loosened grip and slammed a punch right into her face before following up with a combo of punches that spread their damage across the girls' body. The girl went flying back, losing her kunai as she went, and tumbled in a roll across the dirt ground.

"The bitch is down Dosu," Zaku stood up and glanced over to his male teammate who had just finished placing Kin on a low-hanging branch. "I say we finish her now and just go for Sasuke. Kill him right away."

Dosu kept a watchful eye on a struggling Sakura as he walked over to stand by his teammate. "I agree that would be the wisest course of action."

The pink-haired girl a few metres away from him struggled to breathe through her busted lip, blood spraying as she rattled a breath out. Her arms shook as she pushed herself up, vertigo taking her senses over as her ears once again protested to the lack of gravity they felt.

'Damn it Sakura. Just get up!'

Her biceps bulged as she pushed herself up the last bit to her hands and knees. Her breath coming faster at the movement.

'You said you wouldn't be weak anymore. That you would stand strong _beside _your teammates. Beside Sasuke and Naruto. You said you would make Alice and Kakashi-sensei proud, proud of yourself for taking their advice on. Proud of yourself.'

She couldn't tell if it was blood or tears anymore that were staining the dirt ground underneath her face. Something formed in the corner of her eye, warmer than her skin. It dripped and rolled down her face before making another soft circle that she could only stare at

'**What are you doing?! You said you would be stronger, **_**so**__**be stronger you idiot! **_**There's no time to whine and cry about fate, just suck it up and fucking do it!'**

A choked laugh came out of her mouth as Sakura took heart in her Inner's words and stood up. Wobbly, shakily, but upright.

'You're right Inner.'

'**Damn straight I'm right. Now let's do this!'**

"I…told you…not to mock me." Sakura lifted her gaze to bore it into the dark eyes of her current enemies. "Now…fight me…with everything…that you have!"

It was truly an intimidating sight to see the seemingly cocky girl beaten to the ground, and then stand up straight after. Her lips were twisted in a bloody mess that trickled down her chin and her long braid had been pulled out of her tumble to sway, tangled, in a breeze. Blood seeped sluggishly from her ears, staining the pink hair a dull red in places and streaking down her pale arms. The one thing that struck accord to the people gathered was the trail of tears that could be tracked up to fierce chips of jade.

"That's Sakura…?" Breathed Ino as she stared at her rival and once friend. "I've never seen this side of her."

Chōji shifted to her left, "she looks mad. I wonder if she's alright though. Those Oto-nin got some god hits in before, and she looks disorientated from whatever that bandage guy did. Her ears are still bleeding."

Brow creasing in unusual worry, Shikamaru turned to his female teammate. "Ino, it's your decision. Are we going to go out and help her, or stay here?"

The blonde nibbled her lip in indecision as she watched unblinkingly at her childhood friend stare off with the enemy nin. "I…"

Sakura didn't wait for her friend to make a decision, she pushed herself into a sluggish run, arms raised to defend or attack. She entered the next round with a powerful but slow punch that sailed over Dosu's head. The bandaged nin quickly lifted his armoured right arm in an uppercut from his crouching position, slamming it into Sakura's unprotected solar plexis.

"Gah!" Spittle escaped Sakura's lips, but she quickly bit down on the bloody objects and curved her spine with the punch, flipping over the shoulder of her opponent and jabbing her elbow back to crack into his head.

Thinking only of ending the fight, and not of his teammate, Zaku aimed his left palm at both Sakura and Dosu, firing off a blast of air that launched the two back through the air before they hit a tree behind them.

"Damn it Zaku, look where you're firing that thing." Dosu shook his head and stood up, kicking a significantly more disorientated Sakura into the space between him and his teammate. "As a retribution, I get to dispose of this girl."

Zaku grumbled before nodding at his teammate, stepping back to let him finish Sakura off. "Just hurry up and kill her so I can kill Sasuke already."

* * *

A now anxious Alice chewed her lip as she watched the fight continue from her perch up in the trees next to Kin. She had deemed the hypersensitive Dosu to be distracted fighting Sakura, and had quickly kidnapped his female teammate in order to treat her injuries lightly. It's always beneficial to get on people's good sides. Especially the Oto-nins.

_You said the bunshin you sent to slow down that Lee boy had dispelled, where is he?_

'Fuck, I don't know!' Alice was getting more panicky as Sakura was being brutally kicked by Dosu and Ino was still standing by, doing nothing to help her. 'I thought it would be best to keep him away so that Sakura may be able to fight to her full potential. Then I thought if the situation got too bad, Ino would lead in the back up to save her.'

A sharp pain in her head made her clutch her skull. 'Ah!'

_You insolent whelp. _Shingami's voice came in an angry snarl that she had yet to hear from the entity. _You plan, not assume. You'll screw everything up at this rate._

Alice bit her lip until it bled, scanning the clearing with desperation. 'I guess I'll have to go save her!'

Just as she leapt off her branch with a lightly bandaged and unconscious Kin, she felt a spike in both chakra and KI nearby.

'This can only mean!'

Landing right by Dosu and Zaku, she flashed the two surprised males a grin as she lightly placed Kin down in front of her. "I thought you might like this beautifully fixed teammate!" She watched as both Zaku and Dosu relaxed minutely, they thought she was on their side. How cute.

Her grinning lips suddenly twisted into a devious smirk. "For a price though…"

A scoff came from Zaku as he glared down at the unconscious Kin. "And what makes you say we want this useless bitch? If she can't fulfil this mission, she doesn't deserve to serve under Orochimaru-sama!"

"Oh?" Alice cocked her hip confidently. "So you _do _work for Orochimaru-sama. Then you might want to know of some facts that he mustn't have passed onto you guys." She jabbed her thumb towards the hollow that Naruto and a now steadily steaming Sasuke was. "Sasuke-kun there, he has been marked by your leaders beloved Heaven seal. I bet he didn't tell you that."

A wrench hit both Dosu's and Zaku's gut as they realised what the girl had just said. Their master had let them – ordered them – to go after a potentially extremely dangerous, _curse marked _nin? Did he not value their lives?

"And the girl you're kicking around like a discarded can?" Alice raised an eyebrow at them haughtily. "She's part of Sasuke-kun's genin team, as you may have guessed, and all three of them have been allowed to live after meeting Orochimaru-sama. Heck," Alice spread her arms wide. "I have been allowed to live! So boys, I suggest you take your teammate and leave," her emerald eyes narrowed threateningly at them. "Before things get out of hand."

Over in the bushes, Shikamaru's mind raced as he pulled together a rough sketch of what had happened to Team Seven in the exams so far.

'Orochimaru – _why did Alice call him sama? _– had obviously made his way into the exams and had met Team Seven, letting them live. The only reason why Orochimaru could possibly go after Team Seven was to go after the only thing of apparent worth on that selected team. _Sasuke's sharingan._ And judging by the funky purple smoke that was coming off Sasuke, Orochimaru had…_marked Sasuke _with this – so called – _curse mark_. This was one puzzle that was starting to hurt his head. _And where did Alice fit into this?_'

On the other hand, Ino was rushing through a torrent of thoughts, majority of them not as important as Shikamaru's deducing.

'Who exactly is this chick? She came in acting like she owns the place with that damn smirk of hers. And she dares to call Sasuke-kun, Sasuke-kun?! He's mine damn it! What is she even doing? Smirking and putting out a hip won't help save Sakura!'

Sensing the slightly agitated chakra coming from the nearby bushes, the quickly growing source in front, and the group of three that were coming their way, Alice would say; that yes, her plan had too many variables and that she _really didn't give a fuck anymore._

"Why should we listen to you, hm?" Zaku stepped forward in a threatening manner, trying to scare Alice off. "I say we just kill Kin, this pink-haired brat and Sasuke. Who cares if he's got the curse mark?"

"You should listen to me for several reasons." Alice tapped a sandaled foot onto Kin's body. "You should keep Kin alive because if you want to continue to the next stage of this exams, you'll need her to be _alive_."

Dosu made an affirmative noise and motioned Alice to continue, which she complied.

"You _need _to keep Sakura alive because if you don't, a very pissed girl called Alice will rip your throat out, and a murderous Sasuke will be right beside her to help."

A faint smile appeared on Sakura's hidden face as she pretended to be unconscious in order to not gain attention. 'Alice always knows what to say…'

Zaku didn't seem deterred by Alice's attempt at reasoning. "And what makes you say that _you _could kill me and Dosu, let alone _Sasuke _who is _unconscious_."

A wicked grin on Alice's face made Zaku begin to think over his accusations. "I'd advise you to think over that last comment, because, let me tell you now," Alice let out a small laugh as she stared over Zaku's shoulder. "Sasuke-chan is a grumpy waker."

Slowly, everyone's attention in the clearing turned to the hidden figure of Sasuke as he rose in ribbons of purple flames.

'T-this chakra!' Ino shivered at the feeling of death she got from it. 'It's so…impure.'

Dropping his bag of chips, Chōji valiantly ignored the urge to run. 'What is this…?'

All that was running through Shikamaru's mind was an anxious chant of; '_Troublesome. Troublesome._ _Troublesome. This is very bad!_'

Both Zaku and Dozu gulped at the familiar feeling of the curse mark that swept across them, and clenched their hands in order to stand still and not drop trembling to the ground.

Sakura's chakra sensing was heightened by her medical and mild genjutsu training, thus, she could sense the vast amounts of chakra and KI that was pouring off Sasuke. 'S-sasuke? How can that be Sasuke?'

Meanwhile, a grin bloomed across Alice's face as she revelled in taste of Sasuke's different chakra. 'Amazing! The taste of this chakra is so different from anything else I've felt yet! The mere presence is making my legs tremble and my urge to flee is massive. If I can harness the ability of KI…'

The group's attention was fixated on the Uchiha when his eyelids slowly slid open to reveal blood-red eyes that had two tomoe in each. The piercing sharingan eyes slid over to the fallen and beaten form of Sakura that was staring at Sasuke. The curse mark trembled and crept across in jagged lines to cover half of his face.

"Sakura."

The girl flinched at the cold voice that came from Sasuke's mouth. 'This isn't Sasuke!'

"Who did this to you?"

The fear in Zaku made him anxious to do something, so foolishly, he stepped forward with a (hopefully) confident grin and thumbed at himself. "I did. What are you going to do about it?"

A black eyebrow was raised before Sasuke disappeared in a blur.

"Wha-!" Was all Zaku managed to get out before he felt himself be punched to the ground and his arms pulled back into a lock. His eyes widened in terror as a foot thumped solidly into his back and put pressure onto him, pushing his torso forward even as his arms were wrenched back.

"Please! S-stop!"

Sasuke let a feral smile mingle with his curse mark as he tugged tauntingly on the insect's arms. 'This power! It feels…amazing. It's giving me so much strength, like I could…_like I could kill __**him.**_'

The young Uchiha began to increase the gravity behind his leg and pulled the insect's arms back even further. He could _feel _the bones shuddering and protesting at his actions.

"Please stop." Zaku's voice came in a shuttering sob of air that rung throughout the silent clearing. "I'll do anything…"

"Yes!" Dosu's eyes were wide as he locked gaze with Sasuke's. "We'll give you our scroll, only if you let us go free." He waited with bated breath as Sasuke seemed to think over it.

"Hmmm…" Sasuke's thoughtful look changed to a feral one once more. "No."

Two screams rendered the air as Sasuke pulled one of Zaku's arms back far enough to earn a sickening snap.

Zaku continued to wail in pain as Sakura's mouth clamped shut in terror at would she had seen. 'It's not Sasuke! It's not! I have to snap him out of it!' Arms pushing down to lift her up, Sakura found herself too slow as Sasuke leaned back to snap Zaku's other arm. 'No! Hurry up you stupid body!'

There was a stillness in everyone as Sasuke began to pop Zaku's shoulder out of place.

Sasuke grinned in victory as the arm in his hands vibrated with the strain. 'This power!' He gnashed his teeth in expectation of the snap.

There was warmth on his chest.

The Uchiha froze in his act and slowly looked down to see a tanned hand placed over his heart. 'What…?'

He looked up into emerald eyes. "What…?"

His pink-haired teammate could only watch as Alice appeared in a blur in front of Sasuke, raising an arm slowly to place her right hand over Sasuke's chest, right over his heart. 'Did she stop him?'

"Sasuke…" Alice stared into the boys' wide and insane eyes. "That is enough of that. We don't need the sane you regretting anything, do we?" There was an amused tone to her voice that was reminiscent to of her usual joking tone she used with Team Seven, it relaxed both Sakura and Sasuke visibly.

"Alice…" The curse mark began to subside as Sasuke let go off Zaku's arms and stumbled around him, unconsciously following Alice's warm hand. "Alice…you…" The curse mark suddenly flared back into life and Sasuke's eyes swirled as he batted Alice's hand aside to grab her shoulders roughly. **"I thought you were dead!"**

Not flinching as Sasuke picked her up by the arms and slammed her above him against a tree, Alice merely smiled softly. "Of course you did. The eyes you pride yourself on so much seems to be unable to see much further than your pale nose." She managed to raise the lower half of her arm in order to flick the enraged boy on the nose. "I was just playing a game of hide and seek. Funny, wasn't it?"

The calm tone that Alice was discussing her 'death' with only infuriated Sasuke further. He pulled Alice towards him in order to slam her harder against the tree. "You stupid bitch! This isn't a fucking game! Why are you so stupid all the time?!"

"Oh, Sasuke-kun's swearing now?" Alice asked in a mildly interested tone. "I guess he must be growing up. As for me being stupid, I think not. Hide and seek is a great game to be playing a forest this big. Look at all the places you can hide."

The curse mark covered more of Sasuke's face and he glared at her with one white and one black eye, the sharingan standing out even more against the new shade. "Why are you always doing this?! I could kill you right now if I wished! This power…"

A sudden flare in chakra made Sasuke's attention focus back on Alice, and he flinched slightly at her glowing yellow eyes.

"That power is insignificant to that of other powers." Alice calmly tugged Sasuke's arms of her and slid down the tree trunk. "Don't try and shove it in my face, thank you very much. I prefer to keep my own emo-ness to myself, I don't need any of yours."

The curse mark now receded as Alice brushed past him casually and stood in front of a fallen – and still whimpering – Zaku and a shocked Dosu.

"Now," Alice stared solidly at Dosu and held her hand out expectantly. "I give you your lives and your teammate. You give me your scroll and promise not to target my comrades. Okay?"

All Dosu could do was nod numbly and hand over his teams scroll that he dug up from his ninja pouch. "Take it, we'll leave you alone now. I promise" The genin kept a wary eye on Sasuke as he walked over to slap Kin awake. When the girl awoke, he didn't give her a chance to talk before he dragged her over to Zaku and picked him up by his still intact arm, forcing part of his weight onto the still dazed Kin.

The Oto girl managed to glance over her bandaged wounds and look back to see Alice wink and smile at her before she was swept up in the triple leap that she committed to with her teammates.

A clapping sound drew Team Ten's and the awake members of Team Seven's attention to Alice who was dusting her hands off with a grin. "I'm glad that's over. So why doesn't everyone just come out and we can gather ourselves again." She tilted her gaze up to the three solitary figures that were perched on a tree above her and to the right, "And I mean, _everyone._"

* * *

**Wow. I'm pretty happy with that chapter, even though nothing really happened. Ah well, I hope the next chapter will solve some problems and **_**finally **_**have Alice finish this part of the Chunin exams, it seems to be going on for forever. In truth though, it hasn't even been like, five chapters yet.**

**Time flies when you're having fun with a snake-sannin and a series of life-threatening situations. All in a days work for a possessed genin wannabe. **

**A lot of conflicting stuff in there and not much of Alice or Sasuke. I couldn't believe it when I started writing Sasuke and felt **_**excited**_**. It disgusts me, even now. Writing my beloved OC as part of the main show was relieving as well. I didn't realise how much I had missed her interacting with other people, even though it's only been about five thousand words since she last talked to someone either than Shingami.**

**And wasn't Shingami just positively adorable? Getting all angry like that. Awww, he's the best!**

**You'll find out who those people were in the trees next chapter (although I hooped that it would be logically obvious).**

**Zaku's _hm _is an actual thing he apparently says. I'll have to go back to the previous chapters in order to fix that up. Don't believe me? Then look it up on Narutopedia. It's there.**

**And yes, Pakkun and Akemi-chan **_**will **_**return the next chap to finish off the second part of these exams (thank Kami for finishing this part!).**

**So, I hope you enjoyed and I hope to see you soon.**

**Bye.**


	21. Act 3 Part 5: The exams heat up!

**Hello everybody! It's I, SunMoon, saying hello to all my friends on FF!**

**Lol, I'm referencing kiddie stuff now, how sad.**

**Massive thanks for helping me to reach one hundred reviews and I'm so proud to be one of your writers. It makes me happy to know that people read this and enjoy it! Hugs and kisses of thanks and love! Xxx ooo~!**

**As for the whole waiting period…sorry? I can really only update on weekends but I have actually wrote this over a series of days, before – tonight – writing a **_**massive **_**haul that took me nearly five thousand words and two hours to write. I can state now, that at least I'm dedicated to giving you all a chapter!**

**Also, special note, this is a chapter of massive proportions. This biggest one yet! Hope you're happy! I'm aiming for over seven thousand – which was my last record – but we don't know until I finish, do we?**

**So yeah, here's another chapter of my twisted story. Read it, love it and hate it. It's all fun and games here. (Until someone dies...)**

* * *

**Disclaimer: **_Don't own Naruto, but he's finally going to make a reappearance in this chapter. Huzzah! It's always great when the character who has the series named after him doesn't show up in your story at all for around five to six thousand words!_

**Warning: **_So much swearing your eyes will burn. And sexual innuendo, maybe…_

* * *

**3****rd**** Person P.O.V.**

Alice smiled cheerfully into the foliage of a nearby tree, Team Ten and the two awake team members of Team Seven following her train of sight to three figures that stood on a tree branch.

"It seems like we have been spotted my youthful teammates! It would be rude not to greet them appropriately!" There was a boisterous laugh that followed the booming voice and one of the figures leapt down to reveal a green-clad, Rock Lee.

"Hello, Lee." A wave was offered to him by a relaxed looking Alice. Like she hadn't just talked to a crazed and murderous Sasuke, or managed to convince an enemy team to…fuck off.

Lee's eyes lit up at the mention of his name and his teeth gleamed happily at Alice. "Ah! You are Alice, are you not?! It's a pleasure to meet you again, youthful flower of Konoha!"

"Youthful flower of Konoha," mused Alice. "I like it!"

"Of course you would…" muttered Sasuke as he began to help a weak Sakura stand up. "You're insane, so of course you'll like weird things…"

Alice's ear twitched at his hissed comments, but she didn't turn from her position of staring up at a still hidden Neji and Tenten. "What are you guys waiting for? A bloody invitation? Get the fuck down here and let's have a lovely chat. Naruto-chan should be waking up soon and I'd like to get the whole explanation shit out of the way when we're all gathered."

There was a collective wince from the awake team members of Team Seven. At seeing the slightly appalled faces of Ino and Chōji, both Sasuke and Sakura wished deeply them that their friend could develop some more tact in the manner she spoke. Majority of them were only twelve after all.

"Such crass language." A haughty voice echoed from the trees and Neji leapt down from the trees gracefully, closely followed by his female teammate, Tenten. "It's uncouth for such language to be spoken in the company of others, _foreigner_."

Alice snorted softly and tossed her ponytail at the Hyūga. "You say foreigner like it's an insult, _Hyūga_. And besides, this place may not be America, but it's still a free country. I can speak however the fuck I want."

'America…?' Shikamaru's brow furrowed in thought of this new information. 'Another strange name that I haven't heard before. What was the name of the other place Alice often speaks about? Oustrayria? Where are these places? They're certainly not in the Elemental Nations. Where exactly is Alice from…?'

Ignorant to her companion's thoughts, Alice cocked her head to the side and let a massive grin cross her face. "Naruto's up!"

Sure enough, a groan was heard and the collected teams turned to the tree hollow nearby to see the previously unconscious blond slowly begin to wake up.

"My head is killing me! What the hell did I do today?" Naruto's grumbling broke off into unintelligible whining as he shakily stood up and brushed his orange jumpsuit down. He seemed oblivious to the gazes directed towards him as he stopped his dusting down in order to look around the hollow. "Actually…where am I?"

"Usuratonkachi…" Sasuke's mutter was heard loud and clear, loud enough for Naruto to hear. **(A/N: Gosh golly dang, look at that. I can rhyme.)**

The young blond instantly snapped his head towards Sasuke, his teeth bared for an insult that quickly died on his lips as he took in the sight of a bunch of people he knew. "Um…hello?"

"Hiya, Naruto-chan!" Alice stepped forward out of the group and approached the confused boy cheerfully. "Did you have a nice nap? I know Sasuke-chan did!"

Sakura had to choke back a laugh at the look of horror that crossed Ino's face at Alice's casual way of speaking about her crush. Like he was only a little brat she had to watch over and he had decided to sleep the afternoon away, much to Alice's annoyance and inconvenience.

"Kids got spunk," Tenten smirked as she watched Alice calmly answer Naruto's quickly fired off questions.

"That is not, _spunk_, Tenten." Neji replied her, the unfamiliar and _commoner_ word rolling off his tongue like acid. "That is her terrible attitude, much like the blond failure with her."

Tenten sufferingly rolled her eyes at her teammate's negative comments. 'Maybe Neji needs Gai-sensei to fire up his power of youth.' As she caught sight of Lee joining in the shouting match that was developing between Alice, Naruto and Ino, she had to supress a shiver. 'But I can pass if he ends up making another Lee…'

"As interesting the topic is about how to address Sasuke properly," Shikamaru's voice cut across the verbal battle that had sprung up and the participants quickly quietened to look at him expectantly. "Don't we have manners of business to discuss?"

"Yeah," Chōji muttered around a mouthful of chips he had just stuffed into his mouth. "Like what was up with that freaky energy around Sasuke."

Said male rubbed his neck in phantom pain before stopping quickly as everyone's gaze turned to him. "I see no reason why I should explain myself, it's none of your business."

Shikamaru's eyes were hard as flint when he looked at Sasuke. "It's our business if it's a threat to our village."

There was an uneasy silence at that and many people shifted to a fight-or-flight position at his words.

"Woah, woah, woah!" Naruto cut into the silence with his sharp words. "It would be great and all if we were all on the same page here! What the hell is up with Sasuke?!" The blond let out a huff of angry air through his nose as he got no answer. Deciding that he couldn't wait for someone to answer him willingly, he turned to his most wealthy source of information. "Sakur-!"

Naruto's words were cut off by himself, his arms flying out to grab Sakura's own forearms in surprise. "What happened to you Sakura-chan?! You're hurt! We got to get you fixed up right away! Quick! Why isn't anyone helping her?! I bet it's all your fault, Sasuke-teme!"

The atmosphere relaxed at the spew of words that was expelled from the obnoxious mouth of one Naruto. Team Gai discreetly relaxed their bodies from their ready stances. They didn't whether or not they could trust these rookies after all. They were yet to prove their loyalty to the Will of Fire.

It took three hits to the head – courtesy of Sasuke – before Naruto could calm down enough for Alice to explain what had happened while he was unconscious. And as seeing that the other two Konoha teams were interested as well, Alice decided to just sit down on a tree stump to explain it to everyone.

"I beg your pardon for my rather cold attitude earlier on. Or my rather…insane comments." Alice frowned to herself before locking gazes with a knowing Shikamaru. "It's a problem I have, and one that may not be resolved for a while, so I hope that anything I do in the future will not be too surprising for you."

"More surprising than the power of youth?" Tenten cocked an eyebrow at Alice as she leant coolly against a nearby tree trunk. "I highly doubt you could have anything more surprising or scaring than that." The girl studiously ignored the whimpers emitting from Lee with practised ease.

Alice's lips pursed as if she was about to say something but she quickly shook her head and her expression cleared. "That doesn't especially matter now. What matters, is that we currently have an S-class nuke-nin, psychopath running freely around Konoha."

There was a collected muttering of disbelief before it dispersed as Alice opened her mouth again.

"Orochimaru-sama is here in Konoha, and is quite able to put on the face of other people and blend into a crowd."

There was shocked silence at the mention of their biggest nuke-nin. He was feared by many in Konoha. Adults hoping that he would never return to snatch their babes from their cradle; to do horrible things to them.

Naruto was confused by who Orochimaru was, but he gathered that he was bad news by the way the others spoke his name in fear, and mainly by the fact that he had Sasuke.

There was a slight coughing noise as Alice drew the group of genins attention back to her. She stared at them steadily, trying to convey several unspoken messages. "Trust no one. Not even others from Konoha."

The gathered genin all shared mistrustful looks and shuffled away from each other, invisible lines dividing them into their team cells.

"Except other rookies," Shikamaru inputted. "Others from our academy classes I mean."

An agreeing nod came from Alice as she hooked a foot around her other legs ankle. "You can trust your classmates, the Will of Fire is strong in them and they will serve Konoha well."

A dubious snort came from Ino, "I can't help but doubt that." The female blonde fisted her hands on her hips and narrowed blue eyes at Alice. "And I also can't help but doubt anything that comes out of your mouth. You're some foreigner that we know nothing about. Who's to say you're not some enemy spy!"

Protests were instantly released from Naruto and Sakura's mouth as they tried to protect their friend's reputation, but a look from Alice silenced them.

"You're quite right Yamanaka-san." Alice stood up from the stump and walked over to Ino, towering over her in a way that set Ino's hairs on end. "No one can trust someone who opposes their home, or doesn't come from it. I have yet to place my loyalties in this place, but know this now; for those that I cherish, I will go to the ends of the Earth to keep them safe." Finishing with green eyes that seemed to glow with her words, Alice shifted into a short bow of respect to the surprised Ino. "I mean you no offence, but I also warn you. _Don't touch what is mine._" The brunette relaxed her bow and stepped away from Ino, before she turned away from the group and headed towards the hollow. "I will be back shortly. There are some things I wish to grab."

Silence fell again as Alice entered the inky blackness that blanketed the inside of the broken tree; until a snicker slipped out of Sakura's mouth.

"Care to tell us what is so funny?" Neji asked with a bland tone and cold eyes.

Sakura managed to swallow the smile that was trying its best to split her bruised face into two. "No. Just old memories of when Alice has said that. Don't be offended or scared. She's _very _possessive of things she deems to be hers."

Neji didn't blink at her reply. "And what would be hers?"

There was a simple lifting of Sakura's shoulders that managed to convey _duh, are you stupid or blind? _"Us. My team and Kakashi-sensei."

There was sense of awkward silence as no one knew how to respond to such a strange comment. Who had heard of someone that thought of people as objects? To be kept and collected, like trinkets and toys of affection.

"Is there anything else you guys want to know?"

A collected shudder rippled through the group as they were roused out of their thoughts and their consciousness became focused towards a grinning Alice that was advancing towards them. Clutters of things hanging out of one hand as the other scrabbled around in one of her ninja pouches. She stopped beside Sasuke and devoted her attention to pulling several scrolls out of the pouches.

"No. Not that one. There's the one with food. Full. Got stuff in it. Aha!" She exclaimed in triumphant and grabbed a plain scroll gleefully, "this one is empty!" The girl ignored the strange looks she was getting and quickly dropped down into a cross-legged position on the ground so that she could dump the odd bits and pieces that Team Seven had left onto the ground.

Unravelling the scroll with her left and biting her right thumb at the same time, Alice pushed the clutter onto a seal matrix that took up the centre of the scroll. "Seal." Swiping the bloodied thumb in gestures that no one recognised next to the objects, a puff of smoke went up and cleared to show no more objects.

"So you know sealing scrolls," Tenten said appreciatively as she eyed the strange language on the scroll that Alice was once again rolling up. "Nice."

A noncommittal noise came from Alice's throat as she stored her supplies away and stood up. "I'll ask again; any questions?"

"Rude," scoffed Ino. "Why would we need to ask _you _anything anyway?"

"Ino," Chōji tried to placate. "Just relax and stop being mean to the girl." He turned from the shocked choking noise Ino made and smiled slightly at Alice. "I'm Chōji, and my question is; what should we do about this…situation?"

Shikamaru nodded approvingly at his teammate's question. "Chōji's right. What are we going to do? Tell our superiors? Stay quiet? Tell us Alice, what do you want us to do?"

Scowling at the nosiness of his comrades, Sasuke spoke up for the first time in the conversation. "Stay quiet, for now, of course. We aren't sure of our information. We've only got the assurance of an insane girl _who pretended to be dead_."

Hiding the flinch at Sasuke's harsh words, Alice donned a cool façade and stayed quiet. She could tell that Shikamaru was better for this conversation. He was a strategist and was trusted by majority of the group. She, on the other hand, was a crazy chick that most of them had only met just now. Yep, she was _totally _the best person to get to explain a delicate situation as this. 'Damn Sasuke...'

"Well, Sasuke," Shikamaru began slightly coldly. "I believe that we should tell Hokage-sama about this. You're only disagreeing because of that – what was it called again – _cursed mark_."

A sharp intake of breath from Sasuke was the only sign of that comment meaning anything. The collected genin had no clue what Shikamaru meant; only Sakura had a sneaking suspicion of what he meant.

And of course; Alice.

"Shut up Nara," Sasuke growled, eyes flashing dangerously.

There was no sign that Shikamaru was intimidated by the boy, his eyelids just slid lazily over his dark eyes. "Whatever that thing is Sasuke, it's bad news. If – and I'm only assuming – you've just got it and you're already breaking arms and slamming friends into trees, then that seal is doing something to your mind. Something bad. I'm also assuming that your teams encounter with Orochimaru resulted in it. Meaning, you've gotten an unknown seal imprinted onto you by a twisted man who only wishes for Konoha – your homelands – downfall. So tell me Sasuke," Shikamaru looked on steadily. "If it's not so bad, then why are you doing bad things?"

Sasuke merely gritted his teeth and turned away, hand unconsciously going to the currently pulsing mark.

"Um," Naruto hesitantly began, "can someone tell me what's going on?"

"I agree with the youthful Naruto-san!" Lee's happy attitude lessened the serious atmosphere left over from Shikamaru's and Sasuke's conversation. "What is this _cursed mark _that is affecting Sasuke-sans mind?"

"It's a mind altering seal matrix, entwined with a seal that feeds off ones dark thoughts in order to power it." Alice's eyes were dark as she spoke. "But that isn't our concern right now. We should get to the finish of this part of the exams before we think out any more goals. We have roughly two to three days and I believe that all of us have the necessary scrolls, excluding Team Seven. Right?"

Shikamaru nodded beside Ino and Chōji, "we have ours, correct."

Sakura answered for Team Seven. "Unfortunately, Orochimaru…_ate _our heaven scroll, but we still have our earth." She shared a look between her two teammates, "and I'm certain that we can get a heaven scroll in quick time."

Naruto grinned heartily and gave a thumbs up. "Damn straight we can, dattebayo!"

There was no reply from Team Gai and Lee shifted nervously as he looked to Neji to answer the question. Although it wasn't spoken – or necessarily liked at times – Lee and Tenten knew that Neji was basically the leader of their team. He would be calm and collected enough to make the correct decisions for them.

"I concur," Neji said shortly, folding his arms across his chest. "We have our scrolls and I suggest that we continue this conversation at the tower in the centre of this forest. I am not done speaking with you, foreigner."

A quirk of Alice's lips was all the acknowledgement Neji needed. "Come, Lee, Tenten. If we want enough time to talk, we should get there already." The two mentioned genin nodded and leapt up to the treetops with Neji. There, Neji paused long enough to give Alice a look that she couldn't decipher. "Don't be late."

Then they were gone.

"Pity he's an asshole," sighed Ino as she stared after Neji. "He's pretty cute with his girly looks."

Sakura choked down the snort of disgust that threatened to crawl out of her mouth. Did she used to be like this when she talked about Sasuke? Sickeningly sweet and with that lovesick look in her eyes? Thank Kami for the long conversations she had previously with Alice and Kakashi-sensei. They were real eye-openers to her pathetic crush on someone who didn't like her back.

Now if only she could make Ino see, and to make sure Sasuke got the right girl. She had someone already in mind…

"We'll be taking our leave now," Shikamaru said shortly. "I will see you guys in the centre of this damn forest." He gave a half-hearted wave as he turned away and slouched towards nearby bushes.

A scoff came from Ino before she gave everyone a searching look, "bye." She gave a giggly wave and a wink to a repulsed Sasuke. "A special bye to you, Sasuke-kun~!" She gave off another round of giggles and sauntered off after Shikamaru, making sure to sway her hips as she did so.

The final member of Team Ten fidgeted with an empty chip packet before smiling softly at Team Seven and Alice. "I'll see you guys shortly. Don't…" The boys plump face furrowed as he moved away. "Don't die, okay?" The chubby boy fled the scene and his truthful words, his scarf trailing behind him.

"Wow," Naruto said, "I didn't know Chōji was so…"

"Compassionate?" Finished Alice. "He's a sweet boy, and a trustworthy companion. If you stand by him, his loyalty will serve you forever."

Sakura looked at her in confusion, "and, pray tell, how do you know this, Alice?"

There was a haunted look in Alice's eyes, like she wasn't really looking at Sakura, but at something only she could see. "Trust me, Sakura-chan. I know."

And Sakura did. Sakura trusted Alice. But sometimes, Sakura wasn't too sure. Sometimes, Alice seemed…off.

"Well," Alice snapped out of her daze with a clap of her hands. "I should be going. Teammates to find, exams to finish. You know, the usual." The brunette began to wander off, ignoring Naruto's confused tones. She leapt into the trees and disappeared.

"That was rather anticlimactic," Sakura noted idly as she began to channel healing chakra to her hands. "But then again, Alice is always one for the unsuspecting."

Sasuke could only grunt his agreement.

"Ne, Sakura-chan?" Naruto asked cautiously. "Why are you only healing yourself now? You could've done it earlier and saved yourself pain."

"True," Sakura agreed as she began to heal the last bit of her ears. "But who was to say I wasn't already healing myself? I could hear you guys that whole time, couldn't I?"

Sasuke looked at her suspiciously. "You don't need to use your hands all the time, do you? When did you get so powerful, Sakura?"

A strange smile crossed Sakura's face. "A player never reveals their hands until it's their turn, Sasuke."

* * *

A taboo was being beaten out upon stone floor, steady and fast in its tempo. The foot the taboo belonged to was sandaled and strong, used to destroying trees and breaking stones. The room that echoed the taboo was large and bare; the greeting room of a certain tower in a certain forest.

"Lee," Tenten said in exasperation, "can you please stop tapping your foot? It's driving me mad!"

The bowl-cut boy blushed lightly and straightened his posture even more than usual, feet stilling. "I'm sorry, Tenten, that was most unyouthful of me. I am just anxious to see if the other teams will get here or not. Alice-san said that she would be here quickly, but there's only a couple of hours left until the end of this portion of the exam. Sasuke-san's team has already made it, yesterday in fact."

"I understand, Lee." Tenten placed a soothing hand on her friends shoulder. "I'm sure she'll show up soon."

"She better," stated Neji from his casual position leaning against a stone wall. "She swore that she would get here on time. Maybe fate decreed that she should die out there."

Both Lee and Tenten stayed silent; Neji's morose thoughts were never given an answer, it was an unspoken rule of Team Gai.

"Excuse me, Neji, Tenten," Lee gave a short bow. "But I believe that I will go and talk to Naruto-san again. He has most youthful attitude."

Tenten stepped closer to Lee, "I'll join you, Lee. I want to talk to that Sakura girl again. She's got a good kunoichi spirit, and that's pretty rare. She's an interesting gal." Tenten twisted to face Neji, "you coming, Neji?"

"No."

Tenten shrugged before tugging Lee's arm and leading him away. Neji would be able to find them in the tower with his Byakugan easily, they had no worries there.

A few moments of silence stretched on as Neji closed his eyes and leant quietly against the wall. No other teams had arrived for the past hour or so and Neji wanted the peace and quiet before what was guaranteed to be the last rush came through.

"I know you're there," Neji spoke – seemingly – to thin air. "Come out already."

Laughter echoed before a black-clad figure flipped gracefully down off their position on the ceiling. "Damn Byakugan. It can see everything, can't it?"

"It _is _the all-seeing eye," Neji replied dryly, eyes still closed.

"You know, it's rude not to look who you're talking to in the eye. I would ask if your parents ever taught you manners, but I don't want to be disrespectful if they're dead. And you _are _a Hyūga."

A scoff escaped Neji's lips and he opened his pale eyes to meet Alice's bright green ones. "Obviously your parents never taught you manners."

Alice hummed before she sat down cross-legged on the ground, right elbow propped up by her knee and cheek in her palm. "Whatever you say, genius."

"Foreigner," sneered Neji in reply. "What do you want?"

"Me?" Alice asked innocently, batting her eyes at him. "Well, since you're asking…I'm suggesting something along the lines of an alliance. I know you don't like me, and you know I don't like you, but we're both prepared to do whatever for our village, right?"

"Your village?" Asked Neji scathingly. "If you haven't noticed, you're a foreigner. I would never form an alliance with someone like you, no matter the gain."

Alice didn't reply for a moment, content to swirl her left index against the dust and dirt that had accumulated on the stone floor. "This alliance isn't for gain, Neji. This is to protect Konoha and its people."

Unconsciously, Neji's spine straightened. "What do you know?"

"I can not be certain, so I shall not throw out any accusations here." The index finger curled to reveal blackness. "Activate your Byakugan, I want to be completely alone. The walls have ears."

Irritated by the fact that he was being ordered, Neji activated his dōjutsu and scanned the walls and ceiling for any chakra sources. "There is nothing here."

"Keep it activated," Alice said sharply as Neji began to relax. "Just in case." Seeing Neji's eyes continue to have veins arcing away from them, Alice continued. "I have reasons to suspect a plot to attack Konoha. I only know that Oto is involved, although any other village could be involved. The invasion is planned around these exams for a reason; many involving the fact that many of their nin can come to Konoha under false pretence that they are there to watch their comrades fight. I don't know how many, or how they'll attack, so it's foolish to go to Sandaime-sama about this. That's what you were going to suggest we should do, wasn't it?" Alice cocked her head to the side as she studied the suddenly blank Hyūga.

"Remember this though, Neji; don't trust anyone. Even your superiors. We are shinobi for a reason and our jobs entail spying and infiltration, that could very well be happening in our village right now."

Neji only gave a terse nod at this dose of information; what else was he going to say? Alice had obviously thought over this before handing the information over to him, but…

"Why me?"

Emerald eyes looked at him with amusement dancing in them. "Why you? Well, you are the most level-headed person I know about, either than Shikamaru. Your cold façade will also be useful in hiding the lies. I also expect you to get to the finals; that's where they are most likely to make their move."

Another terse nod.

"Has anyone else been informed?"

The emerald eyes shone brighter. "Clever. The only other person is Shikamaru. He is someone who I trust and he will become immensely important in the future. Your mind may be sharp and cold, but his is the most brilliant of our age. His strategic thinking will come in handy for planning and executing."

Neji mulled over the information for a moment before agreeing. "What is it that you wish me to do?"

"Do what you do best, Neji." A Cheshire-grin spread its way across Alice's face. "Observe and assess."

The brunette uncurled from her sitting position and rose to a height that was taller than Neji's by a head. "I'll be taking my leave now. Thank you for your time."

"You are not coming in?" Neji asked, his normally bland voice barely tinted with confusion. "Why wouldn't you? Your…friends are waiting."

"Really, I would." The grin stayed immensely wide. "But I would have to be here to do that."

She disappeared in a puff of smoke.

* * *

A certain blond was bouncing anxiously on the balls of his feet as he waited with a throng of other chunin-hopefuls in a large room outside of equally large, closed doors. "Where is she? She's not here yet. Do you think she's hurt? What if she's hurt? Who's going to help her? Maybe we should go out and find her. May-"

"Shut up, Dobe." Sasuke punctuated his quiet words with a firm rap on Naruto's head before retreating a step out of the blond's personal space. "That idiot will come soon. She wouldn't miss something as important as this."

"He's right you know Naruto," Sakura said idly as she scrubbed away some dirt that marred her pale arms, elbows occasionally brushing Sasuke and Naruto. "Alice is almost always coming in at exactly the right time. As she says; 'the hero arrives at the perfect moment.'"

Naruto hemmed and hawed some before relenting and relaxing his vibrating frame. "I guess you're right, Sakura-chan."

"She's always right, you know?"

A – very, _very_ unmanly – scream came from Naruto's mouth as he leapt back from the grinning brunette that had appeared in front of his face. "A-a-"

"Alice," Sakura finished helpful for him. "Where were you?"

Said girl turned to Sakura and turned up her smile to blinding. "You know, here, there, and everywhere."

"No," Sakura relaxed her arms as she successfully got the dirt off her right arm. "I don't know since you didn't tell us where you were going."

Alice chuckled nervously and ruffled her spiky fringe. "Sorry 'bout that. I had to head off quickly since one of my bunshins had found my teammates. Unfortunately, some of the giant tigers living in that forest had found them first. So I hit a spot of trouble there and it took me a while to find my bearing after that."

"So I guess the tigers are the main reason that your shirt has been torn into two," Sakura said. "I'm also guessing there's a good reason why you're wearing a snake around your waist to keep the shirt together."

The silvery snake raised its head, that was trailed up from Alice's back and currently resting it's head on her shoulder, and hissed – in what Sakura _assumed _to be a happy way.

An odd whimper came from Naruto's mouth as he looked at the snake that was about as long as his arm span. 'I think I get away from these accursed snakes and there's only more coming after me!'

"Yeah," laughed Alice. "Akemi-chan didn't mind too much. She likes my body heat and is content on wrapping herself around me, she is a constrictor after all."

"You named it, Akemi?" Naruto asked incredulously.

"Yep." Alice scratched Akemi's head and smiled when the snake hissed contently. "That's what Anko-nee called her, and as my teammate, she is respected enough to get a name."

Team Seven didn't even acknowledge the fact that her _teammate _was a _snake. _You eventually got used to some things that Alice did, and suddenly appearing with random animals wasn't completely abnormal.

Kami-knows that Sasuke knew. It took him three days and twelve massive arguments to convince Alice to toss the tortoise she had, somehow, found, into one of the many freshwater lakes that Konoha had.

It had taken him another week to get the weird, rotting weed smell out of his bathroom where Alice insisted on keeping the damn thing.

"Are you not talking to me, Sasuke?" Alice asked curiously to the quiet – although that's not really strange – Sasuke who studiously kept his head tilted away from the diamond conversation that he was currently making up one side of.

"…"

"Are you really giving me the silent treatment? What are you? Five?"

"…"

"Duck-ass."

"Bitch."

"Emo."

"Yari koi."

"Teme."

Sakura cut in before the verbal argument could escalate to one of physical properties. "You guys can have your lovers spat later, I believe the next portion of the exams are beginning." The pink-haired girl walked past a stunned Sasuke and turmoil-filled Alice, followed closely by a snickering Naruto.

"I really don't think that this could get more awkward right now," Alice said quietly as the last few genin pushed past her. "But anyway," she flourished an arm towards the now open doors. "Shall we enter, Mr Uchiha?"

"Idiot," scoffed Sasuke as he relaxed and flicked her ear. "Let's go."

"I said that already," whined Alice as she followed him into the stone room that was even bigger than any of the rooms they had seen so far. "Holy son of a monkey…"

The room and its statues were more intimidating and awe-inspiring than how it was portrayed in the show. Alice couldn't help but appreciate the craftsmanship that had most likely gone into the whole place.

Meanwhile, Sasuke rolled his eyes discreetly at Alice's choice of words. 'Idiot…' He wandered past several genin who stared at him suspiciously and stopped behind Naruto and Sakura, the former who had been waving stupidly to get his attention.

"Ne, ne," Naruto started excitedly. "What do you think we'll be doing know?"

"Something physically based," offered Sakura. "It would only be logical since we've had tests based on; smarts, reconnaissance, survival skills and general shinobi basics. Testing our physical attributes should most likely come next."

Sasuke nodded in agreement as Naruto chirped at how smart 'his Sakura-chan was!'

When Sarutobi Hiruzen stepped forward on a balcony that overlooked the collected genin, jōnin leaders of every team flanking him, Team Seven quickly fell silent alongside the other genin in order to listen.

A few teams down and on the very end of the lines, Alice stood quietly next to the Sand Siblings. She could feel Gaara's KI pulsing out towards her, but she ignored it. If you were subjected to Anko's constant tests of strength via KI, you could easily brush Gaara's unfocused, raging mass of KI off.

Temari and Kankurō were having a bit more trouble.

"Psst, pup, are we at the tower yet?"

Alice shifted slightly as Pakkun's warm breath tickled her neck. "Yes, Pakkun. We've been here for a while. Did you find your nap comfortable? I meant, you _were _inside my top with a snake that could potentially kill you wrapped around you."

Pakkun's discomfort was palpable as he shifted around in his impromptu piggyback of Alice's upper back, his hind paws resting on Akemi's coils. "Um…"

There was a hiss as Akemi lifted her head of Alice's right shoulder in order to peer back at Pakkun.

"I was very comfortable," Pakkun said quickly. "Very comfortable indeed."

"Good," replied Alice shortly. "If you said otherwise, I think Akemi-chan might've been having doggie for lunch today."

No laughter came from Pakkun. He was not amused.

Suddenly, Hiruzen's voice rang out, loud and clear. "Since we have too many contestants, we shall have a preliminary in order to cut down the numbers to manageable levels."

Almost instantly, there were several loud protests and Alice was content to idly listen to people like Kiba, Shikamaru and Temari protest against such a verdict.

"Enough." Hiruzen's voice didn't raise in volume, but it had an undertone of steel contained in its calm tones. "I will no-"

"Excuse me, Hokage-sama." A sickly male cut across Hiruzen. "But I shall explain the rules, if you may."

As Hiruzen nodded his assent, Hayate launched into a tirade of rule explaining, only interrupted occasionally by protests, exclamations of indignation and severe coughing fits.

Hayate coughed quietly before speaking once more. "If that is all, does anybody wish to back out now? We have even numbers of twenty-two, but we allow people to back out if they don't wish to continue."

'Kabuto…' Alice didn't let her eyes be drawn to the form of Kabuto who had already started arguing with his teammates. Instead, she looked over to where Team Seven was currently arguing.

Both Naruto and Sakura seemed to be ganging up on Sasuke, who was currently holding his neck as he stubbornly argued back.

'So he didn't get it sealed…Idiot.' Alice tsked to herself and absently stroked Akemi's head. 'I don't know if I should be grateful or not; if he had it sealed, he may have not had the problems in his battle and he probably would've been here for the next few fights. On the other hand; he being sealed is something I know, that I don't need to predict. I guess I should just be thankful for now and see how this plays out. Orochimaru shouldn't really make Kabuto forfeit as it would raise suspicion, something that I'm only too glad to take advantage of…'

"Proctor, I forfeit."

Murmurs broke out amongst the genins as Kabuto raised his hand in defeat. Alice watched curiously to see if Naruto would protest and ask why, but there was no shouts from the blond. 'Interesting, it seems like I have changed something in this series after all.

Shingami chuckled deep in the recess of her mind, mindful of not letting his thoughts echoing out to her consciousness. _You have no idea what you have already managed to change…_

The murmurs died down as Kabuto walked out unhindered and Hayate brought their attention to large, electric board above their heads. "This board will decide the matches randomly."

'Random my ass,' snorted Alice internally.

"First match is…" Hayate stared up at the board as a flurry of letters cluttered across it. "Yoroi Akadō versus Uchiha Sasuke."

There were a few scattered murmurs and Alice caught sight of Sakura and Naruto looking at Sasuke with concern, but her attention was drawn back to Hayate. "If there are no protests; contestants step forward and I have to ask the rest of you to exit the arena and to go up to the stands."

Alice dropped back to walk beside a worried Naruto and Sakura, both glancing back as Kakashi began to speak with an irritated Sasuke.

"He'll be fine, guys." Alice slung an arm around each of the younger kid's shoulders, mindful of not dislodging Pakkun from her back or upsetting Akemi on her shoulder too badly. "Let's go up to the stands and watch him kick ass!"

"Yeah!" Naruto began to get fired up as they walked up the steps. "He promised that he wanted to fight me, so I'm going to hold that to him!" He ducked under Alice's arm and leant over the railing, cupping his hands around his mouth as he did so. "Do you hear that Sasuke?! You better not lose before I have the chance to kick your ass!"

A familiar smirk appeared on Sasuke's face as he turned from Kakashi and looked up at Naruto. "Me lose, Dobe? You should be more concerned about yourself."

Naruto spluttered and went to yell, but found himself being picked up by the scruff of his jumpsuit by an irritated Sakura. "Just shut your trap Naruto and let's go up already. You've already got the whole place looking at us." She ignored Naruto's wails and continued to drag Naruto up the stairs, only releasing him when they were between their sensei and Asuma.

Alice followed at a slower pace, only doing so since she had to give Sasuke the universal sign of _I'm watching you_.

His smirk got even wider – if that was even possible.

"The match will begin if we have no more interruptions," Hayate interjected quietly. "I'm going to have to ask you to leave, Kakashi."

The famous eye-smile appeared on Kakashi's face and he patted Sasuke on the shoulder before wandering up the steps to Alice. "C'mon, Alice-chan. Let's get a good view, okay?"

"Mn," Alice agreed as she fell into step beside her sometimes-sensei. "Gotta get a good view to see Sasuke kick that guy's ass!"

"So confident in Sasuke, aren't you?" Kakashi asked slyly.

Alice frowned at him. "Why wouldn't I be? I don't waste my time in people I don't believe in, or don't like. That's foolish and time wasting." She gave a huff before bounding over to Naruto and Sakura, who were both chatting quietly to Shikamaru and Chōji about the upcoming fight.

"They grow up so fast," sighed Kakashi before walking over to join Asuma.

Down at the battlefield, Hayate raised his arm up between Sasuke and Yoroi. He glanced at the two, "are you ready?"

An ugly sneer crossed Yoroi's face. "I'm ready to take this punk down."

"Tch, you wish," scoffed Sasuke as he got into a ready position.

"Okay." Hayate's arm sliced through the air. "Begin!"

Neither of the two moved, both content in studying each other closely. Yoroi gave a smirk towards Sasuke as he cocked his head. "Is that girl your bitch? The brunette, I mean."

Sasuke's stance slipped as he choked, "WHAT?!"

"Oi! Dickwad!"

Yoroi turned to see an angry Alice leaning over the railing of the stands. "What is it, bitch?"

In response, Alice gave a short snarl. "First of all," she held up her right hand and lifted up her middle finger. "Fuck you. Secondly, I am no one's bitch! Especially not a pussy-ass like that Uchiha."

A scowl appeared on Sasuke's face. "I'm not a pussy-ass!"

"Fine, Pussicha," Alice rolled her eyes. "Whatever."

Sasuke's anger was so great that he couldn't respond. Instead, he ground his teeth together before turning his killer Uchiha glare onto Yoroi. "Since Alice is up there, I guess I'll have to beat the crap out of you before I can go murder her."

"I'd like to see you try!" Yoroi roared as he took off, right arm extended out towards Sasuke as it began to glow ominously. "Show me your power, Uchiha!"

Leaning against the railing above the fight, a certain brunette tried to regain her composure. "Power this, power that," sniped Alice as she watched Sasuke dodge the initial attack from Yoroi, and then continue to dodge the mad swipes from the creepy male. "That's all Sasuke is good for. Fucking hell, why doesn't he just kick the gay feeler in the face so we can get on with our lives. The guy is obviously weak in the legs since he's focusing on attacking with his arms so much."

Nobody replied to her angry muttering – Pakkun was content to go back to napping on her back and Akemi wasn't half-dozing on her shoulder – but somehow – probably the years spent listening out for gossip – Ino caught the bad comment about Sasuke, and promptly acted in reply.

"You take that back about Sasuke-kun!"

Blinking in surprise, Alice turned to face a huffing Ino who stood in front of the rest of her team and the two members of Team Seven. "Why do you care? I'm not talking shit about you."

Ino stamped her foot angrily, "but you insulted _my _Sasuke-kun! Repeatedly!"

"That's nice," Alice answered absentmindedly as she continued to watch Sasuke's match. "Oh man, Sasuke is really sucking. Well, more like that other guy is sucking. Sucking his chakra."

"Really?" Sakura asked, interested as she came to lean against the railing beside Alice. "How can you tell?"

"Chakra sensor," reminded Alice. "I know Sasuke's chakra and I can already feel it dropping."

"Don't ignore me you skank!" Ino wailed in the background. "And how dare you feel Sasuke-kun's chakra! You can't do that!"

Wisely, Naruto gave her a wide berth as he went to hop up and sit down on the railing to Sakura's left. "That Teme better not lose."

Ino pouted dramatically, ignored by all. "Don't ignore me as well; Pig! Loser!"

She continued to be ignored.

There was a reason though; Sasuke wasn't in a good position as of right now and Team Seven and Alice held their breath as they watched.

Squirming under the older male's hand, Sasuke could feel his strength fading as his chakra was forcibly taken off him. "G-get off me." He weakly tried to slap away Yoroi's hand with his own, the other hand occupied with grasping Yoroi's hand so that he wouldn't fall down.

"It's sad that the Uchiha have fallen so much," Yoroi said with quiet malice. "I remember when the Uchiha used to be great. Now, not so much…"

A wordless snarl came out of Sasuke's mouth as he thrashed and struggled.

"C'mon Sasuke! He's messing up your perfect hair! Are you really going to let him do that?!"

Both Yoroi and Sasuke paused at Alice's screams. Yoroi's face was amused as he clenched Sasuke's head tighter, crumpling the boys hair in his meaty fingers. "Hear that? She's worried over your _perfect hair. _It definitely sounds like she's your bitch."

"I'm not his fucking bitch!" Alice kicked her foot angrily against the railing, unknowingly awakening Akemi and Pakkun. "I'm going to fucking kill you Sasuke if you don't beat this asshole! Get up and finish him!" She finished with her hands out in front of her as fists, clenched in determination and flailing madly at the air like she was fighting invisible enemies.

"Always causing trouble," Sasuke muttered before he snapped his left leg up in a kick that completely smashed Yoroi's ever-present glasses.

"You little-!"

Yoroi wasn't able to finish his sentence as Sasuke managed to stagger upright and throw a few good punches into the male's defence that he hastily put up.

Springing away to catch his breath, Sasuke took note of his chakra levels that were alarmingly low. 'I only have enough for one katon jutsu. Better make it count.' Summoning some of his chakra, Sasuke went to make the necessary handseals, but found the constant throbbing in his neck flaring to a ridiculous level.

"Gah!" He stopped moulding chakra and hastily grabbed his neck as his pain spiked once more. 'I can't use my chakra! It hurts too much!'

"Use taijutsu, dumbass!" Called down Alice. "What the fuck do you think we've been doing at training? Practising ballet? Kakashi-sensei has put time and effort into making you a real shinobi, so you better fucking make him proud. Kami-knows that his skill is too high to play around with little brats like you. He is the fucking copy-nin after all!"

Kakashi laughed from where he leant against the wall with Asuma. "You make me blush, Alice."

Said girl turned around quickly to give him a peace sign and a wink. "Love you too, sensei!" She quickly turned around as Naruto tugged on her arm, shouting about 'Sasuke stating to kick that bastard's ass!'

"…Interesting bunch you have there, Kakashi." Asuma retorted in mild bemusement as he watched the pink-haired girl of his comrade's team leap up onto the railings in order to yell encouragement down at the Uchiha boy. "…Very enthusiastic."

"Maa, Asuma," chuckled Kakashi as he looked at his team and fighting student with quiet pride. "They're one of the most interesting kids I've had the – occasional – pleasure of meeting."

Asuma merely raised his eyebrows and fell silent again, interested in how Sasuke would fare against the chakra-leeching nin from Konoha.

Apparently, not well at parts.

"Oooh," Naruto visibly winced, "that's going to leave a mark tomorrow."

"I'll heal it," Sakura said before screaming some more encouragement at her teammate. "Go Sasuke! Make us proud!"

"Shut up, Sakura!" Sasuke huffed as he twisted away from Yoroi's searching hand. "I'm not doing this bloody thing to make you proud."

"You're doing it 'cause you looove~ us~!" Alice clasped her hands together and fluttered her eyes. "You love us soooo much~!"

A shriek of rage came from Sasuke and he slapped Yoroi's hand away, not caring about the slight drain, before he slammed his fist into his face in a vicious right hook. "You guys are so annoying!"

"Aww," Alice cooed, "little Sasuke-chan is all embarrassed."

Sakura echoed her small noises of endearment, "he's so adorable when he gets like this!"

Meanwhile, Team Gai and Team Ten looked on in quiet horror. Well, the team members that would _actually _show their shock.

"Okay, guys," Tenten said aside to her teammates. "I think we've finally found a team weirder than ours."

"They are most youthful!" Lee beamed. "What amazing blossom those lovely flowers will bloom into!"

"Lee!" Bellowed Gai. "Truly you understand the springtime of youth! Yours words have moved me so!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Gai-sensei!"

"Lee!"

'Kami I hate my team sometimes,' Neji muttered to himself internally.

"I have no idea what to be more horrified at," whispered Ino with wide eyes. "Sakura joking and _teasing _to and about Sasuke-kun. Or the freaky beachside, water show accompanied by a sunset that is happening to our right. Who wears green spandex? Or even spandex? What has this world come too?!"

Chōji had to agree with his teammate. When had the exams turned into a crazy mass of yelling, cheering and weeping for teammates and senseis?

"Troublesome," muttered Shikamaru as he watched everything with drooping eyes. "Everything is mad and troublesome."

Internally though, he was more than a bit worried. 'If Sasuke uses that freaky seal again, this exam will not end well under _any _circumstances. It's bad enough he went crazy in the forest, but if he goes mad here again, he's certain to get killed. Maybe even by his own sensei…'

Almost opposite Sasuke, a disguised sannin let a crazed grin slip out. 'Use the curse seal, Sasuke-kun.' Orochimaru watched with anticipation as Sasuke visibly wore down from the small snatches of chakra Yoroi had managed to grab off him. 'Give into the temptation and use the power! Wield it so that I may wield you!'

Unknowing of how he was being thought of by several people, Sasuke had slowed down enough that Yoroi managed to brush him and a large amount of his remaining chakra was sucked away greedily by the glow surrounding Yoroi's hand. He gasped and swayed drunkenly on his feet before staggering back a bit. "Ugh…"

"You're mine now, Uchiha." A fist ploughed down towards Sasuke, heading for a blow that would knock out Sasuke in one hit.

'No!' Sasuke's eyes widened and bled into red as he saw the fist grow closer. 'This will not be how it ends!'

His barely activated sharingan gave him enough perception to manoeuvre his body past Yoroi's fist and past the rest of his body. The attempt on his chakra though, began to draw out his curse seal. The jagged lines were already beginning to creep up his neck when he leapt a few paces away from the smirking enemy.

"Shit," Alice cursed as she saw the glow of orange on Sasuke's neck dull to a sickening black that stood out against his pale skin.

"You can say that again," Naruto said as he leant over the railing anxiously. "Don't use it Sasuke, damn it!" He yelled to himself. "He better not give into it! I'll beat the crap out of if he does!"

"Get in line," growled Sakura, the railing beginning to tremble under her clenched hands. "If he thinks he can use that thing, _specifically after I told him too_, then he's dead meat!"

An unbidden smile crept across Kakashi's covered mouth as he watched his students. 'Ah, sensei, if you were here, would you be proud of me? Of the person your child has become? I've tried hard sensei, but I wasn't there for him. But, it seems, like I wasn't needed to make him into a person worthy of your name.'

Over at the small balcony where many other senseis and proctors stood, one single woman began to panic at the sight of the black lines that were making their way up Sasuke's face. 'The Uchiha brat has the curse mark!' Anko looked across to her Hokage in fear, her own curse mark trembling and pulsing with her fear. 'Call the match, Hokage-sama! Call it already! We're not having a fucking incident here, not if you just call it to a stop already!'

Hiruzen leant back enough in the chair he was sitting in, in order to catch Anko's harried brown eyes. Barely shaking his head, he tried to put the girl at ease, but still felt like he hadn't done much when he faced the fight again.

"Pup," whimpered Pakkun as he huddled close to Alice's ear. "I know this chakra…"

A hand rose up to pat Pakkun soothingly, "I know Pakkun. Just wait, it'll be fine soon." Alice began to worry her bottom lip with her teeth, even Akemi's soothing hisses couldn't calm her.

On the battlefield, Sasuke faced off with Yoroi before sweeping his gaze across the awaiting spectators. Suddenly, he stopped his scrutinising, his gaze caught by his teammates and Alice.

Naruto and Sakura were watching him so expectantly, and he could even see Kakashi behind them, watching with a hard look. They had trained him hard; and for what? So that he could give up now? So that he wouldn't be known as the strong, invincible Uchiha Sasuke? No. That wouldn't do.

Emerald eyes stared solidly into his and then crinkled slightly in a smile. Sasuke could almost hear Alice's past words in his ear, like she was speaking them to him all over again.

_Who are you Sasuke? You say you're an Uchiha, but what does that mean? To many, an Uchiha is known for one thing and one thing only; their sharingan. They pride themselves on that one aspect and that is something that many only think about when they think of your clan. Me? I think of their pride in their abilities. Their pride on what _they _achieve. So, Sasuke, are you a copy-cat? Or your own person?_

Alice's eyebrows quirked up in a silent _what are you going to do now? _And Sasuke nodded to himself and at her question.

He would show this bastard the strength of the Uchiha pride.

A deep breath was taken before Sasuke did anything. Feet blurring into action, the young Uchiha tugged specific kunai out of his ninja pouch before flicking them expertly towards Yoroi.

The elder boy laughed as he easily dodged the weapons, the knives sinking in with a thunk into the tora handseal behind. "What was that meant to do, Uchiha? You're weak and your aim is so off you can't even throw a kunai properly! Forfeit now and I won't have to humiliate you further."

Sasuke didn't give him a response, too intent on tightening his hold on the invisible wired grasped in his fingers and pulling them at the right angles.

The only warning Yoroi got that something was wrong was the odd whistling sound in the air before his body was suddenly picked up by invisible wires and flung back, pinned, against the statue behind. The unique carvings digging into his back as he did so, eliciting a sharp gasp of pain.

"Forfeit now before I slit your throat," Sasuke said coldly as he tugged on the ninja wired. "My ninja wires are of the highest quality and are capable of cutting heavier heads from thicker necks than yours. I'll give you to the count of three though, just to be fair. One…"

Yoroi gurgled as the wires bit into his arms, legs and torso, but also began to slice deeply into his bare throat.

"Two…"

He flailed his fingers, grasping for something that wasn't there. His lips began to go blue and his face contrasted the cool colour with a warm red. He could barely breathe and _was that his breath rattling out of his mouth, or neck?_

"Thr-"

"Yoroi will have to forfeit as he has no other choice!" Hayate finally intervened with the fight, his hand grabbing Sasuke's securely so that he couldn't rip his arms back and slice off Yoroi's head. "Uchiha Sasuke is the winner of this fight!"

A blatant pause fell over the crowd and contestants as they tried to process what had just happened. Sasuke's fingers slackened as he began to realise and Yoroi fell to the ground with a wet cough. 'I won…?'

"FUCK YEAH, HE WON!" Alice's shout prompted Naruto and Sakura to start cheering, the trio making enough noise to make up for everyone else's silence – they _were _ninja after all. They don't clap or cheer for such occasions.

"Way to go Sasuke!" The combined cheer came from his…friends, and Sasuke let a tired smirk cross his face before he turned to his teammates. "Didn't you think I could do it?"

"Well," began Naruto as he nervously scratched his head. "I had some doubts when you were getting _your ass handed to you_. But other than that…"

A scoff came from Sasuke. "Shut up, usuratonkachi."

He tiredly pulled his ninja wire from his kunai before winding them up in coils and slipping them back into his ninja pouch. Trudging past Yoroi – who was being helped up by several medics – he tugged his kunai out of the statue and placed them into his ninja pouch alongside their accompanying wire.

Just as he was turning to head back up to his teammates, there was a puff of smoke and a strong hand grasped his shoulder. "Sorry Sasuke, but we need to seal _that _up before you do anything else."

Sasuke looked up at his sensei before looking across at his teammates. Both Naruto and Sakura looked confused and worried at what was going on, but Alice gestured him to go, her strange snake bobbing its head in the air beside her.

"Okay," was all Sasuke said before the view of his friends disappeared in a swirl of white smoke.

* * *

**Blah! Done!**

**Holy hell that was long as fuck and twice as hard to write. It was weird to try and write a battle and the conversations that go on around it. I don't know how people do it! And serious respect to those fan fictioners who can like, quote Naruto perfectly in their stories. I could dig up the dialogue online, but I'm a lazy bitch who just wants to put this up already. So yeah, hope you're okay with this and that it wasn't too OOC in parts. **

**Sakura has basically out away her girly crushes and toys – which will become very evident in her upcoming battle with Ino – so it's hard not to write her like a mini-Alice. But she'll get her own type of spunk and dry humour. Don't worry about it!**

**I wanted to get to ten thousand words, but I'm not sure if I really made it. I'm a bit disappointed, but I guess you can't win it all.**

**But you can catch them all… ;D I'm too good.**

**But, okay, yeah, that's all I have to say so…Thanks for the wait and enjoy while you can. I'm not sure when I can update this story again, so just be patient and don't hate on me too much, I have a soft heart, ya know? Softer than playdough on a hot day.**

**Getting off track here, so,**

**Ciao my lovely friends.**


	22. Act 4 Part 1: The kunoichi hoedown

**Aww, you guys are too kind! Nine reviews in one hit, shazzam!**

**Thanks so much and I really do appreciate it.**

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**Disclaimer: **_I don't know if I own this, but I _seem _to be an Australian female rather than an Asian male. But you can never be too sure…_

**Warning: **_I don't even know anymore, but I'll have an accurate stab and say language. Probs violence and some random moments that are very, very random!_

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**3****rd**** Person P.O.V.**

"Bye, Sasuke."

Naruto looked over at the brunette next to him weirdly. "You do realise he isn't here anymore, don't you, Alice-nee?"

Said girl shrugged her shoulders, Akemi's head bobbing along with the appendages. "Eh, it's just common courtesy. Who cares if he's not here to hear it."

'Well that's the whole point of being courteous.' Sakura kept her thoughts to herself and rolled her eyes. 'Alice can be such an idiot sometimes.'

'**Damn straight!' **her Inner agreed wholeheartedly, sharing the same opinion about the older girl as her Outer.

"Will Zaku Abumi and Shino Aburame come down?" Hayate's voice cut across Sakura's thought process and she glanced around to see the cocky Oto-nin with his arms in slings heading down the stairs, her silent ex-classmate following closely after, his glasses hiding any of his thoughts.

"Oh?" Alice leaned forward and peered closely at the two boys who stood facing each other down in the battle arena. "Za…Zat Oto-nin doesn't look too hurt." She hurriedly covered saying Zaku's name by changing her voice into one of a German voice. It was a good cover...if she was back home.

Both Sakura and Naruto turned to her curiously. "That was a strange accent, Alice." Sakura commented off-handily, "it sounds so…"

"Totally awesome!" Naruto beamed at Alice before leaning in excitedly. "Can you do any more? Ne, Alice-nee? Do another funny voice!"

The brunette chuckled nervously and leant back to gain her personal space back. "Maybe later, Naruto-chan. I think you should watch Shino and that Zaku guy fight. Maybe you'll learn something."

"As if!" Naruto wheeled back around to stare down at the fight that was just beginning. "I'm way better than either of them! They can't teach me nothin'!"

Bumping her fist lightly onto the blond's head, Sakura began to berate him heartily for his crass comments and 'belittling of another person's skills.'

Breathing a sigh of relief, Alice backed away from the railing to compose herself once more. It wouldn't be good if her friends found out that she was…was she close to Zaku, Dosu and Kin? _Friends? Enemies? Acquaintances?_ They didn't seem close enough to be _friendly_, and Alice herself rarely called people friends, so that was ruled out. They weren't _enemies_ either. The Oto-nin were just slightly cocky kids around her age, and all Alice could see when she looked at them was their dead bodies. Dosu crushed by sand, Zaku and Kin pale, enclosed in coffins as sacrifices.

Shaking her head and edging past a glaring Ino, Alice decided that they were _acquaintances_. They could gain from each other and the three nin could prove to be useful in the future as soldiers. As long as she turned them over to _her _side.

Just as she was deciding to go and chat with Dosu and Kin about their teammate and their wellbeing, Alice bumped into someone. "Oof!" Bouncing back off the warm body, Alice rubbed her nose to relieve the pain before bowing to whoever she had disturbed, mindful of not crushing Akemi or dislodging Pakkun who had begun to take a nap again. "I'm very sorry for bumping into you, I should've looked where I was going. I am in fault here."

"…I can't believe _Anko _is your sensei."

Blinking in surprise, Alice stood up straight and looked into amused crimson eyes. "It generally throws everyone for a loop when they meet me. That is, until they _really _meet me." She dipped into a shorter bow before offering a polite smile. "You must be Kurenai-san. I've heard of you, Genjutsu mistress of Konoha."

"My reputation precedes me I see," smiled Kurenai softly. "I am sure that you are Anko's new pupil, Alice, am I right?"

"Well, you're not wrong there, Kurenai-san," said Alice, "but I've been with Anko-nee for a few months now, so I'd definitely say that I'm not new."

Kurenai's smile widened slightly, "You are quite true there. Do you enjoy Anko's training?"

Stepping slightly so that she stood next to Kurenai and was able to see the fight below, Alice answered her honestly. "Yes. I don't think I've had as much fun as I've had with her. Although she can seem slightly harsh and crazy at times, she's a great person beneath it all."

With crimson eyes, Kurenai watched the girl's face soften with fondness. "…So you don't buy into the whole…"

"She's Orochimaru's whore who is spying for him and will kill anyone for fun theory?" Alice's mouth quirked into a mirthless smile. "I despise them. If people would _actually _get to know Anko-nee, maybe they wouldn't be such heartless, judgemental bastards."

"Such crude words for a young girl," Kurenai commented. "I hope Anko didn't teach you that."

"Nah," Alice shook her head, grinning at unknown memories. "Anko-nee has taught me many things, but not my bad language." She tilted her head to the side to wink slyly at Kurenai. "But I won't say anything against her teaching me new words."

Frowning in exasperation at her friend's antics and that such a young girl would know such words, Kurenai had to say that she was glad Anko had taken on this girl. At first, she had been worried. Not for the 'poor soul' who would have the snake summoner as a sensei, but for Anko, who probably couldn't take a new generation of Konoha hating her as mindlessly as their generation before, and the generation before that. But this girl seemed to do the exact opposite.

Anko often visited her, or came into the local bar that all of the jōnins went to, bragging proudly about stuff, like how her 'little snake-brat had learnt twenty more pressure points that could kill a man.' Every time Alice was mentioned, no matter how briefly, Anko was ready with another story of how the girl was growing up to be just as awesome as she was; she was just as perverted, crazy, and sadistic as she was, what more could she want?

"I trust Anko-nee, you know?"

Alice's soft comment made Kurenai turn her gaze fully on the girl. "Did I say you didn't?"

"No, but you were thinking it." A sigh escaped the brunette's mouth as she watched Zaku blast another round of air from his 'one good arm.' "I'll say this only once, Kurenai-san, so you should listen to this, and maybe even tell your jōnin buddies while you're at it."

At those words, Kurenai subconsciously straightened and looked at Alice in all seriousness who, in turn, looked right back with her steady emerald eyes. "And, pray, what is it you want to tell me?"

"I may be a foreigner that nobody trusts," began Alice in a strong voice. "But you seem to forget that I'm also a young teenager who has had no previous experiences with fighting or military action that your children here have grown up with. I am weak. I am inexperienced. I am no threat; to your people, or your beloved village."

"But even then, as a teenager who is alone in a new world, I don't trust easily." Alice's face creased and furrowed to form lines around her eyes and mouth. "Anko-nee though…I trust her with my life. I would gladly die in her place, even if she only gained a few more minutes of life from my death, so be it. I love Anko-nee, as a sister, I mean. She is the person I trust most in this village, the one I will turn to for all problems and all thoughts. I will confide, be trained, live, breathe, hug, _love, _Anko-nee if that is what she asks from me."

Taking a deep breath to steady herself, the brunette continued. "So you see, Kurenai-san, _that woman_ is one of the best reasons I would _never_ go against this village. I would _never _betray any citizen of Konoha. I _**will **__never _let a Konoha shinobi die if I couldn't do something to save them. Kurenai-san, if this is just one person, imagine what my views are like when I have _several _of these precious people."

She could imagine. She could see it. Kurenai could touch, see, _feel _the will of fire that burned within the young girl in front of her. And, frankly, she didn't know whether to be scared, proud or glad that a person of the next generation could have a will of fire that burned so bright that it was visible.

But she didn't say that. Instead, she smiled and nodded to Alice, deciding that she would be _happy _that Anko had such a devoted constant in her life. Although she was Anko's best friends, she was also away on missions just as much as the purple-haired woman was. She couldn't be there for Anko every time she needed her. But this girl could.

"I'm glad that Anko has such a devoted student like you."

The beam that spread across Alice's face could've lit up the room if it wanted to. "I'm glad that I have her as well." The grin continued to stay on her face as Hayate's voice cut through the seemingly private conversation. "The winner is Aburame Shino!"

"Well, damn," Alice commented with a grin. "It seems that your student just won, Kurenai-san."

"So it seems he did," agreed Kurenai. "If you'll excuse me, I will have to go and congratulate him. It was a pleasure meeting you, Alice."

Simply waving goodbye, Alice watched the dark-haired woman walk over to the nearby stairs in order to congratulate her student, Hinata and Kiba peeling off the railing a while down in order to follow her. Watching the young woman and her two other pupils chat to the boy made Alice curious as to if Anko was okay. In the series, she had freaked out over Sasuke having the cursed seal and in turn, hers started acting up.

But looking over to the other balcony where several senseis, Hiruzen and a couple of proctors stood, Alice could see Anko had recovered and was absently flipping a kunai in her hands, watching medics take away Zaku in a bored matter.

_Zaku…_

Straightening up, Alice turned on her heel to walk further down the long balcony on which the teams stood, nodding slightly to Temari and Kankurō as she passed them. Holding in a smile at the flare in Gaara's KI, Alice walked a few more steps before stopping beside Kin. "Hey."

The girl jumped slightly in surprise before wheeling on Alice. "You-!"

"Again, hi there, Kin." Not minding the shout (courtesy of Kin) had attracted Dosu's attention from where he stood on Kin's other side, Alice leant forward to rest her forearms on the railing, eyes trailing after the procession of medics that were finishing taking Zaku out on a stretcher. "…Zaku doesn't look too good, does he?"

There was a sound of assent from Dosu. "The idiot got cocky and the Aburame brat took advantage of that. But yes, I believe having your arm plugged up by chakra-eating bugs would make oneself slightly injured."

A smile curved up Alice's lips as she listened to the male's bland tone of talking about his teammate. "Are you concerned for him? At all?"

"It's his own fault," Kin scoffed and brushed her long brown hair out of her eyes. "If I was him, I would never lose to some tree-hugger brat."

"You already have though," stated Dosu.

The female Oto-nin's face flushed with anger and she turned on him, fists clenched. "Shut up, Dosu! It was a lucky shot, okay?! The stupid pink-haired bitch got lucky!"

"Whatever you say."

"Tch, that's right, back out when you get scared."

Dosu didn't bother to give Kin a reply, he was too busy staring up at the electronic board that was flashing through a jumble of letters. "I wonder who will be next."

"Another Konoha-nin," Alice supplied. "There's so bloody many of them that it wouldn't be statistically right if they weren't in every fight."

"I want to see a match where something _actually _happens," stated Kin when she saw the board flash the two new names 'Misumi Tsurugi against Kankurō.' "I bet this will be boring as bat shit. The Suna-nin looks like a real pussy, doesn't he?" She directed the last bit towards Alice who shrugged non-committedly in reply. "I don't know, he might surprise you." The brunette looked out of the corner of her eye to her right to see said Suna-nin walk past with a look of arrogance plastered on his face. 'Especially when he becomes a great ninja in the future. And you're dead…'

A snort erupted from Kin's nose, but the girl shifted her weight onto one leg, preparing to wait for the battle. "This better be good, or I'm gonna take my frustrations out on whatever brat I get my hands on in battle."

"I'll root for you," was all Alice said.

* * *

Standing on the tips of his toes in order to look over the heads of his fellow genin, Naruto looked anxiously at Alice's spiky head of hair that was next to a head of long brown hair belonging to a female, and another one that was bandaged. "What is Alice-nee doing with those freaky Oto-nin?!"

"I don't know," replied Sakura as she looked over Naruto's shorter head. "But I'm prepared to go and bust some heads if they try and do anything to her."

"Yeah!" Naruto wobbled forward, tipping over from the strain of standing on his tiptoes, but quickly caught himself. "It looks like they're just talking or something. What the hell's up with that?"

Absently slapping the blond's spiky hair down so she could see, Sakura didn't realise that she and Naruto were painting a scene of a brother-sister bond. Something that caught the eye of many people.

"I thought Sakura hated Naruto," Chōji commented to Shikamaru as he watched the pink-haired girl lean onto Naruto to look at something. "Why's she acting…nice to him?"

"Does Forehead like Naruto-baka now?" Ino asked scathingly before suddenly brightening up. "That means she's giving up Sasuke-kun! Haha, yes! This is the greatest moment of my life!" The blonde continued to cackle madly to herself, not noticing that Shikamaru and Chōji were trying to discreetly edge away from her.

"Ino," Asuma said warningly. "Didn't we talk about laughing madly in public?"

The young girl had the decency to blush slightly and stop her laughter. "Yes, Asuma-sensei. I won't do it again, Asuma-sensei."

"Ah, the energy of young kids," said Kakashi in a bland tone of voice as he poofed onto the scene, flipping a page of his ever-present book, the tone completely contradictory to his bright words.

"Careful there, Kakashi," warned Asuma, "you're starting to sound like Gai there." The man paused and began to glance around, as if expecting the mad man to jump out if nowhere.

"You're all troublesome," Shikamaru said, ignoring Ino's indignant protest that 'she was _not _troublesome you sloth!' "Can we just watch these troublesome battles and go home? I really want a nap right now."

* * *

"Winner! Kankurō!"

Alice nudged the girl next to her playfully with her elbow. "See? Maybe he wasn't such a loser after all."

Kin put her nose up in answer. "I said that he _looked _like a pussy, not that he was one."

"Touché," Alice complied, watching Kankurō wrap up Karasu in its bandages before placing it in its rightful place on his back. The Suna-nin didn't even seem apologetic that he had just crushed his opponent's bones. In fact, he almost seemed bored. "Well, we still have a long way to go. This is only the third match and we have another eight matches to go."

"I was just thinking about that," Dosu said solemnly. "There is an odd number of people, so who shall verse the person who doesn't have an opponent?"

Alice hummed before answering. "They'll probably redraw from the pool of winners. It won't be fair, but also won't be biased. It will be a luck-of-the-draw battle that pits a fresh person against an already battle-weary person. Actually, I've changed my mind." Alice wrinkled her nose and patted Akemi's head soothingly when the snake roused. "This is not fair at all."

"Could the next contestants come down?" Hayate called up to the remaining contestants. "Ino Yamanake and Haruno Sakura?"

A snigger came out of Kin's mouth. "Hot damn, cat fight it is! This will be that good!"

"I agree," Dosu chipped in. "It will be highly amusing to see two females fight, and friends at that, if I guess correctly."

"Kind of," agreed Alice as she looked across to where a conflicted Sakura was being comforted by Naruto and encouraged by Kakashi. "They were best friends, but they are now rivals. A lot of past tension will come to head from this."

"Tension?" Smirked Kin. "Like, say, sexual tension?"

Alice grinned and wiggled her eyebrows suggestibly at Kin. "Kinky. Hate sex is always the best."

* * *

Worrying her bottom lip nervously, Sakura peeked behind her to see Ino's grave face fixated at a spot that only she could see. Shortly, at another call from Hayate, the blonde snapped out of it and put on a cocky smirk, hands going to her waist as she directed the look towards Sakura. "Are you ready to be beaten, Forehead?"

Instead of flinching at the determined look like she may have once done, Sakura stood up straighter, her face becoming a picture of determination. "I would not think so little of me, Ino. I may surprise you."

Ino simply scoffed and brushed past, heading towards the stairs to their left, the only other stairs either than the one near Alice and the Oto-nin. "We'll see, Forehead."

"Are you sure you're alright, Sakura-chan?" asked Naruto, hovering anxiously beside his teammate. "She was your friend, after all."

Smiling reassuringly at her blond, Sakura began to walk towards the stairs. "I'm sure, Naruto. If I beat her here, I can prove to myself that I really have become a true kunoichi." The pinkette went to continue but found a hand grasping her forearm wouldn't let her. "You can't head down 'til you give me a hug for good luck, Sakura-chan."

Rolling her eyes, Sakura turned around and complied, squeezing Alice tightly, just above the coiled Akemi so that she wouldn't squish the sleepy snake. "You're the one who said that we don't need luck, Alice."

A nervous chuckle sounded above Sakura as Alice's arms wrapped around her. "I did? Ah well, you have the luck of the Irish on your side with my blessing. You'll win for sure!"

Sakura ducked out of the hug, dismissing the strange word – Irish? What was that? – before giving her and Naruto a wave and heading down the steps with a determined bounce in her movements. 'I won't lose! Not here. Not to Ino. Not to anyone! I _will _prove that I'm a strong kunoichi! I _will _prove that I deserve my spot on Team Seven!'

**(A/N: Are y'all ready to rumble?! It's the showdown that you (may have) been waiting for!)**

Keeping her steps smooth and steady, Sakura walked to the middle of the stone arena, stopping to face a determined looking Ino. Taking a deep breath, Sakura reached her arms up and back, fingers fumbling with the knot of her headband.

"What are you doing, forehead?"

Sakura didn't reply, too busy taking off her headband from its usual place. She placed it against her forehead and pulled it back tight, tying off the ends with a satisfying snap.

"Forehead?"

Eyes blazing with a fire Ino had never seen, Sakura stood up to her full height and looked Ino directly in the eyes. "When we were younger, Ino, do you remember our promise?"

The blonde was confused, but the way Sakura was wearing her headband begun to bring up old memories. "Is this what this is about, Sakura? You just want to prove that you're past me?"

"No." Sakura brushed back her bangs and flicked her long braid over her shoulder. "This is about me proving to myself that I am a strong kunoichi. This isn't about you, Ino. It never was. I'm here to perform to my best. I'm here to show all that I have and more." The pink-haired girl dropped down into a ready stance, right fist held in front of her face, at the ready. "I'm here to show my allegiance to Konoha! I'm here to prove my will of fire!"

Startled, Ino simply stared at her old friend as cheers erupted from the balcony; Alice and Naruto shouting out at how proud they were of their friend.

"Are the two contestants ready?" Hayate looked to either girl; one wearing a headband properly and a fiery expression on her face, the other wearing hers around her waist like a little girl's accessory and a shell-shocked expression plastered across her fair face. 'This will be a bloodbath…'

A bit out reply of yes came from Sakura almost straight away. There was a pause before Ino nodded in answer, shifting her body into one of a fighting position.

"Well then, I declare this match to…begin!" Hayate slashed one of his hands through the air and quickly leapt back so that he wasn't in the way.

Not giving Ino any room to move, Sakura burst forward, left fist swinging as she came.

Ino stumbled back to avoid it, sloppily dodging the next two furious punches before attempting a jab back.

Sakura's hand caught it and easily used the momentum behind it to sling Ino over her shoulder and into the ground. There was an unforgiving thud as Ino's shoulder and upper back hit the ground, a cry escaping the blonde's lips as she wrenched her arm out of Sakura's grip, tumbling away to stand up a few metres behind her opponent.

"Don't take me so lightly, Ino." Relaxing her posture, Sakura turned around to face the blonde, facial expression now angry. "I am not that little girl who was scared of her own shadow. I'm a kunoichi that's ready to lay her life down for her village. So, again, I'm here to prove my will of fire! Now show me yours, Ino!" The last bit came out as a yell that propelled Sakura into action, her body swinging and leaping into a roundhouse kick that Ino hurriedly ducked under.

"Are you sure you're not that little girl,fForehead!" Ino huffed out a ragged breath as she chased after Sakura, her feet kicking up puffs of dust as she did. "You may have changed your hair and attitude, but you can't change who you are!" Angrily, Ino threw herself into the next combo of punches, Sakura dodging or blocking them with her forearms. "People _can _change, Ino! Anybody can if they wake up and see what's really out there!"

"And what's out there?" said Ino scathingly, disengaging from the fray and leaping back a few paces to draw a kunai from her pouch. "Have you found yourself, forehead? Are you sure that you're not just putting this tough girl act on for Sasuke-kun?"

A growl escaped Sakura's throat and she tugged one of her own kunai out to throw at Ino, quickly following up by dashing towards her with another kunai drawn. "Not everything is about boys, Ino! Maybe if you woke up, then you would see that the world doesn't revolve around Sasuke!"

"Oh?" Ino parried one of Sakura's swipes and lunged forward with one of her own. "No kun anymore? And Sasuke-kun is one of the greatest males that Konoha has to offer, he is impor-!"

"No he's not!" Sakura's fist slipped through the fight of steel, smashing into Ino's face and sending her stumbling back. "I've seen outside Konoha, Ino. And let me tell you, Sasuke doesn't add up to anything out there! We fought an A-class nin, Zabuza Momochi, and Sasuke wasn't the one who took him down! It was Kakashi-sensei. It's people like our senseis that add up to anything in ths world. You have to _earn _your respect! You have to work yourself to the _bone_ in order to get _anywhere_ in this world!" Sakura advanced on the stunned Ino, jade eyes blazing. "You have to _bleed_ and _kill _just to get a _name_! So, Ino, if Sasuke-_kun _is so great, then where is his respect for other people? His scars? His will of fire?"

Lashing out at Sakura, Ino forced the girl's advancement to halt as she blocked the hasty punch. "Shut up, Sakura! You don't know anything!"

"I may not know much," growled out Sakura, shoving Ino back with her arms. "But I'm prepared to bleed, admit my mistakes and learn. I am prepared to do anything to protect my team and village. What are you prepared to do, Ino?"

Righting herself after her stumble back, Ino glared at Sakura, a deep burning sensation churning in her gut, making itself known. "I'm prepared to do anything! I'll show you!" Gripping a kunai and pulling it out of its pouch, Ino grabbed her long ponytail in her left hand and slashed through it with her right hand that was holding the kunai. "See?! I'm prepared to do anything!" Angrily, Ino tossed the wad of hair, Sakura and the silent observers watching the delicate strands flutter to the ground.

A tense silence followed as Ino's chest heaved and Sakura stared dully at the golden locks that curled around her feet.

"…That's it?"

Shocked, Ino's left foot slid back. "W-what?!"

"That's it?" Sakura said plainly, her eyes drifting from Ino's hair to the girl's face. "That's your sacrifice? That's all you're offering? _That's _your will of fire, Ino?" The pink-haired girl shook her head, disappointed, her long braid swaying into view from behind her back.

"Shut up, Sakura!" The scream passed from Ino's lips and startled many people watching. "Look at you then! Your long hair! It's still long for Sasuke-kun! You _still _haven't given up your crush, have you! So don't go around pointing fingers at _me _when you're just lying about yourself!"

Slightly amused, Sakura fingered her braided pink hair. "…You think this is for _Sasuke_?"

"Yes," huffed Ino, crossing her arms over her chest defensively and turning her head away. "Why else would you change your hairstyle?"

A smile came over Sakura's face when she looked up to meet Alice's equally as amused eyes. "Actually, Ino, I did this because a _friend _said it suited me. She said it made me look older, more assured of myself. And I thought, 'if I look like I'm confident in myself, maybe I'll _become _confident in myself, over time.' And so, I did my hair like this, to remind myself of promises I've made and new bonds I've created." Sakura's gaze turned to Naruto and Kakashi, both of which were watching her. Naruto; with adoration and pride in his eyes. Kakashi; an indecipherable look that glimmered with pride and hope. "This is my way of honouring them."

A movement caught her eyes and Sakura smiled as Alice blew a kiss towards her, mouthing '_I love you Sakura-chan.'_

The girl nodded to Alice before turning back to Ino, her bright eyes turning to flint. "I'd love to get all of our feelings out on the table and out of the way, Ino, but I don't think the other genin would like that very much. So," mockingly, Sakura brought her right hand up in a beckoning gesture. "Come at me like you mean it!"

"Ne, Alice-nee?' Naruto bumped the brunette with his shoulder as he watched Sakura beckon Ino forward, kunai drawn at the ready. "Didn't Sakura-chan just start wearing her hair like that at these exams? I don't know where she's getting this idea of a friend telling her to do her hair like that, 'cause I'm one of Sakura-chan's teammates and I would've known if she had changed her hairstyle!"

"You're so cute Naruto-chan," laughed Alice, ruffling the shorter boy's hair. "I told Sakura-chan to wear her hair like that, silly. It was after a day of training that I told her that."

* * *

_~Flashback~_

_A deep grunt of air escaped Alice's throat as she took a punch right to her sternum. The girl stumbled back at the impact and quickly held a hand up as she gasped for breath, signalling to stop._

"_Are you tired already, Alice?" Sakura asked teasingly as she tiredly made her way over to her current sparring partner. "I thought you were stronger than that."_

"_S-shut up…" wheezed out Alice as she rubbed her sore chest. "…I'm only allowed to defend…and your punches hurt like hell."_

"_Aww," demurred Sakura, "you make me blush, Alice." She reached the brunette and silently offered her arm, smiling when Alice leant on her shoulder and staggered across with her to a nearby stone in the training ground they were currently at. Sakura had suggested extra taijutsu training and Alice was only too happy to join her, yelling about how she would finally get to spend time with a female who wasn't insane._

_(She had then promptly ducked into a ball and cowered, expecting her female sensei to come swinging in with a bunch of explosive notes armed and ready. But she hadn't. Yet…)_

_Alice slumped on the cool grass at the stones base, Sakura climbing over her to sit on top of the rather large stone itself. They sat there in companionable silence for a while, the only noises being the rustling of trees, both Alice's and Sakura's laboured breathing, and faraway sounds of forest animals._

_The thing that broke that silence was the rustle of Alice's clothes as she reached up to take her side ponytail out, although most of it had already come out in her and Sakura's fight._

"_Hey, Alice," Sakura began, curiously staring at the tangled mass of brown hair below her. "Why do you always wear your hair like that?"_

"_I could ask you the same thing," Alice shot back easily, fingers raking through snarls in her hair. "But as you're asking, this is really the only thing I can do either than a normal ponytail. And when I wear high ponytails – I refuse to have low ponytails because they look dorky on me – my head hurts from wearing it after a while. And it falls out quicker that way."_

_Sakura stared blankly. "…So you're telling me that, you, a female at that, can't even do her own hair?"_

_Alice's arms stiffened in their movement of untangling and her voice was sulky when she answered. "Is there are problem with that?"_

"_Yes-no-well…" Sakura fiddled with her hair that was in its usual form of being loose. "It's just that; girls normally know how to do their hair, you know?"_

"_No," Alice said shortly. "I don't know. And I'm guessing that it's also bad that I don't know how to do makeup then."_

"_Really?" Sakura asked disbelievingly. "You're nearly fifteen and you don't know how to put on makeup?"_

"_Well, I know how to put concealer and blush on," said Alice sheepishly. "And lipstick and lip-gloss. But I have no clue how to use eyeliner or mascara. Let alone eye shadow and combining the whole shazzam together."_

"_You aren't a female," Sakura deadpanned. "Literally. I'm not even joking."_

_Scowling, Alice slapped the girl's leg half-heartedly, "how kind of you, Sakura-chan."_

_Sakura rolled her eyes but begun to gather Alice's hair in her hands. "Here, I'll show you how to plait, and then we can go on from there." The girl didn't wait for an answer, her fingers already dividing Alice's hair into three and beginning to weave them together. She begun to monologue what she was doing, only stopping to smack Alice's head when she nodded in answer._

_Tying off the neat plait with a snap of a hairband, Sakura flicked Alice's fringe to the side, "done! How is it?"_

"_Good," murmured Alice, fingering the long tail of hair. "You know, this reminds me so much of my days at school, with my friends. Two of my friends always liked doing my hair in intricate braids since I couldn't do it for myself, and I always liked them doing it." The brunette spoke quietly, reminiscing old memories. "I miss them…"_

_Shifting nervously on the stone, Sakura stared down at the sad girl at her feet. The silence was slightly uncomfortable and Sakura had no clue what to say. "…Alice?"_

"_Hm?" Emerald eyes looked at Sakura quizzically as Alice turned around. "What is it, Sakura?"_

"_Do you want to try on my hair?"_

_A smile graced Alice's lips and she nodded. "I'll try my best!" The two girls swapped spots and Sakura instructed Alice on how to plait, her directions being received and undertaken by the concentrating girl._

"_Did it!" Alice grinned at her slightly sloppy and incredibly loose plait that she had just finished in Sakura's hair. "Not good, but not bad, either. Mediocre I'd say."_

_Sakura fingered the plait before rolling her eyes. "Good try Alice, but I thought I told you to keep the top tight!"_

"_Sorry!" Alice wrinkled her nose," it's just so hard!"_

"_Whatever you say," demurred Sakura as she undid the plait and did it back up again in record time, much neater and tighter than Alice's. She swept her bangs to their respective sides before looking up at Alice. "Did you see how I did it?"_

_Instead of replying, Alice had a pensive look on her face._

_Waving her hand in front of the brunette's face, Sakura called her name. "Alice?"_

"_You look beautiful like that, Sakura-chan."_

_A blush instantly bloomed over Sakura's face, colouring it the same colour of her hair. "Y-you think?"_

"_I know." Alice said it so assuredly that Sakura smiled. "Thanks, Alice."_

"_Don't mention it!" Alice waved off the thanks and tugged on Sakura's plait. "You look like a real warrior like this. Older, and more confident looking. I think you should wear it like this more often."_

"_Oh?" Sakura fiddled with the hem of her red dress. "I guess so…"_

_Alice gave her the thumbs up and a massive grin that split her face nearly in half. "You better believe it! You can wear it for the Chunin exams and totally rock the competition! Believe it!"_

"_That sounds like some stupid thing Naruto would say! Stop saying it!"_

"_Never! Believe it!"_

_-Flashback end-_

* * *

Ino and Sakura stood facing one another, the only movement being the slight twitch of their limbs and the fluttering of Ino's hair that lay across the floor. Sakura went to move, but found her legs immobile. She opened her mouth to speak, tried to move her arms, her torso, anything! But she wouldn't even twitch anymore.

"Oh," Ino smirked, "I see you've realised that you've been caught in my web of hairs. How do you like that, Sakura?"

'**CHA! I'LL KICK YOUR ASS, INO-PIG! YOU SOUND LIKE A CREEPY SPIDER WITH THAT MONOLGUE, SO I'LL SQUISH YOU LIKE THE PEST YOU ARE!'**

Unfortunately, Sakura couldn't move to enact her Inner's biddings. Her eyes were the only thing that could move, and they darted to her feet where Ino's hair was glowing a faint blue as they wrapped around her feet. Only now could Sakura feel the foreign chakra in her system and she hurriedly tried to disrupt her chakra like she normally would do for a genjutsu, but it didn't work at all.

'Damn it! I didn't go this far to be stopped by Ino of all people!' If Sakura could move, her teeth would've been trying to grind each other into a fine powder.

"You're mine now, Sakura." The smirk on Ino's face changed to one of smugness as she lifted her hands up into a handsign that Sakura was familiar with. "I'll just put you out of your misery right now. No need to embarrass yourself any more than necessary." Her hands were joined together in a circle that was aimed directly at Sakura's frozen face, and she finally spoke the words that would spell Sakura's doom.

"**Shintenshin no jutsu."**

As Ino's body slumped in a boneless to the ground, the hairs holding Sakura's body still fell to the ground, the chakra that had been controlling them was gone. For a millisecond, Sakura saw her chance at freedom and moved to leap out of the way, but suddenly her body jerked.

A hush had fallen and all eyes were on Sakura's body as its feet spread themselves apart, head bowed to the ground.

"What did Ino do to Sakura-chan?" whispered Naruto as he leant over the railing, eyes solidly staring at his teammate. "Why isn't she doing anything? And why's Ino unconscious?"

"It's Ino's secret clan jutsu," inputted Shikamaru as he stepped up to stand beside Naruto, also staring down at Sakura's body. "Her mind literally flies through the air and goes into her target's body, overtaking their mind, and therefore, their body." He let out a sigh and cupped his face tiredly in his left hand. "There's nothing Sakura can do. Ino's won."

Naruto begun to protest, shouting out that 'Sakura-chan would never give up like that!' but it was Alice's perfectly calm face that alerted Shikamaru to the fact that his teammate might not win.

'Troublesome, she knows something.' Shikamaru snorted softly to himself. 'Like always…'

"So that's Ino in Sakura-chan's body?" Naruto pointed down to the pink-haired girl who had just raised her head to reveal a self-assured smirk.

"Yup," Alice said happily. "Now let's watch Ino-chan get wrecked by Sakura-chan, shall we?"

"Yeah!" Naruto grinned and hollered down to the girl who was beginning to raise her hand. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING, SAKURA-CHAN?! ARE YOU JUST GOING TO LOSE LIKE THIS?! THAT'S NOTHING LIKE YOU! SO FIGHT, SAKURA-CHAN, FIGHT BACK! WE BELIEVE IN YOU!"

"DAMN STRAIGHT WE DO!" joined in Alice, cupping her mouth to amplify her already loud voice (much too some people's annoyance. Why didn't ninjas act like ninjas anymore?) "INNER CAN TAKE HER EASILY! IT'S JUST YOU WHO NEEDS TO DEFEAT HER OUT HERE!"

Scowling, Ino glared up at Sakura's annoying friends before turning to Hayate who was standing nearby patiently. "Proctor, I-"

"**OI! DON'T COUNT ME OUT SO EASILY!"**

Ino gasped and grabbed her head, a demonic sounding shout reverberating around her head, the voice sounding uncannily like Sakura…But that couldn't be right, Sakura's consciousness _and _subconsciousness was subdued. Wasn't it?

"**CHA! AS IF A LITTLE PIGGY LIKE YOU COULD COMPLETELY BLOCK OFF ME! SAKURA'S MIND IS THE GREATEST OF HER AGE AND YOU BETTER BE DAMN SURE THAT SHE'LL HAVE EXTRA PRECAUTIONS IN HERE!"**

In Sakura's mind, Ino's body was manifested into a spectral form, but she wasn't alone anymore. A wrathful looking – and slightly comical if it was under different circumstances and Ino wasn't ready to pee her pants – Sakura loomed up out of the abstract swirl that was Sakura's mindscape. She towered over Ino and leered scarily at the girl. **"My, my, my, what an ugly little piggy we have here. We better round it up and send it back to the farm it comes from." **A massive hand easily scooped Ino up and held her up to – what could only be – Inner's face – judging by the useful calligraphy on the monster's head that stated _**Inner**_.

"W-what the hell are you?!" Ino squeaked as she tried to wriggle out of the giant hands grip. "What is Sakura?!"

"**Your worst nightmare," **grinned Inner ghoulishly before swinging the arm back with Ino in it. **"Here comes the fastball! SHANNARO!" **She flung her arm forward and watched with great satisfaction as the screaming blonde went sailing across the mindscape before disappearing with a gleam. **"Strike! Batter out!"**

Hayate looked at the trembling form of Sakura that was grabbing her head, eyes screwed up in pain. "Well, are you going to forfeit?"

"C'MON SAKURA-CHAN!" Came the duel cheer from Alice and Naruto.

And that seemed to do it.

Sakura's body arched before relaxing, sharp jade eyes peeking out from underneath the Konoha headband. "Tch, no way am I giving up when I only just started." The pink-haired girl looked across expectantly at Ino's body, and she wasn't disappointed.

With a sharp gasp, Ino's body bolted upright and the girl's scared blue eyes bore into Sakura's hard jade ones. The blonde trembled and shuttered as she stood, eyes never leaving Sakura's as she stood up. "W-what the hell are you?!"

Sakura's lips twitched up. She was so tempted to answer as her Inner did with 'you're worst nightmare,' but that just felt like she was ripping off her other persona.

'**Damn straight it is!'**

So, instead, she tilted her head to the side and smiled. "Me? I'm what you might call an organised mind."

Ino shuddered again before answering. "You're a freak, that's what!"

"Don't talk about Sakura-chan like that!" Naruto yelled down angrily, interrupting the monologue. "_You're _the freak!"

Glaring at him, Ino drew herself up to her full height and went to go and complain about Sakura's loud teammates to her, but found an arm outstretched and slamming into her windpipe in an unforgiving clothesline. "Urk!"

"No time for talking," Sakura chastised in a patronising tone as she whirled around and kicked the choking blonde in the back, sending the girl sprawling forward. "It's time for action, Ino!"

"This is going to be a bloodbath!" Alice said excitedly as she leaned over the railing to get a better look at Sakura and Ino's fight. "Oh man, thank you Kami for cat fights. They're the best!"

Asuma stared at the girl before looking over to Kakashi who was standing next to him, eyes trained on the fight rather than the book that lay open in his hands. "What the hell is wrong with your students, Kakashi?"

"Maa," the man eye-smiled as he turned to Asuma. "I can't take full credit, she and Anko share in that."

"Oh, yeah," Asuma said faintly. "I forgot that Anko trained her. Did she also train your pink-haired kunoichi?"

"No," replied Kakshi easily. "Why?"

Asuma coughed uncomfortably and pointed down at the fight. "Because it seems that your female student knows how to somewhat do Hebi style."

Kakashi's one visible eye barely widened and he begun to study Sakura's movements as Ino shook off her clothesline and advanced towards her.

As Ino lunged and spun into several kicks, Sakura didn't raise her arms or legs to defend or deflect the blows. Instead, she twisted her body in ways that had become very familiar to Kakashi.

"Alice…"

Said girl tore her eyes away from the fight in order to look back at her part-time sensei, eyes gleaming knowingly. "Yes, Kakashi-sensei?"

"Don't give me that," the jōnin replied. "Did you teach Sakura some of the Hebi style? And answer me truthfully."

"Maybe~" the girl smiled sweetly and laughed as she turned back to the fight.

"Okay," Kakashi glanced over to Asuma, "I have to admit; my students _are _kind of weird." He didn't wait for answer, instead, studying Sakura's movements with a critical eye.

She didn't have the same fluid motions that Anko had, or that Alice was beginning to develop, but she had the basics down and was quite able to dodge majority of Ino's attacks, simply blocking the punches that managed to slip through her defence.

"Why won't you fall already?!" Ino screamed, desperately smashing her fists against Sakura's forearms. "Just fall unconscious! Damn it!"

"Not until I have proved myself," Sakura replied solidly, none of the panic that Ino felt showing on her face. The pink-haired bent backwards, hair brushing the ground as one of Ino's high kicks headed for her face. Thinking quickly, Sakura's hands shot up to grab Ino's leg that was still solid on the ground, and she _tugged_.

There was a shriek as Ino jerked back, her arms flailing madly as she did so. Sakura rolled to the side to avoid the whirling limbs and stood upright, but was surprised when a fist slammed into her solar plexus, oxygen coming out of her mouth in a rush as she did. The pinkette tried not to lean forward, doubled over, as that would be easily taken advantage off, but the attempt proved fruitless as Ino's leg swept up in a vicious snap kick.

Spitting, Sakura stumbled back, thin trickles of blood dribbling out of her mouth where the painful kick to the chin had made her bite her tongue almost in two. The girl retched and stuck her severed tongue out, several gasps and fellow retches coming from the other genin.

"SAKURA-CHAN!" The worried shout came from Naruto, who was staring in horror at his long-time crushes's bloody appendage.

"Oh Kami…" Ino breathed as Sakura's bloody and dangling tongue spewed out of the other girl's mouth, only the ends holding it together. Ino's stomach rolled at the sight of the already swollen and bloody tongue. "Oh Kami…"

Up on the balcony, Alice was repeating the same thing, shocked as to how this fight had panned out.

'I expected Sakura to just win! Not for Ino to kick her fucking tongue off!'

_Well, as they say, expect the unexpected…_

Alice started at the voice of her tenant that had been mysteriously absent for the past day. 'Shingami-sama? You're still alive in there?'

_Funny. Now stop your worrying, it's giving me a headache in here. Sakura will be fine, she learnt medical chakra for a reason, didn't she?_

Emerald eyes lit up in excitement and relief at this answer, and watched with bated breath as Sakura's hands rose up to her tongue, hands glowing a green that was just shades lighter than her own eye colour.

Surprisingly, Sakura was one of the only calm people in the room. The pain registered in her mind, and it took a valiant effort to not scream out at the incredible pain that overcame her in a tidal wave, but she let the pain go over her head, accepting it before continuing on with what she was attempting to do. The tongue was already beginning to swell when she spat it out, the blood leaving a metallic taste as it filled up her mouth.

She spat again, this time to get some of the bountiful fluid out of her mouth. The blood splattered and stood out against the stone floor, but Sakura ignored that in order to shakily channel chakra to her hands and beginning to convert it to medical chakra.

When her hands begun to glow a familiar shade of green, Sakura lifted them up to place them softly on her tongue, wincing when they made contact with the incredibly sensitive tear in it.

'I may not be able to heal all of it, or do the delicate things like tastebuds,' Sakura thought as she closed her eyes in concentration. 'But I can make it fixable and numb it so I can't feel any pain.'

'**Then we can finally finish off Ino-pig!' **Inner cheered, throwing wild punches in Sakura's head. **'Let's go already!'**

Brushing her fingers over the healed tongue – although a large part of it was now disturbingly flat as it had no tastebuds on it – Sakura numbed the pain she felt.

She could feel Ino's shocked gaze on her as she took her hands out her mouth and stuck her tongue back in, cringing internally at the odd, numb sensation. Sakura wiped her bloody hands on her red dress, dying the material several shades darker, before wiping off the trails of blood on her chin.

"S-sakura?" the startled squeak had come from Ino, who was staring at her like she had never seen the pink-haired girl before. "How'd you do that?"

Said girl shrugged in answer, tongue unable to move, but quickly dropped the casual attitude in order to rush at Ino, who was still too shocked to do anything.

All Ino felt was a sharp pain at her temple before darkness fell over her.

Calmly, Sakura twirled the kunai she had used to slam against Ino's head and tucked it back into her ninja pouch. It had been lengthy, but she had finally defeated her old rival.

"…Winner, Haruno Sakura."

* * *

**Well…that was different than expected, but I hope it was enjoyable! I also apologize for the disorientating switches in location and position, but I hope that you could at least follow it.**

**Now, it may not be my birthday, but it's coming up in the next week, so I thought that I'd do my first Omake as a celebration that I can share with you guys. **

**So, Alice will be around a week older than me, and this is kind of what I'd imagine a birthday would be like if you had retarded friends like Team Seven. Or a sensei like Anko. This won't be set at any specific time, so just ignore the fact that I currently have the Chunin exams going on. Ja, here it is!**

* * *

**Interlude 1: Balloons are gonna pop**

* * *

**Disclaimer: **_The same shebang as usual…_

**Warning: **_Drunkenness (but who doesn't like that?!), preppy – and incredibly cliché – American high school girl talk, a strange case of mood swings (along with sexual innuendo and obvious flirting), and a severe case of randomness added with uncomfortable situations. Enjoy!_

* * *

**Alice P.O.V.**

"Nee-chan, pleeeeaaaasssseeeeee!" I went to take another breath for another please, but found a slightly sticky hand covering my face.

"Fine, you annoying gaki, you can have some of my dango." Anko took her syrupy hand away from my face and replaced it with a delicious looking stick of dango. "But why the fuck are you asking for one now? This isn't the first time I've brought dango to training."

"Nor will it be the last," I finished for her as I plopped down on the grass outside of our super-secret training area, staring up at the starry sky above me. "But…tomor-today," I corrected myself as I noted the position of the moon. "Is a special day."

"Oh?" Anko sounded interested as she lounged on a nearby tree branch. "And what might be so special about today, gaki?"

"I'm fifteen," I grinned. "How 'bout that?"

Anko put on a fake gasp that sounded like one of those uncaring preppy girls from high school. "No way! That's so awesome!" She attempted to put on a chirpy voice, but it failed slightly due to the fact she had a low, husky voice like my own.

"Nah, nee-chan," I said, waving my half-eaten stick of dango around. "It's more like this." I raised my voice a few octaves and put on an American drawl before adding some short squeals at the end of my sentences. "It's, like, totally my birthday tomorrow! I'm going to throw, like, the biggest party of the century and we're, like, totally going to sneak some booze in and stuff!"

The snort of laughter that came from Anko made me lose my concentration and I dissolved into several unattractive snorts of my own. "Weird ass bitches and their likes…"

A thud made me look over to Anko who had dropped out of her tree, not caring about how much noise she made, unlike every day. "Well, since you didn't tell me jack-shit about your birthday and I ain't getting you a present, we'll just have to do something else that I'm sure you'll like." Anko's eyes gleamed as headed for the squat building that I always woke up in when she captured me for training. "I know I do…"

I stood up, interest piqued, and followed after her. "What are we going to do, Anko-nee?"

"We're going to have a drink and get you sloshed!"

* * *

**3****rd**** Person P.O.V.**

Naruto glared angrily at his male teammate, or rival, as he preferred. "Teme…don't act so calm about this!"

Coolly, Sasuke turned his dark gaze on Naruto from his slumped position against a tree in their training ground. "Dobe, she's done this before. Plenty of times."

"I know, Sasuke-kun," said Sakura quietly nearby. "But doesn't Alice usually leave a note to tell you where she's going?"

"Yeah! Yeah!" Naruto hopped up and down nervously and fixed his glare onto Sasuke again. "Alice-nee wouldn't just turn up two hours late for training without a note! She never comes late!"

"Although," began Sakura, "there was that one time that she and Sasuke-kun came late to training together…"

"Oh yeah," agreed Naruto, oblivious as to how his male teammate had stiffened at the mention of that day. "That was when she had said that she had been busy making out with Sasuke-teme, and that was why they were late."

"Nothing happened!" Sasuke protested, straightening up from where he had been leaning against the tree.

Sakura grinned knowingly at him. "We never agreed that anything had _actually _happened, Sasuke-kun."

The dark-haired boy had opened his mouth to argue some more, but a large poof of white smoke cut him off.

"Yo!" Kakashi waved the hand that wasn't holding his precious book lazily as he became visible in the aftermath of his shushin. "Sorry I'm late. I saved a young girl from falling to her doom in front of a cart and she tried to repay me with a kiss. So I spent the last two hours trying to shake her off so that she wouldn't catch me, or try and kiss you guys in revenge of my escape since you are my cute little genins and you love me.."

There was silence at this absolutely ludicrous remark before the normal duel yell of 'YOU'RE LATE!' came from Naruto and Sakura.

Kakashi looked around for the girl who would normally laugh and agree with his stupid excuses, but found her absent. He tensed his muscles in preparation for the usual jump that came from the girl when she felt like she had to try and take his mask that day, but there was no flying leap, and there was no scent of her since yesterday.

"Where's Alice?" he asked casually, still sniffing discreetly for the brunette.

"Not here, obviously," said Sasuke grumpily. "Can we just start training already?"

"Woah! Woah!" There was a loud yell from behind Kakashi and he turned around to see where it was coming from, his team stepping to either side of him so that they could see.

"The party don't start 'til I walk in!" Alice was revealed as the shouter, stumbling up the trail that led to Konoha towards them. "Didn't your-" There was a hiccup here and Alice spun in a circle, eyes unfocused, before continuing on. "Mothers…teach you manners?"

"Are…" Sasuke stared at her incredulously as she stopped, swaying slightly, in front of them. "Are you drunk?!"

Team Seven and Kakashi could only watch in shock as Alice's cloudy eyes rested on Sasuke and an uncanny smile crossed her face. "Sasuke…!" The girl stumbled forward unsteadily, giggling as she did, in order to crush Sasuke in a hug. "Don't be sad Sasuke! You have so much to live for! Don't be an emo anymore! Come join us in the light, you vampire!"

"W-what the hell?!" Sasuke struggled in the girl's grip, arms pinned against her stomach and his neck clutched by her arms. "Get off of me you crazy bitch!"

Sakura made an odd noise – that sounded suspiciously like a chocked laugh to Sasuke – as Alice began to sniffle and cry. "Waaa~! Sasuke, you're so mean! Why are you always so mean?! Is it 'cause you always have a stick up your ass?"

This time, the odd noise came from Naruto, who had to stuff a fist in his mouth and turn away so that he wouldn't burst out laughing. Sasuke's face was now getting squished against Alice's breasts, although, he hadn't seemed to realise this fact yet.

'Damn you Anko!' Kakashi didn't know whether to laugh or be appalled at his partial-student's actions. Granted, Sasuke's face _was _pretty funny, and he was _definitely _wishing he had a camera right now, but Alice was only fourteen and drunker than Anko on her Saturday night outings. 'Well,' Kakashi thought, 'at least she hasn't passed out yet.'

The wailing girl continued to clutch the choking and protesting Sasuke to her chest, ignoring Sakura's attempts to placate her and to get her to release her teammate. "C'mon, Alice! Let him go and then we'll get you to bed. My medical books say that sleeping is the best things you can do when you're drunk, either than drinking water."

"Bed?" Alice slurred hazily, tears instantly drying as she tried to focus her gaze on Sakura. "I like my bed. But I don't like the one Sasuke's given me. The couch is cold~!" She mewled the last bit, beginning to sniffle again.

"You can sleep in teme's bed then!" Shouted Naruto, composed after choking down his laughs. "I bet his is _real _comfortable!"

"N-no!" Gasped Sasuke. "No way is she taking my bed!"

"YAY!" Cheered Alice, ignoring Sasuke's comments. "Bed! Bed! Bed!"

A hand on her head made her stop cheering so that she could look up with wide eyes. "Eh? Kaka-senseeeiii?" She strung out her vowels and grinned up at the silver-haired man. "When'd you get here?"

"I was always here," Kakashi said calmly, ruffling her hair when the girl frowned. "Now, before you go to Sasuke's bed." He paused in order for Sasuke's yell of, 'NO SHE'S NOT!' to go through before continuing. "Before you go to sleep, I need to tell me how you got drunk."

"Drunk?" Alice giggled and hugged Sasuke tighter, laughing harder at his gagging sounds. "'M not drunk! Me 'n' Anko-neeeee-chaaaan just had som' drinkieeees." The girl swayed and Kakashi prepared to catch her, but she shook her head and continued. "It was a celebration, ya see!"

"Celebrating what?" Kakashi asked patiently.

"Me birthday, silly," Alice crinkled her nose at him. "Baka-sensei!"

"EH?!" Naruto stared at Alice. "Your birthday?! Why didn't you tell us?! Wh-" Sakura's hand that slapped over his mouth silenced him and the girl smiled sweetly at Alice. "How old are you again, Alice?" She figured that in Alice's current state of toxicity and mind, it would be better to treat her like a small child. She seemed like an emotional drunk by her mood swings.

"Um…" Alice chewed on her lips before fumblingly hold up her hands. "Ano…"

As Alice tried to work out what age she was, Sasuke took the prime opportunity to slip out of her grasp, sucking down deep mouthfuls of air as he took several steps away from the crazy girl. 'Safe!'

"I'm…" Alice's fingers wavered up and down before she held up nine of them. "I'm fifteen!"

Naruto began to snicker at her conviction that nine fingers meant fifteen, but quickly straightened when Sakura's elbow dug into his side.

"Okay, Alice, I think it's time for you to go to bed." Kakashi began to look to Sakura or Naruto to take her, but was surprised when Alice began to cling to his arm and whine. "NOOOOO! Scarecrow take me to bed! Scarecrow! Scarecrow!"

Kakashi's stellar hearing could pick up the muffled sniggers of the ANBU's that were always following Alice that was coming from the trees surrounding the training ground. Oh Kami, he was never going to live this down. Not if his old colleagues had anything to do with it.

"Fine," he digressed, "I'll tuck you into bed when we get to Sasuke's place."

Alice yelled in victory before running around Kakashi to leap up onto his tall back. "Piggy back me there, scarecrow-sama!"

'What's up with the changing of names…?' Kakashi wondered as he tucked his arms under Alice's thighs, flinching slightly when the girl laid her head on his right shoulder.

"Have fun Kakashi-sensei," said Naruto with a leer as Kakashi turned to leave. "Don't you dare drop her!"

Sakura slapped him on the arm before waving goodbye to Alice who was tilting her head far back to see them, unknowingly pulling Kakashi down with her. "Bye Alice! Have a good sleep in Sasuke's bed!"

The owner of said bed recovered from his bruised windpipe enough to hear the last remark and bolt towards Kakashi and Alice, intent on stopping them from putting Alice into his bed. It had only happened once and that was after she had found out she had Shingami and was unconscious and injured. She wasn't any of that right now, so he was going to stop her!

Just as he reached out to grab the grinning Alice's dangling foot, she and Kakashi disappeared in a puff of smoke.

'Damn it!' He cursed, picking up the pace and heading towards the trees, deciding that tree hopping was faster to get there.

Naruto and Sakura watched in silence as half of their team disappeared.

"He's so whipped," Naruto snickered.

"Agreed," replied Sakura.

* * *

Deciding against entering normally as there was no time, and deciding that Kakashi had probably already used the window, Sasuke ran up the side of his house using chakra and slid his window open. "Alice!" He swung himself in and landed without a sound onto the wooden floors of his bedroom. "Get of my bed!"

There was a sleepy murmur in answer and Sasuke marched over to his dark-quilted bed in order to pull the shifting form out of it. "Alice! Now!"

He reached the bed and tugged the blankets back viciously, hands clenching the dark quilt as he glared down at Alice. "Wait…" He saw red and white fan printed shorts and a navy t-shirt now on Alice rather than her usual black short-shorts and odd top. "Is that my clothes?!"

Alice mumbled and blearily opened her eyes to stare at the form of Sasuke that occasionally shimmered into two or three. "Sasukes…?"

"There's only one of me," the Uchiha replied irritably, pushing the blankets down further. "Now get out of my bed."

"No."

Taken aback, Sasuke stared at the _pouting _face of Alice. She never pouted! "What do you mean…no?"

"N-O, spells no!" She huffed back, arms tightening around Sasuke's pillow.

"I know that," Sasuke hissed. "Just get of my bed before I make you!"

"Oh?" There was a change in Alice's voice, it was suddenly very dark and husky. "And how are you going to make me, Mr U-chi-ha?" She prolonged each letter of his last name with a low growl.

"What the hell are you doing, Alice?" asked Sasuke, not noting the change in her voice he was so angry. "Stop being such an annoyance and get out."

"Maybe you just want to get in," smirked Alice before her hands shot out and pulled a surprised Sasuke down, arms wrapping around him to pull his upper half to her chest, and her legs tangling in his as she finished getting him onto his bed.

"Ali-!"

Sasuke's confused shout was stopped by a finger to his mouth. Alice grinned at him, opening her mouth to say something when her eyes dropped and her head nodded. Sasuke waited for an answer, but instead, found her head crashing down on his, eliciting a sharp pain from the impact. But still, Alice didn't wake up.

Sasuke struggled, but found himself unable to get out of the brunette's ridiculously strong grip. "How the hell am I meant to get out of here?!"

* * *

**Alice P.O.V.**

Waking up with a pounding headache and a mouth like sandpaper isn't the best thing, thank you very much.

My eyes were bleary and hard to focus, wavering around before finally focusing enough so that I could see what looked like a gloomy Sasuke's room. "Uh? How'd I get here? Is it night time? What the fuck happened? I remember drinking with Anko… " I moaned and pressed a hand to my forehead. "I must've got smashed if I can't remember after the tenth saucer of sake!" I mumbled some more to myself before deciding to maybe get up and do something.

Glancing around to see if there was anyone nearby, I saw the room was in its usual state of absolute cleanliness and monochrome. The only thing that stood out was an orange box that was sitting on Sasuke's bedside table.

Sitting upright and groaning as my head swam, I gulped down a glass of water that had been so kindly left for me on the bedside table before reaching over to pick up the folded slip of paper that was sitting on top of the – now I could see – box that was sloppily wrapped with orange wrapping paper and garnished with a silky red bow.

I stared at it for a moment before unfolding the piece of paper to read what was on it.

The hiragana swam in and out of focus and it took all of mind's capabilities not to throw up and just bloody decipher the thing written in horrific handwriting.

_Hey Alice-nee!  
It's me, Naruto! Dattebayo!  
Anyway, you were still asleep when we came by, so we decided to leave you your present here for you to unwrap. Did you like the wrapping paper? I wrapped it myself, and with orange coz I know you like it just as much as I do! And Sakura-chan supplied the bow. And…Teme didn't do anything, that jerk!_

Here, the messy writing of Naruto broke off into several slash marks that I could only guess that he was fighting with Sasuke at the time of writing this. The next part was written in neater writing, curving across the page in what I believed was Sakura's writing. (That, or Sasuke had really girly handwriting).

_Naruto-baka has gotten off track here, so I'll just tell you where to meet us.  
We've decided to go out for dinner, to celebrate your birthday, and we ended up deciding on that ramen place that you and Naruto like. So, when you wake up, head down here at around eight. _

_Happy birthday Alice(nee!)_

_Love, Sakura._

Underneath, there was a messy _Naruto dattebayo! _And underneath that, a simply printed, _Sasuke._

"Aww," I cooed to myself. "They are the sweetest things!"

Laughing, I shakily crawled out of bed and grinned when my head didn't swim as much. "Oh yeah! Fast metabolism for the win!" I wanted to dance my victory, but that seemed a bit out of my reach. So instead, I snatched up the orange box and gently tugged the red bow from around it.

Dangling the red ribbon in front of me, my memories flashed to a very familiar bow that looked exactly like this. "This isn't…"

Flashbacks of a young Sakura having her hair tied back with a red ribbon by Ino flashed through my mind and I stroked the accessory affectionately. "If this is…thank you, Sakura-chan…"

Placing the ribbon down on the bedside table, I ripped off the orange wrapping paper to reveal a small, wooden photo frame. "No way…"

My own face grinned cheekily up at me, eyes scrunched up as my arms held a smiling Sakura in front of me. Naruto stood to my left, throwing up a peace sign at the camera, his hair ruffled by an eye-smiling Kakashi who held Make Out Paradise in his free hand. Sasuke slouched to my right, not looking like he wanted to be in the picture, but at least he was looking at the camera.

I remembered this day. We had been walking around Konoha; Team Seven was going to head to the Mission Administration so that they could get a new mission and I was going to head for the markets to get that weeks groceries. But along the way, we had been waylaid by a very excited photographer who had asked for a group-shot.

Kakashi had been suspicious of the man and had asked the motives behind it, but the photographer had just said crap about the colours in the group being amazing! And I have to agree, we made the rainbow when we stood together.

So, after much arguing with Sasuke about being _in _the photo, and the photographer trying to convince Kakashi to take his mask off (never going to happen), we took the photo. And it seemed that someone from Team Seven had managed to get a copy from the man.

Smiling, I carefully placed the photo frame onto the rumpled blankets of the bed so that I could untangle my (suspiciously) loose hair and tie the ribbon Sakura had provided around my hair to make it a low, side ponytail.

"I'll head off now since it's already close to eight," I murmured to myself as I glanced at Sasuke's alarm clock that read quarter-to-eight.

As I stood up to head for the window – who goes through doors anymore? – I noticed that I wasn't wearing my usual clothes.

"Huh, when did I change?" I tugged at the navy t-shirt that only went to my mid-riff and was a little bit too tight. "And am I wearing Sasuke's…boxers?"

The black shorts with his clan symbol printed on them sealed the deal. "Yup, I'm going to need some shorts if I go outside. The fan girls will eat me _alive _if they saw me wearing their crushes undergarments." I snickered to myself before going over to Sasuke's chest of drawers to pull out a pair of his usual white shorts.

I was lucky I had a thin waist, or I'd never have gotten them on.

"Thank you mum's skinny genetics!" I looked back at the photo propped up on the bedside table before grinning to myself and opening the window, flinging myself out into the night, not caring that I had forgotten shoes. Again.

* * *

"She better not be late," Sasuke muttered as he sat – unwillingly mind you!—next to Naruto at the bar that you got served at Ichiraku's. Kakashi just hummed to his right, leaning against the wall and reading his porn.

"She'll be here!" Naruto said enthusiastically, making Sasuke's left ear ring with the shout. "Trust me, 'tebayo!"

Sakura rolled her eyes from Naruto's left fondly before perking up. "She's here."

"Hey guys!" Alice came jogging into the scene, left arm waving in greeting. "Sorry I'm a bit late! I woke up a bit too close to eight for my liking, and I had to open the amazing present you guys got me."

Naruto grinned foxily at her as he stood up excitedly. "How cool was it?! Sakura-chan got it from that old dude that took the photo, and Kaka-sensei got the frame. How about that?!"

"It was very cool," agreed Alice before sweeping the blond into an energetic hug that lifted him up off the ground. "Thank you so much!" She released the slightly dazed blond before turning with open arms to Sakura. "Sakura-chan…"

The pinkette smiled before standing up to give Alice a much more subdued hug. "Happy birthday, Alice."

Alice squeezed her slightly in answer before unwrapping her arms from around her. "Kaka-sensei…"

"Hm?" Kakashi feigned disinterest and acted like he had just noticed Alice's presence. "Did you say something, Alice?"

"I'm not Gai!" She punched him softly on the arm before giving him a quick hug. "Thanks so much for everything, Kakashi."

He patted her head softly, slightly uncomfortable, but gave her an eye-smile. "You're very welcome, Alice-chan."

The brunette bounced before spinning around to the dreading Uchiha. "Your turn Sasuke!"

"No." The boy crossed his arms and turned away, glowering.

"Too bad," Alice sang as she hugged him from behind, only tightening her arms when the boy stiffened. "Thanks, Sasuke."

"Hn," was all he said before shoving her off. "Stop being all over us and just sit down already and eat your stupid food."

Alice shrugged before taking a seat next to Sakura, grinning at the two chefs that approached the counter. "Hey Teuchi-jiji! Ayame-nee!"

The father and daughter said their greetings before passing several bowls of ramen out to their respective customers, both Naruto and Alice drooling over their miso. "Eat up, guys! This round is on the house, just for this celebration!" Teuchi winked at Alice and wished her happy birthday alongside Ayame before the two headed to their pots of ramen, preparing for more orders that were guaranteed to come from both Naruto and Alice.

"Thank you guys!" Alice cheered before passing down everyone a pair of chopsticks. "Itadakimasu!"

The others echoed her call to various degrees of excitement before, they too, dug in.

As the others ate, Alice looked at them with fond eyes, chopsticks trailing in her noodles. Her mouth broke into a soft smile which got bigger when Naruto turned his bright blue eyes on her. "What'cha doing, Alice-nee?! Why aren't you eating your ramen?!"

Both Sakura and Sasuke were looking at her now, curious as to why she wasn't attacking one of her favourite meals like usual.

'Just thinking about how much I loved you guys…'

"Just wondering if there's any cake after!"

"Of course there is, Alice-nee! As if we would forget it, dattebayo!"

"Calm down, Naruto! But yes, Alice, there's chocolate cake after."

"Hn, you guys are too loud…And are you wearing my shorts and t-shirt?!"

"I'm also wearing your boxers."

* * *

**HAHAHAHA WHAT THE HELL?!**

**OVER 12, 000 WORDS AND THIS WHAT HAPPENS?! WEIRD ASS SHIT, THAT'S WHAT!**

**So, um, yeah, hope it wasn't too boring or nothing and that you liked it.**

**Ciao.**


	23. Act 4 Part 2: Pop Lock and Drop it

**Wow, is everyone dead or is my writing just really shit? I got 7 reviews for a 12, 000 word chapter. That's real motivation there! **_**Can you hear the sarcasm? 'Cause I meant it!**_

**So, yeah, not feeling appreciated, but thanks to those who reviewed anyways. Love ya!**

* * *

**Disclaimer: **_The psycho chick known as Alice is mine, alongside any weird ass jutsus she pulls out of her ass. Also, _when the beat drop _is credited to whoever created that amazing song. Look up the Naruto AMV online, it's awesome shit._

**Warning: **_Language, yo!_

* * *

**3****rd**** Person P.O.V.**

Sakura was instantly crushed in a duel hug when she got to the top of the stairs. Yells and screams of excitement reached her ears and she winced at the volume. "Guys, calm down. I just won a fight, that's all." The words sounded slightly slurred to her – although she had healed her tongue, it was currently very numb and had no taste buds – and she winced at the reactions that she knew was coming.

The hands holding her close slipped off, Naruto and Alice stepping back to study her for injuries. "You have to go get healed right away, Sakura-chan!" Naruto's uncharacteristically serious face left no room for the pink-haired girl to argue against, and Alice's agreeing nods only added to the weight of Naruto's judgement.

"I'll take her to the infirmary now," Kakashi placed a large hand on Sakura's shoulder, smiling at her in his quirky way. "So there's no need to worry, Naruto-chan."

The blond boy spluttered at the honorific, but quickly stopped when Alice sniggered and ruffled his hair. "Calm down. Heel, boy." The brunette added some very realistic dog yips that had a sleepy Pakkun poking his head up from behind her back. "What'd you say about my mother…?"

Flinching at the sentence, Alice glared at her younger companions when they laughed at her. "Shut up, guys." She reached an arm around to pat Pakkun's drowsy head, "Go back to sleep, Pakkun. You're dreaming deliriously."

The dog snuffled before ducking back down to doze off again.

Kakashi looked on with faint interest and amusement. "When are you going to give me my ninken back?"

"Ninken is a plural, Kakashi-sensei," sniped Alice back. "Now, go take Sakura to the infirmary and learn proper Japanese while you're at it. Maybe then you can get your pup back."

A sleepy protest of 'you're the pup' came from Pakkun, but that was quickly ignored.

Kakashi's hand slipped off Sakura's head in order to smack Alice soundly around the head, before he ignored the girl's indignant curses so that he could begin to guide Sakura back down the stairs and to a corridor that led off to the side to the infirmary.

"Bye guys!" Sakura managed to wave to a laughing Naruto and angry Alice before she rounded the corner with her sensei. Her face was split in a proud grin as she was led by Kakashi to an Iryō-nin to be healed. The smile only got bigger when Kakashi smiled down at her, a look in his eye that Sakura had rarely seen directed towards her, and told her that _he was proud of her._

She had rarely been so happy in her life.

* * *

**Alice P.O.V.**

Humming thoughtfully to myself, I watched as the fight between Tenten and Temari continued, Tenten not having much success despite her _extraordinary _skills of marksmanship. Really, they spoke of it and showed it in the series, but it…it really couldn't compare to seeing it in person. The absolute ease in which she wielded a variety of weapons showed that she had been brought up around the tools – was she an orphan, or not? – and had put many hours of training into mastering them.

'The only fault is that she's only using throwing weapons, when, if she used bludgeoning weapons, she could sneak up on Temari and use blunt force to overwhelm her. Temari's just sweeping away the kunai and shuriken with her fan ridiculously easily.' My fingernails made a comforting sound as they tapped on the metal railing that surrounded the balcony where I had been for the past couple of hours.

Honestly, this tournament isn't a slouch when it comes to extensive fights. _So loooooonnnnnggg….._

My interest was piqued when Tenten brought out two massive scrolls, obviously weighty, but she handled them easily. 'I'm glad to see that Gai's training has not truly gone to waste on her, as her lack of taijutsu is rather disheartening.'

_Why don't you tell her that? _

I didn't even flinch at the achingly familiar voice of my tenant reverberated around my mind. 'And for what purpose would I do such a thing?'

_Well, you _did _say that you wanted to fix everything, why not help fix her?_

'You can't fix what's not broken.'

_There is plenty of cracks on her style. 'Not broken!' Tch, you mock me._

'How the hell am I mocking you?!' I inhaled deeply through my nose so that I wouldn't lose my patience, and tried to focus on the brutal fight below.

Tenten leapt into the air, scrolls unfurling as she did so, and I managed to sneak a peek of intricate characters written along it before it was covered in clouds of smoke that transformed into the twin rising dragons that the technique was named for. 'Although there seems to be a lack of taijutsu in this fight, _surely _there was a point in the series that she used taijutsu. But, even if she doesn't use it much, she still shows a lot of prowess in kenjutsu and better than rudimentary skills in fuinjutsu. Both skills that are rare to have masters in, something that she becomes in Shippuden.'

_Only in kenjutsu, though. Her skills in sealing never seem to go further than containment scrolls and – I presume – exploding tags._

'You said to never presume!'

_Why do I put up with you?_

I held in my laughter at the exasperated tone that came from my tenant as it would make me look crazy (well, crazier than what people think of the 'snake brat,' or 'foreigner'), and would be highly inappropriate as Tenten was currently getting bent over Temari's massive and extremely badass fan.

"That's going to hurt," I muttered to Naruto as he fidgeted anxiously next to me. "Oh, and here comes Lee."

Naruto looked up at me before looking back down to the arena as Rock Lee leapt over the railing to catch his teammate. The bowl-haired boy's face was a mask of anger that looked out of place on his normally jolly face.

'Now he just sounds like Santa Claus…'

Lee began to yell at a smirking Temari and made to attack (even though he had an injured person in his arms, the idiot), but was swiftly stopped by Gai, who looked at Temari with a face of disappointment.

I zoned out his chat with his pupil, instead, I watched as Temari slung her fan over her shoulder and sauntered up the stairs, not a single speck of dirt on her, let alone any injuries.

_A formidable kunoichi, indeed._

Another hum came from me as I studied Temari, whose back was to me as she chatted to her brother. The sane one, I mean. Her fan was the thing I was focused on, looking rather large and unwieldy on her back, even in its folded up state.

Almost absently, my hand closed around the handle of my frying pan that protruded slightly over my right shoulder. 'My frying pan can channel chakra, just like Temari's fan. If I learn what my elemental affinity is, then I could do something like what Temari does! It would be useful if I had wind chakra, but I guess lightning would be just as good.'

_That can come after these exams. Just focus on the fights and see if you can pick anything up from the battles. Your taijutsu has come along, but your ninjutsu library is pathetic, as well as your kenjutsu skills._

'Way to make a girl feel special, Shingami-sama.'

_Why do you always change honorifics?_

'Meh.'

A thought brushed my head and I jolted slightly as I realised what was next. 'Kin and Shika's match! It's long and tedious, but still awesome! I should watch it and learn some tactical stuff from Shika!'

After giving Shikamaru shouts of encouragement alongside Naruto, and a sneaky thumbs up and grin to Kin, I realised that, no, I would not be watching this match.

Sweet Kami, was it fucking boring or what?!

It literally took over an hour for the two to finish their match, and most of that time I spent playing alongside Naruto with Akemi. She was bored as well and was more than happy to get all the attention that Naruto and I were just as happy to give her.

It was kind of annoying, though, to have Asuma warn us against playing with poisonous animals – even though I told him several times that Akemi wasn't just an animal! – and to have Ino scream when she woke up. Apparently, it wasn't funny to her to see a snake in her face when she woke up.

Naruto and I still thought it was fucking _hilarious_, and I was pretty sure that I saw a shy smile on Chōji's face at our antics. He was just too cute!

At Hayate's call of 'Nara Shikamaru; winner!' Naruto and I let out triumphant yells and raised our arms up in the air, Akemi wiggling further up my right arm where she was currently perched so that she could raise her tail alongside us.

"Thank Kami that's over," I sighed in relief, hugging Akemi to my chest. "I thought it would never end!"

"Ugh," Naruto moaned from next to me, slumping over the railing with a pout. "I thought so, too!" He perked up, though, when Shikamaru's slouched form came up the stairs. "Hey! I told ya that you'd win, Shikamaru!"

The dark-haired boy rolled his eyes as he walked past and I caught a mutter of 'troublesome blond,' before he stopped to lean heavily against the wall next to Asuma. "I did it, you troublesome sensei. Are you happy?" His voice was slightly bitter and condescending, something that I couldn't help but laugh at.

Shikamaru's dark eyes locked with mine, mild irritation glimmering in the depths. "And what are you laughing at, troubling woman?"

I shrugged at him, "Your attitude, Shika." I smiled softly at him, "Hey, since you actually _did _have a go in that match, I'll treat you to a game of shōji anytime that you ask. I'll even provide snacks, if you want."

Mouth twisting in thought, Shikamaru's head bobbed in a lazy imitation of a nod, "Agreed."

Glad that the situation was dealt with, I turned back to face the arena, eyes partially on an excited Naruto who was standing next to me as he had been for the past two hours. "What's got you revved up, Naru-chan?"

Of course, I knew what. He was excited to be chosen soon, and his wish would be granted right now with his match-up against Kiba. Hopefully it would be more vastly improved compared to the show. I would've been embarrassed if I was Naruto. As it was, I was embarrassed enough for him when I watched it.

"I'm sure that I'll be picked soon!" Naruto raised clenched fists in determination. "I'm sure of it!"

I chuckled as I ruffled his head, "I'm sure of it as well, little bro."

Naruto just grinned up at me with that adorable foxy grin of his that was just so _damn _infectious.

"Next match has been decided!"

I looked down at Hayate who was, in turn, looking up at the electronic name generator thingy that decided who would be picked. But I didn't look up at it like he did, I already knew who was going to fight next.

"Could Kinuta Dosu and Clostar Alice please come down to the arena?"

_Apparently, you don't._

I really could've cried then, but as it was, Naruto was currently yelling in excitement next to me, grasping at me with his hot hands. "Alice-nee! You're up now! Aw man, you're so lucky!"

His voice dimmed as my brain tried to catch up with the horror that was me versing Dosu.

"Alice-chan, it's time for you to go down."

My eyes flickered up to see Kakashi standing over me, his finger poking into my head. "Oh," I said rather faintly, "I guess it is." I made to move for the stairs, but found my left arm gripped by Kakashi's hand. "Sensei…?"

"You need to leave Pakkun and you're snake here, Alice-chan. They are counted as teammates and thus, can't go into the arena with you, even if they aren't competing in this part of the exams." Kakashi easily plucked Pakkun off me from where he hung off my back, before reaching his hand out for Akemi that was wound around my waist again. "C'mon, Alice-chan."

Numbly, I handed over a rather reluctant Akemi before making to move again. This time, a cough from Shikamaru made me stop and turn around. "Yes? What is it now? Hayate-san is getting rather impatient, you know?"

Shikamaru easily shrugged off my irritated words (as he always did), before gesturing at me. "Do you really want to fight in that?"

Glancing down, I realised that, with no more Akemi, my beloved black top was hanging off me, cut nearly in an indecent midriff. Further slashes (made by those damn tigers!) completed the look by making the top almost unwearable tatters. The only thing that wasn't destroyed on my upper-half was my trusty strap with my frying pan on it.

I flashed a smirk at Shikamaru, my courage coming back a bit as I dug around in one of my ninja pouches. "I guess you're right there, Shika! I do need a wardrobe change!" I slipped off the strap with my frying pan on it and calmly gave it to a bewildered Naruto. Then my left hand pulled out a dark purple pouch, even as my right grasped the tears of my shirt.

"Alice!" Kakashi's hand reached out to stop me, but he was a split second too late as I ripped my shirt off with a flourish.

* * *

**3****rd**** Person P.O.V.**

Everyone was starting to get annoyed by the fact that the girl of the current match hadn't come down to fight yet, and many where peering around others to see what the holdup was.

Kankurō was one of these people, and he got a brilliant view of the brunette girl called Alice ripping her shirt off. 'Oh my sweet Kami! She's stripping!'

As if sensing his perverted thoughts, Temari's fist slammed into his shoulder, making the older boy yelp in pain and rub his appendage. "What was that for?!"

"For being a pervert," sniffed Temari haughtily. "How dare you watch a girl strip like that!" But even as she said that, her thoughts were blaming someone else. 'How dare that kunoichi taint our already low reputation by acting like a hooker!'

"But, Temari," whined Kankurō, "she hasn't even stripped her top half completely!"

And it was true.

Alice stood proudly with her shredded black shirt in her hands, her black shorts and sandals on her bottom half, and bandages covering her chest area for her top half. "Ha ha!" she crowed, looking around at her companion's dumbfounded faces. "You thought I'd strip, just like that?"

"Well," hedged Naruto, "it _is _you. You can never be too sure."

Alice shrugged disarmingly before unrolling the scroll in her left hand and unsealing the contents. A large black object flopped out, and Alice picked it up lovingly, shaking it out to reveal that it was, in fact, two pieces of clothing.

She pulled the thinner and smaller article of clothing on, tugging down the ends of her short sleeved, midriff mesh shirt. After that, she swung on a long, black trench coat that was _very _similar to that of her female sensei.

"Yeah baby!" hollered said sensei from the other balcony, leering at her pupil. "Work that trench coat!"

Alice posed and gave a flirtatious wink back. "Thanks, nee-chan!"

Anko winked back and pointed both hands at her in gun positions. Something that Alice imitated back.

"Well," the hopeful-genin grinned at the males surrounding her, "I'm off! Wish me luck!"

Naruto yelled encouraging words after her as she skipped merrily down the stairs to the arena, black coat flapping and billowing dramatically behind her.

'This must be what Severus Snape feels like on a regular basis!'

_He's dead._

'You are _such _a spoilsport.'

It had taken a few moments of interruptions and comical situations, but Dosu (finally) stood opposite of Alice down on the arena, blank eyes boring into similar green ones. Alice's face was as impassive as his, but Dosu could pick up the erratic and fast pace of her heartbeat, which was odd, since she had seemed so assured of herself in the forest and just a moment ago; so why would one meagre battle have her nerves fried like this?

It was simple, really. The plotline had suddenly changed and Alice was internally having a mental breakdown over it, much to the annoyance of Shingami.

_Just calm down and fight him already. What are you so scared of?_

'Holy shit I just fucked everything up, didn't I?!'

_Sakura's match finished with her winning over Ino, yet you didn't freak out over it like you are currently doing now. Why is that?_

'Because I just realised that there's odd numbers and that I'm versing Dosu. Dosu was meant to verse Chōji, and this means that the next few matches could be so fucked up that it's not even funny. Naruto might end up versing Neji! Or Gaara might kill Hinata! Or! Or!'

_SHUT UP!_

Dosu watched with interest as Alice suddenly flinched, her hands jerking and her eyes screwing shut like she had a massive headache. Hayate hadn't noticed, he was currently keeping an eye on Dosu as he said the customary rules of the fight.

_Don't you remember? These matches are _rigged. _Hinata and Neji were chosen for a reason, just as this match was as well. Hiruzen doesn't want the matches to look completely unfair, but he doesn't wish for any shinobi of an unknown village to be in the finals. He's 'killing two birds with one stone' as you mortals say, by making you fight Dosu. This way, if either one of you are eliminated, his village's reputation isn't tainted._

'I'm a foreigner, and Dosu is an untrustworthy ninja…I see! If I make it through, then Hiruzen can pass it off as an underdog making it through, and he can stand behind me, so that it makes him look like a caring leader by letting a foreigner get through and compete. If Dosu makes it through, so what? He will probably be placed up against a tough opponent so that he gets eliminated earlier on. Though, I don't know how they'll rig the ballet box…'

_You're right there, finally. _

'I'm sorry if I'm not a hundred-thousand year old deity who knows everything!

…_Stop. Enough with the melodramatics. You have a battle to win and an opponent to crush. Do you know what you're going to do?_

A smirk came over Alice's face as Hayate raised his arm up, ready to signal for the fight to begin. 'Damn straight I do!'

"This match begins; now!"

It was a rather anticlimactic beginning. After Hayate's shout, literally nothing happened. Nothing at all. The two just stood there, staring at each other; Alice's face in a deep smirk while Dosu's was carefully analytical.

"Do you want to go first?"

Alice's casual question startled Dosu somewhat, but he pushed it aside easily enough. "And what do you mean by that?"

Gesturing to herself with her arms, Alice answered. "You get first hit. Well, first attack since I'll probably avoid it." The girl's tone of voice was as bored and indifferent as if she and Dosu were simply having a chat about how fine the weather was outside – even though Konoha was almost _always _sunny. Alice had guessed that it was part of the reason Konoha was in the Fire Country.

Cocking one eyebrow in answer, Dosu obligingly pulled out a kunai from his ninja pouch and tossed it towards the brunette in a lazy manner that made the whistling speed of the kunai seem more daunting.

Alice simply grinned and leant her head to the side to dodge it. "You'll have to better than that, Dosu!"

A grunt came from the Oto-nin's mouth as he pulled two more kunai out of his ninja pouch. One of the kunai was flung ahead of him as he charged forward, feet not making a single sound against the stone floors, even with his heavy sandals.

"You've had practise in your silent steps, obviously," Alice commented as she drew one of her own kunai to deflect Dosu's flung one. "It's quite a skill you have with it there."

Dosu didn't reply as he lashed out with his kunai, not flinching when Alice's own came up to block it and a loud, sharp clang reverberated from the two weapons. The two were in stalemate for a moment, both pushing their whole weight against their kunai in a bid to win the test of strength. The stalemate was broken when Alice – with a sly look in her eyes – twisted to the side to let Dosu's weight fall forward, the pressure he had been putting on his kunai being his undoing as he stumbled forward. Unforgivingly, Alice's foot drove itself into his back and caused the genin to sprawl onto the just as cruel floor.

That is, if Dosu hadn't pulled himself up into a handstand that left his feet free to kick straight up into Alice's face.

The brunette let out a sharp curse and stumbled back, holding her nose that was trickling blood from between her fingers. "That better not be broken! That was one of the few things I liked about my face, thank you very much!"

"Shinobi don't have any time to care about their looks," replied Dosu as he stood up and readjusted himself into a ready position, his Melody arm out in front, a perfect defence against kunai and taijutsu moves.

Alice shrugged and dropped her hands carefully away from her nose, wiping away the small streaks of blood that remained around the slightly swollen appendage and being careful to not get the substance on her coat. "You're right there. I'm just being annoying because I'm bored, fidgety and scared out of my mind right now."

"So you admit to being scared. Why? You telling your enemy that you are scared is your downfall. It is something that will end you if your enemy can take hold of your fear and use it against you."

"Speaking of my fear is not much of a handicap when I'm versing someone of your skill." Alice's eyes were trained on Dosu's singular one as she reached over her shoulder to unsheathe her frying pan. "You have extraordinary hearing, Dosu, don't you? That means that you can use your hearing to listen to my erratic heartbeat. Or how my breath quickens when I'm in danger." There was now a gleam in her eyes that made Dosu feel something akin to unease stir in his gut. "How do you know of my skill, Alice-san?"

The gleam disappeared into emerald depths as they fluttered delicately. "You used my name. How kind of you."

Dosu's face wasn't amused at all by her hedging. "Answer the question."

The frying pan in her right hand began to spin lazily, Alice's index finger poking through the hole in the handle that was normally used to hang the pan up was the only thing that kept the usually kitchen appliance from flying across the room. "I'm just someone who likes to be in the know, Dosu. It's just a matter of being in the right place at the right time." Suddenly, the brunette dipped into a deep bow, head tilted up to keep grinning that unnaturally happy smile of hers towards him. "Shall we begin in earnest now, Dosu?"

"I agree," said Dosu, "enough of these games." He lifted up his Melody arm and channelled some chakra into it, feeling extremely satisfied when the weapon hummed and activated its special skill.

Thinking quickly, Alice pushed chakra to her legs and bounded to the side, trying to evade the devastating soundwaves that were emitted from Dosu's arm. But the several metres that she managed to put between her and Dosu wasn't enough. As her feet tapped down in a landing that had brought her to the edge of the arena, the girl yelped and pressed a hand to her right ear which was closest to where her previous position was.

"No distance is too great for my Melody arm to reach," Dosu commented in a slightly smug voice. "You can't run away, Alice-san. Not from me."

'So not creepy,' Alice thought to herself as she observed Dosu, hand still cupping her tender ear. 'But he's wrong. When Sakura got hit by his attack, her eardrums ruptured, her balance was completely shot and she had bouts of nausea. Mine just feels like a small ear infection. Like when you have water trapped in your ears for hours.'

_You have to test how far his range is, then attack safely from there._

'But I'm a close-combat person! I'm shit at long-distance fighting!'

_Deal with it._

'No. I have a better idea.' Alice kept her mouth shut and right hand tightly clenched on her frying pan as she crept back towards the centre of the arena, and where Dosu was waiting. 'Volume is the measure of quantity of sound, and sound is basically what Dosu is using, right?'

_Yes, but I don't see what that has to do with staying out of his attack range._

'Well, sound waves are basically pressure waves, silent but deadly. The reason your ears are affected is because your eardrum is put under too much pressure by the attack, and therefore rupture under the pressure. Sound travels in an outwards fashion, so even if I go to the very edges of the arena, the bare edges of his attack will still affect me.' Alice's eyes were still trained on Dosu and his on hers as they met at the centre of the arena again. This time though, there was several metres between them. Dosu was perfectly content to observe Alice's battle stance, so she took the time to finish explaining her theory to Shingami.

'Basically, if I can somehow cancel out his attack using _sound, _then I will show him that he literally cannot use his attack without me negating it. It would be useless, and therefore he has to rely on taijutsu or kenjutsu, since I can conclude that he has no other jutsu. If he did, he would've used it to defeat Sakura or something.'

_You aren't _seriously _thinking to use that stupid genjutsu, are you?_

'I told you it would come in handy!'

A wicked grin came over Alice's face and that gleam made a reappearance in her eyes. A cold feeling swept over Dosu and he couldn't help but wonder that, if this girl took up their invitation to come to their village, she might make Oto even madder and much more dangerous than it is now. He recognised that gleam. It was in Orochimaru's eyes every time he looked at them, and was barely hidden in his own eyes.

It was madness. Insanity. Whatever you wanted to call it, Alice had it. Alice had a spark of madness that would only grow if left unchecked. And Dosu could only hope that she didn't snap in this fight. When mad people snapped, their insanity would take over their movements and blind them, making them attack anyone and anything, even if they were a friend rather than a foe. They could barely feel pain and was more likely to attack savagely and unforgivingly. He had seen it happen too many times under Orochimaru's reign.

"Hey, Dosu! If we turned the heat up in here and bring the beat, do ya reckon your Melody arm will still be able to make my ears bleed?" Alice's voice was taunting as she waved her frying pan around and tucked it under one arm, grin fixated into a mask that took up her entire face. "Let's have a go, eh? You activate your Melody arm, and I try and counteract it, okay?"

"I will indulge in your futile wishes," said Dosu warily, but hiding it under his gravelly tones. "You can't escape this time, Alice-san." Even as he raised his arm and collected chakra, Dosu noticed that the girl looked very confident and self-assured as she raised her hands in the seal of confrontation, a half tora or ram seal.

"Bring it," was all Alice said in return as she flared her chakra in a massive pulse that Dosu felt wash over him and his attack.

Dosu couldn't hear the usual hum of his chakra going through the air as a _huge, _pulsing, beating throb of music drowned out everything, even his own heartbeat. It was a series of electronic beats that got louder and louder, more and more urgent as it went. A mocking drumbeat began to pulsate underneath it, adding another degree of pain to Dosu's hypersensitive ears.

With a deep sense of satisfaction (and slight pain because, _holy fuck was this music loud!_), Alice unsealed the earplugs she had bought for this specific genjutsu and slid them into her ears to drown out the eardrum shattering volume of music that was _when the beat drops._

'I have never been happier to have listened to those Naruto AMV's.' Alice bobbed along with the scraps of music she could hear – even through the protective earplugs – and watched as Dosu collapsed to the ground, covering his ears as the loud volume of music destroyed his super eardrums. 'And I can't believe that it actually worked!'

_I can't believe that you used such a stupid genjutsu in a battle. When Anko mentioned a genjutsu that could replay any sounds from the wielders memories, I just _knew _that you would use it for something foolish._

'In my defence, defeating an opponent is _not _foolish.'

_Tch._

'Don't scoff at me!'

_I can do whatever I wish, mortal._

'Now we're bringing my mortality into this?'

_Just shut up and hurry up and knock him out while he's down._

'Nah, I want this battle to go on for a bit.' Alice then flinched as a sharp pain exploded in her brain. 'Ow! What the fuck was that for?!'

_For being reckless in your guess of whether this would work against his attack and for not following my orders. Hurry up and take him down._

'I'm still going to have fun with him…No matter what you say.'

_Insufferable mortal._

'Love you too.'

Up on the balconies, everything was a little more…muddled than what was happening in Alice's thoughts.

"What's going on, Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto leant over the railing, curiously peering down at the confusing scene of the Oto-nin suddenly collapsing and Alice putting in earplugs. "I don't know what Alice-nee did!" He could faintly hear a beating sound, but it seemed fuzzy and indistinct;like the sound of music through a closed door.

"It's a genjutsu," Kakashi supplied, studying his part-time pupil that was standing there with a thoughtful expression on her face and a frying pan in her hands. "This seems to be a genjutsu that is confined to one area. Otherwise, we'd all be hearing it as well." His gaze turned to Hayate who had stumbled his way to the edge of the arena, slumping in relief when he got there and rubbing his ears tiredly. "It seems that it's confined to the arena."

"Huh," Naruto wrinkled his nose, "I didn't know that Alice-nee knew any genjutsu."

"Me either," Kakashi said quietly, eyes now on the grinning form of Anko as she looked down at her pupil. He turned back to the fight just as Alice cancelled her genjutsu and took out her earplugs, beginning to skip her way over to the recovering Dosu.

"I just want to get loose when the beat drops!" Alice stuttered in a mocking version of the song she had booming just before, her voice sounding electronic and confusing to everyone in the room since techno was something that had never been invented in the Elemental Nations.

"How'd ya like that, Dosu?" Alice stopped in front of the sprawled form of Dosu, bent at the waist to leer at him and her frying pan tapping a taboo against the stone floor. "Bit of loud music to clear your ears out."

Clutching his ears, Dosu staggered upright, making Alice step back so that his head wouldn't come up to hit her under her chin. The Oto-nin's ears were ringing and he had trouble making out what the girl was saying. It sounded garbled and muffled, the ringing drowning most of it out.

Looking incredibly cheery and pleased with herself, Alice gave a wave of her free hand, "Nice to see you up and moving. Shall we continue our match now? You now know, as soon as you try your Melody arm shit on me," her eyes darkened and a shadow fell over her face. "I'll fucking drown it out and make your ears bleed." Her complexion cleared up again and she smiled dazzlingly at him. "Taijutsu, kenjutsu or ninjutsu? I only know one genjutsu – that you just saw – so I'd like to choose another skill. To have a bit of variety, ya know?"

Dosu glowered at the girl and dug around in his ninja pouch, flinging out a hail of kunai in answer to her.

Laughing, Alice batted the kunai away with twirls of her frying pan. Some she hit like she was batting with a baseball or cricket bat and the dangerous knives being thrown her way at high velocities were mere tennis balls. Sparks flew from the metal-on-metal contact, but she took no notice of them, too caught up in the adrenaline rush of fighting. "C'mon, Dosu! Bring it all to the table! We need plenty to go 'round!"

* * *

"She's insane!" Kiba hissed, staring with an odd look on his face as the Oto-nin began to engage the said person in a bout of taijutsu that was interrupted by several swings of her frying pan. "Who the hell fights with a _frying pan_?!"

"M-maybe she was t-taught how t-to fi-fight with it by her f-family," stuttered Hinata, varying her gaze between the odd fight and her hyped-up teammate.

"That's illogical," cut in Shino, adjusting his glasses on his nose. "I have heard that she acquired the weapon only earlier this week, so, therefore, she would not have been taught by her family. It is simple facts."

Kiba stared at his male teammate incredulously. "Dude, you _need _to stop stalking people. It's creepy."

* * *

A sandalled foot thwacked solidly into the side of Alice's head and she hit the floor with a bounce, her frying pan catching her painfully in the ribs. She groaned before rolling to the side to miss the giant metal chunk that was Dosu's Melody arm that came smashing down where her head had just been a second before.

"You're not so confident now, are you, Alice-san?" Dosu's voice was bland as he swung his long arms at the scrabbling Alice who was trying to simultaneously stand up and move back. "Maybe you shouldn't have talked yourself up so much at the start. It is embarrassing for you to not fight back as well as you proclaimed and made yourself to be."

Dodging his arms and finally managing to stand up, Alice rubbed the blood that was trickling out of her nose again and spat to the side. "Don't think that I can talk the talk, but not walk the walk." She sneered slightly before disappearing in a burst of white smoke.

Startled, Dosu stumbled back as the smokebombs that Alice had sneakily managed to toss down blanketed the area in thick white smoke, an odd smell of gunpowder exfoliating his face every time the smoke caressed him. After he steadied himself, Dosu strained his ears to catch anything that was happening in the smoke cloud. There was faint popping sounds and the smoke seemed to billow out some more and collect more density, but the only sound was of scuffling feet and…_heartbeats._

A plural!

Slightly confused, Dosu leapt back in preparation of what was going to come out of the smoke cloud. Thoughts of summoned animals drifted through his mind, but he banished them; no genin had enough chakra to summon anything.

Up on the balcony, Naruto erupted into a series of sneezes that left his head ringing.

A sound of feet faintly tapping against the ground had Dosu ready for the sudden rush from Alice as she charged towards him, brandishing her frying pan. When she got close enough, Alice swung out with her weapon, which Dosu easily dodged at took the opportunity to put her out of the fight with a swift stab to her gut with a kunai.

Surprisingly to Dosu, the kunai slid through Alice with no resistance and the girl winked before shimmering away.

'_Bunshin!'_

Flicking his kunai back into a ready position, Dosu turned his awareness back to the smoke cloud, now gone and replaced with an assortment of Alice's that had fanned out to surround him.

'_So many bunshin,' _Dosu's eye narrowed as he took in the mass of clones twirling kunai or a frying pan, _'but they are intangible, and therefore won't credit to anything. How foolish. I'll just push through these bunshin and find the real one.'_

As both Dosu and the bunshin stood at the ready, an Alice that stood directly in front of Dosu raised her frying pan to point at him. "Get 'im, girls!"

"Aye, aye captain!" Came the collective cheer from the replicas as they rushed forwards.

It wasn't a chaotic charge of no thought beforehand Dosu realised after several moments of slashing through insubstantial bunshin. The bunshin carefully placed themselves in positions that were to confuse him and leave his back bare to another rush of their clones, even though they didn't add to any damage. So it was a real surprise when he felt a sharp pain on his back when a frying pan smashed into it.

'_They lulled me into a false sense of security before the real one attacked me!' _Dosu whirled around to face a grinning Alice, his hand holding a kunai already in action. _'But I've got her now!' _He stabbed again and (again) was surprised when, instead of his kunai spearing into her exposed shoulder and splattering a magnificent spray of blood, the Alice disappeared in a puff of smoke.

'_A solid clone?!'_

His thoughts were distracted when another Alice came from the side, wielding a kunai. Deflecting the attack and slashing across, Dosu wasn't as surprised when the girl disappeared in a puff of smoke. "Just what the hell is going on?!"

* * *

"Kage bunshin?" Asuma said disbelievingly. "How does a _genin _know the kage bunshin?!"

Naruto turned around to the jōnin with a smug look on his face. "It's not a hard technique, Asuma-sensei. I just taught Alice-nee the hand seals and gave her some pointers, then she practised for a couple of weeks." The genin's face was practically split in half by his foxy grin. "Though, it took her **way **longer to learn it than I did, and she still can't create half as many as bunshin as I can, but she's still awesome!"

The look of disbelief on Asuma's face intensified. "You…"

"As if you, the dobe, could ever do something acknowledgeable! I bet this kage bunshin isn't even that cool, right, Asuma-sensei?!" Ino's voice was harsh, grating, and snippy, cutting straight to Naruto's core. The blond tried to hide the hurt, but it still flashed in his cerulean eyes. Something that Kakashi managed to catch a glimpse of.

"Actually, Ino-chan…" Kakashi's tone was his amused, yet somehow bored, and it served its purpose of making Ino uncomfortable. "Kage bunshin is an A-rank ninjutsu that only a few jōnin are able to use." Ino's face was getting paler and paler by what Kakashi was implying and his tone of voice. "Naruto here learnt the kage bunshin in only three hours and can throw them out like there's no tomorrow."

The male blond's face was lit up in a bashful smile and aglow with a light blush. "K-kakashi-sensei!"

"Really?" Asuma leant forward with a pensive look on his face. "How many can you make?"

"Well," Naruto screwed his eyes up in thought, "I'm not too sure-"

"See!" Ino pointed at Naruto triumphantly, ignoring the protests of her teammates. "Naruto-baka's lying! He can't even count, so how could he possibly do an A-rank jutsu?"

"Since there's usually too many to count," Naruto finished, slightly bitter. "But I can create about…"

"He's created over one-hundred kage bunshin at one time from what I've heard from Iruka," inputted Kakashi casually. "You created about that much when you defeated Mizuki, didn't you, Naruto?"

Shrugging casually, the blond answered to shocked looks. "Yeah, Mizuki-teme wasn't really that tough when I created around a hundred kage bunshin and set 'em on him."

Shikamaru peered at Naruto, "so _you're _the reason Mizuki-sensei didn't show up to the team selections."

Naruto shrugged again. "The bastard deserved it. He tried to hurt Iruka-sensei."

"And get away with the sacred scroll of sealing," Kakashi added wryly. "That's kind of important as well."

"Nah, Kaka-sensei," came an amused voice from behind the jōnin. "A top-secret scroll full of Konoha's secrets isn't important _at all_." Alice grinned at them from her cross-legged position on top of the railing. "Can you sense the sarcasm in there? 'Cause I meant it."

"Alice," Kakashi said mildy, "why are you currently not in the arena fighting?"

The brunette wrinkled her nose before channelling chakra to her legs and ass to lean backwards and to stare down at the comical scene of Dosu fighting around twenty bunshin; both regular and kage bunshin. She then sat back up and looked at Kakashi, "I think he's a bit busy right now. I don't want to be rude."

Alice then started and nearly lost her balance as Hayate leapt up to stand on the railing next to her. "Excuse me, Alice-san, but if you don't enter the arena right now, then you'll be disqualified."

"What if I'm not the real one?" Alice asked with a raised eyebrow and a challenging face.

After a bout of coughing, Hayate simply stared at her with a deadpan look. "Are you the real one, or a bunshin?"

"Oh, I'm the real one alright," scoffed Alice. "Could a mere copy be as fabulous as me!" She gave a flirtatious wink and flicked her fringe to the side.

"Please enter the arena or you'll be disqualified," repeated Hayate around a cough.

"Oh no!" Alice mock-gasped and slapped her cheeks in horror, squishing them so that her eyes were screwed up. "We can't have that!" Jumping up, she saluted the other Konoha-nin with one hand and pulled yet _another _scroll out of her ninja pouch, pushing aside the folds of her coat in order to get it. Leaping off the balcony with a sharp tap of her feet, Alice sauntered casually over to Dosu, creating a kage bunshin and dispelling it just as easily.

"What was the point of that?" Naruto asked quizzically. "Why'd she just waste a kage bunshin like that?"

"Because, Naruto," said Kakashi patiently. "When you dispel a kage bunshin, you get all of its memories. Didn't you know this?"

The blond turned his head to stare at him with his mouth hanging open and his bright eyes bulging. "…What?" The jinchūriki let out a wail and clutched at his spiky hair with clawed hands. "No way! This can't be!" His head spun back to the front and he promptly slammed his head several times into the railing, a mantra of 'stupid! Stupid!' Emitting from his lips.

"I guess he didn't," Kakashi said casually. "Ah well, he knows now."

Down in the arena, Alice stared at the scene of her knuckle-headed friend slamming his head into the railing before shrugging and brushing it off as Naruto being Naruto.

"Mistress." A bunshin clicked her sandals together in front of Alice and stood at attention, the military image ruined by her smirk. "The plan is ready to go!"

"Well," Alice shooed her absently, her attention focused now on the scroll in her hands. "Get on with it then."

"Bitch," the bunshin muttered before scuttling off under Alice's heated glare. The bunshin bounded up next to another kage bunshin that was watching Dosu decimate the last of her sister bunshin with an amused look on her face. "Yo, sis!"

Kage bunshin number two looked over to number one with a raised eyebrow, "Yes, sister?"

"Mistress is being a real pain about it, but the plan is ready to begin!"

"Of course, let's get started then." The second bunshin bumped fists with the first before hurrying over to take up her position, creating another two kage bunshin to help her out. "You ready, girls?"

The other two bunshin nodded and pulled out their frying pans alongside their creator, "Roger!"

Dosu, finally noticing something was happening, dispelled the last of the bunshin to find that six more were surrounding him at regular intervals, another one behind them a bit with a scroll in her hands. He was panting slightly, but seemed otherwise fine. "So, you've finally decided to stop hiding behind your stupid bunshin." Dosu glared with his one eye, clearly not pleased about fighting fake Alice's for around three minutes.

"If you're trying to bait me," said Alice, not impressed at all. "Then, simply, fuck you." She tossed her head scornfully and unsealed her scroll, a single vial tumbling into her hands. "One should know how to not let _petty _comments cloud their judgement." She tucked the scroll away and tossed the vial absently in one hand. There seemed to be nothing swirling in its depths, a milky liquid that looked innocent, and that made Dosu's skin crawl. "It was a tactical decision, not me being a scaredy-cat." She held one hand up in a paw and meowed exactly like a cat.

Dosu stared at her disbelievingly. "What is wrong with you?"

"Several things," shrugged Alice as she lowered her arm, "but we really should be getting on." She lifted the arm back up and flung it out to her bunshin, "Ladies?"

"Ready, mistress!" They held their frying pans high before beginning to fan them rigorously in a clockwise direction.

Dosu was slightly confused as a breeze began to blow around him. It was weak, but saturated in chakra. "What are you playing at?"

"Needs more kage bunshin," Alice muttered to herself, ignoring Dosu, before creating four more kage bunshin and hiding the wince that was her chakra draining to half-full. The new bunshin began to also channel chakra to their frying pan and wave it around, causing the slight breeze to pick up and swirl around Dosu, as he was the very centre of the circle they had formed. The bunshin were all fanning their frying pans towards the same direction, and that caused an invisible and slightly strong cyclone of air to form around Dosu, funnelling in towards him.

Taking a deep breath, Alice unplugged the vial and quickly chucked it to a nearby bunshin who took one hand off her frying pan to catch it and swiftly slammed it into the ground at Dosu's feet. The vial shattered and Dosu stared at it blankly. "Was that supposed to do something?"

Alice chuckled mischievously, "Of course; I expect you haven't heard of something called BZ." Dosu's face remained blank. "Yes, well, it has a longer name, but I really can't be bothered to say it, 'cause I'm lazy like that." Alice's eyes were drooping as she spoke, trying (unsuccessfully) to hide the mirth and victory glittering in them. "Basically, I just chucked an incapacitating toxin at your feet that's odourless and colourless, but still affects you greatly." Dosu's eyes widened and Alice let out a snicker. "Yep, you should be feeling the effects around now as Anko-nee and I spent weeks making the toxin fast acting and very potent, yet, not deadly. At least," Alice tapped her lips with an index finger, "I don't think it is."

Dosu went to say something, but found his gaze swimming and distorting. "Wh…" His question died off in a gurgle as his mouth went lax and unresponsive. "Garghh…" He tried to step forward to where he could make out the vague shape of a bunshin, but a flush worked its way up to his face, along with his lunch.

Several people up on the balcony winced as the Oto-nin spewed up his lunch before collapsing to the ground shuddering and crying.

"Wow," was all Alice said as she stared at the downed form of her opponent. "I did _not _expect _that _to happen." She turned away from the terrible scene of Dosu starting to rant and rave at nothing, his eyes wild, to speak to a shocked Hayate. "Um, I think he's down for the count. Do you mind calling the medics? I think he needs them." She looked slightly guilty and ill as she spoke.

"Y-yeah," Hayate coughed before motioning over the medics. Just before they reached where the bunshin were still maintaining the mini-cyclone, Alice stopped them and advised them to not inhale the air in there as they were already completely covered and wouldn't get poisoned from skin-contact. She also handed them a blank scroll to seal the tainted air with.

As the Iryo-nins did that, Hayate declare Alice the winner. But, it didn't feel as good as she thought it would. Maybe it was something to do with the fact that she had put an acquaintance in the hospital _and _probably had to fight again.

No wonder why she wasn't feeling excited.

* * *

**Hot damn, a lot of weird shit happened in there and I'm not entirely pleased with it, so I might change it at some point in the future.**

**BUT, just as a clarification, BZ **_**is **_**a real toxin, but it doesn't work instantaneously like it did here. It does, however, cause the symptoms I mentioned here and much more. It's a drug that affects you mentally, physically and emotionally. Look it up if you're interested and that'll be all.**

**Ciao.**


	24. Act 4 Part 3: When the going gets tough

**Ugh, sorry I haven't written, not in the mood for writing you see, but I'm happy to inform you that the holidays have started! Huzzah! That means lots more updates! **

**But only if you want…**

**Anyways, cheers for the support and here's another chapter!**

* * *

**Disclaimer: **_Fuck, I just want to kill Sasuke off in this story as a form of revenge for the fucking stupid canon!Sasuke! Gods, what does he think he's doing?! If I owed Naruto, Sasuke would be fucking satisfied with what he's got and just chill the fuck out. _

**Warning: **_Language (although that warning could be a little late…but there is a part in caps that you may not want to read if you don't like a lot of swearing…) and fighting_

* * *

**3****rd**** Person P.O.V.**

It was an absent thought of _Hey, look how well Naruto's going _that brought Alice out of her daze; her daze filled with thoughts like _holy shit I just fucked the whole order up! _and _shit, I just fucked Dosu up._

Her eyes blinked rapidly and slowly the haze covering her eyes lifted, revealing that, yes, Naruto was going _pretty damn well, _if Kiba's tired posture was an indicant.

Leaning forward, Alice slumped against the railing, looking upon the fight with interest and noting at how well Naruto held himself; looking proud and strong, unlike Kiba's slumped form that faced off against him.

"How is it," huffed out Kiba as he glared at Naruto, "that the _Dobe _is suddenly so good? How are you even able to fight?! You _sucked _in the academy, and you _should suck now! _What the hell is so different about you?! You're bloody Uzumaki Naruto! You're the _failure!_"

Standing up straighter, confidence practically _humming _off him, Naruto stared Kiba straight in the eye and spoke simply, words crisp and truthful. "I understand that life isn't going to wait for you." _Why don't I have a mum or dad…?_ "I know that precious people can be lost." _Haku…are you crying? _"I've seen of how strength isn't always needed." _Your determination is worthy of acknowledgement, but you don't understand the mechanism behind anything. _"But, most of all, I have my precious people standing behind me, supporting me and giving me strength."

"I'll force myself to change if they need me, and they did. They needed _me. _The _Dobe._ Does that answer your question, Kiba?" Naruto looked at his opponent curiously, eyes dark. "I changed because I needed to and wanted to. Not because I was the _Dobe _of the academy. And not because I was Uzumaki Naruto. I did it because I have precious people, and they care for me enough to not want to see me get hurt." The blond looked up at Alice and Kakashi who were looking on proudly, their gaze strengthening his resolve as he faced Kiba once more. "And I'll get stronger to return the promise tenfold, because I _never _want to see a precious person die in front of me _ever again!_"

"Look at our little boy," Alice whispered to Kakashi who was hovering behind her, "he's all grown up!"

"_Our _little boy?" Kakashi asked with faint amusement, singular eye darting up to Alice before fixating back onto Naruto. "Why would you say something like that?"

"Well," Alice said, "I'd like to think that I helped Naruto become stronger, just adding a little bit to your large portion of help. Just a tiny smidge, but enough to make me part of his moulding process."

Kakashi hummed incommutably, observing Kiba begin to lash out at Naruto, fast enough – although only slightly better than Naruto – to get a fair few good hits in to knock Naruto around. "Don't you have Sakura to play around with?" He finally said, curious as to how the girl was going to answer to this controversially worded question.

"Yes," Alice said plainly, "but Sakura is blooming. She has the smarts to push herself further, I just gave her some basics and nudged her in the right direction. She'll blossom into a beautiful tree on her own. Naruto, on the other hand, he needs to be shoved. He doesn't need carefully explained diagrams or books to do what he does, though, he just needs to be shown how to once and given the resources. He'll go from there by himself easily."

Kakashi eyed her, slightly confused by her reply, but shrugged it off; he would question her later. Right now, he was going to watch his student completely _destroy _Kurenai's.

Next time they meet up for sake, he would be sure to hold this over her. Just like he was going to do to Asuma with Sakura's win against Ino. Oh yes, he was going to enjoy their next catch-up/complain about their genin/brag about their brats session.

"Go Naru-chan!" Alice whopped and punched the air, Akemi juddering on her shoulders from the sudden movement. "Kick that mutt's furry ass!"

Dodging a swinging fist from Naruto, Kiba launched the blond back a couple of metres with a vicious kick to the ribs before stopping to glare up at Alice. "Would you just shut up already?! Your stupid voice is annoying my ears!"

"Ooooh~" Alice put on a dramatically scared face. "I'm _so _scared of the top dog!" Her face relaxed into a smirk. "Maybe you should keep your eyes and _precious _ears on the situation around you, mutt."

Opening his mouth to retort, Kiba suddenly found it kissing the floor from a mule kick, courtesy of an annoyed Naruto. "Don't turn your back on me, bastard! I don't want you taking me lightly, 'ttebayo!"

A growl escaped Kiba's throat as he peeled his face off the ground and shakily stood up. "That's it! I'm done playing around!"

"We were playing?" Asked Naruto, arms crossed as he faced Kiba from a safe distance away. "I thought playing meant that two people participated, not one dominating the other."

Kiba snapped his teeth at him. "Shut up! I'll show you!" He turned to face his teammates on their portion of the balcony, arms beckoning. "Akamaru! C'mere!"

There was an answering bark before the small white dog that had been waiting so patiently for Kiba's command came leaping down to the arena, paws tapping lightly against the ground.

"Seeing Akamaru makes me miss Pakkun," Alice whispered to Kakashi. "Why'd you have to send him back?"

"Because he was tired and had to recuperate," Kakashi replied dismissively. "I can't keep him out all the time, Alice-chan."

"Then give him to me," Alice said simply, peering at Akamaru, who was currently growling at Naruto. "I'll take good care of him, I swear."

Kakashi merely ruffled her hair in answer.

A loud barking came from Akamaru as he lunged at Naruto, making anyone whose attention was wandering go straight back to the fight below.

"Gah!" Naruto barely twisted away to miss the dog's snapping jaws. "Isn't having your dog compete in this against the rules?! It's like having two people verse me! Not fair at all! And I don't want to hurt Akamaru, I _actually _like him, unlike Kiba!"

Hayate replied to Naruto's protests from where he was standing a safe distance away, having to talk over Kiba's vexed shouts. "The Inuzuka are allowed to use their ninken because they are considered two parts of one whole in battle. They are a form of weapon; much like a summon animal."

"It still seems against the rules," Naruto grumbled. He then ducked into a crouch to miss another lunge from Akamaru. "This sucks!"

"Ha!" Kiba pointed at Naruto from where he stood proudly and confidently, content with watching his partner attack Naruto. "Akamaru's going to tear you to shreds, Dobe!"

Naruto stuck his tongue back in reply. "No he's not! Not before I kick your ass!"

"I'd like to see you try!"

"I'll show you now!"

"Oh yeah? Bring it on!"

"I'm bringing it!"

Temari sighed and kneaded her brow, trying her best to ignore the fight below that had dissolved into a shouting match filled with stupid comments and terrible name-callings. "How did these two even become shinobi?"

"I ask myself that question a lot. Well, mostly Kiba, but whatever!"

The blonde Suna kunoichi started before whirring around to face the cheekily grinning brunette from Konoha that had stripped before her match, and then had made her opponent dissolve into a crying, spewing mess that had needed to be cleaned up by a team of medics. "What the hell?! Who'd you get here?!"

"Hi. I walked over here, like a normal person." Alice waved to Temari from her perch on the railing beside her before smiling at Kankurō's bewildered face that peeked out from behind Temari's bulky fan. "I don't think we got off on the right foot when we first met." She then paused, thinking of how she had met them again in the forest and the awkward situation that had resulted from it. "…Or the second time 'round, but I'm sure we'll get there in the end!"

Sticking her hand out towards Temari, Alice mustered up her most innocent look that didn't look forced. "The name's Clostar Alice; I like the colour red, chocolate, and my snake, Akemi-chan." At this, the silvery-purple thing on Alice's outstretched arm that Temari had assumed to be a bracelet raised its head and flickered its forked tongue at her happily.

"…" Temari stared alternately between the hissing snake that was long enough to wrap around her neck several times, and the wide beam plastered on the crazy brunette's face that had started this whole weird encounter.

Hesitantly reaching out her hand, Temari shook hands with Alice, barely noticing the firm grip as she was too busy watching Akemi to see if she would attack.

"Don't worry about Akemi," said Alice, almost seemingly hearing Temari's thoughts as she unclasped her hand from Temari's to stroke Akemi's head, the snake leaning into the contact. "She won't attack anyone unless I ask her to, or a person is threatening me. Isn't that right, beautiful?"

Akemi hissed and squirmed happily under Alice's blissful fingers, violet eyes rolling in bliss.

"Oh," was what Kankurō brought to the conversation, face paint contorted in mild confusion and disbelief. "Okay then."

Alice hummed in reply.

The three of them stood in tense silence – excluding Alice, actually, since she was sitting down and she didn't seem to feel the tense atmosphere around her as she watched Naruto and Kiba duke it out.

A sudden (but not really unexpected) flare of KI had both Temari and Kankurō shivering, while Alice merely leaned back to look past the two teens of the same age, catching sight of a stoic Gaara that was currently glaring with his teal eyes at her. "Is there a problem, Gaara?"

The red-head blinked slowly, arms crossed over his chest; as unmoving as stone.

"Not very talkative, are you?" Alice continued cheerfully, not minding the fact that a homicidal, chemically unbalanced jinchūriki was currently glaring at her. "But I don't mind much; you wouldn't either if you had to share a house with someone as emotionless as Sasuke who, by the way, doesn't have as much finesse in excreting killing intent as you do, Gaara. It's quite admirable." She paused her dialogue to let off a short laugh at the comical sight of Kiba tripping over one of Naruto's bunshin and falling into a well-placed kick that had him flying, before turning back to Gaara. "It's also adorable. You're adorable."

Both Temari and Kankurō couldn't help it; their jaws dropped of their own accord. And, really, what else were they meant to do when some _random _comes flouncing over, _playing around _with their insane, demon-possessed little brother, _Gaara?! _

This wasn't in the pamphlet of _How to be an older sibling to a homicidal jinchūriki: What to do when someone approaches said jinchūriki. _They were meant to shoo them off – not like they had to really do that before since _all_ of Suna knew of Gaara and his tendencies to brutally murder anyone who even walked in front of him – not have them have a normal (albeit one-sided) conversation with the jinchūriki and call him _adorable._

This was a very new experience for two-thirds of the Sand siblings.

Gaara grunted at the brunette as a form of answer, his eyes narrowing further and his KI picking up a few notches.

"Oh shush." Alice flapped a hand towards Gaara uncaringly. "Don't be such an uptight prick. We're at an event that involves people beating the crap out of each other." She gestured with both arms down at the fight below where Kiba had just used several smoke bombs on Naruto to obscure his vision. "You should be happy!"

At the lack of response from the Suna nin, especially Gaara, Alice huffed and turned away from them to pay full attention to the fight below, marvelling at the fact that things seemed to be following canon one moment and then completely different the next.

At one point Kiba had thrown down the smoke bombs and Akamaru had attacked Naruto, like in the canon. Naruto had also used a solid henge to look like Akamaru and had used kage bunshin to add the illusion of him being downed, but instead of merely biting Kiba, he had bitten down on the Inuzuka's hand before lashing out in a hard right hook that had ploughed into the boy's face. The added factor of his right hand being held solidly by Naruto's ridiculously strong mouth meant that Kiba toppled awkwardly, legs slipping out from underneath him. Naruto had taken advantage of the boy's weakness and had let go of his sleeve in order to leap on him, hands grappling with Kiba's for dominance.

"Kinky," Alice commented vaguely, swinging one leg over in thin air. "But who'd be sub…? Kiba's got the whole alpha dog thing, but Naruto never backs down…hmmm…"

Temari looked anxiously at the girl from the corner of her right eye, unsure as to what to do or say to such uncomfortable subjects.

Kankurō, on the other hand, was trying his best to hide his snickers. The girl may be insane and frankly terrifying with her sudden appearances and suicidal wishes when going against Gaara, but she had a funny sense of sexual humour.

He loved that in a girl.

Down in the arena, whimpers from a captured Akamaru gave Kiba the boost of strength to buck Naruto off, knee coming up in a vicious strike to the solar plexus.

The blond coughed wetly, arms protecting his chest and stomach as he rolled awkwardly away from the enraged Kiba and tried to stand up through the pain in his gut. "Damn it…" He groaned, stumbling up and swaying on his feet. "That hurt." Naruto's grumblings cut off as a vision of a punch to the face, courtesy of Kiba, came to mind, phantom pain wracking its way across his face. He twisted awkwardly in his haste to turn, only to find his kage bunshin that had been holding Akamaru gone, and a smirking Kiba and a suddenly rusty-red Akamaru in its place. "…Why the heck is he red now?!"

Kiba rolled his eyes condescendingly. "_Aka_maru. It obviously has to mean _something_, idiot. When I give soldier pills to Akamaru, it boosts his strength significantly, as well as my own when I have one." The Inuzuka grinned victoriously. "What are you going to do now, Dobe?"

Looking over to Hayate, Naruto asked hopelessly. "I hope that soldier pills are against the rules…?"

At the head shake of _no, _Naruto pouted. "…Well, damn." The pout of his lips suddenly twisted up into a determined look. "Ah well! I don't need a _cheat _like something like that! I can defeat you on my own, without any help, _cheater._"

"It's not cheating!" Kiba yelled back, arm pointing at his opponent angrily. "Would you just shut up about that already!"

Naruto's casual and dismissive shrug had Kiba seething and attacking with reckless anger.

"Awww," cooed Alice, hands clasped endearingly under her chin. "Look at that! Naruto's caught some of mine and Kakashi-sensei's indifferent dismissal! I'm so proud!" Realistic sniffles came from her as she wiped away tears that had mysteriously started streaming down her face. "My little boy~! All grown up!"

Said little boy was currently getting the shit beaten out of him now. It was a complete one-eighty from what had been going on just a minute ago, and was very much like the canon; Alice was now wincing like she had done while watching this part online. A Gatsūga looked fucking painful, and Naruto was getting hit with them repeatedly; Alice did _not _envy Naruto at all right now. Not one bit.

"C'mon Naruto!" She called down to the blond as he stumbled away from the drilling attack that came from a transformed Akamaru who now looked like a feral Kiba. "Just hold on! You can do it!"

The blond didn't look at her at all, too busy dodging as many of the attacks as he could, but getting hit several times in the process. After several minutes of the painful performance, Kiba let up, gesturing Akamaru-Kiba to stop next to him.

"Is this what all your boasts have come to, Naruto?!" Kiba laughed mockingly at the trembling and beaten form of Naruto that was struggling upright metres away. "What a disappointment! With all your talk of becoming Hokage, I thought you would _at least _be able to dodge one or two of my attacks. But," he shrugged, "it seems like you are just all talk. Maybe, just maybe, I should take that title of Hokage right from you, huh?"

Naruto's head snapped up at that, cerulean eyes now hard as sapphires and even darker. "…No." The bitten out words were made dark by the blood streaming down the blond's face, dripping into his whisker marks and making them look more feral.

"No what?" Kiba mocked, head tilted to the side. "No what, Dobe?"

"No, you can't become Hokage," Naruto continued heatedly. "Because that's thetitle that's going to belong to _me. _And there's no way I'm going to let _anyone _take it from me! So don't you even _dare _to try and take it from me! Or I'll kick your ass so hard that you'll submit to me!"

"MAKE HIM YOUR BITCH!" Alice whooped excitedly, fist-pumping the air. "MAKE HIM BOW DOWN TO YOU, OH YEAH!" A sudden protesting hiss from Akemi on her perch of Alice's arm alerted the brunette of her companion's discomfort of the rapid shaking of her arm in a fist-pump. "Oops! Sorry, Akemi-chan!"

Down in the arena, Kiba flushed angrily from Naruto's passionate words and Alice's lewd comment. "S-shut up!"

Naruto shrugged dismissively again before reaching up behind his head to tighten his headband with a sharp sound of whispering fabric. "I'll show you just why you don't deserve the title of Hokage. You're going down now!"

The next part went exactly like canon; Naruto tricking Kiba by turning into Akamaru when he was punched and making Kiba hit the real Akamaru. He then launched into a furious tirade of taijutsu attacks against the Inuzuka, resulting in both of them beaten and bloody.

'I wonder what Naruto's going to do now?' Alice thought to herself. 'Since Sasuke didn't do his Lion combo, Naruto has no inspiration for his Uzumaki combo thingmium. So what'll he do now?'

_Thingmium?_

'Thingamagig. Whatever.'

_Idiot._

'Meh.'

Instead of doing a 'super awesome and super-secret attack' that Naruto had done in canon, Naruto surprised everyone by simply _overwhelming _Kiba into a state of submission before pulling out a scroll from his ninja pouch and retreating to a safe distance.

"Where are you running to?" Kiba panted out, eyes flickering between Naruto and the still downed form of Akamaru that lay nearby. "Are you just a scaredy-cat?"

Naruto's eyes narrowed at that comment, brain echoing with the comment with Sasuke on their trip to wave. "No, I'm not running. That's against my nindo, my ninja way! I'll never run or hide, I'll fight with my last breath and then some!" The blonde unsealed something from the scroll and held up a hand full of pellets.

"Smoke bombs?" Kiba scoffed scornfully. "What are you going to do with those?"

"Who said they were smoke bombs?" Naruto said with a gleam in his eyes. "From what I remember from playing pranks against you and your clan, you guys don't like strong smells, do you? I remember that because of that time I herded bulls into your clan houses gardens and they left you lovely surprises."

"That was you?!" Kiba yelped. "I couldn't get the smell out of my nose for weeks after, you ass!"

"Good." Naruto said shortly. "Now you'll get to experience that again with these stink pellets that I created." The blond grinned at Kiba's pale pallor before throwing down the pellets at Kiba's feet before he could move, unhealthy looking green smoke coming out of the ground from where they contacted.

A rasping, choking sound came from Kiba as the cloud darkened and thickened around him, the stench getting into his mouth and nose. Naruto stepped back, content to watch him gasp and wheeze for fresh air.

'Interesting,' mused Hayate from his position a safe distance away from the strongly scented cloud. 'He knew of the Inuzuka's weakness and acted accordingly. I didn't know that Uzumaki could plan ahead so well.' The proctor glanced up at the proud looking form of Kakashi on his perch up on the balcony before nodding thoughtfully to himself. 'Well, Kakashi-sempai _did _say that he was the number one surprising knuckleheaded ninja. I guess the surprising part won out here.'

"Luckily Alice-nee told me to pack some of my pranking supplies and gave me a scroll to seal them in," Naruto muttered to himself as he made some kage bunshin. "…It's almost like she knew that I would go up against Kiba, especially since she reminded me about their strong smelling senses…" The blond shrugged away his suspicions and pointed towards the slowly disappearing stink cloud, addressing his bunshin as he did so. "Go and apprehend him!"

"Aw man!" One of the bunshin whined. "I don't want to go into that stinky mess! That's gross!"

"Yeah!" agreed another one. "Why don't you go and do it, boss?" He asked the original accusingly. "Why do we have to go and do the dirty work?"

"I get your memories of the experience anyway," pointed out the original Naruto, "that's punishment enough, right?"

The five bunshin he created looked at each other before nodding unsurely. "I guess…"

"Then hop to it!" Naruto commanded, "before Kiba recovers!"

The kage bunshin moped a bit before heaving in massive breaths and rushing into the cloud of stink to beat up Kiba as fast as they could and not have to breathe in much of the disgusting scent.

After a few moments of surprised and pained yelps coming from the dispersing cloud of green, there was a large billow of white smoke that blew away the green gas and slowly disappeared to reveal the prone form of a severely beaten and barely conscious Kiba.

Naruto waved away the lingering memories of breathing in and choking on a horrible scent so that he could leap up in victory and yell out in excitement. "Yeah! I won!"

And Hayate's call of; 'winner: Uzumaki Naruto' only put icing onto the cake.

* * *

**Alice P.O.V.**

Heaving out a sigh, I rested my head on my crossed arms, my whole body pressed against the railing. It was nearly over. So close.

Sure, I hadn't really done much in the past two matches, but I was still tired. And guilty.

I had decided to let Hinata's and Neji's battle go ahead as it did in the series, but it wasn't like I could really do much. I offered shouts of support to Hinata alongside Naruto, and told my blond gaki that Hinata was always watching him, since Sakura wasn't here to do it for him. I may or may not have told him that she really admired him and he should ask her to train with him sometime…Just maybe.

Gaara's match against Lee had been rather brutal. It went exactly like the canon, but I hadn't realised just how brutal that match really had been, and Lee…wow, that kid was something. The way he had stood up and prepared to fight Gaara, even though he was _unconscious, _was truly inspirational. I think Naruto also took Lee's determination to heart, judging by the look on his face.

So, basically, there was one more match to go and I'm pretty sure that I'll be getting dragged into doing this since I'm the bloody foreigner and Chōji's an important (and _local_) clan heir.

Joy.

Sure enough, Hayate called us both down to the arena, and I let out one last forlorn sigh, handed an encouraging Naruto Akemi, before making my way down the steps to the arena so I could face the lovable, big-boned Akimichi. I really didn't want to verse Chōji. I didn't want to hurt someone as nice as him, especially since I wanted to make friends with him.

How the hell was I meant to make friends with someone by beating them up and fighting them? I wasn't fucking _Naruto _who can make anyone like him after destroying them in battle. I didn't have inspirational words that changed their view on life, making them regret and want to repent.

I couldn't do this!

"Will Akimichi Chōji please come down to the arena?" Hayate's voice cut across my thoughts, making me raise my head up to look up at an extremely hesitant Chōji talking with Asuma.

Watching them closely, I channelled some chakra to my ears to enhance their hearing, picking up on their words as I did so.

"…Sensei, I don't want to verse her."

"Why not, Chōji?"

"I-I'm scared…"

"Why are you scared?"

"…Didn't you see what she did to that Oto-nin? I-I just don't want that to happen to me…"

* * *

**3****rd**** Person P.O.V.**

Alice cut off the chakra to her ears. She had heard enough.

'Fuck!'

_Don't start._

'No, I'm going to just have a momentary breakdown in my head, the only place where people won't judge me.'

_I'm here though._

'You're not human, so cut off our connection and go skulk in the back of my mind, 'cause I'm seriously going to lose it right now!'

_Fine, go have your uncouth rant; but I'm keeping our connection going. It's not like I can really cut you off, just drown you out._

'Whatever…'

**(A/N: Seriously cover your eyes if you don't like swearing)**

'MOTHER-FUCKING SON OF A BITCH! WHY'D I HAVE TO FUCK EVERYTHING UP! I'M A FUCKING MENACE IN THIS WORLD AND I SWEAR TO KAMI I CAN'T EVEN MAKE FRIENDS! WHY CAN'T I FUCKING DO ANYTHING RIGHT?! GOD-IN-BLOODY-FUCKING DAMN IT! IS IT _**SO**_ HARD TO _AT LEAST SEEM _LIKE A NICE PERSON WITHOUT INDUCING FEAR IN PEOPLE?! FUCK MY LIFE AND EVERYBODY ELSE'S IN THIS WORLD! YOU CAN ALL CONTINUE WITH YOUR LIVES AND DIE IN THE WAR FOR ALL I CARE! YOU HAVEN'T DONE _ANYTHING _FOR ME ANYWAYS! BEING A FUCKING FOREIGNER AND ALL MEANS I DON'T GET **ANY FUCKING TRUST IN THIS WORLD!**'

To everyone else, Alice looked like she was merely bored waiting for Chōji to come down; her eyes were closed and her face perfectly blank. It definitely didn't look like she was having a raving, mental breakdown in her mind, unheard by all.

_Are you done yet?_

'AND YOU!'

_Me?_

'YOU HAVE DONE _NOTHING _TO HELP ME THROUGH THIS WHOLE PILE OF SHIT! **YOU'RE **THE ONE WHO DRAGGED ME OVER TO THOSE GOD-FORSAKEN WORLD, AND YET, YOU'VE DONE…oh, that's right…**FUCKING NOTHING FOR ME!** YOU'RE JUST SOME DICKHEAD WHO FUCKING _WALTZED _INTO MY LIFE, PICKED ME UP, AND JUST **DUMPED **ME INTO THIS WORLD, EXPECTING ME TO DO ALL THE WORK FOR YOU! WELL HERE'S A NEWSFLASH FOR YA DICKWAD; I NEVER WANTED TO COME HERE AND DO ANY OF THE JACKSHIT STUFF I'VE HAD TO DO! DO YOU THINK I LIKE BEING POISONED ON A REGULAR BASIS BY A WOMAN WHO COULD EASILY KILL ME?! DO YOU THINK I _LIKE _SHARING A HOUSE WITH A GUY WHO I _DESPISE _AND COULD KILL OH-SO-EASILY, IF ONLY TO FIX EVERYTHING IN ONE SWOOP AND TO GET RID OF HIM FROM PISSING ME OFF! DO YOU THINK I _FUCKING LIKE _NOT BEING ABLE TO SEE MY FAMILY AGAIN?! I HATE YOU! I HATE MY LIFE! I FUCKING WISH I COULD GO HOME RIGHT NOW AND FORGET THIS ALL HAPPENED! I JUST…I just…I want to go home…'

The was a heartbeat of silence, the encouragements from Asuma to Chōji, telling him to fight with promises of BBQ after, slipped into Alice's ears; but she didn't care anymore. She was tired and close to crying. Surprising as it was, Alice was only a fifteen-year old high schooler, devoid of _any _fighting training, who had been dragged _unwillingly _to a world full of killers, manipulators and people who distrusted her and whispered cruel gossip behind her back as she walked down the street.

She was definitely allowed to have _at least __**one **_moment of…just one moment to let everything out; even if it wasn't exactly satisfying since she was only yelling in her head and she couldn't go and punch anything.

"I'll ask Akimichi Chōji to come down to the arena again. You'll be disqualified if you don't accept the challenge to fight in the next minute." Hayate choked out a couple of coughs before looking over to a silent Alice. "Are you ready to fight, Clostar-san?"

The brunette's head picked up and she opened her eyes. Looking over to Hayate, she merely nodded in answer, frigid, dark green eyes boring into him.

"I forfeit!"

There were murmurs of dissent around the arena at Chōji's sudden forfeiture, and there were sounds of both Ino and Naruto yelling for Chōji to get down there, but the big-boned boy was adamant. He wasn't going to verse Alice if it meant he had to go to the hospital spassming and losing control of his bodily functions. No BBQ was worth two weeks of recovery.

"Contestant Akimichi Chōji has forfeited; Clostar Alice wins!"

At Hayate's yell, Alice merely nodded to him before heading up the stairs with a carefully blank look on her face, trying her best to keep it all in. No matter how hard life would get, she had sworn at a young age that she would try her best to not cry in front of people if she couldn't help it. There was an empty house just two hours away from now, waiting for her to go crying around in it. Sasuke would be in the hospital, according to Kakashi-sensei, for around four to five days, so she would have the Uchiha compound to herself for a couple of days. Something she was very happy about right now.

"Too bad Chōji didn't want to fight." Naruto's loud voice and hot hand clapping on her shoulder had Alice startle out of her blank expression. "I'm sorry, what?"

Naruto crinkled his nose. "You didn't get to fight again! That sucks!" A pensive look came over his face. "But then, that means…"

Rearing her head back, Alice prepared for the sudden 'empathy' that Naruto was certain to have now, accompanied by shouts and explosive gestures.

"You're in the finals of the Chunin Exams!" Naruto swept Alice up into an excited, bone-crushing hug. "You made it as well!"

Slightly dazed – because Naruto _never _gave hugs unless he asked permission (Alice believed it was because of the fact he never got hugs or was allowed to give hugs), and because she hadn't realised that she had made it into the finals – Alice patted Naruto on the back, hands limp.

"Maa, Naruto-chan." Strong hands pulled Alice out of Naruto's crushing hug and held her, dangling by her black coat, in the air. "You don't want to cut off her oxygen completely," Kakashi smiled disarmingly at Naruto from around Alice's dangling body, "that generally means that she'll die."

Ignoring Naruto's sudden wails of how he was sorry and that he hadn't wanted to kill her, Alice tilted her head back to look at Kakashi. "I love how you always seem to talk of my possible death with a smile. How many times have you done that this month?"

Kakashi dropped the girl and watched her, amused, as the girl landed in a half-hearted crouch and stood up with a stumble to her steps. "I couldn't even begin to count, Alice-chan, but both you and Naruto need to hurry up and get down to the arena, you're drawing billets to decide your match-ups in the finals."

"I'll get Sasuke's and Sakura-chan's, will I?" Alice asked as Naruto seized her wrist, shoved Akemi into her arms, and began to drag her down the stairs, following a slouching Shikamaru.

"No," said Kakashi, "I'll draw out Sakura's and the last available one will be Sasuke's."

"Okay," shrugged Alice, "that's cool." She succumbed to Naruto's pull and followed him easily down the stairs, both of them catching up to walk beside Shikamaru as Kakashi hovered behind them as a reassuring presence.

Alice smiled at something Naruto said with enthusiastic gestures and sound effects, but in her head it was less than stellar.

_I'm sorry._

'No. No you're not. You're a Death god with no emotions and no understanding of guilt or remorse; you're not sorry.'

_I know that that's the correct thing to say in this situation, is that not enough to say those words?_

'No! I don't want any fucking apologises that have no sincerity behind them! So don't _ever _say that to me, again!'

Alice stood in between Naruto and Shikamaru as the explanation for the finals began and Anko began to come around with a billet box.

…_If you wanted to know; your mind has snapped further._

'I already heard it snap, and I really don't give a fuck right now.'

…_But it is something to worry about. If your mind continues to snap and deteriorate-_

'I don't care! Shut up! I don't want to talk to you anymore!'

…_Fine. Don't come crying to me once you fail in stopping the invasion._

'Fuck off and go suck Jashin's dick.'

_Whatever…don't call me._

'I won't. Trust me on that. I don't need your help.'

_So you say..._

* * *

**Okay, so it was really short, incredibly late and probably not the best thing I could ever do, ever. And I'm really sorry about that. I'm just off on holidays and all I feel like writing is **_**From the Valleys to the Heavens**_**, so…you know how it is when you only have thoughts about one character and their storyline in your head? It's hard to focus on anything else. **

**Thanks for your wait and my long-time absence.**

**P.S. IMPORTANT: I am putting a poll up on my profile of the possible match-ups of the finals.**

**The people left are:**

**Sasuke **_**(But he's already going to verse Gaara, that's one of the match-ups that stay the same)**_

**Shino**

**Kankurō**

**Sakura**

**Temari**

**Shikamaru**

**Alice**

**Naruto **_**(But he shall verse Neji since destiny declares it so!)**_

**Neji **_**(He's with Naruto as I already said)**_

**Gaara **_**(Who's with Sasuke)**_

**Alice**

**So, I'll put a poll up and you can decide who fights who, or you can simply PM me or review it. Cheers for your patience and I'll try and see you soon!**


	25. Act 5 Part 1: One sensei, Two sensei

**Sup noobs, here's the product of your voting and I hope you enjoy the fights that shall come your way! I am just curious as to why you voted for these match-ups, they're very unique and not what I would've picked first myself. But it's not about me, it's about yous! So sit back and watch the magic happen.**

**(There's also an omake at the end!)**

* * *

**Disclaimer: **_Fucking Sasuke. If I owned Naruto, he'd be perfectly chill with having the war end. Maybe settle down in ANBU and be loyal to his Hokage, Namikaze-Uzumaki Naruto. But no! I don't own Naruto, so that's not going to happen!_

**Warning: **_PERVERSENESS! SO MANY PERVERTED MOMENTS! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!_

* * *

**Alice P.O.V.**

Shifting on my feet, I waited impatiently for Anko to reach me. The woman was taking her sweet time in getting the billet box, with the numbers that would decide our match-ups (or, as Neji would say, fates), to me.

I just _know _she's doing this on purpose! I can see her smirking! Bitch…

Anko gave me a wicked grin as she stopped in front of me, both of us ignoring Naruto's excited cries of getting his number to my right. "Here you are, gaki, take your pick."

I was in the middle of the collected group of genin, so my number was pretty uncertain right now. I could only hope that the results of the billets weren't too fucked up compared to the canon. Although, we were all in different positions, there were different people, and fate fucking hated me anyways; I doubted that anything would be similar to canon.

Dunking my hand into the small, black box, I rummaged around in the small pieces of paper that would (actually) determine my fate. I kept my gaze locked with Anko as I pulled one piece of paper out and held it close.

"Have fun," Anko purred before offering the box to Shikamaru who was on my left.

'Well, here goes nothing…' I slowly unfolded the tiny piece of paper and stared at the number before my eyes.

**4.**

4? Four was good. It was one of the numbers I liked. Even, a square root, the fastest lane in a swimming pool…yep, four was a good number. A safe number-

Except when you were in a tournament that required fighting someone until either you or they pass out, get injured so badly that you can't continue, or die.

Well, at this point, no number was safe, really.

"Alright!" Ibiki suddenly boomed from his ramrod-straight position in front of us, standing next to Sarutobi and Hayate. "When I call out a number and it's yours, step forward and announce so! Any tardiness or goofing around will not be tolerated. You hear me?!"

Seeing that no one was objecting, Ibiki continued on. "Okay then; number one!"

"That's me, dattebayo!" Naruto shouted from beside me, stepping forward with a grin as he thumbed at himself. "Number one, Uzumaki Naruto!"

"Shut up, gaki, and stand down! Number two!"

Down the line and to my left, Neji stepped forward, cool and calm as usual. "I am number two. Hyūga Neji."

"Number three!"

This time, Kankurō stepped up. "That'll be me; Sabaku no Kankurō."

'Fuck.' Was all I thought as Ibiki called out number four and I stepped forward in answer. "I am number four, Clostar Alice," I said before stepping back. 'Huh, I _so _didn't mean for that reference there, but it worked, so I'll keep it in mind until I can get alone and laugh about it without anyone looking at me oddly. Such is the life of someone who has a whole world of book and movie knowledge in their head and no one to share it with…'

"Number five?"

No one stepped forward.

Ibiki glared at everyone, waiting for someone to step forward. "Well? Who is number five? C'mon, I don't have all day. Would the idiot who has number five hurry up and step forward?"

"Ah," hummed Kakashi, who had stood behind me for the duration of the choosing of billets, only having moved to pick one up for Sakura. "That'll be Sasuke's. He isn't here, so he wasn't able to choose his billet."

Ibiki grunted in answer, "Uchiha is number five then. Next up, number six!"

"Sabaku no Gaara," came the quiet, rasping reply, Gaara barely treading forward from his position to my far right.

"Number seven!"

There was a pause before Kakashi made a sudden noise of mock surprise from behind me. "Oh, that's the number I have in my hands, how about that? Number seven is Haruno Sakura."

"Answer quicker next time, Hatake, we don't need dawdling here. Number eight!"

"Troublesome…" Shikamaru drawled from my left before stepping forward. "Nara Shikamaru."

"Number nine!"

"That's me." Temari stepped up from where she stood beside Kankurō. "Sabaku no Temari."

"Finally, number ten!"

"Aburame Shino," was the short and calm reply as Shino barely leaned forward before dropping back into line.

"Alright, gakis!" Boomed out Ibiki. "The next part of the Chunin Exams will occur one month from now! The time period is _meant _for you guys to use wisely – training to get your weak bodies stronger, preparing and such. So when the month is up, you will report to the stadium in the centre of the village to verse your match-up. The match-ups are as followed; match one: Uzumaki Naruto verses Hyūga Neji!

Match two: Sabaku no Kankurō verses Clostar Alice!

Match three: Uchiha Sasuke verses Sabaku no Gaara!

Match four: Haruno Sakura verses Nara Shikamaru!

And match five is: Sabaku no Temari verses Aburame Shino!"

There was a tense moment of silence as everyone looked at their opponents with a sense of challenge in their gaze and stance. I managed to catch Kankurō's gaze over Naruto's head, and we both nodded to each other in acknowledgement of our upcoming battle and each other's strengths.

Kankurō was a worthy opponent with his analytical skills and sound planning – if only he didn't forfeit when we got to the battles.

Well, if he didn't want to fight, I would have to convince him to.

* * *

**3****rd**** Person P.O.V.**

It was with the adrenaline rush of escaping the hospital (and it's horrible staff – do you know how scary a nurse in Konoha hospital is? They _will _restrain you if you try and get out of bed before your rest period is up. With ropes and chains if needed – chakra restraints if you're one, Hatake Kakashi.) that Sasuke entered the Uchiha compound and headed for home. He needed to grab some stuff before heading out to find Kakashi, who said that he was going to train the young Uchiha for the upcoming exams.

Idly wondering if Alice was home, or out with her other sensei, Sasuke approached his front door and opened it quietly. He kicked off his sandals and began to walk through the house, heading for his bedroom. If Alice was home, she would've yelled out or jumped him by now; her sensing ability meant she knew that he was coming home when he was entering the compound gates.

So Sasuke was very surprised when he walked past the kitchen and heard sounds echoing from behind the half-closed tatami doors.

Body at the ready, in case the person who had invaded his house attacked, Sasuke slid open the door as quietly as he could, the door barely whispering as it slid open the whole way.

The first thing that hit him was the smell; dust and stale air. Well, he _had _been away for over a week, and judging by the hints of dust that had covered the floor during his walk down the corridor, it hadn't been cleaned since he and Alice had left for the exams. Which was odd, since Alice, for all her hatred of cleaning, couldn't _abide _dust. She hated it with a passion she normally reserved for eggplants and Brussel sprouts.

The second thing that caught Sasuke's attention was the fine layer of papers that covered everything in the kitchen. Some were crumpled balls, others were simply overflowing onto the floor from the stacks of blank paper that stood on the kitchen counter and dining room table. Some of the papers had only a few words scribed here or there and then mercilessly dashed out by angry brush strokes. There were pages upon pages of kanji and katakana that had been written across the pieces of paper, repeating themselves over and over, like someone was trying to memorise them.

The main collection of paper was on the dining table, the paper mostly crumpled there, along with a massive stack of paper that swayed and tottered every few seconds, due to the puffs of breath that Alice was breathing out with every one of her mumbled words.

The brunette could barely be seen behind the mild mat that was her hair and the stacks of paper in front of her. The girl was writing down feverously on a piece of paper, from what Sasuke could glimpse as he carefully walked over the paper towards her. The paper she was writing on was already filled with words, well, Sasuke assumed they were words, as they were in a script that he had never seen before. Alice continuously glanced up at several books that were open in front of her, eyes following a few passages, before they darted back down to the paper and she began writing again.

Suddenly, Alice flicked the ink-stained brush she was using up with a loud exclamation, and held the piece of paper up in front of her so she could study the swirling mass of words and sketches. "I think I've got it!"

"Got what?" Sasuke drawled coolly, crossing his arms across his chest as he leant back against the kitchen wall beside Alice, carelessly standing on the papers Alice had worked so hard on.

"AHHHH!" Alice let off a piercing scream and dropped her paper and brush (which splattered ink all over her, not like there wasn't already a whole bunch covering her), twisting in her seat to see who had snuck up on her, and failing by falling out of her chair.

Sasuke held in a snicker and schooled his expression so he could properly reprimand the girl who had messed up his kitchen. "What are you doing, Alice? You've messed up my kitchen."

"I'm sorry," the girl panted out as she struggled to get out of the tangle of her own limbs and stand up. "I've just gotten a bit into this…task I've set myself. I must've lost track of time some." Alice flopped back down on her chair and rubbed her eyes tiredly, "I should probably go to bed, I've been working on this without any breaks and my vision's beginning to swim."

Taking in the mass of paper, Sasuke could _definitely _say that this wasn't a mess of only a few hours, and Alice's footprints wouldn't have been covered by dust if she had only been working in the kitchen for _a few hours. _Also, it was ten in the morning, hardly the time to go to bed.

"Alice?"

At the call of her name, Alice glanced up at Sasuke as she picked up her brush and placed it into the inkwell by her elbow. "What is it?" The girl was rather taken aback by the scrutinising look on her housemates face. "What! Do I have ink on my face, or something?"

'Did she have ink on her face?' Sasuke thought with some humour and exasperation as she took in the black blotches that were all over the girls face, her body, and her clothes. But he merely grunted in answer and looked over the girls face some more.

Alice's usually 'tamed' spiky hair that was almost always up in some sort of ponytail was a mess, to say the least. It was bushy, frizzy and falling all over her face in its free form. The messy hair framed a rather pale face; Alice's face had the sort of sunken and pale look that someone got when they didn't go in the sun for a long period of time. The massive black bags under Alice's _way _too wide eyes confirmed Sasuke's belief that Alice had been simply sitting here, writing, for a lot longer than a few hours (maybe more like a day) and that she had gotten no sleep during that time.

"When was the last time you slept?" Sasuke asked the girl flatly.

"Umm…" Alice scratched her bushy hair thoughtfully as she tried to put the papers on her table in some order. "Last night? The night when the preliminaries finished. You're versing Gaara, by the way."

"I know," Sasuke said shortly. "Alice, it's been _four days _since the preliminaries. Have you even eaten or moved since you sat down and did…_this?"_

Alice sat there for a moment, dumbfounded, before exploding into motion. "Crap! Oh double crap!" The girl wailed as she leapt out of her chair and began scrambling for certain papers, all of which had a green tag on top of the page, showcasing their difference and importance. "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck! I'm so far behind schedule now! That's three days lost! Oh, I didn't plan for this! Not at all! I'm going have to move some things up and cut things down…Ero-sennin would have him now…maybe help out there…Gai-san…Tenten?...might help with the frying pan…" The girl continued to mutter to herself as she scrabbled around for her needed papers, slipping on the other papers under her feet, seemingly unaware of Sasuke's presence once more.

The Uchiha closed his eyes momentarily, trying to push down his irritation, before his hand whipped out and cracked Alice solidly on the back of her head as she dashed past in search for another paper.

"Oww…!" Alice managed to hold onto her papers as she placed her hands against the back of her sore head, whirling around to glare at Sasuke. "What the hell was that for!"

"You need to go and eat, sleep and _then _do whatever the hell it is that you're doing." Sasuke kicked at some of the papers on the ground. "And clean this up while you're at it. What the hell were you doing with all of these papers?"

Alice blinked at him blankly before regaining some of her animation. "Oh! I was practising my katakana and kanji so I can write my seals better. Then I began sketching out ideas for my seals. Then I began writing them up. And then I began making some plans for my match against Kankurō. I guess I might've gotten a bit carried away when I was practising." Alice laughed nervously, eyes darting around to take in the mess of papers and ink splotches that she had accidently created.

"You think?" Sasuke deadpanned. "Anyway, clean this mess up before you go and sleep. I don't want to come home to a mess next time I return."

"Oh yeah," Alice said as she picked up the last of her papers, "you're going for the month with Kakashi-sensei up in the mountains on special one-on-one training, right?"

"So Kakashi told you," Sasuke said as he waded through the puddle of papers to get to one of the cupboards to grab some food to pack since he was going away for a month. "What about you? Why hasn't your sensei seen you missing for four days and grabbed you?"

"I don't have a sensei," Alice replied as she dragged the kitchen bin out from its place in the corner and began stuffing papers into it. "Anko was a proctor in the exams and, as such, she can't teach me since she could 'tell me important info that other people aren't privy to.' Stupid really."

"Well what the hell are you going to do this month?" Asked Sasuke.

"I have my own individual research I need to do," said Alice, "I need to create some seals to counteract Kankurō's puppets, and I want to study up on some more poisons, since he will definitely cover his puppet's weapons in the stuff. I may have a fairly good tolerance now – thanks to Anko's snakes and her shoving highly poisonous stuff down my throat every now and then – but I should also whip up some antidotes; and that will take some time as I'm no master at creating poisons and antidotes yet."

Pausing briefly to spit some (noticeably greasy – ew) hair out of her mouth, Alice continued to lie out her plans for the month. "But I'm also going to beg off some training from other people who don't have students, or have too much free time on their hands."

"Like who?" Sasuke asked as he began stacking perishables on the paper covering the kitchen counter.

"I'll ask Gai-san, since Lee is in the hospital, Tenten isn't in the finals, and I know Neji will be training on his own since he uses his clan's jutsus and taijutsu style – something that Gai-san can't help him with. I'm going to ask Gai-san to help me some more with strengthening my taijutsu, and myself in general – I'll probably ask him to set me up with a training regime. I might also ask Tenten for some help with my kenjutsu skills, with my frying pan, that is. She's a _genius _with _any _weapon!"

Sasuke frowned at this. It didn't seem right for Alice to call someone a genius. She often said that he was nowhere near a genius – since genius were 'smart enough to be able to learn jutsus on their own and not copy them,' as Alice said – and for her to call some regular, underclass, clanless kunoichi a _genius_ was just an insult to him.

"I bet I'm better," came tumbling out of Sasuke's mouth before he could stop it, and it made Alice turn to him with an odd look on her face. "Did you just…? Never mind. You weren't there for Tenten's match with Temari; she used so many weapons it made my head spin! And she also used this cool seal…! Maybe I should ask Tenten for some help with seals…nah, I'm going to ask Naruto's sensei for help there. He'll have some books and tips to help me out there…"

"Who's Naruto's sensei?" Sasuke demanded.

"Why?" Alice cocked a brow at him as she shoved more paper into the bin, starting to make a dent now in the mass of discarded white. "Jealous? Besides," she said over Sasuke's words, "I wouldn't tell ya. Its Naruto's business, and not yours to go sniffing around in. So back off, Uchiha."

"Fine," Sasuke reluctantly said, curiosity at who was Naruto's sensei burning. "I'm going now, after I change."

"Cool," Alice said as she pushed a few more papers into the brimming bin, "that hospital outfit _really _doesn't work for you, ya know? The pale grey-blue doesn't go well with your already pale complexion, it washes you out." The girl didn't wait for an answer as she picked up the bin and headed out to chuck it in the recycling bin – that she had set up – that was outside the house.

Supressing the urge to roll his eyes, Sasuke breezed past Alice, arms full of food. "Before you go outside, you might want to put some pants on."

"What?" Startled, Alice placed the bin down so she could hike up the black trenchcoat – the one she had been wearing for four days straight since putting it on in the preliminaries – that she wore over her chest bandages and mesh vest, to show fluorescent orange underwear. "Huh, when did I lose my pants?" The girl dropped down her trenchcoat and went to pick up the bin again, when a thought suddenly occurred to her and she spun around to catch Sasuke before he could finish walking up the stairs to turn the corner to head to his room. "Oi, Sasuke!"

The Uchiha turned to face her, one eyebrow delicately raised. "What?"

"How the fuck did you know I wasn't wearing any pants?" Alice pointed an accusing finger at Sasuke and her voice was heated, but her expression was amused as she spoke.

Sasuke's face tried its best to flush, but the Uchiha fought it down and replied coolly. "You should really make sure you're wearing pants before you bend over like that." And with that, Sasuke turned around and steadily marched up to his bedroom; trying his best to remove the blush that was spilling across his pale cheeks and the image of Alice's _short, _black trenchcoat rising up as she bent down, revealing an orange clad behind.

A wicked grin crossed Alice's face as she peered up after the Uchiha, not feeling any embarrassment about showing off her half-clad lower-half to someone – least of all her housemate. "Oh you _little pervert…_"

* * *

**First sensei: Maito Gai**

Oh, Alice was definitely in the right place. She could hear shouting from here, accompanied by loud cracks and crunches of trees snapping and ground being broken up. Yep, the shouts of 'YOUTH!' just cemented her assurance that this was where Maito Gai trained, even without the instructions of a very doubtful Genma – he didn't understand why a young lass would go looking for Gai for any reason, either than to be subjected to an hour or two of YOUTHFUL SHOUTING!

Peeking around a tree that was situated near the inner ring of the training ground, Alice let out a bit of her chakra in a small pulse, meant to let Gai know that someone was near and was letting him know of them purposely as they needed to associate with him.

Almost instantly, the Green Beast was in front of a startled Alice, teeth gleaming as he stood strongly. "What youthful blossom has wandered into the path of the great Green Beast of Konoha?!" His eyes narrowed as he took in the brunette in front of him, recognising the black trenchcoat and mesh shirt with shorts Alice had begun sporting.

"Clostar Alice, Gai-san." Alice bowed to the taijutsu master to show her respect. "We have met once before, I believe."

"You were at the Chunin Exams, were you not?" Gai boomed out, stroking his chin in a thoughtful manner. "You are one of Kakashi's pupils."

"Partially," Alice agreed, "the other moments I belong to Anko-nee."

"Ah yes! The youthful Anko!"

"Hmm…yeah, youthful…that's not something I'd use to describe her. More like surprising and eccentric."

"Those are just words that all fit under the most youthful word of _youthful!"_

"An odd point of view, but I'll accept it. Now, Gai-san, I do not wish to be rude, but I am on quite a tight time schedule that I am already well behind in, so would you mind saying yes or no to my request right now. It would be beneficial to us both if we cut our losses quickly; you are training and I do not wish to intrude; I am trying my hardest to cram a lot of knowledge and training in before the finals of the Chunin Exam."

Gai lit up in a blinding grin in answer, one hand coming off his waist to turn into an energetic thumbs up. "It will be my pleasure, Alice-kun, to help you out! What is it that you wish to ask of me?"

After mumbling a rather bemused and pleased 'Alice-kun?' the brunette in question replied. "I wish to ask your help in my physical training. Even if it is just suggesting some activities that I should do to give me a boost, that would be most helpful, Gai-san. I simply need training in speed and evasive skill, as well as stamina. Strength isn't necessary and my flexibility is _very _strong since I learn Hebi-style under Anko-nee's tutelage."

Taking a moment to process Alice's request, Gai nodded as he thought over the possibilities. "I think I have a good arrangement, Alice-kun, to offer you. My cute pupil, Lee, is in the hospital, and that is where he shall stay for many months more." At this, Gai became solemn, his normally bright personality dimming to a mere spark. "I have no students to teach as of now, since Neji is off training on his own and Tenten is helping him out at most times, and the other times she is busy training herself; she became very youthful in her own kenjutsu training after being defeated by Temari of Suna."

"I'm sorry, Gai-san," Alice said quietly, actually meaning her words. "About Lee, I mean. He is an amazing person, truly inspiring, and I don't say such things lightly. I am sure he will be out training in what he loves soon; maybe not this month, or next month, but soon. His youthfulness will be set ablaze once more and he will bring the springtime of youth to Konoha again. Until then, I believe I will pay him a few visits. It would not hurt either of us. I hope you may ask him for his permission for my entry to his room, I do not wish to intrude."

Gai was quiet once more. His thoughts racing as he tried to pick out any double meanings to her words; but there were none. "Such honest words!" Gai's eyes began to moisten, shining brightly through the layer of tears. "Your words have brought me to tears!" He lunged forwards to pick the girl off the ground in a massive bear hug, sobbing over the laughing girls shoulders. "I will help you, Alice-kun, to ignite your own fires of youth so that you may aspire to be like my beloved pupil, Lee!"

"Really?!" Alice let out a happy squeal before returning the taijutsu master's hug with a large amount of enthusiasm. "Thank you so much, Gai-san! I won't let you, or Lee, down!"

Placing the excited girl down, Gai gave her another thumbs up when he stood back up. "You may call me sensei from now on, Alice-kun!"

"Hai, Gai-sensei!" Chirped Alice happily. "Now, when does the youthful training begin and end?"

"We may start at four in the morning!" Gai nodded sagely. "It is a most youthful hour! And we shall end at…you said you had other obligations, did you not, Alice-kun?"

"Yes, I did, Gai-sensei."

"Well then, we shall end at ten! Six hours of taijutsu shall be enough, won't it?"

Internally blanching at the long hours, Alice outwardly pumped her head up and down in agreement, excited look plastered to her face. "That will be most youthful, Gai-sensei!"

"Ah, Alice-kun, I have a feeling that this training will go very well!"

'_I hope so too, Gai sensei…I really do hope.'_

**First sensei Maito Gai: enlisted!**

* * *

**Second sensei: Tenten**

It was the sounds of, not shouting and breaking trees, but of a crisp snapping of wind and a solid thud that indicated something was being thrown at trees or targets. 'Definitely Tenten,' Alice observed before trotting out of the trees to stand behind Tenten.

Curiously, Alice flared her chakra to announce her presence, but Tenten didn't even flinch. 'Not much of a chakra sensor…Well, Gai wouldn't have put much into that aspect of being a shinobi. He's already got Neji on his team, so he wouldn't really need a sensor since he has the Byakugan.'

Knowing from experience that, when you startled a shinobi while they're training, you're likely to get hurt, Alice tugged her frying pan off her back and held it at the ready. She then coughed lightly to get Tenten to turn around.

And turn around Tenten did.

The girl pivoted on her foot at a ridiculous speed and flung the kunai she had in her hands at whoever had interrupted her training by sneaking up on her. It was a reflex, really, and the girl instantly regretted it when she realised it wasn't Neji or her sensei sneaking up on her – not like Gai could be especially quiet at most times.

Alice deflected the first few kunai with flicks and twists of her wrists, dodging whatever ones she didn't bat away. "I'm sorry for startling you, Tenten-san!"

"Ah!" The girl with the buns held her hands up and stammered out her own apology. "Oh geeze! I'm sorry about that. It was a reflex, I swear!"

"It's okay," Alice laughed out as she managed to catch the last kunai and toss it up and down in her left hand. "I probably should've expected that – Kami knows it's happened heaps of times already with Sasuke…"

"You know Sasuke?" Tenten said curiously, before actually taking the time to assess just who she was talking with. "Oh! You're that girl from just before the first part of the exams…!"

"Clostar Alice," Alice supplied helpfully, stepping forwards to shake Tenten's hand after handing back her kunai. "It's a pleasure to meet you. Again."

Tenten laughed at that, sounding slightly nervous and apologetic as she pocketed the kunai and returned the handshake. "What can I do for you, Alice?"

"Well, Tenten-san I don't-"

"Just Tenten. Please."

Alice smiled at the other girl, pleased that she wouldn't have to be polite with honorifics here. "Well, just Tenten, I don't mean to intrude, but I was hoping that you might be able to help me out."

"Oh?" Tenten raised an eyebrow at this. "What can I help you with, Alice?"

"Well," Alice began uncertainly, hefting her frying pan into view, "this here is-"

"A frying pan?" Interrupted Tenten, looking confused. "Why do you have a frying pan?"

"It's my weapon," Alice said, slightly embarrassed. "You see, it's got a coating of chakra-channelling metal on it that allows me to channel me chakra, obviously."

"How did you get chakra metal?" Breathed Tenten, sounding awed and looking upon the frying pan with new light. "I only have a few weapons that completely channel my chakra and they were really expensive!"

"I got this for free, actually," admitted Alice, "the weapons shopman dropped a frying pan into a vat of the liquid metal and it hardened before he could get it out, making it useless as a kitchen appliance. He didn't want it, so I took it off his hands. It's really quite good," Alice rubbed her fingers across the handle of the frying pan, "but, unfortunately, I don't have much experience in wielding it. Or with weapons in general…So, I was hoping that you might be able to instruct me to someone who may be able to help me, or any books or scrolls that could instruct me. I had figured that you would be the best person to ask since you're _really _experienced with weapons and you seem to know a heck load about them!" Alice looked at Tenten with pleading eyes, "can you help me at all?"

Tenten hummed thoughtfully, reflecting on the pros and cons, as well as her own training schedule and her time spent with Neji. She didn't have much free time…and she wasn't as experienced with blunt force weapons, rather than her usual cutting weapons… "I'll help you out," she said finally. "I have some scrolls that you can look over, and I'm free on Saturdays from one 'til three. You can meet me here then and I'll instruct you."

"Thank you so much!" Alice bowed deeply to the girl. "I won't let you down!"

"We'll see," said Tenten, "but is this only for the exams, or for an extended period of time? I know you got to the finals, so I expect that is the time period you want to work for."

Alice considered it for a moment before nodding. "That would be fine, Tenten. I don't wish to intrude on you too much."

Tenten easily waved her comments off. "If you were wasting my time, I wouldn't have offered to help you!"

"Wise words," Alice agreed easily. The brunette suddenly perked up, "I nearly forgot!" She slung the frying pan back over her shoulder and began rummaging in one of the pouches that hung off her belt. "No…not here. This one?"

Tenten watched curiously as the girl continued to rummage through her pouches, before turning to the pockets of her trenchcoat. It was in the left one that Alice found whatever she was looking for. "Aha!" Alice pulled out a small bundle of papers, all slips that were barely bigger than her hand. "These are for you, for helping me out!"

Rather bemused now, Tenten accepted the slips of paper offered to her. "What's this for-" The girl's eyes widened as she felt the paper. "These are…!"

"Chakra conducting paper," Alice said smugly, arms crossed over her chest. "Those are explosive tags that I've tweaked at. I noticed that you used store-bought ones, and although they are pretty good, I've found some of them can be faulty. My ones also have a larger blast radius, and a lot more fire and a lot less smoke, for purely offensive and defensive purposes, rather than a smoke screen to get away. You can just buy a smoke bomb if you want a smoke screen." The girl would've continued to babble if she wasn't cut off by a massive squeal that echoed out from Tenten's lips.

"Thank you so much! Thank you! Thank you! _Thank you!_ You don't know how long I've been trying to attempt to make my own explosive tags have a bigger explosion! I stopped using them and went back to store-bought ones since I was having no success! This is amazing!"

"I can teach you how to make them at some point during our sessions," Alice shyly said, "it's in katakana and kanji, rather than my home script, so I can easily teach you."

Tenten let out another squeal before launching herself at the slightly older girl, wrapping her up in a hug. "Thank you again! I promise to train you to the best of my abilities!"

"And I promise to learn to the best of _my _abilities," Alice laughed back, returning the hug. "It's an agreement!"

**Second sensei Tenten: enlisted!**

* * *

**Third sensei: Jiraiya of the Sannin**

"Whatever you want, I'm not interested."

Alice blinked at the rather abrupt dismissal from Jiraiya before he could even look at her. She hadn't flared her chakra this time she approached a prospective sensei, instead, she had simply walked up to the man where he was peering with binoculars through a hedge at – by the sounds of it – a bunch of girls frolicking in the nearby waterfall. Alice could also hear loud exclamations and curses further down the river bend and out of sight from where she was standing; assumedly, it was Naruto.

"I beg your pardon," Alice finally said, "I didn't mean for any offence. I'll take my leave."

At hearing a most definitely feminine voice – and not of Naruto's oiroike no jutsu – Jiraiya turned excitedly, mouth already gaping open at the prospect of drooling over a woman.

He didn't know whether or not to be disappointed or excited at seeing Alice standing in front of him.

The girl had a confident aura around her, something that Jiraiya found nice in a woman, but she (unfortunately) wasn't showing off her assists in that confident stance. The _girl _was fairly tall with long, tanned legs barely hidden under shorts and a toned body from what he could glimpse through the midriff mesh shirt she was sporting, as well as the black trenchcoat she was wearing over that. It was definitely ill-fated that the girl's rather generous chest was bandaged tightly, lessening the swell of them and the view he could get when the girl bowed deeply to him.

"I'm sorry, again, for intruding on you, Jiraiya-sama. But before I leave, may I greet Naruto? I simply wish to encourage him in his training for the finals. I haven't seen him in a week and I'm sure he hasn't had any Ichiraku ramen during the time period, having probably trained 'til he dropped." The brunette laughed, and Jiraiya was surprised by how well she could time her laughter, not making it seem fake.

"Oh?" The Sannin cocked his brow and leant back on the balls of his feet before standing upright, towering over the girl by a head and a bit. "What's a pretty lady like you doing here? And you know that little gaki of mine, how odd."

"Mightily," the girl agreed with a smile. "I am here…well, do you want the truth, or some hemming and hawing? You are a busy man, Jiraiya-sama, so I believe you might want the truth."

"So you know of me?" Jiraiya continued to scrutinise the girl, noting that, although she had the physique and stance of a shinobi, she had no headband.

"Of course. You are Jiraiya of the Sannin. Great Toad Sage and current holder of the Toad summoning contract. Your ex-teammates are Senju Tsunade, world renowned medic, and Orochimaru, S-class missing-nin, from Konoha itself. And," the girl's face got a shadowed and mischievous look, "the man that attacked Naruto-chan and his team during the second part of the Chunin Exams."

Jiraiya's hackles were instantly raised by the way that she spoke of Orochimaru and how much information she was sprouting off so easily; but he played it off, merely picking his binoculars off the ground. "Aren't you informed, pretty lady."

"You have to be to survive as a shinobi," the girl replied shortly, eyes amused. "My name is Clostar Alice, Jiraiya-sama, it's a pleasure to meet you." The girl – Alice – bowed to Jiraiya again.

"The pleasure is all mine," replied Jiraya smoothly, taking Alice's right hand – which wasn't bandaged, like the other hand, something else that Jiraiya carefully noted – and placing a chaste kiss on the back of it.

"How gentlemanly," Alice drawled, not swooning or feeling repulsed by the elder man's actions. "Quite a well versed man, aren't you, Jiraiya-sama?"

Jiraiya simply grinned back in answer. "And you're quite a shrewd girl, aren't you, Alice-chan? Now, are you going to tell me why you're really here? I know that you're not just here to see Naruto, so what's your other motive?"

"Nothing can get through a spy master, I see," sighed Alice before she dropped cross-legged in front of Jiraiya, the Sannin following not too shortly after. "So you know I'm a spy master as well? Nothing seems to get by you."

"I like to read," shrugged Alice, "but we're not here to talk about my habits."

"Unless you want to," Jiraiya said with a suggestive wiggle of his eyebrows.

The first real look of amusement that Jiraiya had seen so far came across Alice's face, lightening up the – now that he looked at her face closely – abnormally tired face. "I'm afraid I will have to turn you down on your offer, Jiraiya-sama, I definitely wouldn't satisfy your needs there. Still a flowered girl, I am. Zero experience. Well," the girl looked pensive, "until Anko-nee decides to finally teach me some tricks…"

Jiraiya had to sniff back globule of blood at the thought of Anko, super sexy and _feisty _Anko, romping around in bed as she taught the girl before him. "So you're going into seduction? Isn't that a bit of a rough area for a girl as innocent as you?"

At this, Alice broke into an uproar of laughter, shoulders shaking as she snorted and chuckled. After a moment, she calmed down again. "I never said I was innocent, Jiraiya-sama. That would mean I was clueless about the whole topic of sex."

"I thought you said Anko was going to teach you," Jiraiya asked.

"The physical actions," Alice agreed, "but she's given some books for me to read. Specifically," the girl grinned as she fished around in one of her pouches and drew out a scroll, "this work of art." Alice unsealed a collection of books from the scroll, pawing through various tomes – _A Thousand and One Poisons and Where To Find Them. Which End of The Kunai Points Where? – _until she found a very familiar orange book.

"Icha Icha Paradise?" Jiraiya asked, his mind not on the book, but on the fact that the girl knew fuinjutsu.

"Yep," Alice said, flipping the book idly in her hands, "a very well written piece of work. Not cliché _at all _in the sex scenes or dialogue. That's something that's rather rare."

Jiraiya grinned at the compliment. "I _am _a master of the pen!"

"So you are," agreed Alice as she placed the books back on the scroll and sealed them back up.

"You know how to do fuinjutsu," said Jiraiya. It wasn't a question, it was a statement. The girl had at least _some _knowledge in the art; the evidence was right in front of him!

"Yes," Alice established, "that's why I went looking for you, so that you may help me."

"And how did you know I was here?" Jiraiya asked slightly defensively.

"I am very close with the Hokage, so that might have something to do with it, and since you told him of your whereabouts." Alice held Jiraiya's gaze as she spoke, emerald eyes boring into eyes of a dark shade. "He told me that you were here since I asked him who Naruto's sensei was, and why exactly I could sense such a large and potent chakra signature in Konoha."

"A chakra sensor as well," Jiraiya commented, "you're an odd combination." As Alice nodded in reply, Jiraiya got onto a more obvious topic. "Why are you coming to me for aid in fuinjutsu? I mean, I'm a master in the subject, and there would be no one else better to ask, but you know I'm teaching Naruto, and what help would it be to you? It would be better to go and look over the basics, girly."

"Don't patronise me," snapped out Alice, suddenly rather angry and insulted. "Don't you dare try that crap with me. You've probably dropped a lot of possible students in your time, more so after your pupil, the Yondaime's death; but don't even _think _of trying to brush me off so _rudely. _I can't stand people who patronise someone as they brush them off, especially someone they don't know." Alice glowered at the Sannin, eyes sparking. "So if you don't wish to waste any more time on me, let me know now, so I can stop wasting _my own _time here!"

Jiraiya remained quiet for a moment, solemn at the girl's words and the mention of his greatest pupil's death. Until he was suddenly wracked with laughter. "Ah, kiddo! That's the first time in a while that I've seen a girl with spitfire like you! Rarely do girl's stand up for _themselves, _rather than their body, around me. It's quite refreshing, to say the least." The shinobi wiped some laughter tears from his eyes and swallowed down the last of his chuckles. "You remind me a lot of Tsunade-hime in this moment. You both have the same determination to get your way and you aren't afraid to stick your neck out to get it."

"You were going so well with that cool and composed façade you had going on there," continued Jiraiya, his posture now completely relaxed. "But you don't have enough experience holding it, do you?"

Alice shrugged in answer, dropping all pretence. "It worked on Orochimaru."

"So you _did _verse Orochimaru," concluded Jiraiya. "I asked the old man if it was true that Naruto and his other gaki teammates versed Orochimaru, and he replied that they had, and that you had also joined them. But he wasn't exactly sure if you were there, really, he just heard Naruto say it in a passing comment when he reported the story back to him."

"Yeah," Alice said lazily, "I was there at the end of their face off. I had a lovely chat with your old teammate, great bloke, isn't he?"

Jiraiya chuckled again, "not the words I would use to describe him, but alright." The man's expression got more serious again, his gaze boring into Alice's. "So you want to learn fuinjutsu?" At Alice's nod he continued. "Tell me, what are your capabilities so far?"

The brunette sighed before beginning to list off her accomplishments in the subject. "I have now learnt my katakana and a fair amount of kanji needed for the subject; I'm a foreign and this isn't my first language, so don't laugh at me for only just learning how to write. I am skilled with a brush and Anko's had a couple of…sessions in helping me perfect my handwriting – I had to write out ten pages per night about how _awesome _she is, for a month!"

Jiraiya gestured her to continue, not amazed by the girl's talents as yet – seemed like someone who just picked up a brush and painted some words, calling it fuinjutsu.

"My first attempt in creating a seal ended up with me making a seal that masks almost your entire presence." Alice pulled out a stack of papers from one of her coat pockets, rifling through them until she found one with a circle with a radius on it, meaningless scribble around it– to Jiraiya, at least. "It's in a five metre radius and completely cloaks you by sight, smell and sound," Alice continued. "People can still sense your chakra, unfortunately, so I might have to work on that…"

Taking the seal from Alice, Jiraiya looked over the seal, noting the strange scribbles once more. "What's this writing on it?"

"My home language; English," Alice supplied, already going through other seals in the stack of papers in her hand. "I use it occasionally on seals because there are ditties I can use from that language in writing the clause of the seal, and so people don't know the purpose of the seal."

"Genius," Jiraiya grudgingly said, getting interested in the girl's skills now. "What else you got?"

"I have containment seals," Alice laid out a bunch of seals, this time, in Japanese. "Hokage-oyaji got me a beginner's book on fuinjutsu, so this seal is from that book. Along with my explosive seals." Alice tossed down some seals that looked a lot like regular explosive seals, only, they had some of the _English _inscribed in various parts of it, replacing certain components.

"These aren't regular explosive seals," accused Jiraiya, picking one of the seals up and looking at the foreign parts closely. "What are the changes for? You've replaced parts of the explosive segments. Why?"

"It's to make the seal more 'explosive' and dangerous," said Alice, "rather than a simple boom and smoke. Now there's barely any smoke and a lot more BOOM!"

Jiraiya laughed quietly at the girl's enthusiasm before standing up with one of the seals clutched in his hands. "I'll have to see it for myself, won't I?" He began to wander over to the river, Alice following closely behind him, only hesitating slightly as when she stepped out onto the water and wobbled.

Applying the seal to one of the numerous rocks out in the middle of the river, Jiraiya began to back up quickly, forcing Alice to drop back onto the shore. "How are these activated?" Jiraiya asked the brunette, eyes scrutinising the barely seen slip of paper. He had to say, without the usual band of red around the outside of the paper, the explosive seal was _a lot _less noticeable. "And how do you not mix up the seals?"

"The explosive seal you put down is a self-activated one," replied Alice, "but it's keyed only into the chakra of whoever placed it down. In this case; yours. You just need to put your hands in a tora sign and say katsu! And with my seals, I can tell which is which by feeling the chakra I've placed in them. They all flow through the seal differently, depending on the composition of the seal's cortex, and each type requires a different amount of chakra in it."

Nodding at the points that Alice made and informed him about, Jiraiya raised his hands up in a tora sign and yelled out for the seal to explode.

Instantaneously, the chakra in the seal swelled up and exploded out in a burst of force and flames, shattering the rock it was on and several others surrounding it. The flames sizzled and boiled the water as it fanned out, the flames nearly reaching the two people standing on the bank of the wide river.

"Damn," Alice remarked as the flames nearly brushed her face and the heat washed over her, "it never gets old to see shit get blown up."

"You've got that right, kiddo," Jiraiya agreed, taking in the gap in the river that was slowly filling in with water again. "Not a bad seal you've got there."

"ERO-SENNIN! ERO-SENNIN!"

The loud voice had both Alice and Jiraiya turning to their right expectantly, waiting for the blond boy who had yelled out to get close enough to talk to. _Normally._

"Ero-sennin!" Squawked Naruto again. "What the hell have you done now? Blowing stuff up!" The blond seemed to be working himself up into a rant until he noticed that there was someone else with his sensei. "Alice-nee?"

"Big sister?" Jiraiya exclaimed, turning to Alice, "I didn't know about that part!"

"I adopted him recently," Alice said breezily before stepping forward a couple of steps to sweep Naruto into a big hug. "Hey there, Naru-chan! Did ya miss me!"

"What are you doing here?" Naruto said in reply. "Have you come to watch me do awesome ninja training?!"

"Nah," Alice placed the excited boy down so that she could grin down at him, "I was harassing your sensei for some help."

"Why would you want help from someone as old as Ero-sennin?" Naruto asked confusedly, scrunching his face up at the thought of actively pursuing someone as old as Jiraiya – even though he had done so himself.

Alice snickered over Jiraiay's protests, "Oyaji is old, yet he's the most powerful person in this village! Think about it for a moment, sunshine." The girl snickered some more before reaching into one of her pouches to pull out another scroll. "That reminds me; I've got something for you!" The girl knelt down to unseal the scroll on the grass, six bowls of ramen appearing, steaming in their take-away bowls.

"Yatta!" Naruto happily screamed before dropping down in the grass to eat his favourite dish. "You're the best nee-san ever!" He reached forwards to drag the whole set of dishes towards him, but Alice quickly slapped him on the wrists, making him retract his arms with a whine and hurt expression. "What?"

Alice dropped onto her arse before patting the free ground beside her, gesturing for Jiraiya to join her. "Two bowls are for me, and two are for Jiraiya-sama."

Naruto whined and moped, but gave up two of his bowls to Jiraiya, the large man taking them as he sat down to complete the small triangle going on between the three of them. "Thanks kiddo," he said to Alice, tugging open one of the container's lids to reveal beef ramen.

"There's also chicken, regular miso and shrimp," Alice said through a mouthful of chilli beef that was her favourite. "Take your pick."

"Itadakimasu!" Naruto cheered before digging into his own miso, Jiraiya and Alice echoing him shortly after as they dug in ravenously to their late lunches. But three o'clock was a perfectly acceptable time to eat ramen, wasn't it? Any time is good for ramen!

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"So…?" Alice eyed Jiraiya in the light of the slowly fading sun, slightly regretting her choice to help Naruto with his summoning and absent chatting with him and the Sannin as she read a book on poison antidotes – she could've been doing a lot more practical stuff than just reading and talking. "Are you going to help me?"

"Maybe," consented Jiraiya, beginning to shoo he girl down the trail that led out of the small forest area they were in and towards the streets of Konoha.

"How will I know if you wish to train me?" Alice asked over her shoulder as the Sannin steered her away from Naruto's training and the topic.

"You'll know," was all Jiraiya said as he gave her a shove. "Now hurry up and head home before it gets dark. I can't have my worries played upon by a young maiden like you walking around in the dark, okay?"

"You gentleman," Alice said with a smirk before waving goodbye to the man and heading off down the trail, hips swishing happily with the days conquests.

"If only she was a bit older…" Jiraiya sighed before heading off to yell at Naruto's fails some more. Although, he could now summon a tadpole with all legs and a more toad-like shape, thanks to Alice's encouragements and pointers in chakra control.

**Third sensei Jiraiya of the Sannin: enlisted…?**

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**Alice P.O.V.**

Collapsing onto the couch with a huff, I tried to ignore my aching limbs. After only a few days with Gai, I could already feel the difference; my body could move more fluidly through my Hebi-style katas, and I could now make a fairly good dent in trees when I punched and kicked them.

But was it worth it to feel so shitty?

I mean, after every _six _hour training session, filled with fitness and fighting galore, I had to drag myself back home. Which was a good kilometre away and I had already run a fair few kilometres in Gai's training most mornings – even on my fucking _hands _on occasions.

But these Kami damned WEIGHTS!

I thought it'd be a good idea to get the weights, it's helped my speed greatly while also strengthening me, but I now know that it was a _fucking stupid idea! _Every time I moved my arms or legs, they dragged through the air. My katas were now ten times harder since I had ten kilos on each limb trying to pull me off balance.

One of the few pluses I've gotten from the weights (either than the strengthening and whatnot), is that I haven't had to wear those orange leg and arm warmers to keep them in place. And the weights are nowhere near as thick as Lee's own since the weight difference is massive and my ten kilo weights don't need to be a ridiculous size like Lee's own fifty-or-something-else-totally-fucking-ridiculous weights.

Nope, no orange for me. Even if I usually like the colour, that specific shade of orange was something that I wouldn't wear on a regular basis. I would also look like a rip-off of Shippuden Naruto since everything else I wear is black.

The reason I don't have to wear orange anymore (I say _anymore_ since I had to wear it for about a day or two) is because of that delightful old man who gave me my frying pan in his weapons shop.

Two days ago, I went back to the store to buy some more chakra paper to write my seals on, as well as some smoke bombs, since I was running low. Upon seeing me at the counter, wearing my trenchcoat and mesh shirt with shorts to accompany my orange warmers, the old man, Nobu his name is, burst out in laughter.

It wasn't mocking laughter, though, it was sympathising. Nobu was apparently a very popular weapon salesman with the jōnin of Konoha, and Gai was a regular. Nobu actually _supplied_ the crazy jōnin with his warmers. I thought Gai made them himself or something!

Nobu had disappeared into the back of the shop and returned shortly after with a bundle that he placed on top of the supplies I was already buying. He had informed that I still had to pay for the item, but he would give it to me for half price, since I had endured Gai's weights for a while already.

Do you know what they were? Do you know what sweet relief it was? It was beautiful new leg and arm warmers! Sleek, dusky black ones with dark indigo stripes going down either side of them, the stripes barely noticeable in the black when I put them on.

They were wonderful! Comfortable, held my weights well, didn't bulge ridiculously and a lovely shade of black that went well with the colours of my outfits!

Speaking of outfits…I should probably change mine for the finals. Sasuke changed his and I want to one-up his gay jumpsuit. Plus, I just really want to make an impression.

Clothes shopping it is!

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**Not the best, but at least it gets a large amount of bullshit out of the way. Next time, there'll be just the cleaning up of some stuff Alice needs to learn and then the finals will start!**

**But, in continuation of the perverted theme I've had going through this chapter at times, here's an omake of great importance! (Not really, but it's (hopefully) funny).**

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**Interlude 2: My first kiss went a little like this…**

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**Disclaimer: **_Usual!_

**Warning: **_Questioning sexuality, sanity and some snogging. Huzzah!_

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**3****rd**** Person P.O.V.**

It was a regular day of waiting for Kakashi to come and train them that, Team Seven plus Alice, got into an argument.

And when I say Team Seven, I mean Naruto really; Sasuke didn't get into argument, except when he was being insulted, and Sakura was just trying to defuse the whole stupid thing. And by argument, I mean an uncomfortable debate that Alice encouraged greatly. And provided the most substance in, really.

"I wonder why people call it straight?" Alice remarked curiously from her position on the grass under a tree, lazing about in the shadow of the tree as it was rather hot that day. "I mean, the opposite is called homosexuality; what's the connection there?"

Sakura groaned and kneaded her brow as she stared across at Alice from her position to the girls left. "Would you just drop the topic of sexuality already?"

"Don't you understand, Sakura-chan?!" Gasped Alice, "you are basically a teenager now! This is the time to question your sexuality, and have fun doing so!"

"Why would I question my sexuality?" Sighed Sakura – she had a feeling that she would be doing that a lot today. "I know I'm straight, and I'm fine being straight. What's the questioning in that?"

Alice frowned and cupped her chin in thought. "I thought I was straight until a year ago, where I began questioning myself. 'Do I like girls?' I thought. 'Do I like guys and girls? Or just guys? Do I want a three-way? Or a harem-?'"

"Okay," interrupted Sakura, "gross! Stop saying stuff like that!"

Alice shrugged. "It's true though, almost everyone questions their sexuality at one point. I, myself, know that I won't ever be a lesbian, but I could very well turn out to be bi or straight. I see no problem in liking girls, after all."

"What's a lesbiam?" Asked Naruto curiously. "I've heard the word before, but I dunno what it means."

"It's lesbia_n_," Sakura corrected gently to the blond opposite her, "it means that a girl is in love with the girl and wishes to kiss her. Among other things…" The pink-haired girl flushed brightly, imagining the naughty things that girls could do to other girls.

"Someone's a pervert~!" Sang Alice, nudging the blushing Sakura with a knowing grin on her face.

Sakura slapped the girl on the arm. "Shut up!"

"What's bi?" Naruto now asked, after having digested what a lesbian was.

"Someone who likes guys and girls," said Alice, before noticing Naruto's confusion – didn't _he _like Sakura-chan and other guys? They were friends, right? "In a sexual way, I mean," finished Alice. "Kissing, and making out, and fondling, and-"

"That's quite enough!" Sakura interjected shrilly, face flushing once more. "We don't need that kind of talk anymore!"

The group fell into silence – even though Sasuke was already silent during this whole thing, choosing to not get dragged into the stupid discussion.

"If Alice thinks she's bi," said Naruto slowly, disrupting the silence, "doesn't that mean she wants to kiss girls?"

"Yep!" Alice replied cheerfully. "You betcha!"

"You're a lesbian then!" Naruto exclaimed before bulldozing on before anyone could correct him. "Why would _YOU_," Naruto pointed at Alice as he got worked up over the subject, "want to kiss _GIRLS?!"_

Alice looked slightly affronted at this. "Well, who wouldn't want to kiss girls? We're hot!"

Sakura, sighing once more, tried to defuse the situation. "Alice, stop riling up Naruto. I've seen you check out guys, so stop pretending to be lesbian."

Sniffing haughtily, Alice replied. "I never said I'd be _lesbian_ – I like guys _way _too much to do that – but I'm just suggesting that I could be bi."

Both Sakura and Naruto began to argue with Alice over this point, and it wasn't until Naruto shouted out one question that everything stopped.

"Why would you want to be bi?!"

Alice suddenly grinned and leaned forwards, "so I can do this." She leant over to Naruto and placed a sweet kiss on his forehead, leaving the boy gobsmacked and rubbing the spot of contact, before she leaned to the other side to place a light kiss against Sakura's cheek. "But on the mouth."

After taking a moment to recognise that someone _willingly kissed __**him, **_Naruto still wasn't convinced. "I'm not sure that you're not a lesbian…prove it, 'tebayo!"

"Prove it?" Echoed Sakura, aghast. "How's she meant to prove not being lesbian?"

"Like this," Alice said simply, "If I only like girls, then I wouldn't do this!" The girl lunged forwards and launched herself at Sasuke, landing on the surprised boy and pinning him to the ground. Not wasting any time, the brunette pressed her lips to Sasuke's, burning his lips with the warmth and passion in them. She tilted her head slightly to press completely against him, lips moving with a mission against his unmoving ones, before she promptly disengaged, and shoved Sasuke down as she stood up.

"If I wasn't lesbian," Alice said to the completely dumbfounded Naruto, "I wouldn't have enjoyed that!"

Delicately moving away from where she was hovering over Sasuke, Alice plopped back down where she was sitting before, a shit-eating grin on her face as she took in the three genin's expressions.

Naruto was completely gobsmacked, his eyes still staring at the part where Alice had stood moments before, and his mouth moving up and down with unspoken words. Sakura was blushing a bright red, her gaze flicking between Sasuke and Alice as she alternately giggled and gawked. Finally, Sasuke lay on the ground, completely out of it. His eyes were staring blankly at the canopy above, body unmoving as replayed the kiss over and over in his head unconsciously. He barely noticed the skip in his heartbeat or the tingle still lingering on his lips, so great was his shock.

And Alice surveyed this all with a triumphant grin on her face. That is, until she realised something of great importance.

"HEY! YOU STOLE MY FIRST KISS, YA DICK!"

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**Trolololololol! Love it! First kiss scene I've ever written, but I wanted to keep it G and realistic, so no fierce making out or darting tongues. :(**

**I'm sorry if anyone is uncomfortable with the topic of sexuality, but I'm pretty free with it, as you can tell, so I hope I didn't cause too much embarrassment for anyone!**

**Hope you enjoyed it and I'll see you guys in a while!**

**Ciao.**

**P.S. How good is the word **_**lingering?**_


	26. Act 5 Part 2: Poison glorious poison!

**Ughhh…school sucks! Already back and they're expecting actual **_**effort **_**from me. Hahaha, no. Sorry 'bout the long wait for this chapter, but it couldn't be helped; not only did I have school, but I also spent most of today devouring Blood of Olympus! If you haven't got it yet, I suggest you do! Holy Hephaestus it's good!**

**Over 200 followers, as well?! Oh man, EXTRA BIG CHAPTER! WOOT WOOT!**

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**Disclaimer: **_I don't own Naruto, that's going to finish soon! Waahhh! And don't own any pop stuff mentioned, as well as Shakespearian. _

**Warning: **_Language and violence and god only knows!_

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**3****rd**** Person P.O.V.**

Alice was done with being a ninja.

Seriously. Do you know how hard it is to push your body to the _absolute _limit with a man who wears _green spandex? _Really, it was _fucking hard! _It sucked harder than a grandma with boiled eggs. Like, damn, Alice couldn't believe the amount of pain that she was in every time she staggered away from Gai's training sessions, arm and leg weights dragging her down with every step.

And that was only at ten that it ended – meaning that she wasn't even half-way through the day and she was already nearly falling asleep on her feet!

Luckily, how Alice spent her afternoons were varied – meaning that she could have a rest, occasionally. Mostly, she would read over books and scrolls that she had borrowed from the library, or was given to by Tenten and Gai. Most of the time, she lugged around a carrier-bag that sat comfortably against her hip; it contained so many scrolls that it bulged – and those scrolls were merely containment scrolls that contained around twenty smaller scrolls inside its seal matrix.

Almost every afternoon, Alice made the trip to the outskirts of the village and sat down on the bank of a river, watching Naruto train and occasionally asking Jiraiya questions on fuinjutsu as he peeked on girls whenever they came to the nearby waterfall. She didn't really know if it was alright for her to come down to the training uninvited, but at least it meant that Jiraiya never had to get her whenever he actually felt like training her and giving her some tips.

The Sannin had been impressed by the girls determination to learn fuinjutsu, but he had to reminder her that she shouldn't rely on one set area to help yourself through battles. Even when Alice had stated that she had the basic academy jutsus down, the kage bunshin, a mild confusing genjutsu, as well as a genjutsu that plays back sounds, and Hebi style, Jiraiya had insisted that she build her ninjutsu and genjutsu repertoire up.

So, upon Alice's reluctant agreement, the man had instructed her on her basics, bringing them to a higher level of efficiency. By the end of their month together, Alice had found herself much more comfortable with the kawarimi and the bunshin; the latter of which she had trouble with up until now. Her henge, on the other hand, was stellar, to say the least. Alice was now able to weave both the genjutsu henge and the solid henge so that it formed layers over herself; meaning that someone could dispel one of her transformation, but she'd have a solid, unspellable one underneath to confuse her opponent.

Sure, Jiraiya was rather tough as a sensei – not one to do things half-way when he got into it—but Alice occasionally found it quite nice to sit with the Sannin while they were on break, content with his idle chatter and hints as she scrawled away her own theories of fuinjutsu on several scrolls, and poured over books on herbal medicines, poisons, kenjutsu, and taijutsu.

Occasionally, though, Naruto's piteous whines on how he couldn't summon anything more than a tadpole with legs – even though Alice gave him pointers here and there – and Jiraiya's drooling over nearby women got to her, and Alice had to sit in the gloomy quiet of the Uchiha compound on her own; her only company was her own thoughts and the music that she played on one of her guitars, or via the genjutsu that Anko had taught her – Shingami hadn't spoken up once during that time.

It was slightly lonely, sure, but Alice didn't mind it so much – she occasionally found herself oppressed by Team Seven's loud presence, so it was rather nice to have some time to herself. The only times she differed from her tight schedule was when Saturdays rolled around and she got to spend time with Tenten.

Honestly, Alice thought she might be in love with that girl. Her naturally spunk and kind humour made Tenten a very appealing person to Alice. She found herself speaking more and more freely with Tenten with every passing day spent in her presence. Not just on kenjutsu and the familiar and _safe _topic of shinobi life, but natural, everyday stuff that Alice found she had been missing chatting to someone about; how odd it was that Konoha was hidden in the leaves, but it was in the Land of Fire. How the prices on apples had gone up everywhere, and the different ways that you could see if pasta was cooked – Alice liked just eating a strand of spaghetti to see if it was raw, rather than throwing it at a wall like Tenten to see if it would stick, although that came a close second.

So, all in all, Saturday afternoons were rather nice. Simply learning how to beat people's heads in with a frying pan as two girls chatted about how cute the local newspaper boy was. Yep, pretty awesome Saturday afternoons.

Of course, the relaxation and happiness from Saturday afternoons dimmed pretty quickly when Alice remembered where she was in the storyline, and what was about to happen. She may have changed a few things in the storyline for the finals already – Naruto summoning Gamabunta much earlier on this time, and waking up from his three day coma with more than a week of training to spare, being one – but Alice couldn't help but worry over every small detail; much like she did with her seals.

When she wasn't figuring out how to write new seals without them imploding in her face, or creating poisons and antidotes in the temporary laboratory that she had set up in Sasuke's basement, Alice was furiously writing up plans on the invasion on Konoha, trying to figure out how she could prevent things, or twist them to her own gain.

First of all; making sure that there wasn't so many ninjas falling asleep when Kabuto (that dick!) activated the genjutsu of falling feathers that took so many shinobi out. Really, they should be ashamed, not being able to dispel a simple genjutsu like that.

Alice had practised her dispelling, even though she had convinced Kakashi weeks earlier (had it really been so long ago?) to teach Team Seven how to recognise and dispel genjutsus. This, is where Kakashi had realised that Sakura was an absolute _natural _at genjutsus, and had pushed her discreetly to learn the basics of making genjutsus. This, was also where Team Seven and Alice had found out that Naruto, when he had finally recognised the genjutsu was affecting him, could send out a _massive _chakra pulse to dispel it. The first time he had pushed out his chakra in a pulse to dispel the small misdirection genjutsu on him, he had managed to completely erase the nearby ANBU's chameleon genjutsu, and had alerted every shinobi in a three kilometre radius of his presence.

Yep, happy times.

But, Alice reasoned, the pulse didn't take much out of Naruto, so she could convince the boy to use it when the genjutsu begins and completely dispel the technique. It would wake everyone up, and Naruto would have (roughly) the same amount of chakra when he faces Gaara as to when he versed him in canon.

Oh, yes, Alice was _definitely _not messing around with the Gaara situation. Nope, she was not getting _anywhere near _Naruto's fight against the boy. At most, she will just help his, Shikamaru's and Sakura's presence as they head for the mad boy.

Though, with all the situations she has planned out, Alice would need a whole _heck _of soldier pills to keep herself going throughout the aftermath of the finals. Yes, sire.

The only thing that Alice had done that wasn't involved with the Chunin Exams was when she played guitar, games of Shōgi with Shikamaru or Asuma, went and ate at Ichiraku's, or went to the onsen to have a relaxing time in the warm waters there.

That was generally where she met up with Sakura; discussing their own progress in the exams, how Naruto was going, wondering how Sasuke was, discussing Lee's condition (both girls visited him in their free time, bringing him flowers, playing games and chatting with the upbeat boy), and what their senseis were like in the steamy clouds and relaxed atmosphere.

Sakura quite liked Ebisu, even though he hadn't been pleased at the start to have Kakashi try and hand off two of his students two him – Naruto ran off anyway after one day with him, though, so now he was down to one. The Tokubetsu Jōnin was punctual and precise, something that Sakura found refreshing after Kakashi's laziness and tardiness. Ebisu spoke highly of the basics and had been training Sakura in her academy three – kawarimi, bunshin and henge – to make them perfect, as well as helping her with her exemplary chakra control to make it perfect, which forwarded her progress in healing.

So, all in all, Sakura was quite content in her abilities for versing Shikamaru – her only concerns was his ability to make up plans on the fly with his high intellect, something that she tried to counteract by bouncing ideas off Alice, who was closer to the lazy Nara.

Alice always left the onsen feeling refreshed and happy – especially so when she got to kick the shit out of Jiraiya when he tried to peek on them. Good times…

But, alas, all good times must come to an end, and people must face the challenges that they had been preparing for, for so long. The finals of the Chunin Exams had arrived.

But not before something had to be done about the invasion, and the casualties prior...

* * *

**Alice P.O.V.**

Masking my chakra to the best of my abilities, I slipped along the rooftops, my way lit only by the blinding light of the full moon. It was hard to remain unseen, but I have had a lot of practise with Anko; the crazy woman had invented games during our late night training sessions. Games that involved obstacle courses across the rooftops of Konoha, dodging hidden traps and any weapons that the woman's bunshin would toss at me whenever I slipped up and was seen.

Those games were great motivations, let me tell you now.

Keeping in mind that the person I was trailing had ridiculously good hearing, I decided to focus less on my chakra, and more on the sounds that my bare feet would make against the terracotta tiles and shingles that I was running across. Yes, I was wearing no shoes. Why? Because I found it easier to stay quiet with no shoes on, and I wasn't taking any chances tonight. Besides, my sandals were slung through the strap of my frying pan, held there by ninja wire, if I had to fight.

The abrupt stop of my target meant that, I, too, paused and slipped deeper into the shadows of a houses roof, making sure to quiet my slightly heavier than usual breathing. I was taking no chances tonight, at all; a lot of things I had planned hung on what happened tonight, here and now.

With that thought, I barely flared my chakra as I cast a henge across my features, only the temporary genjutsu as the influx of my chakra when I did a permanent one was massively obvious to those who knew what they were looking for.

Feeling the cool sensation of my newer face settle against my skin, I crept closer to where my target was standing in the middle of an open roof, interacting boldly with another person in the bright moonlight. Hm, I thought Dosu was smart. At least, up until I had seen this part in the series; here, he's just being cocky. He doesn't even _need _to go up against Gaara, yet he still does! Idiot!

Well, he was part of my plans, so I guess I had to go and save him before he egged Gaara on and got crushed by a tidal wave of sand. Wait, change of plans. I have a better idea!

Waiting until Gaara snapped and released a wave of sand, I quickly created a kage bunshin that was masked in the same henge and dark clothes as me. My twin looked serious before she flashed through some handseals and disappeared in a puff of smoke.

When the smoke cleared, I put my hand against the recently kawarim'd Dosu's mouth, wary of him shouting in surprise. His one eye stared in fixated horror and surprise at me, visibly trembling in the aftershock of nearly being killed.

I gave him a reassuring smile with my brown eyes and dark hair, before pointedly looking over to the situation he was in moments before.

Jerkily, Dosu turned to see Gaara encase my bunshin in a sand coffin, the sand tightening around the bunshin. It was with a spray of fake blood that the bunshin dispelled, unbeknownst to a clearly satisfied Gaara who was glaring down at the mess he had made, arms folded across his chest.

Taking my hand away from Dosu's mouth, I quietly called his name, eliciting a slow head turn from the Oto-nin. "…A-Alice?"

"Yes," I hissed back, "but you mustn't tell anyone. Don't tell _anyone _about this; I can not stress that enough." I shifted on my haunches so that I could face Dosu more, making the still shocked shinobi focus more on me. "Listen quickly, Dosu, because I'll only say this once; you need to pretend to be dead, okay?" At his oblivious expression, I hastily explained – I was on a time-limit. "Orochimaru – even though you think the sun shines out of that man's ass – is just using you. And by using you, I don't mean in that weird, machoistic way that all shinobi here seem to like, but in the I'll-use-you-for-a-weapon-and-then-sacrifice-you-and-your-teammates-so-that-I-may-summon-some-dead-as-fuck-Hokages." I quirked an eyebrow up at him. "Capishe?"

I waited for Dosu to respond, but after a few moments, I knew that wasn't going to happen any time soon – he was still too shocked. So I gave him a pat on the shoulder before creating a kage bunshin and dispelling it. "You're about to be kawarim'd back to my house. There, some of my kage bunshin will answer any questions you have. See you there." I managed to blurt out the last bit before the boy disappeared once more, replaced by a solemn me.

"Are you ready?" I asked my mirror-image as I led the way around the building we were on, creeping through the shadows like true ninja should.

"Of course," came the barely audible reply, "I am you, after all."

"Touché." I managed a slight smirk, even in the tense situation. "Stealth mode…"

"Activate," finished off my bunshin, melding nearly completely with the shadows as her hair shifted to a dull black that wouldn't shine in the dark, and her skin darkened to match the shadows. I mimicked her as we approached the situation we had been aiming for; a nearby balcony where two men stood on, and one hovered nearby, trying his best to be inconspicuous.

Curling my chakra into an even tighter ball and hiding it deep down, I settled down beside my bunshin on a sloping roof close enough to the men to be able to see them, but far enough that we would be hard to pick out unless you were looking for us. We would wait until the right moment…even if it took hours, or—

Oh, here we go. It was mere seconds.

"I'm going!" Yelped out my bunshin before vanishing with a customary smoke cloud, and being replaced by a dazed Hayate.

"No time to waste," I growled out to the confused male, mimicking a deeper females voice and layering a white mouse mask over my changed visage; I was going for the ANBU look. "Let's go. You've already nearly failed your own, given mission."

Hayate went to speak up, but I got the influx of my bunshins memories as it was dispelled by an angry and scared Baki – Kabuto had fled. "Shit! No time at all! Move!" I shoved Hayate to the side as a blast of wind swept towards us. Fucking Baki and his fūton jutsu!

I could feel the wind of Baki's attack caress the back of my head as I followed Hayate's stumbling leap, ruffling my shorter hair. Landing on a neighbouring rooftop with a slight stumble of my legs, I flared my chakra and solidified my henge, making myself permanently five years older, with short black hair, and dressed in ANBU gear with an accompanying mouse mask. Skills.

"I know of plans to invade Konoha!" Gasped out Hayate as he drew his katana. "It is very important that you inform Hokage-sama about Oto and Suna's plans to attack us during the finals of the Chunin Exams, ANBU!"

Sensing, rather than seeing Baki leaping towards us, I bent forwards so that my body was bent double. I could feel my forehead brush against the ground, letting Baki pass over me as I nearly kissed the ground. Continuing my momentum, I swung my foot backwards and over my head, nailing Baki in the back as I completed my vertical revolution.

Placing both feet safely on the ground and jumping back so that Baki couldn't come up swinging and hit me, I fell back into place just in front of Hayate. "Leave and tell Hokage-sama about the plan, Hayate-san! You have more information and proof, so you shall take care of the task of telling him! It is important that you do so!"

At seeing Hayate hesitate, I raised my voice as I reached back to grasp my frying pan. "Go now, Hayate-san! That's an order!" As my fingers brushed the handle of my frying pan, I exerted my chakra to cover the length of it, and flexed my chakra once more to change it into a katana that I drew quickly to block a kunai swipe from a clearly terrified Baki. "I WON'T LET YOU LEAVE!"

"Retreat now, Hayate-san," I barked out, pushing up against Baki as I tried to slip into his guard. "And report to Hokage-sama!"

"NO!" Howled Baki, disengaging from me to chase after Hayate as the Konoha-nin began to sheath his sword and run towards the next rooftop. Luckily, I had predicted this, and was close enough to jerk my elbow up into Baki's jaw, sending him reeling back.

Pushing my advantage, I charged after Baki with my katana ready. The man recovered quickly, though, as he was a true jōni-

Shit! I wasn't even a genin, but I was going up against a jōnin?! Oh, Christ, I didn't think this through, did I? I got too much into my ANBU character that I actually thought that I _was _an ANBU. And now a fully-fledged, highly-experienced, ass-kicking shinobi was raising his kunai against my katana that was actually just a frying pan in disguise. Double Christ…

Flinching behind my mask as Baki's blade hit mine with a loud clang, I tried not to show the man how my arms were trembling along with my legs. It was lucky that he was scared out of his mind about the invasion (and Suna's betrayal of Konoha), or else my façade would be crumbling around my ears right now. Yeah…lucky me…

"Baki-san," I managed to grunt out as I withdrew from our locked engagement and began to trade blows with him; my longer blade having more reach, but my inexperience with the katana (only a few times had I brushed over using a katana with Tenten when we got distracted and bored of heavy-hitting weapons), meant that Baki still had a substantial gain over me. "I have information that you might want to hear."

"I don't care!" The man shouted back, eyes wild and rolling as he leapt back and began to flip through handseals so fast that I couldn't see them. "Suna is already finished!"

Before I could protest, Baki let out a primal yell and slammed his hands against his stomach so that he could spit a compressed ball of air towards me.

Biting back a yell of surprise and fear, I charged an abundance of chakra to my legs. So much, that my legs felt like they were on fire as I coiled up and leapt over the giant, swirling, ball of death and pain.

Curling tighter into a ball as I dropped over the other side of the ball of air – feeling it tug on my clothes as I did so – I prepared to hit the ground rolling and pop up for an attack.

What I didn't expect was for Baki to chase me into the air.

As I arced towards the ground, I suddenly sensed a flash of chakra as it leapt towards me. Unable to react in time, I curled tighter into a ball and took the brunt of Baki's axe kick on my back, sending me hurtling towards the concrete roof we were currently on.

Kicking my legs out frantically to land feet first like any normal person would, I hit the ground splayed out in a _very _attractive way that could seriously jeopardise my cover as an ANBU (those people could _actually _land on their feet). The ground met me with a judder that ran up my whole body, rattling the brains in my head. I tried to roll with the momentum of the kick, but Baki had targeted a spot of my back that had me going directly down; there was no momentum to roll with.

The air in my lungs left with a massive whoosh as I belly-flopped pathetically into the ground. My chin scrapped along the concrete and I could taste blood in my mouth as the recoil from my face hitting the ground made me bite my tongue.

I wanted to curl up into a ball again and quietly cry over the fucking _fantastic _feeling in my back, stomach, legs and face but, unfortunately, I had a slightly crazed ninja on my ass, trying to fry it. Or, rather, blend it into a booty smoothie. I like my bootie, thank you very much. I'd rather not have some crazy fūton jutsu blend it into oblivion.

Barely keeping track of Baki's chakra through my pain, I managed to twist and roll away from the man as he tried to stomp on me from his considerable drop from the air. The ground cracked behind me as I twisted with my rolling motion and managed to stand up. Somehow, even after being bitch slapped into the ground, I was still clutching tightly onto my katana; thank you whatever Kami applied to good handholds!

"Baki-san," I tried to reason with the man again as I watched him warily, body at the ready. "I have come across some information that I believe you _really _would like to hear."

"Is it that the bastard who spied on me is dead!" Spat out Baki.

Woah…geez, this guy is really pissed, isn't he? Man, I thought he was somewhat sane in the series, but it seems here that the prospect of Suna being found out as a betrayer, and being destroyed by Konoha has warped his mind a bit. Nice.

"No, Baki-san," I said in my deeper voice, "I am here to inform you that Suna has already been betrayed – and not by Konoha."

The Suna-nin gnashed his teeth together, the eye that wasn't covered by the cloth from his headpiece glared at me. "And who are we betrayed by? We've already been betrayed by our daimiyo! We have no more missions or money coming into our country – Konoha made sure of that!"

"We did not do it on purpose, I assure you." I kept my voice sincere as I ran over scenarios in my head of how to get out of this situation alive. None of them seemed to end well. "But you have been betrayed by Oto, Baki-san. They have already killed off your Kazekage."

Okay, so it was a bit of a gamble to just _throw _all this information towards him, but I was kind of buying for time now; I had expected Baki to run, not go after us, which was kind of foolish, now that I think of it…I could wait until the ANBU got here (where the hell were they in the series, anyway? They are meant to protect the village and the people in it, yet one of their men died and with him, the unveiling of the invasion plans!), but that was a bad idea; I _was _pretending to be one of them, after all. And I couldn't really explain how I knew this was going to happen, nor could I simply run now; ANBU were master trackers, I wouldn't get far.

Baki was clearly rather taken aback by this sudden fact. "W-what? What the hell did you say?" After I dutifully repeated the statement in the monotonic tones of ANBU, I could see the man regain his fire once more. "Preposterous! Kazekage-sama is here in Konoha, about to watch the exams! What are you babbling about?!"

"Orochimaru is the leader of Oto, and he has already taken place of your Kazekage." It was very hard not to add sama to the end of Orochimaru's name, but I managed to bite it back. "Orochimaru has the ability to take on people's faces; we know of this ability because he used it in the second portion of the Chunin Exams." Taking an even bigger gamble, I slowly released all of my henges, leaving a pathetic looking brunette with green eyes, black clothes on like she's trying to play ninja, and a frying pan in her hands.

"Y-you!" Stuttered out Baki, eyes wide in disbelief.

"I am a master sensor, Baki-san," I said solemnly, "and I faced Orochimaru in the exams; I know his chakra signature, and he even boasted his plans to me as I fought him."

"Lies!" Baki roared, but he seemed more confused that angry now. "Kazekage-sama couldn't be killed so easily!"

"I never said he was killed easily." I kept my voice gentle and non-threatening as I talked to the Suna-nin. "But Orochimaru is a master of trickery and deceit; the Kazekage would've been easy-pickings if Orochimaru managed to lure him out into the desert and ambush him with his men. I still am not saying that Orochimaru wouldn't have had trouble with the Kazekage, but you must know this…" I tried to convey my fears and honesty into my eyes as I stared into Baki's own. "Orochimaru is a mad scientist, and he has warped some people into creatures beyond comprehension and recognition; he has abominations that can lift trees over their heads, grow second heads, and pull bones from their body; they are highly dangerous, and they can easily turn on your men. It would be a massacre…"

"H-how do you know this?" Baki managed to spit out moments later, after comprehending my words. "You're just a little brat! You're not even a ninja, from what I've heard!"

Holding my hand up to stop any more words, I kept my expression serious and hard as I looked upon Baki, even though I was terrified. "I may not be a ninja, Baki-san, but I have an informant that is old enough, and wise enough, that he is able to inform me of such things."

Baki sneered. "Is he that Hokage of yours? He may be the _god of shinobi, _but he's old and senile. The fact that he doesn't know about this attack makes me think he isn't as informed as he's meant to be!"

"First of all," I bit out, furious at the way he spoke so…_rudely_, to say the least, about my grandfather figure. "Don't you _dare _ever talk about the Hokage like that!" Glaring Baki into submission so that he would not speak up, I continued with a tone that I hoped was cold enough to get my point across. "Secondly; did I ever say that my informant was Hokage-sama? No. No I did not. So don't go around _assuming,_ becausethat'll get you killed. My informant is older than Hokage-sama, anyways. Much older. Older than, say…a Bijū…"

Baki clearly choked at that. "Older than a Bijū?!"

"And wiser and more powerful," I agreed with a sharp smile.

Baki's Adam-apple bobbed as he gulped loudly in the silent night air. "There is nothing like that in existence! Stop lying to me!"

"I'll prove it then." I spoke calmly, but inside, I was freaking out.

'Shingami-sama? I said I wouldn't bother you, and that I didn't need you, but…as you can tell, I'm in deep trouble. So, please, help me out!'

There was silence, both inside my mind and outside. Keeping my calm and wise façade together, I closed my eyes to Baki, like I was looking for something; an answer.

'Please, Shingami-sama! This is for the future! Please, oh sweet Kami! Please help me out here! I will do anything for you to help me!'

…_Anything?_

'You're here! Yes! Yes, I will do anything!'

_I will hold that to you then…_

And then I blacked out.

* * *

**3****rd**** Person P.O.V.**

Watching the brunette who had made Baki lose that bastard who had spied on him, pretended to be an Anbu, made up a conspiracy, acted like there was something more powerful than a fucking _Bijū! _And now was simply standing there closing her eyes – well, Baki's blood began to boil.

Coming to the decision to just kill the girl while she was unaware – to hell with _master sensor_ – Baki dug his hands into his ninja pouch and began to forage for a kunai. Just as his fingers curled around the hilt of said weapon, a sudden wave of pure KI washed over Baki, making him stumble back as his senses went into overdrive.

Eyes trained on the unassuming brunette, Baki could safely say (upon looking back at the moment hours later, when he was safely back at the apartment he was sharing with his students) that he had rarely been more scared in his life. The only time that he could compare this to was the moments that Gaara let…_that thing _out and it went on a rampage.

A feeling of death made the air in front of Baki's eye shimmer and contort, hazy with his own fear and with the aura that was being permeated from the girl – who wasn't so unassuming or weak anymore. The haze seemed to suck the light out of the night sky, and made it hard to pick anything out; but the one thing that was clear made Baki's heart stutter to a stop and attempt to leap up into his throat.

Piercing, yellow eyes glared into him, the curved slits in them seemingly stripping away his entire identity as they bored into him. A pathetic squeak escaped Baki's lips as the eyes began to move closer and closer. They swung through the darkness of the night and his own fear, leaving yellow trails of afterglow every time they swung from side to side; not so much as creeping closer, but _stalking._

The eyes stopped in front of Baki, and he whimpered as those eyes leaned intently towards his own; the feeling of death – he could almost smell it! – enveloping Baki all the while in its cool embrace.

"_So you're the human that has been causing my container grief." _The voice was a hissing, grating sound that made Baki shudder, even though he was paralysed from fear. Suddenly, cool and sharp objects skimmed across Baki's jaw, only pushing hard enough to raise his chin up into a vulnerable position. _"I am curious as to why she wishes to save you…care to enlighten me?"_

"I-I-I…" Baki couldn't speak a single word.

"_Foolish," _the voice growled out, digging harshly _(oh Kami that was definitely talons!) _into Baki's chin. _"So weak as to not be able to face death in the face without stuttering; the qualities of shinobi has clearly declined from when I was last free."_

"W-who are y-you?" Baki managed to stammer out, heart beating widely from fear. "What are you!?"

"_I am death itself," _the voice stated, almost like the fact was nothing. _"I am the one who walks these lands, and the one who claims all souls as its own, because they are_ mine_ upon their death, not Kami's anymore; I am Shingami."_

Baki barely held back a sob as he remembered all the stories he had heard of the Shingami being summoned to the Mortal plane and taking people's souls as part of rituals, or even jutsus. "How are you…inside a g-girl?"

"_Because she is my chosen; she will fix many things in this world, but she thinks that she needs your assistance in doing so. Foolish, I know," _Shingami stated when he sensed Baki's confusion, even amidst his fear. _"But you will help her – or so help yourself."_

The talons retracted from Baki and, with it, the sense of death. The yellow eyes swung back to its previous distance and, alongside the haze of fear, began to disappear. Baki blinked away the last of his clouded vision and began to stand up on shaking legs, not having realised that he had fallen down until now, knees digging into concrete. He stared warily, and with a considerable amount of fear, towards the sickly green eyes that were continuing to bleed back into bright emerald eyes.

Alice blinked a couple of times, completely disorientated and feeling…_uncomfortable _in her body. She swayed slightly on the spot before her gaze locked onto a trembling Baki in front of her. "Um…I don't remember anything that has happened for, say, the last ten minutes, maybe, but I'm going to say, from the way you're shaking, you've met Shingami-sama." At the jerky nod from Baki, the girl beamed through her wooziness. "Great! Now that we've got that out of the way; do you believe me now?" The girl waited for the man's answer as she tugged her sandals from around her neck and untied the wire that held them together, quickly slipping them on since she had no need for stealth anymore.

"Y-yes," chattered out Baki after a moment of consideration. "I do, I swear!"

"Alright, alright," laughed out Alice, "I don't bite; it's the other guy you've got to look out for." The girl barked out some more laughter, seemingly amused by an inside joke that only she got. "Ha, he might _Hulk out _on you!" The girl continued to snigger, before she suddenly went very quiet and perked up, ears twitching.

"What?" Baki asked, nervously fingering a kunai and gazing around the (how is it still?) quiet night. "What is it?"

"Shit," Alice cursed, eyes staring towards the north, towards the Hokage tower. "ANBU. They're coming this way; four of them, all geared up and ready."

"How do you know?" Baki said through his clenched teeth.

Alice turned her head to stare at him with a deadpan expression, even in the tense atmosphere. "Master sensor, remember?" She then shook her head, like she was trying to clear it. "That doesn't matter now! We've got to escape!"

"Why do you have to escape?" Questioned Baki as the girl's eyes darted around, looking for something that he _still _couldn't see.

"Because they'll question me and that's _annoying_. Besides, I still have to talk to you and discuss some…modifications in your invasion plans."

Baki gulped once more at the devious and slightly crazed look on the brunette's face before she darted away, leaping for the next rooftop. "C'mon! Mask your chakra and follow me!"

"Where are we going?" Baki hissed out as he followed the girl, watching her movements closely so he could try and mimic her exactly.

"Back to your place." Alice tossed the comment behind her as she jumped over another gap in buildings, her legs swinging out to hook around an awning of a house. She used the momentum to loop around the wooden structure before she slingshot'd herself over two whole apartments.

"She's mental," Baki muttered to himself as he gazed across at the figure of the girl swan diving off a telegraph pole to fearlessly latch on with her right hand onto a clothesline, sliding down it after she unsheathed her frying pan and slung it over the top, both hands grasping it as she took off on her impromptu flying fox.

Realising that he was still standing on a building nearly five hundred metres away from his guide, Baki quickly followed her – taking the normal, _sane _way, thank you very much.

* * *

Popping her head up from the manhole cover she had uncovered, Alice scanned left and right down the dingy alleyway she was currently under, spreading her chakra senses to the limit to pick up any nearby shinobi.

Finding none, the brunette jumped up and landed on the cobblestoned alleyway without a sound, brushing sewer slime, sewerage water, and dust from her long, black turtleneck top with a pleased look on her face. She didn't say anything, but her expression told what she was thinking; _I just did something fucking awesome, and I know it._

Her companion wasn't so pleased when he heaved himself out of the sewers where they had been scurrying along in for the past half-hour to lose the ANBU searching for them. "How did you even know where to go?" He spoke quietly, wary of anybody who could hear them.

"My friend's grown up here's his whole life and often ran from the civilians and shinobi of this village." Alice spoke quietly, a tinge of sadness colouring her voice. "He has heaps of secret hidey-holes – one of which was how we ended up three kilometres south from the Laundromat after I shoved open that wooden fence – as well as extensive knowledge of the village layout and the layout underneath it; he's a prankster, after all. He just showed me everything in our free time."

Baki grunted in response, brushing off the unwanted things he had collected during his trip underground. "Where are we?"

Scanning her eyes around thoughtfully, Alice looked pleased with herself as her gaze locked onto one specific lodging. "Your house is right there."

Curious, Baki stepped around her, staring with surprise at the private apartment he and the Sand Siblings were staying at. He was thinking something along the lines of 'wow, she lead me all the way here so easily!' But what came out of his mouth was more along the lines of, "How did you know where we were staying?"

"Gaara's chakra signature is like a massive flare saying 'we're here! Here's a psycho with insomnia who houses Shukaku! Come get us!' You dig?" Alice shrugged uncaringly before leading the way out of the alley and across the street, intent on leaping up onto the window that led into the room they were staying at. "We have some business to discuss, so I'm going to invite myself in. We won't be bothered for a while, since the ANBU are probably still look for you, and won't attack you in your homes because they want to prepare for the invasion like everything's normal, and not give the game away. Capishe?" Alice glanced back at the man who was following her with a displeased look on his face.

"Look," sighed Alice, coming to a stop in the middle of the street and turning to face Baki. "All I need you to do is act like nothing's happening; just like you were going to do anyway. But behind the scenes, I want you to inform your most _trusted _shinobi about the death of your Kazekage, and that Oto is going to betray you. Send a hawk home to inform those in high power in your village that you believe that the Kazekage is dead, and that they must check for his body in the desert; only after they verify such a thing should you inform the rest of _your _army. Do not tell Oto, okay?"

At Baki's nod of confirmation, Alice nodded to herself – a nod of acknowledgment and happiness. "Right! Onwards to your apartment where we shall wake the kiddies and tell them of the good news!" Alice bowed gracefully and gestured Baki forwards with one arm. "Ladies first."

* * *

"Honestly," Sakura sighed as she trudged beside Shikamaru to go to the middle of the arena, following just behind their proctor, Hayate. "Where is everyone? I can't see Naruto, Sasuke, or Alice! Where the hell could they be?! I would've thought that Alice and Naruto would've been here first, due to the fact that those two are so easily excited."

Shikamaru grunted in response, not taking his gaze off the clouds above as he walked with his arms behind his neck to support his tilted head. "Those guys are so troublesome…to be late…huh." Inside his mind, though, the Nara was much more worried.

He had gone against Alice in a few more games during the training month, and while they played in silence most of the time in the training field they first met at (also known as Team Ten's), Alice would occasionally pose questions and plans to Shikamaru; all were about invasions.

Sensing that the brunette's seemingly casual questions had some depth and hidden meaning behind them, Shikamaru delved after the answer, only to find that there was going to be an _actual _invasion on Konoha – sure, Alice had mentioned it in the Forest of Death, but it was rather uncertain, and she hadn't really said the word _invasion_. He never said anything about his deduction of the invasion on Konoha, but the gleam in Alice's eyes as she placed pawns to go against his queen, and the twitches of her mouth let Shikamaru know that she _knew _of his knowledge, and found that…amusing? Good? Beneficial? Shikamaru wasn't too sure, and not being sure was one of the things he secretly _hated._

Rolling her eyes at the guys half-finished responses, not knowing of the whirling thoughts chasing each other in Shikanaru's head, Sakura came to a halt beside Hayate as he stood solidly in the middle of the arena, his tired and sickly gaze upon the trail of genin following him like a flock of ducklings. "Is everyone here?" He broke off into a round of coughing that had some of the contestants wincing in sympathy, and Sakura's fingers itching to try and heal whatever what was ailing him. 'I've been reading too many medical books…'

"Not everyone's here," informed Temari coldly from her position further down the line, "the loudmouth blonde, brunette, and moody black-haired guy isn't here." The girl scoffed, hands on her hips as she clearly looked unimpressed.

Right on time, there was a commotion as Naruto came sprinting into the arena, before tripping majestically and coming to a sliding stop (after travelling a decent twenty metres as he did so) right at Shino's feet.

The Aburame looked down with barely any surprise or interest at the blond moaning at his feet, merely neatly shifting back so that the blond wouldn't hit him whenever he recovered his wits and came up flailing madly like a loose jack-in-the-box.

And Shino called it; Naruto suddenly stood up with a yelp and started babbling something about bulls and chasing and brats, arms gesturing wildly and barely missing Shino as the boy stoically moved his head mere inches from side to side to let the appendages go safely whistling past.

Resisting the urge to knead his forehead or punch the brat's lights out, Kankurō settled with a glower at Naruto, clearly displeased by his loudness. 'This is the Kyūbi? This gaki is the one that is going to beat Gaara?' Eyes flickering with mild anger, Kankurō let out a smirk as the pink-haired girl, who had the misfortune to be the blond brat's teammate, slammed her fist over Naruto's head and began scolding him for his tardiness.

'That Alice better be certain about us being betrayed in this invasion,' Temari thought to herself as she scanned the faces looking down on her from the surrounding stadium. 'Though, Baki did say that he sent a message to the Elders, and that they found…the Kazekage's body. He really is dead…' The blonde-haired girl's eyes locked onto the figure in white and blue robes as he made his way across the Kage box way above her head. 'Orochimaru…'

Unbeknownst to the surrounding people's thoughts about invasions, Sakura continued to look around for her other two friends. Seeing no sign of a familiar brunette, or black-haired boy, Sakura turned her attention to the blond that stood on her left, beside Hayate, as he gazed in wonder at the people cheering for him and the other contestants. "Naruto?"

"Huh?" Naruto started before seeming to realise that his name had been called. He turned to Sakura with a grin. "What's up, Sakura-chan?"

"Do you know where Alice or Sasuke is?" Sakura asked him uncertainly, eyes still looking around the immediate area. "I haven't seen Sasuke at all during this month, and the last time I saw Alice was five days ago; where could they be?"

Naruto shrugged. "I haven't seen Teme this month, either, but I saw Alice two days ago; she said that she was looking forward to the exams and was excited to see you fight." Clenching his fists in excitement, Naruto's grin widened. "And she said that she expected me to win! And I won't let her, Kaka-sensei, you, or Ero-sennin down! I'm going to win!"

Blinking at the mention of her name, and of someone who she didn't know (perverted sage? What the hell?!), Sakura went to open her mouth to answer, but found herself cut off by a cold voice on the other side of Shikamaru.

"Don't get cocky, failure. You will lose here, just like fate intended you to do." Neji didn't take his eyes off from where he was staring at the brick wall of the stadium, nor did he raise his voice, but Naruto heard it like he was standing right in front of him, shouting his words in his face. "Hey! Bastard! Don't put me down so easily; I'm Uzumaki Naruto, and I'm going to become Hokage, dattebayo!"

Before Neji could target Naruto's prospect of becoming Hokage (a failure like _him _become _Hokage? _Absurd!), an arm slung across his shoulders and a chakra signature that had suddenly appeared behind him had the words dying in his throat.

"Now, now, children," Alice taunted coyly as she stood behind Neji, arm across his shoulder and stooping slightly so that she could talk straight into his left ear. "No need to fight; you have enough time to do it on the battlefield, capishe?" The girl then snickered, like what she said was funny. "I totally just scared you guys, didn't I?"

Naruto was the first one to recover from Alice's sudden arrival. "Hell yeah you did! What the hell, Alice-nee! Where were you?!"

"Places," Alice shrugged. She slipped her arm off Neji when she felt him stiffen from realising that she was touching him, wary of the boy jyūkening her in his anger. "Where have _you _been?"

"Here," Sakura replied for the blond, "where _you _should've been minutes ago! What were you doing?"

Here, Alice's face lost a little bit of its shine, and her smile slipped slightly; not that anyone, either than Shikamaru or Neji, noticed.

'So she did it, then.' Neji narrowed his pale eyes at the girl's profile, which was side-on to him as she scanned the audience of the stadium, answering question from Naruto and Sakura in a manner that was too much like Kakashi for their liking. Neji took in the way that Alice's face looked worn, like she hadn't been getting enough sleep, which was only emphasized by the slight bruising underneath her wide eyes. 'And it seems like it was completely with some complications.'

The boy continued to keep one eye on Alice as he faced the front once more, taking in her wired posture. 'She's tense; has the plan gone off track?' Studying the girl's body language some more, Neji deduced that the plan that the brunette had approached him with was still on track and going ahead. 'Good, I hate last minute changes.'

"Are you all ready?" Hayate's voice broke across the idle conversations that Alice, Sakura, Naruto and Shikamaru had been participating in, and made Temari, Neji, Shino, Gaara and Kankurō turn their heads to face him. "We are to begin now."

"But what about Sasuke?" Sakura piqued up in worry. "He's not here yet!"

"Uchiha-san will not be disqualified until his match is called," Hayate informed the mildly distressed girl. "As it is; could all contestants please go up onto the stands; only Uzumaki Naruto and Hyūga Neji can stay down here."

All of those who weren't part of the first match began to make their way towards a flight of stairs that led up from the ground of the arena. Sakura gave Naruto a reassuring smile as she walked away, and Alice tossed a "I know you'll win!" behind her before she locked eyes with Neji and gave him an indescribable look.

The Hyūga merely lifted his chin slightly in answer, pale eyes glaring at everything around him.

"Do you think Naruto will win?" Sakura asked Alice as they made their way up the stairs, the concrete surrounding them a pleasantly cool relief from the hot sun outside.

Alice grinned and nodded. "I know it, yeah! Naruto will have some trouble, but he'll pull through in the end, believe it!"

"Don't start that again," groaned Sakura, burying her face in her palms as the two girls turned the corner of a landing and made their way up another flight of stairs. "I hated it when you had that vocal tick; it went on for a week! A week of 'believe it!' I can't imagine anything worse right now."

"Well," laughed Alice, "it's too bad that I think I've developed another vocal tick…"

"Oh please no…"

"It's capishe!"

Curious now at the foreign word, Sakura raised her head from her hands to look across at Alice. "What does that mean? Is it in your home language? I thought you couldn't use your home language, since the seal on your neck translated everything you say into our language."

A bray of laughter came from Alice's mouth. "That seal?! The one from all the way back at chapter two? Oh, I haven't used that in ages! I only hay wired and spoke English a couple of times after that chapter, so I thought you would've realised sooner that I had already learnt Japanese along the way! The seal rubbed off before the Chunin Exams even began, and now I can switch between my home language and yours as easily as breathing!" Alice laughed again before babbling some words in a language that Sakura couldn't understand, laughing at the end of almost every sentence.

"What do you mean by chapter?" Asked Sakura, but it seemed like Alice hadn't heard her as she went dancing ahead to leap up the last few steps and reach the balcony where the contestants could watch the fights and wait for their own. Alice went bounding up to the railing and quickly swung herself up to perch upon it, legs kicking over the side as Shikamaru leant with his forearms against the railing with a lot less enthusiasm. "I just know these exams are going to be troublesome…"

"You got that right!" Alice flashed him a smile, but there was something sharp about it. Something dangerous.

Shikamaru grunted at the girl before preparing for a long wait; his match wouldn't be for a while.

"Are you sure Naruto's going to be alright?" Sakura posed the question to Alice again as she stood beside her, eyes locked on the said blond below as he traded words with Neji. "I mean, Neji's a genius, and you saw what he did to Hinata…"

"And it's because of those two reasons that Neji's going to go down harder than a rugby ball at touchdown!" Alice smirked at Sakura, knowing that the girl, or anyone around her, really, got the metaphor. "One; because Naruto's going to prove Neji that failures can beat geniuses with hard work – a testimony to Lee as well. And two; because he hurt and humiliated Hinata, two things that Naruto doesn't stand for."

Feeling much better at that reassurance, and firmer in her belief of Naruto's abilities, Sakura turned her attention back to the fight blossoming between Neji and Naruto; this was going to be an amazing fight.

And it was; at least, for those who hadn't seen it before.

Alice was slightly disappointed that she hadn't made much of a dent on Naruto and his abilities as she believed she had. Sure, the blond seemed genuinely happier than in the series, he had a _way _better relationship with his teammates, he knew how the kage bunshin worked (and regularly spammed them nowadays to help with training), and his taijutsu and genjutsu didn't suck so hard anymore, but it seemed like those qualities weren't making much of a difference in this fight.

Naruto's movements were surer of themselves; swifter, stronger, much neater in his stances, but all the while retaining his unorthodox fighting style that couldn't be predicted – not even by Neji. But it still went almost like the fight that happened with Neji; just as much background exchange, general angst, and Naruto getting the shit jyūken'd out of him by Neji. Yep, basically the same.

Sighing through her nose, Alice absently picked at her new clothes as she swung her feet back and forth and listened to the comments of the surrounding people, occasionally adding in a comment to an excited Sakura or shouting out encouragement to Naruto.

What was that? New clothes? Oh, yeah! Alice couldn't forget about those! She bought them recently, after all, and was pretty happy about them. Let's work from the bottom up, shall we?

Alice's blue ankle-sandals that she had been sporting during her break had been traded back in for her old, knee-high sandals that were black in colour, reminiscent to Shippuden Sakura's, but without the heel and was laced up tightly. Tucked into the shoes and out of sight was Alice's leg weights, easily removed by the edges that peaked over the top of the sandals, and the release seal that was painted there.

She still wore her black spandex shorts, and her belt was still fastened around her hips, but there was twice as many pockets and attached pouches to the accessory; you could never have enough scrolls!

Deciding that the mesh-top that Anko had given her was an excellent article of clothing, Alice wore that under a low-cut black singlet that clung to her, as so to not restrict her movements. This seemed a bit foolish, as Alice wore a short-sleeved, billowing and black trench coat over the top, but the areas around the chest and arms were cut so that, they, too, clung to her body and moved with her arms. She had kept the trench coat as Anko had given it to her and it was precious due to this, as well as useful to hide her movements and it had plenty of pockets full of surprises – but it helped that it looked badass.

Where the sleeves of the trench coat ended, Alice's arm weights began. They ran down her arms, the left one covering the pale flesh and blue veins from the very first time Shingami had invaded her body, and had fucked around with it – joy. Her hands were covered by (oh why isn't that a surprise) black fingerless gloves with steel-plating on the back so that she could easily deflect any weapons with them.

Her frying pan was slung with its strap over the top of this ensemble, resting comfortably upon the brunette's back.

Speaking of hair; Alice had decided that her fringe would be somewhat of a disadvantage during her fight against Kankurō, and the ones after, so she had pinned it back and tucked it behind her ear. Unfortunately, some pieces fell out here and there, not long enough to reach behind her ear, but also not long enough to dangle into her eyes – if just barely. Her hair was still in its side ponytail, but there was a solitary plait in it that blended in well with the rest of her hair.

You make think that such random adjustments to her hairstyle was unnecessary and timewasting but…well, I guess you'll just have to wait and see.

**(A/N: Tempted to leave it there, but I know y'all kill me if I do. Beg your pardon for the description of her outfit – I hate reading them too – but someone asked me to describe it accurately and snuff. Anyway, continue on.)**

After nearly an hour of Naruto and Neji duking it out, the entire stadium rose with a thunderous applause as Naruto came up out of the ground with a burst of earth and slammed an uppercut into the unprepared Neji's chin, completely knocking him into the air before arcing back into a plunge towards the ground.

When Hayate verified that Neji could no longer fight, everyone began to clap and cheer for Naruto as he was announced the winner. Both Sakura and Alice were one of the loudest; wolf-whistling and stamping their feet as they cheered happily for the bewildered blond who looked at the people cheering (for _him!_) as if he hadn't seen them before. Luckily, he recovered quickly and began running around the arena grounds, blowing kisses to everyone.

Alice caught one of the kisses and pressed it to her cheek, before returning one of her own to Naruto who caught it with an insanely happy look in his eye. He pumped the fist that had caught the kiss and ran a few more laps before deciding that he would run up to the balcony and yell in excitement alongside his two closest girl friends.

Seeing Neji being carted away by Iryō-nins after lying on the ground stunned for a while, Alice created a kage bunshin and sent it tearing up the side of the wall to get up to the audience stands, before it went sprinting off, jumping over pedestrians and generally causing a ruckus as it went.

'Stupid, cocky bunshin,' Alice thought.

"What did you make that bunshin for?" Sakura asked Alice in confusion.

"Oh," Alice shrugged as she was dragged out of her thoughts, "I wanted to go and see if there was any food places that I could grab stuff from."

"But you're about to be called down," Sakura stated, bewildered. "And I could've told you that there are no food stalls in the arena."

Alice shrugged again. "Eh."

Frowning, Sakura told the girl to dispel the bunshin so that it wouldn't waste its time gallivanting off looking for an imaginary ramen or dango stall.

"She'll be fine!" Alice waved off Sakura's concerns. "Besides, it's not like I can dispel it!"

As Sakura opened her mouth to argue that, yes, you bloody could well dispel your _own _bunshin, an excited Naruto came flying out of the stairwell, already babbling at light speed about his match against Neji – that he won!

Alice took this opportunity to dodge Sakura's questions, knowing that, yes, she could dispel her bunshin, but that would mean it would never get to Neji fast enough to chat to him before his father came, or before he fell unconscious from the pain of his wounds. And it was vital that she talk to him; he had to know how the plan was going.

As Naruto began to describe one of the attacks he made during his fight to Alice, Sakura and Shikamaru – never mind they had _seen _it – Hayate's voice rung out and called for one Kankurō and Alice to come down to the arena.

Offering a salute to her friends, Alice quickly swung herself off the railing she was perched on, making sure to bend her legs to take the impact of her legs landing on the arena grounds below. Upon landing steadily, Alice whirled around to look up at Kankurō with a grin. "C'mon, Kankie! Let's get a moving!"

Scowling angrily and muttering obscenities about the brunette, Kankurō began to make his way down the stairs and to the arena, making sure to take as long as possible to get down there, as to annoy Alice – not like she cared, anyway.

But before he left, Temari brushed her fingers across his arm and stared into his eyes briefly, conveying a message that no one understood, let alone noticed. Gaara was the only one who saw it, and was momentarily confused, but quickly brushed it off; none of that mattered, all that mattered was that he was going to get Ucihha's blood!

With slightly worried eyes, Baki watched Kankuro enter the arena, still unsure of the plan and how it was going to pan out. When Alice had invited herself into the apartment that he, along with the Sand Siblings, had been staying at, she had immediately sat down, propped up her feet, and launched into a rundown of the situation and how Oto was going to betray Suna.

Luckily, Gaara wasn't there at the time, due to him roving Konoha in search of blood, or else he would've reacted negatively to the fact that he was going to be beaten by Naruto.

Baki, Temari and Kankurō had immediately brushed off that crazy thought – that runty, blond idiot beat Gaara? Gaara the unbeatable, not-killable, killing machine, _Gaara?_ – but when Alice began to argue against them, laying down Naruto's strengths; mainly, the fact that Kyūbi was stronger than the singular-tailed Shukaku – he was the god damn container of the biggest Bijū, the fox was going to make him fucking win, even if it killed both Gaara and Naruto

Alice had told them that their men participating in the summoning ritual of Orochimaru's snakes – how did she know about that, the Suna-nin wondered – had to screw up, but to make it believable, and have back-up there so that they wouldn't be killed for their mistakes. Yes, that sounds impossible, but it was the actually the easiest part of the 'plan' that Alice had laid out.

Yeah, they were screwed.

Baki had informed the entirety of the Suna-nin collected about the betrayal of Oto, and they had all promised to turn onto the Oto-nin who had _dared _to try and backstab them. They kill their Kazekage, replace him with a fake, hide it form them, and _still _expect them to be _okay _with that. Hah, they obviously didn't know of the fury of Suna!

So, Baki could only sit, wait, and watch as one of his students went up against the girl who had planned this all from the start; with that devious smile barely hidden and the gleam in her eyes that didn't bode well for _anyone. _Oh, sure, the girl _seemed _to be doing good in the world, what with all the 'saving' of both Konoha and Suna and all, but she had hidden intentions that seemed to hide under her dense surface; hidden deep beneath the bright smiles and teasing words. Maybe deeper than the slight sadness her eyes held, or the passionate words and anger that sparked and fizzled with her movements. No, it was hidden much deeper than that. Down where the madness that occasionally swum into her eyes lived.

The girl known as Alice had so many hidden layers that Baki had his suspicions that she wasn't telling him everything she knew about the invasion and the workings going on behind it. She had told them only the things that really applied to them, but had twisted and braided in some statements that made it seem that she was sketching out the whole thing. But Baki knew better than his students, who were completely convinced by Alice's casual words and façade. He was a seasoned Jōnin, after all, and had seen more betrayals and negotiations gone wrong than how long Alice had even _lived. _He wasn't convinced. Not at all.

The Suna-nin had gotten tired of Alice's assurances that fell flat in his eyes, and had sent a small team of their equivalent of Konoha's ANBU, and Kiri's Hunter-nin, after the girl, to trail her for a while.

And he had found something very interesting.

The brunette, when not training, or hanging around Jiraiya of the Sannin, of all people – the trailers had only gotten a glimpse of the man before backing away, as the man was an incredible sensor when he could be, as a few of the men knew first hand (definitely painful and humiliating memories there…) – met up with two males on a regular basis. The first one being a Nara, one of the competitors in the exams, actually. Alice played strategy games with him, but the interesting thing was what she hinted at for the boy.

She told him of the invasion; but not what Baki had been told.

Alice told the boy of how she had heard of an invasion, and that they were attacking from the north and south, to divide the Konoha-nin. Well, she hadn't _told _him, per see, but had shown him by executing several moves in the game they were currently playing to act out the manoeuvres. It was genius, really, and it was lucky that Nara's themselves were genius, or else the boy wouldn't have been able to pick up the subtle hints.

Alice had also 'told' the Nara about the squads of Oto-nin that were sweeping the outside forests, planning to pick off anyone who tried to escape via them, killing off whoever tried to get out of the village, whether it be 'ally' or enemy. She was definitely planning on the boy to be the one to lead a squad to clean those squads up; whether it was with her, or not, was still unclear.

The other boy that she had been seen frequenting with was a Hyūga, and another competitor. They were met in training grounds, or deep in forests. They spoke much more formally with one another than with the Nara and Alice, both of them trading insults in between. This boy was spoken directly to, no frills or fuss to cloud his vision. Alice spoke of her need for his abilities when he was in the infirmary – after bluntly informing him that he would lose to Naruto and that he would end up there, guaranteed. How his Byakugan was needed to check out who exactly was the Oto-nin in the arena, dressed up and disguised as civilians.

Baki knew that the bunshin that the girl had just sent out was to show the boy a map she had sketched out, of the arena and the seats there, and was to make him point out where exactly the Oto-nin was sitting. He knew that the girl would give this map to him, and tell him to get them to his men hidden in the arena.

Sure, he could do that, but it annoyed him that Alice hadn't told him, but had told the Hyūga, about the coffins that were being prepared in a hidden room somewhere in the arena.

These coffins were to have Oto sacrifices in them, ready to be killed off so that the past Hokages could come alive and kill off the present one in a fantastic battle of strength.

But, of course, Alice had already prepared for that.

She was planning to switch out the people before they could be sacrificed, replacing them with her henge'd bunshin so that she could save their lives and screw up the technique. It was genius, really, but also incredibly devious; now she would have three Oto-nin on her side, as well as a fair few Suna-nin loyalty, if only she would let him tell his men the name of the person who had tipped them off about this whole thing. But she hadn't, and so she remained anonymous to all but five people; Temari, Baki, Kankurō, the Nara boy, and the Hyūga boy.

Considering all that Alice had done, Baki couldn't help but wonder how she had done it all in only one month. But, of course, he knew the answer to that; she had been planning for a _lot _longer than that, and kage bunshin. They were one of Konoha's greatest tools, and the brunette shamelessly abused the power of them.

And Baki wondered if the girl would use that chakra-consuming jutsu in this battle, right before the invasion; but he thought she was too smart for that, and the vials she had attached to her belt, hidden from view, didn't bode well for anyone, judging by their brightly-coloured liquids and powders swirling in their depths.

"Are you ready, Kankurō?" Alice asked with a cocky grin, cocking her hip to one side as she waited for the boy to stand before her. "Let's duke it out well and proper, capishe?"

Kankurō grumbled unhappily about the girl to himself, but stood diligently opposite her. Hayate overlooked the two, eyes sharp for any rule-breaking. "Are you both ready to fight?"

The boy nodded, while the girl grinned wickedly and gave a thumbs up, "You better believe it!"

"Alright." Hayate nodded to the two before raising his arm up in the air. Immediately, Kankurō tensed. Hayate's arm cut through the air. "Hajime!"

Kankurō instantly leapt back and unwrapped Karasu from his back. He knew that Alice already knew of his puppet, so there was no point in hiding it, not like with his other opponent during the preliminaries, who had known nothing about him and his abilities. He then attached chakra strings to the puppet, and it clattered as it straightened up attentively.

Meanwhile, Alice stood in the same position she started in, posture relaxed. She tossed a small white ball in her hands, pulled out from one of her coat pockets. The girl briefly looked around at the surrounding stadium before she focused back on her opponent. She offered a wave before tossing the ball onto the ground, releasing a voluminous cloud of white smoke.

Narrowing his eyes, Kankurō took in the sight of the expanding cloud resulted from a smoke bomb. 'She likes deceit and trickery; she used this attack before, so will she attack with those bunshin again?' Noticing at how there was more substantial white gases mixed into the cloud, the Suna-nin deduced that the girl had activated some sort of jutsu.

Keeping his eyes peeled, Kankurō twiddled his fingers. Karasu jerked before bursting forwards, rushing the smoke cloud to reveal…

Absolutely nothing.

Grinding his teeth in frustration, Kankurō guided Karasu back to him, and away from the empty area that Alice had previously stood in. His senses were strained to catch anything that would mean the girl was approaching, his eyes focusing on the tree line nearby before dismissing it; the mid-morning sun meant that the shadows amongst the trees were barely substantial and couldn't hide anyone within their depths. The trees themselves could hide someone, as they were wide enough, but Kankurō couldn't see any shadow that a body would've formed if it was hidden in there; the shadows stretched towards him and at a slight tilt that would mean that anybody hiding behind the trees would cause their shadow to spread out along with the trees.

So, no, she wasn't in the trees. Or along the outskirts of the arena, as Kankurō found out after slowly rotating, dragging Karasu with him.

Frustration building, Kankurō continued to glare around the arena, straining his eyes as he did so. Where the hell was she? How had she disappeared?

Unbeknownst to the frustrated male, but known to everyone else in the arena, Alice was in plain sight. Well, to them, but not to Kankurō, of course.

Her back nearly brushed Kankurō's as she rotated with him, a shit-eating grin plastered onto her face as she mimicked the boy's movements perfectly. Every time that Kankurō turned, Alice turned with him, feet carefully placed so that they were almost silent, and timed perfectly so that they touched the ground the exact same time of his, any sound she could possibly make muffled by his significantly heavier footsteps. Her arms were also held to mimic Kankurō's position of controlling his puppet, even twitching and wiggling her fingers mockingly in jest of the oblivious boy.

Finally sick of the girl not appearing, Kankurō stopped and roared through the silence of the arena. "WHERE ARE YOU? HURRY UP AND COME OUT AND FIGHT ME! STOP HIDING LIKE A COWARD!"

Naruto couldn't help it. Seeing the Suna-nin get so angry and yelling at nothing, and Alice snickering behind him, one finger pressed to her trembling lips as she winked at the audience, asking them to hide her secret tickled his funny bone. Upon seeing that ridiculous situation continue, Naruto burst into raucous laughter that cut through the tense silence that had occurred after Kankurō's yell.

The laughter that emitted from the blond broke an unseen dam, and soon everyone in the stands were roaring with laughter alongside Naruto, all at Kankurō's expense.

And the boy seemed to pick up on this.

Scowling heavily, he twisted and turned, trying to find out what they were laughing at, Alice shadowing his every move with a deftness that hinted at something more.

The Chunin proctors saw this, and commented well on it. To be able to stay so close to someone without them catching sight, sound, or even sensing their chakra, required a lot of skill. Skill that Alice obviously possessed.

Chunin needed to be able to sneak and steal through the night, unseen by those that are their enemy; Alice obviously could do this, and that was duly noted and praised, but points were taken off just as quickly – she was just playing around, not taking this seriously, which was something that was a big no-no if she wanted to become a Chunin. Chunin were needed to lead squads of Genin, and to have the younger shinobi trust them with their lives. A joker had no place leading a squad of Genin – they would lead them to their doom.

It was just like the Uzumaki boy; she had the skills, but she didn't apply them with the proper manner. Where he didn't know when to back down, or hide, she didn't know when to take things seriously, and just strike the final blow, which she could've done several times now.

But they were very much wrong there. Very wrong indeed.

Alice knew that they were marking her down – she could see their expressions whenever she turned to face them – but she didn't care. She knew that she had no chance of becoming Chunin, anyways. A foreigner who had only been here a few months and has yet to prove her loyalty to Konoha become Chunin? When she wasn't even a proper Genin yet? Preposterous!

So, she might as well have fun while she was here, right?

Another thing was about the 'killing blow' that Alice supposedly couldn't do. Oh, she could damn well do it. She could easily unsheathe a kunai and stab Kankurō in the back right now, but she wouldn't showcase her skills at all, and that would make her plans be absolutely un-impervious; so, a no-no.

Besides, she _was _having a lot of fun. Her feet carefully timed and her movements exactly like her opponents more blocky and sturdy stance; a perfect mimicry.

But it was starting to get boring, and Alice wanted to actually have a fight.

With that thought solidified in her mind, Alice carefully stuck her leg back the next time Kankurō stepped. Her leg tangled with his and the boy quickly tripped up at the unexpected extra limb. Yelping, he lost concentration on his chakra strings as he went down, Karasu dropping into a heap a few metres away.

Alice quickly pounced. With a sharp kick, she sent the boy tumbling away from her, and his puppet. But Kankurō recovered just as fast.

Tumbling with the kick, he used the momentum to roll upright and launch kunai he had drawn in his tumble at his opponent. Alice plucked the two weapons out of the air and sliced through the chakra strings beside her that Kankurō had tried to reattach to his puppet, barely sensing the thin strings with her hyperaware chakra sensors.

Cursing to himself, Kankurō quickly flicked out another couple of chakra strings, trying to catch Alice this time.

The girl managed to twist and flip away from the first few strings with some acrobatics, slicing some with the two borrowed kunai she had thrown, but the last three caught her on the right arm, left leg, and the back of her neck.

Grinning evilly, Kankurō yanked his hands inwards, cruelly pulling Alice's caught limbs into her chest. She yelped in pain as her arm and leg crossed over and her head tried to flip itself around her body. The loss of stable limbs meant she was off-balance, and she quickly crashed into the ground.

Kankurō took this opportunity to detach his strings from Alice and reapply them, along with several others, to Karasu. He would've liked to be able to hold Alice still while he made Karasu run her through with several blades, but he couldn't control two things so well as yet. And he was also kind of allied with her, so he didn't want to _kill _her exactly – but in all fairness, when she had told him to fight her, she had asked him to go full steam ahead, no restraints whatsoever.

Well, she asked for the full force, so Kankurō might as well give it to her, seeing as she was allowing it, and he _really _didn't like this annoying girl with her know-it-all attitude.

Jerking his hands, Kankurō pushed Karasu forwards, making the hideous puppet rush the girl laying upon the ground. A sharp blade unsheathed itself out of the palm of each puppets hands, dripping with a purple liquid. Smirking, Kankurō made the puppet dive onto the girl and stab her.

Not one to go down so easily, Alice contorted her body at a ridiculous degree to miss the blades, limbs entwined with the puppets. Karasu's mouth juddered open and leered at Alice, revealing a hollow tube that aimed itself at the girl.

"This poison won't hurt you," smirked Kankurō, "too much, anyway." With a flick of his wrist, he activated the poison valve and doused Alice with a deep cloud of poison that billowed around her, nearly hiding her trapped body from other people's view. Attempting to hold her breath, Alice struggled to slide herself from underneath Karasu's bulky body, but the blades dripping with poison came close to cutting her every time she shifted – she was definitely stuck.

"What kind of poison is this?" Hayate asked Kankurō from his position to the side of the battle. "Is it a deadly one, or is it a tranquiliser? I need to know so that I can call the match or not, if it's a deadly one."

"Oh," sighed Kankurō mockingly, "it's not dangerous, but it'll definitely leave her a bit…_indisposed_, shall we say? It's a Suna special that'll definitely blow her mind away, literally. It targets the mind and shuts it down, but not after giving the infected some hallucinations."

Right at that moment, high-pitched, panicked screaming came from where Alice was mostly hidden in the cloud of poison. The barest outline of her body could be seen struggling and writhing with unseen agony. The screams never seemed to peter out, staying the same intense, terrified volume that made several weak-stomached civilians in the stands shudder.

"Alice-nee!" Naruto shouted down, panicking at the sight and sound of one of his precious people struggling. "C'mon! Get up!"

"That poison is highly dangerous," Sakura muttered mostly to herself, worry lines etched into her face. "I've come across it in my studies, and it doesn't affect the body much, but it wreaks havoc on the mind. Alice will…it'll be bad if that Suna-nin doesn't let her out soon; she'll suffer some real psychological damage."

With wide eyes, Naruto looked from Sakura down to where Karasu was bent over a still screaming figure. Alice was becoming more and more visible with every passing second as the poison dissolved into the air. The blond bit his lip in worry, unsure of what to do.

Keeping one eye on the two worried Team Seven members next to him, Shikamaru studied Alice with sharp eyes. Something was up; Alice wouldn't have planned so long for this match, only for it to fall through in the first ten minutes. She was definitely doing something that the crowd couldn't see, and it frustrated the Nara that he, also, could not see what was going to come next.

And with a twist of her hips, along with a wood-shattering mule kick, Alice began the next phase.

Karasu stumbled back from the force of the duel kick, blades coming out of the ground with it. A large indent was carved into its chest, caving in the hollow area. Splinters dropped from it and its mouth clattered shut as it stood there listlessly, due to the lack of movement coming from its master.

Kankurō stared in shock as Alice leant back before kicking up, getting to her feet without the use of her arms. The brunette twirled around and bowed to the Suna-nin, revealing a neck webbed with dark, poison-filled veins. Her head came up and Alice grinned with black lips, a blue tongue darting out to wet the twisted flesh.

"H-how?" Kankurō stuttered out the question that was on everyone's minds and lips. "How the fuck are you still…"

"Up and at 'em?" Alice asked cockily, her bloodshot eyes staring into Kankurō's disbelieving ones. "Well, it's simple; I have had a tolerance for poison for a while now, and it was the simple matter of exposing myself to different types of Suna poisons that I got a hold of, or created myself. You were bound to use at least one of them on your puppet, and I was lucky enough that you used a fairly common one, otherwise I'd be a lot worse off, since I built up a bigger tolerance to the common ones. Lucky me, I guess."

The brunette snickered to herself. "The screaming was pretty good, wasn't it? Nice acting skills by me!" The girl's voice then changed as she sang the next part mockingly, black lips flashing white teeth through them. "Fakers gotta fake, fake, fake~!" She snickered a bit more, clearly amused by her inside joke.

Scrambling for his cocky and confident look, Kankurō managed to sneer back an answer. "Well, it seems that you haven't completely gotten used to it; you're shaking and twitching, and I can see the poison still in your veins, weakening your mind with every second." By the end of his speech, Kankurō had managed to pull back some of his old bravado, and was already preparing to indispose Alice with Karasu. His fingers tensed, at the ready, for when Alice was deemed too weak to defend herself.

"Maybe," agreed Alice easily, "but I _could _just do this." Fingers searching along her belt, Alice fumbled for a pink liquid filled vial. Tugging it out, she uncorked it and gulped it down, face screwing up at the bitter taste.

Catching a faint wisp of the vial's scent, Kankurō paled considerably. "The antidote?"

"Yup." Alice's disposition was currently lightening up once more, the veins returning to their normal colour as the poison was attacked and flushed out by the vial's contents. "I made some antidotes, just in case you decided to use your poison against me. I collect the herbs and stuff myself, even boiling it up myself." Her voice changed into a throaty cackle that sounded dreadfully evil. "Double, double, toil and trouble. Fire burn and cauldron bubble." She finished off with a round of cackling that had Kankurō fearing of her lack of sanity.

'Dear sweet Kami,' the Suna-nin thought, shuffling back a few steps, 'we've put our trust in a fucking psycho!' Taking his eyes off Alice for a second, Kankurō looked to Karasu to drag him forwards, but found himself face-to-face with a suddenly serious Alice.

"She's fast!" Naruto exclaimed from the stands, finishing off his victory dance at Alice's recovery so that he could gawk down at the brunette. "What did she drop there, though?"

"Weights," Sakura answered, "she told me about them. They make the muscles stronger the more you wear them, and as a result, your body strengthens and you're able to move faster. But to see the results…she's nowhere near Lee's level, but she's a lot faster than before."

"Yeah!" Agreed Naruto. "It's awesome!"

'Thank you Gai,' Alice thought to herself as she pressed forwards, leaning her face into Kankurō's. As soon as she noticed the boy was off-balance from her sudden appearance, she pivoted on one foot and slammed the other into his side, curving it under his outstretched arms to send him stumbling back. Following up not long after with a low sweep of her legs, Alice succeeded in knocking Kankurō to the ground. She chased after him as he tried to alternately get up and control Karasu, not having much luck with both.

Alice raised her right leg both dropping it into an axe kick that cracked the ground where Kankurō's head had been a mere millisecond earlier, having rolled to the side to avoid the attack. The boy rocked to his feet a swung an arm out to the side, hoping to hit Alice in the back of the head. But the brunette dropped abruptly into the splits, legs going in front and behind her.

Even after trying his best to disengage from the close-combat, as he wasn't very good at taijutsu, Kankurō was thwarted again. Alice planted both hands firmly into the ground before lifting her entire body into a handstand off the hard-packed earth. She rotated her body in a mocking dance move – known as the helicopter – to slam her legs into Kankurō's chest to knock him down again.

The boy rolled with the unexpected fall, popping up fast enough to drag the slightly damaged Karasu in front of him to block Alice's next punch. The fist crunched against the already broken chest and Alice hid a wince at the sensation of splinters of wood trying to work their way under her skin. She recovered quickly, though, and continued to pursue close-combat, since she knew that her opponent was weak there.

Dodging a swing of one of Karasu's poisoned blades by bending back deeply, matrix-style, Alice danced away from the puppet, attempting to sidle around it to get at the puppet master behind it.

Kankurō saw the brunette coming around from his puppet and acted accordingly. One of his sandalled feet slid itself under one of the discarded kunai that Alice had used earlier, flicking it up into the air so that he could lash out in a spectacular, and surprising, kick that sent it hurtling towards Alice.

Thinking fast, Alice drew her frying pan and deflected the kunai away from her face. In the same motion, she twirled the utensil, with more skill than she had possessed last time Kankurō had seen her, to defend against a hail of senbon that Karasu spat at her. Smoothly moving with the motion of her frying pan swings, Alice ducked under another swipe of the blades. She continued to defend against the puppets advances, slowly being pushed back away from Kankurō, who was concentrating intently on moving the giant moving weapon.

Catching a short break in between swipes of the blades and volleys of senbon, Alice reached into one of her belt pouches to pull out a scroll. Back flipping neatly, Alice landed on top of Karasu's left arm and pirouetted, flicking out the scroll in a dazzling twist of paper. Continuing to twirl her arms to control the long roll of paper, Alice jumped and ducked around Karasu, weaving the scroll around its body.

Realising what she was doing, Kankurō attempted to move Karasu, or break the paper, but the constricting paper turned out to be too strong to break, due to its chakra-concentrated material. The paper finished its last lap around Karasu's shuddering neck and tightened considerably, Alice striking her wrist out to seal the end of the paper to the puppets neck. Forming a quick horse seal as she balanced on Karasu's right arm, Alice slammed her hand down on the paper, resulting in the brushed on words to light up and wriggle around, trailing down the puppets body.

"What are you doing?" Kankurō demanded, fingers wriggling madly to free his puppet, to no avail. "Stop screwing around with my puppet!"

Alice ignored him, face carefully blank as she leapt away from the tangled form of the puppet, who was now not moving.

"What did you do?" Howled Kankurō, movements becoming more frenzied. "Release Karasu!"

"In due time," Alice said quietly, "and don't worry; your puppet isn't damaged, I merely placed a constraining seal on it. It won't be able to move until I release it."

From the sidelines, Kotetsu smirked at the Suna-nin's shocked expression, before examining the brunette gazing at him from around his captured puppet. "Both of them have some good points; it's been a while since I've seen a puppeteer come from Suna, after all."

Next to him, Izumo nodded in agreement. "Yeah, he's pretty good with his puppets, but that seems to be it. He seems to have an aptitude with planning strategies, but he's too hot headed to act upon them patiently. He needs some more experience out on the field before he can mature enough to lead a team of his own."

"Mm-hm, the brunette's keeping him clouded in anger, a good play on her half." Kotetsu kept his gaze on Alice as she leapt over the puppet to attack Kankurō, her duel kick blocked by the boy before her legs were grabbed and she was swung away. The Chunin chuckled when the girl landed on all fours, like a cat, before springing up and engaging in a brief taijutsu match against Kankurō. "You can definitely tell that Alice has been trained by Anko; the light and flexible way she moves, but the strength behind her hits tells it all."

"Yeah," said Izumo, "and she can use fuinjutsu. That's pretty impressive."

"And rare," added Kotetsu. "But I wonder if she's really that good at it. I mean, she could've had someone else prepare the seals for her, and it seems like she can't create any seals on the fly, since she has no supplies on her."

"They could be hidden in one of her numerous scrolls," offered Izumo, "but you're probably right; it doesn't seem like she can, and the Suna-nin is pressing her too much for her to do anything, anyways. He may not be good at taijutsu, but he sure knows how to use those chakra strings. How many times has the snake-brat been tripped now?"

"Five," snickered Kotetsu. "No, wait, six now."

"Ouch," Izumo winced, "that's gotta hurt. Right into the trees, as well."

Recovering from her spell into the tree line fringing the arena, Alice shook her head softly to get rid of the pain. "Bloody hell." The girl grunted in an English accent, face twisted in mild irritation. She was getting tired of this game, and was really digging the idea of heading up to the stands to take a nap and chill before the whole invasion shenanigans began. Yep, that sounded great.

Mind made up, Alice kept her eyes on Kankurō as she walked out of the shattered remains of the tree he had thrown her into mere moments ago. She tucked her frying pan back into its sheath and dusted herself off, brushing off splinters that dislodged from small cuts on her bare legs.

"How'd you like that?" Kankurō smirked cockily, arms crossed in front of him as he stood by his still-frozen puppet. "You know that another hit like that will put you out entirely."

Raising a brow at the hidden message in there – _you'll be too injured to act upon the invasion, won't you? Ha ha! _– Alice replied with an even tone. "It seems like you've been doubting my skills this whole time, yet I've been proving you wrong this whole time; shouldn't that be telling you something?"

"Hmpf," Kankurō snorted, "you've yet to use any ninjutsu or genjutsu. It makes me think that you have no chakra to speak of."

"It's cute that you try and talk tough," replied Alice dryly, "but we both know that I have more than enough chakra to outlast you. And besides," the brunette shrugged disarmingly, "I don't need flashy jutsu, or anything like that. That's isn't what being a ninja is about."

Heatedly, Kankurō began to argue against her. His anger clouded his vision, and he dismissed the fact that Alice was tugging her pins from her fringe, unbinding some of the spiky hair. Disguising her movements with simple stretching motions, Alice managed to chuck the thin, poison-covered senbons that she had disguised as bobby pins towards Kankurō.

The boy jumped slightly as the senbon struck home against his jugular, and frowned as he felt a tingling sensation begin to form in his fingertips and toes. "What the…"

"Strike!" Alice called out as she walked towards him. Stepping in front of the boy, she smiled slightly as he began to sway and his eyesight got hazy. Lifting a finger, Alice flicked it against his head. "Batter out!"

Kankurō's eyes rolled into the back of his head as the poison took hold, and he collapsed backwards, unconscious.

"Now that's a tranquiliser," Alice remarked as she bent down to pluck the modified senbon from the boy's neck, pinning them back in her hair. "Thank you, Tenten, for giving me those kunoichi-issued senbon." Standing up with a smirk playing around her mouth, Alice bowed deeply to Hayate as he announced her the winner.

"Thank you, thank you," she crowed in an Elvis impression. "Thank you very much!"

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**OH MY FUCKING GOD! THAT TOOK FOREVER TO WRITE! AND IT WAS HELL TO WRITE! I'M SORRY IF IT WAS SHIT BUT I DON'T CARE RIGHT NOW I'M GOING TO BED AND FORGETTING ABOUT THIS MESS GOODBYE!**


	27. Act 5 Part 3: Let

**Hello my fellow Narutards, it was a solemn day a few days ago; the ending of our beloved series…but although it has ended, this story has only just begun!**

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**Disclaimer: **_I could never come up with names like Sunflower and Bolt, so I highly doubt I own Naruto._

**Warning: **_Language. Fighting. Whatever. It's a pretty shit chapter, I'll warn you now._

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**Alice P.O.V.**

It was only after some pansy-footing around at Sasuke's absence, postponing his match, and getting past some arguments about his whereabouts that Sakura and Shikamaru were called down for their matches.

Sakura's face instantly turned serious from where she was heatedly discussing where Sasuke was with Naruto. She turned around stiffly and looked over to Shikamaru, who had a bored look on his face as he leant on the balcony railings of where we were, and gazed up into the clouds passing by overhead.

"C'mon, Shikamaru," Sakura said heatedly, "get your lazy ass moving down into the arena; we've got a fight to do!"

"…So troublesome," Shikamaru murmured, seemingly not hearing Sakura as his eyes followed one particularly heavy cloud. "These whole exams are a bad idea…I hate fighting girls, and yet, I always seem to get them as an opponent."

"You can bitch about your luck later!" Sakura leaned past me to latch a hand onto Shikamaru's jacket collar, already beginning to drag him down towards the stairs by the time I realised what was happening. "You're going to verse me, and you're going to get fucking pumped; we'll work out what happens next after that!"

I watched with amusement as Shikamaru put up no resistance, his body thumping its way down the stairs behind a storming Sakura. His clothes would be dusty by the time he got down to the arena, having been used as a brush the whole way down.

Sakura's clothes would be pristine when she entered the arena though, and her red shirt probably would shine in the sun; Ebisu had improved the practicality of her wardrobe, but he couldn't rid her of her love for red.

Her new shirt was almost like the Shippuden one now, but it had sleeves that were edged in white and standard shinobi gloves in a navy colour. She still wore three-quarter length shorts, though, and the black looked quite nice with her short and regular sandals. Not much may have changed physically, but Sakura looked more confident in herself as she walked into the arena to a cheering crowd, braid bouncing behind her with her momentum and Shikamaru looking disgruntled as he padded by her side.

"Sakura-chan's going to be awesome!" Naruto spoke up from his position beside me, eyes never straying from his teammate. "She's totally going to rock Shikamaru!"

Choosing to pass by the sexual innuendo that Naruto unknowingly placed in his sentence – Naruto isn't the best person to say perverted comments to as he doesn't even understand most of the words used – I nodded in agreement. "Sakura is probably a lot stronger than she was a month ago, but we can't underestimate Shikamaru; he's _literally _a genius."

"Hmph, that dope a genius?" Temari snorted from where she was leaning against the back wall of the balcony, close to Gaara, but not close enough for him to get annoyed. Kankurō was right beside her, still looking slightly peaky from the poison my senbon had on them, even after I injected the antidote into him. "I doubt he knows which end of a kunai is which."

I snickered at that, and laughed harder when Temari's face blossomed into a dark red colour. "What? Why are you laughing at me?!"

Quickly shutting my mouth and stopping my laughter so that Temari wouldn't get more offended, I replied nonchalantly – I could still piss her off, just not to a level that means she would hit me with her heavy fan. "His IQ is over two hundred, Temari. If that's not genius, I don't know what is – and don't say Sasuke or Neji, 'cause genius's should be able to get over their egos and actually be somewhat good at interacting with other human beings."

There was a derisive sniff from Temari before she fell silent, glaring down at the match that was about to begin below us all.

I hid a smile at that and turned to watch Sakura and Shikamaru fight; this was one of the few that I had no idea of how it would turn out in the end. Shikamaru and Sakura were both incredibly smart, but Shikamaru was more so, and Sakura's smarts leant more her ability to remember things than being able to think things up on the fly like Shika. Sakura was a lot stronger physically than Shikamaru, and that could place her ahead of Shikamaru's genius since he has no idea of her current abilities, but it was probably going to come down to whoever made the most of the situations that arose.

But, really, all Shikamaru knows about Sakura is that she can heal and that her physical prowess is a whole heck higher than when she was in the Academy; that's not much to go off since he doesn't know how _far _these abilities go.

We were definitely in for a close match.

I shivered slightly as I watched Sakura go marching into the arena, tossing Shikamaru to one side so that he could face her when she was ready; I'm all fired up!

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**3****rd**** Person P.O.V.**

Cracking her knuckles with an ominous symphony of pops, Sakura glared across at her opponent. "You better give me a good fight, Shikamaru. I've been waiting a whole month for this, after all!"

"Yeah, yeah…" sighed Shikamaru uncaringly, hands in his pockets. "Can we just get this over with?" He directed the last part at Hayate, who was watching over the two kids with an amused expression on his weary face. Quickly coughing to clear his throat (and diseased lungs), Hayate raised his arm up between Sakura and Shikamaru. "Are both contestants ready to begin?"

"Damn straight; shannaro!"

"Whatever…sure…"

"I declare this match to…begin!"

Immediately after dropping his arm in show of the match beginning, Hayate leapt back to a safe distance, just in case one of the genins went off with an explosive start – there was always one. Instead, the two stood there staring at each other, much like the last match, only Sakura had dropped into a ready position, both hands dangling in front of her, but her right hand was up in front of her face to block he from any sudden attacks.

As a moment filled with tenseness passed, Shikamaru finally shifted on his feet. Sakura instantly shifted as well, mimicking every shift of his body as closely as she could, just like how Ebisu had told her; if you have your enemy in your sights the entire time, you can never lose them.

At seeing her movements, Shikamaru let out a suffering sigh and stilled once more. "You're going to be an irksome opponent; all revved up and determined to fight until the end…I hate those kind of opponents."

"Too bad," bit out Sakura, "how sad. Now, can we fight?" Without waiting for an answer, Sakura launched several kunai at Shikamaru, each of them vibrating with the strength behind them.

Slightly surprised by said strength, Shikamaru quickly twisted his body and head to dodge the kunai, feeling the pull on his clothes from the wind accompanying the weapons. Righting himself with a frown, Shikamaru locked his gaze onto Sakura. Only to find that she was gone.

"Damn," he deadpanned, scanning around the arena for his opponent. "I wanted to go sneak off; she's taken the first move that I wanted to use."

While to everyone else listening, it seemed like he was simply standing there complaining, but a select few could recognise the small furrow between his brows that meant he was thinking hard about what to do next; this enemy couldn't be underestimated, not when she was that intelligent.

Before Shikamaru could make any movements to finding Sakura, she came darting out of the tree line nearby, hands already loaded with deadly shuriken. She flung them as she ran parallel to Shikamaru, the weapons whistling through the air to narrowly miss the Nara, who only just weaved out of their paths.

Lips pressed into a thin line, Sakura continued to press her advantage. Putting on a burst of speed, she came swinging towards Shikamaru, leg already raised up for a side kick. Her attack missed again as Shikamaru hastily dodged under it, a faint look of surprise evident in his sharp eyes.

The clan-member hopped up into the air to dodge a sweeping kick from Sakura, who then pursued him into the air. Flipping herself neatly, Sakura kick her legs out in a jackhammer move that slammed into Shikamau's back and sent him hurtling towards the ground.

When he hit the ground, Shikamaru went up into a burst of white smoke, leaving only a dented log behind.

Up on the spectators stands, Asuma looked down proudly at the scene of Sakura landing on the ground lightly, scowl plastered heavily on her face. "He's already planned ahead."

Intrigued by this comment, Kurenai turned to the Sarutobi. "What do you mean by that, Asuma? He can't have planned for that to happen, it was a reflex to Sakura's attack."

At this, Asuma shook his head, chuckling all the while. "No, it wasn't. Shikamaru's rarely taken by surprise; he's much too smart for that. I know that look on his face when Sakura disappeared, and he wasn't surprised at all. It's hard to catch him off-guard. Whenever I verse him in Shōgi, I lose. _Spectacularly._"

"Obviously your smarts are greatly exaggerated, then," Kurenai replied dryly. "Genins beating you…? My, how the great have fallen, Asuma."

"Ha, Ha," Asuma laughed flakily. "Say what you wish, but I'm not surprised that I've never beaten him. I gave him a puzzle to complete, but it was disguised as an estimate to see how high his IQ really is – I wouldn't be surprised if he knew that as well – and his results were incredible. He's in the two hundreds, Kurenai. The _two hundreds!_"

"No way!" gasped the genjutsu mistress, crimson eyes going down the arena where Sakura was prowling around the edges of the trees, obviously looking for her opponent. "If he's smart then—"

"Yep," Asuma said assuredly, "he's a certified genius!"

Unaware of the conversation going on up in the stands, Sakura was currently searching for Shikamaru, getting angrier and angrier with the lack of her opponents presence.

"When I find him," seethed Sakura, poking around in a bunch of bushes with her kunai at the ready, "I'm going to wring out his scrawny, little neck; **shannaro!**"

Up in a nearby tree, crouching on a thick tree branch, Shikamaru had to supress a shiver. _'Why do I always get the homicidal ones…?'_

Almost as if sensing the small tremor that Shikamaru couldn't completely supress, Sakura suddenly pivoted on her foot and flung her kunai right towards where Shikamaru was hiding.

The boy had to clasp the branch tightly and slide across it to swing upside down beneath it, looking distinctly alike to the animal he was often compared to; a sloth.

Just as he was scrambling down the tree using chakra, Sakura came slamming into where he had been moments ago, snapping the tree limb cleanly off the trunk and showering a shocked Shikamaru with splinters. 'Just how strong has Sakura become?'

Up in the stands, that thought was reflected in Ino's mind as she stared with wide eyes at her old best friend and possibly-still rival. 'If she had that kind of strength when she versed me, I'm glad she didn't use it; I would've been broken as easily as that branch!'

Sakura continued to demonstrate her tremendous strength by dropping down off the trunk she had latched onto to stop her motion, creating a fairly impressive cater as her legs bore into the ground. The attack only just nicked Shikamaru with shrapnel as he scrambled away, causing him to wince and hiss out a breath as the sharp pain made itself known.

While Shikamaru and Sakura began a game of cat-and-mouse around the arena (involving several new craters and some very close-calls to Shikamaru getting his head taken off by Sakura's fists), another person was analysing the fight very closely.

Alice, unlike Ino and Shikamaru, was more concerned as to _how _Sakura had become so strong; she hadn't mentioned any training of the sort for strength.

'I _do _need to consider the fact that Sakura thinks that there's a possibility that she could verse me, and wouldn't wish for all of her tricks to be known to me.' Alice tilted her head as she watched Sakura smash another foot into the ground, quickly burying it up to the top of her sandal. She dug it up swiftly, though, in time to dodge a barrage of kunai from Shikamaru who was trying his best to retreat from the obviously faster and stronger opponent.

'She's pushing chakra to her limbs and releasing it in time to impact with the ground, just like Tsunade and she, later on in the series, do for their super-strength attacks. Granted, it's nowhere near as powerful as her attacks in Shippuden, but I'll already say that they're akin to what abilities was shown at the beginning of the training with Tsunade in the time skip. Odd.'

_The fact that the timeline has been moved forwards, or that the man you handed her off to managed to help her out physically, which you didn't expect him to do?_

Mulling over Shingami's words as she watched Shikamaru catch his breath and attempt to catch Sakura with his kage mane, who flipped backwards in a fast succession to get out of the way, Alice answered it as honestly as she could.

'Firstly; _I _didn't hand Sakura off to Ebisu, _Kakashi_ did. Secondly; yes, I am surprised that he managed to teach he something new physically. Heck, I'm actually fairly surprised that he managed to teach her _anything. _Granted, we weren't shown much of his teaching abilities in canon, but by Konohamaru's disinterest, added with Naruto's dislike of his ability to teach – ignoring his disgruntlement of being fobbed off to him by Kakashi – I'd say that he wasn't a very good teacher.

_I'd say that his style of teaching didn't interest the more hands-on learners that the brat and Naruto are; Sakura, on the other hand, would greatly benefit from his textbook teaching abilities and theories. She seems to be the type to learn by something being explained fully to her, maybe demonstrated once, and then work it out on her own. She also informed us that the man gave her books to possibly learn some taijutsu stances (since she can only use your hebi style or the Academy style) as well as the medical books she had borrowed from the library._

'Wow, you _really _don't like using people's names.'

_They are insignificant and not worthy enough of my acknowledgement of their existence.'_

'Testy, testy. Also, Sakura didn't tell _us _about the books she was reading, she told _me. _We are not conjoined, and Sakura certainly doesn't know about you, so she couldn't possibly address us both.'

_No matter how many times you ignore or deny it, we are _one. _It'll always be like that, and you can't escape from it, no matter how much you pretend to not be part of me, and I a part of you._

'Don't remind me…'

A sound almost akin to a snort came from Alice's tenant, making her lips twist into a wry smile. 'I'm glad that you think my misery's so funny.'

_Hmph._

'Whatever.'

Rolling her eyes at the Death god's lack of social skills, Alice addressed her attention back to the fight below, sure that something interesting would happen soon.

Well, she was partly right. It all depends in what you called _interesting. _If you call Sakura creating craters in the ground as Shikamaru attempted to trap her with his shadows, you'd be right.

The shadow-use was having a lot of trouble with his opponent, Sakura being fast enough to dodge his shadows and strong enough to crack and break the ground beneath her punches and kicks. As he tossed a bunch of kunai at the pink-haired girl to gain some breathing room, Shikamaru wished that he was at home, maybe watching a bunch of clouds or sleeping. Unfortunately for him, he had to deal with this troublesome girl that was attempting to crush his head with her legs. Then he had to deal with another troublesome girl's plans to defeat a bunch of shinobi that he wanted nothing to do with. Why was it the year that he competed in the Chūnin exams that there was an invasion by Suna and Oto?

Before he could lament his misfortune any further, Shikamaru had to perform a series of jumps backwards to dodge another one of Sakura's ridiculously overpowered drop kicks. This one formed a large dish in the ground, spider web cracks extending out from it so far that Shikamaru feel the ground beneath his feet cracking open.

Stumbling back a few steps onto safer ground, Shikamaru squinted his droopy eyes at his opponent who was slumped over the other side of the crater, breathing heavily. "Just what kind of training have you been doing to get this kind of strength, Sakura?"

The kunoichi perked up slightly at that, her face proud as she bragged about how hard she had trained to get to this level. As she talked, Shikamaru discreetly placed his hands in the rat sign. He then carefully began to extend his shadow, curving it gracefully and stealthily over to where the nearest crater was. He had been planning this for a while, making sure that Sakura hit the ground in exactly the right place to make a chain of small shadows that he could link his own to. His own shadow was stretched thin with the lack of shadows in the shallow craters, but it was enough to make its way over to the talking girl.

A rare smirk found its way to Shikamau's face. "Kage mane, success." He relaxed his posture to its usual slump, the surprised and now speechless Sakura forcibly copying him. "W-what the hell! I made sure to stay out of your jutsus range! I know your shadow only extends about fifteen metres, so how the hell did you manage to get it the whole way towards me?" Her body trembled as she spoke, showing the work she was putting into getting free.

In answer to her, Shikamaru cocked his hip to one side, Sakura mimicking him with a disgruntled expression on her face. "It was simply, really. I just made sure that you hit the ground where I wanted you to, creating craters in a series that meant I could extend my shadow through them and to you." He then lifted a thin eyebrow at her, some acknowledgement coming into his dark eyes. "It was impressive how you managed to slip in a few genjutsu that made me think you were a few centimetres to the left or right of where you were; they were so subtle I almost missed them, and placed at the right moments that, more often than not, I completely missed you with my weapons." The boy finished with a nod to the girl before beginning to finish off the match.

Sakura, face twisting in anger and self-loathing, was forced to walk towards the Nara as he clomped forwards, hands in his pockets. Both were slightly beat up as they met in the centre of the arena, but it was obvious that Shikamaru was more physically exhausted out of the two. While Sakura had some cuts and bruises and dust across her pale skin, from where Shikamaru had thrown kunai and shuriken or set of explosive tags, Shikamaru was leaning over slightly more than usual as he nursed his stomach. He had been hit there by a strategically-placed movement from Sakura, in which she cracked the ground with her leg before smashing a chunk of earth at the airborne Shikamaru as he tried to get away.

Just as Shikamaru was about to give a massive shock to the audience and proctors by placing his hand up and forfeiting, there came a slight breeze at his back, accompanied by a clink of metal. A puff of warm air was breathed down his jacket as whoever was behind him spoke. "Too late, Shikamaru. You lose."

Eyes widening, Shikamaru turned his head to the side, careful not to scratch his throat on the kunai that had seemed to come out of nowhere, to peer at whoever was holding him at kunai point.

Sakura, with a devious gleam in her eyes, looked back at him, kunai gripped tightly in her hands.

Shikamaru glanced back at where she had been before, not especially surprised to see that no one was there anymore. He looked back at the Sakura behind him, shocked gaze become tinted with curiosity. "How?"

"I'll explain after you forfeit," shot back Sakura. "Even if you don't forfeit with me holding you at kunai point, I can simply cut the wire that makes a giant log come crashing down from the tree line to squish you. As I leap away, and you attempt to, I can activate the explosive tags beneath your feet to blow you sky high. And if that doesn't work, I can—"

"All right, all right," Shikamaru grumbled, "I get it. You didn't need to say anymore, I was going to forfeit anyways."

Sakura smiled happily at him, "Good!"

With drooping eyes, Shikamaru turned to Hayate, who stood nearby. "Proctor, I forfeit."

"Are you sure?" Hayate asked after a round of coughing. "There's no going back."

"Yeah," Shikamaru said, "I forfeit."

As Hayate announced to the audience that Sakura was winner by default, said pink-haired girl was releasing her tense pose to let Shikamaru free from her kunai.

Rubbing his neck with a grumble, Shikamaru turned to the girl with an expectant expression. "Was that kage bunshin? You were over there, but no you're hear; what technique did you use?"

"Genjutsu," Sakura replied simply as she packed away her kunai. "Although you were good enough to dispel my direction-altering genjutsu, I could tell that you were slightly unexperienced with genjutsu as you took a moment to recognise what had happened. I capitalised on your weakness and began to layer over more and more genjutsu, until you were seeing what you wanted to see while I snuck around you. I also made you think that the craters I made were deeper than they really were, and placed exactly where you wanted them to be rather than the erratic array I had created; you never would've captured with your shadow."

After frumbling about not seeing that coming, Shikamaru posed the question that had been nniggling at him. "Layering genjutsu? Isn't that really troublesome to do? Apparently it takes skill and practise to do something of such a high calibre; I didn't think that you did genjutsu in the Academy."

Turning from the boy and beginning to walk towards the stairs, Sakura replied over her shoulder as Shikamaru began to walk behind her. "I didn't. In the past few months, though, I've been studying medical jutsu as well as genjutsu in my spare time. But it was only until this past month that I've been able to layer them; apparently if you have extremely good chakra control, like me, it's ten times easier to be able to layer genjutsu." She shrugged easily as they began their ascent up the stairs. "It's not actually that hard. You just need concentration and control."

"Both of which you have in spades," the Nara beside her finished. He nodded thoughtfully, gaze faraway. "I didn't see that coming; I didn't realise you were any good at genjutsu. That was one outcome that I didn't plan for."

"Yeah, well, that's the shinobi life for you." Sakura snorted derisively as they walked up the last flight of stairs and into the competitor's balcony.

Almost instantly, Naruto was in their face, cerulean eyes shining bright as he babbled on about how cool the match was and how awesome Sakura-chan was and why he didn't get why Shikamaru kept talking to no one for about five minutes.

Shikamaru turned his head to look dully at Sakura. "You had me trapped for _five_ _minutes_?"

Sakura nodded. "And proud of it."

"Fair enough. I can deal with that."

"Good."

Just as Naruto was going to go on another tirade, Alice slipped into the group. She stared accusingly at Sakura, something almost akin to a pout working its way onto her face – but Alice didn't pout, as she told everyone, so that was simply preposterous. "Why didn't you tell me you were any good at genjutsu? I'm hurt, Sakura-chan."

Sakura shrugged in answer. "It never really came up."

Before Alice could reply that she very much did ask about how Sakura was training whenever they met up in the onsen, Naruto jumped back into the conversation. "Well, of course she can do genjutsu, she's Sakura-chan! But that's not just it; Sakura-chan's practised heaps hard on her genjutsu!"

"Who'd you practise genjutsu on?" Alice asked Sakura, a frown now playing around he foreign features. She then turned to Naruto. "And how the hell do you know about her abilities?"

"Because she practised on my kage bunshin!" Naruto replied proudly, puffing out his chest a little. "That's how!"

"I also practised on Sasuke so that he could practise getting out of genjutsu with his sharingan," inputted Sakura helpfully.

Alice looked between her two friends, barely registering Shikamaru slipping away from the conversation, or Temari and Shino jumping down to the arena (by floating down on a fan and jumping down to land on feet respectively). "But I would've helped you practise, Sakura-chan! Why didn't you tell me about it?"

Naruto and Sakura shared a confused look before Sakura replied honestly. "Well, it seemed like a Team Seven thing, Alice, and you weren't there when we practised. Hell, we didn't know _where _you were!" At seeing Alice's sad face, Sakua leant in closely and pointed an accusing finger at her. "And don't even think about pointing fingers at us because I _know _you've got heaps of secrets that you're not telling us!"

Alice's face instantly soured. She turned away from them, falling into a blank expression. "Right. I know." With her short, clipped words, the atmosphere went tense, and Shikamaru stealthily edged away from the trio of friends, wishing that Shino wasn't currently competing so that his tall form could help shield him.

Talking of Shino, the boy was currently facing the taller and older shinobi in the form of Temari. She was smirking assuredly at him, fan clutched in her hands. "How is this going to go down, Bug boy? I know your little tricks, so I hope you've brought something new to the table."

Shino adjusted his glasses with precise movements. "I, also, know of your abilities. Why? Because I saw them in the preliminaries."

"Right…" Temari was slightly taken aback by his blunt, logical words, but she easily brushed her surprise aside in preparation for beating his ass into the ground. "Let's begin then!"

Barely waiting for Hayate's signal, Temari launched a gust of wind towards Shino with her fan. The wave of wind swept towards Shino at a fast pace, tearing the ground up and sucking up pieces of rubble from Sakura's previous attacks.

The boy with the bugs didn't flinch, though, and calmly leapt out of the way of the attack. As soon as he landed, Temari was in front of him, fan held out to the side momentarily, before it came swinging in to hit Shino in his side.

However, it didn't get the chance to hit. Shino pulled something from the folds of his coat and lifted them up to block the large weapon. Instantly, sparks flew from the contact and a loud clanging rung out, making the spectators wince at the sound. The two opponents pushed in towards each other, trying to gain the upper hand.

A few moments of this stalemate passed before the two disengaged and leapt back, watching each other warily.

Temari held her fan tightly in her hands as she scrutinised the Aburame, taking special care to note of his weapons-of-choice. 'Sickles…? What a weird choice for a long-ranged fighter. They require speed and flexibility to use, especially as these two are so short; why would he have a weapon like this?'

Up in the stands, beside a crutched Lee, Tenten stared in awe at the two weapons the rookie held. "Aww, man, that's so cool! I've been looking for sickles like that for ages, so how come he's got a pair?"

Down a few seats, Chōji crinkled his nose in thought as he paused in eating one of the numerous bags of chips he had packed for the occasion. "I don't remember Shino ever using weapons. Do you?" He directed the last part towards his blonde teammate, who sat beside him.

Ino shook her head in answer as she continued to watch the fight pan out. "No, never. But I know that he's been training with his father the entire time leading up until this tournament." At Chōji's confused look, she hastily finished what she was going to say. "Daddy knows Shibi-sama quite well, and had noticed his lack of appearance, so he asked around. People informed him that he was off active-duty for a month to train his son; Shino." The blonde shrugged then. "He must've taught Shino how to wield sickles then."

"Well," inputted Tenten, "he's wielding them pretty damn well!"

And indeed he was.

Whirling the sickles around his body, Shino parried every strike that came from Temari. The Suna-kunoichi didn't have enough time to jump back and use any fūton jutsu as Shino pressed forwards, the sickles pulling her in every time she tried to escape.

This dazzling array of duelling went on for a while, the crowd watching completely enraptured by it. For many, it stopped far too soon when Shino managed to knick Temari across the face with his left sickle, leaving a large scratch that extended from her mouth to her left ear. She returned it quickly by swinging her fan in an downwards stroke that grazed Shino's side and sent him stumbling back from the blunt force behind it.

"Heh." Temari smirked cockily at Shino as she swung her fan over her shoulder to rest. "Not so tough now, are you, Bug boy?"

Shino said nothing in reply as he nursed his side and clutched his sickles tightly. This served to infuriate Temari further, and she quickly wound up her fan for another blast of wind that sent Shino tumbling back.

In the dust cloud that was formed after, a whole bunch of kunai came hurtling out towards the unprepared Temari. She quickly ducked and swerved to dodge most of them, but one managed to get through her defence's and hit her on her right arm, sticking out at an awkward angle.

The girl managed to choke back a scream as she dropped her fan and clutched at her right arm. The pain was incredibly bad, and she only just managed to rip the kunai out of her arm before Shino came at her again with his sickles.

She was stumbling now, with pain, blood loss and fatigue, as she clumsily dodged his advances and tried her best to not get sliced to pieces by his weapons. Just as she was about to leap back and recuperate, Temari found her legs stuck. "What the hell?"

Finally pausing in his assault, Shino stood in front of the struggling girl, glasses flashing. "It would be logical for you to forfeit now. You are captured, and I can simply ask my kikaichū to eat the last of your chakra."

Gasping Temari craned her neck to look down at her feet, finding swarms of black covering her feet, securing them to the ground. As she watched, the cloud crawled up her legs, further covering them. "H-how? How did I not feel them? How'd you managed to capture me without me noticing?"

"It was simple," Shino stated, walking closer to the struggling girl who was slowly being enveloped by hundreds of bugs. "I have managed to develop a new breed of my bugs over the past month. A breed that allows their bite to cause a sense of numbness in the afflicted area. While I engaged you in combat, I simply sent out my bugs to spread out through the area to wait until I had you in one place. When I had you in the correct place, they swarmed up your legs and injected their venom into you, causing your muscles to numb and then freeze up."

Temari swore then, still struggling weakly against the swarm of bugs that were now at her waist. She didn't like this at all, it felt too much like Gaara's coffin. Just the thought of that made her struggle harder, but found her movements sluggish and tired. Just then, a thought hit her, and she flashed her eyes up to glare at Shino. "When did you drain me of my chakra?"

"When?" Shino questioned rhetorically. "From the very beginning."

Before Temari could snap back with an answer, the last of the bugs covered her face, suffocating her. Hurriedly, at seeing the Suna-nin completely incapacitated, Hayate declared Shino the winner and asked that he could release Temari before she choked to death.

Shino obliged stoically, bugs retracted from Temari to disappear back up the sleeves of his coat; causing many people to shudder in disgust. He squatted down in front of Temari's gasping and sprawled form on the ground before injecting a vial of liquid that he pulled from his coat. "An antidote for the venom," was all he said before he turned and headed up the stairs and back to the balcony with the other competitors. Kankurō passed him along the way, intent on collecting his sister and maybe getting that pink-haired girl to heal her arm if he asked Alice.

Upon reaching the balcony, Shino was greeted with polite congratulations from his fellow Konoha-nin. He responded with quiet thank yous and bows of his head, making his way to stand in between Shikamaru and Alice. The trio stood quietly for a moment, staring over the balcony and towards the ground that was being cleared below, before, surprisingly, Shino broke the silence.

"I did not drain all of her chakra. Why? Because I sense that she needs it."

Neither Alice nor Shikamaru reacted largely, but there was a slight stiffening of the Nara's spine that gave away his surprise of the Aburame's words. The girl near him turned with a vacant smile, eyes holding a glint that reflected in Shino's dark glasses as he, too, turned to her. Alice spoke softly, as to not let Sakura, Naruto, or even Gaara to hear. "May I ask why you would think that the Suna-nin needs it, since she's already out for the count in this competition?"

"Because there's something amiss," Shino replied easily. "How do I know? Because my family helped to assist all of the elderly and children to safe shelters, so that they could not be caught up in the invasion."

Shikamaru looked faintly interested at this. "I didn't know that they were evacuating people. How come there's so many civilians in the arena, then?"

Alice was the one to answer for him as she stared around at the people in the stands nearby. "Most of them are ex-shinobi, or people whose family are shinobi; they know of the risks and accept them. Some are obviously people from other countries, come here to watch great battles, but they are not debriefed I'm gathered from their relaxed disposition."

"You are correct," informed Shino, "and I believe that Hokage-sama is planning to move them out later on, in the panic of the invasion."

"Hmmm," mused Alice casually, leaning further over the railing, "seems like this invasion is the worst kept secret."

"Yep," agreed Shikamaru lazily. "First you know, then you inform Neji and I, and then Shino and the rest of Konoha, bar the genin in the exams, know. I'm just curious as to why the higher ups haven't told us competing in the exams, though."

"Because our performance would slip and Oto would become suspicious," remarked Alice. "It's a good plan, but one that could have easily fallen to pieces if we didn't already know of the invasion. Now you guys can direct the others into battle positions and help save lives."

At this, Shino and Shikamaru looked towards her, one with gleaming black lenses and the other with dark, curious orbs. "And what will you be doing?" Shikamaru asked.

Alice shrugged, a smile playing around the edges of her mouth. "That's the question isn't it?" Before Shikamaru or Shino could press the point, she tilted her chin towards the arena. "I'll give Sasuke five seconds to appear; he won't be disqualified so easily." She then began to countdown quietly, the two boys beside her joining her in their heads.

_Five…_

The crowd began to stir, getting irritated at the lack of the main show's appearance.

_Four…_

Gaara started to walk past the genin up on the balcony, causing Sakura and Naruto to stare at him fearfully.

_Three…_

Kankurō lugged Temari up the last flight of stairs, edging past Gaara to get to the brunette that could help them.

_Two…_

Sarutobi steepled his fingers and stare down at the arena, senses stretched to the limit. He was ready for what was to come. He was ready to fix his mistake from all those years ago. He shifted his gaze to the Kazekage sitting beside him, eyes steely. He was ready to kill Orochimaru.

_One…_

Alice smirked, body trembling with anticipation. 'Here…we…go…'

_POOF! _A swirl of leaves swept across the centre of the arena, accompanied by the sound of displaced air from a fast-moving object. Out of the mesmerising swirl of autumn colours came the Copy-nin and his student; Kakashi relaxed and unconcerned, Sasuke smirking coolly in his new attire of black.

Several girls swooned in the arena at the sight of the Uchiha, and even a few older ones did at the sight of the elusive, but mysterious, Hatake, who lived up to his tardiness by quirking a brow and speaking loud enough for everyone in the arena to hear. "I hope we're not late, are we?"

Beside him, Sasuke smirked again, flicking his thicker bangs away from his face (eliciting more fainting fits as he did so). "The main show has just arrived." He said the line calmly and cockily, creating a cool atmosphere in the arena, and relieving the tense and heated one of just moments before.

The moment was ruined, though, when someone shouted out across the arena to the boy. "HAH! GAAAAAY!"

Instantly, everyone swivelled their attention to the brunette leaning over the railing in the competitor's balcony, the same one from the second match. She was smirking down at Sasuke, wiggling her eyebrows in amusement. "You just can't walk into the arena like a normal person, can you, snowflake?"

(Several females choked at the casual way she addressed the Uchiha and a few more woke up from their fangirl-induced faint to glare at the new girl.)

Sasuke turned his nose up in return, but the smirk still stayed on his face, much to people's bemusement. "So you won your match, Yari koi? Good. I don't waste my time around losers."

Before Alice could reply with something witty, Naruto leapt forwards to stand beside her, expression bright as he stared down at his teammate, "Hey, teme! Me and Sakura-chan made it through as well, so you better watch out, dattebayo!"

Sasuke nodded towards the bashful form of Sakura that stood beside Naruto, some sort of emotion in his eyes. "Good." He then turned back to Naruto. "Remember, dobe; I want to fight you. So stay put while I beat this guy, then we'll verse."

Naruto brightened up even more at this, if that was possible, grinning down at Sasuke. "Right!"

Nodding once more towards his teammates and roommate up on the balcony, Sasuke turned his attention towards his opponent that had managed to get into the arena and face Sasuke in the time he had taken to talk to them. Both regarded each other with stoic expressions, and Sasuke didn't even bat an eyelid when Kakashi wished him good luck and disappeared up to the stands beside Gai in a shushin.

The atmosphere had gotten tense again, and the whole crowd leaned forwards in anticipation of the match. They went wild, though, when Hayate announced the match to have begun and Sasuke sprang into action.

Back up in the competitor's balcony, Alice regarded the match with bored eyes, having seen the damn thing a hundred times before, just like the match between Gaara and Lee; both had been her brother's favourites and he had made her watch them every time she got the box sets they had out.

She had managed to talk Sakura into healing Temari's arm and face, and the two Suna-nin were huddled in the corner, watching the match with wary and weary eyes; obviously they were ready for the invasion, but did not wish for it to happen. Not when their lives lay in the hands of Alice.

Absently, said brunette peeked over to the blond beside her, carefully analysing the mixture of emotions in his eyes. Unlike in the series, Naruto didn't go rushing off with Shikamaru to make Kakashi stop the match, and she knew exactly why. Instead of Naruto and Shikamaru catching Gaara trying to kill Lee, it had been just herself. While at the hospital, she had managed to deflect Naruto from seeing Lee earlier on by telling him that he was still sleeping, and informing him that, even though it had happened a week ago, he should rest up over the Gamabunta thing. After that, she had gone to sit beside Lee's bed, waiting for Gaara to come.

It had been a tense wait, but it had come to fruition when Gaara came stalking into the room, sand already dribbling out of his gourd. He had stopped short at seeing the brunette calmly sitting in the chair on the other side of the bed that held the boy he wanted to kill, looking like she had been waiting for him. When Alice had stood up and walked around the bed to face Gaara, she was met with cold eyes and crossed arms.

They had exchanged words, all of them cold and calculating, never warming up to each other. When Gaara had spoken of him being a monster, Alice had shook her head and disagreed, explaining that what was sealed inside of him was the monster, and that he could choose to differ himself from it and his past actions if he chose to.

At this, Gaara had gotten angry and had moved to attack Alice, but found his way blocked by an unnaturally solemn Gai, who had told him to leave.

'And that was the end of that,' Alice thought with no humour as she turned back to the fight below. Sasuke was now powering up his Chidori, so Alice began to power up her own chakra in return. 'Let the games…begin.'

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**Okay, so that was totally filler, but there was zero interest in this part of the story. I could've began to Invasion arc, but I would prefer to start a fresh chapter to do so, one full of action and deceit and plans and angst. Yah! I'm pumped to write that, but I just needed to get this boring junk out of the way.**

**Anyways, thanks for everyone who's reviewed the story so far, and I'm very sorry for the long wait and the shitty chapter. I'll make it up to you next time! I just now have to fix up the Red Gloved Hands fandom because they're all getting pissy at me since I've killed Lucy for over a week, maybe even two, now. **

**Yeah, oops.**


	28. Interlude: Christmas Special!

Interlude: Christmas Special

A.k.a. The-chapter-that-hopefully-compensates-for-my-lack-of-writing-due-to-school-and-that-I-_somehow_-got-two-jobs.

But Christmas Special sounds a lot nicer.

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**Okay, yes, I haven't updated in a **_**long **_**while, and I'm sorry for it. But don't think that it means that I'm not going to finish this story – 'cause I will and I'll take great pleasure in harassing you guys with Alice's antics for a while still. I just somehow managed to get two jobs and I have to juggle them, attempt to finish another year at school, and get over a large case of writer's block for my other story **_**Red Gloved Hands. **_**So far, I've only managed to fix up some sort of schedule at both work places, and finished another wonderful year at school. The creative juices haven't been flowing so much recently, though.**

**But, anyway, you're not here to listen to me bitch and whine about my lack of free time and imagination. You're here to read some random, wacky omake that I made up in apology for my lack of writing.**

**Well, here you are.**

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**Disclaimer: **_Own this story a lot less than I owe you guys an apology. I also don't own anything mentioned here, even if I do want to._

**Warning: **_Stupidity, fuck-loads of language, general family-ish feels and AliSasu if you turn your head and squint. Actually, no. I have put a fuck-load of it in. Enjoy the romance. :p_

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**3****rd**** Person P.O.V.**

"Jingle bells, Sasuke smells, he may have laid an egg. His do looks like a chickens' butt, even on Christmas Day, HEY!"

"Would you just shut up already?" Sasuke snapped at his companion, who was dancing around him and drawing many passer-by's stares with her song. "You've been singing that stupid song for the past ten minutes and I'm about to rip out your larynx if you don't stop; it doesn't even rhyme or fit the rhythm for Kami's sake."

Alice stopped her dancing to glare at him. The Uchiha also stopped in the middle of one of Konoha's busiest streets to glare right back; there was no way he was going to lose a staring contest – especially not with the likes of Alice, even though her brilliant emerald eyes became rather wide and gleaming whenever she stared back at him. But that wasn't the point here. The point was that Sasuke was sick and tired of all the stares he was attracting from the general populace of Konoha; and not the reverent, sneaky looks that people used to give him because, hello, he was the last Uchiha!

Nope. No more reverent stares for one Uchiha Sasuke.

Instead, he got peculiar looks because he seemed to almost always be with that foreigner chick who _always _was up to something odd, even when she walked the streets. Whether it be walking on her hands, jogging backwards, talking in an accent that was even foreign to her own usual one, or generally singing and dancing and _annoying the fuck out of Sasuke_, Alice was always having a go at it. She just couldn't walk down the street to get some supplies like a normal person, could she?

Sasuke was drawn out of his thoughts when a puff of air was blown into his eyes, making him blink rapidly to moisten the dry eyeballs.

"Ha!" Alice crowed triumphantly. "Made ya blink!"

Scowling in response, Sasuke quickly flicked her in the nose. The scowl was replaced with a smirk as Alice let out a howl and grabbed the perky feature – she always seemed to hate it whenever Sasuke flicked her in the nose. As a matter-of-fact, he had seen Kakashi do it, as well as her other insane sensei, so maybe it was a collective effort there?

"You know what?" Alice asked rhetorically as she lowered her hands from her face and crinkled her nose experimentally to check the damage. "I don't have to take this hate; I'm leaving."

"Whatever," Sasuke replied back dourly. He didn't even react as Alice turned heel and flounced off, wearing her casual attire of that strange shirt she loved – _"It's _Adventure Time_, Sasuke, for fuck's sake! Grab your friends – oh wait, you have none!"_ – and a pair own black shorts that he was fairly certain was one of his own, if judging by its' short length and ridiculous degree of tightness on her. She wore her green shoes on her feet and a simple, black scarf around her neck – again. His – as if that would fight off the chill of winter, even though Konoha had rather mild winters compared to other countries.

He got a one-fingered salute for his answer, and a scathing call of 'bite me' that had Konoha civilians chittering and clucking amongst themselves like the stupid biddies they were.

Screw her, and screw them. He would go and get his supplies like a normal person, then train for a couple of hours in his usual training field. _He _wouldn't wait for anything, let alone some stupid holiday that Sasuke hadn't celebrated since the deed that _he _had committed.

* * *

Grumbling to herself about 'Uchiha's and their dicks up their ass,' Alice made her way through the flood of people spilling through Konoha's streets and into every shop. The entire populace seemed to have caught Christmas Fever, and the more Alice walked, the more she seemed to forget about Sasuke and the more she got back into the swing of Christmas Spirit.

"_Christmas, Christmas time is here~. Time for joy and time for cheer." _Alice sang to herself in her home language as she browsed through several merchant's wares, ignoring their beckons and offers with the ease of a seasoned shopper.

Picking up a rather pretty necklace with a metal origami crane swinging from it, Alice deliberated whether or not to buy it before she decided that, no, she did not need any jewellery as she was a _ninja_, and that her own ying and yang necklace could never be replaced, thank you very much.

Placing it back down and ignoring the gibbering of the man who must run the jewellery stall as he tried to sell the necklace to her, Alice wandered off to a quieter part of the Market district, hoping to find some last-minute presents for her friends.

She already had presents for both of her mentors, her sort-of-mentor Jiraiya, Naruto, Sakura, Akemi-chan and Hokage-oyaji, but she had no idea what to get for Sasuke. The damn bastard didn't seem to have enough of a soul to get into the swing of holidays, let alone feel anything about something as stupid as an 'industrial-strength, one-of-a-kind carpet carted straight from Iwa' that some salesman was trying to sell from his rickety cart almost completely indistinguishable underneath the multiple, heavy carpets draped over it.

Gods, Christmas shopping was hard. No wonder why her mum had always complained about it back home.

Alice sighed at this. Her first Christmas away from her family was not panning out to be as she imagined it.

She had imagined that she'd be spending her first Christmas that wasn't beside her mum, dad or brother would be spent beside new friends and University mates in some rundown, cheap apartment that one of them was renting, chatting about how ridiculous it was that the professors were still expecting papers in, even though it was the holidays.

She certainly hadn't expected to be stuck in a whole other world, no way to contact her family, spending it with friends that could kill her if they wanted to, and trudging through streets that teemed with people who gave her suspicious looks whenever they weren't caught up in the frenzy of finding 'the perfect gift for my little darling.' Oh, and that she had a Death God stuck in her as well. Mustn't forget that.

At that depressing thought, Alice was barrelled into by what could only be described as a pack of energy tied together by grabbing hands and flailing feet.

"NEE-CHAN!"

"Gah!" Alice said in reply as she toppled onto her back, helpless to do anything under the terrifying onslaught that was little kids hyped up on candy and Christmas. "What the fu-!"

Only just putting together _what the fuck _had just happened, Alice managed to gulp down the rest of her swear, lest that any of the little tykes' parents were around. Yeah, not a very great second impression there, especially since she thought she had made a rather good impression on several of the kids' parents when they came to pick them up after another game of Ninja.

"Hey there, my little ninjas," Alice managed to grunt out underneath the pile of kids on top of her. "How are you guys today?"

Instantly, there was a kafuffle of motion and sound as each kid – twelve in all – tried to make their recount of the day so far heard over the kid beside him or her. Then came the pushing and shoving as they bickered over who would tell 'nee-chan' first about their day and how many presents they got.

After a minute of this, Alice grew tired of their high-pitched, whiny yells. Powering chakra throughout her body, she let out a tremendous roar – managing to capture majority of the people's attention in the vicinity due to the noise (and pulse of chakra for the shinobi) – and staggered upright.

The children squealed with happiness and clung onto Alice wherever they could – although some had to cling to another's back, or leg, or arm – as they were lifted up into the air by the tall girl. Bickers were forget as Alice swung around gently to elicit a round of giggles and delighted screams from the children. She then took off at a fast pace – legs awkwardly shuffling and arms jerking from the children's body mass attached to her like limps – towards a nearby park so that she could properly talk to some of her favourite people in Konoha.

Upon arriving to the large piece of grassy land that was only broken up by a few trees and a rather wonky swing set, slide and monkey bars, Alice gently shook the kids off her legs, arms and front. She then plucked three children off her back and another from her neck. The last one was retrieved from his rather precarious position atop of her head, his little arms clutching at Alice's long ponytail and her right ear.

"Kaigo-kun," Alice said as she held the small blond in her arms, "what did I say about tugging on my hair?"

Kaigo grinned back, the gap in his teeth from a missing tooth extremely prominent. "That I shouldn't?"

"Good boy." Placing Kaigo down beside his fellow friends, Alice squatted down so that she could speak at their level. "How's my favourite kids going on this fine day?"

There was a chorus of greats and goods, and not a single face that wasn't happy in the small crowd that stood to attention in front of their beloved nee-chan.

"That's very good." Alice smiled happily at them as she sat down cross-legged. "It's Christmas Day, so it really should be good for everyone, right?"

As some of the kids made conversation with Alice, others plopped down beside Alice to lean into her. Several managed to wiggle their way under her arms, and an incredibly quick and lucky girl managed to secure a seat in Alice's lap, looking very proud as she grinned at her friends. A bunch of girls led by a little brunette went chasing across the expanse of grass to collect flowers, intent on collecting the prettiest ones in the whole area.

That was how Alice spent the next hour; entertaining the kids of people who didn't even trust her, weaving stories of the already legendary (in children's standards, at least) Team Seven and their sensei, the famous Copy-nin, Hatake Kakashi. She also told them of the Sandaime Hokage and his incredible mind, but also of his incredible heart. After some insistence, she told them about her old family – because she was apparently an orphan here to everyone but Team Seven and the Hokage.

Her mother was a hard-working women who was as stubborn as she was, and saved lives daily in a place not unlike Konoha's own hospital. She was pretty in an aged way, with striking dark brown eyes and skin darkened by the sun.

The man of the house was tall as a tree and just as strong, it seemed. His pale green eyes were always crinkled in a grin and his hugs were warming than any fire. His laugh was loud, but his words quiet and passionate; a true and honourable man.

And her brother. Well…

"I love my brother more than anyone in the world," Alice told the children who were listening raptly with a small, content smile on her face. "Although we may have fought here and there, we both knew that, in any situation, we'd be backing each other up with everything we had. He was always much more talented than I was – better looks, better social skills, better at sports and even academics – but I was never jealous or envious of him. How could I be? We shared the same blood, after all."

A boy named Ringo stood up at this point, looking as angry as a barely three-foot boy could. "No one's better than nee-chan! There's no way that your brother could be prettier than you!"

There came a general yell of agreement from the other children at that, small pouts fixated on their faces as they stared determinedly at Alice; almost as if daring her not to agree.

So she didn't.

"Alright, little ones," Alice said softly as she stood up, making sure to take the girl out of her lap and not let the kids leaning against her fall over. "I think that's enough chatter. Your parents are probably wondering where you are by now, and I, unfortunately, have some errands to run; I need to give my own gifts, yeah?"

"_AWWWW!" _the kids wailed. _"Don't go yet, nee-chan!"_

"Not before gifts, no," Alice agreed as she reached into the beat-up, brown side-bag that she had brought from her old world. "Who would like a little treat before they go?"

The kids all yelled happily at that and began crowding around her with their hands held up pleadingly. _"ME! ME! ME!"_

Alice chuckled at their enthusiasm before carefully handing out a long-lasting, super-strength gobstopper to each kid, along with gingerbread shaped as shuriken and kunai. "I made the gingerbread myself, gakis."

There was no reply as the kids chowed down on gingerbread. Well, beside the rather confident brunette who had led the other girls on a quest for flowers earlier on.

Before she could lose her nerve, the girl stomped up in front of Alice and thrust her hands up towards her, looking rather determined.

Taken aback by the sudden gesture, Alice took a moment before she closed her hands around whatever the girl was offering her.

A carefully made daisy chain was in her hands. But rather than simple daisies, there was a whole abundance of different flower species, all of them bright and beautiful in colour. Some, Alice recognised from her teachings with Anko, could be combined together with other substances to create rather toxic poisons.

Touched by the simple gesture, as no one had ever made a daisy chain for her, Alice smiled at the little girl before placing it on her head where it sat proudly. "Thank you very much, little one. I also have something for you."

At the eager look in the girl's eyes, Alice laughed. "But first, I think I should get that odd something poking out from behind your ear."

Before the girl could question that random statement, Alice reached forwards to pluck something from behind the girl's ear; a candy cane. It was a simple slight-of-hand trick, but the girl seemed delighted by the gesture as she took the sweet.

"Merry Christmas," Alice said with a wink before a call came from the distance. "And I think that's my cue to leave; your parents are here." She addressed the last par towards all of the kids, and grinned at their collective groan of disappointment.

Then came the several minute long goodbye as kids hugged Alice, wished her a Merry Christmas, before darting off to meet up with their parents.

Just as Alice waved goodbye to Ringo – an extraordinaire at hiding – a small hand tugged at her arm, causing her to bend down to hear what the little flower-giver from before had to say.

"_I think Sasuke-nii would like with your hair down; you're really pretty, nee-chan, and I think he sees that as well." _

Alice could only wave dazedly as the girl skipped away, but, almost unconsciously, her other hand was tugging at her usual side-ponytail.

* * *

Opening his door for the first time today – if he didn't have to do any missions, meet with his brats, the Hokage, or anyone else for that matter, he was staying home with his beloved books – Kakashi was startled to find a rather messily wrapped and lumpy gift waiting for him on his doorstep. Only a select few knew where he lived, and none of his fellow jōnins or his old squad members from his time at ANBU had ever given him presents – well, Gai _said _that getting up early to do another one of his stupid challenges was a gift, but many, including Kakashi, begged to differ.

After several minutes of extensive examination to check if this really was a present and not a trap, Kakashi carefully picked up the purple package and took it back inside to place it on the small table by his kitchen.

He stared at it for a few moments before deciding – _what the heck_ – to open it.

A bundle of bones tied with some black ribbon came tumbling out, along with a note attached to it. A small stack of papers kept together with some paperclips lay innocently in the torn paper.

Now seriously confused, Kakashi hesitantly picked up the note, only to sigh when he recognised the writing.

_Hey there, Cyclops!_

_I knew you wouldn't answer the door if I knocked, so I just left your present at the doorstep – well, yours and your packs'. There should be a bone for each of them, if not…well, shit, I don't really have any more money after buying presents for everyone. Just give them a hug and a kiss from me, okay? I bet you don't even hug and kiss your dogs, but you can do this for me as my Christmas present._

_Oh, yeah. MERRY CHRISTMAS! Sorry for not saying it earlier, but I can say it in person if you come over to Sasuke-chan's and my house at six for a Christmas dinner. If you don't come, I'll fucking hunt you down with Anko-nee and drag you there._

_So, Merry Christmas and you can thank me for your present at six. It took a lot of begging and I'm pretty sure my self-esteem hasn't recovered at all, but I'd be happy to do it again for you._

_Lots of love, Alice. XX_

_P.S. Dress well, you oaf. _

_P.P.S. Be on time. __**Or else.**_

Exchanging the note for the stack of papers, Kakashi idly flipped the page, not expecting much. But what he found in the scrawls of hand-written writing was pure gold.

'Jiraiya's…notes on Icha Icha? Each and every thought and observation…how…?'

Suddenly, Kakashi found a small fraction more respect for his part-time student.

* * *

As Anko wandered out of the Interrogation and Torture building after a long day at work (two spies who Genma had managed to snap up on his last mission and a suspected enemy-nin), her senses suddenly picked up on a projectile coming her way.

Jumping back into the cover of her work's entrance, Anko managed to avoid two kunai that embedded themselves into the wall that she had just been.

"What the fuck?" Anko muttered as she saw two packages wrapped in purple hanging by black ribbon from both kunai, the ribbon stretched taunt by the weight of the packages. "Who the fuck did this?"

Noticing a small note tied to the package closest to her, Anko marched up to it and ripped it off, intent on finding out who was fucking with her this time around.

She was greeted with familiar calligraphy that she had helped to hone to a beautiful degree.

_SURPRISE!_

_Ha ha, hey there, nee-chan. Did you like your surprise? I'm so sure that you did, but as I am probably running away right now so that you don't come after me, I can't verify that._

_Anyways, MERRY CHRISTMAS!_

_I hope you love your present (it's the one that this note is attached to), and that Akemi-chan likes hers (the other one) too. What would be extremely wonderful, though, is if you could come to my place, not for kidnapping for once, but for a dinner at six. Although, it would be rather helpful if you come a bit earlier just in case Kakashi doesn't show up on time. If he doesn't, you and me get to go a huntin'!_

_Hope to see you there! Dress sexily (not that you don't already)!_

_Love forever, Alice. XX_

Smirking at her student's balls, Anko shoved the note into her pocket before taking down the two packages.

Ripping open her own present right then – Anko wasn't known for her patience – Anko was surprisingly delighted at the multiple boxes of rare dango flavours that were stacked together in a large box, along with some new senbon that she had been wanting recently. She didn't know that anyone really listened to her.

Upon packing her box back up and tucking it under her arm (as well as putting away the kunai because, hey, free stuff), Anko picked up Akemi's box and shook it softly.

Startled squeaks muffled by the box came from its interior and Anko smiled.

* * *

Leaning his head back against the tree he was sitting under, Jiraiya gazed up into the canopy above, completely enraptured by the way that the sun gleamed off the bright green leaves and the bright purple wrapping paper of the bo—

Wait. Box?

Scrambling to his feet, Jiraiya stared at the obvious present that was nestled in the fork of the tree just above his head. Did someone leave a present here? On Christmas Day, no less?

Deciding to take it to whoever it was addressed to, Jiraiya plucked it from its perch and tugged at the note attached to it by black ribbon.

_Hey, Jiraiya-sama! Merry Christmas!_

_I just want to thank you for all the effort you've put into both mine and Naruto's training. It's obvious that you have some sort of connection to Naruto and that you feel like you have an obligation to teach him, but I'm just some nobody-girl who came out of nowhere and demanded training from what must be one of the most powerful and wisest shinobi or men in the entire Elemental Nations. And yet, you still took me on, and I'm eternally grateful._

_The tag on your present makes it so that it doesn't reflect any light – makes it safely hidden. (It's one of my own creations!)_

_And I know that we're not exactly the closest people, but I was hoping that you would come to the Uchiha Estate at six for dinner. It's not just me, though. There'll be a bunch of other people (hopefully), and even Naruto._

_I hope to see you there._

_Love, Alice. XX_

Chuckling to himself, Jiraiya let go of the note to gently tear away the wrapping to reveal his gift; a pair of binoculars with the fūinjutsu tag plastered to it so that it didn't reflect any light. Another note was attached to it; _for perving._

* * *

Brushing at her long, pink locks while sitting at her vanity, Sakura idly wondered if she should cut all her hair off; it wasn't very ninja of her to have such long hair that could easily be used against her.

Her thoughts, though, were interrupted by an insistent tapping at her window.

Turning, extremely surprised by the sound – **who the hell could get up a two-storey building? **her Inner wondered – Sakura was met by the curious sight of a large hawk outside her window.

It was holding a purple package and was looking decidedly frantic as it strained under the weight of it, wings working furiously to keep itself and its attachment afloat.

Definitely odd.

Quickly getting up from her stool and hurrying over to fling the window open, Sakura had to backpedal almost as quickly to dodge the flurry of feathers that was the bird entering.

It touched down on her bed, looking mightily exhausted, before it relinquished hold of the parcel – **present. It's a present, **her Inner supplied. The bird then cocked its head at Sakura and let out a shrill cry, almost as if to say 'well? You gonna open it? I didn't bring it here for shits and giggles, you know?'

Oh, Sakura was definitely going mad if she could read all that from a single moment of eye contact with a freaking _bird_ – **and that you have a voice in your head**, Inner remarked idly.

After remembering to check the present carefully for any traps, Sakura discovered a note tied to the present by black ribbon.

Gently tugging the note off, Sakura began to read it with various states of amusement.

_Hey there, Sakura-chan! MERRY CHRISTMAS!_

_Did you know that it apparently snows in Konoha around this time? Of course you did, you're a genius like that! Yeah, you're awesome like that. But aside from pointing out how awesome you are, I'm here to ask if you could come over to Ice Princesses' and my house at six for dinner. You can dress nicely since it's Christmas time and that's an excuse to do absolutely anything, but I digress; come if you can. You can even invite your parents if they wish to come and meet the rest of your team – we're all going to be there (hopefully)._

_Anyways, I expect you'll like your present – because I was the one who got it, after all. Your accessories can also be used as weapons – Tenten sold me them, so they're guaranteed to work._

_Lots of love, Alice. XX_

"Awesome…" Sakura muttered to herself. Her parents had spent the whole morning with her for Christmas, so that they could go to a Christmas party later on with a whole bunch of their adult friends. She was invited, but since there wasn't going to be many other people her age there – well, there was, but they weren't responsible _ninja_ – she wasn't going to go. But now that this had shown up…well, that means that she can wear that dress she bought recently.

Sighing happily at that thought, Sakura gently opened her present.

A book on medical herbs and their properties stared up at her, and she squealed happily as she picked it up. That revealed another book underneath that, much smaller in size, all about how to utilise chakra scalpels and what they can do.

"Thank you so much Alice!" Sakura exclaimed cheerfully to herself as she stacked the books on her bedside table. "Oh, and there's something else!"

Placing her hand back into the box that the books came in, Sakura drew out a something carefully wrapped in tissue paper.

After unravelling it, two small hair-pins fell out, both with small, pink sakura blossoms hanging off of them.

"They're beautiful," Sakura murmured. She then stood up, intent on beginning to get ready for tonight; it didn't matter that it was two in the afternoon, there was never enough time to get ready, as Ino had once said to her.

Unbeknownst to her, the hawk beside her gave a proud nod of its head before dispelling in a puff of smoke.

* * *

"Merry Christmas to me…" Naruto said miserably as he lay on his bed and stared up at the ceiling. "You'd think after getting a team that we'd spend some time together at Christmas…" He rolled over and buried his face into his threadbare pillow, rather tempted to scream all of his frustrations into it.

After staying like that for a moment, Naruto had to roll back over since there was a definite lack of oxygen in such an enclosed space and, well, he kind of needed it to, you know, breathe and survive; such was life.

As Naruto was going to lament some more about his severe lack of Merry Christmases – bar one from Iruka-sensei and a combined one from Ayame and Teuchi at Ichiraku's – a knock came at his door; not the polite one of someone summoning him to see his jiji; or of the loud banging and smashing of drunkards who wanted to wake up the 'demon' to play. It was a rapid succession of three knocks followed by "Naruto…" And then it repeated again. And again.

"Naruto…"

Knock, knock, knock.

"Naruto…"

Finally getting fed up of the tempo of bangs, Naruto dragged himself up to go over and slam the door open. "WHAT?"

Alice blinked at him, her fist raised in the air to knock again. "Um…Naruto?"

Said blond didn't know whether to be annoyed, surprised or happy to see the brunette – he settled on happy and surprised, as he didn't want to offend her. "Hey, Alice-nee! What's up?"

The girl quickly recovered some of her usual cheer and grinned at him. "Christmas! And this is for you, 'Ruto!" She then offered up a little, handmade booklet, smile now hesitant. "I hope you enjoy it…"

Taking his (first ever) Christmas present with surprise evident on his face – either than a bowl of ramen from Iruka and another two from the ramen chefs, he didn't expect to get any other presents – Naruto carefully flipped open the first page of the booklet that had Alice's carefully printed calligraphy on it.

_For my little brother, because I love him dearly – Alice._

Beginning to smile at those words, Naruto eagerly flipped to the next page to find…

_Forty free hugs – whenever and wherever you'd like them. No complaints and it will be with all of my heart put into it._

The next page was very similar.

_Thirty minutes – whenever and wherever – of my time to listen about whatever you want to say, and I'd always be serious and considerate – valid for five times._

The next page was looking rather blurry; had Alice's ink began to drip?

_Twenty kisses wherever you'd like – lots of love included_

The page after that was even harder to read through Naruto's blurry vision.

_Ten training sessions towards becoming Hokage – however long you'd like them to be._

And the last one finally released all of the tears that had been building up in Naruto's eyes.

_One lifetime of being the best older sister that I ever can._

_I love you, Naruto._

"I know it's a bit tacky," Alice spoke up quietly, green eyes cast to the side in mild embarrassment, "but I wanted something heartfelt, and I am more than happy to do all of those things. It's okay if you don't want to use any of them, but I—"

"I love it!" Naruto burst out, hands clutching onto the booklet for dear life. He then glanced up at Alice's face, gaze unsure."C-can I use a hug now?"

Alice's expression softened at that. "Of course you can, otōto." She opened her arms up and enveloped the blond in a warm hug, both of their eyes closed and arms squeezing as tight as they could.

Both of them stood for a few minutes like that, not caring if their arms were dead and their legs sore from standing still for so long. And when Naruto finally regained his composure and let go of Alice, she took his hand and led him inside for a cup of hot chocolate – the powder and milk she brought herself since she knew that he wouldn't have any.

Alice then informed Naruto over their warm drinks that she'd spend the rest of the day with him to do whatever he wanted, but that later on, he'd have to dress nicely to come over for a Christmas dinner at her place. It didn't matter that Sasuke-teme was going to be there, so was Sakura-chan, and so was she. They were going to spend a Christmas together, even if it killed Alice.

And Naruto couldn't find any reason to argue against it.

* * *

There was a definite drag in Sasuke's chakra and his step as he trudged home, dirty and beat-up after a full day of training.

The wind was getting rather nippy, and he almost couldn't hold back a shiver in his usual attire of blue shirt and white shorts as a particularly cruel wind tore at his face, arms and legs; sometimes he really hated winter.

"Kami-damned snow," Sasuke grunted as he heard another civilian exclaiming about how snow was predicted to fall tonight – _"Imagine that! A white Christmas!"_

Sasuke rolled his eyes at that thought before walking the last stretch of road to his home in silence.

He was tired, cranky, and a tiny bit lonely by the time he made it through the Uchiha Estate to his own house, but the crankiness quickly took over when he saw that Alice had all of the lights on and had draped tinsel all over the exterior of the house; hadn't he told her that he wasn't going to have any of this Christmas nonsense in his house?

Stomping up his front steps and slamming the door open, Sasuke opened his mouth to yell at Alice, but quickly found himself shutting it in order to open his nostrils.

A heavenly smell was drifting through the house; the smell of baked meats, fried vegetables and sugary sweet things like cinnamon and gingerbread. Sasuke didn't really like sweet things especially not gingerbread, but he had found that, recently, he had begun to enjoy the taste and scent of all things cinnamon.

"Sasuke!"

The familiar shout of his name had Sasuke rousing himself from his thoughts and focusing on the present. The present of which was a rather food-covered and happy-looking Alice that stood in front of him; was it just him or had the scent of cinnamon only gotten stronger?

"Man, I'd thought you'd never be home!" Alice chirped as she latched onto Sasuke with floury hands and dragged him further inside his own house. "There's only twenty minutes until show time and you're still covered in grass and mud! Oh, and the turkey's still not quite done! I never knew that Christmas dinner would be so hard to organise, since mum always made it look so easy, but still!"

Before Alice's mouth could run away anymore, Sasuke quickly dug his heels and pulled them both to a stop. "What the hell do you mean, 'Christmas dinner'? I said that I didn't want anything Christmassy in my house, and I meant it, Alice!"

"You hard-ass, party-pooper," Alice scoffed as she let go of Sasuke's arm to put her hands on her hips and glare at him. "You're the fucking Scrooge of Konoha, but I'm not taking it! You're going to go upstairs, shower, get changed into something nice, and then you're going to come downstairs to spend Christmas with our friends!"

Completely taken aback by this sudden event, Sasuke could only gape at Alice for a moment before he managed to regain some of his usual composure. "What the hell, Alice? There's no way that I'm having a bunch of people in my house, eating my food, and—!"

"Oh, shut up and go upstairs, you little princess," Alice spat out as she gave Sasuke a shove towards the stairs to the upstairs corridor. "I don't need your bitching and whining; I've spent all afternoon cooking and cleaning the food that **I **bought!" Alice cut across whatever Sasuke was going to say next, using her extra height to tower over him. "Don't you even dare start to argue, mister! Upstairs. _**NOW!"**_

Wisely, Sasuke quickly walked upstairs. No, he didn't flee like a scared little girl – he was a shinobi and an _Uchiha, _they didn't do _fleeing_. And no matter what version of the encounter Alice told, Sasuke would always stand firmly by his version.

Watching Sasuke bolt to his room like a scared, little girl, Alice shook her head ruefully before turning to go to her 'bedroom,' which was, in fact, the living room.

Before she could do that, though, another Alice, complete with a chef's hat and chocolate smeared on her face, poked its head out of the kitchen and whistled lowly to get the original's attention. "Yo, Mistress, the turkey's done now, and we're about to start plating everything up; number three and six have gone to get the cutlery and candles. You can go get changed."

Giving her kage bunshin a quick nod and a brisk salute to dismiss her, Alice turned to go change in the living room and get some of the food off of her. "Man, I love kage bunshin."

* * *

Upon opening the door the first time that night to reveal one Mitarashi Anko clad in boots, a leather mini-skirt, mesh-shirt with a midriff tank top underneath, Alice felt the first inkling of hope that this thing was actually going to go down well and _hard. _Especially when Anko pulled out two bottles of sake from Kami-knows-where and gave a suggestive wink. "I've brought the booze and the party; you got the food?"

Alice grinned. "You better believe it!"

A quick show around the house and where the food was and Alice was settling down at the long, traditional dining table that hadn't been used in yonks, and yet, was now decked out in food, candles, cutlery, and the whole works, alongside a grinning Anko, to share the first cup of sake together.

It was only after a few minutes of regaling stories of botched-up katas and hilarious instances of explosive tags that another knock came at the front door.

When Alice opened it this time, she was met with the bashful smile of a rather dolled-up Haruno Sakura.

"Sakura-chan, you look gorgeous," Alice said truthfully as she took in the red kimono with sakura blossoms and her bun kept up by the pins she got her. "Love the pins, by the way."

"I knew you would," Sakura replied back quickly, her own eyes appraising Alice's attire. "Where'd you get the dress from?"

Alice shrugged. "Tenten gave it to me to borrow; only dress she has. Pretty happy with the cut, though; easy to move in."

Continuing to take in the straps and knee-length, dark purple dress with slits up the side to reveal Alice's long, tanned legs, Sakura could only nod in agreement. "I can see that."

"Ah!" Alice suddenly exclaimed, startling Sakura. "Where are my manners?" She bowed deeply to Sakura, causing her long, loose hair to flop everywhere and the flower crown on her head threaten to fall off, before stepping to the side to brandish an arm towards the corridor behind her. "It's a pleasure for you to come into my house; the dining room is to the second left; Anko-nee's already here."

As Sakura politely thanked her and moved inwards, there came a shout of her name that had her turning to see an excited Naruto racing towards her.

He was waving an arm in the air, causing his casual, black, buttoned-up t-shirt to ripple, and his black dress pants fluttered in the strong wind outside. "Saaaakura-chan! Aliiiice-neee!"

"Hey, Naruto-chan!" Alice answered easily as the boy came to a skidding stop outside the door. "I was hoping that you'd find your way here without getting lost."

Naruto gave a thumbs up in response, looking rather proud. "I just followed your instructions! I nearly ran past the entrance into Sasuke-teme's district-thingmium, but I managed to find it!"

"Good job, Naruto," Sakura said warmly, pat his hair and smiling when she found his still mildly damp from a shower. "Alice has gotten everything set up, but she's expecting some more people, so why don't we head on in?"

The blond let out a cheer and raced on ahead, barely hearing Sakura's directions to the dining room as she ambled in behind him.

"NO EATING THE FOOD YET, ANKO-NEE, NARUTO!" Alice roared into the house as she heard an exclamation about how good her cooking looked. "DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE!"

Ignoring the duel moan of disappointment back inside the house, Alice turned to look back outside, sensing an approaching signature. A very surprising one at that.

"Kakashi-sensei," Alice raised an eyebrow at the tall man decked out in a casual, grey button-up and long pants, "I am distinctly surprised to see you here on time. What's the occasion?"

The man chuckled and ruffled his gravity-defying hair. "Well, I heard that two she-devils were going to damn my soul to Hell if I didn't come on time, so I decided not to risk the last remains of my soul and come."

"Two she-devils, huh?" Alice asked in amusement. "Don't let Anko-nee hear you say that," she warned him as she stepped aside to let him through. "She's in a good mood tonight and I don't want you ruining it; Sasuke'll make me pay for any damages tonight."

"Maa, maa," Kakashi drawled as he walked past and raised a lazy hand, "you talk like you don't trust me."

"I don't!" Alice called back to him as he wandered into the dining room.

Almost instantly, there was a call of 'FUCKING SCARECROW!' from Anko, and a small kafuffle as (most likely) Anko tried to attack him and was (hopefully) held back by Naruto and Sakura.

"Idiots," Alice muttered, shaking her head. "Idiots, the lot of them."

"So you're not included in that group?"

Biting back a startled yelp, Alice spun back around to look outside, shocked to see Jiraiya standing there, smirking at her. "What the actual fuck, Jiraiya-sama? You didn't need to scare me like that; I'm too young to die of a heart attack!"

"And too sexy," Jiraiya added with a lecherous grin. "And I thought that you were a chakra-sensing expert, hm?"

"Aw, shut up," Alice said good-naturally before allowing Jiraiya in. "C'mon, you perve, I'll show you to the dining room."

Kicking the door shut behind her with her bare feet, Alice padded through the corridor in front of Jiraiya to guide him to the dining room. She stepped aside to let him in first and grinned at the sound of Naruto's excited yell, Sakura's shocked one, Kakashi's drawling acknowledgement, and Anko's yell of 'look! It's the toad-fucker!'

Shaking her head in loving exasperation, Alice was about to follow Jiraiya in when she sensed a chakra signature on the stairs above her.

Glancing up, she made eye-contact with a rather surly-looking Sasuke in dress pants and a buttoned shirt in dark blue, almost bordering black.

"What's with all the guys and the buttoned shirts?" Alice asked as she took in Sasuke rolled up sleeves. "Well, at least yours is slightly different to Naruto's own short-sleeved, but you're wearing them exactly like Kakashi-sensei."

Sasuke cursed softly in response and began to attempt to pull the sleeves of his shirt down. A hand stopped him and he froze as Alice stepped up on the steps – and, incidentally, closer to him – and began to roll the sleeves back up. "Keep them rolled up; they look good like that."

The girl hummed a Christmas carol – Jingle Bells? Last Christmas? Sasuke didn't know; when was the last time he did anything _remotely _Christmassy? –as she pushed the last of the right sleeve up and stepped back to look at the image of Sasuke dressed-up nicely. "Not bad. Not bad at all."

"Thanks," Sasuke said dryly, even though he was slightly panicking at the heavy scent of cinnamon in the air.

"All in a day's work for the fabulous Alice," the brunette replied back easily as she smiled at him. The smile turned slightly nervous all of a sudden and Alice began to fiddle with her fingers. "Um…well, I didn't know what to get you for Christmas, so—"

"You didn't have to get me anything," Sasuke said crisply, not minding Alice's irritated expression at his actions of cutting her off. "Yo—"

"Yeah, well," Alice snapped across him, her hair almost bristling and her hands clenched tightly into fists at her sides. "I didn't get you anything, okay?" She then abruptly sighed and relaxed her angry stance. "Sorry. I didn't have a single clue what to get you as they either seemed sappy or completely worthless, and I ain't being known as sappy and worthless."

Sasuke snorted. "Too late."

"Fuck you, chicken-ass. I'm trying to be nice here and you're shutting me down every time. It's Christmas time, so why don't you take that pole out of your ass for once and _enjoy yourself._"

"…No."

"My previous statement still stands; fuck you." Alice then crinkled her nose up in disgust. "Actually, who'd want to fuck you?"

"Maybe my legion of fangirls," Sasuke said dourly, trying his best to hold back a shiver at the thought of his fangirls finally capturing him and…_doing things to him._

"Touché," Alice conceded, breaking Sasuke from his thoughts. "But still, my problem stands; I didn't get you anything for Christmas and I feel shit about it."

Sasuke gave a half-hearted attempt at a shrug. "I didn't get you anything, so quit bitching about it."

Although she was tempted to reply with something snappy and rude, Alice managed to bite down her retort and give Sasuke a rather pained smile. "Good. That means that this will count as both of our gifts to each other."

And before Sasuke could question such a strange sentence, Alice was pulling a sprig of mistletoe from Kami-knows-where and was dangling it over their heads.

And before Sasuke could even think of reacting, let alone _escaping_, Alice was kissing him. **AGAIN!**

The fact that she was on the step below him meant that she was exactly his height, and had crashed her warm mouth directly onto his own surprised one. And since he was so surprised, Sasuke put up no fight at the contact, merely staring at Alice's closed eyes with his own wide, onyx ones.

The kiss seemed to last forever, with the warmth from Alice's lips tingling through Sasuke's body like he had just gulped down a hot beverage, and there was a taste of cinnamon now in his mouth – and it tasted _good._

But before Sasuke could begin to properly enjoy the kiss, Alice was pulling away and wiping at her mouth with the back of a hand, her eyes bright and glossy. "I hope you enjoyed that, Sasu-chan, 'cause there is no way I'm giving you that for Christmas again."

And before Sasuke could _finally _speak up or about that kiss, she was whirling around in flicker of purple fabric and the scent of cinnamon to go and entertain her guests.

Alice paused halfway into the living room to look back at a stunned Sasuke still standing where he was before, a mischievous smile on her face. "C'mon, Ice princess, you're gonna miss the party!"

Over the accompanying shouts of agreement from the guests in his house, all Sasuke could think was, 'Hasn't the party already been and gone?'

* * *

Later on that night, after several hours of introducing those that hadn't met properly before, eating a fuck-load of food, entertaining stories, two near incidents with a katon jutsu, and an exploding mince pie, the entirety of the Christmas get-together decided to call it quits and go home.

However, once they got outside, they had a very beautiful surprise waiting for them.

"Snow!" gasped Sakura, raising her hands up as she stared into the flurry of white coming down from above. "It's snowing!"

"FUCK YEAH!" yelled out Alice in reply as she darted inside to grab a scarf to wrap around her neck She emerged quickly before she went barrelling out to dive face-first into a large pile of snow in the front yard.

She ploughed through the pile and managed to get herself stuck up to her knees in snow, much to the amusement of some. But after wiggling around a bit and a helpful shove from Anko, she managed to pop her head up through the top and grin at everyone with a red face. "This is awesome! I've never had snow at Christmas before!"

"Then you must've missed out on this, gaki," spoke up Anko's wicked voice.

Alice managed to shuffle her head around to look at Anko before a snowball smashed into her face and obscured her vision.

It took her several minutes of digging and listening to Anko's bellowing laughter before Alice could get her hands free enough to wipe the snow from her eyes and make a snowball in retaliation.

Needless to say, her first attempt at a snow missile was pitiful at best.

"Now that's just sad," Kakashi commented as the crumbly ball of snow flopped from Alice's hands.

"SHUT UP, KAKASHI-SENSEI!" Alice yelled back in reply as she scrambled out of her own personal snowdrift. "I'd like to see you do better!"

This time, Kakashi's reply was a flurry of snowballs that knocked Alice off her feet ad back into the snowdrift.

When she emerged, it was with a vengeance.

Alice created ten kage bunshin and had them collect snow as she went chasing after a slightly amused Kakashi. Behind her, Jiraiya boasted that he would 'protect a maiden's honour and help her out!'

A snowball to the face courtesy of a laughing Naruto had him shutting up and creating snowballs as fast as he could in retaliation.

"There's no way I'm missing out on this!" declared Anko before she armed herself and went crashing into the fray. "C'mon, Sugarfluff"

Responding to the ridiculous nickname that Anko gave her, due to her cotton candy-like hair, Sakura gave a war cry that was echoed by her Inner, before forcibly jumping into the snowball fight and, incidentally, onto Kakashi's back.

Wishing to have no part in this, and only wanting to make sure no one broke anything of his, Sasuke stood back to lean against the side of his house, an amused smirk twitching up the corners of his mouth.

He would've stayed there for the entirety of the fight, too, if it weren't for Alice to come slamming into him as she ran away from Naruto.

"I need your help!" Alice whisper-yelled to Sasuke's face, seemingly unconcerned that she was practically lying on top of the Uchiha who was on his back. Her eyes were bright with excitement and her cheeks red from the cold. All in all, how could Sasuke refuse that? Especially since it meant that he had an excuse to hit Naruto and his sensei.

"Alright," Sasuke said as Alice stood up and offered him and arm to help him up. "But you owe me one."

"I ain't kissing you again, Sasuke, if that's what you meant."

* * *

**There's a slight chance that I'm crying here – this was awful! I had so many better plans for it, but this was how it turned out! Fuck my life!**

**I really want to go over it and erase the whole thing, but that nearly happened before with my computer restarting all of a sudden and I totally realised that I hadn't saved this story at all – I had written 7K, can you imagine how devastating that would be to lose 7K? But I also have to do a **_**FtVttH **_**Christmas special; I'm actually pumped to write that since it won't be as touchy-feely and will be more about Fairy Tail stupidity at Christmas, along with some family feels.**

**Huzzah!**

**So, sorry for the lateness, lack of activity, not a real chapter, and that it was shitty, yada, yada, yada!**

**(P.S. To 123 (if you're reading this): my PM states that it has a message from you, but it won't register! Can you please send it again! I'd like to finish our convo!)**


	29. Act 6 Part 1: Bunshin Bunshin EXPLOSION!

**Long wait, yadda, yadda, yadda. I'm sorry, blah, blah, blah.**

**Let's get on with the story!**

* * *

**Disclaimer: **_Me owning Naruto is as unlikely as me sprouting wings and flying. I'd love to, but I'm unable to. I also don't own any other fandoms mentioned in here._

**Warning: **_VIOLENCE! DEATH! DECIET! ALICE PLAYING AROUND WITH THINGS THAT SHE SHOULDN'T! LANGUAGE! MOCKERY OF THE INVASION! ARRRGGGHHH!_

* * *

**3****rd**** Person P.O.V – Original Alice.**

As Sasuke stabbed his hand into Gaara's giant-ass shield of sand, Alice was calmly pulling out a jar of soldier pills from one of her numerous pockets of her trenchcoat.

Unscrewing the lid, Alice offered a pill to Shikamaru and Shino, eyes never leaving Sasuke's shocked form as he stared at what could only be the demonic eye of Gaara. "Eat up, guys, we've got a big day ahead of us."

"Agreed," Shino said formally, taking one of the soldier pills and slipping it into his mouth. "I thank you for the assistance, Alice."

"It's no problem," Alice replied easily as Shikamaru took one for himself. "You can pay me back in kind by sticking with Shikamaru and taking out any enemies in the forest south of here. I'll bet that there's a lot of people skulking through there, and your talents in trapping will definitely be of use."

The brunette smiled at the two boys beside her as she popped a bitter pill in her mouth and chewed slowly. "Let's get ready to rumble, ne?"

Almost as if on cue, there was a flurry of activity down in the arena from Sasuke dodging Gaara's attacks. But it was covered by the large fall of what looked like white feathers falling from the sky.

Shikamaru, Shino and Alice calmly brushed off the genjutsu, and waited patiently as everyone else in the box did so. Bar Naruto.

"I'll get him…" sighed Sakura, bending down to wake up Naruto with a pulse of chakra.

"You don't seem to be very surprised by this outcome," Shino commented over the sounds of Naruto waking up and shouting 'what the hell's going on?' "Why is that?"

The pink-haired girl snorted as she smacked Naruto absently over the head and went to stand by her comrades. "Please, it wasn't that hard to deduce. My parents are civilians, and they said that something was happening, so they were unable to come to watch my fight. Add in the factors of Alice's odd behaviour and the crowd's general uneasiness, it's pretty obvious that something big was going to go down."

"That's my Sakura-chan!" Alice squealed out, capturing the girl in a massive hug. "I'm so proud of you!"

As everyone rolled their eyes at the display, completely at ease with the situation, even as fighting broke out in the stands, Naruto looked between everyone's faces, utterly confused at what was going on. "Ne, ne, what's going on, 'ttebayo?"

Alice slapped her forehead as she disengaged from Sakura, "Duh! Forgot about Naruto and the plan!" Gripping the blond by his shoulders, the brunette looked at him with serious green eyes. "Listen up, Naruto-chan, 'cause I'm only going to say this once; we're under attack by Oto, and we need to kick their asses. However, before we can go out and fight, I need you to cast the biggest dispel you can, okay? We need to wake everyone up so that they can fight or get out of the way."

Still slightly confused by the whole situation, but mollified by having instructions to follow, Naruto gathered up as much chakra as he could before flushing it out of him in a massive pulse of chakra that covered the whole stadium and then some.

Letting out a low whistle of appreciation, Kankurō, alongside Temari, walked up to stand by Shikamaru. "That was impressive."

The other genin could only agree, as they saw everyone within the stadium waking up from the genjutsu. It was an impressive display of chakra, and the two Suna-nin within the group began to believe, only a teeny-tiny bit, that this kid could actually defeat their brother.

A sharp clap from Alice brought them out of their revere, and she grinned at the seven genin grouped around her. "Alright kiddies, that's absolutely wonderful and all, but here's the lowdown."

"Shikamaru, Shino, Sakura and Naruto," the brunette said sharply, causing said kids to stand at attention, "you shall head into the forest to take down any Oto-nin in there. The Suna-nin will help you, so make sure not to attack them, and doubly make sure to announce who you are to them."

Just as Alice said that, there was an explosion down in the arena, and everyone could only watch in stunned silence as Gaara smashed through the walls of the stadium with his transformed arm, before he went blundering off into the nearby forest. After a mere moment of hesitation, Sasuke went darting after her, looking mightily angry.

Alice let out a sigh of exasperation and kneaded her temples, looking rather frustrated. "Okay, new orders to be added to that; go after Uchiha Sasuke and detain Sabaku no Gaara. Along the way, attack any Oto-nin. To do so, Naruto," the blond perked up at hearing his name, "you will summon as many kage bunshin as you can and divide them into groups of four to help out any Konoha or Suna-nin that you can find. And if you can, leave me some here to spare, so that I can take them out into the streets to help save civilians."

"Roger!" Naruto yelled out as he made his usual seal and flared out his chakra once more.

The surrounding company could only stare in shock as hundreds of Naruto-bunshin formed in the immediate area, as well as spilling down onto the arena floor. It only took a few minutes for the bunshin to organise themselves into teams of four, and salute the balcony of genin.

"Right," Alice said, almost to herself, as she looked down on the gathered force. "All of you guys down in the arena, head out into the forest now; you have your orders, so complete them to the best of your abilities."

The mass of bunshin let out a roar of agreement before sprinting off into the forest, already beginning to take down any enemy-nin nearby – all of which were very surprised by the sudden influx of orange-wearing replicas attacking them.

"You lot on the balcony here," Alice barked out to the bunshin squeezed into the vicinity, "how many teams are there?"

"Twenty six," a Naruto-bunshin said helpfully.

Alice nodded to herself before forming a ram seal and summoning up twenty six kage bunshin of herself. The Alice-bunshin all saluted to the original, before grabbing a team of Naruto-bunshin and heading out into the mess that was going on outside the walls of the arena.

"Shall we head out now?" Shino asked Alice, adjusting his glasses on his face. "It would be logical to do so, as Gaara and Sasuke may get too far ahead for my kikiachū to track. My kikaichū are still attached to Sasuke-san, but those that I placed on Gaara-san seemed to have been killed by a massive influx of chakra; we will be tracking Sasuke-san because of this, rather than Gaara-san."

"Oh good," Alice said with a sigh of relief, not too bothered with Shino's dead companions, "you can track them." The girl visibly straightened up before nodding at Shino, Shikamaru, Sakura and the original Naruto. "You guys should definitely head out now. And remember; show no mercy."

Sakura responded with a sharp 'Hai!' for them, before sprinting off the wall alongside the rest of her team. They quickly disappeared into the forest after Sasuke and Gaara.

After watching them go, to make sure they got there safely, Alice turned to Temari and Kankurō, taking in their determined expressions. "You two don't need to listen to me. Baki is down in the arena there fighting; go report to him and let him direct you. I'm sure he has plans for you guys."

The two siblings nodded sharply at Alice before leaping off the balcony to head towards their sensei, who was fighting against several Oto-nin beside a sword-wielding Hayate of all things.

Alice watched them go with tired eyes before letting out a sigh and carefully cracking her knuckles. "Okay, let's get to work."

* * *

"Thirty six, my youthful rival!" Gai laughed out as he kicked away an Oto-nin. The unfortunate woman went sailing over all of the fights nearby and landed in a crumpled heap on the floor of the arena, completely unmoving. "I believe that I'm beating you!"

Kakashi held back the urge to roll his eyes at his comrade's behaviour as he fried a bunch of men and women with a nifty katon jutsu he had picked up from Iwa. "That's forty for me, Gai. Maybe your youthfulness is dying in your old age."

Sure, it was petty and was bound to get him a lecture on how high 'Gai's flames of youth were fanning,' but he really couldn't care less.

Luckily, the lecture that Gai was about to begin was interrupted by loud cackling nearby.

Gai and Kakashi watched alongside several Oto and Suna-nin as a very familiar brunette came dashing into the vicinity, waving kunai above her head in a crazed manner. She tossed several of them into large pockets of enemy-nin and only laughed louder as they exploded into bright, flowering flames. "Yes! BURN! BURN, BABY, BURN!"

Several Oto-nin ran from the explosion, screaming in terror as they tried to beat out the flames that had latched onto their clothes and hair.

Kakashi absently tripped a flaming shinobi as he dashed past, never taking his eyes off Alice's form as she danced between flaming people, occasionally lashing out with a taijutsu move that Kakashi could safely say that was taught by Anko. Along with the insanity that the girl was currently displaying.

Suddenly, the girl pulled a scroll out from one of her numerous pockets and began winding it around herself. Both Kakashi, Gai and the collected enemy was very surprised when it started hissing in a very familiar manner as she went plunging into the thick of another pocket of enemy-nin.

"Wait—!" was all Kakashi managed to get out before a massive explosion, so large that it made all of the other raging infernos look like a lit matchstick, washed out from where Alice had been, making him put his arms up to ward off the wave of heat that came rushing over him.

"Alice!" the silver-haired shinobi shouted out once he recovered, his normal eye and uncovered sharingan eye taking in the charred, black area that was once over ten Oto-nin and one of his students.

Before he could despair, a hand tapped him on the back, and Kakashi turned to see an unimpressed Alice standing behind him.

"Bunshin number forty nine," she commented in a bland tone of voice as she disapprovingly shook her head. "That suicidal idiot."

Having realised that the Alice he had seen commit suicide was a kage bunshin, Kakashi gave Alice a thorough once-over. "How many kage bunshin have you got going on?"

The brunette gave him a sly wink. "Wouldn't you like to know? All you need to worry about is the ninja in here; I've got the rest covered."

An explosion sounded off in the distance, and Kakashi and Gai swivelled their heads towards it.

"There go the snakes~!" Alice sung out, giggling delightfully. "You'd think they'd learn that such a complex summoning matrix can easily be disrupted with only a few key seals; silly Orochimaru."

"Such youthfulness!" Gai boomed out, giving Alice a thumbs-up. "I'm proud of you, Alice-kun!"

Alice sent back the jōnin a thumbs-up and a grin – Kakashi _swore _that it _gleamed_. "Thank you, Gai-sensei! Oh, I almost forgot! Lee-kun's A-Okay, Gai-sensei. I made sure that he escaped with all of the other hospital patients."

As Gai swept Alice up in a big hug, crying about her youthfulness, and the girl _hugged back_, Kakashi could only pray to Kami that his suspicious weren't true; Alice _really _hadn't been taught by Gai during the break, had she?

When both Alice and Gai did a dynamic entry back into the battle going on around them, Kakashi could only despair at the hits his sanity was going to take in the future.

Before Kakashi could begin to fight, however, an explosion sounded off, and everyone in the vicinity looked up to see a large, purple glowing box spring up around the Hokage box.

* * *

**(A few minutes prior) Bunshin number fifty-five: Outskirts of Konoha's forest**

"Alright, men," Alice said to the Suna-nin gathered around her, "you know what to do, correct? "

When there was bunch of uncertain nods from the shinobi around her, Alice let out a soft sigh of exasperation. "Look, Jiraiya-sama sent me to guide you guys because he trusts me; just because I'm a child doesn't mean I don't know what I'm doing. Now, whoever has the seals that Jiraiya-sama and I prepared need to jump in straight away; it's detrimental to the plan that you disrupt the summoning matrix as quickly as possible, otherwise we're totally screwed over, yeah?"

A few selected faces in the crowd nodded, looking certain of their goal. They may have to listen to an inexperienced little girl, but one of the Sannin had dropped her off to help with this part of a plan, claiming that she was 'mediocre at fuinjutsu, but at least she knows what she's doing.' And coming from a master of seals, that was good enough.

"Remember," Alice continued, eyes flicking over the men at her disposal, "place each seal at the compass points. That way it'll override the previous commands and let Jiraiya-sama disrupt the summoning matrix. Which also means that we won't be eaten by a giant ass snake!" She grinned at the shinobi in front of her before slowly swallowing down the excitement she felt at fucking over Orochimaru's plans.

Alice gave a sharp nod to the Suna-jōnin who was in charge of the squadron of men who would follow the seal placers. "Follow them and fan out so that there's no escape for the Oto-nin; kill them all."

The jōnin saluted her briskly before organising his men into smaller teams.

"Excellent," Alice muttered to herself before turning to face the clearing that the summoning was being performed in a few hundred metres away. It was hidden by the forest of trees that Konoha was famous for, but that would work more in their advantage than the Oto-nin's.

They wanted to be hidden, but it was too bad that Alice already knew where they were.

"Let's begin," Alice remarked, barely flinching as masses of shinobi darted past her, ruffling her hair with the slipstream coming off of them.

_Indeed…it begins now._

* * *

**Bunshin number four: Streets of Konoha**

"This way!" Alice shouted to the masses of civilians darting through the streets in organised panic – they were civilians of a fucking shinobi village, they weren't going to go rushing madly over each other when a bunch of uppity ninja start smashing their way through the streets. They were better than that; they were Konoha.

The brunette stopped directing the civilians that had watched the exams into the nearest hideaway for a moment as she flashed hand signs at a Naruto-bunshin on the rooftop opposite her.

The blonde-haired bunshin signed back sloppily before hurrying off to go and pick up a young girl that Alice had spotted two streets over.

"Thank Kami I managed to convince Jiraiya to teach me and Naruto those old ANBU signs," Alice remarked to herself as she crouched down on the apartment roof she was on. "Who knows how much worse this whole thing could've gone…"

* * *

**Bunshin number ten: Chūnin Exam Arena**

"I'm so totally canon fodder!" Alice wailed as she went smashing into a bunch of Oto-nin, frying pan swinging madly.

Another Alice nearby rolled her eyes at her sister's melodrama as she neatly slit the throat of an enemy before whirling around to stab another in the gut. "We're _all _canon fodder here, idiot."

Her comment went unanswered, though, as bunshin number ten went up in a puff of smoke due to a vicious kunai through the head. The memory transferred over to all of the Alice's and several nearby winced slightly at the memory as they fought their own battles against swathes of Oto-nin.

"At least we're going down fighting," one Alice consoled herself as she leapt into a spinning kick that slammed into an Oto-nin's face and sent him sprawling back, blood gushing out of his nose. Alice didn't give a moment of rest as she pounced on him, snapping his neck cleanly with her arms as she had used up all of her kunai earlier on.

She was quickly dispelled by a stomp to the back by another enemy-nin, but she was almost instantly replaced by yet another copy of herself.

"LET'S GO WILD!" the newest replica cheered before diving into the chaos that was spread across all of the circumference of the arena. The stadium was slowly being demolished by every ninjutsu attack fired out, and dozens of bodies lay, sprawled across its' interior.

* * *

Spinning around and slicing yet _another _Oto-nin into shreds via a handy fūton jutsu, Baki dropped back-to-back with the man he had attempted to kill only a few nights before.

"Odd situation we're in, isn't it?" Hayate said to the Suna-nin offhandedly as his sword twitched up to block another attempt on his life from a particularly stubborn man with swords as hands. "You try to kill me, I get away, now we're saving each other's necks."

The man was decidedly chipper as he sliced and diced his way through the enemies that Baki and he had collected down on the floor of the arena. _Annoyingly _chipper, Baki commented to himself as he flashed through handseals to spit a ball of condensed air at a large squad of enemy-nin. It was like the Konoha-nin was doing it on _purpose_, just to get under Baki's skin.

He was—it was almost admirable. _Almost. _If he wasn't an annoying little leaf and Baki wasn't fighting for his _Kami-damned life!_

"Fucking Konoha-nins," Baki muttered loud enough for Hayate to hear as he shuffled in a circle with his back still pressed against him.

He got a choking laugh for his efforts.

_Fucking leaves._

* * *

Stretching out his shadows to capture the group of five Oto-nin barging towards them, Shikamaru grunted with the strain.

Of course he had to have the troublesome job of keeping Naruto and Sakura safe, even when they had already charged on ahead to defeat Gaara after he and Shino had told them to. Shino could handle himself, sure, but the other troublesome two seemed to attract trouble like they were magnets or something.

"Alice owes me so many games for this," the Nara muttered as he kept the Oto-nin frozen while a squad of Naruto-bunshin began to beat on them; just like he had planned.

"I admit her plans are effective," Shino commented as he sliced down an Oto-nin that had slipped through Shikamaru's shadow. "But we will be overwhelmed shortly, as I believe there are no more Naruto's in the vicinity; she did not plan for this."

"I didn't either," Shikamaru grumbled. "Troublesome girl."

They were so screwed. The waves of enemy-nin never seemed to stop, and Shikamaru could feel himself getting tired, even after that Soldier pill that Alice had given to him. They simply couldn't hold up any longer. At this rate—

"Need a hand?" a familiar voice rung out.

Turning from an Oto-nin who just wouldn't go down, Shikamaru was relieved to see his sensei, Asuma, alongside half-a-dozen Suna and Konoha-nin standing nearby. If he was anyone else, he would've said that they looked cool.

Then the unfamiliar nin darted off and began beating back the enemy, leaving only Asuma to face the two exhausted boys.

"You did well, you two," Asuma smiled at Shino and Shikamaru. "But now you can kick back; we've got this covered."

"Where's Chōji and Ino?" Shikamaru asked, concerned about the whereabouts of his teammates.

"Don't worry, Shika," the Sarutobi said, "they're helping Kiba protect the Academy right now, alongside that female student of Gai's."

Besides Shikamaru, Shino shifted his glasses slightly. "Kiba is alright, that is good. Where is Hinata, if I may inquire?"

Asuma shrugged. "From what Kurenai told me, I think she's in the network of caves behind the Hokage Monument, alongside the rest of the hospitalised people."

When Shino nodded in understanding, Asuma clasped a large hand on each of the genins shoulder. "But don't worry about that; we've still got some Oto-nin to smash."

Shikamaru barely managed to stifle a groan. "Too troublesome…"

* * *

Team Seven stood together, all slightly battered and bruised, but still _together_, in front of the monstrosity that was once Gaara. The boy had begun to transform shortly after Sakura had attempted to slice his Achilles heels open with medical scalpels, and had been on the offence ever since – and his heels had already healed up, Kami-damn it!

Sasuke was barely conscious on his feet after two failed Chidori's, and the Cursed mark was covering over half of his face as he leant slightly on Sakura.

Sakura, who had what was probably a broken wrist as she tried to smash her way through Gaara's sand defence using that power-boosting chakra technique she had discovered in a book in the library. It wasn't the same as Tsunade's own specialised one that increased her strength to a ridiculous degree, but it was a fairly good, albeit weaker copy. She was also sure that half of her skin had been peeled off of her face from Gaara's Kami-damned sand.

Naruto was the one who looked the best of the trio. Even after tossing out a never ending swath of kage bunshin, the boy didn't seem to tire. And even after Gaara had used his tail to smash him through several tree branches, the boy bounced back with only a few cuts and bruises, only looking more determined, even if he was slightly scared of the fellow jinchūriki.

"So you're telling me," Sakura croaked out to Naruto, looking mildly angry, "that this bastard has a fucking _demon _inside of him?"

"Ah…" Naruto laughed out nervously, scratching behind his head. "Yes?"

What came out of Sakuras mouth next made both Sasuke and Naruto flinch, and almost certain that Alice had been a terrible influence on the previously sweet girl.

"How do you know this, dobe?" Sasuke asked Naruto, brow furrowed in thought.

"Know what?' Naruto asked, looking decidedly nervous and he looked between Gaara – who was in the middle of a massive rant about love and loneliness and all sorts of emo things – and Sasuke and Sakura, both of which were looking at him expectantly.

Finally, Sasuke gave a sort of sigh-except-Uchiha-don't-get-exasperated-according-to-Alice. "Naruto, you have a demon inside of you, too, don't you?"

An incredibly panicked and scared look came over Naruto, and Sakura felt something twist inside her as her brave, but annoying and determined, but loud teammate began to inch away from her and Sasuke, looking like a cornered animal.

"Naruto, I don't care about the demon in your gut," came the soft comment from Sakura as she gazed into Naruto's eyes. "You're Naruto; my annoying, loud, stubborn, bull-headed teammate who always seems to find himself in trouble. You're Naruto, not a demon, and I get that."

A grunt of agreement came from Sasuke, who was looking decidedly disgruntled about Sakura's flowery comment. "No demon could be as big of a dobe as you."

Ignoring the insult in Sasuke's words, Naruto looked upon his teammates with surprise and tentative hope. "Y-you really think that?"

"LIES!" Gaara bellowed out, ruining the moment. "THEY ARE LYING TO YOU, UZUMAKI! YOU CAN TRUST NO ONE, AND YOU MUST ONLY LOVE YOURSE—!"

"SHUT UP YOU OVER GROWN RAT!" Sakura screamed at him, effectively cowing the boy into silence. "GO AND SHOVE SAND IN YOUR FILTHY, STUPID MOUTH! WE'RE HAVING AN IMPORTANT MOMENT HERE, AND YOU JUST RUINED IT!"

"MOTHER WANTS—!" began Gaara, before Sakura was suddenly throwing herself off the branch her team was standing on towards him. "FUCK YOUR MOTHER, AND YOU TOO!"

Cringing as Sakura began to use only one hand to punch the side of Gaara's face that wasn't transformed yet, Naruto leant towards a shell-shocked Sasuke. "Not such a useless fangirl now, is she?"

Sasuke sent him a withering look in answer before shoving him forwards. "Go help her, idiot."

The blonde stumbled forwards slightly before leaping towards Gaara to engage him in another round of fighting. But not before he latched onto Sasuke's sleeve and tugged him along. "If I'm going, then you're coming with me; like it always should be."

* * *

"Kukuku, how does it feel, old man," Orochimaru laughed at Hiruzen, eyes dancing with mirth, "to be trapped and helpless as your village burns?"

Rather than the shocked or scared face that Orochimaru had expected his old sensei to portray at seeing a large barrier erect itself around them and the invasion on his village begin, he was met with a face of cold and sharp calmness.

"A village cannot burn without sufficient fuel," Hiruzen said quietly to Orochimaru, "and you seem to have brought insufficient amounts, Orochimaru."

"What are you talking about, you old fool!" Orochimaru hissed in return, anger bubbling to the surface of his previously mirthful visage. "My forces have easily begun to destroy you're precious village, and soon nothing will be left! Your Will of Fire means nothing!"

With a stern expression on his face, Hiruzen tossed his Hokage robes aside, revealing his battle armour, much to Orochimaru's shock. The wizened man stood proudly in his garb, more composed than anyone should be when their home is being threatened. "If you haven't noticed, Orochimaru, Suna has turned its back on you and is fighting beside Konoha. Although we were angry with their initial betrayal, we can understand the reasoning behind it and welcomed them with open arms. Now, the Will of Fire has been transferred to Suna, and we will beat your forces from Konoha!"

As Hiruzen spoke, Orochimaru frantically began to look around at the battles erupting around him, yellow eyes peering through the barrier his Sound Four had raised around them. He was shocked to see that his own men and women were struggling against the opposing force of the Konoha-nin, _as well as Suna-nin! _When had this happened? Kabuto had not informed anything of the likes! It was preposterous!

Suddenly, Hiruzen spoke up, like he was reading Orochimaru's mind. "If you are wondering about the spies you had placed in this village, then do not bother anymore; they do not exist. A few anonymous tips meant that we found out and eradicated all of your men; bar one. A man who had the audacity to pretend to be one of my ANBU was chased out of the village recently; we have made sure that he was unable to get back in."

'Kabuto, you fool!' Orochimaru cursed his servant in his head. He had made specific plans for the white-haired boy during the invasion, and now those plans had been derailed. But if Kabuto hadn't been here to signal for the invasion to begin, then…_who did? _Someone was playing with Orochimaru's own plans, and he was not happy at all.

Scrambling to put together his usual smug façade at this sudden revelation, Orochimaru managed to smirk at his old sensei. "Well, old man, you should know by now that I have more plans than what you could possibly hope to counter. In fact, right now, we should be getting an interesting surprise."

Turning his head towards the wall he was expecting to crumble under the abrupt summoning of one of his bigger snake summons – a rather testy three-headed one – Orochimaru was shocked as, rather than a puff of smoke and a large snake, he was met with an explosion so big that he could feel the tiles of the roof shake under his feet.

"NO!" he howled, fury twisting his face. "WHAT TRICKERY IS THIS?"

Whirling around to face the obviously amused Hokage, Orochimaru began to flip through handseals at a ridiculously fast pace. "I had wanted to humiliate you some before I killed you, sensei, but I'm afraid that I don't have the time or patience for that now. I'm going to eradicate you from the face of this land and bathe in your blood!"

Narrowing his eyes in answer, Hiruzen warily watched as Orochimaru finished his seals and slammed his hand against the tiles beneath him. The Hokage's legs bunched, prepared to dodge whatever attack that would come his way, but was surprised when something akin to a sealing matrix bloomed into life under Orochimaru – those weren't the handseals for a summon.

Leaping away from where had just used his jutsu, Orochimaru grinned wickedly as three large boxes – almost like coffins – began to rise out of the ground. They were number one, two, four, and completely nondescript in appearance. It also took Hiruzen a few seconds to realise just what was standing in front of him.

"No," he gasped out, "you didn't—! Orochimaru, this is a _forbidden _jutsu! You should've never—"

"Oh please," Orochimaru drawled out, brushing his hair from his eyes, "as if something being 'forbidden' could stop me. It took time, yes, but I managed to complete this particular jutsu and master it."

"Edo Tensei…" Hiruzen said in revered but disgusted voice. "The jutsu that brings back the dead." The man then roused himself out of his thoughts and turned a glare towards Orochimaru once more. "How could you do this, Orochimaru! This is—"

"Shut up, old man," Orochimaru replied scathingly as he began to flip through some more handeals. "You should be more worried about yourself than anything else right now." As he finished the last seal, something in the box _shifted. _Life was breathed into bodies, eyes blinked open for the first time in years and limbs moved when they should've never done so again. At least, that's what Orochimaru _thought _was happening.

Hiruzen also thought the same, and quickly tossed a kunai with an explosive tag attached to it towards the coffin with the number four on it – anyone but his successor, please!

Just as he did so, though, the coffins swung open – much faster than what Orochimaru had expected. A head poked out of number one, but not one belonging to the almighty Senju who founded Konoha so many years ago. Instead, a certain female brunette stuck her head out and sung in a deep baritone, "_Hello~!_"

Next to her, coffin number two's occupant poked her head out, identical to number one. "_Hello~!_"

Finally, number four's head came out, and began to join the symphony that her sisters had made. Unfortunately, she spotted the kunai and explosive tag combo that was coming her way and her eyes widened in shock. "_Hel—Oh no~!_"

The kunai slammed through her head, dispelling her in a puff of smoke, and the explosion that followed shortly after rocked the other two coffins. That resulted in the two obvious Alice kage bunshins to come stumbling out of their hiding places, looking mightily pleased with themselves.

"Another beautiful explosions to add to the count from today," number one said to number two. "I think this is turning out to be a wonderful day." She held her fist out to her sister, who fist bumped it happily. "Agreed."

Turning from their private moment, both girls offered their shocked audience of one Sannin and a Hokage – also the Konoha ANBU guards stuck outside of the barrier, who were trying their best to keep track of what was going on inside the barrier through the murky purple walls – a gleeful smile. "_Hello!_"

"A-Alice-chan," Hiruzen stuttered out, still rather shocked at what had happened in the past minute or so. "What are you doing here? _How _are you here?"

The two kage bunshin shared a look before simultaneously shrugging at the man. "_We just fucked over the sacrifice seals on the coffins and put ourselves in there; we left the summoning matrix, though, 'cause that was the only way were getting up here._"

Flinching at the eerie way that the girls spoke at the same time, Hiruzen opened his mouth to continue to speak, but was beaten to it by an enraged Orochimaru.

"YOU!" he spat at the unconcerned brunettes. "YOU'RE THE ONE WHO CONTINUES TO RUIN MY PLANS, AREN'T YOU!"

Bunshin number one gave Orochimaru a peace sign while the other grinned wickedly at him and replied. "How does it feel to have your lapbitch missing? Bet your dick's feeling small without him sucking up on it."

"Alice!" Hiruzen said warningly, concerned about the girl's wellbeing at seeing how angry his old pupil was getting. "Enough!"

Bunshin number one turned to pout at him, but was quickly dispelled by a kunai to the head tossed by Orochimaru.

That was all the warning number one got before another kunai came whistling towards her.

She managed to twist her body at a nearly impossible angle to miss it, and quickly leapt to Hiruzen's side in case Orochimaru decided to continue on the offence. Without taking her eyes off the missing-nin, Alice drew her frying pan and held it ready in front of her. She addressed Hiruzen next, eyes still on the clearly angered Orochimaru. "What's next, Oyaji? Do we go on the offence or defence? Attack now or wait for him to make a move?"

While he would rather his surrogate granddaughter not be _anywhere near _this fight, Hiruzen understood that she was a kage bunshin and therefore wasn't in any danger. Also, he needed all of the help that he could get.

Just as Hiruzen was going to order her on the attack, Ororchimaur leapt forwards hands already twisting together to create a high-level katon jutsu.

Hiruzen and Alice scattered accordingly, splitting off to two sides to pincer Orochimaru. The Snake Sannin didn't hesitate to pivot around and expel a particularly vicious burst of fire from his mouth, planning to just burn the both of his opponents in a wide-spread attack.

Thinking quickly, Hiruzen raised a wall of earth to block the attack, making sure to protect Alice as he did so. He didn't know what the girl could offer in this fight, as this was mostly going to be a ninjutsu based fight and she didn't know many of them. The other skills that she had to offer – taijutsu, kenjutsu and stealth – were all completely outmatched by Orochimaru. Heck, her taijutsu style was Orochimaru's own style. He had years of mastery, she had a few months.

However, Hiruzen didn't know that Alice had already realised all of this a month ago and had planned accordingly. The only interesting skill she had to offer was fuinjutsu, but she also knew that Orochimaru was rather adept at that certain skill set. While he may not be a master like Jiraiya, he was more than good enough to create the complex piece of work that was the Heaven and Earth Cursed seal – not even Jiraiya knew how to cancel it as there was simply too many layers and unknown components that Orochimaru had added. Also add the fact that the seal quite literally _attacked _anyone that tried to remove it only made matters worse.

But Alice didn't despair at the fact that Orochimaru had more knowledge than her. If there was one thing that she had learnt from her time learning about seals, it was that those who had a creative mindset and clever ploys could ignore several of the basics of fuinjutsu.

While Orochimaru had years of knowledge and experience under his belt, Alice had a firm grasp of an entire other language that meant she could bypass some of the problems that seals had, and also knowledge of dozens of different movies, books and comics that gave her some very unique ideas to creating seals. She also had a different mindset that Orochimaru, or any other person in the Elemental Nations for that matter, had.

While most people who learnt the shinobi arts knew of certain laws and rules of chakra and what it can and can't do, Alice completely and utterly ignored them. If chakra could create fire without using the law of combustion or heat, than she could damn well make fire spring from a seal and stay lit, using the reaction with oxygen that keeps normal fires lit. And if chakra could defy laws of physics as a simple exercise of chakra control, then she too could make physics her bitch.

And so, after a month with several hundred kage bunshin being created and destroyed in dozens of freak accidents, Alice had successfully created dozens of new and exciting seals. Most were as simple as the binding seal that she had used on Karasu, some were copies of Jiraiya that she had merely coded into English, and others were made by accident. But there was some that she had found highly useful in battle, if rather unorthodox.

So as Orochimaru cut off his chakra from fuelling the fire expelling from his mouth and Hiruzen hesitantly lowered his defences, Alice was reaching with her chakra senses to where Orochimaru was standing.

It was hard to ignore the dozens of seals that she had planted the night before on the rooftop – hours of work with around ten kage bunshin by her side – but Alice managed to find the small seal that she had placed (luckily) right below Orochimaru.

It only took a small flare of her chakra directed towards that certain seal before it activated and opened into a sprawl of foreign writing that had Orochimaru leaping away in alarm.

Unfortunately for him, his leap only helped the effect of the seal, and he was stunned as he didn't come down from his leap, and rather kept going up. But he was almost falling upwards, like the sky was the floor and the floor the sky. It was all rather disconcerting.

'Thank you Harry Potter," Alice thought as she watched Orochimaru go falling upwards feet first now. 'That spell in the Third Task of the Triwizard Tournament was the catalyst for this specific seal.'

"He's going to go straight into the barrier," Hiruzen remarked after recovering from his surprise and the abrupt change of pace in the battle. "He'll be fried if he hits it."

"Of course he won't, though," Alice replied, shifting her feet nervously as she watched Orochimaru calmly go through handseals, even as he drifted closer to the top of the barrier that covered the top of the building they were on.

Alice couldn't quite say what happened when Orochimaru finished his handseals, but suddenly Hiruzen was dragging her out of the way of a wave of dirt and tiles. The man then was spitting out bullets of water at Orochimaru, who was suddenly wielding Kusanagi, and Alice was feeling terribly lost and out of her depth. She had known of the two shinobi's strength due to watching the episodes where they fought, but it was a completely different thing to actually experience it.

Everything was a blur of motion and elements, and Alice spent most of her time dodging attacks beside Hiruzen, or blocking hails of kunai with her frying pan from hitting Hiruzen as he prepared a counter-attack.

The odds were better than in the series, but Alice couldn't help but wish that she knew the barriers weaknesses to break it down and let people in. She could attack any one of the Sound Four, but they were protected by the seals they were powering, as well as the barrier. And there was no way she could reach them before being cut down by Orochimaru. The only reason that she hadn't dispelled yet was because Hiruzen was protecting her from every attack going their way. She could create more kage bunshin, but that meant her already small reserves of chakra would be split even further. They would be mere canon fodder and she really didn't need any of that right now.

So out of desperation, she continued to activate seals whenever she could, trying her best to injure Orochimaru, or at least distract him. Neither were going well, but she knew that she was surprising the man.

While he was an S-class nin, and therefore had rather good situational awareness, Orochimaru had never really bothered to refine his chakra sensing. His pride and arrogance prevented him from even bothering with such a small skill when he had much better things to monopolise his time. Therefore, with Hiruzen distracting him with flashy and powerful ninjutsu, and brief bouts of taijutsu, Alice could activate a few seals.

Most of the time, Orochimaru could sense the seal activating and easily moved aware from the seal, but he didn't expect a seal to be powered up, and another to go off. It was a hard trick that Alice had learnt – routing a seal to be powered by another one, especially with distance between them – but it had paid off well as Orochimaru was trapped for a second or two by a binding seal, letting Hiruzen graze him with a hail of rocks.

Another instance meant that kunai burst out of a seal from a direction that Orochimaru hadn't expected and he had wasted several precious moments dodging them and beating them back. That had cost him a few strands of his hair a several pieces of cloth.

But Alice knew that they couldn't keep up this precarious, balanced dance, and apparently Hiruzen knew it too as he asked Alice to distract Orochimaru while he summoned a friend.

Deliriously happy that they were going to get the Monkey King Enma, but worried about how effective her attack would be, Alice decided to use one of her stranger attacks.

Activating several explosive seals to make Orochimaru steadily move towards her right, Alice waited until the last moment before activating a storage seal.

Quick-drying cement exploded out of the seal and splattered over Orochimaru, making the man pause as he tried to understand where to go from that strange attack. A replacement wouldn't work as he would still have the cement on him, and a katon jutsu to cook it to a degree to crack would take a while to work and would most likely burn him in the process.

After another second of deliberation, Orochimaru used a clever suiton jutsu to cleanse himself of the quickly hardening substance. Of course, it left him dripping wet and pissed, but Alice didn't worry about the latter as Hiruzen brought out a familiar staff as long as he was tall, and probably about as thick as her leg. An eye opened on the staff and surveyed the air, locking onto Alice's gaze for a second as he did so.

Upon looking in the single eye, Alice felt so small and insecure about herself. While Orochimaru and Hiruzen were ridiculously powerful warriors in their own right, Orochimaru was not a respectful creature and Hiruzen was old and frail – although not to the degree that would make him worthless.

But Enma was born a warrior and raised to fight. He was from the highly respectful Monkey clan and had made a name for himself before he had stood beside Hiruzen. And while he was only around as old as Hiruzen, he was ten times stronger and wiser, having a rational head and analytical mindset; he was the epitome of a legendary warrior.

And Alice was nothing.

The eye passed over her shortly, though, and locked onto Orochimaru. Then the staff and Hiruzen seemed to have a chat while Orochimaru ranted and raved about the staff and how much of a dick it apparently was.

Deciding that the two males were going to be busy for a while, Alice turned her mind to the matter of dispelling the barrier.

Well, there was no way she could dispel the barrier without Jiraiya's guidance and the entirety of the seal in front of her, but she was sure that there was a way around it. For every big, massive and powerful attack or defence, there's a small, stupid mistake that can be exploited.

And looking down at the tiles beneath her, Alice thinks that she may have found it.

The barrier needed a base to be drawn upon, and judging by the Sound Four's positioning, Alice would have to guess that it was tied into the roof itself. She could blow through the roof, but that would take a lot of force. She had explosive tags, but those are more built for expanding outwards in a burst of fire rather than focused force.

Alice needed something that had enough force to punch through the roof, which was layered with strengthening seals like all of the buildings in Konoha, yet be focused enough that it didn't crumble the roof beneath her feet.

So that meant she needed something that could activate at a distance, and was modified for that particular reason…Wait! _Modified! _Of course, why hadn't she seen it?

It would take some effort, and it would result in her using up the last of her chakra, therefore dispelling her, but she was sure that she could pull it off. As long as Hiruzen could keep Orochimaru distracted, then she could do it.

Hopefully she didn't blow her fingers off or something.

Quickly glancing over to assess what the situation was with Orochimaru and Hiruzen, Alice wasn't surprised to see the two engaged in a bout of fierce close-combat. Hiruzen was wielding Enma in staff form against Orochimaru and his fabled 'Grass-cutter' sword, and apparently holding his own.

And dealing some blows of his own. Ouch, Orochimaru's kidney's probably hurting now.

Pulling away from the fight and hurrying over to a part of the roof that was weakened from the fight that had been going on, Alice pulled out a scroll she knew to be blank and her already prepared calligraphy set – stolen from Sasuke.

Unrolling the scroll and dipping her brush in the ink pot, Alice began to sketch out vague ideas that were coming into her head. At first, she had thought about altering her explosive seals further and making it more focused on the force part rather than the actual combustion. That would mean that the seal produced an almost shot gun like motion rather than fire, and if she directed it down it could fire through the roof. But she would have to layer several of them on top of each other as the force wouldn't be strong enough to get through, and she didn't have enough chakra to fuel that.

Scrapping that idea, Alice began playing with another notion. She had thought of it when planning for this situation during the month of training before the third part of the exams, but she had put that to the side as she hadn't known how to create a 'slicing' seal and combine it with the force part of an explosive seal.

Perhaps she was right with going along the lines of the force part. It would need a different spin on it tho—

_SPIN! _THAT WAS IT!

If she could create a drilling motion…but there no object she could animate, so to speak, to make a drill out of, and she didn't know what seals to use to do so. But...

Alice thinks it's about time to fuck over physics again.

As Hiruzen and Orochimaru continued to fight and trade backstory bullshit, Alice was hastily (but still smoothly as she didn't want this to blow up in her face) painting out the new seal onto her scroll.

It had several components and was tricky to balance, but Alice felt like she could do it. She had been brought up with science in her house, so this wasn't beyond her understanding, and that was one of the more important parts of Fūinjutsu.

After a few minutes, Alice finished scribing the last part of the seal and quickly stood up and flipped it over to face the ground below.

Making sure to keep her feet well out of the diameter of the seal, Alice began to pour her chakra slowly into the seal.

She smiled when there was a great shredding sound and the ground began to tear up in a circular manner.

It was a tricky concept behind the seal, but Alice had more than a rudimentary grasp on the matter of black holes and it wasn't too hard to create a simpler concept but in reverse. It had taken a modified storage seal, but it was enough to create a reverse vacuum that spat out air in a drill-like fashion rather than sucking it in.

Now, if only she could hold out long enough to get through the roof; her chakra was being eaten up at a tremendous rate.

* * *

**Original Alice: Western district of Konoha**

When Jiraiya's companion froze suddenly, the man had to toss out a suiton jutsu in her direction to make sure that she wouldn't get hit by the hail of shuriken being tossed her way.

"Oi, kid," the Sannin said as he bounded towards the dazed girl, absently smacking an Oto-nin into the path of a fireball so that he could burn. "Wake up. This is no time for day dreaming."

A couple of smacks on the cheek brought Alice out of her daze, and she focused uncannily sharp and jaded eyes onto Jiraiya. The Sannin knew that she only showed those eyes around him, and even then, only in dire situations, so this was probably a rather important memory from one of the kage bunshin she had spammed everywhere. Maybe even more important than when she had informed him of the Oto kunoichi whose clothing she had sliced off and had beaten while she was scrambling for her bra.

"Hiruzen is versing Orochimaru above the Kage Box," Alice snapped out to Jiraiya as she disabled an enemy-nin with some well-placed nerve pinches and sent him stumbling back, arms dangling uselessly by his sides with a swift roundhouse kick. "The kage bunshin I had sent to help him had all been dispelled bar one earlier on, and I had been expecting a progress report."

"Did you just get one then?" Jiraiya asked the girl, fighting down the small tingle of fear he felt when she mentioned that his sensei was fighting his rogue teammate.

After slamming a kunai with an explosive seal attached to it through someone's head and shoving him back into a crowd of his comrades, Alice finally turned her full attention on him, ignoring the shreds of human matter that splattered her back after a brief explosion. "My last kage bunshin dispelled. But before she was, she managed to get us a way through the barrier in the box so we can join the fight. We can surprise Orochimaru from below due to my bunshin weakening the roof; she shredded part of the roof, so we could find that part and explode it from underneath to break through the last part of the roof.."

"Orochimaru?" a new voice spoke up from behind the two. "Where is he? Is he here?"

Letting out a soft sigh, Alice turned to face the newly appeared Anko, who was almost glaring at her student as she waited for an answer. "Yes, Anko, he's here." The girl was obviously stressed by the way she was forgoing her teacher's usual suffix. "I know I can't convince you to stay away, so I'll explain the situation as we go over; let's head to the Kage Box."

Turning around and leaping off the gore-splattered streets that had been her battleground for the past hour or so, Alice touched down on a nearby building and sped towards the Arena. Jiraiya and Anko followed her shortly before taking the lead, both desperate to get to their sensei – although for different reasons – but holding back so that the clearly exhausted Alice could keep up.

Spitting out a hundred kage bunshin and then some, as well as fighting and using a whole bunch of pre-made offensive seals meant that Alice was feeling the chakra loss and was barely able to push a constant amount to her limbs in order to jump the rooftops. Add in the fact that she had a dozens of cuts and bruises on her, as well as a particularly nasty gash on her leg from a fūton jutsu, she was almost ready to collapse and limping.

But this wasn't over yet. Even though a kage bunshin out near the forest had dispelled to inform everyone that Team Seven was successfully fighting Gaara and Naruto had managed to summon Gamabunta like in the series and subdue Shukaku when he got out, Alice knew that the three were likely to be lying unconscious somewhere after pushing themselves too hard.

And there was the whole dilemma with Hiruzen…

Alice's eyes widened considerably when she realised something dire.

Without her kage bunshin there to stop him, Hiruzen could use the Shiki Fūjin unhindered! That meant that he could sacrifice himself to defeat Orochimaru, even after all of Alice's planning!

Just as she came to this conclusion, a gut-wrenching pain exploded from Alice's gut. It ate and burned its way up her throat, simultaneously shredding her nerves and lighting them on fire with a kind of flame that burned cold. The brunette let out a startled scream of pain and stumbled in her run across a rooftop, the cut in her leg only aiding in her awkward fall

Both Jiraiya and Anko turned in time to see Alice fall to the ground before disappearing in a puff of white smoke.

* * *

**Well, damn, that was hard as fuck.**

**I was expecting to do a rather serious chapter, but it had turned out to be more mocking than anything. Just stupid little things ehre and there at the start, but still…**

**It was really hard to get into this, but I'm glad I got it out. Next time, thing will be more serious and stuff.**

**But before that, I have to write **_**From the Valleys to the Heavens**_**, **_**Red Gloved Hands**_**, and then **_**Rewind and Fast-Forward.**_

**I hope you guys don't mind the wait.**

**Ciao.**


	30. Act 6 Part 2: Fucking Funerals

**Here's a crappy and incredibly late chapter – throw your love towards **_**Talkingbirdguy**_**, the one who is more than willing to listen to my moaning about this story and life in general, and then is kind enough to give encouragements and advice back. Here's to him!**

* * *

**Disclaimer: **_Only my adorable Alice and the havoc she wrecks is mine._

**Warning: **_DEATH! Sad-making things, violence, language. LOTS AND LOTS OF SHINIGAMI!_

* * *

**3****rd**** Person P.O.V.**

"Shit," Jiraiya cursed as the last wisps of smoke disappeared from where Alice had just lay. "I know Alice doesn't know the shushin; what he fuck just happened?"

"Kami knows," Anko snapped back, "but we have to head to the Kage Box; Orochimaru's there _right now_."

The Sannin cast Anko a wary glance, slightly unsure of the woman's stability right now as she seemed so focused on her ex-sensei and didn't seem to care about her student's wellbeing. "Okay, we'll keep heading there. Alice will turn up eventually." At least, he hoped.

Anko nodded in reply before pouring on the speed, darting from rooftop to rooftop to make her way towards the glowing purple box on the horizon, Jiraiya following right behind.

* * *

**Alice P.O.V.**

The sensation of my body being torn into two didn't desist, even when there was a few seconds of feeling like I was being sucked into a vacuum and tossed around like a beach ball. If I wasn't so busy trying not to crumble into dozens of pieces I would be laughing at the sensation of flight that momentarily bestowed itself on me.

As it was, I felt like something was trying to tear its way out of my cranium to splatter my brains everywhere, so I wasn't laughing. Not one bit.

When my knees hit solid ground my brain attack lessened to a bearable degree. It was more like the monster in my brain was just half-heartedly throwing itself against my skull rather than trying to drill its way through.

As I blinked my eyes, surprised at the sensation of tears spilling out of them, I finally became aware that the distant howling sound in my head was in fact my tenant spewing out words in an uncharacteristically emotional voice. Never has Shinigami shown such strong emotion – or emotion, really – and it was significantly freaking me out.

_GET UP! GET UP! GET AWAY FROM HERE, YOU MEATBAG! ABORT THIS WHOLE SITUATION RIGHT NOW! WE DID NOT PLAN FOR THIS – THIS IS VERY BAD! MATTER AND ANTI-MATTER, ALICE! YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS!_

"Gwah?" I mumbled dumbly as I tried to find my footing, limbs trembling like I had just run a marathon. "Whatsahappening?"

To Shinigami's frantic shouts I managed to find my feet, head spinning and gut churning as I did so. Nothing in my body was reacting properly and, oddly enough, I felt like I was slowly being dragged towards something, like metal to a magnet. My feet were scrapping along the ground, my whole body leaning back at the odd sensation. Now if only my arms would respond so I could wipe my eyes, then maybe I would be able to see just what the hell was going on.

"Alice-chan? What are you doing here?"

At the familiar wizened voice, sounding strained in the pronouncement of my name, I felt my gut drop, the small whirlpool hidden in it swirling faster and faster. "Oyaji?"

Wiping my eyes with clumsy hands, I found myself staring at a scene that was sure to haunt me forever, no matter the fact that I had already seen it in ink and TV – real life was so much worse.

Sarutobi stared at me with pained eyes, a sword possessed by the bastard Orochimaru going right through him. Behind the older shinobi was Enma in monkey form, gripping the sword so that it wouldn't go through Sarutobi any further. The bastard who'd caused this scene was held tightly by Sarutobi, the snake Sannin's body trembling as he tried to beckon his legendary sword further through my grandfather figure. And to top it all off was the massive, terrifying form of Shinigami, who loomed behind Sarutobi, it's inhumane features staring right at me, even as it pulled Orochimaru's soul from his body.

I didn't know what to do at this scene. What could I do? Everything was so overwhelming, I didn't know what to think! My tenant's howls weren't helping anything, and I felt it try and take over my body, the disconcerting sensation of ice working its way up my spine the only implication.

I wrestled down the foreign presence, trying to shove it down in the depths of my mind so that I could keep control of my body. As it was, though, my body was spasming and jerking on its own; one hand was scrabbling at my leg, looking for something that I didn't know, as I wasn't in control of that particular limb.

"Oyaji," I managed to get past rippling lips, the name coming out in a gasp of effort as Shinigami tried to take control of my tongue. "W-What…? Help…I can h-help!"

Sarutobi smiled sadly at me with blood-flecked lips, the wrinkles in his face curving up like they always did when he looked at me. He coughed, more blood slipping out from his mouth to go splattering against the tiled roof.

A low keening sound escaped my own lips and I didn't bother trying to stop it. This was so much worse than merely watching or reading this scene. I knew that I had learnt long ago that I was attached to these stupid, cartoon characters, whether I wanted to or not. They had become living and breathing people when they had become precious to me, but it had never seemed like a bad thing until now.

Until one of them was dying.

Tears continued to spill out of my eyes uninhibited – the emotional pain of the whole situation and the physical that was currently tearing my mind and chest apart was too much – and I choked for air as I yanked my gaze away from Hiruzen; only to meet eyes with the Shinigami floating behind him.

'What on Earth…?' I thought to myself hysterically as the godlike creature tilted its head at me. 'How…?'

_Remember, I'm co-existing with my past self! That's what I've been trying to tell you, human; you can't get into contact with myself otherwise we're both dead._

'What the hell do you mean?' I asked my tenant as I felt myself be dragged forwards by an invisible force.

_Matter and anti-matter you stupid little girl! _

My mouth dropped open of its own accord, and I ignored Hiruzen's demands for me to get away as I continued to stare into Shinigami's ancient eyes. 'O-Oh shit.'

_Finally it's clicked!_

It had done more than click. It had fucking _crashed_.

I finally understood why my own Shinigami was warning me about this past-sort-of self; since he wasn't meant to exist in this time, any contact with the Shinigami in this time period would result in catastrophic destruction of my Shinigami and, therefore, me. It was a simply problem of anti-matter and matter coming into contact with each other, which would cancel each other out.

And by cancel out I mean that they would cease to exist, like I will if I get any closer to the other Shinigmai – this was really confusing, the two Shinigami's; I'll just call mine Shin, for death.

_Not time for such insufferable thoughts; just escape from here._

'But Hiruzen…!' I thought desperately as Shinigami plunged his hands through the Hokage to grab onto Orochimaru's soul. "NO!"

_It's too late, there's nothing we can do without being destroyed ourselves._

'Maybe not,' I snarled to myself, juggling the anger and sadness I felt at the scene laid out before me. 'But I sure as hell can beat Orochimaru up in his weakened state.'

_Do not do something foolish and get us killed._

'Wouldn't dream of it.'

And so, instead of diving forwards to kill Orochimaru and save Hiruzen heroically like I wished to do, I was stuck straining against the pull towards the anti-matter that was Shinigami and bawling to myself over the unfairness of it all.

Oh, and watching my grandfather figure's soul be dragged out of him and eaten by the very being that was inside me, give or take a few years of experience.

Fuck my life.

* * *

**3****rd**** Person P.O.V.**

It wasn't very hard for Jiraiya to find the weakened part of the roof his ex-sensei was fighting on as the underneath part of it was sagging dramatically.

After a quick rasengan and the ANBU members who been locked out of the barrier joining Anko and Jiraiya, the Sannin was leading the charge through the gaping hole to fight for their Hokage; murder was on their mind, and it was aiming for a certain slippery snake.

What they found on the other side was their worst nightmare.

Their beloved Hokage of many years was lying prone in the middle of the roof, surrounded by damage from an obviously colossal battle. His battle garbs was burnt away to reveal a very familiar seal, and majority of the group feared the worst right away; another Hokage had sacrificed his life to seal another Bijū.

That clearly wasn't the case, though, as they caught sight of a fleeing Orochimaru with his arms lifeless and mottled swinging by his side.

The rogue Sannin was dashing away from the scene, trying his best to signal for a retreat awkwardly with his worthless arms. A certain brunette was chasing after him screaming bloody murder as she waved a bunch of explosive notes in one hand and numerous more in the other.

When Orochimaru reached the edge of the barrier, his Sound Four was quick to drop it, falling in to flank him throughout the entire retreat.

But Alice wasn't willing to let them get away that easily, and even though the four Oto-nin turned to block her path she was quick to scoop down and pick up pieces of rubble from the prior battle. It was then a matter of attaching an overabundance of explosive seals onto them and lobbing them at the retreating Orochimaru.

The man dodged the attacks, but only by the skin of his teeth, resulting in parts of his clothes catching fire and his skin getting singed – it was only with a weak, sealless sūiton jutsu that Orochimaru managed to douse the flames without stopping, even though it cost him more of his small pool of chakra left over from the fight.

At seeing their leader under attack, the Sound Four excluding Jirobo went racing after him to protect him from any attacks coming from the direction they were heading to. The Oto-nin who had stayed behind was left to block a wrathful Alice's attacks from getting any closer, but was surprised when the girl's anger easily turned to him.

With eyes flashing a gleaming yellow reminiscent of Orochimaru and suddenly sharpened teeth and nails, Alice lunged at the significantly larger ninja, clawing and biting with all of her might.

The feral and unorthodox attack wasn't anticipated by Jirobo, and he struggled to fend of the savage swipes at his face and the teeth that went sinking into his arms.

When he finally managed to get the girl off, he was bleeding from majority of his upper half and cursing her out. He couldn't take any time to punish her, however, as he had to get back to his boss and protect him.

Unfortunately for Jirobo, he wasn't expecting backup to come so swiftly, and was completely unprepared for the haymaker that slammed into his face courtesy of Jiraiya, knocking him out almost instantly.

Of course, the rabbit punch to his nuts from Anko ended his misery pretty swiftly.

A few ANBU began to task of tying the man up and placing chakra suppression seals on him as the majority of the squad chased after Orochimaru and the rest of his guard – they would not be able to catch the Sannin before he disappeared down an old escape route unknown to them.

"I'll kill him!" a furious Alice yelled, lunging for the downed enemy shinobi. She was scooped out the air swiftly by Jiraiya, the man careful to avoid her swiping limbs. But the girl was quick to turn her anger on the person who had stopped her revenge, and began to scream and kick at Jiraiya instead.

"Hey, hey," the Sannin said hastily as the girl continued to squirm in his arms. "It's alright, Alice. It's okay. It's over. There's no point in fighting anymore."

"OYAJI!" the brunette howled out in answer, tears beginning to drip out from the corner of her eyes that were screwed up in emotional pain. "I want oyaji!" The last scream had seemed to pull the last of the fight out of her, and Alice slumped in Jiraiya's arms, crying and shaking.

And Jiraiya kind of wanted to join her, but he was a hardened veteran and was able to hold his pain back to comfort the girl who had brutally been introduced to the shinobi life once and for all. So instead, he awkwardly held onto her as her eyes bled back into emerald green orbs, and her teeth and nails retracted some. But he did notice that they remained longer than they originally had been; a side effect from Shinigami being summoned, perhaps.

The ANBU who had remained behind to secure Jirobo were quick to dart away to bring the man to T&amp;I, not wanting to intrude on the moment. They would also collect Hiruzen's body as they went by, bringing back to his clan home to be mourned over by his family before he was properly buried.

Anko hesitated as she saw one of the men connected to her ex-sensei be dragged back to her work, while her own student was an emotional wreck in front of her. After a moment of deliberation she gave Alice's head a quick and awkward ruffle from where it was tucked against Jiraiya's chest before heading off after the ANBU members; perhaps the pain of the asshole who had helped to kill her Hokage would be enough to cheer up her student.

Jiraiya sighed to himself as he hefted Alice in his arms, the girl reacting by completely turning around to bury her face into his neck to continue bawling.

In that moment, Jiraiya felt the frail frame of the girl shuddering in his arms, her usual bravado chased away by pure grief and agony, and wished that peace was a thing of truth, not some fantastical dream he'd thought up all those years ago. All this fighting caused nothing but pain, and Jiraiya could only hope that it would end at some point; if not for the old veterans like him, but for the young children like Alice, who should've never had to see a loved one die in front of them.

Raising a hand from where it was holding Alice close to him, Jiraiya gently hit a pressure point to send her off to painless sleep. The brunette was injured and while none of them were life-threatening, the gash on her leg may need some medical attention and stitches.

Casting one last look over what had been the battleground of Sarutobi Hiruzen's last stand, Jiraiya allowed a bitter frown to cross his face before he was off, running towards the hospital to place Alice down to be looked over.

* * *

When Alice awoke, she did so with great reluctance.

Not only had several of her plans backfired spectacularly, but her new grandfather had died right in front of her. She did have two of her own grandfathers back in her home world, one for each parent, but they always had lived far away and she rarely got to see them. Hiruzen had known her in a way that her own family members hadn't, and had cared enough to make sure that she was alright; something that no one out of her immediate family had ever bothered to do. He was wise and kind, and even though his perverted antics were creepy in a way, Alice had always found them amusing – especially whenever he was caught out by his advisors.

Every time she had gone into his office she was greeted with a warm smile and the comforting scent of smoke. Now, the office would be empty until Tsunade came, and Alice couldn't help but feel anger towards the Senju, who would be replacing a man like Hiruzen; it didn't seem fair that a blonde, alcoholic bimbo would be able to take the position that she hated, when a man who had loved and cherished the job of Hokage had to die.

But Alice knew that she was being silly, so she buried down those angry feeling to deal with when she was alone; preferably by destroying several trees with her hands and feet.

For now, she would get up and face the day. Or, more specifically, Hiruzen's funeral.

Cracking sticky eyes open – whether with sleep or tears, she didn't know – Alice stared up at the white-washed ceiling that could only belong to the hospital.

So she had been injured enough to end up here, had she?

Well, she wouldn't be staying in a depressing place like this for long if she could help it.

Flinging the sheets off of her sore body, Alice hissed in pain as she shuffled around to awkwardly perch on the side of the bed.

Very carefully the brunette began to check over her injuries, running calloused fingers over every bandage and scrape. Most were merely superficial injuries that would heal in a matter of days, but Alice could tell the gash on her leg would take much longer to seal up. There was still stitches in it as far as she could tell when she gently unravelled the bandages from it, and the skin around it was puckered and inflamed.

"Well that'll scar," she muttered to herself hoarsely, throat scratchy with dehydration and disuse. "Great," she continued as she rewrapped the bandages, "just add it to the collection."

After a few moments of fussing around with her bandages and remaking her bed, Alice finally turned to face the elephant in the room; the dark pile of clothes carefully folded on a chair by her bed.

Licking her lips nervously, Alice cautiously picked up the pile of clothes. She shook them out gently to reveal a long-sleeved black dress that matched with a pair of mesh leggings and a pair of black dress shoes; all looked newly bought and close to her size. There was even a change of plain undergarments to go with it, and Alice thanked every deity above; while her chest bindings had been taken off, she was still wearing the same pair of underwear as yesterday – stiff and crusted over with the blood of her enemies.

Taking a whiff of the material with a chakra-infused nose, Alice sifted through the new-store scent and fresh Konoha air to get to the barest trace of sticky sweetness and scales.

'Anko,' the brunette thought with a touch of fondness as she began to strip out of the hospital garb she had been dressed in to change into the undergarments and then the dark clothing over the top. They fitted perfectly, and Alice couldn't help but let her thoughts wander to the idea of Anko stripping her down and taking her measurements.

Knowing the woman, she probably did. And had fun while doing it too.

Not quite sure to make of that thought, Alice smoothed down the satin fabric of the dress and picked at the mesh leggings in curiosity. They were quite good quality – better than expected – and Alice could only hope that Anko hadn't spent too much money on her; she hated owing people.

A further exploration of her appearance through touch led to Alice touching the matted mop of her hair; clearly she needed to freshen up slightly.

A quick trip to an adjoining bathroom and a glance in the mirror revealed a pale and drawn face with haunted green eyes and matching bags under them, all framed with matted and greasy hair. Alice tried for one of her usual beaming smiles, but quickly abandoned the attempt when she received a twisted grimace in return.

Turning away from the ghastly image, Alice was quick to splash some water on her face and scrub at it, hoping to erase the shadows and ghostly bloodstains she could still feel plastered against her face.

(She couldn't help but mentally apologise to whoever had washed her down. The poor man or woman had probably spent ages scrubbing off the mess of human gore that had been painted across her body and face in swirls of reds and off-whites.)

It was then just a matter of easing her hair into a tight bun and shaking out the pieces of her hair that were too short to be placed into it to frame her face; hopefully they'd help hide the tears she could feel pressing at her eyes, demanding to be let out.

A deep sigh rumbled its way out of Alice's chest, and she was quick to turn away from the mirror, lest she catch another glimpse of herself. Normally she was all for mirrors – she loved to see herself, whether it be in brief glimpses reflected from mirrors, or even photographs – but the idea of seeing herself mostly well and alive, while her oyaji was about to be six-feet under made her empty stomach revolt with a hollow gurgle.

Wandering out of the bathroom, Alice slipped on the dress shoes to complete her look, feeling slightly uncomfortable in the casual clothing. The shoes felt too tight and strange on her feet, the girl having gotten used to the freedom that her ninja sandals gave her.

A quick pivot of the room revealed only a made bed and a discarded hospital gown; none of her possessions were nearby, including her usual clothes, and Alice could only hope that someone had burnt them for her. The idea of trying to wash out the taint of blood and failure from her clothing made Alice's stomach lurch again, and the brunette was quick to slam open the window and leap out.

Her injuries and stiff muscles made both her initial leap and her landing onto a nearby rooftop awkward and clumsy, but eventually the rhythm came to her. It was scary how natural it was for Alice to simply leap over whole streets like they were a mere gap in the pavement when, less than six months earlier, she was all but cemented to the ground, only dreaming of the freedom granted to those who had access to the sky.

Apparently dreams can come true, only no one had told Alice that they came with burdens of humans deaths on her shoulders and loved ones bones in her back pocket.

Alice ran faster, hoping to outrun the ghosts of all the lives she had taken or had let die. She let her feet move without a thought, her mind busy trying to find a quiet place in her head to curl up into a ball and cry.

Only there was no space for her anymore. There was only a wall of cold that could only be Shinigami's doing, blocking her from slipping away from reality. Whether the god was hiding or doing this on purpose, Alice didn't know, but she was too tired to care anymore.

As she alighted on a tree branch in the outskirts of Team Seven's training area and sunk down to crouch against the damp bark of the trunk, her mind managed to find a gap in the wall to slip through.

Rather than being put-off by the usual chill of Shinigami's presence that met her past the wall, Alice's mind embraced the sweet numbing sensation with reckless abandon; anything to escape the harsh, stinging reality.

Almost out of a knee-jerk reaction, Shinigami enveloped the girl, shrouding her from awareness of the outside world. The being was slightly startled to feel the girl burrowing herself deeper into his core being, but was quick to swallow her up further. How many times had he told her to just relax and let him meld with her? He was merely the embodiment of her subconscious thoughts; she wasn't complete without them and, therefore, him.

Alice had been struggling to keep herself separated from the other being in her mind, believing her situation much to be like a jinchūriki's and their corrupting Bijū. What she hadn't realised however, or learnt from Shinigami's constant speeches was that her struggles to remain 'normal' was only making her mental state worse.

It was much like the situation with Naruto, when he came face-to-face with his darker-self within the waterfall that had shown the truth of everyone's mind. If she did not embrace the darker thoughts of her mind to balance out her forced happiness, then it would merely tear her up from the inside out; she would become nothing more than a vegetable, or in a much worse case, an unstable murderous psycho.

Denying her simplest urges was foolish, but Alice hadn't realised it as she pushed and pushed against Shinigami, who was actually only trying to help (in his own awkward, rather creepy and off-putting way). When she finally folded and all but threw herself into Shinigami, she was finally melding her two halves, which had been missing each other for many years.

First Alice had tried to force the two apart by putting up a mask of a laughing and somewhat clumsy idiot, ignoring the darker thoughts that had swirled in the back of her mind, only surfacing in disturbing dreams or in sudden flashes of thoughts. Then it was a matter of denying Shinigami, a constant struggle that only served to hurt herself; not like she realised that the constant fatigue and headaches she got was a result of this.

However, the lack of Alice at the forefront of her mind left a gaping hole, and the lack of consciousness made her body's functions stutter and shut down.

To an onlooker, the girl's emerald eyes dimmed suddenly, became glassy and faraway. Then her body slumped further into the crook of the tree, her arms and legs flopping over the limb of the tree and nearly dragging her out of her perch.

It was only the swift reaction of Shinigami that saved Alice's body from plunging down to the unforgiving ground below. He left a large portion of himself in the back of Alice's mind to continuing caring for the distraught girl's mind and threw forwards a small portion of himself to take control of the girl's body once more.

Alice's body jerked upright suddenly, her blank eyes swiftly being filled with yellow; like honey was being poured into the empty depths of her eyes. Her pupils shuddered and twisted themselves into slits that scanned their body with near wonder.

Shinigami was almost surprised at the ease in which he had filled himself into the flimsy bones and soft flesh of Alice's body. He was so used to fighting against Alice for control that the almost fluid sensation of his consciousness filling up the girl's body had jarred his – Alice's – senses for a moment.

Twisting and turning his – Alice's – frail and calloused hands over and over, Shinigami stared at them in amazement. The sensation of having a working human body that was real and so _warm _made his newly acquired nerve endings tingle with excitement.

Gulping down a breath of air, Shinigami – Alice – marvelled at the moist taste of the forest around him. Every time he had wrestled control from Alice Shinigami had never really had a chance to truly take a moment and just _feel _his surroundings.

Shinigami had always mocked and ridiculed humans and their weak bodies, so much more inferior than the composition of other-worldly energy and wavelengths that made up his own body. But when he could _feel _the bark biting into his soft flesh, and _feel _the blood pumping through his veins, Shinigami finally found the fascination that so many other higher-beings felt for the tiny creatures known as man and womankind.

He felt _free._

A delighted laugh tumbled out from Alice's lips as Shinigami instructed his newly acquired body to stand up and shift around slightly. What followed was a series of highly dangerous acrobatic stunts performed by said body through the treetops; Shinigami wanted to test the limits of the body he was currently possessing.

When he flexed his own other-worldly power through Alice's body, Shinigami was delighted to feel his teeth sharpen and lengthen, and to see his nails extend further past his slender fingers to curve over the digits menacingly.

His veins coursed a sickly blue as he continued to feed his power throughout his body via his blood vessels, and Shinigami grinned with a mouthful of sharp teeth as his right arm coursed with his power to match with his already infected left arm. That arm was one of the things that kept him cemented within Alice's body, and while the girl hated the sight of blue veins and attempted to hide it under wrappings, Shinigami revelled in the sight of his true power.

The being could have remained in that clearing for hours, just testing his new body out and how far its limits were. However, he had something to do and Alice had a funeral to get to in the next hour according to the chatter he'd picked up as Alice had fled through the streets. She may not have listened, but Shinigami did; it was his self-appointed job to listen and look out for his charge, even if it was a hassle.

With a frown pinching his brow together, Shinigami withdrew most of his power from Alice's body, letting it return to its original state, barring the yellow eyes and extended nails and teeth – Shinigami liked the sensation of security the natural weapons gave him in this frail body, and he decided to continue keeping these improvements, no matter how much Alice protested.

After a quick check-over to see if Alice's body hadn't retained any damage – none to be seen or felt, thank himself – Shinigami leapt back into the trees and bounded away back to town; he had a date with a few rogues.

* * *

"What the hell are we still doing here?!"

"Calm down, it's only been a day; I'm sure she'll show up soon."

"She'd better, or I'll be using my—"

"Knock it off, Zaku." Barely bothering to glance up from the fuinjutsu book she had picked up and started reading – it was an intermediate one as she couldn't find the beginners, and as a result the words were going straight over her head. Even the notes scrawled into the margins with flowing script offered no insight as it was in a language she didn't understand – Kin shut down the irate male with a growl.

Wisely, the male fell silent but didn't pause in his pacing. In fact, he only seemed to be more agitated as he ran a rough hand through his hair, the other still injured and in a sling from when Sasuke had snapped it like a twig.

"Stop moving about and sit down," Dosu snapped from where he was absently making complex cradles with a spool of ninja wire on a nearby couch. "The bunshin Alice left us dispelled because it ran out of chakra, not because it was interrupted; she's still alive."

"And that's just _wonderful_, isn't it?" Zaku said sarcastically as he threw his hands up in defeat and collapsed into another one of the lounges situated in Sasuke's living room which also functioned as Alice's bedroom.

Kin turned a page of her book, barely comprehending anything. "She saved our lives, idiot, be a little bit grateful."

"I still don't believe it," Zaku grumbled back, crossing his arms over his usual gear in a huff. "There's no way a scrawny girl like her could've kidnapped us from under Orochimaru-sama's nose and brought us back to this creepy ass house."

"You were conscious for that trip home," Kin replied sourly, glancing up from her book to fix a glare onto Zaku. "I saw you squirming in her bunshin's arms, even as we were kawarimi'd back here."

"Genius mode of transport," Dosu remarked as he began to fashion a building from his wire, having gotten quite good at the exercises what with the book he'd found in Sasuke's room and the excessive amount of time on his hands. "Saved my ass as well."

With a strangled shout of rage, Zaku abruptly stood up from his seat, sending the couch rocking on its heels with the force of his ascent. "I don't give a fuck about any of that shit; I just want out of here!" The boy continued to mutter under his breath as he brushed past a mildly intrigued Kin to head for the front door. "I'm no prisoner, and I refuse to be here any longer!"

Just as he reached for the door knob it turned of its own accord, letting out a soft squeak.

Almost instantly the ex-Oto-nin were on their feet, hands and feet ready in the customary fight-or-flight position. It could just be Alice returning home from wherever she had disappeared off to, or it could be Sasuke returning home for the first time as well. If it was the latter, the Oto-nin were screwed and they knew it. They wouldn't be able to stand up against a rested Uchiha Sasuke, not when he'd kicked their ass so easily when he'd been half-dead on his feet after facing down the curse mark and Orochimaru.

When the door swung open, just missing Zaku, the spiky-haired shinobi came face to face with a grinning Alice.

Only, this wasn't the same Alice they had gotten to know in the brief time they'd come across her in the forest and the time with the bunshin yesterday. This Alice had wickedly long incisors brushing her bottom lips when they curved up into a plastic smile, nails sharp enough to cut through most objects with no effort, and eyes that shone like a lantern in the gloom of the house.

"Honey," the not-Alice said in a grating voice as she stepped into the doorway, "I'm home."

A yelp worked its way up Zaku's throat as he backpedalled away from the creature when it advanced further into the house. His hands were shaking as he put his good arm up, as if to ward of the intruder. "W-Who the hell are you?"

The not-Alice blinked demurely. "Don't you recognise me? I'm Alice. Well, I'm wearing her skin for the moment."

A sharp laugh rocked the girl's body suddenly, making the Oto-nin flinch back. The not-Alice hardly seemed to notice as it was too busy chuckling and cocking its head to the side to peer closer at the three ninja in front of it. "Hmm, not too sure what Alice sees in you mortals; guess you'll have to prove me wrong."

Dosu's eyes narrowed into slits as he regained his composure and began to press back at the intruder. "We don't have to prove anything to _you_, whoever the hell you are."

"Oh my," not-Alice said dramatically as it placed a hand over its mouth in a simpering manner. "I've forgotten my manners, haven't I?" It dropped the hand to reveal another wicked grin. "My name on this plane of existence is Shinigami, God of the Dead; it's my uttermost _pleasure _to meet you in the flesh."

A choked gasp escaped Kin's and she staggered back slightly to bump into the chair she had been sitting on moments earlier; back when everything was boring and there were no invaders to freak the fuck out of her. "S-Shinigami?"

"'S-Shinigami?'" the God mimicked back in the exact voice that Kin possessed, its luminous eyes rolling mockingly in its sockets. "Honestly, brat, to you have soup for brains? I said Shinigami, and I mean Shinigami. I've been inside Alice for longer than you've known her, I've just never really had a chance to say hello."

"You've said your greetings," Dosu said sharply, the only one of the three ninja who didn't seem like they were going to wet their pants. "Now what do you really want?"

For no apparent reason, Shinigami's lips curled up further, straining Alice's face in a way that made her foreign features appear to be made out of plastic; clearly the god had no idea how to perfectly use his new body's face, as human's lips weren't meant to stretch that far. "Oh, nothing much. Just your unwavering loyalty to Alice."

When Zaku and Kin let out a surprised splutter, Dosu took charge of asking questions once more. "Why? What could you or Alice possibly gain from our loyalty?"

"For Alice, it seems to be a matter of having people she can trust at her back, as well as people devoted for her cause. Also, she seems to have a mad delusion that with rigorous training you three idiots could become equivalent to the Sound Four you worship so much back at your filthy home." Shinigami inspected his nails causally, seeming fascinated with the dark tint they had adopted. "As for me; I'm just here to make sure Alice gets what she wants, and the future doesn't hold so many souls for me to reap. My job's tiring, you know?"

Licking her lips nervously and rocking back and forth on her heels, Kin exchanged several long looks with her teammates. They had never been especially close, and had only really been tossed together as a devoted squad of men for Orochimaru to use as canon fodder against Sasuke, but Kin had spent a long amount of time cooped up with the two idiots beside her – they were starting to grow on her; a bit like mould, really.

Giving Zaku a determined nod and pursing her lips at Dosu, Kin turned back to the terrifying creature. "What do you want us to do?"

"For now?" Shinigami asked rhetorically as it looked up from its nails. "Hide. That infernal Uchiha brat will be returning shortly to get changed for the funeral of Hiruzen – I can already sense him heading this way – and he won't be pleased to see you lot here. He'll probably try to kill you."

"Soothing thought," Kin muttered sarcastically, making Zaku snort with dry amusement beside her.

With another roll of its eyes, Shinigami began to shoo them out of the room and towards the back door that led out onto the veranda which was connected to a long-since neglected garden – at least, until Alice got to it and began to cultivate several herbs and plants for her poisons and antidotes (not like Sasuke knew). "Quit your yapping and get out of here. I'll leave you idiots a kage bunshin so that you don't mess anything up, and it will help you guys find someplace to hide until Alice and I can sort out this mess."

Even as Kin, Dosu and Zaku protested against this statement, Shinigami was shoving them out the sliding door and down into the garden. The god then continued to ignore their meaningless chatter as he began to experiment.

Making sure that Alice was still curled up safely in the back of her mind – yep, she was still crying and lamenting to a small part of Shinigami about the unfairness of life – Shinigami focused on splitting off another part of himself.

It wasn't hard for the immortal being to do, really, as he could exist in multiple forms across hundreds of planes of existence. But he had never done it quite like this.

Carefully moulding a small portion of the chakra that Alice held, and mixing some of his own power into it as well, Shinigami created a kage bunshin. However, he made sure to keep Alice in the confines of her original body, and made sure only to split off a small piece of himself – only enough to power the basic construct for a day or two – to cram into the duplicate.

With a puff of smoke, there were now two not-Alice's; both looking rather pleased at the success of their small experiment.

The original gave a mere nod to its duplicate before leaping onto the roof of Sasuke's house to go bounding off to the funeral that was sure to be starting soon.

After watching the small figure disappear off into the distance, the kage bunshin turned back to the now silent Oto-nin with a wolfish grin. "I know a great place to set up shop for a while. How does the Forest of Death sound?"

Zaku whimpered.

* * *

Edging cautiously through the crowd gathering around the simple yet beautiful casket displayed proudly by the Hokage headstone – the place where all Hokage bodies were laid to rest, alongside their spouses (if they had any) – Sasuke tried his best not to bump anyone. His wounds were still healing, even after nearly two days of rest in the hospital, and he was very much wary about inflaming them with any unnecessary jostling.

Luckily, the crowd was kind enough to let the small boy slide through them, tailed closely by his female teammate and their sensei. Naruto had long since split from them to stand beside a highly distraught Konohamaru and a solemn Iruka, leaving the rest of his team to find their wayward companion who had been missing for the past day.

While Sasuke may not have been the kind of person to be quick to panic or worry, he could uneasily admit to himself that the empty hospital room they had found in the name of one Alice Clostar had made his heart pump just a tad bit faster, and made his breath hitch a little bit.

Ever the one to overreact, Naruto had instantly started wailing about missing persons and kidnappings. His injuries barely seemed to slow him down as he zipped about the room, looking for the missing girl in question.

It had only been Sakura's eye for detail that had soothed the small team of three; a made bed and a discarded hospital gown wasn't the sight of a kidnaping. Alice had probably just left, and the open window had only further proven that fact.

But Naruto had protested heartily at this action, worried that the girl had been too grievously injured to be moving around; they had not seen Alice since the exams in the stadium, and were unclear on her situation either than a simple set of directions to her room from a harried nurse.

Yet again, Sakura came through. She had merely picked up the clipboard tagged on the end of Alice's bed and read out the details scribbled there in rushed pen. As far as the doctors were concerned, Alice was only a bit beat up and a clear waste of valuable bedding; it was only the subtle threats of the most loyal Sannin that withheld them from simply tossing the girl out into the corridor with the other shinobi.

After breathing sighs of relief, Team Seven had then come to an awkward sort of standstill; they had a funeral that they did not wish to go to, and a missing friend. What were they to do?

It was only when Sasuke bluntly said that Alice would be at the funeral – there was no way she'd miss seeing off her oyaji – that the teammates said their goodbyes and headed off to change for the upcoming event.

Sasuke wouldn't lie when he said that another mild wave of anxiety press against his throat when he'd found his home empty and slightly dusty, but he'd quickly changed and headed off to meet with his teammates.

Which brought him to now; still looking for his wayward housemate.

A slight tug on his black shirt caused Sasuke to look back at Sakura irritably, who merely frowned at him in response before pointing off into the crowd.

Following the direction heralded by her slender finger, Sasuke found a long trail of familiar hair at the end of it. Even in the dark gloom of the approaching storm Alice's long mane of hair gleamed a coppery colour, the ends of it curling upwards even more so by the humid atmosphere. It all framed a rather miserable face, and Sasuke blanched slightly at the thought of going to stand next to the girl. Not just because of the awkwardness he knew was going to cement itself between the two, but also because it would mean that he would have to break the bubble of space that had formed around her; Konoha people were not easy to trust (let alone foreigners), and word had gotten around that Alice had been there to see their beloved Sandaime die.

(Suspicion and hatred were not a good combination, and Konoha shinobi and civilians alike were quick to mix abundances of it to build solid walls around the foreigner.)

A soft shove to the back courtesy of Kakashi had Sasuke moving, nonetheless, and Sakura gave a satisfied nod towards the boy before retracing her steps to join up with Ino, who she had spotted earlier.

On the other hand, Kakashi merely melded back into the crowd, not wishing to stay for the service; he'd prefer to pay his respects at the memorial stone.

Alice didn't stir when Sasuke fell into place beside her still form, his eyes trained on her entire being. Not a single flicker of recognition crossed the girl's face, and Sasuke felt slightly stung by her unusual brush-off; normally Alice would meaningfully look at him before turning her nose up with a dramatic huff if she was angry with him (which was most of the time).

This time, there was no hidden smiles or meanings in the tired lines of her face, and the clenched fists firmly attached to the short hem of her dress were white with the stress of holding herself together. Her eyes were glossy and unfocused like no one was really at home, and her lips were a soft blue with cold, even though she wore long sleeves – although one could argue that they were not truly sleeves as the material was a gauzy and decorative pattern of mesh from the shoulder down.

Frankly, Sasuke was more than a little freaked out by this zombie impersonating Alice. While it may look like her – albeit a rather cleaned up and more feminine-looking Alice than usual – the lack of the usual mischievous spark in her eyes, and the sly grin on her lips made her seem like a whole different person.

Yet, Sasuke had no opportunity to try and slap the colour back into her lifeless cheeks, nor to taunt her until her usual quick-fire temper came blooming to the unnaturally pale surface of her skin. The ceremony had begun and Sasuke's, as well as everyone else's attention, was on the spiel of people coming up to paint pictures of the deceased Hokage with their words, and to revel in his kindness and purity.

Throughout it all, Sasuke kept his eyes fixated straight ahead at the small picture of Hiruzen that was perched on the coffin containing his body. He studiously ignored fellow shinobi and civilian's tears as they fell in a steady beat that thrummed against the ground beneath their feet. He turned away from the sliver of Naruto's heartbroken face that he could spot between the crowds of grieving people, his tanned face patched over with bandages and smudged with tears. His stomach turned when he spotted Sakura clinging to Ino's hand, no tears falling from her eyes yet, but her usually curvy lips was pressed into a sharp line that looked out of place on her soft face.

The only thing that he did not turn from, that he never once wavered from, was the lack of reaction that came from Alice.

Even as they spoke of the Sandaime's last moments, or as people began to step up to place soft, white flowers on his coffin, Alice did not move, nor did she make a sound.

Rain began to softly beat down on Sasuke's head as he stood there beside the girl, but he made no attempt to move. He didn't quite understand why he did not just walk up alongside his teammates to place a flower on the coffin, and then just head back to his empty house with its empty rooms to listen to his empty thoughts and feel his empty heart beat in his chest.

For no apparent reason, the young Uchiha stood in the pouring rain beside what could be a dead girl. He made no sound, he made no movement; he was a perfect copy of the human being beside him.

They could've stood there for hours. The only sign of movement was when people began to flutter off in small groups, voices still low and salt still lingering on their cheeks. Soon, the cemetery was almost empty of all but the most devoted; those who could stand and watch their leader be lowered into the earth, surrounded by hundreds of flowers.

Eventually, even they left, and it was simply him, a fresh grave, and a breathing corpse beside him.

Then, without any warning, Alice was moving.

No light came into her eyes, nor was there a sudden intake of breath that signified her reanimation. It was just with a simple jerk of her limbs, her hands unclenching with a soft crunch to let her stumble her way towards the grave.

Shocked by the sudden turn of events, Sasuke could only continue to stand and watch; his limbs had frozen with the continuous rain and the stillness that all cemeteries demanded from the living.

Sasuke watched as Alice tenderly picked up a flower that had been discarded on the ground; half-crushed and deemed useless. She then knelt on the wet ground, hardly seeming to care about the water that was surely seeping into the hem of her dress.

The flower was placed onto the grave with care, Alice's fingers gently smoothing down the petals that had been twisted while also stroking the stem into place. The moment felt private, and Sasuke was suddenly uncomfortable to be standing there, continuing to watch.

Then, Alice opened her mouth for the first time in what seemed like ages, and out came a string of words that Sasuke couldn't even begin to comprehend. The words twisted around on themselves in short clips and with smooth barrels of pronunciations. They came softly at the start, and then built up; louder and louder, with more and more emotion. Alice was pouring out the entirety of her thoughts to the grave of a dead leader, and Sasuke couldn't but wish, in that particular moment, that he could understand the strange language that was Alice's native tongue.

All at once, the entire dynamic changed; the tone of the words, the pace, the words themselves, the beat of Sasuke's empty heart,

The words pouring out of Alice's mouth were suddenly clearer and more lilting than Sasuke had ever heard from the girl, but a low key of bitterness laced through them to thread them into the beginnings of what could only be a song.

While Sasuke had heard Alice sing before, he had only heard her do so with other people's voices or in jest. What he was hearing now was a song that exposed Alice herself; her true voice and emotions, which had seemed to be hidden for so long.

The foreign song echoed hollowly through the raindrops that surrounded the funeral grounds, even after Alice finished with a last, warbling note. Sasuke couldn't help but absently wish that the song would continue, just to break up the silence and to fill up his head and heart.

(But wishes were never granted, no matter how hard you prayed – little Sasuke learnt that after nights of screaming and crying to the gods as he choked on the scent of his parents ashes and scratched out _his _face on every photo he could get his hands on.)

Without another word, Alice gave a short bob of her head to the gravestone and the crumpled flower before getting up and heading back towards Sasuke.

Her eyes were still empty and hollow in her unnaturally pale face, her hands were still twisted, and her lips were still a light blue with cold. But her eyes burned into Sasuke's as she brushed past him, her hands were soft when she skimmed along his right shoulder, and her lips were a scalding hot when she pressed them lightly against his cheek.

Twisting around to follow Alice's swift path out of the cemetery, Sasuke stared with dark eyes at the blurred silhouette of the girl he could pick up through the blinding rain. The smudge of contrasting shades and bright hair was a source of a surge in his gut that he couldn't quite place, and Sasuke bit his lip sternly to keep whatever it was down; it wouldn't do to lose his cool.

That was the last he saw of Alice for another few days.

The next time he saw her, it was with hatred in his eyes, lightning in his palm, and her blood staining the carpet beneath his feet.

* * *

**Presented without comment.**


End file.
